


Swords and Anchors and Elves, oh my!

by Pyroraptor



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: All aboard the friendship express!, All friendship, And because calling him Dad just makes me laugh, Asexual Inquisitor, Canon Divergence, Dad!Solas is best Solas, Disney Princess Herald is best Herald, Gen, I love and hate this guy, I try not to be too detailed, MGiT, Many references and jokes, Minor Violence, Modern Character in Thedas, Modern Girl in Thedas, Mostly in the Herald's perspective but sometimes jumps around, Self-Insert, Shapeshifting, Some swear words abound, Song lyrics in a few chapters, Third Person POV, Trying to save Solas with the power of friendship and hugs, Vague disregard for historical accuracy, Wanted to explore a side of him that isn't romance, first person POV, writing this for fun
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-12
Updated: 2019-01-31
Packaged: 2019-03-30 13:36:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 70
Words: 226,790
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13952709
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pyroraptor/pseuds/Pyroraptor
Summary: Yet another case in the ever-expanding phenomena of people getting trapped inside their video games has occurred for a copy of Dragon Age: Inquisition.  Now a modern 21-year-old Herald of Andraste must learn to cope in a world of magic, survive in medieval living conditions, and not die for a lack of internet connection.  Will she survive?  Will she reveal too much information?  Does Solas actually look like an egg?!  Tune in to find out!  Same Dragon time, same Dragon fanfic!Or I wrote the millionth self-insert fanfic about Dragon Age: Inquisition in existence and I love it.





	1. Cassandra

**Author's Note:**

> After reading lots of other Dragon Age self-inserts, I decided to write this fanfic. I started off writing this to get an idea of how the companions would actually react to things I would probably say instead of the dialogue wheel and it snowballed from there. Comments and critiques are appreciated! Thank you!

  After the past few days, everything felt like a blur.  First, waking up to find swords at my neck. Then that whole fire shooting from my palms thing, the various rifts and finally that giant green whirlpool in the sky.  Once all that craziness was though, I then got to process what just all happened to me. By some magic or coincidence, I’m now stuck in Dragon Age: Inquisition and stuck with the mark.  To top it all off, I must be some kind of magic user as well.  _ As if I wasn’t enough of a Mary Sue. _

  I’d decided to be honest with all the various characters about my situation from the get-go.  Of course, this means everybody thinks I’m a crazy mage who banged my head in the Conclave explosion; but this means if it gets revealed I’m telling the truth, they’ll trust me and no liar revealed storyline.   _ At least I hope that’s how it’ll play out, anyway. _

  It's been a few days since Cassandra declared the Inquisition reinstated.  I’ve already been introduced to the advisors, though without the ‘Go see Mother Giselle’ task.  Leliana sent out ravens to both the Mages and Templars and we’re still waiting on replies.  _ Turns out birds are slower than snails; who knew? _  During this time, I’m free to explore Haven and get used to my accommodations.  I’d have thought they’d place me in the one the Herald wakes up in after sealing the Breach, but no, that’s a sick bay.  Instead, I’m off in a secluded cabin a stone's throw from the training grounds that never was in the game? It’s better than having to sleep on dirt though.  Of course, since I have the rift-sealing mark, I doubt they would turn me away now.

 

  The cabin gets too much sunlight.  Cullen starting drills at 4 AM (or at least that’s what my phone says and I’m not sure if it’s accurate anymore) woke me up.  Cullen yelling ‘Attention’ and ‘Forward march’ added to the morning sun streaming in and I just couldn’t fall back asleep. At all. 

**_BASH, BASH, CLANG, CLANG_ **

  “There’s a shield in your hand, block with it!”

  “How about you block your mouth Commander Ikea...”  I mumbled to myself, vaguely mocking the Commander.  _ Lord, that man can shout.  _  No matter what position I lay in, the bed felt uncomfortable and the noise only got louder.  I’d have used my white noise app, but that drains my phone and I’d rather keep it alive as long as I can.   _ Maybe with my newfound magic, I can figure out a way to charge it…? _

 

  After what felt like hours of just lying there, I just got up and began to walk around out of boredom.  The snow and ice crunched under my shoes.  _ Man, it’s cold out! _  I glance at the sky, looking through the grey clouds at the dull sun.  It occurs to me that without my phone or a watch- I can’t tell time here.  Does Thedas even work on a 24-hr cycle? But the more I look at the sky, I find myself only looking at the Breach.  I stare at the mark, on my right hand, wonder what I did to get stuck with this. It started off only looking like a cut on my palm, but the more the Breach grew, so did the mark.  By now, the Breach was stable, but the mark had started to snake from my palm to around my whole hand. Almost like an odd sort of glove.

 Looking at the troops, Cullen was still barking instructions at them, hours later.  _  It’s a wonder he doesn’t lose his voice. _  A few feet to the left, Cassandra was already training for the day.  When she paused to catch her breath, the Seeker noticed me watching. Unsure of what to do, I gave her a small wave.  She seemed a tad confused, but nodded her head in acknowledgment and went back to whacking the dummy. 

 

  Watching her made me feel a pang inside.  I’ve already met these people. I was able to make friends with everyone in the Inner Circle on my first playthrough.  But now, I’m just a stranger. Coupled with my shyness, it seemed like they were all going to just be aloof figures plotting the course of history with me saying what they told me to.   _ I suppose this means I’ve got to make friends all over again.   _ With this in mind, I began walking towards Cassandra, who was not losing any steam.

  “Hey.”  I said quietly as I approached.  Cass turned her head to me.

  “You’re up early.”  She observed before turning back to the dummy.  I only nodded as I fumbled for what to say. She just kept striking at those straw dummies left and right.  There were deep gashes in the figure’s abdomen, near the archery target. I coughed slightly to clear my throat.

  “Seems like you need dummies made out of sturdier stuff, huh?”  I saw a smile play on her face for a few seconds.

  “That would be nice.”  Cassandra said, now placing the sword and shield down.  She was short of breath.  _ Must be hard to fight like that will all that armor and given how much swords and shields weigh.  Must take a lot of stamina. _

  “Like maybe iron, or something.”   _ Maybe the stuff they make punching bags out of?  Could that handle a sword? _

  “Did I do the right thing?”  Cassandra asked, staring at the Breach.  Her arms were folded across her chest, her legs straight.  I noticed she occasionally rolled back onto her heels. Likely an old habit, I’d guess.  “What I have set in motion here could destroy everything I revered my whole life. One day, they might write about me as a traitor, a madwoman, a fool. And they may be right.”

  “Well…” I paused, unsure of how to answer her.  While she  **was** talking to me, it almost felt like she didn’t expect me to answer.  “What do you think?”  Cassandra sighed, fingers drumming lightly on her forearm.

  “I believe you are innocent. I believe more is going on here than we can see. And I believe no one else cares to do anything about it. They will stand in the fire and complain that it is hot. But is this the Maker’s will? I can only guess.”

  I kicked at a stray pebble, not knowing where I wanted the conversation to go.  I wanted to ask if she believed my claims of not being from Thedas, but I didn’t want to be too pushy on the subject.

  “It seems like you had no choice but to suspect me.  I was the only person who survived. You had probable cause.”

  “I was determined to have someone answer for what happened. Anyone.”  She began pacing back and forth now, with quick and long strides. I now stepped to the side, standing by her gear.  “My trainers always said, ‘Cassandra you are too brash. You must think before you act.’ I see what must be done and I do it! I see no point in running around in circles like a dog chasing its tail. But I misjudged you in the beginning, did I not? I thought the answer was before me, clear as day. I cannot afford to be so careless again.”  I gave a small sigh of relief at that.

  “It’s... nice to hear that.”  Cassandra stopped and turned to me, a reassuring look in her eye.

  “I can be harsh, I know.”

  The Seeker almost resumed pacing, but then stopped as she thought of something.  Her mouth was slightly open but then closed. She frowned to herself, then finally spoke to me.

  “You’ve said you don’t believe you’re chosen. Does that mean… you also don’t believe in the Maker?”  It was now my turn to stand agape. I hadn’t really thought about how to answer this question.  _ But I guess I ought to be honest with her.  Cassandra deserves that much. _

  “In all honesty, I’m not sure.”  The older woman blinked at me for a moment.

  “Not sure?”

  “Well, it’s like, I’m not sure what to believe.  Like, there could be any number of explanations as to the universe and it’s creation and all that.  It could be one source, all, none, you name it. I guess I’m still figuring it all out. Sorta like I’m keeping an open mind?”   _ And that’s a really fancy way of shrugging my shoulders. _  Cassandra now nodded slowly in understanding.

  “I suppose it doesn’t really matter now. I have to believe we were put on this path for a reason, even if you do not. Now it simply remains to see where it leads us.”

  “Yeah, it’ll be interesting to see where all this ends up.”   _ Even though I kind of already know that.   _ I now waved her goodbye and began to walk away when she stopped me.

  “Herald!  A moment.”  At that, I turned around.

  “Cassandra, call me Catherine.  I’m not one for formalities an’ stuff.”  Her eyebrows rose in surprise for a few seconds.

“I see.  It just occurred to me that I don’t know much about you.”  _  Come to think of it I  _ **_am_ ** _ an enigma to these guys. _

  “I’m an open book; what do you want to know?”  Now she faltered again.

  “I am... not sure.  No one really knows anything about you besides your claims.  Where are you from?”

  “I’m from Michigan like I said.”  Cassandra looked really confused. One side of her lips twitched down and one eyebrow rose while the other lowered.   _ Disbelief. _  She sighed one of her infamous ‘Ugghs’.

  “And where is this ‘Michigan’ located?”

  “It’s a state in the midwest part of the United States of America, where I’m from.”  She pursed her lips again. “Look, I know no one here believes me at all, but I’m being honest.  I have no reason to lie to any of you guys. So… just take it on faith?” Again, another sigh, but this one longer.

  “You sound like a mad woman, but…”  She paused, glancing at the sky then back at me.  “I suppose if there is a rip in the sky, then the possibility of you coming from somewhere other than Thedas isn’t that far-fetched.”

_   She believes me!  Kind of, anyway. _

  “But, this does not mean I believe you.  I’m only saying it is possible.”

_   And now my hopes are dashed. _

  “Of course.  I understand, Seeker.”

  “Call me Cassandra.  I’m… not one for formalities, either.”  I felt a smile dawn on my face. 

  “I’ll see you around then, Cassandra.”


	2. Varric

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Intro: Varric!

   Walking up the stone steps covered in ice was a lot more challenging than I thought.   _ I miss handrails.  I feel like I’m going to either slip and fall backward or land on my face; take your pick. _  After getting to the top, in front of me were some soldiers talking in front of a cabin.  There was a fire alongside a tent, with Varric tending to it. A book was beside him, with a quill and inkpot resting on top.   _ I guess he’s writing everything down? _ _ I s’pose that makes sense.  He’s a writer after all.  _  While I continued examining everything, the dwarf caught notice of me.

  “Hey, kid, you got a minute?”  He called, flagging me over to him.  I waved in acknowledgment and walked over.

  “What’s up, Varric?  You need somethin’?” After befriending Varric as both Hawke and the Inquisitor, I feel a lot more casual with him than the others.  Maybe it’s the whole personal vibe he’s got.

  “So, now that Cassandra’s out of earshot, are you holding up alright?”  It’s funny, I’ve listened to him give this talk so many times, but now it feels kind of nice to have someone concerned for me.   _ Hang on…  _

  Varric and I are almost the same height.  

_   Granted, I  _ **_am_ ** _ short, and I’m not literally eye-to-eye with Varric.  But he’s the only one so far that I don’t have to look up to see them.  _

  “I mean, you go from being the most wanted criminal in Thedas to joining the armies of the faithful.”  He continued, while I kept thinking about our heights.  _ At least I can use magic, then people can’t call me a dwarf.   _  “Most people would have spread that out over more than one day.”   _ Heh, you got that right. _  I bit the inside of my cheek and scratched at an imaginary itch on the back of my neck.

  “In all honesty, I can’t keep up with all this.  One minute I’m just sleeping in bed, then all of a sudden: ‘Hey, guess what?  You can shoot fire now!’ This is just... weird.” Varric gave me a smile.

  “That makes two of us, kid. For days now, we’ve been staring at the Breach, watching demons and Maker-knows-what fall out of it. ‘Bad for morale’ would be an understatement. I still can’t believe anyone was in there and lived.”  _ Dude, I know right? _

  “Me neither.  But, didn’t Cassandra say you could go?  How come you stayed, Varric?” The dwarf looked surprised, then in thought as to what to say.

“I like to think I’m as selfish and irresponsible as the next guy, but this… Thousands of people died on that mountain. I was almost one of them. And now there’s a hole in the sky.”  He glanced up at said sky hole. “Even I can’t walk away and just leave that to sort itself out.”

  I nodded in agreement.  “This all just seems really unreal.”

  “If this is all just the Maker winding us up, I hope there is a damn good punch line coming.”  Varric again looked lost in thought, before turning to me again.

  “Listen, you might want to consider running at the first opportunity. I’ve written enough tragedies to recognize where this is going. Heroes are everywhere. I’ve seen that. But the hole in the sky? That’s beyond heroes. We’re going to need a miracle.”  I simply shrugged my shoulders, my hands moving to my pockets, before remembering I had no pockets in these pants.  _ Stupid purse industry. _

  “Considering my circumstances, I have nowhere  **to** run to.”  Varric now raised an eyebrow for a second.   _ There’s that face everyone's making.  The ‘You’re crazy.’ face. _

  “Right...  Look, if you did come from another world or something, wouldn’t it be easier to lie about everything?”

  “Yeah, maybe.  But then you’ve got to remember  **that** lie and any other lies you come up with.  Then when everyone finds out you were lying, no one trusts you.  I figure it’s easier to start with the truth and have everyone think I’m nuts rather than deal with losing everyone’s trust at a critical moment, you know?”  Varric gave a ‘Sure, okay.’ sort of face.

  “Besides, I’m honest to a fault and would’ve blurted the truth anyway.”   _ Plus I hate liar-revealed stories. _  Varric crossed his arms casually and nodded.

  “Can’t say I blame you.  I’ve known some people like that.  Hawke was the same way when I first met him.”

_   Hawke… wait that reminds me! _ _ I have no idea what world state I’m in. _  Judging by the ‘him’ I could either be in the default or one of my own.   _ I guess there’s only one way to find out. _

  “Say, Varric?  Speaking of Hawke, mind if I ask you a few questions?”  At this, he seemed interested or at least intrigued. He now tapped his chin in thought.

  “Actually, I’ve got a few for you myself.  Why don’t we swap; question for a question?”

  “Sure, I don’t mind.”  He now smiled and cocked his head to the bench behind him.

  “Excellent!  Take a seat.”  

 

  Following his lead, I sat on the side closest to the brick wall.  Varric now took out his book and grabbed the quill, dipping it in the ink pot between us.

  “So…”  He started, the quill ready at hand, book open on his knee.  “What’s your full name?”

  “My name?”  He gave a small smirk.

  “Well everyone’s only been calling you ‘Herald’ the past few days.  It’d be nice to know who exactly that title belongs to.”

  “Ah, right.  I see your point.  “My first name’s Catherine. With a C.”  His eyebrow quirked again as he gave a chuckle.

  “You always introduce yourself like that?”  

  “I’m used to having to correct people.  Thought I’d save you the trouble of scratching it out and re-writing it.”  Varric gave a half smile as he jotted it down.

  “Very kind of you, Catherine.  You have a last name, I hope?”

  “Hawking.”  At that, his gaze jolted to me.

  “You’re joking.”  I shook my head for him.

“Nope.  Hawking isn’t exactly like Hawke, but-”

  “But close enough that people will probably start thinking.”   _ Oh, that’ll be a whole ‘nother problem.  I hope not many people think that. But then again, that’s how the whole ‘Herald’ thing started.  Bah! _

  “So what’s your question about Hawke?  I’m assuming you’ve read my book?”

  “No, I haven’t.”  He genuinely seemed surprised at this.

  “Really now?”   


  “Well, I mean, I sort of have, but it’s kind of hard to explain without people thinking I’ve gone off the deep end.”  Varric paused a moment, studying me closely.

  “Alright kid, how about I give you the benefit of the doubt, let’s say you’re telling the truth, and you just explain to me.”

  “You sure about that?”  He gave a shrug and a lighthearted smirk.

“I've seen some weird shit in my day; I doubt you can top it.”  I took in a breath, trying to think of how to word this without saying ‘You’re a video game character.’ outright.

  “So, where I come from, we do have the Tales of the Champion, only it’s not written by you.  It’s kind of like a ‘Choose Your Own Adventure’ story. You can choose if Hawke is male or female, mage or not, their personality, and what kind of choices they make.  So I’m trying to figure out if Hawke is more like the path I chose versus the ‘default’ path the creators agreed on.” Varric gave a few long nods.

  “Okay, I hear you.  So what would you like to know?”   _ Uhh...where do I start? _

  “What’s his name?”   


“Lachdanan.”  Varric replied smoothly.   _ Well, that answers that question.  That means this is my own world state. _  I nodded to him.

  “Okay, cool!  That’s all I really need, I guess.”  Varric looked a little confused.

  “That’s it?  Just his name?”  I kind of shrugged and gave a sheepish smile.

  “It puts everything in place for me, that’s all.”

  “Okay then,”  Varric said, twirling the quill in his hand.  “How do you feel about your whole, being a mage thing?  From your reaction to summoning fire from your hand at the Rift, I’d guess you’re not used to that?”

  “To be honest, I have no idea how any of it works.  Where I come from, there’s no magic at all. It’s freaky and weird and it kind of scares me.”

  “You’re not the only one.  I’ve heard you’re spooking a lot of the Chantry right now.”

  “Oh, goody.”

  
  


  After that, Varric kept asking a dozen and a half basic questions.  Occupation before this mess? Student. What did you study? Still trying to figure it all out.  Any ideas so far? Nope. Just a list of what I don’t want to be. And so on and so forth. In the end, it all took about half an hour, before Varric thanked me for answering him and that he had some business to take care of.     
  
  And then I was left alone by the fire, just staring at the mark.  Since the Breach was sealed it wasn’t flaring up as much; only the faint green glow sometimes.  This new mark and new magic were honestly a little terrifying. I have no clue how to control it or how it works.  And if the talk of demons in the fade is true, then I might be in danger. Admittedly, I couldn’t remember if I’d had dreams since I got here.  Just blackness. How long before I experience the Fade? What is it like? Origins? DA2? Like in the game I’m stuck in? 

  All this thinking made me keep glancing down the path, in the direction of Solas’ cabin.  I have to wonder if he’s a night owl or morning person? _Maybe a morning person, since he’d want to get to the Fade ASAP at night?  Or a night owl so he could stay in the fade longer during the daylight?_

_ I suppose I could go see if he’s awake.  I need to go talk with him anyhow. _


	3. Solas

  I felt more anxious the closer I got to Solas’ cabin.   _ Is he awake?  Sleeping? If he’s in the cabin, do I knock?  Would that be disturbing him? Would that make him angry?  _  So many what if’s ran through my head as I climbed the few steps.

_   Is the cabin even his?  He stands in front of it, sure, but does he sleep there?   _ The more I walked forward, and the stone wall receding in my vision, I saw a figure out of the corner of my eye.

  “The Chosen of Andraste.  A blessed hero sent to save us all.”  A familiar voice said, causing me to stumble on a step in surprise.  Solas stood near the edge of the wall, watching me, scrutinizing me. The elven apostate used the staff in his hands to lean on, looking casual, but still seemed tense.   _ He says ‘bless/Id/’ instead of ‘bless/d/’.  _ _ Of course that might be the difference in accents. _

  “I really don’t know about being a hero.  I just... want to be thought of as a person.  My actions should define me, not some mark or if people think I’m holy.”  The elf seemed slightly amused.  _ He never looks directly at me. Near me or in my direction, but he never meets my eyes. _

  “Humble, but ultimately irrelevant.”  Solas stated, now gazing seemingly into the distance, at the Breach, like those I’ve spoken to before him.  “I’ve journeyed deep into the Fade in ancient ruins and battlefields to see the dreams of lost civilizations.  I’ve watched as hosts of spirits clash to reenact the bloody past in ancient wars both famous and forgotten.”  _ I’ve always loved the way that line was delivered.  The cadence, how he slips into Iambic Pentameter. I kind of wish he did it more often.  Kind of shows his antiquity, so to speak. _ _ Makes me wish I had a copy of Shakespeare's plays with me.  I wish I could hear what Hamlet’s Soliloquy would sound like coming from him.  Maybe Iago, given the trickster persona he has in Elven lore? Is that fitting? _

  “Every great war has its heroes.”  He continued. “I’m just curious what kind you’ll be.”  Except then Solas stopped abruptly, looking at me with one brow raised and a slight purse to his lips.  “Is there a reason for your staring?” Quickly closing my mouth and turning my gaze, I kicked at the dirt, embarrassed.

  “I’m sorry, that’s rude.  It’s just, you were speaking in iambic pentameter for a bit and I thought it sounded really cool, is all.”  

  “Iambic pentameter?”  He repeated in question. A little curious, Solas now began to move closer to me, still maintaining a good distance away.   _ He doesn’t trust me all that much, does he?  Why should he? I’m some random schmuck who stole his mark and claims to be otherworldly. _

  “It’s a type of poetry.  It’s usually an unstressed syllable followed by a stressed one.  I know it’s in sections of, five lines, I think? Hence the ‘penta’ prefix.  Usually, the poems I’m used to are sonnets, which have fourteen lines, plus a couple at the end.”  I saw more curiosity flicker in his eyes, along with a slight tilt of the head.

  “What do you mean by ‘stressed and unstressed’?”

  “It’s got a rhythmic quality to it.  Kinda like a heartbeat?” Solas nodded deeply a few times.  He shifted his weight and changed the hand holding his staff.

  “I see.”  He replied.

  “So, what were you talking about when you said ruins and battlefields?”  Now he seemed more comfortable, his stance relaxing somewhat and he now met my gaze directly.   _ Which kind of feels unnerving… _

  “Any building strong enough to withstand the rigors of time has a history.  Every battlefield is steeped in death. Both attract spirits. They press against the Veil weakening the barrier between our worlds.  When I dream in such places, I go deep into the Fade. I can find memories no other living being has ever seen.” I could only listen with wide eyes.  It was one thing to talk to him in the game, but it felt very different speaking and listening to him talk in person.

  “That’s…”  I wasn’t sure how to put it.  “That’s really cool.” Solas’ brows both rose in surprise for a moment, almost briefly stunned.

  “I… Thank you.  It’s not a common field of study, for obvious reasons.  Not so flashy as throwing fire or lightning. The thrill of finding remnants of a thousand year old dream?  I would not trade it for anything.” I couldn’t help but vaguely share his excitement at the subject.

  “You get to see history up close and in person.  That’s so much cooler than reading about it in a book.  I’d trade that for chucking fireballs any day.” Now ‘Chuckles’ gave a small laugh.  Small and quiet, but still.

  “Your enthusiasm is refreshing for someone your age, Herald.”  He now turned to his staff, thinking as he twirled in around, possibly pretending to examine it.   _ Wait, ‘your age’?  How old does he think I am? Or is this his whole ‘I'm actually millenias old’ age coming out of hiding? _

  “I’d prefer it if you’d call me by my name, Solas.  The Herald title wasn’t exactly my decision.” He glanced briefly at me.

  “Very well, Catherine.”  He looked at the Breach again for a few seconds.   _ I have to wonder what he’s thinking. _ _ Is he regretful of what his part was?  Disheartened his plans didn’t work out? _  “I shall stay then, at least until the Breach has been sealed.”

  “You were planning on leaving?”

  “I am an apostate surrounded by Chantry forces and unlike you, I do not have a divine mark to protect me.”  He says. My eyes lowered away from him.  _ I know he wasn’t yelling at me, but… it sure felt like it. _  Solas then sighed, lifting the staff with his right hand and tapping the end into the ground.

  “Cassandra has been accommodating, but you understand my caution.”  Looking back to him, I nodded.

  “Yeah, I understand.  But I don’t think Cassandra would or let anyone throw you into a Circle. She trusts you.”  Solas looked at me, as though wondering something.

  “Thank you, I appreciate the thought.  For now, let us hope either the mages or the Templars have the power to seal the Breach.”

 

  With that, I could only nod quietly in agreement.  I wanted to ask him so many questions, but I didn’t want to overdo it.  What if I came across as annoying? Or suspicious? Now there was a silence between the two of us.  Solas now turned to head into the cabin, giving a polite nod in my direction.  _ Wait, I didn’t even get to the whole reason I sought him out in the first place! _

  “Hey, um, wait a sec!”  Solas now slowly turned to me, his lip slightly pursed, still watching me like a hawk.

  “Yes?”  The mage uttered, sounding a bit annoyed.  Or exasperated.  _ What was it that he wanted to get to?  Take a nap? I guess he does have his own independence and isn’t scripted to wander in front of this wall.  _

  “Uh, speaking of the whole ‘Mages and Templars’ thing, I’ve been thinking:  I really don’t know much about magic. I have no clue how to use it. From what I’ve heard with demonic possession or starting wildfires, that scares me.  I want to learn to, like, control it. So, I was wondering, if maybe you could show me? Please?” 

  Initially, Solas took in my dialog without changing expression.  As I finished, his face turned from the pursed lips to a more integrated look.

  “You would not ask one of the Circle mages to instruct you?  You would turn to an apostate? An elven one, at that?” In part of his eyes, it seemed he was gauging my reaction; like he was testing me or something.

  “Considering all I’ve heard of the Circle and stuff, the Church seems to keep saying magic is bad and sinful and should be feared.  That just seems like it’s a recipe for disaster.”  _ Like telling teenagers to never have sex and to wait until marriage in health class doesn’t really work out. _

  “Besides, you have knowledge none of the ‘typical’ mages seem to know about the Fade.  You’re confident in your abilities and you sticking your neck out to help the Inquisition in all this mess is really admirable Solas.  So, apostate, smoshtate; I think you’re really cool.”

  Now, he genuinely seemed stunned.  Not like the subdued curiosity at my ‘You spoke in poetry’ bit, this was much more written on his face.   _ I suppose not even the trickster can wear his mask all the time, huh? _

  “Not the wisest course of action when you frame it that way.”  I bit the side of my cheek.

  “I didn’t mean it like that…”  He instead waved me off. Now Solas tapped his foot, looking a little lost in thought.  After a moment, he picked up his staff and began to walk down the steps. Confused as to what he was up to, I could only stand and watch him.  But then he turned back to me, turning halfway around.

  “Well, am I teaching you or not?”  He asked me in an authoritative tone.

  “You mean, you’ll do it?  But why now?” I asked, now leaping down the steps after him.  I half expected him to stand and explain, but Solas didn’t do that.  As soon as I caught up to him, he was off again, moving at a brisk pace.

  “You said yourself you have no training.  Usually, mages are trained from the time their magic manifests during adolescence until adulthood.  Your magic has manifested along with the Breach at an older age- putting you at a disadvantage. Therefore, we must start as early as possible if you want to survive.”  He slung his staff on his back while he walked and explained.  _ He makes this all sound like the Hunger Games or something. _  Trying my best to keep his pace without slipping on ice or snow, I couldn’t help but notice he -like many Dalish in the game- had a lack of shoes.   _So how are his feet not frozen right now?_  
  


* * *

 

  “Now, can you tell me what this is?”  The two of us now stood in the snow, underneath some trees near the blacksmith’s forge.  In his palm, Solas held a what looked like a small, flat stone. On the surface was some kind of carving, with some sort of characters that looked like the dwarven runes you’d get in the game.

  “It’s a rune?”  I guessed, feeling like that really wasn’t the answer.

  “No, this is not a rune.”   _ Ah, goody, I was right about being wrong. _  “Do you know what a ward is?”  

  “That’s like a barrier spell or something.  Kinda like a shield.” I learned that from Skyrim.

  “Close, but not quite.  What I am holding is a ward to keep demons at bay.  They are often used by mages while they dream-”

  “-Since demons are, like, drawn to mages and stuff?  So this keeps people from getting possessed an all that?”

  “Yes, that is correct.”

  “So do mages use wards all the time?  How can you even use that while sleeping?”

  “Typically wards are commonly used by weaker mages or in places where the Veil is thinned.  As for its use, a ward is changed with lyrium or mana before one drifts and the protection lasts through the night.”   _ Ye olde night light? _

  “So how do you charge it?  Just dunk it in a blue potion or something?”  
“Well, perhaps.  I have only ever needed to use a simple spell to fill the ward with energy.” 

  “How’s that work?”

  “Watch.”  He simply said.  A soft white glow appeared in the center of his palm, causing the light to snake into the carvings of the stone.  As the intensity of the light increased, the stone began to hover an inch above Solas’ palm. The color of the rune quickly changed from white to blue, and at that, the light in his palm vanished and the stone rested in hand.

  “Whoa…  How’d you do that, Solas?”

  “Focus.  A concentration of mana.”  Was the only clipped explanation he gave.  The next thing the elf did was drop the rune into my own palm. “Now you try.”

  “How?”  I asked while frowning at the rune, having no clue how he charged it.

  “Focus.”  Solas said again.  “You need to clear your mind.  Concentrate on the ward. Feel your mana and guide it to your hand.”  I made a face while I studied the carvings.  _ Focus and concentration don’t explain anything, old man!  _  I had no idea what Solas was talking about.  ‘Feel your mana’? I don’t know what that’s supposed to feel like.  My body heat? My pulse?

  “Try and remember what you felt when you summoned the fire at the rift.”   _ Right, the rift.  _ _ A shade was lunging for me and it had me against a wall.  There was so much adrenaline and all I could think was to throw out my hands to protect myself and then…  Fire. _ Taking a deep breath, I shut my eyes and tried to clear my mind like he suggested.   _ Breathe in,  breathe out. In, and out. _  After what felt like maybe twenty seconds of this, I peaked an eye open to see what was happening.  

  Absolutely nothing.

  Upon seeing this my frown distorted more than the first time.  I heard Solas give a hum in front of me.

  “Curious.”  He stated. “I had a thought this might happen.”  I only huffed and returned the ward to his waiting hand.

  “Judging by your first spell being done under duress, along with your unfamiliarity of magic, I suspect you may have a block of some sort.”  I now tilted my head toward him in confusion.  _  It’s like learning division or algebra all over again! _

  “A block?”  The elf nodded and began speaking while he charged the rune again.

  “Some new mages can experience a block in their magic due to a traumatic experience or fear.  Simply put, I think your encounter with the Shades coupled with the fact you seem quite out of your depth, you are probably experiencing a blockage with your magic.”   _ He almost sounds like a doctor giving a prognosis. _

  “Is there any way to get past it at all?”  Now Solas was done charging the small ward.  At my question, he could only shrug.

  “In the Fade, I have seen this problem on occasion.  For some, the blockage went away with time. For others, the only way to push past the barrier is to conquer their fear.”   _ Oh boy, that sounds great… _

  “Regardless of this blockage, we will continue with your training.  It’s best you become knowledgeable of proper techniques of spells, as well as the fade and spirits so you are not dead the moment your magic becomes apparent.”  I could only nod my head as he sort of lectured me in this stuff. Now he held out the fully charged ward to me. The carved markings had a faint blue color to them.  Upon my confusion as to what Solas was doing, he gestured for me to take the stone. Once it fell into my hand, I placed it in my back pocket.

  “Though you are a fledgling mage, many demons or mischievous spirits will try to take advantage of this.  I have seen many unprepared face them and the outcome is never pretty. Always remember to use caution in the fade.  What might be a dream for a warrior or a rogue is always a test for a magician.”  _ Way to be a team player and spoil naps forever, dude. _  With that, Solas remarked that we’re done for today and to expect him at first light.   _ Great, him waking me up AND Cullen doing drills…   _

_   This is the part where I yell ‘no’ at the sky, right? _


	4. Josephine

  By some manner of coincidence, one of Leliana’s runners approached me just after Solas left.  He looked like every other scout, and I couldn’t pick out any details of his face since he wore the Inquisition helm.  By the time he found me, he was out of breath. He then told me:

  “The lady ...ssador…  to see you… her office…  right away, Lady ...ereld.”  It was difficult to pick out his words as they were muffled by breath and the echo of the metal.  But nonetheless, I picked up the gist.  _  Josie wants a chit-chat. _

  “Yeah, okay.  I’ll go right now.”  The runner bowed and darted off to report to Cullen.  While trying to stifle a billion yawns, I began to trudge to the Chantry; the ice cold trudge in which I speed-walk as fast as I can.

  Thankfully, those giant doors in the front aren’t just for show.  The inside is much warmer than the Frostbacks outside.  _ Maybe they have some kind of central heating?  Like with magic or something? Or are there fireplaces in every room like I’ve read in books?  Just how does all this work? _  While I slowly walk the halls, staring either at the tapestry, the details in the carpet, or nodding at passing servants or Chantry sisters, I approach Josie’s office.

  “The Inquisition cannot remain, Ambassador, if you can’t prove it was founded on Justinia’s orders.”  I hear a man arguing through the heavy door.

  “This is an inopportune time, Marquis. More of the faithful flock here each day.”   _ Ah, right, this is that conversation!  Isn’t this the part where the Inquisitor walks in?  Do I go in now, but I don’t wanna be rude and interrupt… _  After shuffling with my hand hovering above the knob, I slowly push open the door.

  Both the Marquis and Josephine were startled at my entrance, but the Ambassador quickly reclaims her composure.  She smiles and gives a deep nod toward me. I can only manage a shy smile and small wave of the hand. The Marquis simply bristles at me, huffing and crossing his arms.  If Josephine noticed him do that, she didn’t act like it. Instead, she places the clipboard briefly on her right forearm to gesture to my entrance with her left hand. 

  “...But allow me to introduce you to the brave soul who risked her life to slow the magic of the Breach.”  Just as quickly as she recovered the clipboard is back in her left hand and she’s prepared to start writing again.  “Mistress Hawking, this is the Marquis DuRellion, one of the Divine Justinia’s greatest supporters.” What I wanted to do is be polite and say “Hello.” but I got cut off before I could get a letter out.

  “And the rightful owner of Haven.”  Mr. DuRellion says for anyone listening. “House DuRellion lent Justinia these lands for a pilgrimage. This ‘Inquisition’ is not a beneficiary of this arrangement.”  I can only blink, startled, as this guy in a starched outfit stares down the nose of his mask at me.

  “I- uh, what-”  I get cut off again.  However, after his glaring at me is deemed sufficient, he turns to Josie and speaks only to her.

  “My wife, Lady Machen of Denerim, has claim to Haven by ancient treaty with the monarchs of Ferelden. We were honored to lend its use to Divine Justinia. She is… she was a woman of supreme merit. I will not let an upstart order remain on her holy grounds.”

_   At least ten years ago Haven was a myth- not even on the map.  Only because Genitivi wanted to chase a rumor he found this place- then I found him.  If no one knew about it, how can a family have a treaty about the land?  _

  “Erm, if I may, sir?”  I manage to squeak out.   _ Right, don’t be meek, just say what you want to. _  “Because of Haven’s status as a holy ground, wouldn’t it be logical for the Chantry to hold authority over it?”  Mr. Frenchy-French guy is furious at the notion.

  “Haven is the DuRellions’ rightful property!”  He says, making me flinch at the volume. The Ambassador is writing something down as she speaks.

  “ _ Has _ Empress Celene officially acknowledged your possession of Haven?”  This simple question deflates all the blister DuRellion had left.

  “The Empress… has not yet had the opportunity to do so.”

  “We face a dark time, Your Grace.”  Josephine continues, now having both the floor and his undivided attention yet again.   “Divine Justinia would not want her passing to divide us. She would, in fact, trust us to forge new alliances to the benefit of all, no matter how strange they might seem.”  He attempts to remain dignified, holding his head high, chest out, and shoulders back. 

  “I’ll think on it, Lady Montilyet. The Inquisition might stay in the meanwhile.”  And Marquis DuRellion strides out the room, shutting the door strongly behind him.

 

  “Erm,”  I now mumble, turning to Josephine.  “...Do those guys have a legitimate claim or what?”  She gives a little smile and jots some more notes while speaking.  _  Just what is she writing? _

  “His Grace’s position is not so strong as he presents it.  Despite their Ferelden relations, the DuRellions are Orlesian.  If the Marquis wishes to claim Haven, Empress Celene must negotiate with Ferelden on his behalf.  Her current concerns are a bit larger than minor property disputes.”  _ Yeah, that sounds about right.   _ I don’t know much about the Civil War, but I do know Gaspard and Celene are all out fighting each other.  

  “At least we’re not getting evicted.”

  “His Grace is one of the first of many dignitaries we must contend with.”

  “First of many?”  I repeated. Granted, I know it’ll happen with the Inquisition and all, but the thought of having to actually deal with these nobles suddenly just hit me in the face.  Josie just smiles and nods as she walks to her desk.

  “Undoubtedly. And each visitor will spread the story of the Inquisition after they depart. An ambassador should ensure the tale is as complimentary as possible.”  When she sits, her gold and blue dress flutters a bit underneath her. The sleeves seem kinda stiff- they haven’t moved much- but that might be the bubble thingy she’s got going on.  The gold isn’t as shiny as in-game but, honestly, why would it be? I keep wondering if it would feel like high-end cloth or costume fabric. 

_  Wait, why am I thinking about her outfit, I still don’t know why she asked for me earlier. _

  “So, I was actually called here by a messenger, saying you wanted to see me for something?”

  “Ah, yes!”  She exclaims, clasping her hands together.  “Forgive me, it slipped my mind earlier, your Worship..”

  Josephine Montilyet starts flipping rapidly through papers until she finds what she was looking for.  “I was wondering if you have a free moment to tell me about yourself. After all, as part of the Inquisition, we are going to be working together frequently, and I wouldn’t like to be strangers.”  She dips the quill in ink and begins to write as she continues. 

  “Many of Haven and Thedas know little about you and it would be a benefit to dispel as many disagreeable rumors to your image as possible.”  

_   What rumors?  Do people think I’m a ghost or something? _

  “My...image?”  I can only blankly ask.  

  “Well, there has been talk of your admitting to coming from somewhere other than Thedas.  Some faithful believe you were sent to us by the Maker to seal the Breach, others think you originated in the Fade or could be a Demon.  There’s even a few fanatics who think you traveled through time from our future- though there isn’t such a thing as time travel.” Josie says the last bit with a laugh.  I can only chuckle along for a different reason.  _ Oh if she only knew. _  Josie taps her chin with a finger, humming in thought for a couple seconds.  

  “Other than the- what some think more practical- rumor that you stuck your head during the attack on the Conclave, that’s all that comes to mind.  If you could tell me more about yourself, I’ll have a statement made that should, at least, dispel the idea you’re a danger to the world.”

  “If you need info on me, Varric asked me a lot of questions earlier.  I’m sure he’d pass on the info if needed.” Josephine just shakes her head at the idea.

  “Varric Tethras as an author has a reputation for exaggeration.  I’d much rather hear the information from the source, as it were.”   _ Oh yeah, because of Varric’s tales in Dragon Age: II, there’s some rumors that Hawke uses the Arishok’s skull for a gravy boat.  I can see her hesitation in asking. _

 

  “Alrighty then.”  I nod before settling into the chair in front of her desk.  “What do you need from me?”

  “Well, to start with, what was your life like before the Breach?”

  “Erm…”  I wonder how to answer her question.  Does she want my whole life story? A quick summary?  The most recent events?

  “Are you part of a noble house, or…?”  Josie the hesitated, waiting for me to answer.

  “Oh, I’m, uh, just a commoner?”  I half-mumble the words, all of my little medieval knowledge has left me at the moment.  

  “You are literate, are you not?”  

  “Yes, I can read and write, in Common, I guess.  I know a little French, too. Err, Orleasan, anyway.”  

  _Admittedly, it’s crap French where I can remember the word for library, plus how to say: ‘I don’t understand’ and ‘I only speak English’.  I bombed French 3 in High School and forgot every lick of it. Heck, the only class I’ve ever failed besides FFA. I only remember panicking silently during the midterm and thinking I’d fail school and become a hobo.  But I omit all that for Josie. Not like she needs to hear all my ramblings about my life._

  “Thank goodness,”  She says, “...you had me worried for a moment.  Having to learn a new script would only add to your stress, I image.  Have you had any other education in your life?”

  “I was going to college before I got here.”  She smiles and nods, part of me wishing I could take a screenshot, but I can’t, can I?

  “What was your area of study?  Theology, I presume?” I shrug and shake my head.

  “Well, no, I still haven’t found out what clicks with me.  I was just getting my basics done.” She nods again, this time in understanding.

  “My sister, Yvette, is going through the same struggle.  She’s had many different interests that change with each year.  Currently, Yvette has taken up painting.” Josie then pauses and frowns to herself.  “...Though she has yet to finish one.” I nod rapidly.  _ Something I know all too well. _

  “Now, about where you’re from…”  Josie says, letting the words trail off.  “The fact you’ve been so open about being from somewhere other than Thedas has many people uneasy, to say the least.  To quell the threat of frightened devout who would like your head, I have a few ideas on how to smooth things over. Firstly-”  My mind is whirring so much I end up cutting her off

  “Hold up- Err, I’m sorry, but- ‘devout who want my head’?”  Josephine slowly shakes her head yes.

  “People are frightened of what they don't understand.  Thedas is shaken because of the Breach, the Mage-Templar War, the death of the Divine, and now you.  Some people think you’re... unnatural and that you should be subdued at all costs.” I can only sink further into the chair as I process that.

_   People want to kill me.  For how long? How many so far have tried?  Is it all of Thedas? Haven? _

  “I am sorry to be the one to tell you, Herald.  If you want a silver lining- many are too frightened to even attempt to hurt you, so the threat to you isn’t astronomical.  Leliana has already taken liberties to remove those in Haven who posed the most danger.”  _ Oh goodie, Priestess Stabbity is on the case. _  Josephine continues from where I cut her off.  “We can either contact a noble house to accept you into their family by adoption or marriage or make up a backstory for you based on you having amnesia.  There is also the option to remain open about your situation, but I would personally advise against it.”

  _I really don’t want to become nobility and I don’t want to make something up.  I doubt I’d get the details right all the time and things might spiral out of control quickly.  I made the decision_ to _be honest about everything. I need to stick to it._

  “I want to remain honest about being from another world.”  Josie looks startled and nearly drops her quill.

  “Are- are you quite certain?  The faithful want to kill you because of your claim and you would not do anything to soften their fear?”

  “Well… I want to be honest.  I’m not familiar with nobility or their customs, so it would be obvious I was taken in as a cover.  If we were to go with amnesia, I’d have to remember some sort of lie. I’m an honest person by nature and I’d end up blurting out the wrong thing, which might land us in more hot water.  So, I’m just going to stick with what I’ve already said. If I’m able to show the people the Inquisition is here to help and seal the Breach I ought to be able to show I’m no threat and want to help.”  Josie sighs and runs her fingers through her hair, then moving to tap at her desk, her long manicured nails hitting the wood with a ‘tap’.

  “It will take time to work a piece to help explain your predicament to the people…  But I would not have taken the position if I wasn’t ready for a challenge. I shall be open about your situation, your Worship.  You have my word.”

  “Thank you, Lady Montilyet.  I appreciate it.” She shakes her head and smiles while beginning to write.

  “Please, you may call me Josephine.  Now if you’ll excuse me, I have some drafting to do.”  I stand up to take my leave, pushing the chair back when a thought occurs to me.

_   I have nothing to do.  At all. Aside from Solas’ training and waiting around for word from Mages and Templars I have nothing to do.  It’s not like in the game where I can ‘boom’ go to the Hinterlands. And since Josie has her hands full, maybe I can do something to help. _

 

  “Actually, Josephine, is there anything I can do to help?”  Her head pops up from the papers at her desk, eyes wide with confusion.

  “I… you want to help?”

  “Yeah!”  I nod emphatically.  “Like, I dunno, deliver papers, help out with letters, or scribe stuff.  Just, something?” She starts to shake her head back and forth.

  “But your Worship, you don’t need to do that!  There are plenty of servants and messengers under our command.  You needn’t trouble yourself with such matters.”

  “It’s just, I want to feel useful.  I’m just here since I have this mark and I don’t like mooching or taking advantage of the Inquisition’s hospitality.  I want to give back, earn my keep, help out in some way. We’re only a fledgling organization and I’m skilled at writing and reading.  There must be something I can do. I don’t like just standing around. I feel… useless.”

  “If you feel that strongly about it, I won’t turn down an offer of aid.”  With that, Josie turns to a pile of papers on a bench beside her and pulls a few from the stack.  “These are various papers I need signatures on. Some are requisitions, orders, and etcetera. If you could go get the signatures I need and bring them back to me I’d be grateful to you.”  She now starts scribbling at a blank sheet while mumbling to herself. I quietly wait for her to finish. I can see she’s writing a list, though I can’t read from this distance or upside down.

  “There!”  She says, her quill going off the page with a flourish.  She rolls up the parchment and hands it to me. “Here is the list of those I need the papers to go to.  The names are in order of the stack from top to bottom, with the number of papers beside their names.” I un-roll the sheet and take a quick glance.  The names and their numbers were written in a small, elegant hand that made my handwriting look awful in comparison.

 

_ Cullen Rutherford  x5 _

_ Leliana x7 _

_ Varric Tethras x6 _

_ Quartermaster x2 _

_ Solas x3 _

  ...and the list of names continued to the bottom.  I roll the parchment back up to glance at a waiting Ambassador.  Next, I’m handed a stack of papers that weigh about as much as a bundle of printer papers.

  “Sure, not a problem.  When would you like this back by?”  She gives me a hand wave.

  “You don’t need to rush yourself.  So long as you get the list done within the next few days, that would be perfect.”

  “Okay then.  I’ll get on it.”  She beams at me.

  “Thank you, your Worship.  You’re too kind. Now, if you’ll excuse me.”  I take my cue to leave. I hold the stack against my chest with my right arm, the list in my hand.  Before I make it to the door, Minave stops me. I completely forgot she was there. She must’ve heard the whole exchange.

  “Excuse me, my Herald.  If you’re going out on deliveries, would you mind sending this to Harritt?”  She holds a tied bundle of papers and artifacts. “It should help him about what sort of metals to use to give our soldiers an advantage.”  I shift the papers around so they’re flat and allow Minave to place the bundle on top. 

  “Yeah, I’ll take care of this right away.”  She nods to me respectfully.

  “You’re very kind, ma’am.”  I sort of feel odd at the compliment.  I’ve never been called ‘ma’am’ before. 

  I nod to Minave and finally turn to open the door.


	5. Cullen

  Giving Harritt Minave’s research package was easier than I thought it would be.  As soon as I approached the blacksmith’s area, one of the assistants banging on a sword noticed me.  He dipped it in water, causing a puff of steam to rise.

  “Can I help you miss?”  He speaks in a thick British accent, but I guess it’d be Ferelden here.  I can’t tell how old he is. The boy is tall and slightly lanky, with the muscles beginning to fill out, no doubt from all that hammer swinging.

  “I have a package for Harritt from Researcher Minave.”  I take the bundle she gave me from my stack of papers and grasp it by the string.  “Is there someone I can give this to or is there someplace I can set it?” The assistant extends his hand, covered in a thick leather glove.

  “I can take that off your hands, miss.  We’ve been waiting on it for days now.” I quickly pass the bundle to him, and the boy tucks it under his arm.  “Is there anything else you need?” I shake my head quickly.

  “No, just the delivery.”  He gives a nod and wipes his brow with his free hand, but ends up smudging his face with soot from the glove.  I nod in return and start to leave, but he stops me with a tap on the shoulder.

  “Are you a new scout or something?  Never seen your like in Haven before.”  I pause.  _ Do I just go out and say ‘What’s up, I’m your new Herald!’?  Nah, I don’t really feel like it. _

  “A volunteer. I’m just here to help the Inquisition in any way I can.  My name’s Catherine.” He gives a smile, he teeth seem much whiter against the soot on his face.

  “Good to meet you.  Name’s Rolf. I was apprenticed to a blacksmith in Denerim before the Breach.  But after the Conclave, I decided to make myself useful here.”

  “That’s admirable.”  I tell him, not sure what else to say.  “Look, I won’t keep you from your work anymore.  Gotta finish deliveries myself.” He looks a little surprised but gives a deep nod anyway.

  “Of course, miss.  Pass on our thanks to Minave.  Come find me if you ever need any work done.”  With that, Rolf turns to find Harritt, who’s leaning over another man on the bellows, talking about something.

  “Will do.”

 

* * *

 

  As I walk to the training area, I hear a familiar yell over the clang of swords.

  “You there! There’s a shield in your hand. Block with it. If this man were your enemy, you’d be dead.”  I can see Cullen walking back and forth among his line of soldiers, watching their training with a keen eye.  He stops at a man at the end of the line, who was also watching. “Lieutenant, don’t hold back. The recruits must prepare for a real fight, not a practice one.”  The Lieutenant salutes him and slowly goes back the way his boss had come. Cullen now stands by himself, looking over the entire yard. I can’t tell if he’s proud of his fledgling army or worried we’re short staffed.  Or could it be part of his withdrawals and he’s just staring into space? Regardless, I have stuff to give him and I don’t know how long I have until someone else grabs his attention. With a deep breath, I walk towards him.

  “Excuse me, Commander?”  Cullen’s head whips around for the voice before spotting me approaching him.  “Hi, uh… I’ve got some papers for you? From Josephine?” His eyes widen a bit in confusion before he knits his brows together.

  “I- you what?”

  “Some papers.  Josie needs your signature.”  I hold the number of papers out to him, which he takes and starts to look through them.  Since he isn’t looking at me while he concentrates on the stack, I take the time to observe him.  His skin is pale with a few scars, most notably the one above his lip. There are bags under his eyes, but I remember something in the game about him not sleeping well.  And that furry cloak/cape Cullen wears looks to me like he’s almost wearing an Ikea rug with a feathered boa. I now start squinting at the cape, wondering how it stays on or where it attaches to his pauldrons when Cullen address me.

  “Did Ambassador Montilyet rope you into this?”  I shake my head at him while rocking on my heels in hopes my feet won’t freeze.

  “No, I offered to help her.”  We then fall into an awkward silence.  It really feels like he’s giving me the cold shoulder.  Like he’s only really tolerating me because of the mark.  I guess with what he’s experienced with Kinloch and my being a mage who everyone thinks is crazy, I guess it’s logical he doesn't trust me.

  “We’ve received a number of recruits– locals from Haven and some pilgrims.”  Cullen suddenly said out of the blue. The Commander inclines his head to the training group.  Watching his head move reminds me of how curly his hair was and how it isn’t as curly as Origins.   _ I guess now I can’t call him Commander Noodle Head anymore. _

  “None made  _ quite _ the entrance you did.”  He finishes.

  “I just hope I can help out, you know?”  Captain Curly gives a nod to me.

  “As do we all. It is enough that you would try.”   _ Yeah, but if I fail the world is doomed… _

  “Come with me,”  Cullen says after I finish my thought.  “I must find a quill.” With that, he begins marching off in the direction of the tents.  My tiny legs have to speed walk to keep pace with his long strides. It feels like Cullen almost towers over me.  And with his hand always on his sword, it doesn't make me feel any better. Initially, the only sound was the noises of Haven and snow as we walked, but I guess Cullen is uncomfortable with silence because he starts talking again without my prompting.

  “I was recruited to the Inquisition in Kirkwall, myself. I was there during the mage uprising – I saw firsthand the devastation it caused.”  I only give a quick ‘Mm” in reply, only half agreeing with him. He phrases it like the mages of the Gallows caused the destruction, but that was only because of Anders’ bomb and Merideth’s subsequent announcement of the Annulment.  The circle mages didn’t do anything- they were just caught up in the waves. Plus, I’ve seen it- I was there too.

  “Cassandra sought a solution. When she offered me a position, I left the Templars to join her cause. Now it seems we face something far worse.”   _ A darkspawn.  We face a crazy talking darkspawn man and his big spicy dinosaur. _

  “With the rip in the dimensional hole, things aren’t exactly the best.”

  “Which is why we’re needed.”  At this point, we’ve reached a large, white tent.  I guess it’s Cullen’s commander tent or something? He moves to the flap and holds it open for me, gesturing with his head for me to follow inside.

  It almost reminds me of depictions I’ve seen of General Washington’s tent at Valley Forge.  In front of us, there’s a desk with a map of the continent with all those little flags and markers from the War Table.  On the left side, near the back of the tent is a bed. I guess the guy’s gotta sleep somewhere. 

  The more I think about it- where  **does** everyone sleep?  There’s that bedroom in the Chantry, maybe Cass, Leliana, and Josie are there?  Cullen’s out here. Varric might be in one of those tents where he sits near. Solas possibly has that cabin.  Bull stands beside a tent near here. Sera is in the tavern…

  Meanwhile, Cullen starts talking again, bringing me out of my predicament.

  “The Chantry lost control of both Templars and Mages. Now they argue over a new Divine while the Breach remains. The Inquisition could act when the Chantry cannot. Our followers would be part of that. There’s so much we can–”  He stops abruptly and clears his throat. “Forgive me. I doubt you came here for a lecture.” I just shrug at him.

  “It’s your opinion.  You’re allowed to speak your mind.”

  “Our people are well-organized and committed. Despite what the clerics may think, we’re in the best position to help.”  Now the Commander sits at the desk and fishes for a quill and ink. He’s opening drawers, frowning, closes one. Another drawer, another frown.  Next one, aha! The ink. Other side, hey look- a feather.

  “There’s still a lot of work ahead.”  He half mumbles as he flips through papers and signs his name again and again.   _ How much work does Josie have him do?  What’s even in those documents? Am I allowed to look?  Is that snooping?  _

  “There,”  Cullen hands the papers back to me.  “That should be all you need from me.”  I try and rearrange the papers I gave him on the bottom of the stack as I follow him out of the tent.  Just as I exit into the glaring mid-day sun, a soldier approaches us.

  “Commander! Ser Rylen has a report on our supply lines.”  Cullen gives me a polite nod as he dismisses the soldier. “As I was saying.  Good day, Herald.” Cullen then walks away to wherever his next report is. When I try to call out to him, to try and say he can call me by my name, Cullen doesn’t turn around.  Either he hadn’t heard me or he’s ignoring me. Grumbling to myself to not take it to heart, I glance at the deliveries I have left.

_ Leliana’s next.  That should be fun. _


	6. Leliana

  I spot Threnn before I reach Leliana’s tent, so I approach her with my deliveries.  The second I walk up to her, she opens her mouth.

  “If you’re here about lyrium trade, speak to Cullen.  I don’t handle that.”

  “Excuse me?”  I ask, half surprised and insulted.   _I know I’m short but come on!_  At this, the Quartermaster looks over me, now spotting the green on my right hand.

  “Oh!  You’re her!”  She takes a moment to compose herself before sticking out her hand.  “Threnn. Inquisition Quartermaster.” I don’t take her hand, only frowning at her.  She simply retracts it and crosses her arms.

  “I have some papers I need you to sign for Lady Montilyet if you’d be so kind?”  I hand out the few I’m supposed to give her. Threnn takes them quickly, turning to the desk beside her and hastily scribbling her name on the lines.  When she turns back to hand me the papers, I decided to ask something that was never in the dialogue wheel.

  “So, do you always say whatever racist comments you want to anyone?”  The shock on Threnn’s face is clear as day. She initially looks at me with eyes wide, then turns to look away as she bites the inside of her cheek.

  “I… well, you see ma’am-”  I raise my hand to cut her off.

  “Maybe you shouldn’t be so rude to people you’ve just met.”  As I neaten the stack of deliveries, she lowers her head. _I wonder if I can talk to Josie about replacing Threnn?  I don’t want to tolerate any kind of racism. If we’re going to restore order, we’ll do so with equality in mind.  But do I even have that kind of clout as a Herald or will I need to wait for however long it takes for me to possibly become Inquisitor?_

  “Yes, your Worship.  It won’t happen again.”

  “Riiight.”  I draw out, not quite believing her.  “Thank you for your time.” I then turn around to find Leliana.  I spot her in the tent a stone’s throw away and walk towards the open flaps.

 

  Inside, Leliana is on one knee before the table, her head bent and hands clasped.   _She’s praying._

  “'Blessed are the peacekeepers, the champions of the just.  Blessed are the righteous, the lights in the shadow. In their blood, the Maker’s will is written.’”  When she’s finished, her head raises and she frowns at the sky above us. “Is that what you want from us? Blood?  To die so that your will is done? Is death your only blessing?” The Spymistress now rises, still angered, and brushes some dirt off her pants.  At this point, I’ve tried to remain quiet, not sure how to approach her. One one hand, seeing her like this is unsettling and a little scary. I don’t want to make her mad.  But having befriended her in Origins, it also hurts and makes me sad. I’m her friend and I can’t do much to help her right now. I can’t even give her a hug. But Leliana must have noticed me because she turns and begins speaking directly to me.

  “You speak for Andraste, no?  What does the Maker’s prophet have to say about all of this?  What’s His game?” _She’s hurting so much right now and I can only give her vague words._  I shake my head while avoiding her gaze.

  “I can’t give you the answers you want.  The only person I can speak for is me.” This makes her scoff as she folds her arms over her chest.  

  “You don’t even worship the Maker.  Lucky. He asks a lot.” I see her glance at the stack in my arms.  “What is it you need from me?”

  “Josephine needs your signature on a few papers I have with me, that’s all.”  She steps closer, a metal gauntlet outstretched.

  “Give them here.”  I do as she asks of me.  She immediately turns from me, her back straight as a rod, as she reads over the reports.  Leliana glances over her shoulder at me standing there, not knowing where to look.

  “The Chantry teaches that the Maker abandoned us.  He demands repentance for our sins. He demands it all.  Our lives. Our deaths. Justinia gave Him everything she had, and He let her die!”  Her right hand is balled into a quivering fist. From this distance, I can’t tell if more than her hand is shaking.  I feel so awful and there’s little I can do to make it right.

  “I’m so sorry.”  Is all I can quietly manage to slip out.  “Justinia’s death has clearly hit you hard.”

  “Not just me.  All of us. She was the Divine.  She led the faithful. She was their heart!”  She continues to speak and I’m not sure if it’s to me or for herself.  “If the Maker doesn’t intervene to save the best of His servants, what good is He?  I used to believe I was chosen, just as some say you are. I thought I was fulfilling His purpose for me, working with the Divine, helping people.  But now she’s dead. It was all for nothing. Serving the Maker meant nothing.” _Oh Leliana, what I wouldn’t give for your light to come back…_

  “Maybe you should talk to someone. Does the Chantry have anyone who could help you?”  My spymaster gives a cold laugh in response.

  “So, I should let a priest comfort me?  No, this is my burden. I regret that I even let you see me like this.”   _No, you’re my friend I want to help you!_  Leliana now signs the papers and walks back to me.

  “It was a moment of weakness.”  She says, cooly. “It won’t happen again.”  I nod to her and begin to turn around. Beside me, one of her agents has entered and hands her another paper.

  “So it’s true. Butler has turned on us.  I hoped my hunch was wrong. I thought I knew him well, but clearly not as well as I thought.  Show me the rest of the reports.” I hear a shuffle of papers as I slowly start to walk away. I can barely hear Leliana now.  I have to strain my ear to hear.

  “There were so many questions surrounding Farrier’s death.  Did he think we wouldn’t notice? He’s killed Farrier. One of my best agents.  And he knows where the others are. You know what must be done. Make it clean. Painless, if you can. We were friends once.”

 _Wait.  This is the part.  The part where if I do nothing she stays hardened and hurt.  I don’t want that. Not for my friend!_  I spin on my heel and march back into the tent without my previous hesitations.

  “What are you doing?!”  Both the agent and Leliana seem surprised at my intrusion.  The spymaster, however now looks me over with a hard eye.

  “He betrayed us.  He murdered my agent.”  I frown more deeply. _I can’t let her slip like this._

  “You can’t just kill him though!”

  “You find fault with my decision?”  I nod stiffly, trying not to crumble under the fear of what she has and might become.

  “Yes.  Yes, I do.  We can’t just solve our problems with murder.  It’s wrong.” Leliana now slightly tilts her head, her lips pursed and arms folded.  She taps her forearm with her right hand, possibly in thought or annoyance.

  “And what would you suggest? Leave him be?”  I shake my head quickly.

  “Butler’s betrayal put our agents in danger. I condemn one man to save dozens. I may not like what I do, but it must be done. I cannot afford the luxury of ideals at a time like this.”

  “No, you need ideals.  If you can’t have ideals during a war, then just how can you live after the war has ended?”  I take a breath and keep talking. “You said Butler betrayed you and your agents, so why do you get the final say?  I think those of your agents impacted by this betrayal should get a say too. Maybe they’ll all agree on execution, or imprisonment, or putting him to some other use.  But everyone has the right to a trial, no matter what they’ve done. Just deciding to kill him without giving Butler that chance isn’t right.” _There.  I’ve said my piece.  Hopefully, it was strong enough to help her down her softened path?_  Leliana takes a few moments to watch me.  I want to shrink away from her, but instead, I meet and hold her gaze, to try and send the message home.

  “You feel very strongly about this.” She concludes.  The agent beside her looks back and forth from me to Leliana.  I watch the Spymistress look up at the sky for a few long moments, muttering something under her breath.   _Another prayer, or something else?_ “Very well.  I will think of another way to deal with this man.”  Now she turns to the agent on her right.

  “Apprehend Butler, but see that he lives.”  The agent salutes her and runs off. Now, it’s just Leliana and me again.  The air between us seems different; like she’s a little mad at me or just frustrated.  She looks me dead in the eyes, a sour look on her face. “Now if you’re happy, I have more work to do.”

  I quickly take the cue to leave.  All that’s left is to find Solas and Varric again and I’ll be done with my task.


	7. Show and Tell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey look, I wrote a chapter using no in-game dialogue!

  I was able to catch Solas and Varric without any trouble.  Asking for their signatures on important paperwork raised a few eyebrows.  Solas didn’t make a comment and simply handed me back the documents. Varric, on the other hand, gave me a little trouble.

  “Are things so bad they’ve got the Herald doing odd jobs?”  At my confused face, he only laughs. “Just messin’ with ya,  Dots.”  _ Hold up, now I’m even more confused. _

  “Where does ‘Dots’ come from?”  Everyone’s favorite dwarf gestures around his face.

  “You’ve got all those moles on your face, it’s hard to miss.  Plus that mark on your neck. Where’d you get that anyway?” He asks.  I look at the sky, it’s almost sundown. I want to finish Josie’s paperwork before then and I’m almost there.

  “Think I could tell you later?  I want to get this done soon.” Varric nods in understanding.

  “I’ll meet you in the Tavern when you’re finished then.  Me and Chuckles will save you a seat.” I nod gratefully to him.   _ I’ve always hated the anxiety that I get when trying to find a seat in the cafeteria.  But I feel better that Varric’s thinking of me. It’s like I’ve made a friend already. I made a friend!  _

  “Sounds good, then.  I’ll see you guys soon.”  Varric gives a wave goodbye and heads off to the tavern down the road.  Soon, however, he stops and turns on his heel.

  “Actually, do you think you could bring something?  I remember when Nightengale was rifling through your stuff, I saw something weird.  Some sort of thin brick? White on one side and black on the other?”  _ My phone.  He wants to see my phone. _

  “What for?”

  “I think if Chuckles gets a better look at it, maybe we can brainstorm how you got here.  Plus, solid proof of what you said should help turn some people around to you.”  _ Oh, if I show off my phone and people see, they might believe me.  Or at the very least I’ll have Varric and Solas believe me. That should be a start. _

  “Alrighty then.  I’ll bring it.” Varric flashes a grin and gives me an ‘OK’ hand gesture.

_   I didn’t know they had those in Thedas. _

  
  


  I knock on the heavy wooden door to Josie’s office and push it open.  Josephine is sitting at the desk, working diligently, and looks up when I arrive.

  “Ah, Herald!  What may I do for you?”   _ She smiles so sincerely it makes me feel so happy.  Almost like a real Disney princess. _

  “I’ve got all the signatures you asked for this morning.”  Her eyes widen a little in surprise and excitement.

  “All of them?”  She asks as I step forward to hand her the papers.

  “Yep!  Got ‘em all today.  Is there anything else I can do?”  Josie flips through the papers quickly.   _ I helped out today, I feel good about that. _  Now she rises from her chair to stand in front of me.  Josie grasps my hands in hers. He skin is soft and she smells like perfume.  She smiles at me again, the edges of her eyes crinkling.

  “You have made my night, I cannot thank you enough.”  And then she hugs me. I wasn’t expecting a hug, at all.  Initially, I’m standing still, unsure of what to do, but I hug her back.  It feels nice, I haven’t felt any sort of contact like this since I got here.  My face is pressed against her shoulder, her sleeves feel as poofy as they look.  She then gently lets go and pulls back, her hands resting on my shoulders.

  “I have been thinking, if you are so adamant about being honest about your situation, that you come from another world, then I shall believe you.”  It takes me a few seconds to register what she said.

  “You’ll believe me?  Really?”

  “Yes.  Being in another world from your own, with no one you know, I cannot imagine how that feels.  You are around the same age as my sister and if Yvette were to end up in your place…” Her hands fall from my shoulders.  Josie wipes her eyes and takes a moment to compose herself. “I would want someone to look out for her. If there is anything you need, Herald, anything at all, please let me know.”   _ I don’t know what to say… _  I can only beam at her.  I hug her again, maybe a little tighter than I should’ve, but I don't care.

  “Thank you, Josie.”  She returns the hug.

  “Of course, your Worship.”

 

  When I enter the tavern, I see Varric has picked out a table in the far corner, tucked against the wall.  Solas sits across from him, drinking something, and seems to be talking, but I can only see the back of his head from this angle.  The dwarf notices me and waves. I weave through the patrons and the tables to where my companions are.

  “Hey, guys.”  I wave a little bit at the two of them before sitting in the chair on the end of the table.  Solas nods to me, finishing a gulp of whatever is in his tankard.  _ Probably ale or beer. _

  “Good that you could join us.”  He says politely. Varric speaks up next.

  “How’d it go with Ruffles?”  I remove my bag from across my shoulder and set it on my lap.

  “I gave her the papers.  She was happy.” The dwarf nods to himself.  I notice a pad of paper and a quill with ink ready on his right.   _ He wants to take notes. _

  “So, about those dots on your neck, the sort of square?  What is that?” Solas murmurs something in agreement as he takes another swig.  

  “I have been curious about those as well.”   _ Huh, so the mage noticed too?  When did he? _

  “It’s a birthmark.”  I tell them. Both look disbelieving.

  “No!”  Varric grumbles while squinting at my neck.  I see Solas give me a side glance.

  “Truly?”  I frown, unsure if I actually explain it they’d believe me.  But everyone thinks I’m crazy for the alternate dimension thing.  Might as well throw myself into the frying pan.

  “Well,”  I subconsciously run my fingers over the tiny bumps.  “It’s more like a surgical scar. I got it as a baby the night I was born.”  They each look surprised and all the more intrigued.

  “What did you do to get that, Dots?”  I wait for Solas to finish taking a drink to speak.   _ I don’t want him to choke if he gets surprised. _

  “I was born three months early due to complications.”  Both are staring at me, quiet. “After I was taken out-”

  “Taken out?”  Varric parrots with more confusion in his voice.

  “Like, a c-section.”  He murmurs something and settles back in his chair.   _ I remember that type of birth was mentioned in Macbeth, so they should be familiar with it, right? _  “I was placed in an incubator and had to have some surgery to keep me alive.  One was a feeding tube that went down my neck since I couldn’t process food yet.  That’s what it’s from.” I notice Solas is looking at my scar more openly than before.

  “Interesting.”  Is all he comments on after a few seconds.

 

  Now Varric looks around at the other patrons for a second.  No one has noticed us in this dark little corner.

  “Did you bring it?”  He asks, voice a little lower than before.  “The brick?”

  “Yeah, I did.  More than the ‘brick’.”  I add, now plucking the purse on the table.  It’s a small bag, only one compartment. It’s made of fake leather, with the ‘Legend of Zelda’ symbol on the front.  I figure it would fit more in this setting that, let’s say, a modern backpack. Plus, it helps in case someone tries to pickpocket me and they can’t nick my phone from my back pocket.

  I now pull out the contents in front of the two men.  First, my wallet, my keys, my iPod, two pairs of earbuds (in a tangle as usual), and the ‘brick’ Varric wanted to see: my phone.  The two of them stare wide-eyed at the stuff in front of them. Solas is the first to speak up.

  “May we examine your items?” He asks, his hand close to my wallet.  I nod to them.

  “Go for it, just give me my stuff back when you’re done, okay?”  Both of them nod before picking up my stuff. Solas goes for my wallet and pops it open.  I watch his fingers trace the magnet clasp on the front before he shuts and reopens it again, testing the magnet.

  “What is this?”  He asks me in wonder.

  “It’s a magnet.”  I reply. “I forgot how exactly it works, but one of them has the positive side, the other the negative.  And that makes them attach. Keeps my wallet shut.” He nods deeply a few times while clasping and unclasping the front of my wallet.

  “Fascinating.”  He breathes. To my right, Varric is examining my keys and lanyard.  He’s frowning at the design on the chord, which is a Vocaloid one.

  “Just what am I looking at?”  He half mumbles to himself.

  “It’s a cartoon.”  I supply. He looks at the design again,  his face pursed in confusion.

  “Okay then.”  Varric says as he sets the keys down and picks up my phone.

  “Be careful with that.”  I say quickly. “Don’t drop it.”  Before the dwarf has to time to ask why I add:

  “It’s important to me.”  Varric then gently begins turning the phone over, eyeballing it like someone would a diamond.   Solas, to my left, has now been pulling out everything in my wallet.  He holds my credit card in between two fingers like you would a playing card.

  “What is this, Catherine?”  He asks me. I can see some kind of curiosity in his eyes as he examines my stuff.

  “It’s a credit card.  Lets me buy stuff and pay later.”  Next, he holds up my debit card. “Same thing.” I tell him.   

  “Hey, Dots, does this do anything?”  Varric asks, handing back my phone. I nod to him and hold up a finger. 

  “Gimme a sec, I’ll boot it up for you.”  Both men look at each other, confused.

  “‘Boot it up’?”  Varric asks. I hold the power button for a sec and the phone vibrates and the screen lightens up.

  “Turn it on.”  I hear both of them go ‘Oh’.  Now Solas is examining my ID. He turns it around in the light, looking it over.   _ Is he reading all my personal information? _

  “Is this a painting of you?”  He asks me. I lift my head up from my phone after inputting my passcode. 

  “It’s a photo.”  Solas’ brows knit together.

  “‘Photo’?”  I open up the camera app and adjust the camera light settings so it picks up the dim corner we’re in.

  “Here, I’ll show you.”  I tell them as I hold the phone up.  “Smile!” I hit the camera button. The phone makes a small click, but thankfully, I didn’t have the flash on.  I then open up the gallery to look at the image.

  I was able to get both Varric and Solas in the same shot.  Both men are facing me with confused looks on their faces. As I examine the picture, it hits me just how real everyone looks here.  Sure, Inquisitions graphics are pretty realistic, but there’s still something about the game that says ‘This isn’t a person’. Here, I can see every freckle on Solas or the reflection of light in his eyes.  I can see the strands of Varric's hair that don’t clip through his coat anymore. It’s almost like looking at really detailed costumes, but they’re people. I could reach out and poke them if I wanted.  _  I’m not in Kansas anymore. _

  Suddenly, I feel a touch on my arm that jolts me from the thoughts.

  “Are you alright?”  Solas asks, looking at me with concern in his eyes.  He’s set the wallet down now, all items back in their place and the flap closed.  It clicks in my head he’s touching my arm. I can feel him. He’s a real person. I can feel the callous in his palm.  How his fingers lightly grip my forearm.

  “Sorry,”  I mutter. “I’m fine.  Just… thinking is all.”  Solas gently removes his hand. But still looks at me, almost sadly. 

  “Anyway, here, take a look, guys.”  I turn the phone around to show them.

 

  To say they were shocked is an understatement.

 

  “What the shit?!”  Varric almost yells but keeps his voice quiet anyways.  He stares in shock at the image and blinks a lot like he’s trying to wake himself up.

  “Ar tel’eolasa…”  Solas slips into Elven in shock.  He’s leaned away from the phone, one arm on the back of the chair, the other gripping the side of the table.  His eyes are wide as dinner plates.

  “This is a photograph.”  I start to explain the best I can to them.  “It’s not a painting. Using light and the lens on the back, the camera on my phone took an image of you two and re-created it in the device.  It uses pixels to do it, kind of like little tiny boxes of color, to make up the image.” Solas now settles back into the chair and leans closer.

  “May I… see your device?”  I nod and hand him the phone.  He takes it gently like Varric did, but this feels like he has a reverence or fear about him.  Varric now has a thousand yard stare as he looks back and forth from my stuff, to my phone, and to me.  The dwarf finally laces his fingers together and places his forehead against them, lost in thought. Solas, meanwhile, has started to poke the screen with his finger.  He jumps a little when his touch brings up the photo menu but quickly regains himself. He now stares at the screen, unsure of what to do. He meets my eyes and points at the phone in his hand.

  “Just what does this do?”

  “Here, I’ll show you.”  I get out of the chair to stand beside him, leaning onto the table.  “This has a touch screen, which means you just use your finger. Do you want to look at other pictures or see what else is on my phone?”  He thinks for a minute, frowning.

  “I suppose other images.”

  “Alright.  Push that arrow in the upper left-hand corner.”  Solas does so, the screen now showing my different photos.  “Press the arrow again. Now you just poke the album you want to look at.”  The elf taps his chin in thought and finally decides to click on my ‘Photography’ album.  The first image he clicks on is one I took of a Jurassic Park billboard in Florida. Solas seems quite confused at the dinosaur and looks to me for an explanation.

  “That’s a dinosaur.  Like a dragon without wings or fire.  That one is a Tyrannosaurus Rex.” He gives a nod.

  “How to I change the image?  I saw many on the… previous page.”

  “Just drag the picture to the left.  That will change it.” Meanwhile, Varric looks up from his contemplation.

  “Well… shit.”  Varric mutters.  “You’re not… kidding, are you?”  He asks in a quiet, sober tone. Now that I have Solas taken care of, I move back to my seat.

  “No.  I come from a different dimension than Thedas.  One where your world is fiction for me. I don’t know how I got here or how I ended up at the Conclave.”  Varric nods slowly.

  “I believe you, Dots.  Not even I could make stuff like this up.”  The mage now gives me back my phone, holding it out in his hand.

  “Thank you.”  He says as quiet as Varric.  “Where did you find those images?”

  “I took them, just like I did the photo of you two.”  He settles back in the chair, absorbing the information.

  “You have quite the eye.”  He finally says.  _ Huh, Solas just complimented me.  That was neat.  _ I start putting my things back into my bag.  I leave my phone out, in case either of them wants to look at it more.  “Can your device show more than pictures?” Solas asks.

  “Yeah, it’s primary use is to call or text people.”  They look confused again, so I just keep explaining. “Like, if I wanted to talk to Varric, but he was in Kirkwall and had a phone, I could just call.  Texting is like, an instant message.” They each are staring at the phone now.

  “What else can it do?”  Varric asks, starting to sound a little less shaken.

  “Well, I could play music?”  Solas’ eyes light up with curiosity again.

  “Music?  From that?”  I nod and open up the music app I have.   _ I have an idea that should definitely get them to believe me if there’s any doubt left. _

  “Hey, what song is Maryden playing right now?”  Both of them now look to her at the other side of the tavern, strumming a lute.  Varric rises in his seat, craning his neck. Solas just twists around in his seat.

  “I believe she is performing ‘Maker.’”  Solas says after a few seconds pass. I flip through to the correct album.   _ Good thing I bought this. _

  “Uhh, one sec,” I say before clicking the song.  “Before I do this, can you both promise me not to freak out?”

  “Just go ahead, Dots.”  Varric says to me, Solas hums in agreement.  I click on ‘Maker’ and it starts to play. I have to turn the volume up a little so they can hear.  Both of them lean closer to the phone as the song plays.

  “ **_Maker, have you left me here?  Temple, Sacred Ashes._ **

_   **Tragic mark upon our lands.  Sky fall.** _

_   **Let darkness reign on Thee**. _ ”  My phone sings.  Both companions are almost as stunned as when I showed them the photograph.

  “Is that...Maryden?  In there?” Varric asks, gesturing with his hands.

  “No, it’s a recording.  Like I said, where I come from, this is all fiction.  These songs were written and performed by other people.  I bought the rights to download the songs and play them for myself.”

  “Do you have other songs on that?”  Solas asks. I pause the song and close out of the app.  I have to stop myself from laughing at his question. 

 “Yes, but I don’t know how you’d react to them.  Most of the types of music haven’t been invented yet.  I don’t want to freak either of you out more than I have.”  I lean back in the chair and cross my right leg over my left.  “So, I’ve shown you ‘the brick’. I hope that’s proof of what I’ve been saying.  What happens now?” I ask the two of them. They each frown to themselves, Varric tapping at the wood.  Solas starts to take a drink of his forgotten mug but makes a face after a sip.  _  I guess it got warm or something?   _

  “Do you remember how you arrived here?”  Solas asks, a pensive look on his face. I shake my head sadly.

  “No, I don’t remember a thing.  All I know is I was falling asleep in bed and then I woke up in the dungeon.”

  “And you recall nothing in between those events?”

  “Whenever I try, there’s just nothing there.  Almost like it never even happened.” Varric gives a short laugh.  I hear Solas give an amused one into his mug while he sips. His laugh sounds echo-y coming from the tankard.

  “Well, it definitely did happen.”  Varric says and starts point to each of us in turn.  “I was there, Chuckles was there, you were-” He stops himself before starting again.

  “Well, you were out of it, but I know I saw the soldiers carrying you.”  Solas nods in agreement.

  “Indeed.  By the time I was called to examine you after your discovery, you already possessed the Mark.”  Solas says, crossing his arms and leaning back in the chair. “You were unconscious for most of the time.  I remember at one point you started to waken. But before I could explain myself, you passed out again upon seeing me.”  Varric starts snickering in his corner while Solas takes another drink, scowling at the dwarf.

  “Find something amusing, do we, Master Tethras?”  The author manages to get out the sentence in between wheezes for air.

  “I didn’t know you were drop dead gorgeous, Chuckles, not even my chest hair could make Dots faint on the spot!”  Varric keeps laughing at his own joke, even clapping his hands together like a seal. Solas makes a kind of ‘hmph’ sound and drains his tankard.  I now stare at the table as Varric’s laughter dies down.  _  I’m just glad Solas and Varric believe me.  But what about…? _

  “Guys!”  I smack the table after my realization.  I made Solas jerk a little, he glances from my hand to me in confusion.  I swear I saw Varric jump a little in his seat. “What do we do about Cassandra?”  The three of us start to exchange glances.

  “Well… shit.”  Varric grumbles his trademark line.  Solas’ frowns have increased.

  “Do we just… keep this a secret?  I have a feeling we’re all going to be around each other a lot.”

  “She’s bound to find out eventually.”  Says Varric, starting to run his fingers through his hair.

  “I think we should show the Seeker your phone.”  Both me and Varric turn to Solas.

  “Huh?”  I can only manage to squeak out.

  “Are you kidding me?”  Varric blurts. “You know the kind of lady she is!  She’ll probably stab that thing on the spot because of demons or whatever.”  Solas’ face remains stoic as he gives his response.

  “True, but if Cassandra sees the phone in Catherine’s possession, perhaps it shall convince her as it has the two of us.  Were she to catch anyone else with it, she may destroy it. Since Catherine has stated she wants to avoid losing other’s trust in her, if Cassandra is kept in the dark, that will likely happen.  If we show the Seeker now, she will have more time to come to terms with the truth.” Both Varric and I glance at each other.

  “I can’t argue with that.”  I tell them both. “So when should I show her?”  

 

  Solas now rises from his seat, looking serious or gung-ho, I can’t tell which.   _ Maybe the alcohol is getting to him? _

  “Now.”  He says, beginning to gather his things.

  “Now?  As in: right now?”   _ Why does he want to go now? _

  “Of course.”  Solas says, hands on his staff.  “As I said: we must show her as soon as possible.  To do so later may lead to avoiding the problem.”  _ Unfortunately, he’s got a point. _

  “Oh boy…”  I mutter to myself while strapping on my bag.  “Let’s hope my phone survives the encounter.” Solas now gently places a hand on my shoulder.

  “I shall be with you.  The Seeker may not believe you without a witness.”  I give the elf a nervous smile.

  “Thanks, Solas.  It means a lot.” He gives a nod in return, then turns to Varric, still in his chair.

  “Are you coming, Varric?”  The dwarf sits there, frowning to himself.  The longer he sits in silence the more wired Solas seems.  “Well?” He asks again, his foot tapping. 

 

  Finally, Varric gives a huff and puts on his coat.

  “Just so you know, I’m only tagging along because Dots needs help.”  He pauses before putting on a small smirk. “And I want to see just how the Seeker will freak out.”  With that, he starts to head out of the tavern. Before Solas moves, I lightly tap his shoulder. The elf turns a little to me, his eyes reflecting the lights around us like a cat’s.

  “I wanted to say, I never got to thank you properly for taking care of me while I was knocked out.  So, thank you, Solas.” He gives a calculated look for a moment; like he’s again trying to figure me out.   _ Does he question if I’m being sincere or not? _  Finally, his features relax into a grateful image.

  “You are welcome, Catherine.  Come, we must go.” 

  With a nod I follow the tall elf out of the warm tavern and into the cold, dark night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ar tel’eolasa= I don't understand


	8. Emergency Huddle

  The three of us walk slowly in the dark.  The snow underneath our feet is icey and crunches with each step.  Varric, Solas, and I are walking down the steps to the main gate and then out to the training grounds, hopefully where Cassandra is.  As my luck would have it, she sits in front of a tent, sharpening her blade with a whetstone. The metallic scraping reminds me of a monster, which makes me want to turn around and run.  But Solas’ hand is on my back, guiding me forward. I have nowhere to go **but** forward.  By the time we reach her, she’s stopped sharpening her blade.

  “Hello.”  Cassandra says in a neutral tone, looking at each of us in turn.  Upon seeing Solas and Varric, who were still shocked by my technology, she frowns.  “What is the matter? Has something happened? Why are you both so pale?” Varric clears his throat.

  “Catherine has something you might want to see, Seeker.”  Now Cassandra sets her blade and stone down, standing to her full height.

  “Well,”  She says as she crosses her arms.  “What is it?” My fingers scramble to open the music app again, turning to the Inquisition soundtrack.

  “I’m not crazy and I can prove it!”  I blurt out. _It’s dark, I’m cold, and Cass is highly intimidating, and thus, I panicked._  Cassandra just looks highly confused and frowns at each of us.

  “What is the meaning of this?”   _She’s asking a lot of questions today._

  “What Catherine means,”  Solas says, giving me a slight look of disapproval. “...is she may be able to prove to you that she does come from another world.  Show her.” With Solas’ command, I hit the play button.

        “ **_Once we were in our peace with our lives assured,_ **

**_Once we were not afraid of the dark_ **

**_Once we sat in our kingdom with hope and pride_ **

**_Once we ran through the fields with great stride._ ** ”

 

  Cassandra stands mute as she stares at the rectangle in my hand.  As the music plays, she cautiously approaches, taking it out of my hands.  She gazes at the screen for a few moments, listening intently.

          **“** **_We hail the Fade and the demons flight_ **

**_So far from our children and from our lives_ **

**_We hail, together, the fragile sky_ **

**_To keep our way of life._ ” **

  Her eyes widen like the other two’s had.  Her mouth drops open slightly, unsure of what to say or do.  

 

   Then she gives a yell of fright and tosses my phone out into the snow.

 

  “NO!”  I scream into the dark, blindly running and diving after my phone, my one reminder of home.  The song continues to play as it sails in the air. _Cassandra’s got an arm._ I think to myself dryly as I pray I can catch it, but I see it headed for the ground.  When I start to wince and expect to hear the phone crack, it stops dead, hovering in the air, then gently landing in the snow with a ‘plop’.  I get up off the snow and turn around. Solas has his hand outstretched, a blue light coming from his palm. I mouth ‘Thank you.’ to him and retrieve my phone.  I sigh of relief when the screen is undamaged. _Just some snow.  It’s okay._  The song is still playing, so I shut Maryden up with the pause button.  She stops midway through the word: homeland.

 

  Meanwhile, Cassandra just stares after me.

  “What in the Maker’s name is that thing?!”  I walk back over to them and start trying to explain to her as best I can.

  “Look, where I come from, Thedas is-”  But I’m interrupted by a familiar someone.

  “Just what’s going on here?”  It’s Cullen. At this point, he’s walking towards Cassandra, blinking the snow from his lashes.  “I heard a cry. Lady Cassandra are you al-” Cullen stops mid-sentence after seeing my hands.

  “Just what on earth is that?”  Now the Seeker quickly stomps to me and grabs my arm.  I’m now roughly pulled to stand in front of Cullen. _He’s much taller at this perspective._ Solas and Varric mutely watch from the background.

  “Show him.”  Cassandra demands in a shaken voice.  “Show him what you showed me.”

  “Seeker, I don’t-”  But now it’s my turn to interrupt Cullen.  I start the song yet again.

    **“** **_...land with strength and might_ **

**_Once we were not afraid of the night._ **

 

**_We hail the Fade and the demons flight_ **

**_So far from our children and from our lives_ **

**_We hail, together, the fragile sky_ **

**_To keep our way of life._ ”**

  I honestly expected Cullen’s reaction would be to whip out his sword and stab me in the gut.  Instead, Cullen has this blank stare on his face. Just watching the phone and listening as the guitar fades away.  When I pause the music, he just keeps staring into space.

  “I don’t know what’s going on here and I don’t believe I want to.”  Cullen says in a flat voice before turning around and starting to just walk away.  Cassandra, having none of that, easily turns him around, seeming to snap him out of his stupor.  All while holding onto me, still.

  “Get Leliana and Josephine.  Tell them we’re holding a meeting.  Now.” Cullen gives a nod to her.

  “Right away, Lady Cassandra.”  And then the Commander walks briskly up the stairs to the Chantry.  The Seeker hasn’t let go of my arm yet and now addresses Solas and Varric, who haven't moved.

  “You both are to come as well.”  After that, she determinedly starts to speed walk and I get the fun, new experience of getting dragged around by my arm.

 

  All the advisors and Cassandra are in their usual place at the war table.  Cassandra to my left, Leliana at the left end, Cullen across the table from me, and Josie stands to the right of him.  Solas and Varric are also in the room, both of them in the corner. If I look hard enough I can see them out of the corner of my right eye.  The door has been locked behind us. No one is going to be interrupting this meeting.

  “I assume there is a good reason you’ve called us here, Cassandra?”  Leliana says underneath her purple hood. I see Josephine's head dart around the room, just as confused.

  “Is everything alright?”  She asks Cass, who shakes her head and turns to me.

  “Show them.  Play the song.”  Thankfully, she’s not holding onto my arm anymore.  With all eyes on me, I pull out my phone and set it on the table.  I end up placing the phone on the bottom of the Ferelden map, onto where Ostagar was.

  “What I’m going to show you all is proof I’m from another world.  Where I come from, Thedas is fictional. I’ve got music here that Maryden sings in the tavern, right here on my phone.  Please, I need you all to believe I’m telling the truth.” I hit the button and a different track starts to play.

**“ _I feel sun through the ashes in the sky_**

**_Where’s the one who’ll guide us into the night?_ **

**_What’s begun is the war that will force this divide_ **

**_What’s to come is fire and the end of time._ ”**

   Most of them stand around confused.  Solas and Varric seem more used to the idea than the others.  Cassandra still stares as though she can’t decipher what she’s seeing.  Cullen just frowns as he stares down my phone. Leliana just stands there, hands behind her back, looking stoic and unmoved.  Josie’s eyebrows have shot up, a hand brought to her mouth as she, too, looks in in wonder at my phone.

        **“** **_I am the one who can recount what we’ve lost_ **

**_I am the one who will live on._ ** **”**  I now pause the song and glance around the room.  The silence feels heavy as they all process what they’ve just seen and heard.  I drum my fingers on the heavy table, waiting for someone to say anything. That’s when Cullen starts talking.

  “Did you think we’d actually believe any of this?”  He scoffs and glares at me, his hand on the hilt of his blade.  “Play a few songs and that would clear everything up?” He slams a gauntleted hand into the table to make his point.  The templar insignia is plain to see. _You can take the Templar out of the Chantry but you can’t take the Templar out of the man._

  “You’re mad and cannot be trusted!”  His brown eyes glare at me from underneath his disheveled blond hair.  He has deep circles under his eyes from lack of sleep. The look is so intense I take a couple steps back from the table.  “I will not be fooled by some fledgling mage flouting the word of the Maker. If you had no mark, I’d have you tossed out for this ridiculous stunt.”  Josephine also steps back from him, her shock very clear.

  “Cullen!  How could you say such things?!  She’s a girl!” Cullen turns to her, looking very, very angry.

  “She’s a **mage**!”  He just about snarls the word.  Cullen continues to fume while he glares at my phone.  We all grow silent while the Commander thinks of something to say.  He’s quieter this time. “The Chant says there is one earth, one sky, one Maker.  There cannot be anything else…” He now clutches his head in his hands and keeps repeating the same phrases again and again.

  “I can’t… I can’t… This just… How could?  I need… I need air…”

  Cullen now moves past Josephine to make his way to the door.  I quickly stick myself to the wall, now closer to Solas and Varric (who have been really quiet this whole time) than Cassandra.  Just before he opens the door, the Commander shoots a glare at me before yanking the door open and slamming it shut with a boom.

 

  Before everything grows silent again, Josephine moves to where Cullen was standing.  She turns her head and signals for Varric. Solas, and I to step forward, which they reluctantly do so.

  “Now, Catherine, you said earlier that Thedas is fictional in your world?  How so?” I take a deep breath and brace myself on the table.

  “I’m not entirely sure how to tell you all.”

  “Take all the time you need.”  She tells me. I silently drum my fingers on the table and let the words pour out.

  “What I’m about to say cannot leave this room.  I’m telling you all because I trust you. Where I’m from, Thedas is called ‘Dragon Age’.  Basically, it’s a trilogy of interactive books. I chose what race the Warden is, their gender, class, what they say and do.  I chose the same for Hawke. The decisions I made for the Warden and Hawke match up with the history of your world. I guess the simplest way to word it, is I’m both the Hero of Ferelden and Hawke.”  I guess there’s been a lot of shocking stuff tonight because their faces change very little.

  “Is this some sort of joke?”  Cassandra asks me, her voice very quiet.

  “No, it isn’t, I swear.”  I turn to Leliana, who’s been watching me for a while now.  “Leliana, you traveled with Fenrir, you know him. Let me prove it.  Ask me something you told only to him.” Now all eyes turn to her expectantly.  I see her tilt her eyes downward for a moment before fixing her gaze back to me.

  “What kind of shoes were in fashion in Orlais during the Blight?”   _Right, I remember this conversation.  Her shoe bit._

  “The style was a tapered heel with something on the front.  An embellishment like embroidery or a ribbon. It was spring so the color had to be soft.”  The rest of the table looks utterly confused. Cassandra and Varric display it the most obvious.  Josephine seemed to be confused as to how I knew about the fashion. Solas didn’t show anything in his face.  He was just listening intently. When I finish I look back to Leliana, who now wears a soft, tiny smile for a brief moment.

  “Well done.”

  “Varric!  Your turn.”  I now turn to my right to ask Varric the same thing.  He looks a little startled at finally being talked to.

  “Huh?”  He says with the same confusion a kid being woken up in class would have.

  “Ask me something only Hawke would know.”  The dwarf places his head on his fist, thinking.  I can hear his boot tapping rapidly.

  “What was the name of his dog?”   _Pfft, that’s easy._

  “Cat.”  I hear Cassandra go ‘Uggh!’

  “Cat?  Really?”  She scoffs.  Now Varric settles back a little bit, now putting on more of a poker face.

  “Do you know why?”

  “I don’t know about the actual reasons, but I named the dog ‘Cat’ because Gamlen kept calling the mabari ‘Dog’, despite Leandra telling him that mabari are intelligent and you need to use their names.  So I called him ‘Cat’ because I thought it was funny.” Now Varric leans forward, more in his element.

  “Admittedly, Cat wasn’t the dog’s real name, but after a year in Kirkwall that became the official nickname.  Based on the conversation you just described.” He gives me a wink. “Good job, kid.” _Booyah!  I did it!  I really did it!_  Now Solas is the one to pipe up.

  “You said this series is a trilogy.  What is the third about?”

 _Uh oh!  I need to be careful what I say here.  If I say I know everything that will happen, that might alter both Corypheus's’ plans and Solas’.  I need to keep things on track. I can’t let anything derail too much. But especially Solas. I can’t have the Dread Wolf go running off before the Breach is even sealed so he can enact his genocide explosion._  I gesture around me with my hands.

  “This is the third installment.  What’s happening right now.” Now the shock comes in again.  I hear some audible gasps from Cass and Josie. Both Solas and Varric look startled to say the least, most notably Solas. _I’ve got to backpedal quickly or he’ll start to suspect me._  “However, I don’t know as much as the previous two.  I only know what will happen up to when we seal the Breach.  But that’s only the halfway point. After that, I only know the outcomes of some critical missions and not much else.  Besides, my being here could mess everything up regardless of what I know.” Josie now tilts her head to the side and furrows her eyebrows slightly.

  “How does your presence change things, Catherine?”  I noticed Solas and Varric look much more relieved now.   _They think I don’t know._

  “It’s like if you tried to go back in time and save Andrastre from getting burned alive.  You might succeed in saving her, but if you go back to your time period and the Orlesian Empire has taken over Thedas.”  Varric frowns.

  “Can you clarify that, Dots?”

  “Bottom line, just by being here I’ve changed things in minor ways.  Depending on what I do, I can either alter things in tiny ways like what people say or completely change what our enemies will do.  Because of this, I can’t explain much of what I know to you. I’ll be able to give information when the time comes, but not before. If our enemies ever got wind that we know what they’re planning before they do it, then all the information I hold is useless and any advantage I give you is lost.”

  Everyone has grown quiet again.  Josie has left the clipboard on the table.  Varric leans on the edge and stares into the grain of the wood.  Solas looks pensive as he twirls the staff in his hands. Cassandra and Leliana both share a look that I don’t understand.

  “What is going to happen next that you may tell us?”  Leliana finally asks. I pause and bite the inside of my cheek, wondering how much I should omit.

  “The Templars and Mages won’t speak to us.  Mother Giselle will want to meet with me, so I and others go to the Hinterlands to gain a foothold for the Inquisition.  There, Giselle will give a list of clerics who would be willing to gather in Val Royeaux and so we head there next.” At this Leliana can only give a deep nod.

  “Then we shall see when word arrives if you are telling us the truth.”  She now gives a sigh. “This has been a puzzling turn of events. This meeting is dismissed.  I shall discuss this later with you all. You are free to go.”

 

* * *

 

  I’m the first to duck out of the war room.  My first impulse is to get away from everyone.  It’s been pretty stressful so far and I have to wonder if all that I went through to get Solas and Varric in my corner has been destroyed.  I start to try and make my way to my cabin, but Varric stops beside me.

  “Some meeting, huh?”  I can only nod.

  “Yeah.  Some meeting.”  Now he frowns to himself and starts to talk, and I don’t know if it’s for me or himself.

  “I’m honestly not sure what to make of you being the Warden and Hawke thing.  But after today, I really could use a drink.” I can only nod again.

  “Just don’t overdo it, alright?”  He gives a quiet laugh.

  “Sure kid.  I’ll do my best.”  And then Varric starts to walk to the Tavern before he disappears behind the tents.  I hear a cough behind me. I see Cassandra once I turn around, who approaches me when she has my attention.

  “About Cullen…”  She starts to say.  “I know what he said today was… harsh.  But you must be aware he is going through a difficult time of his own.  Sometimes, he is not in the best mindset or mood. He may say things like he did in the meeting, but give him time to trust you.”  She places a hand on my shoulder. “I would not let him hurt you.” I give her a few quick nods. _Right, Cullen is trying to get off Lyrium.  That explains a lot. He’s going through withdrawal._

  “I’ll try not to hold what he said against him, Cassandra.”  She gives me a rough squeeze.

  “That is all I ask.”  Before she leaves, she stops again and looks a little sheepish.  Not much, but vaguely.

  “I am sorry for throwing your… your… that… that thing you had?”

  “My phone?”  She makes an ‘Ah-ha’ expression after I say the word.

  “Yes, the phone.  You startled me. I was not sure what to make of the situation.”  I hold up my hands in surrender.

  “I should have been more clear about what I was trying to tell you.”

  “Of course.”  She says before giving a wave.  “Good night, Herald.”

  
  Cassandra leaves down the path the Varric went.   _Maybe she’s going to talk to him?  Or does she need a drink herself?_  Behind me, I hear one more set of footsteps approaching me.  I put on my best Solas impression.

  “I suspect you have questions?”  I say, trying to match the infection he had at the end of Trespasser.  Solas stops beside me, looking out at the sky.

  “That would put it mildly, yes.”  He says dryly. _Ha-ha!  How does that feel, Dread Poodle?_   _Wait, if I just quoted Solas to himself based on what he’ll say later, and if he does say it later, have I created a loop of some kind? Like would he say it because I just said it, but I only said it to him because he said it to me.  Now I’ve just confused myself._  “I have many, many questions.”  Solas says, turning to face me.

 “I wish to know more about your world.  Your technology is incredible. Those images I saw were astounding, I have never seen its like before.”  The elf starts to talk more, his excitement getting the better of him, it seems.  “If you have that kind of portable device with you, I would love to see what else your world has created.  And-” I raise my hand to cut him off.

  “One thing at a time Solas.  Cool your jets.” He makes a confused face.

  “I beg your pardon?”

  “Calm yo’self, dude.”  He looks even more confused at the slang.  I grumble and sigh. “Solas, chill okay? I’ll answer your questions later, but right now I need to sleep.”  Solas gives a respectful nod and steps back.

  “Of course.  I shall see you at dawn.”   _Wait, dawn?  Why? Oh, right!  Mage training! Duh!_  I start following him down the path since we’re going in the same direction.

  “Wow, I completely forgot about that until just now.”  I see a corner of Solas’ mouth twitch up.

  “Do not think because of these revelations that I shall go easy on you, Catherine.”

  “I didn’t think you would?”  Now he stops at the change in the path.  He goes left and I go down the steps.

  “This is where we part.  Do you still have the rune I gave you?”  I pat my back pocket for it.

  “Yep, I got it.”  He looks pleased.

  “Good.  Place that under your pillow to ward off demons.”  He now gives a quick smile again. “I look forward to hearing about your experience in the Fade tonight.”  I nod to him. _Right, the Fade is like Disney World for him.  I imagine he’s interested since it’ll be something I’m not used to._

  “I’ll give you a dissertation on it tomorrow, Professor.”  Solas’ face contorts a little at the joke. He gives a huff of annoyance and rolls his eyes a bit.

  “Mm-hm.”  He mutters before turning to leave.  

 

_But I know I saw the smirk he was trying to hide from me._


	9. Who Am I to Disagree?

  I stare up at the Breach in the sky.  It’s edges dance like a green whirlpool in the air.  Whenever it begins to expand, the mark on my right-hand flashes to life and it burns.  The Seeker Cassandra and I begin to climb a mass of steep steps. We’re making our way to the first rift to test my mark, in hopes it could close the Breach for good.  I still don’t know what to make of anything happening. It’s all a whirl and I just want to go home.

  “We’re getting close to the rift.  You can hear the fighting.” Indeed, I can hear the shrieks of demons and clang of blades in the distance to my right.

  “Just who’s fighting?”  I gasp out, the number of steps have winded and beaten me.

  “You shall see soon.  We must help them.” Cassandra has reached the top and now waits for me.  When I make it to her a few seconds later, she dashes off to a small ruin, where a giant green rift in space is flaring about.

  There’s around six demons total in the small space.  A couple Inquisition scouts are slashing at the creatures with blades.  Cassandra moves to assist a taller man, wielding a staff.  _ That’s got to be Solas.  Oh god, I’m going to be talking to him.  And I can’t say anything that might make him distrust me.  I can’t let him know what I know. _  Unsure of what to do, I grab a sword that was left on top of a nearby crate and jump into the fray.

  Everything feels chaotic.  Almost everyone or thing is constantly moving around.  I can feel some kind of energy ebbing and flow from the rift that’s only a few feet from me.  One second I’m scanning the area trying to figure out where Cassandra is and the next there’s a terrifying noise too close to my ear.  A shriek is one inch from me, now bearing down its claws to attack.

  My breath hitches as I scurry backward.  The blade shakes in my hand and I can’t bring my arm to move at all.  The creature only keeps moving towards me, so I continue to step back.  Only now I’m pinned to a crumbling wall and its hands are raised to strike.  Scared for my life, I throw out my hands to try and maybe push it back. I hear it scream again and feel an intense heat.   _ Solas must have defended me with a fire spell. _  The shriek has moved away from me, clawing at the flames on its body, and changes its target.  When I try to find Solas in the crowd, his back is to me and has been using ice magic.  _ Then how did that fire...no...no it can’t be. _  I see Cassandra looking at me with wide eyes.   _ Did I do that?  Does that make me a mage? _

 

  All I can do is stare at my hands, completely baffled.  My brain whirs and panics as my brain tries to process everything.   _ I can use magic.  I ended up in a video game.  I don’t know how. I just want to go home.  I just- _  Then I’m stopped by a hard grip on my right wrist and a yank that pulls me closer to the rift.

  “Quickly!  Before more come through!”  Solas yells as he thrusts my hand to the edge of the rift’s pull.  A green flash busts from my arm and creates a beam. There’s a sparking noise that gets faster and faster the longer I hold the beam to the rift.  I can feel my energy flowing out of my hand, only getting more and more the louder the noise gets.  _ I think I feel sick… _

  In a second there’s a pop and the rift vanishes into flakes of green ash.  With the connection gone, my hand goes limp. If Solas wasn’t still holding onto me, I’d have collapsed.  The elf now lets go of my wrist. He was holding on so tight I can see a red mark on my skin. My fingers are flexed out and I can feel my hand almost on beat with my pulse.   _ Does the mark throb? _  I stare down at the sort of green tattoo and try to relax my hand.

  “What in the…”   _ What is going on here?! _

  “I did nothing.”  Solas now says, giving a little nod.  “The credit is yours.”

  “You mean this.”  I mutter, flicking my wrist.   _ At least I’ve played through the tutorial enough times to have this memorized.  And I know exactly what he’s going to- wait… hold on. Something’s wrong.  _ The closer I look, everything here seems almost saturated and colorful.  The light shines almost too brightly, like a permanent lens flare. There are no ambient sounds except for whoever is talking.   _ It’s unnerving. _

  The more I look at Solas, he’s not acting normal.  His eyes are darting around a little too much and I can see the excitement in them.  He’s almost trying too hard to be casual. I can see him trying to look around at other things, but his gaze keeps going back to me like he’s waiting for something.  And there’s something about his posture. I can’t put my finger on it, but something feels off about him.

  “Whatever magic opened the Breach in the sky also placed that mark upon your hand.  I theorized the mark might be able to close the rifts…”  _ Blah blah blah, I already know this part.  Why can’t I skip to the end of this? I’m already getting bored.  Wait, somehow this all feels familiar. Way too familiar. Almost like I’ve gone through it once before- not in just the games.  Wait a second… _

  “...that have opened in the Breaches wake-”

  “I’m dreaming aren’t I?!”  I scream out, my voice making only a minor echo.  I look around me to see if anything has changed because of my revelation.   _ I am dreaming.  This has already happened.  I’m just replaying a memory.  I’m in the Fade, I guess. _  Both Cassandra and Varric have stopped moving entirely. Like they got paused.  The scouts that were fighting earlier have vanished from the area. Solas, meanwhile, gives a cough and continues speaking whatever his line was supposed to happen before I cut him off.

  “...and it seems I was correct.”   _ No, this is wrong.  Solas never does anything before he finishes that line, why would he cough?  And the fact he paused for so long… Cass and Varric are paused like a video game- so why can he still work? _

  “You’re you, aren’t you?”  I ask him. He only chuckles at the suggestion.

  “Was that a serious question?”  He asks, saying the line he’s only supposed to say if I ask if Varric works with the Chantry.   _ He looks like he’s trying really hard not to burst out laugh.  _  He hasn’t even said the line he says after Cassandra- who’s mute and paused.

   “No, you’re  **you,** you!”  He laughs again, much to my annoyance.  “This is the Fade. I’m dreaming, I know it.  You’re bluffing!” I now jab a finger in his direction.  I can see him subtly move because of it. Now Cassandra and Varric have vanished.  So has the ruin we were fighting in. I can see in the distance behind Solas a green fog beginning to swirl over the snow.  

  “You’re being inconsistent.  You said your first line only because you did in reality, but I haven’t said anything that would prompt you to say it.  Cass and Varric stopped moving once I became lucid- so how are you still moving, huh? Plus, your face is different- you’re not acting like a guy who’s desperate to close that dumb vortex up there!”  I point up to the Breach with my thumb before continuing. “You’re also holding way too still like you’re trying to be…”  _ Crap, what was the word?  _  “Like, not conspicuous.  Solas, you’re as conscious as I am, aren’t you?”  The elf takes a step closer and gestures to himself with his hand.

  “My name is Solas, if there are to-”   


  “Oh, will you can it!  I’ve already called you by your name twice and you introduce yourself after?  I’ve already called your bluff, you liar. You can’t hide in plain sight anymore.  Heck, there’s nowhere  **to** hide, everything's gone and turned green!”  All around us is a green mist. The ground seems rocky and a muted brown or grey.  It’s just like the Fade in the character creator at the beginning of Inquisition.  _ Of course it looks like the Fade, it is the Fade!   _ Now he acts completely different.  Solas scrunches up his face in confusion and surprise.

 

  “I had expected you to remain unaware of my presence.”

 “Like I said, you being inconsistent is what tipped me off.  Plus you weren’t hiding it too well. I could see your excitement in your face.”  He gives a sort of ‘Hm.’ noise and begins to look at me more quizzically.

  “What I am most curious about is how you’ve changed the Fade itself.”  I look around me, it’s still all green mist.

 “Isn’t this what the Fade looks like though?”  He tilts his head from side to side a little while holding his palms out.

  “Well, yes, but usually mages remain in their dreams while they sleep.  You just slowly disintegrated what was built up around you simply by becoming aware.  It almost seems...” He trails off, his brow furrowing while he continues to stare at me.  “Have you always been able to manipulate your dreams thus?” I kind of shrug at his question.

  “Sometimes, anyway.  Like, ninety-percent of the time I’m lucid and know I’m dreaming.  Most of the time I can change things in my dreams when they don’t make sense.  Only a few times have I completely changed what I was dreaming about. Typically I just watch and see what happens.”  He nods a few times while I talk, still frowning to himself as much as ever.

  “You seem to possess some qualities similar to a Dreamer, though I find it perplexing.  Dreamers are a rare form of mage that-”

  “Yeah, they can go poke inside people's heads and kill them or make them go bonkers.  I think they can also manipulate the Fade really well and pop in an’ out.” Solas honestly seems surprised.

  “That is the short of it, yes.”  He agrees. I now wave my hand with the mark at him.

  “Does this have anything to do with this whole Fade manipulation?”  Solas approaches me and starts to examine my hand. He turns it over a few times, studying the pattern of the mark itself.  He keeps muttering to himself.  _ Considering he’s the one who made it, maybe he knows.  Or what if I’ve changed how it works in some ways? Would he be honest about knowing what it does or is he going to fake it? _

  “Perhaps.”  Solas finally concludes, letting go of my hand gently.  “How well were you able to manipulate the Fade in your world?”  I shake my head back and forth.

  “There’s no Fade where I’m from.”  Solas now looks like I just told him his favorite TV series got canceled in the middle of the season.

  “No… Fade?”  He murmurs, his eyes unable to look away from me.

  “No Fade.  Dreaming where I come from is just a brain thing.  I forgot how it works, but I know there’s rapid eye movement involved.  But we don’t go to an alternate dimension when we nap.”

  “Are there spirits?  Demons?” I shake my head yet again.

  “Not unless you believe in them.  I haven’t seen any myself till I got here.  There’s also no magic either. Unless you count the slight of hand stuff or sawing someone in half.  There’s some people who believe magic is real, but I’m not one of them.”  __

 

_   I think I just ruined this poor man’s life. _  Solas stands there silently, just looking off into the distance.  It takes him awhile before he speaks. All I could catch was something very quiet and probably in Elven.  After a few seconds, he looks at me again, his face looks pale.

  “Regardless of this… revelation, the mark likely amplifies whatever your natural abilities were.  Here, it seems, you have the uncanny ability to fully manipulate the Fade around you. You do not appear to have the strengths of a fully fledged Dreamer.  However, I feel your otherworldly nature makes you a target for possession nonetheless.”  _ Right, I keep forgetting that’s a thing. _  Solas continues to speak.  “Currently, we stand in the raw Fade, where a demon or spirit could attack at any moment- depending on its nature.  It is not wise to remain here.” 

  Right before my eyes, a bright light shimmers in Solas’ left hand.  The light starts to change its shape, elongating in his grasp. Then, all of a sudden, he’s holding a staff that came out of thin air.

  “Come, we must leave.”  He picks up his staff and begins to walk away from me.  Following his instructions, I stick close to the elf as he begins to stroll easily through the green mist around us.


	10. The Hinterlands

  The cart Varric and I are riding in comes to a stop.  I can see a forest of pine trees, the sunlight breaking through the needles.  Over the sound of swaying branches, I can hear a bustle of activity outside.  _ We must be at the Hinterlands already. _

  I follow Varric’s lead as he hops down onto the grass.  The second the two of us are out, the soldiers that came with us start unpacking the boxes we’d been using for chairs.  I can see we’re in the Inquisition camp close to the Crossroads. Varric starts to stretch his arms out and twists his neck a bit.

  “I’m sore, Dots.  How ‘bout you?” He asks, now hosting his crossbow, Bianca, onto his back.

  “I’m fine.”  I shrug, being used to plenty of Florida road trips that would take a couple days at most.  The dwarf blinks in surprise.

  “We were on the road for three days and you’re fine?”  I nod.

  “I’m used to long trips like that.”   _ Not that slow though.  Cars are way faster than a contingent of soldiers on horseback plus a wagon. _  Varric shakes his head back and forth.

  “I’m starting to think you might be crazy after all.”  I can’t help but snicker as Cassandra and Solas walk up to us.  I give a wave to the two of them.

  “Hey guys.”  Both the adults nod in return.  Cassandra looks ready to go, even though it’s early.   _ She must be a morning person, then. _  Beside her, I can see Solas blinking slowly in the morning sun and he stifles a few yawns himself.  _  I guess egghead’s spent too much time in the Fade.  Wait, if he was on horseback this whole time, how’d he sleep? _ _ Or is he just tired 24/7?  _  While I continue to figure out Solas’ sleep patterns, a woman about my height approaches us.  She wears the same armor as Leliana’s scouts. Her hair is tied up in a complicated knot on the back of her head.

  “The Herald of Andraste. I’ve heard the stories, everyone has.”  She greets all of us with an arm over her chest and a mid bow.  _ Wait, stories… what stories?  I told everyone what I said wasn’t to leave that war room?  Did Varric blab? Leliana?  _  “We know what you did at the Breach.”   _ Oh thank god, it’s just the thing that everyone thinks I’m a holy figure, not the whole I’m an alien bit. _

  “It seems odd for an apostate to be helping out during these times, but you’ll get no backtalk here. That’s a promise.  Inquisition Scout Harding, at your service. I, well, all of us here will do whatever we can to help.” To my left, Varric starts to chuckle to himself.

  “Harding huh?  Ever been to Kirkwall’s Hightown?”  The dwarven scout shakes her head. The light playing on her face shows off all the freckles that span across her nose.

  “I can’t say I have.  Why?” Varric starts to laugh again.

  “You’d be ‘Harding in High…”  At Harding’s confusion and no one else laughing at his pun, Varric stops.  “No, nevermind.” Behind us, I know Cassandra is rolling her eyes.

  “Ughh!”  _  I wonder how many times she says that in a day?  I wonder how many times someone could make her say it in a day?  I should keep a tally. _  I manage a shy wave in Harding’s direction.

  "It’s good to meet you.”  Now the scout’s face becomes more serious.

  “We should get to business.”  She says, motioning for us to follow her.  All I can think of is Mulan at the moment. She begins to lead us through the camp.  The five of us reach an outcropping overlooking the land below. “The situation’s pretty… dire.  We came to secure horses from Redcliffe’s old horse master.” She now points to a small set of buildings in the distance.   _ That must be the farms.   _

  “I grew up here.  And people always said that Dennet’s herds were the fastest and strongest this side of the Frostbacks.  But with the Mage-Templar fighting getting worse, we couldn’t get to Dennet. Maker only knows if he’s even still alive.”  She grows quiet for a few seconds but continues. Now she gestures to the road below us, to her right. “Mother Giselle’s at the Crossroads helping the refugees and the wounded.  Our latest reports say the wars spread there too. Corporal Vale and our men are doing what they can to help the people, but they won’t be able to hold out very long.” Now Scout Harding gives another salute like she greeted us with.

  “You’d best get going.  No time to lose. Seeker, Herald.”  She nods to Cassandra and I before leaving to whatever her post is.   _ Okay, gotta secure the Crossroads, get the horses, find the apostate caches and get blankets for the refugees.  I’ve done this a few times before, I’ve got this. Just hope I don’t get mauled by a bear my first day on the job. _

  
  


_   Update:  My first day as the Herald of Andraste included: running away from the corpses littering the path to the Crossroads, almost crying in front of my fictional wife, and walking into a signpost.  And now I’m hiding in a bush. _

  I knew there was going to be groups of Apostates and Templars fighting each other, but it never really clicked there’d be… actual fighting.  It’s one thing in a video game to click a mouse and hotkeys, to loot piles of ash after the mooks are gone. But now there are actual people hitting each other, screaming, bleeding, and dying.  And I’m hiding in a bush, trying not to cry.

  It was Cassandra who directed me into my leafy sanctuary.  I was instructed to not move, do not make a sound, and absolutely do not fight.  Solas cast a barrier around me before they all jumped into the fray. _It almost feels like I’m wearing a wetsuit, but it’s a shimmery blue._ _It kind of tickles._

  “Hold! We are not apostates!”  I can barely hear Cassandra over the din of battle.  Solas says something in reply but I couldn’t catch it.  I can see Varric’s boots move as he aims for different targets, but that’s about all I can see from my peephole.  To my left, though, I suddenly hear a twig snap under a foot.

  Beside me, a Templar archer is crouched, bow drawn taut and arrow pointed at someone.   _ Is it an apostate?  One of my companions? _  He’s so close I can hear his breathing.  I hold my hands to my mouth to try and quiet my own.  Being crouched down in a small space on the balls of my feet and trying not to be caught reminds me of hide and go seek.   _ Except this is really scary.   _

_   What do I do?  I can keep trying to hide and be obedient to Cass, but what if he spots me?  What do I do then? And what if he hurts someone on my side and I did nothing when I could have?  But what can I do? I have no combat experience. No, I ought to do something! Could I jump on him?  Grab his bow? I’ve used one before, I’m a decent shot. But he’s got a knife on his belt. Do I grab that instead? _  As I keep thinking, I lose my balance and fall on my hands.  Now I’ve snapped a twig. And have the Templar’s full attention.

 

  With my adrenaline beating in my ears, I yell as loud as I can and run at the man.  I jump at the Templar and tackle him to the ground. All I can think to do is keep trying to pin him down, to pull his hair, kick and scream.  I wrap my legs around his waist to hang on while we roll around in the dirt. I’m able to grab his remaining arrows from the quiver and scatter them.  When he reaches for the knife, I start to struggle for it. The sleeve of his right arm ends up getting torn open. Now he’s trying to flip himself over so he can stab me.  I try to elbow him in the back as hard as I can and grab at his right arm. I try putting his arm behind his back like I’m going to handcuff him, so maybe I can grab at the knife.  Only, the Templar archer won’t let go of the knife. Not knowing what else to do, I lean forward and bite down on his forearm as hard as I can. I can taste dirt and sweat as I bite down harder.  The templars cry echoes around us.

  “Kid, roll!”  I hear Varric yell at me.  I follow his instructions and leap off the Templar.  A second later, there’s a shot from Bianca and a bolt in the Templar’s forehead.  A trickle of blood comes down his face and he falls forward into the dirt and goes limp.  I sit there on my hands and knees, feeling my heartbeat pulse like a drum and loud in my ears.  Now Varric approaches me and pats my shoulder. “Dots, it’s over now. We’ve secured the Crossroads.”  He extends a hand to help me up, which I take. Once I’m standing, I almost fall over again.  _ My legs feel like jelly.  _  Varric and I step out to the road and all I can see is carnage.  The Inquisition soldiers have already begun to clean up the bodies.  Even so, there’s still a number of people on the ground, blood all over them, I can see organs spilling on some of the deeper cuts.   _ My head is spinning.  I think I’m going to cry or be sick.  I can’t look! _

  “Dots… you okay?”  I duck my head to stare at the ground.

  “I… I…”  I can only mumble, but Varric seems to understand by my face.  I feel a gloved hand on the back of my shoulder and the dwarf gently begins to guide me somewhere.

  “Not used to it all?”  I nod meekly.

  “I don’t feel so good.”  He pats me gently on the back.

  “We’ll get you settled and you take it easy.”

 

  My old friend guides me to a spot of grass across the roadway from where Mother Giselle is tending to the wounded.  I follow the steps in hopes I might see her, but all the people are obstructed by a high wall and other buildings. I sit down and pull my knees up, resting my head on my crossed arms.  I hear a ‘plunk’ beside me as Varric sits down. He’s taken Bianca off his back and begun to clean and calibrate her. I can see him wiping the blood off his bolts before he places them back in his quiver.

  I can’t stop thinking about all the dead people or that Templar.  I’ve never been that close to a dead body before. I’ve never smelled what burning flesh is like or vast amounts of blood like this.  _  This is awful. _

  “I take it you’ve never been in a battle before?”  Varric asks, still focused on his crossbow. I nod once.

  “This isn’t like at the Breach.  These are… were people.”

  “Yeah, they were.”  He agrees with me. I find myself biting the inside of my cheek and stop myself.  I realize my jaw is clenched a little, too.

  “Hey, Varric, do you ever get used to fighting people?  Taking their lives?” I hear him give a low sigh, tucking his rag into a coat pocket.

  “Well, yes and no.  Sure, I’ve been in plenty of scraps over the years and you get used to knowing what to do in a fight.  After a while you might stop freaking out about it, but do you ever really get used to it? For me, no.  There are times when everyone is haunted by things they’ve done. The more you fight, the more you have to think about, I guess.  Just the way things are right now.” The wind blows around us, the scent of grass is starting to get stronger in this area.

  “...Okay.  I see.” I mutter quietly to myself.  The dizziness is starting to fade, the sick feeling is gone now that the dead have been hauled away.  But I still feel like I killed that man even though Varric pulled the trigger. “This sucks.” I bitterly gripe.  I hear Varric give a short laugh.

  “You said it, kid.”

 

  Varric now rises, Bianca now on his back.  I can hear the murmur of people as they start to emerge from the forest and from other buildings.  I follow Varric suit, slowly rising to my feet. I’m not as shaky anymore and I feel better after talking a little.  I look over at the dwarf and smile at him.

  “Thank you, Varric.  You’re a good guy.” I see him smile back for a fraction of a second.   _ He’s got white teeth for a medieval guy. _

  “Shucks kid, you’re gonna make me blush.”  He gestures me to follow him with a hand. “Come on, Dots, let’s go see how the others are holding up.”  He starts to walk over to Cassandra and Solas, who are watching a couple scouts putting up a banner with the symbol of the Inquisition.  I peer at the lettering on the cloth, confused at all the symbols. It sort of looks like French, but I can barely read it.

 “What does that say?”  I ask out loud. Both Cass and Solas turn around at my voice, each looking slightly startled.  I’ve had a weird quirk where I’m so quiet I spook people either when I talk or just by standing there.   _ I keep forgetting I do that sometimes. _

  “It is a sign this area is under our protection.”  The Seeker fills in. “It is written in the language of the Chantry- Orlesian from the days of old, still in use by the Church and its branches.”  I hear a light bulb go off in my head.

  “Oh, so it’s in archaic French!  But, we’re not the Chantry, though.  How come we’re using their stuff?” I see Solas start to open his mouth to ask something but Cassandra talks first.

  “Those who are familiar with the script use it for formal purposes.  The Inquisition was founded by Leliana and myself, who served the Divine.  It is only natural we use the script.”

  “Oh.”   _ I wasn’t aware there was a language in use by the Chantry other than Common.  But it’s parallel how the Catholic Church used Latin for a long time. Maybe this is that equivalent? _  Another scout comes running up to us.

  “Mother Giselle is ready to speak to you, Lady Hareld!”  The woman gives a salute and runs somewhere else. Cassandra places a hand on my shoulder as I turn to walk to the steps.

  “Are you ready?”  I give her a few nods.

  “Yeah, I’ll be fine.”  Her hand leaves me as I begin to go to Giselle.   _ I know what to do, Cass. _

 

  “There are mages here who can heal your wounds.  Lie still.” Mother Giselle is crouched next to a wounded man on a cot.   _ One of the Inquisition soldiers? _  I can see her white and red Chantry robes are stained with dirt and blood.  Only her bizarre hat remains unscathed by war. Next to her stands a man wearing old Circle robes.   _ I guess that’d be the healer. _

  “Don’t let them touch me, Mother!”  The boy grunts out, clearly in pain.  “Their magic is-”

  “Turned to noble purpose.”  The Chantry Mother gently cuts him off.  “Their magic is surely no more evil than your blade.”   _ Her Orlesian accent sounds much lighter than that Marquis or Duke I interrupted Josie with a few days ago.  Much less exaggerated. _

  “But!”  He tries to sit up, but Giselle guides him back down.  

  “Hush, dear boy.  Allow them to ease your suffering.”  Defeated, he lays there and let’s the mage begin to heal him.  A yellow light shines from the mage’s hand and begins to encircle the wounded boy.  Mother Giselle now rises from her place, brushing whatever dust was on her robes. I take this break in the conversation to approach her.  I clear my throat and try to sound as normal as I can, considering what I got over about five minutes ago.

  “Mother Giselle?”  The woman turns to me, bowing her head and giving me a warm smile.   _ She looks much different than when I played the game.  On my computer that could barely run Inquisition on a good day, she had smooth skin with minimal makeup.  Here, I can see moles and some wrinkles starting to form on her black skin. It never occurred to me she was meant to be older.  I always thought she was maybe in her thirties? _  Regardless, Giselle begins to approach me.  Her hands are folded in front of her. I can hear the cloth of her robe swish as she takes small, even steps.

  “I am.  And you must be the one they are calling the Herald of Andraste.”  I quickly shake my head.  _ I hate being called that and revered like some holy figure.  I just want to be me. I’m still a person! _

  “I’ve never said I was.  It wasn’t my choice.” She gives a quiet laugh.  Not condescending, but almost tenderly.

  “We seldom have much say in our fate, I’m sad to say.”  The Mother gestures for me to walk alongside her. We now slowly walk alongside the wall, as she watches the leaves blow in the trees or the people down below us.

  “So you believe I’m a Herald, then?”  Giselle turns her head to look at me a few moments, then goes back to looking out ahead.

  “I don’t presume to know the Maker’s intentions.  For any of us. But I did not ask you to come simply to debate with me.”  Now we stop at a low section of the wall. It’s barely at my waist, but I’m able to lean on it just fine.   _ These new boots are killing my feet. _

 

  “I know of the Chantry’s denouncement and I am familiar with those behind it.”  Giselle begins to explain. “I won’t lie to you. Some of them are grandstanding, hoping to increase their chances of becoming the new Divine.”   _ Okay, so the not-Catholics are fighting over the right to wear the Pope hat, I remember that.  Too bad none of them have a chance at it. _

  “Some are simply terrified.  So many good people. Senselessly taken from us.”  Now she shakes her head and looks down. Her tall hat casts a shadow that bends over the wall to a treetop just below us.

  “Do you stand with the rest of the Chantry, then?”  I know she becomes an ally, but I’m not sure of what to say here.  Giselle shakes her head at the suggestion, the hat not moving at all, and looks back to me again.

  “With no Divine, we are each left with our own conscience, and mine tells me this: Go to them.  Convince the remaining clerics you are no demon to be feared. They have only heard frightful tales of you.  Give them something else to believe.” Suddenly what Josie told me plays back in my head.  _ The Chantry not only calls me a Heretic but wants me dead.  Period. _

  “So, I’m going to appeal to them?  The same people who want to kill me on sight?”  A small smile plays on her face for a moment.

  “If I thought you were incapable, I wouldn’t suggest it.  Let me put it this way: You needn’t convince them all. You just need some of them to doubt.  Their power is their unified voice. Take that from them and you receive the time you need.”  _ The time I need for what?  To seal the Breach? But they won’t do anything.  The time to ally with the mages, then? _

 

  Now the Chantry mother places a hand on my shoulder.  Her touch is light, but her fingers grasp firm.

  “I honestly don’t know if you’ve been touched by fate or sent to help us, but I hope.  Hope is what we need now. The people will listen to your rallying call, as they will listen to no other.  You could build the Inquisition into a force that will deliver us or destroy us.”

  “What if I don’t want to be a leader?”  She simply shakes her head, giving a sad smile, and retracts her hand. 

  “I will go to Haven and provide Sister Leliana the names of those in the Chantry who would be amenable to a gathering.  It is not much, but I will do whatever I can.” Now the cutscene is done and we both turn to leave. However, she stops and says something new that causes me to stop mid-step. 

  “Another thing, if I may.”   _ I was unprepared for the likelihood of new dialogue.  _  “Many in the Chantry are frightened of you because of rumors you have claimed you are otherworldly.  Perhaps...” Now Mother Giselle takes the time to pause and meet my eyes directly. 

  “Perhaps, if you were to become anew in the Maker’s light, it may convince those who wish you burned to stay their hand.”   _ Wait...become anew?  Like… _

  “Are you trying to convert me?”  I almost balk at the suggestion, now turning quickly to look at her, brows tightly lowered.   _ She doesn’t look like she’s trying to be overly righteous with me.  But of course, having the Herald of Andraste get baptized would probably elevate her status.  Is she grandstanding too, in her own way? And if the Chantry is able to get an alien into their ranks, the Qunari should be no problem, whether converted by force or peace.  _

  “It is only a suggestion.”  She calmly states. “Whether you heed it or not is your own choice.”  I give her a tight nod.

  “I thank you for your advice, Giselle.  I hope you travel safely.” I then spin on my heel and march off to report to my party.   _My life is getting more and more interesting by the second._


	11. Are We There Yet?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roadtrip shenanigans!

  Getting Master Dennet to join our cause was surprisingly easy.  A contingent of our men had already taken care of the wolf problem.  It turns out they’d stumbled upon the lair while out searching for campsites.  A quick letter to Cullen- and by that I mean Josephine- to get the watchtowers set up was all else he needed to be convinced.  Dennet is the second person so far to call me a dwarf. _Whoop-de-do._  Of course, he also dubbed Solas a ‘halla rider’ so maybe it has less to do with me and more with the old horse caretaker.

  As it turns out, the business end of things while in camps falls on Cassandra. _I guess it makes sense, I’m just a figurehead they drag around.  If I couldn’t seal the rifts I probably wouldn’t even be here at all._  I have to kind of laugh though, Cassandra spends most her time writing to the other advisers, sending out orders to be filled, and dodging the Requisition officers.  Every time they tell her: “Requisition for you, ma’am.” she gives her trademark scoff and speedwalks in another direction. _I guess some things never change._  Not wanting to saddle her with all the work, I try to help out Cass with the letters.  The only problem is: Cullen ignores me. All the letters I send him are either addressed to Josie or Leliana, asking them to pass on word.  Alternatively, a letter sent directly to Cullen only for him to send a reply to Cassandra, telling her he won’t take orders from a mage. _It’s at times like this I wish I could punch him._

 

  We’ve all spent a week in the Hinterlands waiting for our next move.  I thought it would be a summons to return to Haven, but no, Leliana’s already taken care of things and we’re to head to Val Royeaux.   _She’s given no word on the fact I’ve told the truth, but maybe she’s trying to see if I’m right about everything.  Maybe she just doesn't trust me?_  

  Regardless of what Leliana thinks of me, we’re on the road again and I’m back in the cart.  Somehow being the Herald of Andraste and having seen a horse five times in my life grants me diplomatic immunity from riding.  Varric, meanwhile, has to ride all the way to Orlais and isn’t letting Cassandra hear the end of it. Varric trots alongside the cart, complaining to anyone who will hear him.

  “I’m telling you, Seeker, I don’t understand why you humans travel like this.”

  “You’ve said so three. Other. Times.”  Cassandra looks like she’s debating on giving Varric a muzzle.  She holds herself tall while she rides; like she’s got a backbone made of steel.  Varric is slouching and looks either miserable or grouchy.

  “I’m not a huge fan of heights.  I prefer, you know, the ground?”

  “I am aware, Varric.”  She sounds like she’s going to grind her teeth to dust by the time we reach Not-France.

  “And this saddle is-”

  “Uggh!”  Cassandra scoffs and spurs her horse to move to the head of the line.  Eventually, Varric stops complaining, ending his tirade with a ‘hpmf’. On the other side of the cart, Solas hasn’t said anything.  He quietly sits there, eyes closed and unmoving. _I can’t tell if he’s drifted off or meditating.  Is he doing a fade thing? Probably a fade thing._  

  “Hey, Dots.”  Varric’s now right beside me, leaning over as far as he dares so he can stage whisper at me.  “I’ll give you three sovereigns if you find out where Chuckles is ticklish. I’ll bet it’s his head.”  I just make a face at Varric.

  “Um, no??  I don’t want to die??” _I kind of doubt Solas is ticklish.  And even if he is, do I really want to find out?  Especially while he’s fade-walking? Hell no! He’ll get pissed!_

  “I’ll throw in two more sovereigns and a cake when we head into the city.”   _Oh no.  Cake. One of my many weaknesses._

  “I don’t know…” _But I could get a cake though.  It’s been weeks since I’ve had sugar and I need it!_  “I get the feeling Solas…”   _Think of the cake!  Maybe there’s chocolate!_

  “He might not be too keen on me poking him.” _But cake!!!_

  “You would be correct on that assumption.”    The elf says out of the blue. _Aww man, I wanted cake!_  Both Varric and I turn our heads to look at him.  Solas still sits in the same position he was, seemingly unaffected by any bumps or movements the cart makes.  The only difference from earlier is one eye is open and watching the two of us.

  “Whatcha up to, Chuckles?  Doing some Fade stuff?” Now Solas opens both eyes and frowns at the question.

  “I was attempting to, yes.”  The elf answers the dwarf in an annoyed tone of voice.  Now Solas begins to twist his neck around and stretch his arms.   _At least he has something to do.  I don’t even have my 3DS so I’m just stuck staring at whatever we pass by._

  “Well, good of you to join us, then!  Dots here has been looking bored for the past hour!”  I fight the urge to roll my eyes at him. _I guess when Varric gets bored he doesn't stop talking._

  “Unless you guys are hiding the fact you’ve already invented video games, what am I supposed to do?”  Now the man driving the cart interrupts our conversation.

  “We’re about to reach the Orlesian border!”  

 

  I try and make myself comfortable on the wooden bench.   _We’ve been traveling for the better part of two days now.  Lord, why aren’t there cars yet?! Or if there’s magic how come nobody thought to make teleportation a thing!  Hey, Solas, how about you get those Eluvians up and running so we can save some time!_

  “Great!”  Varric grumbles at the situation.  “Another two days of this nug shit ‘till we get to Royeaux!”   _Why’s Orlais so big anyways?  But now that Solas’ awake, I might as well talk to him.  If we go back to silence, he might drift off again and I can only stare at grassy fields and muddy hills for so long.  Or Varric might start complaining again. No wonder Cassandra left._

  “Hey, Solas?  Why did you start studying the Fade in the first place?”

  I actually haven't had many conversations with him since Haven.  Most of it has either been advice on our current mission or he attempts to explain the fundamentals of magic, which haven't been going anywhere.   _It's probably because my understanding of the world mostly involves science that makes the idea of magic just so hard to grasp for me._  Solas had also been leaving me alone in the Fade since I caught him. _Either he's being respectful and letting me be, or is watching my dreams from the shadows._  I can tell he still has a lot of unanswered questions about me, but whenever he tries to start a Q &A, we always get interrupted for one reason or another.

 “I grew up in a village to the north.  There was little to interest a young man, especially one gifted in magic.  But as I slept, spirits of the Fade showed me glimpses of wonders I had never imagined.  I treasure my dreams. Being awake, out of the Fade, become troublesome.” Before I can say anything in reply, Varric chimes in instead.

  “And none of your spirit friends tried to talk their way in?”  Solas shakes his head at the suggestion.

  “No more than a brightly colored fruit is tempting you to eat it.  I learned how to defend myself from more aggressive spirits and how to interact safely with the rest.  I learned to control my dreams with full consciousness. There was so much I wanted to explore.” He looks into the distance, a wistful expression playing on his face.   _Is he thinking of happy memories?  Wishing he could go back to his youth?  To his own time period?_  I now cross my legs on the bench, leaning against the side of the cart.

  “Have you seen all of the Fade?”  Now the elf shakes his head.

  “No, eventually I was unable to find new areas of the Fade.”  The dwarf gives a low whistle.

  “And here I thought you’d seen everything in there three times over.” _I can’t tell if Varric is making fun of him or not._

  “How come there were no new things for you?”

  “Two reasons.”  He says while holding up that amount of fingers.  He’s now speaking in a tone that sounds similar to a lecture.  “First, the Fade reflects the world around it. Unless I traveled, I would never find anything new.  Second, the Fade reflects and is limited by our imaginations.” Now he turns to look at me directly, a small smile on his lips.

  “To find interesting areas, one must be interesting.”   _Is he saying I’m interesting or just looking at me?  I can’t tell worth beans._

  “So is that why you’ve joined the Inquisition, Solas?”  He gives a nod in my direction.

  “I joined the Inquisition because we are all in terrible danger.”  Then Solas laughs to himself and adds: “If our enemies destroyed the world, I would have nowhere to lay my head while dreaming of the Fade.”  Now it’s Varric’s turn to laugh.

  “It’s great to know you’ve got your priorities in order, Chuckles.”  The elf snorts at the comment.

  “So what is so important that made **you** join, Master Tethris?”   _I’m beginning to think that Solas uses formalities to express his annoyance with people._  Varric gasps in fake shock and places a hand on his open shirt.

  “Hey, I like to think I’m as selfish as anyone, but I can’t just walk away and let this sort itself out!”  Now he looks at me, his hand quickly clutching the horse’s mane to steady himself. “And I can’t just leave Dots on her own with the Seeker.”   _Aw, Varric!  You do care!_

  “I hope you find what you’re after then.”  I tell Solas while trying to stifle a laugh from Varric’s comment.  Solas looks pleased by the comment; almost like a cat deciding to lay down on a soft blanket.

  “Thank you.”  He says, placing a hand on his heart for a moment.   _Daw, lookit the widdle Loki-copy, he’s such a polite old man!_

_...I am so happy Cole is not here to read my mind right now._

  “In truth, I have enjoyed experiencing more of life to find more of the Fade.”  I make a face briefly to myself. _I’ve never quite understood that.  He just lives his life so his naps are cooler?  Maybe it was easier for him when the Veil didn’t exist?_

  “Whaddaya mean by that?”  Now the elf pauses, taking the time to think.

  “You’ve said before you were attending college.  What did you study?” Solas asks me. I pause. _Is he dodging my question?_

  “Uhhh…..”  I frown and scratch my head.  “Kind of everything, really. I haven’t exactly found what makes me go ‘Oh!’ and instead, it’s…”  I wiggle my right hand back and forth.

  “Kind of like: 'Jack of all trades, master of none, but better than being a master of one’?”  I swear Varric laughs at my description. Now Solas speaks, answering my question.

  “You pursue knowledge and possess a wide range of talents as a result.  Your intelligence is an enjoyable side-benefit. You have chosen a path whose steps you do not dislike because it leads to a destination you search for.  As have I.” _Intelligence is an enjoyable side-benefit?  What does that mean? Wait a sec…_

  “Are you saying, you think I’m smart?”  The elf shakes his head, one of his eyebrows raised in curiosity.

  “No.”  He says with an air of certainty.  “I am declaring it. It was not a subject for debate.”  I can only look at him with wide eyes. I can’t think of anything to say.   _I haven’t known him for long, but he’s already concluded I’m smart?  Is Solas just trying to compliment me to get my guard to lower or does he genuinely mean it?_

  “Do you doubt yourself?”  He now says with a hint of amusement at my slack jaw reaction.

  “Careful, kid!”  Varric says beside me.  Now the dwarf starts giggling to himself.  “I think Chuckles is flirting with ya.” _I… Uh… Wait… I…_

  “H-Huh?!”  

  If my eyes were wide before, they’re about to pop out of my head now.  Solas simply fixes Varric with a stern look. Everyone’s favorite storyteller is now laughing quite hard at my reaction.  I can’t bring myself to look either of them in the eye and start staring at the grain of the wooden cart. I keep glancing at both the dwarf and the elf, my face distorting the more and more I think about it.

 _Yeah, Solas’ voice is nice to listen to, but… flirting?!  With me?! I’m just some tiny thing with poofy blonde hair!  He’s at least double my age! But, wait, he’s like… two-thousand at least.  That means he’s old enough to be my great-great-great-grandpa! Blech! Blech!!_ **_BLECH!!!_ **

  “Aw, poor girl!”  Varric says through his laughter.  “I think somebody’s got a crush on you Chuckles!”  I’ve now buried my face in my hands to try and make the blushing go away. _Someone shoot me.  Just shoot me. In the face.  Please. Right here, in my forehead.  Not my spleen, not my liver, the face!_  I hear Solas scoff.  There’s a shift in weight on the bench, so I assume he’s changed whatever position he’s sitting in.

  “Will you be quiet?”  The elf hisses in annoyance. _I wonder if I fell on a sword right now if someone would notice?  Would that be quick? Anything to get me out of here. I wish I could disappear._

  “You didn’t do this to Hawke…”  I grumble into the darkness of my hands.  I hear Varric’s laughter die down into a series of snickers. _Being Tranquil might be nice right now.  Can’t feel embarrassed if I’m cut off from emotions, can I?_

  “I couldn’t get a rise out of Lach.”  Now I feel him rib me gently. “I’m only messing with you kid.”  I peak out from between my fingers at him, scowling like Cassandra might.  I clear my throat and hope I do her justice.

  “Uggh!”  Now both Solas and Varric start laughing, the latter much louder than the former.

  “That was quite a good impression.”  Solas finally admits. I can now peak up from my hands without turning into a tomato.

  “I, uh…”  I clear my throat to settle my voice after the groan.   _I think I was a little too guttural on that.  How does Cassandra do it?_  “I did some acting in High School.  For fun, anyway.”

  “Can you do more than just the one word, Dots?”  Deciding to entertain them, I change my posture into a more rigid one, my face turning serious as I stare out at the road we’ve traveled.  I try and put myself in her mindset, thinking of how she would say it; running over her accent in my head. I’ve played a new game on DA2 enough that I should be able to quote her.

  “I am Cassandra Pentaghast, Seeker of the Chantry.”  Surprisingly, as I pause to speak again, Varric supplies his in-game dialogue for me.

  “And just what are you seeking?”   _He’s speaking in a much more amused tone than in the original game.  But given the current circumstances, that makes sense._

  “The Champion.”  I can see Varric smirking out of the corner of my right eye.  I can’t help but smile too. _Thank god Cassandra is out of earshot._

  “Which one?”

  “You know exactly why I’m here!”  I grab a dagger out of a nearby crate and start pantomiming Cass’ point the sword at Varric.  “Time to start talking, dwarf. They tell me your good at it.” I plunge the dagger into the wooden bench in front of me.  It sticks with a solid plunk. Both men are quiet for a few moments before Varric starts to clap.

  “That was pretty good, kid.  If the whole Herald thing doesn’t work out, you should go into show business.”  I kind of have to laugh at the suggestion.

  “Yeah, sure.”  I switch back to my American accent.  “Maybe if I get all the clerics to laugh, they’ll be too distracted to chop off my head.”

 

“We’ve crossed into Orlais!”  The driver calls over his shoulder.  I glance around at the scenery, trying to get a glimpse of what the border patrol looks like, but there’s nothing.  Only grassy fields and some wildflowers around us. The only thing different is a wooden post in the distance on the side of the road.   _That’s it?  No border guards?  No toll booths? No showing our passports or getting out stuff checked out?  Just a stick in the dirt?_

_Talk about anti-climactic._


	12. A Day in the Life in Val Royeaux

  I thought Val Royeaux was breathtaking in Inquisition, but it’s even more so in real life.  Unlike the city in the game that consisted of just a market, in reality, the city was much more sprawling.  There were rings surrounding the market at the center, almost like a wheel. In the rings and many spokes were artisan districts, communities, apartments.  The closer to the center the higher the wealth of the citizens. At the center was the market like I expected, but above all was the Grand Cathedral. I could see it looming above the city even from outside Val Royeaux’s gates.  From a distance, it looks similar to Notre Dame, in a way. The closer we get, I can see colorful banners floating in the breeze. I can hear chimes ringing above the noise of the crowd.

  As my companions and I make our way through the main spoke, the people begin to notice us.  What starts as curious glances turn to puzzled looks, which then lead to gasps of shock. The crowds of people in front of us quickly thin as denizens either head into their homes or stand to get a look at us.  I can see mothers ushering their children inside, some street vendors trying to close shop as fast as they can, the local guardsmen eyeing us as we pass. Cassandra pays none of them any mind and marches forward with her head held high.  Solas is similar in that he gives them no attention of his own, but is doing his best to draw as little to himself. Only Varric and I and watching other the people. _I get the feeling these folks are scared of both the Inquisition and myself._

  Now our group reaches the main bridge into the market.  The stone has become increasingly nicer, going from grey bricks to white.  Underneath our feet runs a river. _Or is it a moat?_  There’s no swelling, beautiful music to underscore our entrance here.  Just some ambient sounds and some wealthy couples fleeing at the sight of our group.

  “Just a guess, Seeker, but I think they all know who we are.”  Varric says after our long, silent walk to these gates. Now the gates to the market are flung open.  They’re obnoxiously tall, at least thirty feet from my perspective, and made of wrought iron.

  “Your skills of observation never fail to impress me, Varric.”  If I weren’t so nervous right now, I’d have laughed. I see a scout running up to us from the long path to the market.  She comes to a stop, taking a knee in front of us, and sounds winded when she speaks.

 “My Lady Herald!”   _I keep forgetting that that title belongs to me._

  “Your one of Leliana’s people.  What have you found?” Leave it to Cassandra to get down to business.

  “The Chantry Mothers await you, but… so do a great many Templars.” _Lord have mercy._

  “There are Templars here?”

  “People seem to think the Templars will protect them from… from the Inquisition!”  Now the scout turns to address me. “They seek to execute you as an example, my Lady.”   _Oh, sweet Jesus, I’m gonna die!_  My eyes almost bug out of my head.

  “O...Oh…”  Is all I can manage after a hard swallow.  The scout fills Cassandra in more on the situation.

  “They’re gathering on the other side of the Market.  I think that’s where the Templars intend to meet you.”   _I want my mom.  I wanna go home.  I want a hug. I want my cats._  Everything I have in me tells me to start booking it the way we came, but Cassandra begins to march to the marketplace and I have no choice in the matter.

“Only one thing to do, then.”  We all move forward behind her.  The corridor is lined with giant statues of various religious figures in the Chantry religion.  I don’t know any of them by name. Now Cassandra begins to speak as we all slowly trail on.

  “They wish to protect the people?  From us? From the Herald?” Now Varric takes the opportunity to chime in.

  “You think the order returned to the fold, maybe?  To deal with us upstarts?”

  “I know Lord Seeker Lucius.  I can’t imagine him coming to the Chantry’s defense.  Not after all that’s occurred.” Now she turns around to address the scout, who has been following at our heels.  “Return to Haven. Someone will need to inform them if we are… delayed.” _I don’t wanna die.  I don’t wanna die. I don’t wanna die._

  “As you say, my lady.”

 

  The summer market is a large circle.  In the center stands some kind of pavilion, surrounded by lion statues.  It’s bright and sunny here. The walls are lined with shops and various levels of balconies and banners are strewn everywhere.  It’s all grand and utterly obnoxious. Everything’s too fancy like the entire city is trying to rub its wealth in our faces. But I guess that’s Orlais for you.  Even their dress code is insane. It’s all starchy medieval get-ups with strange, tall hats and glittery masks. I feel like I’ve walked into an outdoor masquerade.  To our right, I can see the entrance to the pathway of the Grand Cathedral. The gates are closed shut. In front of them is a low, wooden platform. On it is a Chantry Mother, flanked by two other Chantry members.  I can’t see the contingent of Templars anywhere. A massive crowd has gathered around the Mother, which Cassandra leads us to the edges of to watch this unfold.

  But the thing that catches my eyes the moment there’s a gap in the crowd is something I didn’t see before.  On the ground level, in front of the mother, is a tall wooden pole surrounded by kindling piles and ropes. I now can see some Templars moving in onto the platform beside the Chantry Mother and beside the pyre’s foundation. _Oh no.  They are going to kill me.  I don’t wanna die. I don’t wanna die.  Not like this. Not here. Not yet!_  I start to back up, but a hand on my shoulder stops me.  I glance to my right to see Solas, a sad look in his eye.

  “Do not let them see your fear.”  He says in a low voice. “They will not touch you.”   _Easy for you to say…_

 

  “Good people of Val Royeaux, hear me!”  The Chantry Mother loudly proclaims, silencing the noise of the crowd.  She’s a much older woman and speaks in a thick Orleasan accent. “Together, we mourn our Divine.  Her naive and beautiful heart silenced by treachery!” She begins to step forward on the platform, closer to the crowds of onlookers.

  “You wonder what will become of her murderer.  Well, wonder no more!” Now she points dramatically at me.  The crowd now spills to the sides as they turn around. Everyone is now looking at us and the path to the stake is right in front of me.  “Behold the so-called ‘Herald of Andraste! Claiming to rise where our beloved fell! Both a mage and a demon from beyond the Fade, sent by the false gods to destroy our lives and our faith!  We say this is a false prophet! No servant of anything beyond her selfish greed!” Now the Chantry Mother fixes us with a glare as her arm lowers. I’m too shocked to say anything as a silence falls over us all.  You could hear a pin drop. Instead, it’s Cassandra who speaks directly to the Cleric.

  “We came here in peace, simply to talk- and this is what you do?  Let us sit down together, to deal with the real threat! The Inquisition seeks only to end this madness before it is too late!”  There are now more murmurs again after the Seeker finishes talking.

  “It is already too late!”  The Cleric now points off stage left, where the sound of marching armor rings in.  Now the small contingent of Templars ascend the steps. “The Templars have returned to the Chantry!  They will face this ‘Inquisition’ and the people will be safe once more! Templars! Faithful to the Maker!  Seize this ‘Herald’ and we shall show these people what happens to a heretic!”

  My heart stops in my throat.  In an instant, Cassandra is in front of me, her blade out, ready to fight anyone.  Both Solas and Varric are on either side of me, ready to draw their own weapons if a fight breaks out.  But no one in the crowd steps forward to grab me. No Templar seems interested in tying me to the pole. Every person in the crowd is too terrified to lift a finger.  Cassandra now lowers her stance and sheaths her weapon, but her hand still clutches the hilt.

   The Cleric steps back to give the Lord Seeker a place to stand, but he brushes past her.  An archer behind him lets his fist come down hard on the back of her head, and the Cleric falls forward in pain.  The gasps around us are audible at this display.

  “Still yourselves!”  The Lord Seeker addresses the crowd, throwing his hand forward.  A hush falls at his command. The man’s black hair is pulled back and seems greasy and unkempt.  I see another Templar, a younger dark-skinned man with a close-shaven head, tries to help the Mother up, however, his commanding officer stops him.  “She is beneath us.” Lucius says with disgust.

  “What is the meaning of this?!”  Someone yells out from the crowd.  Now the Lord Seeker addresses all of us.

  “Her claim to ‘authority’ is an insult.  Much like your own.” The Lord Seeker’s face is even uglier than in-game.  He’s got a full face, with a scar above an eyebrow, and a thin nose and lips.  He almost reminds me of that bust of Pompey the Great I’ve seen and looks just as weird.  Of course, that’s also an Envy demon wearing his form, so who am I to judge? Now the Seeker stomps off the stage, with Cassandra quickly trailing after him.

  “Lord Seeker Lucius, it is imperative that we speak with-”

  “You will not address me!”  He snaps at her like an angry pit bull.  Now the Templars under his command follow him, marching in two single file lines.  Cassandra only seems confused by the response and stops momentarily.

  “Lord Seeker?”

  “Creating a heretical movement, raising up a puppet-wench as Andraste's Prophet.  You should be ashamed.” _Well, that’s kind of rude._  Now the Lord Seeker turns back to the crowd.  “You should all be ashamed! The Templars failed no one when they left the Chantry to purge the mages!”  Now he points are our little ragtag group of a rebellious Seeker, mafia author, hobo Loki, and a scared little kid.

  “You are the ones who have failed!  You who’d leash our righteous swords with doubt and fear!”   _Joke’s on you buddy, I was going to ally with the mages the whole time._  “If you came to appeal to the Chantry, you are too late.  The only destiny here that demands respect is mine.” _Someone’s a stupid, stupid egomaniac.  I’m the best at insults somebody get me a medal!_  Cassandra steps forward now, clearly shocked and mad as all get out.

  “What we need is an alliance to seal the Breach!”   _Yeah, we need to fix Solas’ giant goof-up of the century!_  The Lord Seeker only scoffs.

  “Oh, the Breach is indeed a threat.  But you certainly have no power to do anything about it.”  He delivers that line like the guttural monster he is.

  “But Lord Seeker-”  The man who tried to help the Cleric speaks up.  “What if she really is sent by the Maker? What if-”  The Archer who punched the Mother steps forward, cracking his knuckles.

  “You are called to a high purpose!  Do not question!” Now The Lord Seeker demands attention yet again.

  “ _I_ will make the Templar order a power that stands alone against the void!   _We_ deserve recognition.  Independence!” He looks at us and Cassandra again.  “You have shown me nothing, and the Inquisition- less than nothing.”  Now he turns to address his men.

  “Templars!  Val Royeaux is unworthy of our protection!  We march!”

 

  And just like that, they all stalk out of here like nothing happened.   _Buncha jerks…_  With the Templars gone and no one moving to set me on fire, the crowd quickly dispersed and vanishes.   _It’s like nothing ever happened._  After a minute or so of gawking, Varric finally speaks.

  “Charming fellow, isn’t he.”  
“Has Lord Seeker Lucius gone mad?”  Cassandra balks in confusion at what just went on.   _Ha ha, ya think?  Dude’s a walking psycho._

  “Do you know him very well, Cassandra?”  Now it’s Solas’ turn to pipe up. She sort of shakes her head, trying to organize her thoughts.

  “He took over the Seekers of Truth two years ago, after Lord Seeker Lambert’s death.  He was always a decent man, never given to ambition and grandstanding. This is very bizarre.”

  “That’s because that isn’t the Lord Seeker.”  I finally speak up. My voice sounds hollow and quiet to my own ears.  Each of them look equally shocked. “An Envy demon is running around as him.  I don’t know where the real Lucius is.” _I literally do not know.  I forgot._

  “Bottom line, if we go ally with the Templars, we’ve got to fight that guy, who wants to eat my face.”  Now Cassandra looks even more confused.

  “Eat you… What?!”  I pause. _Maybe that wasn’t the best description..._

  “That thing wants to wear me like a suit and turn the Inquisition into a legit Inquisition!  You know, punish the non-believers, whip and torture people, the whole shabang!” The Seeker shakes her head.

  “Are you… Are you positive?”  Now Varric speaks up again.

  “What Dots said at the war meeting has already happened, exactly like she said.  Why would she lie about something like that?” I see Solas nod in agreement. Eventually, Cassandra sighs and caves in.

  “What about the mages, then?”  I shrug, mostly to help me feel more at ease.

  “Oh, you know, just a Tevinter magister trying to force the mages into his servitude and erase me from the time-space continuum.”  All three of them are practically even more shocked than the Buffalo Bill Envy explanation.

  “I beg your pardon?”  Solas exclaims. _You can beg all you want, Dread Wolf, I’m not giving you a cookie._

  “Spooky mage guy wants me ‘poof’ gone!  So if we go to the Templars, we fight a freaky demon who wants to be me.  If we go to the mages, we deal with some fun alternate future shenanigans.  Either way, it’ll be bad.”

 

  The three adults take their time soaking in my explanation.  The Seeker is the first one to gain composure.

  “Regardless, we should return to Haven and inform the others.  We shall leave tomorrow at first light.” As I take a step forward, an arrow hits the pavement with a jolt, making me leap into the air and giving a high pitched yelp.  After a few seconds, I hear Varric cough.

  “You okay, Dots?”  I nod my head yes.

  “You’d think I’d remember that was coming.”  I half mutter to myself. I follow the arrow’s end to try and figure out where it was shot from.  I stare up at the balconies, trying to see if I can find her. I cup my hands and bellow up: “You could’ve aimed that a little to the left?”

  I strain to hear it, but I think I hear a laugh just above the sounds of the bells and the wind.


	13. Let's Split Up Gang!

“What in the Maker’s name was that?”  Cassandra asks as I stoop down to untie the red handkerchief knotted to the arrow.

“It’s a note.”  I tell her, standing up while unfolding the cloth.  A piece of rolled up parchment falls out into my hands.  I hold it up into the light to read it. The lettering is in a flowy script, almost like in first grade when teachers forced me to put loops on all my letters in an effort to introduce cursive.  Some of the words are larger than the others and some of the lines slant downwards a bit. All along the side and empty space at the bottom are littered with doodles of bees, angry stick figures, angry bees, and pies.   _I swear it’s like if my handwriting got cloned._

**‘People say you’re special.  I want to help and I can bring everyone.  There’s a baddie in Val Royeaux. I hear he wants to hurt you.  Have a search in for the red things in the market, the docks, and ‘round the cafe, and maybe you’ll meet him first.  Bring swords.**

**-Friends of Red Jenny’**   _Oh boy.  Fetch quests.  I love those._

“What does the note say?”  Cassandra asks, peering at me through the sunlight.

“There’s a guy who’s moving against us.  Gotta find some notes around here and we’ll get to him first.  Swords must be brought.” The three of them each look at the other in turn.

“And I suppose you know what’s going to happen, Dots?”  I nod to Varric, quickly bobbing my head a few times.

“Yep.  I know what to do and where to look.  I’ve done this, like, five times. Easy peasy.”

 

After a long pause where Cassandra glances at the shops lining the walls and the note in my hand, she comes to a decision.

“In that case, I believe this would be a good time to obtain better equipment for ourselves.  Solas,” Now, Cassandra starts doling out commands like a chaperone at a theme park. “There is an import shop from Montsimmard that sells staves.  You will find it on the northern wall, third from the left.” I see Varric start to check over Bianca before slinging her back into place.

“You happen to know where a guy can get some springs or a gear around this place?”  He grumbles. The Seeker only nods and points out with a stiff arm.

“I believe there is a blacksmith located to the west.  They ought to have what you need.” Suddenly, she turns to me.  The sun behind her makes me squint a little and almost forms a halo around her face.

“Do you know where to find the other notes, Catherine?”  I nod to her a few times, shielding my eyes with my right hand.

“Yeah, I know where to go.”  Now she gives a quick, firm nod and addresses all of us.

“When you have finished your errands, we shall meet back here at this wall.  Please try to be finished before sundown.” Both Solas and Varric go their separate ways and disappear into the crowds.  Surprisingly, Cassandra hasn’t left yet. I look at her, a little confused. _Does she not have anything to do?_  Now she clears her throat and speaks to me.  “With the display we just witnessed, I do not wish you wandering the market on your own.  I would feel at ease if you had someone to look out for you. If you do not mind my accompanying you…?”

 

 _Oh!  Does she want to look out for me?_   _Usually, I’d be annoyed at having a babysitter, but after seeing just what that Chantry mother was prepared to do to me…_

“I don’t mind, Cassandra.  Come on!” I wave my hand for her to follow as I start to walk in the tavern’s direction.  “Let’s not burn daylight.”

 _I’m so lucky Cassandra is intimidating._  Finding the notes on the docks and upper levels was a lot easier than I thought it would be.  It turns out red sticks out like a sore thumb on white marble stone or through the webbing of a dark fishnet.  The Friends of Red Jenny, however, hid the note in the tavern a little too well. Thankfully, mostly all Cassandra had to do is stand to the side and glare at people as I, the beloved Herald of Andraste, crouched on a dirty, tavern floor looking for a hanky.  Sidenote: It was tied to the underside of a chair. After brushing the dirt off my pants, the Seeker and I walk into the bright Orlesian sun.

“Do you know where these notes lead?”  She asks after scanning them over. The two of us begin walking back to the meeting spot, slowly while she examines some items on the stalls.   _Nothing seems to interest her.  It’s a lot more crowded here than in the game.  A lot more shops too._

“Well… uh… no.  Not exactly anyway.”  Now she looks surprised.

“You don’t know?”  I flounder a bit because she’s kind of intimidating still, but I at least stop myself from flinching.

“When I went through this, the map marker was automatically added.  I didn’t need to actually figure it out.” Now she gives a sigh. _I hope she’s not disappointed._

“When Varric and Solas are done, we shall figure these notes out.”

“R-Right!”  I nod and jog a little to catch up with her.   _This lady speedwalks like nobody's business.  Cass, wait up for my little legs!_  

“Pardon me, you are with the Inquisition, no?”  A voice pops up from one of the stands. All of a sudden, the Seeker has stopped and I run face first into her armor and I land on the cobblestone.  Cassandra quickly pulls me up off the ground and starts tilting my head around to check for injuries. When it is decided that I’m a-ok, she gives me a slightly cross expression.

“Please watch what is in front of you.  You ought to be more careful, Herald.” I rub my nose a little bit before replying.

“Yes, Seeker.”   _I sound like a little kid who got a timeout._  Now both Cass and I turn to who grabbed her attention.  In front of a cart of produce stands an Orlesian woman. She’s got a long dress on, kind of poofed out at the skirt, and wears a full brimmed sun hat.  A silver colored ornate mask rests on her face.

“Yes, we are.”  Cassandra answers her question from earlier.  “How may we help you?”

“Is what they’re saying real?”  The woman asks in a low voice, not wanting to be overheard.  “The Inquisition’s going to fix the hole in the sky?” I find my voice quickly, now actually starting to speak for myself.

“That’s what we’re trying to do, yeah.”  The shopkeep throws up her hands in annoyance.

“No one is doing anything!  The Chantry’s useless, and the Templars…  Andrastre… I never thought they’d abandon us!”  Now she beckons the two of us closer.

“Listen, your camp will need food.  I have contacts. We’ll have deliveries there in days.”  
“You want to help the Inquisition?”  Cassandra sounds a little hesitant. _I don’t remember much about this part, but I do remember she’s an agent of some kind._

“Never been part of something this big before, but, if your Inquisition is going to seal the sky…  I want to help.” I can’t help but notice the woman is looking at me for confirmation. I quickly glance at Cassandra for help.

“Uhh… what do we say?”  My companion only raises an eyebrow at my response.

“I think she is asking you and not me?”   _But aren’t you in charge?!_  Cassandra doesn’t say anything after that, so I assume it’s up to me.

“Head to Haven, then.  Any help is appreciated.”  The woman in front of us looks pleased, but it’s hard to tell under that mask.

“I don’t know if I’m that, but it will be nice to see.  Thank you.” She gives a small bow and turns away from us.  At this, Cassandra and I resume walking. Her armor makes a few clicks as she moves, as does her sword.  Some of the people shopping duck to the opposite side of the path to get out of her way. _Or is it our way?_  Once we’ve passed all the stalls, a new face runs up to me.

“Message for you, ma’am.  From First Enchanter Madame de Fer of Montsimmard.”  The man holds a crisp, white envelope out to me. On the flap is a gold wax seal.   _It doesn’t look like the emblems I’ve seen of the circle mages.  Might just be the French one or some kind of noble house? Isn’t she the mistress of some duke, I think?_  I quietly accepted the letter.  The courier only gives a bow and runs off before I can say anything else.  After popping open the seal, I find an invitation written in a very pretty calligraphy font. 

_Blah blah blah, Herald of Andtrstre, yada yada, cordially invites you to, something something, at this location.  We hope to see you there, Madame de Fer, First Enchanter and Court Mage to her Majesty, Empress Celene of House Valmont of the Orlesian Empire._  Meanwhile, Cassandra has been peering over my shoulder trying to read.

“Just what is this?”  She asks me, her face looking confused.   _Does she just not understand the letter or doesn’t like the Orlesian politics?_  I fold the letter back into the envelope and waggle it in my hand.

“I just got me invited to a fancy shindig up at some guy’s house.”  I hear Cassandra stifle a laugh as we head to the meeting point. Neither Solas or Varric have come back yet.

“Why did you ask for my input earlier?”  She asks me after a brief silence.

“Well…”  I frown a little to myself.   _Why did I?  I knew she would just say the lady was asking me._  “Your one of the founders of the Inquisition.  You have more experience than I do. Why shouldn’t I?”  She seems to consider my answer before adding one of her own.

“As the Herald of Andraste, many people will look to you for guidance in these times.  They will ask for your word rather than mine. If people see that you are simply repeating what I have told you, they may form the idea you are a puppet rather than an individual.”  But then she places a hand on my shoulder. “But I shall be here for advice, should you ever need it.”

I fight the strong urge to hug her here and now.

“Thank you, Cassandra.  It means a lot, really.”

 

* * *

 

Now it’s night and we all stand in front of a large door, weapons at the ready.  It’s a little cold and it’s quiet. Too quiet… But in the end, this is where the notes lead us to and I recognize it clearly.  We’re in the right place. Hesitantly, I push open the large blue door and step into the courtyard. In the center, there stands an Orlesian man in an over the top white suit.  His mask is dark and glitters in the moonlight. The hat he wears, which seems more like a wrap, is that weird one with the two lumps that look sort of like buns. Orlesian fashion makes zero sense.   _Is it trying to emulate the Qunari or just a dumb hat?_  Suddenly, the man notices us and quickly raises his hand.  His palm begins to glow red. _Uh oh…_

“Mage!”  I yell, throwing myself onto the ground as quickly as I can.  I feel Solas throw a barrier on me and feel the heat of fireballs as he summons some to cancel out our attacker’s.

“Herald of Andraste!”  The man says, his accent so thick I could cut it with a knife.  He’s stopped attacking, which lets my companions take up their positions around me.   _At least I’m able to get up off the ground._   _I threw myself too hard.  That hurt._  “How much did you expend to discover me?  It must have weakened the Inquisition immeasurably!”  I fight the urge to snort at this pompous windbag.

“I legit have no idea who you are, dude.”  He only scoffs as he begins to pace back and forth like a cat.

“You don’t fool me!  I’m too important for this to be an accident!  My efforts will survive in victories against you elsewhere!”  On the steps to the left, a guard gurgles as an arrow has pierced his throat.  As he falls, he reveals an elven girl standing behind him. Her bow and arrow are drawn and aimed at the windbag.  She’s wearing a ragged, burgundy shirt with some leather armor strapped to her chest. Her yellow and black plaid leggings are a sight.   _I understand why no one in game likes plaidweave.  It hurts my eyes a little._

“Just say: what!”  She says in a thick British accent as she pulls further back on her arrow.

“What is the-”  The second the French fry finishes ‘What’ the arrow is released and he too, gurgles, and falls to the ground.   _I mean, she did say to say ‘what’._  Meanwhile, after he drops with a thud, the girl makes a face as she walks over.

“Eugh!”  Now I start walking to her as well.  The two of us are standing across from each other and now I get a good look at her.  Her blonde hair is the same, a messy bob with the bangs cut short and straight across her forehead.  I can see she’s got a lot of freckles on her face. She’s got a little eyeliner on as well. The only other thing I can tell is she’s taller than me…

“Squishy one, but you heard me, right? ‘Just say what’. Rich tits always try for more than they deserve.”  Now she bends down to retrieve her arrow. It gets pulled out with a yank and I try not to gag at the noise it makes coming out of that dude’s body.  “Blah, blah, blah! Obey me! Arrow in my face!” I can’t help but laugh at her impression of the upper class. Now she’s twirling the arrow around in her hand like I would a pen when I got bored in class. _She’s very nonchalant about all this.  Wish I could just address her by her name, but that would be really weird._

“So, you followed the notes well enough.”  Now she’s appraising me, looking me up and down like she’s about to punch me or something.  “Glad to see you’re…” Now she just giggles out loud. It echos around us.

“You’re all dwarfy!”  I frown really hard. Now I look her up and down, throwing my palms up as I look at her. “Wait!”  She stops herself mid-giggle.

“You ain’t a dwarf!  All that talk and you’re… Just a person?”   _Oh my god, she’s the first person I didn’t need to explain I’m not a dwarf to.  She figured it out herself! Hallelujah!_

“Sorry ‘bout that, but it’s all good innit?  The important thing is: you glow? You’re the Herald thingy?”  I whip off the glove on my right hand, revealing the mark that snakes around my hand and wrist.

“I mean, if you’re talking about my glowing complexion, then sure, I glow.  But my name’s not Harold though. Not sure why everybody thinks that.” Now the giggles have come back and only increased.  Beneath them, Cassandra groans again. I hear Solas smack his forehead. Varric tries to hide a laugh.

“I like you!  You’re a funny one, yeah?”  I stick my thumb out at the dead body beside us.

“So what’s with this guy?”  The elven girl only shrugs.

“No idea, I don’t know this idiot from manners.  My people just said the Inquisition should look at him.”   _Welp, I looked at him all right._

“So, you're with the Friends of Red Jenny, right?”  She starts nodding eagerly.

“Right!  That’s it!”  Now she cocks her head to a nearby crate.  “Anyway, name’s Sera. This is cover. Get ‘round it.  For the reinforcements!” Now she can’t stop grinning.

“Don’t worry.  Someone tipped me off their equipment shed.”  Sera can’t stop laughing as she says the next line.  “They’ve got no breeches!”

 

Right at that second, the reinforcements arrive.  I quickly bolt to hide behind the cover she suggested.  I can hear my other companion’s varied reactions to the ‘no breeches bit’.

“Why didn’t you take their weapons?!”  Cassandra yells as she engages one of the men on the right-hand stairs.

“Because no breeches!”  Sera only keeps laughing as she darts around, shooting people left and right.   _She’s almost as quick as Varric with Bianca_.  I can practically hear Solas roll his eyes from here.

“Honestly…”  He gripes while swinging his staff overhead.  Varric only gives a blow of hot air.

“Of all the things that could’ve happened today.”  

I decide to peak over the boxes to see a bunch of men- complete with blue and white striped boxers- running at us on the left hand side.   _Too bad nobody's got that heart print like in the cartoons.  That’d’ve made my day!_  Suddenly, I feel a couple jabs on my right shoulder.  I turn my head to see Sera crouched beside me and she shoves some grey pellets into my arms.  They’re about the size of mega bouncy balls.

“Toss ‘em!”  The elf yells over the others, making a throwing motion with her arm before she starts shooting again.  Taking her lead, I put a couple into my hand and start throwing as hard and as fast as I can. _Good thing I played softball when I was a kid._  The second the pellets hit the ground a splatter of different colored paints come out. _I’m chucking paintballs.  I’ve always wanted to do that!_  Beside me, Sera’s having a ball.

“I friggin’ love this shite!  Do more!” She cackles as I continue to toss them.  Red, Blue, Orange, Pink… Our enemies underwear and their legs are stained with bright paints.   _And if this stuff is medieval paint, I think it’s toxic.  Sucks to be them._

 

By the time I’ve finished throwing all the paintballs, the fighting has died down.  There’s no more reinforcements. Just a bunch of dead guys splattered in paint in their underpants.  Meanwhile, Sera starts darting around to get her arrow supply back to normal.

“Friends really came through with that tip!”  I hear her echo clearly in the dark night. “No breeches!”  She laughs like a chaotic fairy as she darts around and pulls out arrows from the dead.  By the time she’s done, I’ve crawled out of my hiding place and stand at the edge of a fountain.  I can hear the others walk up behind me.

“Just what is up with this girl?”  Varric mumbles as Sera keeps running from body to body.  I turn around and give a shrug.

“She’s a friend?”  Cassandra snorts in annoyance at the response.

“You mean a ‘Friend of Red Jenny’.  I’ve heard of them. Quite… a chaotic group, to put it lightly.”  Now she looks more serious. “Did you know this… Sera would be here?”

“Yep!”  Now Solas, who looks so incredibly done with the situation right now, speaks up.   _Maybe he wants to hurry up and get to the Fade or something?_

“And do you plan on recruiting her into the Inquisition?”  He asks wearily.

“Yeep!”  All of them look struck, to say so.  Now, there’s a splash in front of me as Sera has jumped down from the upper balcony.   _She splashed me a lot…_  She snickers as she hops out of the water, her shoes squeak on the tile.

“So, Herald of Andraste.  You’re a strange one. I’d like to join.”  She says decisively. I only eagerly nod.

“Out of curiosity, how many other Red Jennies are there?”  Now she taps a finger to her chin or fiddles with a sleeve as she rambles.

“Well, I’m one.  So is a fence in Monfort, some woman in Kirkwall.  There were three in Starkhaven. Brothers or something.  But it’s all just a name, yeah? Let’s little people, ‘Friends’, be part of something while they stick it to the nobles they hate.”   _Sounds like my kind of people_.

“Yeah, I gotcha.  Kind of like Robin Hood.”  Sera makes a face and I quickly fill her in.  “Like, ‘rob from the rich, give to the the poor’ kind of thing?”  She grins as she wipes her nose with her hand.

“Yeah, you got it!  Someone little always hates someone big.  And unless you don’t eat, sleep, or piss, you’re never far away from someone little.  Sometimes it don’t work out, but a lotta people hated this guy. Someone got a laugh, someone got even, someone got paid.”  I nod along with her explanation. Now I stick out my right hand to her.

“Wanna come on board, then?”  Now she jumps up a little and claps her hands in delight.

“Yes!”  She easily shakes my hand fast and hard, almost like she’s going to pull out my arm.  “Get in good before you’re too big to like. That’ll keep your breeches where they should be!”  Now she moves to grab a huge sack I didn’t see behind her. Sera hauls it over her shoulder, almost like an old-timey bank robber.   _If only she had a mustache to twirl._

“Plus extra breeches.  ‘Cause I have all these…”  Inbetween her laughter, she stops.  “You have merchants who buy that pish, right?  Got to be worth something.” Now I can’t stop snickering too.

“You took all their pants!”  Now Sera frowns at me.

“No.”  She says.  “I took their breeches.”

“Yeah, yeah, you took their pants.”  The elf shakes her head, her hair swinging wildly.

“Nah, I nicked their breeches, mate!”

“Yeah, the pants!”

“But they’re wearing their pants!”  Now I’m shaking my head.

“No, you took those.”

“But they’re all in this bag!  They’ve still got their pants!”

“No, that’s their underwear.”

“Pants.”  She corrects me.  I make a face.

“Underwear.”

“Pants.”

“Underwear.”

“Pants!”

“Under-”  Suddenly I’m cut off by all three of the others yelling:

“Just get on with it!”

 

“Anyway…”  Sera giggles a few more times before continuing.  “Haven, yeah? See you there, Herald! This will be grand!”  Before I can give her my real name, she’s already running off, whooping into the night.  

_Grand indeed, mon ami._


	14. The Cake is a Lie

“Announcing Lady Hawking of Orlando, Representing the Inquisition.”  The footman reads my name from a scroll as I enter through the massively tall door and into the equally massive tall foyer.  Suddenly my fears of heights comes in full swing.  _ I can’t bear to look at tall ceilings.  I don’t know why. It just… freaks me out. _  I start awkwardly glancing around, trying not to seem too out of place but failing miserably.  _  I really wish Cassandra was here.  I feel lost and scared... _

_ Right, just remember what they told you, you’ll do fine.  Don’t meet anyone’s eyes, but don’t look away. Don’t laugh at their accents.  Don’t say anything stupid. Don’t give away too much information. Be cordial but be on your guard.  Be polite but not a doormat. Do not gawk at their dress or the absurdness of the decor. Do not take any food or drink offered to you by a guest.  If you must, go to the reception table or from a servant's tray. Keep your guard up when taking someone’s hand, there could be a knife or poison ring.  And absolutely be on your best behavior. No repeats of last night, that is not befitting of Andraste’s Herald or the Inquisition’s name. We need all the respect we can get.  _

_ Okay, let’s just locate the snack bar, stuff your face with cake, wait for Viv.  I can do this. I can do this! _

 

The foyer is large and filled with women in massive skirts, all brilliant colors and in heavy embroidery.  The men are equally fancy and in equally silly hats.  _ This is so crazy I’ve never seen anything like it in my life!  Oh thank god I see the cake! _

I spot the snack table in the left side of the room.  It’s a long table with a deep blue cloth decorating it.  The large windows above it beam sunlight into the room and light up the treats with a brilliant glow.  I see a few guests already have tiny plates and occasionally take nibbles of the food.  _ But, hey, there’s no line!  I’m in! _  I walk as quickly as I dare, trying to politely nod to people or reply to their greetings as I make my way to heaven.  I start at my right on the end of the table. This side has more, finger food, I would guess. Things like cookies, tiny eclairs, little baby sandwiches, and oh!   _ Macarons!  Jackpot! _  I quickly grab a chocolate one and take a bite while scanning for others to grab for later.  

But something is wrong.  _  This tastes like dirt! _  I try to keep my gagging to a quiet minimum as I force myself to swallow.  I glance down at my bite mark to see the filling. Inside the brown french cookie is… a mushroom?  And that can’t be oreo crumbles…  __

_ Why does this taste like dirt?  Did I just eat a dirt cookie? I just ate a dirt cookie?  I just ate a dirt cookie! What kind of sacrilegious-ness is this?!  This is an outrage! Who does this?! How can you ruin such a good pastry!  How dare you! Who’s idea was this?!  _ I eyeball the rest of them suspiciously.  I study the ones I usually get before glancing around at the guests.   _ Nobody seems to be watching me. _  I quickly put a couple pink ones in my pocket.   _ They better be raspberry… _

I slowly move my way down the line, trying to find something to get this awful taste out of my mouth.  I see champagne, but I don’t drink.  _ I don’t suppose they have any water?  Is that too much to ask? _  At the very end, I start to see a beautiful and decadent cake.   _ Holy mother of chocolate! _  It’s a giant four-tiered beauty with golden flowers snaking their way up from the base to the top.  The frosting is a beautiful white with the edges a royal blue. The only thing suggesting it’s chocolate is a small section has been cut into, with a few crumbs trailing the table.   _ That’s cake decorating goals right there. _  I start to look around for plates and the serving spatula when a thought occurs.  

_ There’s only a tiny cut, not many people have gotten into it yet.  What I thought were chocolate macarons turned out to be dirt. That looks like chocolate…  Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. I think I’ll come back later after Viv.  Should still be some left. Maybe I can ask her what kind it is? _  I decide to move away from the snack table and be patient.  I see a two people look up from their conversation as I’m looking around at all the decorations and the banners.   _ This must have cost a lot of money…  Probably more than my college debt! _  The two nod to me politely and I nod back as I should.  I was hoping to move on when the man on the left speaks to me.  Behind the two of them is a rippling indoor fountain. For a second I feel like I’m in a ritzy hotel.   _ I wonder if there’s any coins in there? _

 

“What a pleasure to meet you, my lady.  Seeing the same faces at every event becomes so tiresome.”   _ Well, he’s the first person to make conversation and not whisper about me behind my back.  Maybe he’s nice?  _ “So you must be a guest of Madame de Fer.  Or are you here for Duke Bastien?”  _  Bastien!  That was the name of the guy Viv is in a relationship with! _

“Are you here on business?”  The woman to his right asks me as soon as he finishes his question.  “I have heard the most curious tales of you. I cannot imagine half of them are true.”

“I haven’t heard much of Duke Bastien.”  I can’t help myself from blurting out the question.  I kind of only know his relationship to Viv and not much else.   _ Who is this guy? _

“He hasn’t been seen much at Court, lately.”  The woman says.

“His business with the Council of Heralds often takes him from home for long periods.  It can’t be good for a man of his age.”  _ Right, he’s old, I remember that.  And the Council of Heralds is a group...of old people?  And they vote on who’s emperor? Or they’re like the advisory board?  Or just fancy titles for rich people? Man, I did not pay attention to the codexes at all!  Why is Orlais so confusing?! Just what is this stupid Great Game?! _

“And, of course, there’s the Civil War.”   _ Oh no.  I forgot all about that too.  Gaspard and Celene are fighting each other for the throne, but I forgot why.  I didn’t read the book! I don’t know anything! I don’t like this exam! _  “Bastien probably wishes to distance himself from the actions of his one-time-son-in-law.”   _ Okay, so Gaspard married into Bastien’s family?  But one time? Did his wife die? Gaspard had a wife? _

“Tearing up the Dales in a foolish bid for power?  It will end in disgrace for Gaspard. Everyone knows it.”  _  The Dales were Elven lands, but the Chantry and Orlais took it from them in a holy Crusade thingy.  I remember that! Hooray for small mercies… _

“Well, everything you’ve heard…”   _ Might as well play along to their expectations.   _ “Completely true.”   _ Yo, I remember that from the ten hours I spent in the character creator! _  The woman gives a small, dainty laugh.

“Better and better!  The Inquisition should attend more of these parties.”   _ If it means more dirt macarons keep me a million miles from any soiree in the entire country! _

“The Inquisition?” A new voice scoffs as he comes down the stairs to the right.  “What a load of pig shit!” Now he stops to stand in front of me, his chest puffed out like he’s looking for trouble.  This guy’s outfit tops all the others in terms of ridiculousness. First off, his hat looks like either a deflated chefs hat or an extra large beret. It’s a poofy white monstrosity that flops over the left side of his head, nearly covering his eyes.  His mask is a shiny gold, different from most people’s masks that I’ve noticed. The sleeves on his ugly orange doublet have this weird roll design on the shoulders, like somebody put in jumbo cinnamon rolls where there should be shoulder pads.  _  The heck is up with not-France? _

“Washed-up sisters and crazed Seekers?  No one can take them seriously.”  _ Hey, nobody insults my friends like that bucko! _  Now he walks in between me and the people I was talking to, making sure to clock me in the face with his arm. _  I think I smell alcohol on him but it’s hard over the vast amount of cologne. _  “Everyone knows it’s just an excuse for a bunch of political outcasts to grab power.”  Now he’s beginning to circle around me like a shark, waving his hands around as he talks.   _ Is that a cutlass on his back?  Or a fencing sword? I haven’t seen any weapons in here?  How’d this crackpot get past security? _  But now he’s paused for me to speak and I better say something fast before more people start to watch.

“Err… The Inquisition is working to restore order.  And peace!” I feel like I’m cornered and can’t run anywhere.  The man doesn’t seem impressed by my response.

“Here comes the outsider, restoring peace with an army!”  Now he looms forward to lean down into my face. “We know what your ‘Inquisition’ truly is!  If you were a woman of honor,” Now I’m jabbed in the chest with a gloved finger.

“...You’d step outside and answer the charges.”   _ Holy crap he’s going to fight me?!  But I didn’t bring anything for a knife fight! _  As I start to back away from him, praying I don’t trip over my own feet, he starts to reach for the sword at his back.  The second he touches the hilt, there’s a strange noise and he’s covered in a light blue film, with cold vapor floating off him, unable to move.   _ He’s been frozen solid!   _ Now the party is quiet, except for some distant music.  From the left stairs, a pair of heels begins to make their descent.

“My dear Marquis, how unkind of you to use such language in my house… To my guests.  To this poor girl.” Madame de Fer is descending the steps, her hand holding an ice spell at the ready.  As she comes down to the landing, I can see her outfit clearly.

The first thing I see is the pair of horns on her hat that would make Maleficent envious.  Her robes are unlike the other mage’s I’ve ever seen. The silk is a greyish blue and covered with embroidery.  The white border of the hem snakes up her body to wrap around her neck. The window that exposes her chest doesn’t show any cleavage but would leave someone wondering, I guess.  But the brightness of the hem is a nice contrast to her dark skin. Above her, poofy, striped, shoulder puffs is a collar that looks more like she’s trying to imitate the Dilophosaurus from Jurassic Park.  Her heels are actually a pair of boots that go up to her thighs. Absolutely none of this is suitable for combat, but I suppose it does make a statement.

“You know such rudeness is… Intolerable.”  Madame de Fer says smoothly, like a British posh lady, complete with the same accent.   _ Even though we’re in France?  Okay. _  She walks over to us to stand at my side, her heels clicking on the tiles as she goes.

“Madame Vivienne, I humbly beg your pardon!”  The Marquis manages to get out through his frozen lips.

“You should.”  _  Oh, snap! _  Now Vivienne stands directly in front of the Iceman to stare into his terrified eyes.  “Whatever am I going to do with you, my dear?” Now she turns to me, a gentler tone to her voice and eyes.

“My lady, you’re the wounded party in this unfortunate affair.  What would you have me do with this foolish, foolish man?”  _ Ah geez, I don’t know!  I didn’t attend ye olde medieval insult challenge etiquette 101! _  I manage to find my voice and not sound like a complete scaredy cat when I speak.

“It’s your house, ma’am.  Whatever you deem necessary.”  I notice a twinkle of approval behind the mask.  Now she spins to the Marquis, clearly in her element.

“Poor Marquis, issuing challenges and hurling insults like some Ferelden dog lord.”  Now she gives a wave of her hand, snaps her fingers, and the ice vanishes from the man.  He immediately brings his hand to his face to cover his coughing fit. Vivienne isn’t done yet and keeps going.  “And all dressed up in your Aunt Solange’s doublet? Didn’t she give you that to wear to the Grand Tourney? To think, all the brave Chevaliers who will be competing left for Markham this morning…  And you’re still here.” Now she gestures a hand in my direction.

“Were you hoping to save your damaged pride by defeating the Herald of Andraste in a public duel?  Look at her, you’ve scared the poor child half to death. And she clearly has no mind for fighting because there would be no way she would win.  Unless you thought somehow her blade could put an end to the misery of your failure?” The Marquis says nothing and stares at the floor. “Run along, my dear.  Do give my regards to your aunt.” Now the Marquis dejectedly walks off with his tail between his legs. 

 

With this over, Madame de Fer turns to me, clearly pleased by the outcome.

“I’m delighted you could attend this little gathering, my dear.  I’ve so wanted to meet you.” Now she inclines her head for me to follow and we begin to leave the foyer for an empty hallway.  There are large windows that stream in light and I can still hear the music playing from wherever in the house. Vivienne stops by an open window a great distance from the rest of her guests.  “Allow me to introduce myself. I am Vivienne, First Enchanter of Montsimmard and Enchantress to the Imperial Court.”

“It’s good to meet you, Lady Vivienne.”  I give a tiny bow to her. Am I following court etiquette?  Did I do that right? Whatever I did, she seems amused by it.

“Ah, but I didn’t invite you to the chateau for pleasantries.  With Divine Justinia dead, the Chantry is in shambles. Only the Inquisition might restore sanity and order to our frightened people.  As the leader of the last loyal mages of Thedas, I feel it only right that I lend my assistance to your cause.”  _ Hold up, last loyal mages?  Last time I checked the circles went kaboom? _ _ Right, gotta talk bidnis.  Gotta talk bidnis! _

“And who are your mages loyal to, exactly?”

“Why, to the people of Thedas, of course.  We have not forgotten the commandment, as some have, that magic exists to serve man.  I support any effort to restore such order.”  _ And put people like me and Solas into some kind of Azkaban for the rest of our lives?  Nah. Not my style. _

“And what kind of assistance can you provide for the Inquisition?”

“I am well versed in the politics of the Orlesian Empire, I know every member of the Imperial Court personally.  I have all the resources remaining to the Circle at my disposal. And I’m a mage of no small talent, will that do?”  _  I mean, I wanted to get all the companions anyway.  And having people whose opinion I don’t agree with makes things more rounded instead of everyone blindly following me like puppies. _

“The Inquisition will gladly accept your offer, Lady Vivienne.”  She smiles a very pleased smile, like a cat that caught the canary.

“Great things are beginning, my dear.  I can promise you that.” 

 

I honestly expected her to dismiss me then and there since this is where the cutscene ends, but she doesn’t move and continues to speak. 

“Now, let’s talk about you, my dear Herald.”  I blink back my surprise.

“I’m sorry?  M-Me?” Vivienne gives a short noblewoman's laugh.

“Naturally.  You have been the talk of the court for some time.  I have heard our Lady’s Herald is newly a mage, am I correct?”   _ Well, guess I can’t hide it now. _

“Yes ma’am.  My magic formed alongside the Breach.”   _ Hard to believe that was a month ago… _  Vivienne gives a few long nods.

“I see.”  She says almost with a purr.  “And you have found a teacher, I should hope?”  I nod to her like a good pupil.

“Yes, I have.”  I tell her, omitting the fact said tutor is a bald elven hobo apostate ancient god man.  Vivienne seems pleased either way.

“Very good.  And how has your training been progressing, my dear?  You must have mastered the basic by now, one would hope.”   _ Why is she grilling me?  What’s her deal?! _

“Well… it hasn’t been going well.  I seem unable to perform any magic so far.  The only spell I’ve done was when I sealed the Breach.  I was able to summon a fireball, but only under duress.”  The woman places a finger against her cheek in thought.  _ Or is it?  Is everything she does calculated? _

“Curious.  Very curious.”  Now she stops thinking and gets a determined aura about her.  “And all the more reason you need my aid. I shall be glad to show you what the Circle has to offer.  Have you thought about your Harrowing yet?” I do my best to keep the horror from my face.

“My what?”  She doesn’t seem too surprised.

“Your Harrowing, my dear.  It is a test all mages go through to prove themselves worthy of their power.  We cannot have the Herald of Andraste remain an apprentice for long, now can we?  You must train so you may be prepared for your Harrowing as soon as the Breach is sealed.  You must know how others perceive you is important in this world. It is best you follow what is expected to show you aren’t a heretic…”  Now she pases for emphisis.

“Or an Apostate.”   _ Well maybe I wanna be an illegal swamp mage, you don’t know me! _  But after this, Vivienne snaps her fingers to beckon a servant over.  “It was an honor to meet you, my dear, but I’m afraid I must be on my way.  Lots to pack, you know. Do feel free to enjoy the rest of the festivities.”  And with that, Madame de Fer’s heels click as she walks down the hallway with her elven servant, until she rounds a corner and is out of sight.

 

_ Well, if enjoy the festivities means cake, I’m there! _  I quickly twirl around and start speed walking back for the snacks.   _ I want that cake and I’m gonna get that cake! _  The foyer is empty now, but I can hear the murmur of people upstairs.   _ I guess they moved on or something.  _  With no one in here, it’s way too quiet and empty.  The echo in here is loud and bounces. But no people means no line and no line means all the cake!  But when I look for my prize, the snack table is empty. I see servants have already carried away the empty trays.  The tower the cake was on is gone. The only thing left on the table are those gross dirt abominations.  _ I’m going to file a complaint to customer service! _

 

When I climb into the rented carriage, only Cassandra and Varric are waiting for me.  I feel the jolt as the horse is whipped into movement and I almost fall over in my seat.

“So, how’d it go?”  Varric asks as he glances around at the landscaping.  I fiddle around in my pocket for the macarons I nicked.  When I pull one out, I see I’ve crumbled it. The supposed to be smooth top is crushed or dented in some places.   _ Just my luck… _

“I am never going to understand Orlais.”  

_ And all I wanted is cake... _


	15. Priory Meeting

  The second we get back to Haven, Leliana has summoned Cassandra and I to a war meeting as soon as we are able. The first thing on Cassandra’s list is to see Harritt to get her armor repaired. Solas had bolted off to his cabin, mumbling something about ‘research’. Varric is the last to leave, who just kind of shrugs at me.  
  “You have fun in your lion’s den, Dots. I’m going to get a drink.” And my dwarf buddy saunters off to the Tavern. Now having nothing better to do, I start to meander to the Chantry.

  The second I get there, a crowd has formed in front of the doors. In front of me are a group of mages gathered around someone. On the other side is a bunch of Templars. Just over the noise of the yelling, I can hear two people from the center arguing.

“Your kind killed the Most Holy!” _Oh crap, a fight’s going to happen! It doesn’t seem like anyone’s trying to stop this mess. I better do something, quick._ I crouch down, using my height to my advantage as I worm my way through mages robes skirts. Now I’m at the front of the circle and can see clearly what’s going on. A younger Templar has got his hand on his hilt, glaring at an older mage, who’s got his own staff at the ready.

"Lies- your kind let her die!” This is the breaking point for the Templar. His armor glistens in the cloudy sunlight, almost blinding me when he moves around.

“Shut your mouth mage!” He screams, now pulling out his sword. The crowd goes wild as he does, shouting obscenities at one another, starting to shove

“Hey! Knock it off!” I try to yell, but neither of the two men in the ring pay me any attention. Just as the Templar and Mage start to lunge at each other, a familiar face gets in between the two of them, shoving both backward with his hands.

“Enough!” Cullen roars, making the crowd die down in a heartbeat. The Templars immediately drop to a knee, crossing an arm over their chest, their heads bent to the ground.

“Knight-Captain Rutherford!” The attacker addresses the Commander with his old title. Cullen just seems miffed by that, to say the least.

“That is _not_ my title! We are _not_ Templars any longer. We are _all_ part of the Inquisition.” Now a new voice enters the conversation.

“And what does that mean, exactly?”

It’s Chancellor Rodrick. One of the clerics who survived the explosion at the Conclave, this jerk hasn’t been really doing anything other than being our resident naysayer. He thinks we ought to disband, elect a Divine, and have said Lady-Pope execute me for treason. I’m honestly surprised Leliana didn’t make him leave when she cleaned house. I thought I’d heard he’d left when we did for Val Royeaux, but I suppose he came back. He’s an old man with thick, dark eyebrows. The wrinkles in his face are only deepened by his constant frowning.

“Back already, Chancellor?” Cullen grumbles as he turns to address the man. “Haven’t you done enough?” Meanwhile, the Chantry man has his hands behind his back, his head tilted to the sky, his nose in the air like he’s superior to all of us.

“I’m curious, Commander, as to how your Inquisition and it’s ‘Herald’ will restore order as you’ve promised.” _Honestly, I wish more people didn’t believe I was Andraste’s Herald. Let me be a normal person for five minutes._ Cullen only sounds more and more annoyed for every second Rodrick and the crowd stands there.

“Of course you are.” He frowns while rubbing his temples. _Has he got a headache?_ Now he turns to the crowd of people who have been quietly watching. “Back to your duties, All of you! There’s nothing to see here!” And just like that, those people who were so quick to fight leave with their tails between their legs just as fast. Now Cullen and Rodrick resume their conversation without the angry onlookers. Neither of them have really acknowledged my presence, which lets me eavesdrop in plain sight.

“The Mages and Templars were already at war. Now they’re blaming each other for the Divine’s death."

“Which is why we require a _proper_ authority to guide them back to order.” _Again, this Rod never shuts up about Chantry this, Divine that,_ blahdy _,_ blahdy _, blah._

“Who, you?” Cullen snorts in response. I swear I can see the air puff out of his nose. “Random clerics, who were not important enough to be at the Conclave?”

“The rebel Inquisition and its so-called ‘Herald of Andraste’?” Now the old man waves a hand in my direction. _Wait, they knew I was here? Man, these guys are rude!_ “I think not.”

“She is not affiliated with me!” I yell out to no one in particular, trying my best to get the religious title off me. But some things are moot at this point. The Chancellor only rolls his eyes and gives a   ‘Humph!’ in response.

“So it would seem…” _What the heck does that mean? At least I’m in the conversation now. Might as well say something._

“So far, you seem to be the only person ranting about how we can’t play nice.” Rodrick doesn’t seem phased by the statement.

“We might, if your Inquisition would recognize the Chantry’s authority.” Now Cullen has something to say.

“There is no authority until another Divine is chosen.” _Wait, MY Inquisition?!_

“It’s not my Inquisition!” I chime in, but neither man seems to hear or care about what I have to say. Rodrick continues to address Cullen like a four foot eleven-inch apostate isn’t glaring at him so hard he ought to catch on fire.

“A Divine will be chosen in due time, with Andreste as our guide. Not some dazed wanderer on a mountainside.” _Dazed wanderer? I’m not trying to guide anything! I just don’t want to be set on fire!_

“I find that offensive!” I shout, stomping my foot into the snow. “The correct term is extra-terrestrial and I shall be addressed as such!” The Chancellor and Cullen just roll their eyes. _I swear to God if I could box their ears…_

“How come we’re keeping this old, wrinkly weasel here anyway?” I turn my head up to Cullen, who just glares at the fact I dare to speak to him directly.

“Clearly your _Templar_ knows where to draw the line, Mage.” _Must. Fight. Urge. To. Stick. Out. Tongue. At. Old. Man!_

“He’s toothless.” The Commander with a rug for a coat gruffly says. “There’s no point in turning him into a martyr because he runs at the mouth.” _No, all the more reason to chuck him out. But I guess if we did that then he’d just get us more enemies. But if that’s the case, why not chuck him in prison? We’ve got one, right? Crap, I’m turning into Leliana!_

“Think you can keep his word-vomit to a minimum?” Again, Cullen is grumpy that I talked to him.

“We shall see.” Is all he replies.

* * *

  
  Upon entering the Chantry I’m greeted by a gust of warm air. It’s nice and cozy and just makes me want to curl up on the floor like a cat. Once the door shuts, Josephine rises from a chair in an alcove of the hallway and greets me. I expected her to just smile, nod, and say hi, but because things never go the way I think they will, I’m pulled into a tight hug, with my face shoved into her chest.

“It’s good you’ve both returned unharmed. We’ve heard of your encounter.” Now Josie retracts from the hug, both hands on my shoulders, looking me over like a big sister would. “Are you alright? They did not light the pyre, did they?” I shake my head.

“I’m fine, Josie. Nothing happened. I’m just glad Cass-” Now the door walks in and the Seeker enters the room. _Man, I’m not close enough to use Cass around her yet!_ “...andra was there to look out for me.” I finished quickly. The Seeker gives a cough as she approaches the two of us. The Ambassador’s hands fall from my shoulders. Now Cass addresses Josie.

“Of course. But how did you-” Now Leliana strides down the hallway, her purple armor swinging as she walks.

“My agents in the city sent word ahead, of course.” Just as she reaches us, the Chantry doors open for a third time, with a Commander shutting the door firmly and beginning to stomp the snow off his boots

“It’s a shame the Templars have abandoned their sense as well as the capital.” He says with a huff as his joins our little circle, making sure to stay on the opposite side from me, as far away as social conventions deem appropriate. _Wait, now I’m confused._

“The capital?” I ask for any of them to answer. “I thought we were in Ferelden? How is Val Royeaux considered the capital?” _Someone explain I’m very confused._

“Because the seat of power for the Chantry is in Val Royeaux, many apart of the Chantry consider Val Royeaux their capital.” _Yay! Cassandra comes to the rescue!_ I tilt my head to look up at her, trying not to cry at the tall, raised ceilings of this place.

“But doesn't that get confusing?” Now Cullen growls an answer, clearly not liking the way the conversation has diverted.

“For some, yes.” _Did he just call me stupid? Did he really just call me stupid in front of my Sword mom, Pen aunt, and Stabby nun?_ I’mma _get Sera to prank the heck out of him. Vengeance will be mine you noodle-headed jerkwad!_

“Why can’t you just call Val Royeaux the Vatican or something?” Now Josie is the confused one.

“What is the Vatican you speak of?” Now I start to trail off. I don’t know much about the Catholic church… I just know the Vatican is a thing.

“It’s where the Catholics put the Pope, it’s like it’s own little city. I don’t know much else, I wasn’t brought up Catholic.” Now the Spymaster chimes in with a question.

“Catholics?”

“Pope?” Cullen can’t keep himself from asking.

“Like the Chantry but change some names and swap the genders for all the important ranks to guys. But anyway…” We can’t keep getting sidetracked, I want to get away from Cullen as much as he does me. “Besides all that stuff, at least we can approach the Mages now, right?” They each start nodding in turn, except Cullen, who’s still grumpy.

“Yes, but what of the Templars themselves? Lord Seeker Lucius is not the man I remember.”

“True.” Leliana agrees. “He has taken the Order somewhere, but to do what? My reports-” I cut her off as I raise my hand to speak, waving it around.

“Ooh! Ooh! I know! I can answer that!” But then as my hand lowers I notice all the people around us. There’s a lot of Chantry mothers, Vivienne is hiding in an alcove, I know that, and Mother Giselle has been watching the entire conversation from her post outside Josie’s office. “But, maybe in the war room?”

 

“Mmkay!” I loudly say the second Cassandra has shut the war room door. I poke the spot on the map labeled: Therinfal Redoubt. _...What even is a Redoubt anyway?_   “So, the downlow is: The Lord Seeker is actually somewhere else and an Envy demon has been pretending to be him. That thing is shoving that red rock candy down the Templar’s throats at the behest of something I can’t say yet, to make them freaky Red Lyrium Templar dudes.” They all look equally baffled at my word choice but I keep going.

“If we go there, that thing wants to eat me and pretend to be me and throw everything about the Inquisition out the window. It would suck. I don’t want to get eaten, so we’re going to Redcliffe.” I now poke the area south of Lake Calenhad a couple times to make my point. The advisors are stunned into silence as they process my ‘explanation’. Just like the previous meeting, Cullen is the first to speak, and as usual, disagrees.

“You think the mage rebellion is more united?” Now he points at the map angrily. “It could be ten times worse!” I just wave him off with a limp wrist.

“Pfft! Nah!” He does not like this reply but at this point, I don’t care. “They’re good! Just a desperate Tevinter dude who’s messing around with the timeline to force the Mage’s into his service before we get there. The Mage Rebellion sort of has their hands tied unless we do something.”

“But,” Cassandra now cuts in. “...if some among the rebel mages were responsible for what happened at the Conclave-”

“No.” I shake my head rapidly. “They weren’t.” Now the spymaster looks up from under her hood.  
  “Then... can you tell us who was?” She asks slowly, almost like she’s expecting a bad answer. Cullen isn’t too happy and bangs the table like a grumpy baby who wants more Cheerios.

“You all honestly believe the nonsense she’s spouting? An Envy demon as the Lord Seeker? Forcing the Order to take red lyrium? It wanting to eat her? Preposterous!”

“Cullen!” Josie shoots him a glare that I would never want to be on the receiving end of. Cullen retracts his hand from the table and stands still. “Everything she predicted from the Hinterlands to Val Royeaux happened as the Herald said! We have a good reason to believe her.” _Shun the non-believer! Shun! Shuuun!_ I turn to Leliana to answer her question.

“I’ll be able to tell you who was behind the Conclave after we secure the Mages as allies. But not before.” She sighs and crosses her arms, huffing in annoyance.

“I was afraid of that. But tell me, why so adamant on siding with the Mages?”

“I just want to.” Cullen really needs a timeout or a nap because he keeps having temper tantrums.

“Just want to?!” He practically shouts. “But the Mages let loose on their own can be dangerous!” I snort and whirl on him, slamming both my hands on the table.

“And how’s a buncha guys in tin cans going to plug a skyhole at least 4 thousand seven hundred and fifty-two stories high?! Shake their fist at it?” He only narrows his eyes at me. “The mages just make sense. They have the range and also fighting fire with… fireballs. So, yeah,” I now point at him with all the gumption of Phoenix Wright in a courtroom.

“I say mages and you can fight me on that!” For once I actually have stumped Cullen.

“You… Fight… What?!” He sputters in confusion. Josie now turns to me and speaks in an authoritative tone.

“No one is going to be fighting anyone in this room. Catherine…?” She says in a parental tone, as she fixes me with a look that burns my soul.

“I won’t actually fight Cullen…” I begrudgingly admit. _If I could, I might..._

"Where in the Maker’s name does 4 thousand stories come from?” Cassandra asks out loud in a confused tone. I leap back into talking mode.

“Okay, one time I got bored, see?” My hands start moving of their own accord as I talk, and it takes all I have to resist the urge to start pacing. “So, the first layer of the atmosphere is at most nine miles high, according to NASA. Let’s assume the Breech is there. The height of an average building story is about 10 feet. There’s, like, forty-seven thousand, five hundred and twenty feet in nine miles. So, just divide that by ten, which is just dropping the zero. So the Breech is about 4,752 stories high.” _At least, I think I did that math right… And that’s hoping the Breech is the maximum height. And assuming it’s in the atmosphere…_ Cassandra seems bewildered by the explanation.

“And how do you know that off the top of your head?” I nod a few times.

“Sometimes random facts come at random times.” Now Josephine cuts in to bring us back on track.

“Regardless of all this, we shall need to gather more influence before we are to go to Redcliffe. This meeting is dismissed. We shall think of other options to gather agents in the meantime. Thank you all for coming on such short notice.” With the Ambassador having given permission, we all slowly file out into the hallway. Cullen quickly stomps off toward the big doors outside. I hear Josie’s heels clicking on the tile as she goes back into her office just to the right. As I awkwardly and slowly walk down the hall to try and make sure I avoid Cullen outside, Leliana stops me.

“Herald, just a moment.” I turn around to see her approaching me with some reports in her hand. “There is one other matter. Several months ago, the Grey Wardens of Ferelden-” _Oh right, this is the Blackwall recruitment! Yay, Home Depot Beardy man!_

“-Vanished and so did Orlais.” I cut her off. Leliana doesn’t seem as surprised this time. “The timing is a bit suspicious so you wanted to look into it. A warden by the name is Blackwall has popped up in the Hinterlands and you want me to go talk to him about the disappearances?” After a few moments of silence, she gives some deep nods of her head.

“That… is the short of it, yes.” I just give a wave of my hand.

“No biggie, I was planning on it anyway.” The Spymistress seems confused. Her brow quirks as she looks me over.

“Planning on it?”

“I wanna recruit all the companions!” I explain a little too excitedly. “Blackwall is a companion.”

“Ah.” Is the clipped response she gives me. Now she gives me a mixture between a bow and a nod. “In that case, you know what to do, Herald.” Leliana says as she passes me, no further instructions needed.

 

“‘Scuse me.” I’m stopped by a figure waving to me as soon as I leave the Chantry. It’s a man with metal armor, about six foot at least. He’s got short brown hair, swept to the right, showcasing the undercut. “Got a message for the Inquisition, but I’m having a hard time getting anyone to talk to me.” _Oh, right! I forgot about Bull! That means I’m talking to Krem! Awesome!_

“And you’re….?” I ask, trying to keep from grinning.

“Cremisius Aclassi, with The Bull’s Chargers mercenary company,” Krem explains professionally, standing up straighter as he speaks. “We mostly work out of Orlais and Nevarra. We got word of some Tevinter mercenaries gathering out on the Storm Coast. My company commander, The Iron Bull, offers the information free of charge.” I nod along with him as he speaks. I see he’s got a paper tucked in his belt.

“If the Inquisition’d like to see what the Bull’s Chargers can do, I’ve got this letter with the details for the higher-ups to take a look at.” The second he finishes, he pulls the envelope out of his belt. I stick out my right hand, which Krem then places the letter in mine. On the seal keeping the flap shut is a black silhouette of Bull’s face, complete with the large horns that stick out on each side. _Cool beans._

“Sure, sounds good.” I tell him, sticking the letter in my pocket. “I’ll see you at the Storm Coast then.” Now Bull’s lieutenant looks perplexed. Krem just looks at me quizzically, his upper lip twitching on the right side.

“Huh?” _Oh duh, he doesn’t know who I am!_ I stick out my hand for him to shake.

“Wazzup? Name’s Catherine, I’m like, the PR guy for the Inquisition. Or most people call me the Herald, anyway.” Now Krem seems surprised to say the least, but he takes my hand anyway. He shakes once with a firm grip.

“Good to meet you, Your Wor-” Oh, not this again!

“Don’t.” I quickly cut him off. “Please, use my name, dude.” Now Krem clears his throat as he nods.

“Right then, Catherine. We’re the best you’ll find. Come to the Storm Coast and you can see us in action.”

“Sounds good! See you there!” He smiles as he salutes me and turns on his heel to head off somewhere. Guess I’m going to be meeting both Blackwall and Iron Bull soon. _Hope I don’t cry when I see a Qunari for the first time in real life…_

Now I don’t have anything to do. Again. I’m gonna get bored and cold if I keep standing in front of the Chantry. The sun’s starting to set, so it's too late to start helping Josie with deliveries. I guess I’ll see what Sera’s up to.


	16. Sera

“So, this is it, huh?”  Sera asks, tilting her head around.  The rogue wasted no time in calling me over.  She was sitting at a table in the Tavern, fletching some arrows or something.  She pulls a string with her teeth to pull a knot tight. I hear a zip noise, which she seems to wince at.  “Oh, no, it’s fine, yeah?” The Red Jenny says with the strip still in between her teeth. Makes it kinda hard to make out what she’s saying.  Now she spits it out and places the arrow in her quiver, making a face and running her tongue over her teeth.

“Blech!  Maker, I hate the way that feels.  The way it just… slips against my teeth.  It, like, tastes like I went a licked a cow.  Or a horse. Blech!” But now that Sera’s done making faces, she settles back in the chair, now leaning forward with a hand on her knee.  “Anyways, I just thought it’d be bigger. Haven, I mean.” After that, she starts giggling at something, a smirk quickly spreading across her face.  I can’t help but quickly add:

“That’s what she said.”  This only makes Sera holler even more.

“Pfft!  I know, right?!  That would have been hilarious if you were a man, right?  Wasted…” I can’t help but snicker along with her. “I knew I liked you, Lady Herald.”  She adds, before someone approaches our table. Flissa, the owner of The Singing Maiden, stands there, brushing a red bang from her eyes as she cleans a mug in her hands.   _How much did she overhear?_

“What can I get for you two ladies this evening?”  The two of us falter for a second, but Sera speaks first.

“I want a ale, yeah?  And, uhh… whatever food you got.  And bread!” Sera says, pointing at Flissa for emphasis.  “I want bread.”

“Same thing.”  I pipe up. “But, could I get a water instead?”  The elf in front of me makes a confused face but the Tavern owner makes no comment.   _I guess after a month of being here people are starting to get used to me._

“Course.  And how’re you going to be payin’ for that, missy?”  She looks only at Sera. The Red Jenny looks like a startled deer for half a second before she fishes around in her pockets.  I see she sticks her tongue out while muttering to herself. Once her hand comes out, all she’s got in her palm is two coppers and a silver coin.

“Piss!”  She grumbles.  “Friggin’ Seggrit gave me shite for them breeches!  I spent all the good stuff for arrows!” I wave off Sera before Flissa departs.

“Just stick it on my tab, Flissa.  Josie won’t mind.” The older woman nods respectfully.

“Of course, Your Worship.”  Now she spins on her heel and calls out to the kitchen in the back.  I can’t make out what she specifically yells over the dinner crowd in here.

In front of me, Sera looks pleasantly surprised.  The elf tilts her head a little to the left as she peers at me.

“You gotta tab here?”  I nod to her a couple times.

“Basically, I get almost everything around Haven free of charge.  Josephine has a tab for me and pays off my expenses every week.” _Not that I cost much, since we agreed to divert what pay I’d get for helping her to just pay off part of my tab.  Most of it goes to food because I have to eat or I’ll die. I keep forgetting to go to Harrit to get me measured for some armor and to get some kind of weapon.  Cass is harping me for that._  I shrug to Sera or myself, I can’t tell which.

“Being the Herald of Andraste has its perks, I guess.”  The elf nods along with me, before piping up with another question.

“So how come you ordered water?  Can’t hold your ale or somethin’?”  I shake my head at her. _I’ve been wondering when and who this topic would come up with._

“I don’t drink alcohol.”  Sera makes the same face when I explained to her I think I come from an alternate dimension.

“You’re barmy, mate!”   _I have no idea what she just said.  I keep forgetting she speaks British._  “Why though?”

“Where I come from, there’s an age limit.  I might be legally allowed to now, but I dunno, just don’t want to.  Personal choice.” _Besides, leaves more chocolate milk, apple juice, or lemonade for me.  Mwahahahahaha!_

At that second, Flissa sets down a couple tankards in front of us.  The second she leaves, saying our food’ll be here in a minute, Sera has already started gulping her ale.  I take a sip of my water. Thankfully, because there’s many refugees with young children and some of the Reverend Mother’s have taken a vow of sobriety, melting the abundance of snow around us is a non-issue for Flissa and her crew.

“That’s on you then, I guess.  Anyways,” My buddy says once she’s finished swallowing.  “Stopping wars ought to earn more sovereigns than this.” Now she slaps a palm on the table to make her point.  Some of my water almost slouches out of the mug. _Please don’t spill my drink on me, dude…_

“Need things back to normal for coin to be flowing again.  Another reason the Templars and Mages need to be sat down.”  Sera leans back in her chair again, drinking from her mug while she waits for a response.

“Don’t most people pick one side?”  I take another sip of the water. It’s not cold, but at this rate, I’m just glad it’s not yellow snow.

“Most people are stupid.”  Is all Red Jenny says while wiping her mouth.

“So where do you stand then, if most guys are stupid?”

“In the friggin middle, with everyone else.  You know what I hear about mages? Nothing until one goes all demony.  Know what I hear about Templars? Nothing, until they take ‘maybe-mages’ like you.”

“‘Like me?’”  Sera nods emphatically.

“Like, I heard people say you are, but people say all sorts of stuff.  Ain’t seen you throw a fireball or rant about Fade-y stuff like Baldy. Maybe you did it once, but I didn’t see it and I haven’t seen any since.  So there, maybe you’re a mage, a maybe-mage. But you’re not like thems that pick sides or whatever. They’re too busy to look up where the real questions are.”

 

While she’s talking, our food is slid in front of us.  It’s two bowls of soup. I can see vegetables like carrots, I guess elfroot, onion or something, potatoes (hallelujah!), and a meat of sorts in a vegetable broth.  Along with the bowls, Flissa provided a basket of rolls for us. But when I turn to thank her, she’s already left and is dealing with a group of rowdy soldiers in the back.  Sera immediately grabs a roll and tears into it greedily.

“So, what, are you looking for what caused all this in the first place or something?”  I ask before I start to blow on a spoonful of hot food.

“Maybe.  I dunno.”  She’s shoved her bread wad to the side of her cheek like a chipmunk, but I can still see bits of food when she chews. _Dude, close your mouth…_  “First thing’s first, right?  I help you-” Now she grabs a couple rolls from the basket and uses them to demonstrate, walking them like they’re feet.  

“-March-march-arrow-kick-”  She tosses the one in her right into the basket again and tosses the left one to me.  I manage to catch it with minimal fumble. _At least I didn’t drop it._ “Need to work on ya reflexes, yeah?”  Sera takes another bite of her roll and keeps talking.  “Then, stop people from being stupid and everything starts to make sense again.”  She crams the rest of the roll into her face in a move that would make Kirby jealous and swallows after a few seconds. _And here I thought I inhaled everything._  Now she smirks as she starts taking spoonfuls of vegetables and broth.  “Sound good to you, All Touched Lady Herald?” _Was that a flirt?  Does she always say that to girl Heralds?  Am I making more out of this than I should be?_

“Hey, punching idiots and saving the world sounds good to me.”  She grins and leans forward to give me a punch on the arm.

“Sounds good, Herald.”  Now she frowns to herself.  “‘Herald.’ Have to do something about that.”

“Or, you could just use my name?”  She shakes her head emphatically, her hair swinging wildly while she drinks again.

“Naah!”

“Did you just ‘naah’ me?”  Sera snickers at my retort.

“Catherine’s too long.  Too nobly. It’s too...meh.”   _I mean, I can’t exactly complain.  Get’s confusing when there’s at least five other people in a class with your name and everyone spells it differently._  “So I’m gonna give you a better one.”  I now take a bit of the roll I was given.

“If you want a nickname, Varric’s-”  She cuts me off with a face and raises her hands.

“You’re taking all the fun out of it!  That’s like, cheatin’ or whatever if I just use his.  Imma make a better one than ‘Dots’. That’s just too easy.”   _Again, she’s kind of got a point.  And if she wants something creative, then hopefully she’ll avoid the dreaded ‘Cat’ nickname_.

 

“Also, you lot need bees.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for your kudos and comments! I really appreciate it! It means a lot.


	17. Old Forgotten Words, Ancient Melodies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I had a really funny idea while trying to fall asleep at two a.m and this is that in filler chapter form. Please keep your hands and arms inside the vehicle and all times. Do not stand up while the vehicle is in motion and wait to exit until the ride has come to a complete stop. Please stand clear of the doors and have fun.

He’s never seen anything like this at all and is utterly confused.  Where are all the people? The air around him is still and no noise can be heard.  But this is the Fade, someone else's memory, such is to be expected. But as to who’s, Solas couldn’t figure it out.    The fauna around him was alien and bright, almost glowing in the bright sunlight. The floating mountains outside this facility took his breath away.  It almost reminded him of Arlathan, but wherever he was, it was no Arlathan.

When he first arrived, he ended up wandering down a roped off path.  A sign above him differentiated two lines, one titled ‘Standby’ and the other as ‘Fastpass’.  The elf wasn’t familiar with this Fastpass and while it sounded like the shorter path, his curiosity took him to wander the curved and ever-increasing slopes of the ‘Standby’.  This pathway leads him around small ponds with plenty of coins at the bottom, a number of strange plants, and sounds of animals he hadn’t heard before. They sounded like dragons, but he couldn’t be sure.  He continued to walk up the turns as they came, wondering just where this path leads. There were no spirits here and he had yet to find the owner of this memory. Now he found himself entering into a large cave with vaulted ceilings, lampposts, roots growing from the ceiling, and drawings all over the walls.  Upon closer inspection, the illustrations were ancient depictions of some breed of dragons. The more he looked at them, he found his mind being drawn back to times long ago, to his people, his childhood. However, the Dread Wolf shakes this off, even if it fills the hole his guilt makes in his heart. As he follows the line, he quickened his pace to keep himself from dwelling on old memories.  No matter how much he hates to admit it to himself, those days are gone. _Long gone._

After a minute or so, Solas finds the scenery changing from a cave to something… different. _The architecture is rigid and made of metal.  Almost dwarven, but not quite._  The elf isn’t quite sure how to describe it.   _This is all getting stranger._  As he rounds another corner, he finds a smaller room.  It’s a square, containing some type of cart and a familiar figure.  Catherine stands before him in an odd sort of dress. _Ah, this must be her memory?_

Her bright green shirt has no sleeves and is adorned with minimal jewels and some figure of a woman is depicted on the front.  How on earth she has gotten around without full pants is beyond him. The shorts she wears barely reach her knees. If she wore anything like that in Thedas she might be mistaken for a harlot.  The sandals she wears are a deep blue, a much darker shade than the strange cap she wears. The brim on the front casts a shadow over her forehead and if he squints Solas can swear he sees it glitter in the overhead light.  The girl plucks a treat from the cart, taking off the clear wrapping that makes a sound when she touches it. Upon turning and seeing him standing there, Catherine jumps and nearly drops what she’s holding.

“Dude!”  She yells out, looking at him, shocked.  “What are you…?” She begins to ask as she composes herself, but stops.

“Actually, why am I surprised?  This is your thing, of course you’d be here.”  Now she takes a bite of the food in her hand. It seems to be some sort of cake.  The bottom is brown, most likely chocolate, with a bright blue icing. “So, what’cha up to?”  The girl asks him casually, seemingly oblivious to the confusion on his face. He points to the object in her hand.

“What are you eating?”  Solas asks her slowly. She blinks a few times before answering.

“A brownie?”  Her tone indicates she’s confused to why he doesn’t know, but suddenly smacks herself on the forehead.  “Oh, duh! You don’t have these!” She gestures to the ‘brownie’ in her hand.

“It’s like a dense chocolate cake.  This one’s got icing on it.” She gestures to the cart beside her.  “Want anything?” Solas shakes his head. Right now he just wants answers, not food.

“Where are we?”  She’s eaten almost half the brownie in a matter of seconds.

“Flight of Passage.  Didn’t you see the sign?  The name of the ride is right there.”  His brow furrows deeply. That only leaves him more confused.  Before he can ask again, she’s swallowed the rest of her food and begins talking.  “Right, right, forgot. You guys don’t have theme parks. I’m an idiot.” Catherine wipes the crumbs off her lips and brushes off her shirt while she explains herself.

“This is a theme park.  It’s called Animal Kingdom, in Disney World.  This is one out of four parks. I’ve been going here ever since I was out of the hospital when I was born.  Some people in my family worked here. Anyway, a theme park is sort of like a future version on a ren fair… err, just a fair I guess.  Anyway, this is a ride, or it’s called an attraction. Where we’re standing is just the line for the ride. This one’s pretty long, but it’s cool.  I guess you’ve seen some of it already?” He nods. _This is a fair to her?  All of this?_  He knew her technology must be different once he saw her phone, but he never imagined this level of architecture just for a fairground.   _And if this is just a fair, what is the rest of her world like?_  The Herald gestures over her shoulder with her thumb.

“The attraction itself is down that way.  I was on my way to go ride it a few times, but then I got hungry.  Wanna go ride it with me?” Solas can’t exactly deny his curiosity, now only wanting to see what lies beyond these doors.

“That’s kind of you to offer.  I would gladly join you.” He says as he moves to follow her.  Catherine beams at him and hops a little like an excited child.

“Awesome!  This is gonna be so cool!  You’ll like it, it’s an amazing ride!  I waited five hours to ride this.” Now he’s genuinely surprised.

“You stood in a queue for… five hours?”  She nods, undeterred, even when he stops to gape at their new surroundings.

Everything around him glows in a brilliant color.  The plants and their leaves are all brilliant and blightingly bright.  He’s never seen that shade of green before or that type of blue. Solas would’ve kept staring at the objects in front of them, had Catherine not tugged at his arm.

“There’s a lot more stuff to see if you keep moving.  But, yeah, I stood here for five hours. This ride’s still new, so it’s pretty popular.  Plus I ended up going during a marathon weekend. That wasn’t a good idea.” Even Catherine’s shirt is faintly glowing. as well as his own clothing.  She seems to pick up on his fascination and points overhead.

“There’s a blacklight above us.  That’s what’s up with the colors.  Makes neon colors and glow in the dark pop up.  Whites do too, see?” She turns around, not slowing down as she walks backward, and grins at him, showing her teeth.  Indeed, the color of her teeth stands out much more in this light. As he looks up past the netting above them, he can see a strange, glowing, purple rod.

“By the way, you don’t get motion sick do you, Solas?”

 

* * *

 

That was the most exhilarated he’s felt in a long time.  Even in his youth, when his blood ran hotter, he’d never thought to try riding a dragon.  But after that… what did she call it? A simulation? Either way, a part of him wished that he had perhaps tried it, at least once.  Solas’ blood ran fast through his veins, as though lightning courses through him. He felt the urge to run like the wind, wherever his body would take him, but held himself back.  While his mind tries to process all of what he just saw he continues mulling over things he’d wished he had done.

Meanwhile, Catherine has been watching Solas stare in front of him with wide eyes, almost like a deer.  She can see a grin stuck on his face, almost like a kid that got a giant wad of cotton candy all to himself.  It’s quite an odd sight and she wished she had a camera, but alas, no. Just a funny mental image to keep to herself.  

“Hey, Solas.”  The elf doesn’t respond to her.

“Sooolas?”  Nothing. “Soooooolaaaaaassss!”  He says again loudly. Solas blinks but still isn’t out of his daze.

“Oy, Chuckles!  You in there? Stoney?  Hello? Heellloooo! Hello-”  She waves her hands in his face, but after doing so for a couple seconds, his hand suddenly whips out to stop her wrist.

“Again.”  He lets go of her wrist, snapped out of whatever trance he was in.  “I want to ride again.” She can hear the excitement bubble in his voice, like how he nerds out about the Fade normally.  Catherine snickers at him.

“I guess you like the ride, huh?”  Solas quickly tries to recompose himself, regretting he let himself show that side to her.  He clears his throat. “If you wanna ride it again, we can. Or I could show you some other stuff?”  Now she has his interest again. If only one ride was that exhilarating, what else did this park have to offer?  Catherine begins to exit the room they stand in and he follows suit.

“So, you like it?”  Asks his companion again as she easily speedwalks down the stairs of the exit.  Solas almost laughs to himself.

“That was… quite thrilling.”  Catherine eagerly nods back to him in agreement.

“I wish it were longer, though.  And that there were more drops like in the beginning.”  He hums in agreement as they stop at the bottom of the steps, as though she’s unsure of where to go.  “That and I wish the glasses fit my head…” The Herald almost pouts to herself at the notion. Solas tilts his head quizzically.

“Was there a problem?”  She tilts her hand back and forth.

“I mean. I had to hang on with one hand while I kept the glasses on my face, but it wasn’t so bad.  Just sorta took me out of the experience. Anyways!” She claps her hands together before gesturing to her surroundings.  “What else do you wanna do?”

 

Solas pauses for a minute thinking.  While he enjoyed the ride quite a bit, the more he thought about spending the rest of his time in the Fade riding it would take from seeing what else her technology had to offer.  It’s been so long since he’s seen new things in the Fade. While the things he’s learned of Thedas’ history while he slept has been interesting, it always reminds him of his failures and mistakes.  This, by comparison, is much more entertaining.

“You said there were multiple parks here?”  He asks, looking around at a few buildings that match the area they’re standing in.  He sees a store filled with merchandise close by. A restaurant is a distance away. He can’t quite make out the name from here.  Catherine nods in answer.

“Yeah, there’s three others.  I mean, since there’s no people here I’d recommend the Magic Kingdom, just because it’s usually so crowded.  But I also don’t know what kind of rides you like. If you’re into more thrill-based stuff, then maybe the Studios would be up your alley.  Or if you’re into my tech and stuff, maybe EPCOT? Either way, I’ve been doing this for two decades, it’s your pick Solas.”

“Well, since you’ve been here before, you know this place better than I.  As such, it is only natural that I let the decision fall to you.” She frowns a little but concedes to him.

“Okay then.  The buses are at the front, so we should make our way…”  She turns around, glancing at the different landmarks. “I don’t actually know where to go from here.  I guess walk around until we find a sign? That way we can take a bus to the Magic Kingdom.” As curious as he is to what a bus looks like, Solas shakes his head at the idea.

“This is the Fade.”  The elf reminds her. “Your surroundings are simply a matter of will and imagination.  If you concentrate, you can take us there.” Her eyes widen a touch before making a face.

“Oooh yeaaaah!”  She says a little too loudly.  “I keep forgetting that…”

* * *

 

The two of them stand in the center of a large room.  The queue for this attraction had them walking through a graveyard filled with… interesting tombstones.  Some for decor with morbid rhymes and others that one could interact with. The only ones Solas had paid attention to was a crypt Catherine insisted on pushing keys on an organ that was on the side, and the casket of a sailor that occasionally spit out water.  Now the two of them stood in the center of a round room with various portraits, while a disembodied voice spoke with accompanying organ music. After turning his head to follow the voice, but find no source, Catherine supplied it was an audio trick, that it was coming from various speakers hidden around the room.

“Welcome, foolish mortals, to the Haunted Mansion.  I am your host. Your ghost host.” The ‘ghost host’ chuckles to himself.  Beside Solas, Catherine is grinning like a child, eagerly awaiting whatever comes next.  “Kindly step all the way in, please. And make room for everyone. There’s no turning back now…”  He hears something slide shut behind them in the back of the room. Probably the door they had come from.  Now, the host speaks to the left.

“Our tour begins here in this Gallery, where you see paintings of some of our guests as they appeared in their corruptible, mortal state.”  Now the voice jumps to the left and Solas has to steel his reflexes from summoning a fireball to attack what would normally be a demon. “Your cadaverous pallor betrays an aura of foreboding.  Almost as though you sense a disquieting metamorphosis.” Just as the voice jumps to the left again, Catherine taps his shoulder and silently points at the paintings. Indeed, they are changing; slowly getting taller, revealing more than was originally there.  A girl with a parasol, an old woman, a man in a top hat, and another man posing.

“Is this haunted room actually stretching?  Or is it your imagination, hm?” Just as the host jumps again, out of the corner of his eye he can see Catherine moving her mouth, yet making no sound.  Upon stealing a longer glance, it appears she’s mouthing along with whatever the host says. While she does this her face becomes much more animated and takes on a variety of exaggerated facial expressions.  Why is she doing this? Simply to amuse herself? How does she know what he’s going to say and when? Her timing is almost perfect, her face matching the speaker’s inflections flawlessly.

“And consider this dismaying observation.  This chamber has no windows and no doors.” Catherine mimes the wicked chuckle, almost believable coming from her, if the voice weren’t a man’s and bouncing all over the room.  “Which offers you this chilling challenge. To find a way out!”

Just as the Ghost Host bursts into a peel of laughter, Catherine has placed her right hand under her chin, the Mark glowing a bright green, lighting her face as she mimics the evil laughter.  Now she turns and meets his eye as the next line is spoken.

“Of course, there’s always my way…”  It’s hard to tell in this lighting, but she might have just wiggled her eyebrows at him.  Quickly removing the mark from under her face, it stops glowing as she points for him to look upward.  A clap of thunder and flash of lightning reveal a man above them, hanging dead from a rope. A yell of fright vibrates across the room, and a door to Solas’ left shudders opens.  As Catherine walks to the open door, she continues to mime the Host’s dialogue. “Oh, I didn’t mean to frighten you prematurely. The real chills come later. Now, as they say: Look alive, and we’ll continue our little tour.  And let’s all stay together, please.” Past the door is a hallway, lined with bars to create the queue. In front of him, the Herald of Andraste is having a giggle fit. She turns to look at him, either to gauge his reaction or just share her excitement.  Either way, Solas finds himself smiling at her antics.

“I love this ride so much.”  Catherine murmers to herself as she speeds along their path.

“I can imagine.”

 

“So the ride was originally supposed to be a walk-through tour, but it got changed to that ride system, I think after the popularity of the Peoplemover?”  Solas has no clue what she’s rambling about as they step into the bright sunlight. Again, his mind is filled to the brim with things he wants to ask her, but he isn’t quite sure just what to ask.  “And also two of the designers were in a tizzy about whether to make the ride uber dark like in the beginning or more lighthearted like after the attic scene. I think it was Marc Davis who designed a lot of that portion.  He’s the same guy who was Tinkerbell’s lead animator in Peter Pan and also I think he designed a lot of Pirates of the Caribbean.”

“What is Pira-”  She’s talking so quickly he can barely keep his thoughts together and process the information Catherine’s telling him at the same time.  In the short time he’s known her, he’s never seen her this excited or this talkative.

“It’s another ride,”  She quickly answers him as they walk down a pathway.  She glances around a bit before pointing to the right, across a small lake.  “I think Adventureland is down that way? Anyway, it’s a boat ride, sorta like this, same sort of thing.  Just riding along and looking at animatronics.”

“What are… animatronics?”  She just shrugs and waves her hand to follow her to the left.

“It’s a robot.”  The elf narrows his eyes in confusion.

“A what?”

“It’s a…  It’s a… au...autom… automimatan?”  She struggles to pronounce the word.

“Automaton.”  He supplies for her.  Catherine gleefully nods and snaps her fingers, pointing at him.

“Yeah, that thing!  They’re like that. That’s what all the ghosts-”

“Spirits!”  Solas quickly spit out.  He hates when people lump the two together.

“Noooo?  The **ghosts** were audio-animatronics.  I can’t quite remember if they were hydraulic or not?  Or if they started out as electric before switching to hydraulics later on...with the newer models?  The A-1-13’s? No wait, that’s the easter egg. I don’t know what serial the animatronics were-” Before Catherine can keep talking, Solas places a hand on her shoulder, the action both cutting her off and stopping her in her tracks.

“Just where are we going, da’len?”  He mentally smacks himself for letting the endearment slip out so casually.  If the Herald noticed, she makes no comment.

“I was thinking of showing you a different type of attraction, it’s like a show, where you sit down and watch versus the ride system we were just on.  You okay with that?” The elf can only shrug. At this rate, following her is the best option he has.

“Lead the way.”  Eagerly, the Herald grabs ahold of his wrist and drags him forward down the street.

“You’re a history nerd, I think you’ll get a kick out of it.”  Catherine continues to gab and she quickly pulls him along. “I think it’s going to be on the…. Ah-ha!  Here we are!” Now she lets go and stands proudly in the doorway.

_Hall of Presidents?_

* * *

 

_We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they’re endowed by their creator with certain unalienable rights, that among these are: life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness._  Those words spoken at the beginning of the show still ring in his mind, as Solas watches keenly the performance in front of him.  Another disembodied voice speaks, this time of history and a people he’d never seen. Images appear before his eyes, each showing men and woman whose names he didn’t know, but whose history fascinates him.

Catherine’s people were those who fought for their freedom from their mother country, fought by tooth and nail and blood for an equal say in their government.  How they created their own nation where the people chose its ruler. How as they grew complacent, they fought each other over states rights and slavery. _Slavery…_  That thought still boils his blood even after all these years.  Solas sees himself in some of these men. Like those revolutionists he had led his own rebellion, to free his own people from bondage and topple the elite he so despised.

As Solas tries to get comfortable in this odd chair, the curtains on stage part to reveal a man slowly rising as the lights appear.  No, that isn't a man. Catherine had described it as an automaton of sorts. It may look like flesh, but inside are gears and wires made to move startlingly realistically.  Solas can’t tear his eyes away while he drinks in the speech playing on the speakers around the two of them in this otherwise empty hall.

“Four score and seven years ago, our fathers brought forth on this continent a new nation.  Conceived in liberty and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal.” Solas leans forward and folds his hands, trying to memorize every word.  “Now we are engaged in a great civil war, testing whether that nation or any nation so conceived and so dedicated can long endure. We are met on a great battlefield…”

When the man is done with his dedication, he sits gracefully and the curtains fold again.   More images appear, with more history. Slavery was abolished, but the former slaves were not a truly free people, similar to his own people as they suffer under a human thumb.  The was an expansion into the west, opening more territory and land. After a technology boom, the world went to war twice. They survived the global economy crashing, modern weapons that would make the Qunari turn in fear, and had even gone into the stars…  All things Solas had never thought possible in his wildest dreams.

 

By the time the show is over, he feels almost in a trance as the house lights come on.  Catherine stands up beside him, stretching her arms and cracking her neck.

“That’s the only show these days that ever makes me feel patriotic.”  She half says to herself. “But admittedly, that show isn’t playing here anymore, not that version anyway.”  Now Solas looks up at her, finally finding the voice to speak.

“Why show me this performance, then?”  She looks at him, with an almost sad look in her eye.

“The guy who’s been elected president after Obama… well… I don't really want to talk about him.  Let’s leave it at that.” He nods, biting his tongue from asking her more.

“What are your people called?”  Solas asks instead, watching her with interest.

“Kind of depends on where you go.  Some people identify first by their town or state, other’s by region, maybe just the United States as a whole.  Personally, I’m an American, but I like to think of myself as a human. Too much patriotism leaves a bad taste in my mouth, honestly.”  Around them, he can see particles of the Fade beginning to flicker in and out. _Catherine must be waking up._   His mind has a million questions he wants to ask.  Just how did that man rise from

 

“Anyway, where do you want to-”  She stops, peering at him confused.

“Hey, Solas, where are you-”  But she’s cut off as her form vanishes when her consciousness leaves the Fade.   

Solas is left alone in the Hall of Presidents, sitting by himself, watching the show start up again as he waits for morning to wake him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm writing Blackwall and Bull's introduction chapters, so the plot will be back shortly!


	18. There Can Be Only One

  So, it turns out that game mechanics that force you to only pick three traveling companions doesn’t apply in real life.  That or Sera was just super bored and tagged along with my usual trio as we went trekking through the Hinterlands. Sera and Varric seem to get on well enough, chatting about random stuff or whatever comment pops out of their mouth.  I only really interject with grunts or laughter. The Seeker and Solas stay out of it. Of course, Cassandra is leading the party and on bear-watch. Solas seems to be pretending he’s doing something else, but I’m starting to pick up on his mannerisms.  When he eavesdrops, he tends to get a little stiffer, his eyes occasionally darting to his focus, and seems to be exaggerating his nonchalance. _But maybe all that is just an act to deflect suspicion he’s actually a rebel spy leader and master of subterfuge?  I wish I could pin him down somehow!_

  “Oy, you can make magic anywhere, Solas.”  Sera says out of the blue to the elf. The two of them do not get along, but I already figured that.  Solas thinks she’s an immature brat who’s disowned her elven heritage. Sera, meanwhile, figures Solas is a grumpy know-it-all with his head stuck up a billion years ago.  Or his own ass. Depends on her mood. The man in question briefly twists around to look at her but makes a noise of acknowledgment. “Ever piss it by accident?” He frowns to himself, pausing for at least five seconds.

  “No.”  He says quickly, before stopping briefly for a couple seconds.  “Wait… No.” He decides, moving on again. Sera picks up on his hesitation quickly, jumping forward from walking alongside me to move parallel to him, but leave a good distance between them.

  “What? How would you not remember something like that?”

  “We were all young once,”  Solas says with a shrug, ending the conversation then and there.  Getting bored by this newfound bought of silence, Sera now targets Cassandra.

  “Seeker!”  She cups her hands and belts out to our only warrior.  I hear her grunt in response. “What’s the old Inquisition motto, again?”  I can tell from the back of her head Cassandra is gritting her teeth and refraining from her usual ‘Uggh’.

  “I am not saying it again, Sera.”   _Hold up, there’s an Inquisition motto?  Or does Sera mean the previous Inquisition, since she said ‘old’?_

  “Come on!”  Sera begs. “Please?”  The Seeker’s short cropped hair and single braid shake left and right.

  “No.”  She says firmly.

  “Pleeeese?”

  “No.”

  “Pretty please with a cherry on top?”  I except Cass to say ‘No and that’s final.’ but instead she grumbles a bit before caving to Sera’s request.

  “‘Into darkness, unafraid.’”  It’s clear Sera had a punchline ready because she responded without missing a beat:

  “Around the corner chocolate’s made!”  Before laughing loudly at her own joke.  I can’t help but snicker. _That’s really funny._

  “Hey, Cassandra!  Can we make that our motto?”  I call out to the front. Both Cassandra and Solas are unimpressed.

  “Maker preserve us.”  Cassandra groans to herself.  I can barely hear her over the sounds of a running river in the distance.  We must be getting close to the lake. _To Blackwall._

  “Yes!  You’re the best!”  Sera grins at me, now giving me a couple jabs on the arm.   _Must be a sign of affection for her._  “I friggin’ love you, mate!”

_‘Around the corner chocolate’s made’.  That reminds me of a rhyme me and my friends used to tell when walking home from school in elementary._

_What’cha doing?  Eating chocolate.  Where’d you get it?  Doggy dropped it. Where’d he drop it?  In the sewer. What’s it taste like? Cow manure._

  I make myself laugh at the memory as the five of us start to climb the bank to the lake.  Standing beside a hut on the left bank are at least four men with basic swords and shields.  In front of them paces a well-equipped man with heavy armor and an impressive head of hair. _Yoooo, it’s my dude!_

 

  “Remember how to carry your shields.  You’re not hiding, you’re holding. Otherwise, it’s useless.”   _Right, now’s my cue to speak._  I start to approach the man drilling these… I guess they’re commoners.

  “Warden Blackwall?  Sir?” _Liar, liar, beard on fire._  The second I say his name, he whips around, his hand ready to draw his sword.  When he sees me, he relaxes a little, more confused now. _That beard is magnificent though.  Like, beard goals level of beard. Like, Ron Swanson levels of epic._

  “You’re not-”  Blackwall starts to ask and stops.  “How do you know my name? Who’s-” All of a sudden, the sound of an arrow whizzing pierces the air.  In the nick of time, the Warden raises his shield, saving my head from getting pierced. In the next second, various mercenaries rush out from behind the trees, yelling as they raise their weapons high.  Blackwall quickly switches gears, his weapons drawn in an instant.

  “That’s it, help or get out.”  He gruffly instructs. “We’re dealing with these idiots first!  Conscripts!” He runs to address his men.

  “Here they come!  You know your positions!  Don’t let them break you! Stay in formation!”

 

  As the Mercs approaches his little band, I can see the men shaking in their boots, but they hold fast, blocking incoming attacks with their shields and hesitantly swiping at the opponents with their blades.   _They have about as much experience as I do…_

  Because I’m shorter than a mage’s staff and still can’t manage a single spell, I carry a short sword big enough for me to be a longsword.  I haven’t had any time to learn how to use it, since I got it just before we headed out, so I pray I don’t have to use it in this fight. The only way I’d hope I could win is by doing my best impression of Link from the Legend of Zelda.  TO make myself useful, I carry Sera’s extra arrow and her suggested bee grenades. Just as Cassandra rushes past me to aid Blackwall, and Solas moves forward to freeze another mercenary with a spell, I dart to Sera’s aid, bees at the ready.  I can hear Bianca firing rapidly like a crossbow machine gun. _I wonder just how many people Varric could take down on his own?_

  “Light the next one, yeah!”  Sera yells over her shoulder at me.  Quickly, I take an arrow from her quiver as I pull out a jar of bees.  I say jar, it’s more the size of a large vial. As the name implies, it’s filled with bees.  At this point, they’re just laying in the vial or on the walls. Feeling awful about it, I shake the jar to tick them off.   _Sorry, little guys..._  It works, and they start buzzing to and fro and hitting the sides of the glass.  There’s a piece of string tied around the top of the vial, and I use that to tie a tight knot onto the arrow.  Sera’s already shot at a merc hiding behind the tree. I hand her the bee-arrow. As she knocks the arrow, she yells out to Blackwall, who is fighting the mercs.  There’s about three of them, all trying to gang up on him.

  “Oy!  Beardy-Warden!  Book it!” She yells as she fires the bees into the crowd.  Blackwall immediately takes the hint, ducking backward. The arrow hits a guy in the foot and the vial shatters, realizing the angry bees.  The other mercs start to scream and panic as the bees sting the ever-loving daylights out of them. _I didn’t even think Adan could shove that many bees in there!_  The last remaining three mercs have dropped their swords and headed for the hills, still screaming from the bees.

 

  Now the fighting is over.  Warden Blackwall plants his blade into the dirt and walks over to one of the dead men.  He crouches down beside the body, looking at him a few long moments. I see his hand move gently over the face, shutting the man’s eyes.

  “Sorry bastards…”  The man grumbles as he rises.  Now he addresses the conscripts he had with him.  All of them managed to survive the battle. “Good work, conscripts.  Even if this shouldn’t have happened, they could’ve…” He pauses.

  “Well… Thieves are made, not born.  Take back what they stole. Go back to your families.  You saved yourselves.” Gratefully, they all salute him before sheathing their weapons and moving to start looking for something.  Now that he’s free, Blackwall approaches me. The rest of my companions stand behind me, staying silent during the conversation.

  “You’re no farmer.  How do you know my name?  Who are ya?” The man asks me.  Thankfully, I’ve been repeating what I’m going to say over and over in my head for the past five minutes, so hopefully, I don’t trip over my words.

  “I’m with the Inquisition.  I was tasked with the investigation on whether the disappearance of the Wardens of Orlais and Ferelden is connected with the murder of the Divine.  My sources led me to you and I came to ask you about the situation, sir.”

  “Maker’s balls!”  Blackwall coughs, his eyebrows shooting up skyward.  I flinch at the expression. As ever, swearing makes me uncomfortable.  “Pardon my tongue, lass.” Blackwall quickly apologizes.

   “But the Wardens and the Divine, that can’t-  No, you’re asking so you don’t really know. First off, I didn’t know they disappeared.  But we do that, right? No more Blight. Job done. Wardens are the first thing forgotten.  But one thing I’ll tell you, no Warden killed the Divine. Our purpose isn’t political.” I fight the urge to roll my eyes or snort.   _Say that to King Warden Alistair and the fact I chose the King of Orzammar.  And that stupid line is what kept the Wardens from interfering with the Qunari situation in Kirkwall when they started massacring and taking hostages.  So don’t ‘we’re no political’ me, sonny._

  “I’m only gathering intel.  No charges have been filed. Have you seen anyone else in the Order lately?” _Of course, he hasn’t, they vanished.  Why did I even ask?_  Blackwall shakes his head slowly.

  “I haven’t seen any Wardens for months.  I travel alone, recruiting. Not much interest because the Archdemon is a decade dead and no need to Conscript because there’s no Blight coming.  Treaties give Wardens the right to take what we need. Who we need.” _That isn’t how it works!  The treaties only say that during a Blight, certain groups or organizations are required to help the Wardens defend the Blight.  I should know. I got them from Flemeth. I used them to raise my army. I_ **_killed_ ** _the Archdemon thank you very much!_  “These idiots forced this fight, so I ‘conscripted’ their victims.  They had to do what I said, so I told them to stand. Next time they won’t need me.”   _But then they’re not really conscripts, are they?_

  “Grey Wardens can inspire, make you better than you think you are.”

  “That was nice, but not the info I was looking for.  Now we’re back where we started… Thank you for your help.  I appreciate it, sir. We’ll be going now.” I turn around, walking away slowly.  I know he’s going to stop me, saying he wants to join. _Any second now…_

 "Wait, Inquisition… agent?”  The Warden calls out. I turn around and he quickly walks over.  “Lass, hold a moment. The Divine is dead and the sky is torn. In times like these thinking we’re absent is almost as bad as thinking we’re involved.  If you’re trying to put things right, maybe you need a Warden.” _I am a Warden._  “Maybe you need me.”  I smile at him and stick out my hand.

  “On behalf of the Inquisition, I gladly accept your offer.”  He shakes my hand, roughly.

  “Good to hear.  We both need to know what’s going on.  And perhaps I’ve been keeping to myself for too long.  This Warden walks with the Inquisition.”

 

* * *

 

  Granted, it’s better than when I tried to seal the Breach, but just getting close to a rift hurts my hand.  Whenever the Mark sparks to life, almost like a metal-detector for holes in the Fade, it feels like when my hand is trying to wake up, only instead of tingling, it’s like tiny needles.  Closing the Rift itself is more painful. Just the flow of energy from my Mark to the rift feels like something is racking its nails or claws down my forearm to my fingertips. When the last of the rift’s on the farmland is closed, I turn to my companions and try not to show the pain.  I don’t know if I succeeded. Most of them are looking a little apprehensive, but I figure since the Breach caused me to faint they might be worried it could happen again. Blackwall, meanwhile, his eyes wide and his jaw slacks.

  “I… Catherine,  you’re… Herald…”  He manages to sputter out.  “Forgive me, my lady, I didn’t know it was-”  I quickly shake my head as I walk back to the group, flexing my right hand a little.

  “Blackwall, it’s fine.  I’m the one who forgot to tell you.  Guess I’m just used to people knowing…”  He meekly nods in agreement.

  “Of course, your Worship, I-”   _I’ve had enough of that shit by now!_

  “Don’t even start!”  I snap at the man, angrily pointing my right finger at him.  I can feel the Mark still buzzing from the rift. “I told you my name with the expectation you’d use it!  I didn’t spend my whole life as some holy figure or some stupid noble! You think I’m used to all these expectations all these people, you, laid on me?!  That I have to run around with people expecting me to have all the answers, that I alone will seal the Breach and save us? You actually think I can handle that kind of leadership?!”  I just keep talking, unable to contain myself. At this point I’m just angrily pacing back and forth, my hands launching into the air for emphasis.

  “I haven’t even gotten my college degree yet!  I don’t know how to buy a house! Do taxes! Hell, I’m scared of driving a car by myself!  I’m just… I’m just a kid who got thrown into this mess with no warning! I…” I can’t hold back much longer.  I’ve been trying not to think about it. Trying to shove it to the back of my head, hoping I’d forget. But now it just feels too real.  My throat feels like it’s closing, my chest feels tight. My eyes are starting to blur and my face is wet. The only thing I can do to save my dignity is ducking my head from all of them.

  “I wanna go home…  I want my mom, my dad.  I miss them, everyone. I miss my cats, my school, my bed…  I miss my life the way it was… I just wanna go home again.”  

 

  There’s an awkward silence from my companions, where the only sound is me desperately trying not to sob.   _Is this how Solas feels?  Since he got dragged from what he called home?  Did he spend his first days after he woke up feeling like this?  Did he cry like I am? Does he still feel like this? All the time?_  Suddenly, I’m pulled into a tight, crushing hug.  I find my face is now in Blackwall’s quilted gambeson.  My lip quivers as I try to not choke out another sob. I feel his hands awkwardly pat me on the back as his hugs me.  After a few seconds, he pulls back, but keeps a hand on my right shoulder, giving it a hard squeeze.

  “We’ll fix this mess, Lassie.”  He says in a soft tone. “All of us are behind you, together.”  Now he thumps his fist to his chest in a salute.

  “I swear by my sword, Maker be damned, I’ll do my best to get you back to wherever you're from, that’s a promise.”

_I’ve only known him for a few hours and he’s already hugged me…  Despite what he’s done in his past, he’s a good man now. I can tell._  Now Sera bolts up to me and starts jabbing me hard in the arm.  I wince and yelp at the gesture and then she grabs me by the shoulders and whips me to the side to face her.

  “You may not be home, but too bad,”  She says a little too loudly. “I’m your family now.”  She pokes me in the chest a couple times to make her point.  

  “We’re sisters!  Imma shoot anyone who gives you shite about it in the arse.  Got it?”

  “G-Got it…”  I’m not crying as hard now and it’s easier to smile at her.  I wipe at my eyes to get rid of the blur. Now it’s Cassandra’s turn to join the comfort circle.  Now that Sera’s let go of her tight grip on my arms, the Seeker gives me a squeeze in the same place Blackwall had.

  “As I said in Val Royeaux, I am always here if you need advice.  That said, if you ever need to talk about your problems, you should not bottle them up.  Whenever you need to talk, I am here.” She quickly turns away, a little embarrassed, as she pats my shoulder.

  “And I as well, should you need support,”  Solas says from Blackwall’s left. The sunlight flashes in his eyes like light does a cat’s. _I keep forgetting that’s an elf thing._  “Losing one’s home and family in a second would be devastating to anyone.”  He adds.

  “Let alone someone of your age.” _Let alone traveling thousands of years in the future..._

  “Thanks, guys.”  I say, trying not to sniffle because their support is starting to make me cry again.  “It means a lot.”


	19. Them Horns

“Chargers!  Stand down.”  The not-Minotaur man orders his group of mercs.  Around us on a rocky, stormy beach lie a ton of other mercenaries.  Tevinter and not the nice kind. “Krem! How’d we do?” The one-eyed man with grey skin asks Krem as his lieutenant strolls over.

“Five or six wounded, Chief.  No dead.” _That’s good, I’m glad the Chargers are okay._  Krem tries to brush his undercut out of his face, but the rain-soaked strands keep obscuring his eyes.

“That’s what I like to hear.  Let the throat-cutters finish up, then break out the casks.”  Bull says while he sheaths his great-axe on his back. At the order of drinks, Krem looks much more enthused and gives a hearty salute.

“Aye, sir!”  The warrior belts out before turning on his heels to find the booze barrels.   _What is a throat cutter anyway?  Like, the people who run around killing the dudes who didn’t die?  Sounds messy…_  As I’m lost in thought, the hulking Qunari begins to walk over to where I’m watching from the sidelines.  I can see my party watching from the hill in case anything goes wrong. _I mean, a little support would have been great.  Yeesh!_

“So, you’re with the Inquisition, huh?”  

 

_Holy fuck is he tall!_

 

The Iron Bull absolutely towers over me.  The top of my head barely reaches his torso.  I can only gape at him like an idiot as my brain tries to process this giant, buff, horned dude in front of me.  Bull’s got a lot of scars on his skin and a lot of visible cuts. But he was just in a fight, so that makes sense.  What doesn’t make sense is the fact he’s not wearing armor. The only thing he wears that might count as that is a leather shoulder guard on his right.  Otherwise, no shirt. Period. And I doubt the MC Hammer pants and WWE belt count as armor either. I remember something in the game’s codex that the Qunari have some type of war-paint that acts like armor, but I see none on Bull.   _Is he into showing off the scars?  Shirts just don’t go over the horns?  Why is there no shirt?!_

“Glad you could make it.”  He addresses me while I attempt to look like I’m paying attention.   _At least I was able to close my mouth.  I feel dizzy just from looking up at him._  Looking at the way his horns stick out, I can see just why he chose ‘Iron Bull’.   _Guy could give the Longhorn Steakhouse logo a run for its money._ “Come on, have a seat.  Drinks are comin’.” _Wait a sec, his voice sounds really familiar…  Like…_

_No way…  It can’t be, can it?  Holy mother of pancakes on a stick, that’s Fred from the Scooby-Doo movie!  The same guy who said: ‘I can look at myself naaaaked’ voices Bull! Oh my god I’m talking to Freddie!  In circus tent pants! With horns! And an eyepatch! Also a goatee/mustache thing!_

Bull has noticed my silent freak out and looks at me perplexed.

“You okay there?”  He asks, sounding a little hesitant.  The only thing that comes out of my mouth is whatever is in my head.

“You’re really tall.”  I remembered to blink.  “Like… really tall.” Unsurprisingly, Bull just lets out a hearty chuckle.   _Thank god he’s not offended._

“Yeah, plenty of people say that the first time they see my type.”

“I take it you're Iron Bull?”  I mean, I know he is but I can’t just say that out loud.  Iron Bull still has half a smile on his face as he points a huge finger at his head.

“The horns gave it away, right?”  Now he gestures for me to follow him.  Just like in the cutscene, he sits himself down on a rock like it’s an easy chair.  This makes him eye level with me. Honestly, this minotaur man with cow horns acting casual with a giant axe across his back and blood everywhere just seems even scarier up close.  I can tell he’s watching me like a hawk, making a mental note of everything I do. _Maybe he’s suspicious over the fact I’ve been running around saying I’m from an alternate universe?  I know he doesn’t like the Fade or demons, so is he putting me in that camp?_ As I continue mulling over Bull’s angle, a familiar pair of footsteps approaches the two of us.  Bull gesture’s at Krem with a nod. “I assume you remember Cremisius Aclassi, my lieutenant.”  His lieutenant gives a respectful nod to me.

“Good to see you again, your Worship.”  I meant to just nod, but part of me wanted to wave and I end up doing a mixture of both.  Probably looking as awkward as I felt. Way to try and impress the Qunari spy-merc.

“Howdy.”  Neither Krem nor Bull show any reaction at my goof up, and Krem continues to address his boss.

“Throat-cutters are done, Chief.”  I see both of Bull’s eyebrows raise in surprise and he gives a grunt that reminds me of Tim Allen.

“Already?  Have them check again.”   _I mean, if their throats cut, I’d assume they’re pretty dead._  “I don’t want any of them Tevinter bastards getting away.  No offense, Krem.” He finishes. Krem is unphased by the remark.  He takes it in stride well and I can see a smile in his eyes while he remains professional.

 

“None taken.  Least a bastard knows who his mother was.”  As the lieutenant begins to walk back to the others, he calls the last remark to Bull over his shoulder.  “Puts them one up on you Qunari, right?” Bull chuckles a little to himself before he turns back to me. His face still seems lighthearted, but his voice is much more business-like.

 

“So, you’ve seen us fight.  We’re expensive, but we’re worth it.”  Now he gives another hearty laugh and even slaps his knee.  “And I’m sure the Inquisition can afford us.” He’s got a toothy half-smile that makes me nervous.   _How much of this is an act to get me to trust him?  And how does money work in Thedas? Nobody’s explained it to me yet…_

“Uhh…”  I falter at what to say, a mixture of feelings between a job interview and a police interrogation swamping my brain.  “How much are we talkin’ here?” _How do mercs even charge people?  By the week? Month? How many times you send them into battle?_  Bull just waves a hand at my question.

“Wouldn’t cost you anything, personally, unless you wanna buy drinks later.”   _Sorry, dude, I’m a broke college student.  I haven’t got a dime to my name here._  “You’re ambassador… what’s her name?”  The giant before me starts to snap his fingers while he fishes for the name.  He points when he remembers.

“Josephine!  We’d go through her and get the payment set up.  Gold’ll take care of itself. Don’t worry about that.  All that matters is we’re worth it.” Not the best pitch I’ve heard in my life.  We’re worth it isn’t a great resume. I cough to get the phlegm out of my throat.   _Stupid rain… hope I don’t get a cold.  I’m not used to medieval illnesses. I don’t wanna get smallpox and die!_

 

“The Chargers seem a good group.”  He nods deeply, pleased by the agreement on my part.

“They are, but you’re not just getting the boys, you’re getting me.”  He points to himself with a thumb. “You need a front line bodyguard. I’m your man.” _I think Cassandra’s appointed herself my bodyguard at this point, but okay?_  Now Iron Bull stands up again to his full height and I try not to swallow hard like a cartoon.  Now he begins to walk down the coastline. I have to hoof it to keep up with his long strides. _Curse these tiny legs!  Why did my mom never buy me Heelies?!_  

“Whatever it is.  Demons? Dragons? The bigger the better.”   _Says the guy who’s usually the first to go down in the game during a dragon fight._  “And there’s one other thing,”  Ah, the reveal.

“... might be useful, might piss you off.  Ever hear of the Ben-Hassrath?” I nod my head a few times, not wanting to play dumb at this point.

“Qunari FBI/CIA right?”  Said Qunari black operative is very, very confused.  Both his brows lower and a corner of his mouth twitches down.

“Huh?”  He says, it sounds more like a grunt than a noise.

“Like, Qunari spy-y, subterfugey, stuff stuff.”   _I’m so great with descriptions.  I could rival Varric. Gooooo Catherine!  Yaaaay._  There’s a beat before Bull just ignores what I said and explains his position.

“They handle information, loyalty, security, all of it.  Spies, basically.” He’s now watching me closely, I think I must’ve tripped his warning sensor with the FBI comparison.   _Was that even the right thing?_  I nod in understanding either way.

“Yeah, FBI.”  I say again, not knowing what else to go with.  “Federal Bureau of Investigation.” At the clarification, he nods a couple times, like he’s trying to process everything.

“They’ve said you were a strange one.  That must be your alternate universe thing?”   _Hold up, he did know?_  I nod a little more meekly this time.

“Yep yep.”

 

“Anyway, not only are they spies, well, we’re spies.  The Ben-Hassrath are concerned about the Breach. Magic out of control like that, that could cause trouble everywhere.  I’ve been ordered to join the Inquisition, get close to the people in charge, and send reports on what’s happening. But I also get reports from Ben-Hassrath agents all over Orlais.  You sign me on, I share them with your people.” I draw in a breath to say something, then stop as another question crosses my brain.

“Isn’t it, like, the opposite of being an undercover agent blowing your cover before it started?”   _Worst. James Bond. Ever._  Bull only shrugs off the question.

“Whatever happened at that Conclave thing, it’s bad.  Someone needs to get that Breach closed. So whatever I am, I’m on your side.”  Oh goody. The scary guy is going to punch things for me. That’s a relief.

“You could’ve pulled the wool over my eyes about the whole thing though.”  Bull only shakes his head back and forth.

“You, maybe, but something like the Inquisition?”  He gives a laugh, shorter than his previous two. “I’d’ve been tipped sooner or later.  Better you hear it right up front from me.” _Very kind of you, Mr. The Iron Bull._  The wet rocks roll around like marbles under my boots.

 

“So what info would you send home in these reports of yours?”  The Qunari thinks for a second, pulling his thoughts together, before answering.

“Enough to keep my superiors happy.  Nothing that’ll compromise your operations.  The Qunari want to know if they need to launch an invasion to stop the whole damn world from falling apart.  You let me send word of what you’re doing, it’ll put some minds at ease. That’s good for everyone.” _Since I’m good at baking, is it possible for me to halt a Qunari invasion by sending Sten goodies?  Could I literally save the world with cake? That’d be funny. Well, since his cat is out of the bag, might as well let mine out._ I don’t think I’d be able to hide it that well from Bull, plus he already kind of knows anyway.  I steel myself for a second, take a deep breath, and use all my adrenaline to work up the gumption to look Bull in the face.

“I guess if you’re being honest about the spy thing, I’ll be honest about mine.  I do come from an alternate dimension. I’m basically an alien. Where I come from, this is all made up.  No magic or elves or Qunari. I’m also mage that can’t use any magic. At this point, I don’t really care if you actually believe me or think I’m crazy.”  

 

Literally, all the Chantry wants me to catch on fire, might as well add the whole Qun on top of that.  Bull seems a little surprised, but not enough to blindside the guy.

 

“I admit when I first read the reports I thought it was gossip…  But with the way things are going, this might as well happen.” I blink a few times, trying to understand if I heard him right.

“Wait… Are you being chill with it?  You’re not gonna call me a demon and gore me or something?”  Bull looks me up and down like I’ve just said something else crazy.

“I’ve seen demons, kid, you ain’t no demon.”  He cracks his neck and shoulders a few times, I can hear the pops from down hear.  “Maybe it’s a little hard to swallow, but,” He pauses to laugh at his own joke.

“...so am I.”  

I just look up at him.   _I’m confused.  Was that a joke?  It made no sense. Qunari are completely plausible in this universe.  They’re a known race. I don’t get it._  At my silence, Bull seems a bit let down.  

“So, you taking us on or what?”  He says to fill the void. I nod a couple times as a silent yes.

“Just run your reports by Leliana.  Only goes out if it gets her approval.”  His mood is suddenly lifted sky high. He grins and laughs at the suggestion.

 

“Wouldn’t have it any other way.  Krem!” He yells from cupped hands to Krem, who’s standing a couple yards away.  “Tell the men to finish drinking on the road! The Chargers just got hired.” Krem turns and makes a face.  He sticks his hands out in a pleading gesture, with a slight shake of his head.

 

“What about the casks, Chief?  We just opened them up! With axes.”  I can’t help but burst out giggling at that.  I’ve always loved that delivery. Bull just takes it in stride and waves a hand.

 

“Find some way to seal ‘em.  You’re Tevinter, right? Try blood magic.”  Bull now nods to me and moves off to go… pack up or something.  Before he leaves, he turns around to continue speaking to me. “ Alright then, Boss.  Before we head out, got any other questions?” _Only the one that’s always been there._

“Do your horns ever get stuck in doorways?”  He laughs again at that, the same corner of his mouth that frowned earlier now twitched upwards.   _Dude’s got weird teeth.  Guess the Ben-Hassrath doesn’t have dental._

“Every damn time.”


	20. Tell Me, Doctor

The fade rifts near Redcliffe have gotten strange.  Not only do they spit out demons and crackle like cereal, as normal, but now they also have weird time vortexes.  Strange little circles appear on the ground, and once you step inside it, everything slows and gets distorted, like a slow-mo effect in a movie.

“What was that?”  Varric asks, just as confused as the rest of them after I seal the rift.  Cassandra is the one who pipes up with a theory.

“We don’t know what these rifts can do.  That one appeared to alter the time around it.”  I can’t help just snicker a little under my breath.  Blackwall keeps staring at the ground where a time circle was like he’s trying to figure out where it went.  Sera keeps yawning, seemingly unconcerned or just really tired.

“Oh, we’ll find out in a bit, guys.”  I half mutter. Solas caught my line and looks at me curiously.

“Is this something else you know of?”  Startled at getting caught, I nod a few times to him.

“I’ll explain later, okay?”  Just then, a guard comes running up.  Are they from Redcliffe or one of the Inquisitions?

 

“Maker have mercy!”  She huffs as she runs up to the closed gate.  No one on the other side has bothered to even talk to us while that rift was there.  Open the gates. Stop having them be closed. “It’s over!” She calls to whoever’s job it is to open and lower them.

“Open the gates!”  And just like that, there’s a grinding metal noise as the barred gates ascend upward.  The second me and the gang pass through the arch, there’s a scout to the right, already bowing to me.   _Whop-de-do.  I really gotta make a policy that says: No bowing to the Herald of Andraste.  You may salute or nod. It makes her uncomfortable._

“We’ve spread word the Inquisition was coming.  But you should know that no one here was expecting us.”  

“Hehehehe.”  I can’t stop my giggles from bubbling up, even though it makes me seem super, super rude.   _Hahahaha.  I get it._  “At least we have the weapon of surprise, right?”  The scout looks at me strangely, as does everyone in the party.   _If only Cole were here, maybe he could read my mind and laugh at my jokes._  I cough and attempt to get things back on track.

“So… not even the Grand Enchanter, who invited us, knew we were on our way.”  The scout only shrugs.

“If she was, she hasn’t told anyone.  We’ve arranged use of the tavern for negotiations.”  As if on cue, an elf in a mage's robe runs up to us, slightly out of breath.

“Agents of the Inquisition, my apologies.  Magister Alexius is in charge now but hasn’t yet arrived.  He’s expected shortly. You can speak with the former Grand Enchanter in the meantime.”  The elf nods and runs off in the direction he came from. _Right, I almost forgot about stupid, stupid, jerk man.  Because messing with the timeline always works out._

“Something’s not right…”  Blackwall mutters from the back as we walk into town.  “We need to talk to the Grand Enchanter.” _Oh don’t worry, Blackwall, we will._  Suddenly, Solas is at my side, looking concerned.

“I assume you were prepared for this?”  I nod a few times.

“Yep, I am.”  Luckily, I’ve got a trick up my sleeve.

 

In the tavern, Fiona awaits us with a small contingent of other mages at her side.  She nods respectfully, despite looking very perplexed.

“Welcome, Agents of the Inquisition”  I’ve already turned my phone on and opened the gallery with the video.  Now it’s in my pocket, my hand on it like a sharpshooter would his pistol in a quickdraw.  “What has brought you to Redcliffe?” Now’s my chance, I’ve only got one shot. I whip out the phone and walk towards her, ready to press the play button.

“We’re here because of your invitation at Val Royeaux.  I have proof.” Fiona backs away a step from the phone but watches closely as I press the play button.  

 

The video is focused on the Grand Enchanter, as she approaches our group at the gates of Val Royeaux.  At the beginning, Cassandra’s greeting got cut in half. She’s slightly in the frame, her right arm in the left edge of the shot.

“-chanter Fiona?”  The fact you can’t see her speak reminds me of a home movie.  Now Solas speaks, he’s not even visible.

“Leader of the Mage Rebellion.  Is it not dangerous for you to be here?”  Then enchanter hasn’t noticed my phone yet and speaks to Solas.

“I had heard of this gathering and I wanted to see the fabled Herald of Andraste-”  She stops upon seeing me hold a tiny rectangle inches out from my face. “What in the Maker’s name-”  I quickly cut her off.

“Look, I’m taking this as proof of our meeting.  Just, pretend this isn’t here. Please, continue.”  She’s very stunned but continues on.

“If it’s help with the Breech you seek, perhaps my people are the wiser option.”  Cassandra’s voice comes in again.

“I find it surprising the leader of the Mage Rebellion wasn’t at the Conclave.  You were supposed to be, yet somehow you avoided death.”

“As did the Lord Seeker, you’ll note.”  She brushes a short strand of black hair from her eyes.  “Both of us sent negotiators in our stead in case it was a trap.  I won’t pretend I’m not glad to live. I lost many dear friends that day.  It disgusts me to think the Templars will get away with it. I’m hoping you won’t let them.”  Now Varric chimes in. His voice comes from the same side as Solas but sounds a little more distant.

“So you think the Templars did it?”  Cassandra quickly answers him.

“Why wouldn’t she?”

“Lucius hardly seems broken up over his losses.  If he’s concerned about them at all. You heard him.  You think he wouldn’t happily kill the Divine to turn people against us.  So yes, I think he did it. More than I think you did it- If I may ask, just what are you holding?”  She’s cut off again by her confusion at the phone. I quickly sush her.

“Look, I’m just gathering important evidence for later, please pay no attention to what I’m holding.  So why are you coming to us now? The mages wouldn’t answer the Inquisition earlier.”

“Because now I’ve seen what you are.  And the Chantry for what it is. Consider this an invitation to Redcliffe.  Come, meet with the mages. An alliance could help us both, after all. I hope to see you there.  Au revoir, my Lady Herald.” I press the pause button, now waiting for Fiona’s reaction. She stands there, mutely watching, before deciding to speak.

“Is this a trick?  I haven’t been to Val Royeaux since before the Conclave.”  Now I cut in. I don’t know how long I have before Alexius gets here.

“Look, that Alexius guy, he’s been messing with time magic.  He used it to alter the timeline so that meeting never happened and he arrived here before me.  I’m not lying to you, what I’ve shown you is proof of the original timeline. Alexius isn’t to be trusted, you’ve got to believe me!”  She looks shaken but sadly shakes her head.

“Whatever brought you here, the situation has changed.  The Free Mages have already… pledged themselves to the service of the Tevinter Imperium.”   _Dagnabbit!_  Cassandra is equally annoyed.

“An alliance with Tevinter?  Do you not fear all of Thedas turning against you?”

“As one indentured to a Magister, I no longer have the authority to negotiate with you.”

“Indentured servitude is wrong!”  I belt out, startling everyone. “Look, he only did it because he knew you’re desperate and because his boss wants your power!  Please, you’ve got to believe me! It’s just a stupid piece of paper! You’re a bunch of people, he’s one dude! Just set it on fire and come with us.”  

 

Right at that second, with perfect theatrical timing, the door to the Tavern swings wide open and said magister waltzes into the room like he’s from a golden age movie.  He walks over with his arms out, grandly.

“Welcome, my friends!”  He says as he walks closer to our huddle.  “I apologize for not greeting you earlier.”  Fiona now takes a much more subservient tone.

“Agents of the Inquisition, allow me to introduce Magister Gereon Alexius.”  At this rate, I’m so annoyed and angry that my verbal filter is long gone.

“Gesundheit.”  Alexius is unphased by my remark, or he’s got that type of smile that looks nice but is actually menacing.  Only Sera snorts at my joke. Fiona looks alarmed and her eyes dart from him to me.

“The southern Mages are under my command.”  But now he smiles as he looks at me. “And you are the survivor, yes?  The one from the Fade?” He strikes his chin a little.

“Interesting.”  He hums in a way that feels much more like an insult than an observation.

“So what the hell do you get by nicking the Mages from under my nose, huh?”  Alexius only chuckles at my outburst.

“It seems Andraste's Herald needs a lesson in manners, one would think.  For the moment the Southern Mages are a considerable expense.” These are people, not a business venture!  “Once they are properly trained, they will join our legion.” _Yeah and not the Roman kind.  I know exactly what you’re up to idiot._  Fiona almost balks at this as she hesitantly protests.

“You said not all my people would be military!  There are children! Those not suited-” The Magister cuts her off with an authoritative tone.

“And one day I’m sure they will all be productive citizens of the Imperium.  When their debts are paid.” This is awful and wrong!

“And how can you justify using indentured servitude on all of these people?  On children? The elderly?” This old Tevinter man in a stupid hood and wonky shoulder pads is only amused by my reactions.

“Our southern brethren have no legal status in the Imperium.  As they were not born citizens of Tevinter, they must work for a period of ten years before gaining full rights.  As their protector, I shall oversee their work for the Imperium.” _We both know you mean Corphy._

“I really don’t see how forcing people into military service to gain basic human rights is fair.  And come to think of it, doesn’t the Arl have authority over goings-on in his land? So where oh where is Arl Teagan, then, huh?

“The Arl of Redcliffe left the village.”   _That’s bull._

“Really?  Even though Teagen stood his ground to defend the village when Redcliffe was under attack from the walking dead during the Blight?  Seems kinda…” I pause, meeting him in the eyes. “Suspicious… Don’t you think?” Now Cassandra pipes up as my backup.

“Indeed.  Arl Teagan did not abandon his lands during the Blight, even when they were under siege.” Now I continue on.

“Pretty convenient for you that the ruling power in this land is gone, leaving someone with no political authority to take charge.”  He only raises an eyebrow.

“It seems our Herald is quite a bold one, almost as if you seem to challenge me?  But I will let this pass if you would be reasonable and discuss this with me like civilized people?”  He gestures to a table behind us. “I’m sure we can come to an agreement, provided you are willing.” I grind my teeth in anger.   _This man has no right to control all these people like that.  It’s wrong._

“Fine.”  I hiss, but only at the looks from my companions subtly nodding for me to be polite.  Alexius sits at the side that allows him to see the room, leaving me with a huge blind spot.  Instead of sitting ‘like a civilized person’ I swing the chair around and sit in it backward, the back of the chair leaning against the table.  I’m going to be as savage as possible if it annoys him so much. Alexius only smiles at my gesture and motions for his son.

 

“Felix, would you send for a scribe, please?  Pardon my manners.” He now waves at hand at his son, who bows before us.  “My son, Felix, friends.” _I am not your friend do not address me as such._  Now he addresses me directly, still smiling like a polite host.

“I am not surprised you’re here.  Containing the Breach is not a feat that many could even attempt.  There is no telling how many Mages would be needed for such an endeavor.  Ambitious, for someone so young, indeed.” I tent my hands and slump my chin on them, trying to look as annoyed as I can.  Out of the corner of my eye, I see Felix start to walk over, acting wobbly, like he’s tipsy.

“So you gonna lead me some guys?”  Now he’s standing at his father's side, leaning on the back of the chair, like he’s sick.   _He is just acting, right?_  I notice he's watching my hands.  As casually as I can, I drop my hands down.  My left palm faces outward, ready to grab whatever he wants to give me.  After this, I notice he’s acting woozier.

“There will have to be-”  But Alexius is cut off by his son falling to the ground, right by my chair.  I see he didn’t actually collapse, he caught himself on his hands. I quickly close my hand a couple times, while meeting his eyes.  I guess he understood my signal because he quickly shoves the paper into my hands.

“Felix!”  Alexius sounds genuinely worried for his child.

“My lady, I’m so sorry.”  Felix meets my eyes and I give him a nod as subtle as I can.  I try to mouth ‘Thank you’ and I think he gets it. “Please forgive me.”  He returns it, and gets up off the floor. Quickly, I shove the paper into my pocket by my phone.  The Magister has leapt out of his chair and checking his son over like a mother hen.

“Are you alright?”  Felix pouts for a millisecond, then rubs his temples like he’s got a headache.

“I’m fine, Father.”  Now Alexius puts an arm around his son’s shoulders to help him walk.

“Come, I’ll get your powders.”  Now he nods to me, Fiona, and my party.  “Please excuse me, friends, we will have to continue this another time.  Fiona, I require your assistance back at the castle.” Now Fiona joins the two of them in their walk.  Before they leave, Felix turns and give a small bow.

“I apologize.  I don’t mean to trouble everyone.”  Now the Magister addresses us again.

“I shall send word to the Inquisition.  We will conclude this business at a later date.”  The three of them, and all their assembled men take their leave.  Now it’s just my party and I standing in here. I finally hop up from the chair and walk over to the five of them.

 

“Well, aren’t we all secret-y…”  Sera grumbles while looking in the direction Alexius left.  Both Cassandra and Solas look like disapproving parents.

“Did you really have to lash out at him like that?”  The Seeker admonishes. “He is in control of the Mages.  It is not wise to provoke our only chance at allying with them.”  I snort a puff of air. Part of my bangs is brushed out of my eyes.

“Yeah, well, he’s a lying liar.  Look, what I said to Fiona is true.  He’s messing with time magic. He’s dangling the mages in my face to get me where he wants me, then he’s going to try and delete me from history.”  They all look surprised.

“Are… Are you sure, lass?”  Blackwall asks in a quiet voice.  I nod a bunch of times.

“I’ve been telling you, I know what happens.  I’m not nuts. When we all meet at the castle for further negotiations, he’s going to use time magic to try and get rid of me.”  Now I frown and tap my foot.

“Not really sure if that would work, since I wasn’t born here there’s no real way to fully delete my existence.  And if I showed up at the same time as the Breach there’s no way he can stop me from getting the Mark. He’s stuck with me.”  Now it’s Varric who finally pipes up, surprisingly quiet this whole time.

“So that thing you did in Val Royeaux with the phone, was trying to convince Fiona we’d met?”  I nod a bunch of times.

“Yeah, I thought if I had physical proof, it would work.  But… it didn’t. Anyway, we need to go to the Chantry, pronto.”

“Are you sure of this?”  Solas asks, looking a little concerned.  I start to walk out of the Tavern, the others following my lead.

“Trust me, Alexius might be a crazy jerk, but Felix is cool.  I trust him.”

 

* * *

 

The second the doors to the Chantry are shut, I’m graced with the image of Dorian Pavus beating the heck out of a couple Shades like Rafiki at the end of Lion King.  A fade rift glows behind him- just how did a rift pop up in a building?- and my Mark crackles like an excited puppy who heard the word ‘walk’. The minute Dorian is done laying the smack down, he whips around, smiling, his undercut hair not a bit out of place.

“Good, you’re finally here.  Now help me close this, would you?”  I quickly salute him, yanking out my tiny sword.

“Rodger Dodger.  Alrighty, people, we gotta rift a twelve o’clock!  Sera, move, you’re right on top of a time thingy!”  I hear a garbled ‘What’ from her as she shoots at a demon in slow-mo.  “Nevermind, then.”

The only things popping out are Lesser Terror demons, and they look like the Pale Man from Del Toro’s ‘Pan’s Labyrinth’ that got dipped in green Kool-aid.  Thankfully, because they don’t look like people, it’s much easier to poke them than Tevinter mercs. They all scream really loud and it hurts my ears. Reminds me of a Banshee, in a way.  With Dorian’s help combined with my manic, terrified slashing, they go down in under five seconds. I’m able to seal the rift in no time flat, which must be a record for me or something.

The second the vortex implodes into green ash, Dorian is approaching me.

“Fascinating!  How does that work exactly?”  He asks, pointing at my right hand.   _I wonder if he twirls his mustache like an old-timey villain?_  I frown and study the flashing Mark for a couple seconds, twisting my wrist around.

“Uhhh…”  Dorian thinks this is really funny and laughs.

“You don’t even know, do you?  You just wiggle your fingers and then ‘boom’!  Rift closes.” I shake my head a couple times, then stopping to push my bangs out of my eyes.

“Actually, it’s more like,”  I stick my hand out and make a noise.  “Vsssssssssh!” I whip my hand back like when I close a rift and do my best explosion noise.  

“BWHHH!  Done.” He grins like a kid in a candy store, thankfully understanding my ‘explanation’.

“Marvelous!  Does it always spark near a rift?  Can it detect them?”

“I dunno, it’s more like:  What is it boy? Do you see something?  Oh, it’s a rift.”

“Can it-”  Cassandra angrily cuts off our geek out.

“Just who are you?”  Dorian quickly coughs and adjusts his hair.

“Ah, pardon me.  Getting ahead of myself, I see.”  He gives a quick, little, half bow.  “Dorian of House Pavus, most recently of Minrathous.  How do you do?”

“How do you do what?”  If I strain myself, I can hear crickets.  No one laughs at my joke. I whip around to frown at my group.  “Oh come on! That was funny!” Cassandra snorts and gets onto business.

“Another Tevinter.  Be cautious with this one.”  Dorian seems to take the jab in stride.

“Suspicious friends you have here.”

“Guys!”  I hiss at them, mostly as Cass.  “I told you, he’s a good guy! Be nice!”  I see Dorian place a hand on his heart, I think in mock surprise, or he’s touched.  I don’t know, he’s so sarcastic sometimes.

“Magister Alexius was once my mentor, so my assistance should be valuable- as I’m sure you can imagine.”  Now I don’t know what to say. I already know about Felix and I can explain it, or Dorian can, later, so my asking him is a little moot.

“Are you a Magister dude, too?”  He looks a little annoyed by the question and puts up his hands in mock surrender.

“All right, let’s say this once.  I’m a mage from Tevinter, but not a member of the Magisterium.  I know Southerners use the term interchangeably, but that only makes you sound like Barbarians.”   _Oh, shut up you Roman._  I quickly raise my hand like a school kid.

“What’s a Magisterium?”  Now he looks a little shocked.

“You don’t know?”

“I’m not from around these parts.”  Now Dorian makes an ‘Ah-ha’ face and starts nodding a lot more.

“So you’re the one everyone’s been talking about!  Is it true what you’ve been saying? That you come from another world?”  I whip out my phone and wiggle it.

“Does this prove it?”  I see the Tevinter mage starts to grab it.

“May I see-”  I cut him off by sticking it back in my pocket.

“Maybe later, Dorian, we’ve got stuff to do.”  He nods understandably.

“Of course.  Look, I've summoned you here to warn you.  You must know there’s danger. That should be obvious, even without the note.  Let’s start with Alexius claiming the alliance of the Mages out from under you.  As if by magic, yes?” He opens his mouth to keep expositing, but I beat him to the punch.

“He messed with time to get here first.  I know what he’s up to. I know about some things that will happen, at least up until the Breach is sealed.”  I hear Sera pipe up from the back.

“You don’t really believe he messed with time, do you?  It’s daft.” I nod a few times.

“True, since if time travel existed, we’d probably always know it existed.  But unfortunately, it’s true.” Dorian nods along with me.

“The rift you closed here?  You saw how it twisted time around itself, sped some things up and slowed down others.  Soon, there will be more like it. And they’ll appear further and further away from Redcliffe.  The magic Alexius is using is wildly unstable,” He pauses for dramatic effect like he would in a film trailer.  “And it’s unraveling the world.” I can only give a fake smile.

“That sounds like fun, huh?”  Dorian gives a tiny laugh.

“Indeed. Especially since I helped develop this magic.  When I was still his apprentice, it was pure theory. Alexius could never get it to work.  What I don’t understand is why he’s doing it. Ripping time to shreds just to gain a few hundred lackeys?”  

 

Just as I’m about to explain it, Felix pops out from a doorway and steals my thunder.

“He didn’t do it for them.”  Dorian gives his friend a punch in the arm in greeting.

“Took you long enough!”  Then he turns back to a serious tone.  “Is he getting suspicious?” Felix shakes his head.

“No, but I shouldn’t have played the illness card.  I thought he’d be fussing over me all day.” I now turn to Felix, trying to get a word in before things get too plot heavy.

“Thank you for the note, by the way.  It can’t have been easy to slip that under your dad’s nose.”  He seems a little surprised but gives a quick smile.

“Of course, Herald.  Listen, Dorian, my father’s joined a cult.  Tevinter supremacists. They call themselves: Venatori.  And I can tell you one thing,” He says, turning back to me.  “Whatever he’s done for them, he’s done it to get to you.”

“Well… that figures.  But, like, why me though?  I’m about as interesting as mud.”  Felix shakes his head.

“They’re obsessed with you.  But I don’t know why. Perhaps it’s because you survived the Temple of Sacred Ashes?  Or because of your saying you’re from another world? I’ve even heard rumors the Venatori are trying to figure out how you were summoned here so they can summon others.”   _No, that’s nuts.  That would go really bad._

“You can close the rifts and have knowledge others would kill for.  Maybe there’s a connection. Or they see you as a threat?” Dorian looks concerned while Felix chimes in again.

“If the Venatori are behind those Rifts or the Breach in the sky, they’re even worse than I thought.”

 

“Alrighty, then boys.  How do we stop Magister McCrazy?”  Dorian speaks again, I guess he’s had this plan already in mind?

“You know you’re his target.  Expecting the trap is the first step in turning it to your advantage.  Though by what you’ve said, you already knew about the trap.” I shrug.

“Well yeah, but things might have changed slightly by my being here.  Never can be too careful.” Dorian and Felix both nod, but Felix looks a little more confused.

“Right you are.  I can’t stay in Redcliffe.  Alexius doesn’t know I’m here and I want to keep it that way for now.  But whenever you’re ready to deal with him, I want to be there. Felix,”  He turns to his friend. “I’ll stay in touch. Oh, and by the way,” Dorian calls after his friend starts to dismiss himself from the Chantry.

“Try not to get yourself killed.”

“There are worse things than dying, Dorian.”


	21. In Hushed Whispers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The plot gets serious

I get up from the tent as quietly as I can.  Cassandra sleeps on the far side, as rigid as one can be.  Her weapons and armor are near her, in case she has to jump up for anything.  Sera, meanwhile, is sprawled all around. Turns out Red Jenny tosses and turns in her sleep.  Both Cassandra and I have gotten kicked a few times tonight, but I have more on my mind than that.  When I close the tent flap behind me, I can see the fire pit is only coals. No one is tending to it.  I can see a few Inquisition scouts patrolling, but otherwise, everyone is asleep. Needing to clear my head, I start walking down a path of a hill nearby.  Luckily, the moon is bright tonight, so I won’t trip over too many sticks. When I reach my destination, I find a familiar figure sitting at the cliff’s edge, looking out at the sky.

“You need to rest for tomorrow,”  Solas says without turning around as I approach him.

“Was I that noticeable?”  I ask as I plunk down beside him, letting my legs dangle over the edge.  Solas sits quietly with his legs crossed and back straight. He gives a little chuckle.

“Your breath was so loud someone might have shot you in the dark.”  I snicker a little, pulling my sweater around me.

“Am I disturbing you at all, Solas?”  He shakes his head softly.

“No, you are fine.  I would welcome your company.”  I can’t help but smile at that.  _  He likes me.  I’m making friends.  I like friends. It makes me feel warm and fuzzy. _

“What’re you doing out here?”  He points wordlessly up at the stars that litter the night sky.

“I find the constellations interesting.”   _ Oh, stargazing!  I guess some of them would have changed from when he was a kid, considering the rotations of the earth and such.  _ _ Does Thedas follow the same rules as Earth?  I mean, I’m not dying for lack of oxygen, so that’s something.  I have to wonder though. _  “Does something trouble you?”  He asks, noticing my face as I get lost in thought.

“I… I guess so.  Mostly I can’t stop thinking about tomorrow.”  I hear the elf give a hum in reply. He gives a deep nod with his eyes shut.

“The meeting with Magister Alexius.”  I sigh to myself, biting the inside of my cheek.  “You should not do that. You will end up biting your mouth like that.”  He repremands in a teacher-like voice. I quickly stop.

“I guess I’m just anxious about what could happen.  I mean, I know what’s going to happen… But it’s awful.  Leliana said to stick with what’s supposed to happen, but I don’t know.  If I could change his mind, talk him out of it. Maybe I could…” I growl in frustration.

“It is not wise to dwell on what may happen.  You will run yourself ragged at that pace. What would you hope to change by talking the Magister down, if I may ask?”  The elf tilts his head to me, his eyes glinting in the moonlight.  _ He still wears the same sweater and leggings he always does.  Does he not even change his clothes to sleep? _

“Like, he’s going to try and erase me from history.”  Solas nods in understanding.

“You have said so.”

“But I end up getting sent into the future.  And during that time this, Elder One has taken over.  Everything’s awful. So many people dead. The Breech still there.  All these rifts around.” I now pull my knees up to my chest. “And what’s worse is whoever I take with me end up in prison and tortured.  Even though I do end up back here again, that doesn’t mean it didn’t happen. Especially if you consider that alternate time another dimension, meaning it still continues on without me.  Meaning whoever goes with me sacrificed their lives… I… I want to try and prevent that. All that suffering. I mean, I know what’s going to happen, I want to- I dunno- try and use it to my advantage.  But if I try to change things I don’t know what could happen.” 

 

Solas looks out at the stars again, thinking for a long time.  He hums to himself as he thinks. After a minute or so, he speaks.

“Quite a dilemma.  It says good of you, that you hope to prevent further destruction and suffering.  As to what you should do, that is only for you to decide.” I frown. That wasn’t really the answer I was looking for.

“What would you do, if you were in my place?”  Now Solas thinks for a moment but takes less time to come to a decision.

“Were I in your stead, if I had future knowledge of a horrid outcome, then I would do everything in my power to prevent it regardless of the changes.  They are regrettable but unavoidable. If I were to be able to save countless lives at the cost of losing the upper hand, I would do so.”

 

_ I thought you might say that. _

* * *

__

The doors to Redcliffe castle shut with a bang, echoing in the empty hall.  Cassandra and Varric stand on either side of me, ready if anything besides the script happens.  The advisors and I agreed to follow the quest’s original plan to the letter. Only Cassandra, Varric, and Dorian are to accompany me.  The rest of the companions are either at an Inquisition camp in the Hinterlands, or in the case of Vivienne and the Chargers, just arrived at Haven.  I gave them all fair warning over what could happen, so maybe they all have a fighting chance during the bad future. I can only pray things go well.

None of the guards are pleased to see my companions.  Now a man in a blue tunic descends some steps, angrily glancing at the others with me.

“Announce us,”  Cassandra demands.

“The Magister’s invitation was for Mistress Hawking alone.  The others must wait here.”  _ Hell no, I’m not getting pushed around.  Not anymore. _

“Either they come with or we’re done here.”  After a long, silent five seconds, the seneschal nods and allows us to follow him up the stairs, but I can feel the guards looming behind us at the ready.

__

Alexius has seated himself on the throne at the head of the room, behind a giant fireplace.  The throne itself is raised by stairs, leaving him higher than all of us. A power move, I’d guess.  Felix stands at his side, maybe hoping to stop his father if things go too far south. All around the room are pillars; I can’t tell if they’re for decor or support.  The fire gives a dark appearance to the Magister, as he sits snugly in that stupid chair. Everything about this feels eerie and wrong. The hairs on the back of my neck are standing.  I’m so scared of what could happen. The seneschal has placed himself on the left side of the room, standing at attention in front of the pillar closest to the Magister. Fiona, I can see, has placed herself directly across from him, but more in the alcove rather than standing in the light.

“My lord Magister, the Agents of the Inquisition have arrived.”  At this Alexius puts back on his performance and uncrosses his leg, standing above us like a politician.

“My friend.  It’s so good to see you again.”  I see a crack in the facade as he gazes at my friends behind me.  “...And your associates, as well.” Now he puffs himself up and crosses his arms behind his back as he begins to pace back and forth on the platform he’s on.

“I’m sure we can work out some arrangement that is equitable to both parties.”  Out of the corner of my eye, I can see Fiona step forward from the shadows.

“Have we mages no say in deciding our fate?”  Alexius only waves this off.

“Fiona, you would not have entrusted your followers to my care if you did not trust me with their lives.”  I fight the urge to yell at him.

“If the Grand Enchanter wishes to speak for her people, I will allow her to as a guest of the Inquisition.”  I see her gratefully nod to me.

“Thank you, Herald,”  Alexius says nothing, but his posture is more rigid and aloof.  He stops pacing and slowly walks to the throne and sits in it, fixing his gaze squarely on me.

“The Inquisition needs mages to close the Breach and I have them.  So, what shall you offer in exchange?”  _ Right, it’s now or never.  I’ve got one shot to change things, maybe make it go smoother.  He’s only doing this because he’s desperate to heal Felix. Maybe there’s a small chance he can be reasoned with.  I’m not throwing away my shot! _

“I’m giving you the one chance to surrender before things get out of hand.”  The man only smiles, playing coy with me.

“I have no idea what you mean.”  Now Felix breaks his silence.

“She knows everything, Father.”  If Alexius is truly shocked by his son’s betrayal, his voice holds no trace of it.  He only hardens his speech as he glares at his son.

“Felix, what have you done?”  Now’s my turn to talk.

“Look, Alexius, I know exactly what you’re planning.  The time magic, the deal you made with Corphy, the plot to kill me.  We can stop this before it gets out of hand. Your magic isn’t going to kill me, only send me forward in time.  The Breach acts like a wormhole, there’s no way to get around it. No matter what, you won’t be able to fulfill your bargain to Corphy.  If you surrender now, I can protect you from him. You fail, he’ll kill you. I know you did it to protect Felix, but the only way to cure the taint is to become a Grey Warden.  The King of Ferelden was once one and he’s on his way here. Maybe we can reason with him and maybe he knows where the Wardens of Amaranthine are. One of them might know about the Joining ritual and we could use that to save your son.  Just call off your men and surrender yourself. You put the amulet on the ground and let Felix take it. Your contract with the Free Mages is forfeit.” He doesn’t seem that shocked by my revelation or by my demands. The man only chuckles darkly to himself as he rises from the chair, starting to slowly walk down the steps.

“You must have struck yourself during the Breach if you think you can stop me with your words.”   _ Crap, it isn’t working! _

“Look, come on, think about it.  I’m younger than Felix, could you really kill a child?  Besides, leaving your son like that will only turn him into a ghoul, that might be worse than death.  Please, I could help him, you don’t have to do this.” He ignores my pleas.

“You walk into my stronghold with your stolen mark- a gift you don’t even understand- and think you’re in control?”  He pauses as he glares at me, hard. I can see more guards have slowly started to trickle out from behind the pillars and Felix is too far away from Alexius to stop him.   _ I’ve screwed myself over.  I’ve revealed my hand too early.  What was I thinking, actually believing I could talk down this madman?  I’m no Varric, I’m no Paragon Shepard. _  “You’re nothing but a mistake!”  Alexius practically spits at me. 

“That’s where you’re wrong, buddy!  I might not remember a darn thing about getting it, but I sure know what the hell the Anchor does and what your master wanted it for!  But I suppose the question is: Do  **you** know where the orb came from?  Do you know why or how Corypheus got it?” 

__

The Magister is only more and more angered by my talking.  He glowers at me like he wishes I would burn up.

“You think to know your betters!  You dare speak the name of the Elder One!”  Now Felix desperately steps forward, almost pleading with his dad.

“Father, listen to yourself!  Do you know what you sound like?”

“I think he sounds like the villainous cliche everyone expects us to be,”  Dorian says, quickly striding out from an alcove behind us.  _ Has he been hiding there the whole time?  How did he even get in here? _

“Dorian…”  The Magister’s voice has grown colder.  “I gave you a chance to be apart of this.  You turned me down. The Elder One has power you would not believe.  He will raise the Imperium from its own ashes.” I can’t stop my own tongue from lashing out now.

“Really, cause if I remember right, this game ends with me shoving my hand in Corypheus’ dumb face and turning him inside out in a rift!”  Alexius only strides forward, almost like my words embolden him.

“You think this a game?  You’re nothing but a naive miscreant who’s clearly sick in the head!  The Herald of Andraste, killing the Elder One? Soon he will become a god!  He will make the world bow to Mages once more. We will rule from the Boric Ocean to the Frozen Seas!”  Finally, Fiona speaks up, angered beyond belief, her face contorted.

“You cannot involve my people in this!”  
“Alexius, this is exactly what you and I talked about never wanting to happen!”  Dorian pleads, now trying his hand at talking down his former mentor. I pray he succeeds where I failed.  Behind us, I hear an arrow zip through the silence and one of the guards gags and hits the floor with a thud.  “Why would you support this?”

Felix tries to place a hand on Alexius’ shoulder.

“Stop it, Father!  Give up the Venatori.  Let the Southern Mages fight the Breach and let’s go home.”  Alexius shoves off the gesture and rounds on his son.

“No!  This is the only way, Felix!  He can save you!” Felix is clearly horrified.

“Save me?!”

“There is a way.  The Elder One promised.  Like the wretch said, if I undo the mistake at the Temple…”  Felix adamantly shakes his head.

“I’m going to die.  You need to accept that.”  

__

Alexius has a different idea in mind.  He throws his arm out in a fierce point.

“Seize them, Venatori!  The Elder One demands this girl’s life!”  But in that one second, where one Venatori had died moments ago, now the rest of them fall like dominoes, one after another in quick succession.  Where his men once stood, now Leliana’s spies proudly stand over the dead. I put on a fake smile and cock my head left.

“Whoopsie daisy.  Did I mess up your little ambush?  Did I do that?” Now, unfortunately, Alexius has started his villainous breakdown.

“You are a mistake!  You should never have possessed it!”  Now he pulls an amulet from his pocket.  He starts charging it with green energy, zapping and popping widely as everything starts to glow green.  “You should never have been summoned here!” Just as Alexius raises his hand to strike me, Dorian grabs me behind him and fires a counter attack.

“No!”

__

But it’s too late.  A green swirl appears in front of Dorian and I.  There’s a chorus of muffled yells as an explosion roars in my ears.  Everything turns green. There’s a strong wind around us, like a roller coaster going haywire.  I think I’ve grabbed onto Dorian’s arm and am squeezing as hard as I can. After ten seconds, the two of us hit the ground hard, landing in a pool of water.

I can feel my heart in my throat as I stand up, whipping around.  I remember there are enemies, but here I don’t see any. I can see two corpses floating in the water, long decomposing.  I suppress the urge to vomit. There’s only one door on the other side of the room, a cell door.  _ Are we in a jail cell?  _  To the right is a giant vein of red lyrium.  I can hear it hum like a tuning fork, distant, but there.  Dorian, meanwhile, has bent down to pick up a key from a body.

“Displacement?  Interesting. It’s probably not what Alexius intended.  The rift must have moved us… to what? The closest source of arcane energy?  We were just in the castle hall…” I cut him off.

“Dude, we got flung forward in time!”  I sound about as panicked as I feel. Dorian just smacks his forehead like this isn’t a big deal.

“Ah, of course!  It’s not where, but when!”  Now he’s gabbing on like the excited nerd he is.  “Alexius must have used the amulet as a focus! It moved us through time!”  I wave my hands to try and get him to stop.

“Yeah, yeah, we went forward in time about a year or two.  We need to get out of here and figure out a way back.”

“Of course.  We’ll need to have a look around, see where the rift took us.  Then we can figure out how to get back.” He points his thumb at the door behind him, the key in his other hand.  “Let’s see if this opens that door, shall we?”

“R-Right.” As the two of us wade through the water to the door, I comment on something he just said.

“Why do we need to find out where we are?  We’re in Redcliffe Castle. Time travel does not space travel equal.”  As he tries to get the key into the rusty lock, he looks a little surprised.

“I thought you were unfamiliar with the workings of magic?”

“Where I come from, it’s science, not magic.  And time travel is still a theory. We can’t exactly do anything but speculate, but hey, it’s fun.”  I pause as the realization hits me that I literally went into the future. “When it’s made up, anyway.”

“I don’t even want to think about what this will do to the fabric of the world.  We didn’t travel through time so much as punch a hole through it and tossed it into the privy.”  

__

The door opens with a loud groan like it hasn’t been oiled in years.  The water still extends down the hall, so I keep talking to try and get my mind off what I might be walking through.

“There’s a mental image for ya.  Have you ever heard of Corypheus before?”  Dorian seems as disgusted by our situation as I am.

“The Leader of the Venatori, I’d gather?  He’s some Magister aspiring to godhood. It’s the same old tune,”  He slips into a high pitched falsetto. “‘Let’s play with magic we don’t understand it will make us incredibly powerful!’”  He mocks, making exaggerated faces. We’ve reached dry land by now. We’re surrounded by jail cells. I can see one at the end of the hall to the left.  It’s a lone cell being overtaken by a giant piece of red Lyrium in the corner. I can see a corpse lying on the ground. 

“Evidently doesn’t matter if you rip apart the fabric of time in the process.”  I shake my head to look away and gulp hard as we head to the right.

“So, you, like, have a theory on how all this works?”  I start panicking again as we see more and more corpses in other cells we pass.  I start rambling on. “I didn’t take theoretical physics! I just made a dumb powerpoint speech in college about how the TARDIS might work!  I suck at calculus! And algebra! I’m useless! You can backwards engineer the amulet, or something, right Dorian?!” Quickly, he places his hands on my shoulders and looking at me in the eyes, stopping my panic.

“It’s okay, I’m here.  I’ll get us out of this.  You know what’s going to happen and I helped develop this formula.  Together, we can work our way back. I’m sure with your mark you’ll be a great help, Herald.”

We keep walking down the hallway, now at a long line of cells.  Both Dorian and I start walking down the left side. It’s a dead end, but on the last cell on the left side is almost engulfed by red lyrium.  Dorian places a hand in front of me.

“Be careful.  Don’t touch it.”  I nod a couple times as we cautiously approach it.

__

In the corner of the cell is a giant vein of red lyrium, but what’s shocking is in the middle.  There’s someone in there, mummified by the crystal. It’s only a few seconds but the image is burned into my head.  The look on what remains of the flesh is one of horror. I can see wisps of black hair stuck to the skin hanging from the skull.  The hands are clutching the shoulders. The cloth has started to deteriorate, but it’s a mage’s robe. I can see the fabric is a faded blue with white trim.  The large belt buckle is covered in rust.

__

I’m staring at Fiona’s mummified body.

__

“Holy fu-”  I start to swear, but I have to run to the side without lyrium to puke.  By the time I’m done, I wipe my mouth off and quickly run away from the cell.  Dorian is right behind me. “Jesus fucking Christ what the hell was that?!” The mage with me only shakes his head.

“I… I don’t know…”  I keep talking, shaken and just thinking out loud at this point.

“What the fuck is going on?!  It was only supposed to be a year!  That didn’t happen in the game! She was alive!  Covered in the stuff but alive! Corpses don’t deteriorate like that after a year, right?!”  I whip around to Dorian. “I think… I think I must’ve changed something. We must be further along than I thought…  Oh god. I messed up. I messed up!” Dorian stops me from pacing around.

“Look, you tried yourself to talk Alexius down, that’s commendable.  You wanted to save him. No one had any idea this would happen because you did that.  You made a good choice, you didn’t mess up at all-” In the middle of his pep talk, he stops and looks a little confused.  “I don’t think I even caught your name?”

“It’s Catherine.”  He pats me on the shoulders.

“Ah, Catherine.  Lovely to meet you.  Now then, we are going to fix this.  We will get through this. Together. Understand?”

“O-Okay.”  I get another couple pats and Dorian turns down the hallway to another door.

“Let’s see where that leads.”

 


	22. The Lion's Den

The second Dorian and I heave open the doors to the main floor of the castle, both of us are stunned. Instead of the dark castle interior with red lyrium spikes, we’re met with a crumbled ruin and sunlight. All around us appears to be the remnants of a large hall. Some of the outlines remains, but the center is filled with rubble from an upper balcony or floor. Underneath our feet is a tattered red carpet. I can see poles of small banners flapping in the breeze or a tattered portrait here or there. In the end, this only confirms my suspicion. We’re not one year into the future.  
Overhead, in the distance, I can see the green swirl of the Breach. It’s much, much larger than this morning. It seems to take up the whole horizon line.

“What on earth…” Dorian can only whisper as we both look at the carnage. I step over a large stone and onto a piece of a tower.

“Come on, we’ve gotta get out of here. Maybe find someone who can fill us in.” He nods in agreement and we both start to maneuver our way through the ruins of Redcliffe castle.

We both make our way down to the village, following the crumbling bridge. The two of us walk the town in silence, observing our surroundings. Everything is a wreck. Some of it just seems abandoned but other buildings look like they were deliberately destroyed. Either way, there’s no soul here but us. Redcliffe is even worse than when the dead attack in Origins. There are no people, no bodies, no sign anyone ever lived here.

“What happened here?” Dorian finally mumbles when we reach the former Tavern. The sign hangs from a loose chain, hanging limply in the wind. The words I want to say are caught in my throat and all I can do is shrug. Right at that moment, my mark starts to flare up wildly. This pain is much worse than any I’ve felt since I got this. It’s much worse than the initial flare-up of the Breach. This is like a thousand cats digging their claws down my arm or like getting poked with too many IV’s all in the wrong place. I clutch my wrist to try and stop the involuntary jerking and sink to a knee, hissing through my teeth.

 

“What’s the-” Dorian starts to worriedly ask, but I cut him off as best I can.

“A rift, or more. It’s powerful. And close. We… We need to close it.” I can barely hear my own thoughts over the drum of my pulse. Wobbly, I pull myself up and allow myself to follow the red-hot pain to its source. Dorian and I now face a rift somewhere in the nearby woods. So far, the only demons flitting about are little green wraiths.

“Can you still fight?!” Dorian yells over the crackle of energy as he pulls his staff off his back. I nod. _I’m not going to let him fight alone. If I can go to school while battling period cramps, puking, and fainting, I can do this. Thank god I fight left handed._ We each take a side of the circle of wraiths. They aren’t going down as quickly as normal, but maybe that’s because there’s only the two of us. The second the wave is over the rift fires out more wraiths, without the usual pause between bouts. _Just what happened to make these more powerful? Is it just because I haven’t been around? Just how much time has gone by?_ We start the fight again.

When I seal the rift, the connection is much stronger and harsher than before. I almost collapse again before the line finally breaks and I’m freed from the rift’s grasp. I end up falling to my knees in exhaustion. Dorian is by me in an instant.

“Are you hurt?” I weakly shake my head no, I’m fine.

“I’m… okay. That rift… was a lot,” I swallow roughly, trying to catch my breath. “A lot more powerful than usual. I don’t know how many of this kind I can seal before I fall over. We need to find people quickly.” _And hopefully, avoid more rifts along the way._ Dorian extends a hand and helps me stand. The second I’m on my feet, I hear a twig snap to the right. Both Dorian and I jump, but only a squirrel runs by.

“Would you look at that? Life finds a way.” The Tevinter jokes. If I had the strength, I’d shove him.

“Ha ha ha, good one, Jeff.” As I turn to try and find which way we should go, there’s a bowstring being pulled and an arrow right in front of my nose. _How the hell did that get there?!_

 

“Drop your weapons, shem!” A man with long brown hair and green eyes is the one pointing the weapon at me. He’s an elf and he’s Dalish. He’s got brown vallaslin on his face, I think it’s Mythal’s. The brown tree tattoo extends from the branches on his forehead to the roots on his lower lip and chin. As he yells at us, more and more elves come out of the bushes and trees. I can see some with swords, bows, one’s got a slingshot. _And is that…? No, it can’t be a gun. That’s preposterous!_ Dorian holds his hands up in surrender and I quickly follow suit. When I look down my nose at the arrow I get dizzy. Reminds me of when I used to stick pencils near my forehead to try and gain psychic abilities. It never worked. The man with the drawn bow is approached by another man with a mage’s staff. He’s got long blond hair brushed to his right.

“Did you close that rift?” He asks in a harsh tone, the red tattoo of the hearth goddess over his right eye. He points the staff in Dorian’s face, which sparks menacingly.

“Y-Yes. I did.” The two elves exchange looks.

“Do you think…?” The brunette asks in a low whisper I can barely hear over the energy of the staff.

“Perhaps, but-” The other one bites back.

“She matches the description! She could be the one the Keeper spoke of.” Both Dorian and I meet each other’s eyes in confusion. _Keeper? What’s going on? Just how drastically did I change things by trying to talk down Alexius?_ The two elves turn back to us. “What are your names?”

“I am Dorian of House-” Dorian starts to give his little intro, but the first elf only raises his eyebrows as if to ask: ‘Really?’. The mage quickly speeds up his dialogue. “Dorian Pavus. This is Catherine.” As if on cue, the mark sparks yet again. _Is there another rift?_

“H-Hi. Ignore my hand. It, uh, does that sometimes?” Our two attackers look at each other for a long time before slowly lowering their own weapons.

“You both are to come with us.” The blond orders the two of us. “Do not try to run. Know that our arrows are trained on you, shemlen.” A couple elves behind us take our weapons and shove us along to follow the two who spoke to us.

“Do you have any idea what’s going on?” Dorian hisses as we continue to trek through the Hinterlands.

“No, not any more than you do. By trying to talk Alexius down I must have altered something drastically. We’re both at their mercy right now.”

“Indeed.” He says dryly as he attempts to fix his hair. Unfortunately for Dorian, it’s not working. “Kaffas!” The Vint swears under his breath.

* * *

  
By sunset, we’ve reached a hidden camp deep in the woods. The mark is still sputtering, but after a few hours, I’ve gotten used to it. Two guards outside were more elves in traditional Dalish armor, but I noticed a distinct lack of tattoos on their face. Maybe they’re city elves? The brown haired archer tried to get Dorian and I in, but only at the word of the blond man were we allowed into the elvish encampment. Dorian and I are led through like prisoners to the edge of the campsite, where a large tent is set up. Before a step further, the blond elf stops the two of us and the brown haired elf.

“Do not move. Lethalan! Watch them!” And quickly vanishes behind the tent flaps. Our babysitter frowns and rolls his eyes.

“Fiiine…” He grumbles and starts to bounce on his heels. The more I watch him, his face seems annoyingly familiar. Like I’ve seen him somewhere and forgot. I don’t think he’s an NPC in the game. And his voice sounds familiar too, now that I think about it. The man before us has his hair tied back into a long half-ponytail, reaching his upper back. The guy starts whistling one of Maryden’s tunes to keep himself entertained.

“Hey, you.” I attempt to get his attention. He stops mid-note and turns around to look at us. His eyes dart between us before he pretends he didn’t hear anything. _This guy is almost comical._ “Yo, dude, I’m talking to you.”

“And I’m not talking to you.” He replies, sounding increasingly familiar.

“Look, you got a name?” He shakes his head back and forth, his hair wiping back and forth.

“Of course I do, I can’t tell you. Not supposed to talk to prisoners.” _This is getting nowhere fast._

“Okay then, I’m a person. Now, what’s your name.”

“Not saying.”

“I just want your name.”

“No.”

“Tell me!”

“Nnnnno!” I growl in frustration. Dorian, meanwhile, looks amused as he watches the exchange.

“Yes.” I continue the banter.

“No.”

“Yes.”

“No!”

“Yes!” Now he whips around, eyebrows furrowed and his lips in a tight pout.

“I’m not supposed to talk to-”

“Thenn’ahn!” The blond elf has emerged from the tent.

_Wait, Thenn’ahn? Did I hear that right?_

“But… But!” He tries to whimper out, but is quickly cut off by the other one, who I’m guessing is his superior.

“You know you aren’t allowed to fraternize with prisoners! Weren’t you the one who let our last one escape because you started playing word games with her?” Thenn’ahn only slumps in defeat and allows the blond elf to glare at him. _If looks could kill…_ “You are coming with me!” He yells, now moving closer to Thenn’ahn and grabbing the elf by his ear.

“Ow!” Thenn’ahn winces, but the blond pays him no heed.

“You two are to go inside. The Keeper wishes to speak with both of you.” Just like that, Thenn’ahn gets dragged off, complaining all the way. I almost feel like my jaw has hit the floor. _No wonder I recognized his face. I made his face. I made Thenn’ahn. That’s my Inquisitor. He’s alive! He’s alive!! That’s my son! My boy! He made it! Thank god!_

 

Dorian leads me into the tent flap. The inside is very similar to a general's tent, almost like Cullen’s back at Haven. There’s a war table in the center with a map of the Hinterlands and various flags and such dotting the landscape. The figure who stands before us is the one who I didn’t expect to see.

“What in the goddamn?” Dorian seems as equally shocked, which almost find surprising since he hasn’t known my companions for very long.

“Well, I wouldn’t put it that way, but… This is a surprise.” The man has stopped leaning against a support pole and now moves to stand upright on the opposite side of the table. I never really thought about what happened to the companions I didn’t take with me. I never really thought they survived Corypheus. The one thing that really bothers me is- But Dorian finishes my thought for me. “Weren’t you bald the last time I saw you?”

 

Solas, or I should say concept art Solas, looks only slightly annoyed at the remark. His brown dreadlocks hang down his back, but a few have found their way in front of his shoulder. He wears that skull, or jawbone, or whatever decor on his forehead. The sides of his head have been shaved down. It’s not Solas who stands before us. It’s the Dread Wolf.

“I pluck you two from the middle of a war-zone and this is how you greet me?” Solas is a little more scarred than before, and his voice is a touch more ragged, but otherwise is the same. Dorian, however, doesn’t really pay attention to how grumpy Solas is and starts hurling questions at the poor elf.

“What do you mean war-zone?” Solas gestures at the table between us.

“We are in the middle of the War for the Breach. We fight Corypheus, the Elder One. Whoever controls the Breach controls the world. I seek to liberate it from-”

“Who is this ‘we’?” Solas sighs and I can see him restraining from pinching the bridge of his nose.

“My people, the Elvhen.” _Oh, so they’re your people now, huh?_ “Corypheus has an army of demons at his beck, murdering wherever he goes. For ten years now he has been trying to do who knows what with the Breach. The more he experiments, the more rifts appear and the stronger they become. At this rate, the Veil is almost non-existent.” _Well, bet you’re jumping for joy at that, huh?_ “Without that Mark to seal the holes in the Fade, very few are safe. My army and I have been held in the Hinterlands for some time, unable to move. You are lucky you ran into my scouts first. Alexius would be far less kind than I.” This is a lot to absorb.

“It’s been ten years for you?” Solas gives a deep nod, but past his rugged expression, I can see a hint of kindness in his eyes.

“Yes. With Alexius’ spell, a success and you proclaimed dead, the Elder One has commissioned him into creating a summoning device for others of your world. Sometimes they are lucky and obtain hardened military veterans or advanced technology. There are others who manage to escape. I have had a few in my group who defected from the Elder One’s cause. Sadly, many do not last long here.”

“So, this whole time you’ve been leading a rebellion?” He nods again.

“Yes, and a very weak one at that.” He sort of laughs to himself, muttering the next sentence. “How far the Dread Wolf has fallen…” It’s Dorian who reacts first.

“I’m sorry? Dread Wolf? I didn’t take you for a religious man.”

“I am not.” Solas quickly says, wanting to drop the subject. The Vint only presses on.

“Then why that name?” Grumbling, Solas gives a familiar explanation.

“I was Solas first. Fen’Harel came later. I took the name of the Dalish god to strike fear in my enemies and hope in my men.” Dorian seems to buy it, but unfortunately for me, Solas has noticed I forgot to be surprised. The elf coughs, getting back to the topic at hand. “Either way, I shall help the two of you return to your time immediately.”

 

Thankfully I don’t have to fake my surprise this time.

“You’re going to help us? Just like that?” I can see Solas’ eyebrows twitch downward, but he makes no other face at my hesitation.

“Of course I am.” He says, almost with a snort. “If the two of you can go back and reverse this, I won’t need to continue this fight for much longer. It is imperative you fix this timeline. I shall help you in any way that I can.” Both Dorian and I are silent for a moment. I decide to speak for us.

“That is very kind of you, Solas. Thank you.” Dorian says nothing until I rib him, at which he echoes my thanks. Now the elf turns to Dorian, expediently.

“What is it you need to complete your spell?” Now Dorian is back talking again, almost as excited as he was right after the portal.

“If I had Alexius’ amulet, his notes, or both, I could figure out a way to replicate the spell in reverse. But that’s if he’s even still alive-” Solas cuts him off with a raised hand.

“I have been keeping watch on his movements. Currently, Alexius works out of Skyhold, on experiments regarding time and space travel. If he is there, the amulet should be with him. If not, he should know where it is.” Now he bends low over the table, studying it closely and muttering to himself. “I shall have to alter the orders to my spies, but no harm done. We shall work on a more concrete plan later. You both are dismissed. You may go where you like, just remain in the camp. My soldiers should give you little backtalk if you have need of them.”

 

Dorian quickly takes the cue to exit. If he’s anything like in the game, he’s probably going to start asking whoever he can about the events of the past year. _No, ten years. It’s hard to swallow that._ Just as I’m about to step outside, Solas stops me.

“Just a moment, I would speak with you privately.” I slowly stop and turn around. This Solas doesn’t give the same vibes as the one I’m used to. I feel a little unsure of this one. But I can’t show him I don’t trust him, Dorian and I need his help. It’s not like we can go anywhere else right now.

“What is it, Solas?” The elf now strides around the table. I can see he’s wearing similar armor like he was at the end of Trespasser. Plate armor with a pelt around the shoulder. Gently, he takes the aggravated Mark in his own hands and begins to perform some sort of spell. It glows a bright blue and feels like an icy pack surrounding my forearm. When the glow has vanished from his eyes, he released my hand. I might have pulled back a little quicker than I intended.

“Do not be alarmed.” He says, seemingly taken aback by my fear. “I only mean to help you. With the large number of rifts, the mark has been getting out of control, has it not?” I pause for a little too long.

“Y-Yeah.” Solas, as usual, is excellent at picking up on body language.

“Are you frightened of me?” I quickly shake my head back and forth.

“No, no! It’s not you… All of this is a little shocking. I didn’t think it’d be ten years. Plus, uh, the hair is… different.” Thankfully, he doesn’t get as mad as when Dorian said the same thing. Instead, he actually laughs a little, like he did in the Fade the first time he snooped on my memory. I keep talking to fill the silence. The quicker I talk to him, the faster I can get out of here. I really want to talk to Thenn’ahn, see how my boy is doing. _How on earth he survived the Conclave…_ “So how did you calm the Mark? I’ve never seen you do anything like that before.” Solas only nods a few times, like he was expecting this question.

“With more and more rifts appearing, the Veil is weak and thin. As a result, more mages can manipulate the Fade with ease. Thus, it is easier to heal your Mark when it gets out of hand. I assume when you go back in time it will trouble you no further.” I nod a couples times while turning my wrist over and over, examining the bright green lines that trail up my hand. I have way too many questions I want to ask but don’t know which ones are the right questions.

“So how come people are calling you ‘The Dread Wolf’ now?” I think Solas’ suspicions have faded because he seems more relaxed as he answers my question with a much calmer facade than he was earlier.

“As I said, I took the name of the trickster from Dalish legend, Fen’Harel. Since I cannot combat Corypheus openly, I must use subterfuge and spies. Naming myself after the God of Lies and Decent is fitting, is it not?” _Oh, there are so, so many things I wish I could say. So many things I’ve kept bottled. And I have to keep this up for two more years? No, wait, the more I think about it, why should I care? After all, this timeline won’t have any effect on the original one once Dorian and I head back. I can say whatever I want to. I won’t face any repercussions from my Solas for this._

 

“Oh can it,” I blurt out, my need to make dog jokes outweighing my need for secrecy. “We both know you’re lying.” Solas’ previous look of suspicion is back. His eyes narrow a bit as he leans closer, looking directly into my eyes. _Man, I forgot how intimidating he is. Especially in that armor. And the hair._

“I’m sorry?” He says evenly. _Well, I opened this can of worms, might as well lie in it._

“Naming yourself after yourself is kind of narcissistic isn’t it?” Now he keeps watching me, I can see his arms are now crossed behind his back.

“And what proof do you have of this?” He asks, straightening himself and taking a few steps back. “Why should I believe you aren’t trying to trip me up into giving you more information than you need?” If there’s any piece of random words I remember, it’s his strange password from Trespasser. While the pronunciation of Elvin is fluid in the game and from Solas, I stumble over it like a bull in a china shop.

“Ar-mel- melana di-” _Crap I can’t say this stupid word._ “Dirt Tavern. No, that’s not it... Dirthavern! That’s it! Revas vir-anaris.” _Nailed it!_ Even with my awful pronunciation, Solas’s shock is clear to see. He takes a few, long moments to process my words. After a while he quietly asks:

“Who told you?”

“You did.” He opens his mouth to voice his confusion, but I just start spilling everything out. “See, when I said a while back that I only know what happens until the Breach closes, that was a lie. I know a lot more. I know what you did, what you plan to do, your real identity, what you end up doing to Flemeth, your spies in my spies, all of it. The only person who told me is you, two years after the defeat of Corpy when you comprise the Inquisition. I’m only telling you because it’s really hard keeping it all bottled, and this way, I can reveal my hand and there’s nothing you can do about it. When I go back in time this will never have happened and you’ll be none the wiser.”

Solas is still quiet but almost seems genuinely impressed.

“You put much faith in Dorian’s abilities. What if you cannot return?” Man, I hadn’t thought of that… I fake as much confidence as I can.

“I will.” Solas sees right through my act.

“Indeed. But if you can return, how are you sure I won’t attempt to stop you to keep you from stopping my plans in the past?” _Okay, this I can counter._

“Because you can’t. You’ve already said you’ll help me and Dorian reverse this however you can. The only reason you want to destroy the veil is to fix your past mistakes. You kill me, you’ve doomed yourself in both timelines and ensure this one will always exist. I have your Anchor, I can close that Breach and stop this timeline from existing. Surely you want that as much as anyone?” Fen’Harel grows silent like he’s conceding to my logic. At least, I hope he is.

“You have given this much thought.” He finally says

“You’re not the only one who can plan.”

“So it would seem.” The Dread Wolf says with a small smile on his scarred lips.


	23. Ride of the Halla

Now that I have nothing to do, I awkwardly stand in front of Solas’ tent, looking around at his base of operations.  I spot Dorian engrossed in some conversation with a hunter. I can’t make out what he’s saying from here, but if the way he’s gesturing with his hands is anything to go by, he’s excited.  The one thing I can hear over the bustle of speech, hammers, and arguments is goats. Or, at least it sounds like goats. 

When I turn to the left, I see a wooden pen for animals.  Inside are a dozen or so white deer. Their antlers are unlike any I’ve ever seen.  They curve upward and spiral-like decor in Lothlorien. Their eyes are big and black; a sharp contrast to their bleach white coats.   _ Those aren’t goats or deer, they’re Halla. _  As if drawn by curiosity or the intense need to pet one, I approach the pen.  Sitting in the grass by the gate is an elf, looking bored out of his skull. The second I’m near, his head jolts upward and his jaw goes slack in shock.

“H-Herald?!”   _ Oh no not you too… _  The elf quickly jumps to his feet and stands at attention.  “I served with the Inquisition under Dennet years ago, ma’am.”  A moment of silence passes and he still stands rigid.

“Uhh… at ease?”  He immediately relaxes.

“Thank you.  What can I help you with, Herald?”  I point to one of the Halla standing nearby.

“Can I pet them?!”  I ask a little too excitedly.  The elf seems to think it’s amusing.  He shrugs and sits back down where he was.

“As long as you don’t mistreat them, I don’t mind.”  With his approval, I step to the wooden fence and hop onto the first rung.  

 

Just like a petting zoo, a few of the halla come closer to sniff.  An adult comes the closest to me first, their horns long and sparkling in the setting sun.  Quickly hopping down, I grab a handful of long grass and hold it out. The halla pauses for a few seconds, looking at me with its big eyes, and starts munching from my hand.

“Hi there.”  I quietly say, not wanting to spook them.  Slowly, I extend my hand until I’m touching the Halla’s forehead.  The white coat is coarse like I’m petting a goat or a reindeer. “You’re really pretty, huh?”  The halla keeps chewing and blinks at me a couple times.

“Who’s a good goat-deer?”  I ask, now starting to pet the halla in earnest.  The animal eats more food from my hand. “Who’s a good little pretty witty deer?”  As if to answer my question, I hear a noise come from down below.

“Maaahahha!”   _ It’s a tiny baby! _  The little guy pokes his head out between the rungs to sniff at my pants.

“Hi you!”  I’m quickly overcome by the cuteness.  After giving the adult Halla a couple pats, I jump off the rung and crouch down.  Now I’m eye level with the baby. “Oooh, you’re such a cutie pie!”

“Meeeh!”  The halla bleats in response, now sniffing at my hair.

“Yes!  Yes, you are!  Hey, what are you-”  The baby starts to munch on my hair.  “That’s not food, silly!” I try to move the goat’s head away, but it’s too stubborn.

“No, naughty baby.  That’s not hay.”

“Maaaaa!”  It bleats again, now easily slipping through the rungs of the fence.

“Well you’re just a little explorer aren’t ya?”  The halla keeper doesn’t seem to be bothered.

“He does that.”  The elf says, not looking up from whatever he’s doing.  Now with this halla’s full attention, I sit cross-legged on the grass.  The halla immediately starts approaching my lap.

“Daw, you’re such a cute baby!”  He bleats in my face before headbutting me gently.   _ Having raised two cats, I assume he wants to be petted more?  Do goats- I mean halla- do that? _  I start petting his head.  “You little rascal! You’re just too cute!”

“Maaaahahah!”  He bleats loudly as I pet him.  I start to parrot the baby.

“‘Maaaahahaaaa’ to you too.”

“Maaaaa.”

“Mmmmmaaaaa.”   _ I’ve only known him for twenty seconds and I would die for him.  _  Suddenly, the halla baby headbutts me again.  Playing along, I fall back like he rammed me.  “Now look at what you did. Did you do that?” The baby has now climbed on my stomach to sniff my face again.

“Are you a silly billy?”  The hooves kind of hurt and this little guy weighs more than I thought, but I will survive. _  It’s so cute I’m gonna barf. _  The halla bleats in agreement as he starts munching my hair again.  “Aaaand back to this.” Suddenly, Dorian’s face appears upside down above me.

“Making friends with the local wildlife, are we?”  He asks as the halla jumps off me to start to sniff the mage.  I sit back upright.

“I made a friend!”  I proudly exclaim as Dorian bends down to pet the little halla baby.

“I can see that.  Hello there? What are-”  The baby halla has started to try and eat Dorian’s mustache.

“You little goof!”

_ Note to self:  Get halla as pet. _

* * *

 

The next day, Dorian and I are summoned to Solas’ tent at first light to discuss plans to locate the Magister.  Solas has unrolled a detailed map of Ferelden and Orlais and is now pacing back and forth as he speaks.

“Getting into Skyhold will not be easy.  I may have spies in the Elder One’s ranks, but that does not guarantee one of mine will be on duty when we arrive.  Storming the gate or any sort of attack is off. We will need to trick them if we are to even enter the main gates. Catherine,”  Now Solas stops momentarily to address me. So far, I’ve been standing beside Dorian doing my best to nod along and not doze off.

“Yep?”  I try not to yawn but I end up mumbling.  Solas makes no remark.

“This is where your knowledge will come into play.  Events may have been changed from what you expected, but your otherworldly nature is our strong suit.  Because some of your kind have slipped from the Elder One’s army, there is a reward for returning deserters.  If I take you and Dorian as my prisoners, demanding said reward, we ought to be allowed into Skyhold with little trouble.  You will need to instruct Dorian on a suitable disguise and must create one for yourself as well. If we reveal you as the one with the Anchor, we will be compromised and you will, no doubt, be killed on sight.”  Now Dorian traces the route from Fen’Harel’s camp to Skyhold. He’s frowning and mumbling to himself before he decides to speak his mind.

“That’s all well and good, but just how will we make it to Skyhold in so little time?  It would take, what, a week on horseback?” Now Solas stops pacing abruptly. He turns to the two of us with a devious smile on his face.

“I never said we were riding on horses, did I?”  Now he gracefully moves around the table, gesturing with a finger for us to follow him outside.

 

Solas takes us past the halla pen and onto a well-worn path.  After stumbling over sticks, stones, and pine needles that litter the dirt, we come across a clearing in the pine trees.  The item he’s shown us would have made me faint if he hadn’t said Corphy has been summoning other people like me. Dorian is also equally shocked but is much more confused.  I’m the first to speak of the two of us.

“How in the heck did you get a truck in here?”  I mumble as I pass the scout who’s guarding the perimeter.  It’s a grey with huge wheels.  _ Just hopping into trucks is hard enough for me, but this is ridiculous. _  I can see an old logo on the bumper with some of the paint starting to peel.  The tread on the wheels isn’t that worn. 

“One of your people who defected to my cause secured this for us.  However, he passed on in an attack from the Venatori and, along with his life, any knowledge of how to use this vehicle.  As such, it has been sitting here for some time.” I hop up on the step of the driver's seat and tug on the handle. The door doesn’t budge.  I call back to Solas and the scout.

 “Hey, you guys got the keys?”  Now Dorian’s beside me and peeking into the window.

“Just what is this?”  

“Uhh…”  I fumble for how to describe a car to him.  “Call it a mechanical carriage.” The Tevinter mage starts nodding as he fires off a billion questions.

“Did your people make this?”

“Yeah, it’s a car.  We drive it to get places.  Way faster than your stuff.”

“How does it work?”  Now I frown, never really having paid attention to this.  I was never into cars. Not my thing at all.

“Wires, a battery makes the engine go and turn the wheels.  It runs on gas. That’s all I got.” Suddenly, I’m tapped on the shoulder.  The second I turn around, the scout stands there, a set of car keys in his hand.

“I assume you meant these?”  I nod easily and take them.

“Yes, yes this is it.  Thank you!” The elf nods and backs away.  

 

Dorian has started to walk the perimeter of the car, checking the wheels, the back, poking at the hood.  While I’m slightly tempted to hit the panic button to spook him, we’re also in a war and drawing attention is suicide.  The second the locks click up and the headlights blink, Dorian grins like a kid.

“Oh!  What was that?”

“I unlocked it.  It was a button.”  I wave the keys around for him.  “See?” Now Solas approaches me, looking just as curious.

“Are you able to operate this machine?”  I nod as I jump back up to open the door.

“I should hope so.  Otherwise, I took Driver’s Ed for nothing.”  I leave the door open and sit in the seat. After putting the key in the ignition, the engine roars to life.  “Yo, it still works!” Solas nods along eagerly. 

I start looking at the gauges.  I have no clue how to check battery life, but since it seems to be okay, that must be a good sign.  The gas tank is still almost full.  _ Just how did this car get here?  Summoned? Was some poor guy just summoned to Thedas while driving down the highway?  Did he land here or have to drive? And what do we do if the gas tank runs low on the way?  There are no gas stations here. I’m just grateful it wasn’t a British driver... _  I poke the radio button to see if it works.  Sure enough, the thing comes on, but the only noise is a garbled static.  It’s loud and makes everyone in the clearing cringe. Quickly, I shut it off.  After reaching over to check the glove compartment, my mind is boggled again.

I’m not sure what I expected to be in there.   _ Napkins?  Registration papers?  The insurance? The car manual is shoved in a roll, but the other thing shouldn’t be there.  This field trip keeps getting stranger and stranger. The next thing that’s going to happen is Solas is going to turn out to be The Doctor and Alexius has become a Cyberman!  _  The only thing in there is a phaser from Star Trek.  I quickly take it out, confused as ever as I rotate it around in my hands.  I can’t see any indication it’s made of plastic. It’s got a weight to it and there’s no line anywhere to show a mold.  There are no screws to hide a battery compartment. I gingerly hit the power button and it whirs to life. On the little-backlit screen, I can see all the settings.  A bar with three settings is listed: Lowest, higher, and highest. The name on top is listed as stun. I look around for more buttons, finding one on the right-hand side.  After pressing it, the settings to higher, then highest. After pushing a third time, the setting switches to kill. I hurriedly hit the setting back to lowest stun and turn it off.  It fits into my bag, luckily.

_ There’s no way I’m letting go of this.  If it really does work, and it’s really real, I can use this.  This will be much, much more effective at fighting than a sword.  I have the upper hand now. No one around me knows what this is. Perfect. _

“See anything useful?”  Both Solas and Dorian are watching me expectantly from the open door.  I turn around, leaving the phaser off.

“Just the car manual and some kid’s toy in the glove box.  That’s all.” I lie directly in the face of Loki and Dorian Grey.  Loki seems to buy the toy explanation.

“If you are able to operate this ‘truck’ efficiently, Catherine, Dorian, we should begin preparations for Skyhold at once.”  Solas spins on his heel without another word, his hair whipping around as he does so.  _ Hair… it’s so hard to process he has hair. _

* * *

“No, Solas, the break!  Hit the breaks!” I yell at the back of his head as Solas clunkily tries to drive the truck to the edge of the path to Skyhold.  “You drive worse than my grandmother!”

“I am trying!”  He yells back as the car lurches forward as soon as he slams on the breaks.  I get shot forward and my face meets the back of Solas’ seat.

“Gently…”  I grumble into the upholstery.  “You pump the breaks gently.” If I had my hands free, I could pull myself up.  Instead, I’m left to awkwardly try and heave myself up. Solas decided it would be less suspicious if he were to drive as we approach our enemies base, leaving Dorian and I with our hands bound as his ‘prisoners’.  I argued it would be logical for him to force the only one who can drive to drive, but I was quickly silenced. The Solas is much gruffer and it’s his way or the highway. The only reason Solas stopped is there’s a checkpoint before we reach Skyhold.  One of the Venatori walks forward and taps on the window.

“There’s a button on your left, on the door.  Roll down the window next to you.” I hiss at the elf.  Now I turn to Dorian. “Remember, you’ve gone crazy. When they ask you to speak, just start yelling about Queen Victoria or the East India Trading Company.  Act overly posh and stuck up. If they do push for a name, go with Gandhi, that’s the only one I can think of.” He nods just as Solas figures out the correct button to lower the driver’s window.

“State your business.”  The guard orders. Solas clears his throat before pointing over his shoulder at the two of us.

“I caught two outworlders trying to cross the Ferelden border to Orlais.  I want the reward the Elder One promised for their kind.” Now the guard looks back at us suspiciously.  

“Lower the back window.”  He gruffly tells Solas, who casually presses the button.  Now the Venatori stalks over to us, examining both Dorian and I.  “And who are you two?” He asks, an eyebrow raised.  _ I better start talking, fast and a lot.  If I leave it up to Dorian, we’ll get caught.  I’m bad at improv, but let’s hope the adrenaline kicks in soon. _  I put on an exaggerated valley girl accent.

“Okay, first of all, this is bullshit!  I was on my way to Hawaii, not wherever the fuck this frozen wasteland is!  I get randomly kidnapped by some bald asshole and shoved into this stupid truck,”  I start sniffling and wailing on. “Like, what the fuck is up with this Lord of the Rings BS?  Why the hell did you kidnap me?!” I start kicking the back of Solas’ seat to act convincing, screaming as loud as I can.

“Fuck you, fuck you, fu-”  Fen’Harel whips around in the seat and glares at me.

“Quiet!”  He growls.  _ Damn is he scary. _

“Take me home right now!  What do you want? Money? My daddy can pay your stupid fee, I hope you choke on it-”

The Venatori suddenly bangs on the car.

“You’d better shut your mouth if you want to live, spoiled bitch.”  He growls at me. I glare at him and stick up my nose.

“Hmph!”  Now he glances at Dorian.

“What’s his story?”  I scoff as exaggerated as I can.

“Like, whatever, I don’t fucking know him.  He’s just nuts or something.” Dorian takes this introduction to start talking as loudly as he can.

“All hail Queen Victoria!”   _ Oh, thank god my lessons stuck. _  “Who in the bloody devil are you?”  He asks, staring strangely at the Venatori.  The man before us looks a little started at the volume.

“Driver, I demand you untie me, this is a most unorthodox method of travel.”  The Venatori seems to be buying the act.

“And just where are you from?”  Dorian starts to speak, but I cut him off.

“Like, he said something about India or, whatever.  I think that’s in Norway? I mean, I think he’s British, anyway.  Normally I’d toootaly go for a Brit, but he is soooooo not my type.”   _ It’s funny because he really isn’t my type. _  Now Solas scoffs from in front of us.

“You see what I’ve had to deal with?  Just let me through and take them off my hands.  Not sure if they’ll be any use to you, they’re both complete idiots.”  Both Dorian and I frown at the remark and I kick the elf’s seat again for good measure.  The Venatori has walked back to Solas and waved him on. The windows roll up again and we’re back to Solas’ awful, awful driving.

__

The three of us are escorted by a guard in red armor up the steps to the castle.  The grounds are barren and black here. Out of the corner of my eye, I catch a glimpse of where the tavern should me.  I just hear screams of people in fear and pain. I don’t think I want to know what’s in there. The eerie red light from the under the door reminds me of a horror film.  The second we’re inside the foyer, the guard stops and turns around.

“Wait here with your prisoners while I fetch who’s in charge.”

“Of course,”  Solas says, stepping in front of us.  I see he’s starting to reach for the knife under his cloak.   _ I’m just happy they didn’t search us for weapons.  How is Corphy so stupid? Is he just relaxed because he’s got control of the world? _  Just as the guard turns around, Solas has his knife in hand and quickly darts forward.  The poor guy’s last words are a yelp as Solas slaps a hand over his mouth and quickly slits his throat.  Both Dorian and I sit there mostly as Solas drops the man on the floor without a change in expression.

“I thought you said you had spies here?  What if that was one of your men?” I ask him while he cuts our bindings with a bloody knife.  Solas remains stern.

“We are directly in the enemy’s base.  Even if he was mine, he would turn us in to keep up appearances.  I cannot take any chances. Would you rather I let us be caught and killed to save one man?”  I bite back a remark as Dorian places his staff on his back.

“Where on earth would Alexius even be?  Just how large is this fort?”

Now that Solas and Dorian are discussing where to start snooping, I take a look around the main hall.  Where there were decor and a carpet leading to the throne at the end of the room, that has all changed. All around us are jail cells holding all kinds of people.  Most just seem like regular people from other cultures or time period, utterly frightened and alone. I see someone who looks like a Viking angrily trying to pry the bars open.  A samurai sits on the floor of the cell opposite him, with a thousand yard stare at the three of us. Solas and Dorian are arguing over where to go, both of them serious.

“I say we search the basement.”  Solas declares. “Were I experimenting on dimensional travel, I would put my experiments out of sight.”

“You don’t know Alexius!”  Dorian fires back. “I worked with him for years.  The man needs a large space with an ample amount of light.  Just how does one take notes in a dark, ruddy basement exactly?”  Fen’Harel only rolls his eyes.

“A candle, one could assume.”

“Guys!  Focus!” I snap at them.  The two of them finally remember I’m right beside them.

“His notes could be anywhere.  We need to start now and find them.  The only places I can think of that would be good for a research facility are the war room, the quarters upstairs, or the undercroft down below.  We can search those places first. If they aren’t there, we try somewhere else. But I need you both on the same page or else we’re just wasting time.”  Both of them frown a little, but Dorian agrees quickly.

“Catherine’s right, we can’t just argue with each other.”  Solas gruffly nods and starts walking down the hall.

“To the War Room, then.”  The Tevinter mage and I are right on his heels.

“And you know where you’re going?”  Dorian asks as Solas turns on his heel to march down the hallway that leads to where Josie’s office should be.   _ At least Corphy didn’t make any extension or knock this place down. _

“Mind your tongue,”  Solas replies. “If you are going to question me, then I shall leave you both on your own.”

“Find then.  But why are you so eager to get into Skyhold in the first place?  There has to be a reason other than helping us. Why else would you agree so quickly?”  _  I hate to say it, but Dorian has a good point.  Since we got here, Solas seems a lot more guarded and bitter.  And he did jump on board with us quickly. Dorian and I never even really explained we were from the past.  I mean, I did explain what would happen to Solas before we headed for the castle, but it’s been ten years, he might’ve forgotten something. _

But Solas gives no answer when we reach the door to what was the War Room.

__

 

 


	24. Back In Time

The second Solas bursts the doors open with a spell, I can see the supposed-to-be war room is no more.  Instead of a giant table in the center, it has been replaced with some type of ritual. I can see tall poles arranged over a circle drawn on the floor.  The three of us step into the room, each reacting differently to our surroundings. I’m still trying to figure out what this all is, Dorian has immediately bolted to the edge of the drawings, studying them closely.  Fen’Harel has not moved from his stance in front of the doors.

“Search thoroughly.”  He says in a clipped tone.  “We must move quickly.” _Jerk isn’t even going to help us?_

While Dorian keeps prodding at the poles around the room, I spot a chest in the corner and move to get a better look.  The hinges creak with a groan, but I don’t have to bash the locks. Inside I can see ores and craft materials, mostly copper or silver.  On a tiny shelf to the left, I see a small spiral bound notebook. _We are supposed to look for notes or the amulet and that is a notebook._  I slowly touch it, in case there’s a trap, but nothing happens as I coil my fingers around the edges and open it up.

 

‘ **Day 1:  The Elder One has demanded I replicate the manner the girl was summoned to interpret the ritual at the Temple.  He wants an army, the upper hand, a power that will shake the world even more than he will. The orb shall provide the energy for a powerful catalyst, provided I can discover the proper mechanics of this spell.**   **This keep is small and cramped, but the more power the Elder One gains we should be able to gain a more suitable base of operations.  Perhaps a castle would do for the experiments?’**

 _This has to be Alexius’ notebook on his trials.  Maybe I can figure out how he did it? Could that help Dorian?  There’s got to be something useful, maybe he mentions where he put the amulet or a base of some kind?_  I scan the dates at the top of the page.   _The date is before I went to meet Alexius, so some of this information might help in the past._  I start rapidly scanning paragraphs in hopes something will catch my eye.  On the fifth page, something does.

**‘Trial 5:  The Gods are with us today.  I have done it. Now before us is a man.  He was dressed in a robe and held a number of injuries.  Thankfully the healers stationed nearby were able to get to him quickly enough.  They said only a small number of the stab wounds were fatal. He should recover. He is middle aged with a close-shaven head.  He is a man who has seen many battles, I am sure. Perhaps he shall be useful to our cause?’**

**‘Trial 7:  We are unable to communicate with our subject.  I know little of the ancient language and my assistants are of no help in this matter.  The Elder One is the only one able to speak to him fluently. The man gives no name, only an impressive resume of a soldier and conqueror.  Wherever he came from, the Elder One is pleased. I have heard rumors our General may be in consideration to be replaced.’**

_Replacement?  I remember if you side with the Mages, you fight Samson, a former Templar.  The date is close to when I went to Redcliffe. Does that mean Samson’s getting the boot?  Who is it they summoned? I can’t figure it out._  I skip ahead a few years to see what he did when this project was in full swing.

**‘Trial 150:  The success I had with our first subject has been less and less.  There are some summoned who have arcane- or as they insist ‘scientific’- knowledge.  There are a multitude of military men who have risen quickly in our ranks. However, some manage to slip through our fingers.  Mostly commoners or other sorts. The last subject was a dwarven child, barefoot, with a green cloak. Though he had a blade when he showed signs of resistance our commandant had him killed.  The only thing of value on his person was a gold ring on a chain. I can sense a dark magic emanating from it. I requested the Elder One let me study it further, but it was taken out of my hands after a guard posted to watch it went mad and killed his fellow.  By the time we discovered the incident both were gone. Perhaps it is best this way? I wonder just who the boy was?’**

_This dick summoned and killed Frodo?!  And now the one ring is loose? Shit. Crap.  We gotta get out of here fast…_  I can’t make much more sense of this.  Alexius just keeps going on into his failures, Corphy is getting angrier and angrier.  I can see he’s beginning to have doubts about ‘killing’ me and that he should’ve listened to what I had to say.  

**‘...Felix has been dead for some time.  He walks and eats, but that creature is no longer my son.  He is nothing but a darkspawn ghoul I have been keeping alive for no reason.  I put him out of his misery today, praying his soul can forgive his poor father.  I never wanted this. I just wanted my son to live. That’s what any parent would want.  Am I wrong to have done this? To have dragged people from their lives and homes to fuel this war?  Sometimes I run my hands over the amulet, wondering if it would even be worth it to try and fix my own mistakes?  The Elder One dislikes my new melancholy and demanded I throw the amulet away- that time manipulation is no longer our goal and sentiment is not worth having.  But I cannot bring myself to. I have hidden it away behind a loose stone-’**

 

“‘In the area where all our important and priceless artifacts are kept.  Perhaps someone will discover it, but I do not care. I have nothing to care for now.  I keep this as a memory of Felix. Under the stone where his head lay when his body passed on.”  There is a small diagram of the undercroft, an X marked near where the player customizes Skyhold in the game.

_Holy shit, this date is only a few months ago.  I think I figured it out._

 

“Guys!”  I turn around and yell, waving the journal in my hand.  “I think I found something!” I can see Solas hasn’t moved and is still watching us like a hawk.  The expression on his face makes the hairs on my neck stand up. It’s almost like my fight or flight instinct is going off.   _I don’t think I trust him anymore…_  Dorian, who has been waving a glowing hand around the markings and poles, stops and runs over.

“What have you got there, Catherine?”  I hand the mage the journal, open to the page with the diagram.

“It seems Alexius keeps his notes close to his experiments.  It details what they’ve been up to. Alexius has been rapidly summoning my people to give Corphy the upper-hand in war.  Only been successful a few times. But in the later entries, he details where he hid the amulet. It’s right across the hallway, under a stone tile in the Undercroft.”  Dorian flashes a grin and messes up my hair.

“Well done!  I told you you’d be a help, didn’t I?  Right then! Let’s get a move on, shall we?”

* * *

 

Dorian stands on the steps of the staircase, scanning the Undercroft.  Since he’s taller than I am, I can’t see what’s in front of him, only to the sides.  There’s no stations for crafting armor or weapons in here. Instead, it seems the Venatori have been stockpiling magical items from my world and theirs.  I can see a crate full of guns to one side, right next to a barrel of staves. The area beside the waterfall is mostly unchanged; the only difference is a few shackles are bolted to the floor.   _That must have been where Alexius kept Felix as a ghoul._

After scanning the notebook for a few seconds, Dorian points, muttering to himself as he walks.  The second he moves, he heart is in my throat. I can feel a chill down my spine as I look at what’s in the center of the room.

The Orb of Fen’Harel is just sitting there, floating on a pedestal, surrounded by a shimmering green barrier.   _Is Corphy so powerful in this timeline he doesn’t need the orb?  Has he just grown soft? Why isn’t he even here? Shouldn’t we have run into him by now?_   _Wha-_  But my thoughts grind to a halt as Solas passes me, walking to the Orb as if in a trance.   _I don’t like that look in his eyes.  I definitely don’t like that smile on his face.  If this Solas has been fighting for longer than in the original timeline, he must want that ball something bad.  I can’t let him touch it. Who knows what he’ll do with it?_  Dorian’s back is to Solas as he starts tapping the stones with his staff.  The elf, meanwhile, has gotten closer to the barrier. As quietly as I can, I take the phaser out of my bag and start to get closer.

 

“Solas… What are you doing?”  The elf says nothing as he raises his hand to the barrier, a soft blue glow.  “Solas, answer me!” Just before he touches it, Fen’Harel turns to me. His face is neutral, but I can see a sour look in his eyes.

“I wish to examine the magic used here.  It is a powerful object and could be useful.”  He’s talking a little too loud, he must be making sure Dorian overhears.

“Like hell you do!”  I hiss at him, now turning the phaser on.  It hums to life as I stiffen and hold it out in front of me with both hands, his eyes trained on me.  “You’re going to step away from there. Now.” He only laughs a menacing chuckle, one that sets warning bells off in my head.

“Am I?”  He asks in a calculating tone, one eyebrow raised.  “You think to order me?” I try not to buckle under his gaze and glare at him.

“I said: back off.  Wolf.” His eyes only narrow when I call him that.

“Oh.”  Is the only thing he says as he places his hand to the green wavering lights surrounding his ball.  It shatters as soon as he does so, like silent glass or crumbling sand. The green shards do not hit the ground.  They only disappear into the wind. “I do not think you could. Tell me, Catherine,” He says my name with a new venom in his tone.

“You think I do not know what you hold?”  I keep my face neutral. He’s just trying to mess with me.  “Did you not wonder why that device was in the glove compartment?  Or why I let you check the interior first? You actually believe I would leave such a thing as a car alone?”   _He’s trying to trick me, he’s trying to trick me._  Solas keeps monologuing, clearly thinking he’s in control.   _Maybe I should keep him going?  Get Dorian’s attention somehow?_

“What do you mean by that?”  Now there’s more of a smirk on his face when he starts to explain.

“What you hold is a useless replica that I planted for you to find.  Holding it would give you the confidence to try and stop me. The minute you told me everything, I had to change my plans.  By your tone, I assumed you would do whatever it takes to stop me.” Now he stops as he gives me a once over. “And it seems I was correct.”  I grit my teeth as I glare at him harder.

“What are you talking about?”

“I’ve had my agents looking for you for a reason.  Do you know how long I’ve been waiting for you to return with my mark?  Without it, my plans for the Orb are useless. I only ever needed to get you here.  Pavus is simply extra baggage I will deal with later. He is never going to find Alexius’ amulet.  The only thing there is a pile of bones. Did it never occur to you how we are able to walk freely within this place?  You truly think Corypheus controls my castle?” Now he reaches into his pocket and dangles a familiar object in front of me.  “You think I would let this from my grasp for ten years?” I feel like I’ve been kicked in the gut. _I got played.  Solas just handed me my ass.  I was such an idiot..._

 

Now he starts stepping closer to me, a menacing pace to his steps.  The amulet is dropped by the pedestal as the Dread Wolf only prowls towards me with every passing second.

“Without your mark, I cannot properly close the Veil.  I cannot restore my people to their full height.” I start backing up to keep away from him.   _This is worse than Trespasser.  The egg finally cracked…_

“You can’t do that!  You’ll be committing genocide!”  Now I’m full on yelling at him, praying Dorian hears before I get pinned against the wall. _But he’s close to the waterfall, can he even hear me?_

“I have long stopped caring about those beasts that contaminate the earth.  All this world is my doing.” Now Solas is getting emotional and begins to yell as well.  “I created the veil! This is my mistake that I must change!”

“Solas, if this is anyone’s mistake, it’s mine!  When I was running around claiming I’m an alien, I was trying to be honest.  Now it’s turned cultists to rip people and items from my world that should never, ever be here.  I’ve messed up your world beyond belief.” I’m now whimpering as my back hits the stone. I’m praying I can appeal to the man I once knew, to the man who begs the Inquisitor to prove him wrong.  “Please… You can’t do this. It’s wrong…”

“I don't care.”  He says in a low voice.  “My victory is so close I can see it.  All I have need of is your arm”

Now Solas reaches out and easily knocks the phaser out of my hand.  Just as quickly as he dispatched the guard, which probably **was** one of his men, he grabs my wrist with a vice.  As he does so, he seems to be using his magic to activate the mark.  I can feel a sting the longer he holds me. The mark starts to spark and the pain only grows more intense.  

“Stop it!  Let me go!”  He does not listen and only starts to yank me forward to the pedestal.

“If you do not cooperate I shall take the Mark by force!”  The more he squeezes and drags, the more I’m in fear for my life.  He’s gone nuts! He’s going to rip down the Veil here and now, isn’t he?

“You were never going to help us you asshole!”  I scream at him and try digging my heels. It doesn’t work.  “You dick! You’re insane!” Solas only snorts at my remarks and turns his head.

“You should watch your-”  But then my saving grace comes and Solas gets whacked in the back of his skull with the head Dorian’s staff.  The elf falls down, either dazed or knocked unconscious. The second his grip releases I bolt away from him, Dorian’s arm in front of me.

“Another blighter falls!”  My heart is still pounding as Dorian retrieves Alexius’ amulet from where Solas tossed it.

“Holy fuck dude, I owe you!”  He only gives a short laugh as he twirls the necklace around his hand.

“Fasta vass!  That bald maniac played us both for a fool!  I assume I realized it before you did?” I nod a couple times, now confused.

“How did you know?”  He shrugs.

“That last entry and diagram were much too obvious.  Besides, the last entry wasn’t even close to Alexius’ handwriting.  I’m afraid our wolf will have to do better than that.” We both retreat from Solas closer to the waterfall, Dorian already starting to try and maneuver the spell.  I glance at the drop below us. It’s so far I can barely see the bottom. While Dorian grumbles to himself, I keep an eye on Solas. _He’s a powerful mage.  I doubt a blow to the head is enough to keep him down._

“It’s been awhile, but I remember the essay correct…”  While Dorian starts getting absorbed, I see the Wolf place a hand on the ground to push himself up.  I start tugging on Dorian’s collar.

“How fast can you work that thing?!”  I yell above the roar of the water. Dorian seems confused until I point at the groggy elf pushing his hair out of his face.  I look back again at the water and the drop. _I wonder…  It’s crazy, but…_  I look to Dorian again.  “Can you get us back before we hit the ground?”  Now he too looks at the drop and his eyes go wide as he makes a face at me.

“Are you mad?!”  I give a quick shrug and point to Solas.

“Maybe.  Look, he wants me, I stay here, he wins.  Veil gone, we all die here and now.” Now I point over the edge.  “We jump, we might have a chance!”

 

Dorian inches closer to the edge, some pebbles falling under his foot.  He takes a few long looks between me and the water. After a moment, I see him tie the necklace to his staff tightly and gripes his weapon like our lives depend on it.

“You had better be right about this!”  Just at that second, Solas is standing and sees us.   _He’s one pissed off dog…_

“We don’t have a choice anymore!”  I yell, grabbing his arm and dragging the Tevinter mage off the edge.  

 

We’re falling a lot faster than I thought.  It almost reminds me of what might happen when the Inquisition breaches that Warden Fortress.  Same idea, except it’s not up to me if we survive. I’m not really looking at Dorian as we go careening off the side of a cliff, but I see his staff in front of us, glowing and priming the amulet with energy.   _This better work, this better work!_  I can feel my past decisions flashing in my mind.   _Did I really do the right thing?  Is Solas standing yet? Made his way to the edge?  Is he watching us fall?_  I can see the ground rushing up to meet us and I start praying to anyone who would listen.   _Jesus, Andraste, it doesn't matter, I don’t want to know what dying feels like!_

But, thank god, I never find out.  A green swirl appears in front of Dorian and I.  There’s a mixture of the rushing water, wind, and magical energy as we skyrocket into the vortex.  Everything turns green. There’s the strong wind around us from our fall that starts to die down the longer we’re in here.   After ten seconds, I hit the ground hard, landing face first into a carpet.

 

As I sit up, rubbing my face, I can see Dorian beside me, standing and brushing some dirt off his shoulder like nothing happened.

“You’ll have to do better than that to kill us, Alexius.”  Quickly, I jump to my feet and point at the now dumbstruck Magister and his son.

“Hey Lexi, I’m hoooome!  Got any more parlor tricks for me, dick weasel?”  I can still feel my pulse racing. My heart hasn’t calmed down.   _Holy shit… we’re alive!_  The Magister who tried to end my life holds up his hands.

“You won.”  He says without a trace of anger.  “There is no point in extending this… charade.  Felix…” Alexius sounds so desperate as his son approaches him.  Felix only looks at his father sadly.

“It’s going to be alright, Father.”  He says, placing his hands on Alexius’ shoulders.  I can see Alexius desperately not wanting to believe his only son.

“You’ll die!”

“Everyone dies.”  Felix now steps aside for two of Leliana’s scouts to bind his hands behind his back and lead him outside.  I can see Cassandra and Varric both watching us from a place near the throne, both equally shocked.

“Well, I’m glad that’s over with.”  Dorian now says to fill the silence.  I turn my head to him, starting to calm down from that whirlwind.

“If you ever go on another time travel escapade, please don’t invite me.”  He nods in agreement and gives a smirk at my joke.

“Sure, we can go to Rivian instead.  I hear the beaches are lovely this time of year.”

“Sounds like fun.  You’re buying the boat tickets, though.”  But instead of a fun wind down, the doors burst open again and a lot of soldiers start marching in.  “What the-”

“Or we aren't out of the woods yet,”  Dorian mumbles as the men take their places in front of the pillars.  In the center of the doorway steps a familiar but grumpy looking regal man.

 

“Grand Enchanter!”  King Alistair booms the second he lays eyes on Fiona, who’s been watching this all from somewhere near my right.  “We’d like to discuss your abuse of our hospitality.” _Oh, so he’s using the royal we?  Interesting from the guy who didn’t want to be king years ago.  Has he embraced his birthright?_  Fiona quickly drops into a bow, the anger in his voice making her shudder.

“Your Majesty!”  The King of Ferelden, once my best friend in another life, slowly walks down the carpet closer to us.

“When we offered the Mages sanctuary, we did not grant them the right to drive our people from their homes.”  Fiona has now raised herself and steps closer as she desperately tries to explain herself.

“King Alistair, your majesty, I assure you we never intended-”

“In light of your actions, good intentions are no longer enough.”  Alistair’s face only grows sterner as he speaks. _Hard to believe this is the guy who’d joke about Templar pillow fights or lampposts in winter.  How people change…_  “You and your followers have worn out your welcome.  Leave Ferelden or we’ll be forced to make you leave.”  Fiona is shocked into silence for a few moments, starting to ramble off in fear of this man before her.

“But, we have hundreds who need protection.  Where will we go?” _For a second, I forget I have something to do.  No one else is coming forward to help her. I came here to get her help and I won’t leave without it._ I cough and step beside Fiona.

“I believe this is my cue?  I mean, I sort of did come here for your help in the first place.”  Instead of jumping for joy, the elven mage acts guarded. _But after what just happened, I would too._

“And what are the terms of this arrangement?”  Dorian quickly pipes up from his place behind us.

“Hopefully better than what Alexius gave you.”  He meets my eyes as he says the next line. “The Inquisition is better than that, yes?”  Just as I’m about to answer him, both Cassandra and Varric step beside him.

“No one fights well for their captors.”  The Seeker notes. “But these mages have proven themselves dangerous.  Decide carefully.” I nod back to her. _I know she’d approve of keeping them prisoners, but I made that mistake once to keep her approval when I played Thenn’ahn and I regret that still.  I won’t make the same mistake twice._

“I’ve known a lot of mages.  They can be loyal friends if you let them.  Friends who make bad decisions, but still. Loyal.”  I give Varric a nod as well, knowing exactly he’s talking about Anders.  Fiona shifts her gaze between the three of them before turning back to me.

“It seems we have little choice but to accept whatever you offer.”   _I know in the game there’s probably a rousing and heroic speech, but I’m exhausted and dirty and haven’t the time for the mental gymnastics of sounding eloquent._

“I would be really happy if you agreed to help me close the Breach.  I’m not Alexius, this isn’t a contract. When the Breech is sealed if your people decide to leave or stay is up to them as individuals.  And hell no am I making children fight. That’s a dick move, pardon my lingo. So, you in?” She’s surprised, but her shock quickly shifts from a momentary smile to a pensive look.

“A generous offer!  But will the rest of the Inquisition honor it?”  I glance around the room, at Cass, Varric, Dorian, the agents.

“They better or else I’mma get real mad.”  I see Varric smile out of the corner of my eye.  “I need your full support to close the Breach. Anything less than the best is a felony.”

 

Now the King, who’s been silent, speaks up.

“Riiiight then.”  He says slowly, giving a hint of the younger Alistair underneath that long beard and fur-trimmed armor.  “It’s a generous offer. I doubt you’re going to get a better one from us.” Fiona turns back to be and nods deeply out of respect.

“On behalf of the Mages, I accept your offer.  It would be madness not to. I will gather my people and ready them for the journey to Haven.  The Breach will be closed. You will not regret giving us this chance.” She bows to me, which feels weird, and leaves, the other mages quickly following at her heels.  Alistair and his guards haven’t left yet. The King opens his mouth to say something, but another man appears beside him, angrily walking through the doorway with another contingent of soldiers.  Alistair seems almost as surprised as I am.

“Arl Tegan!  You’ve arrived just in time.”  Teagan looks much older, the anger making his lines increase.  

“Not that it was quick with all the bloody Inquisition forces traipsing around my land!”   _Oh, hehe, that me._  The man angrily points a finger in my direction.  “And just who are you?”

“Indeed,”  Alistair says, suspiciously looking at me.  “Who are you?” _I’m a sneaky-witch thief, that’s what._

“I’m me, who are you?”  Neither of them like this snarky answer.

“We are the-”  But I cut Alistair off, having little patience for any more of this formal poppycock.

“What is up with the we stuff?  I only see you.”

“We-”  He stops and begrudgingly corrects himself.  “I am the King of Ferelden, your ruler.” I snort, barely containing my annoyance.

“I didn’t vote for you.”  Teagen angrily moves closer.

“You don’t vote for kings.”  He grouchily corrects me. But then Alistair cuts in, sounding a bit more rambly, like his old self.

“Well, unless you’re a dwarf, but King Bhelen got rid of the Assembly years ago.”   _He did?  I forgot about that._  Now each Ferelden noble looks at me again.

“Do you hail from Orzammar?”  At that second, my three companions are at my side.

“What’s that?”  At that second, Cassandra shakes her head at me and places a hand on my shoulder.  Tegan scoffs and addresses the Seeker directly, pointing angrily again.

“Just get your Inquisition out of my bloody castle!”

 _Fine grumpy.  Hope you like it._  I mull over as Cassandra pushes me past the two men and out into the sunlight.


	25. Dorian

After we got back to Haven, I immediately seek out Dorian.  Mostly it’s because for all we went through, we don’t really know each other.  I mean, I know him, but I can’t exactly walk up to him and say ‘Yo I know your entire character arc and we were besties, let’s start there’.  He’d probably turn around and leave. Or ignore me. I don’t like either option.

I find him in his usual Haven spot, leaning against a building near the Apothecary.  Solas isn’t standing outside his cabin, which means he won’t be eavesdropping. When Dorian spots me approaching, his face breaks out into a smile.  I wave at him as I draw near.

“Yo, what’s up, my dude?”  The Tevinter mage pushes himself off the wall and stands upright.  I notice without his armor, he’s wearing an obnoxious number of belts and his right shoulder is uncovered.   _Why???_  “What happened to your sleeve?”  I ask, pointing for a second at his lack of cloth.  Dorian seems to take it in stride.

“It got up and ran off.  Can’t bear whatever Ferelden calls ‘fashion’.  Have you seen their boots?” I know very little about fashion, but I’ll play along.

“Shapeless, amiright?”  He laughs at my joke. _At least somebody gets my sense of humor.  So far I’ve got Sera and Dorian who think I’m funny.  Varric is most of the time. Cass and Solas are hit and miss.  Maybe Cole will think I’m funny?_

“Exactly!  So,” He begins, clearly having another topic in mind.  “The Inquisition supports free mages. What’s next? Elves running Halamshiral?  Cows milking farmers?”

“Yes.  Totally.  I’m in. Let’s go make pigs fly or something.”

“No wonder you and Sera get along like a house on fire.”  He muses. “I approve of your decision. Heartily.” _Yaaaas!  Approval!  People like me!  He likes me! More friends!  All the friends! Friendship!_

“I do wonder if you’ve considered what this support of yours will do.  For mages in general, I mean. The Inquisition is seen as an authority.  You’ve given Southern mages license to… Well, be like mages back home.” _I honestly keep forgetting how Tevinter works.  So far, most of the guys I’ve met from there are crazy mage jerks.  Except for Fenris and Dorian, anyway._

“Welp, if half of Tevinter is like you, is that really a problem?”  He gives a short laugh and I can’t tell if it’s out of humor or sarcasm.

“There aren’t many mages back home like me.”  He explains. “I never fit in. Bloodstains are so difficult to clean, you see?  But you’d be a fool not to see where this could lead.”

“I’m not from here, remember?  How could things go wrong? Isn’t freedom a good thing?”  Dorian has a small ‘Oh yeah’ moment and lightly smacks his forehead.

“You’d think I’d remember that Thedas’ favorite Herald also happens to be from another universe.  Thing is, the Imperium was once just like the south. Templars, proper Circles, all that wrought. Then it changed, by inches.  Not that this is a reason to oppress us. Still, my homeland should be a cautionary tale and not a source of inspiration.” I nod a few times. _Sort of like Rome is a cautionary tale.  Spread too far, split the government, get too proud, you get taken out by food shortages._

 

“So, Dorian, we travel through time and save the future together, but I don’t exactly know much about you.”  I see him smirk and he starts wiggling his fingers and taking on an exaggerated tone, almost like Dracula or something.

“Beyond my being a mage from Tevinter, you mean?”  I start laughing along with him.

“Yeah, that.”

“And beyond my being so charming and well dressed.  Which is obvious to anyone.”

“And your dope mustache.”  He gives a pleased look as he twirls it.  Then, he places a hand on his heart and starts speaking in a voice almost like a southern baptist preacher.

“I am the scion of House Pavus.  A product of generations of careful breeding and the repository of its hopes and dreams.  Naturally, I despised it all.” He starts counting off on his fingers. “The lies, the scheming, the illusions of supremacy.  That’s Tevinter in a nutshell, isn’t it? Needless to say, my family was not happy with my choices.” I frown to myself. _I know sort of what he’s talking about, but Dorian might not actually mean what I think he’s talking about._

“What sort of choices?”

“Well, running off to stop my former mentor and help you lot out, for one.  And another because I rejected their idyllic plan. If they had their way by now I’d be married to some unlucky girl from a powerful family.  We’d live in luxurious despair, despising each other as I waited to take my father’s place in the Magisterium. I declined the honor and thus it’s best I’m far from home.  Less of an embarrassment that way, you see?”

“I take it by your tone there’s a lot left to be desired by Tevinter?”  He sort of shrugs and tilts his head left and right.

“I care for my homeland a great deal.  There’s so much potential. Sadly, they squander it.  We refuse to acknowledge how far we’ve fallen because pretending is easier.  We pretend the Qunari can be beaten. We pretend we’re superior to everyone, even our own people.  Not everyone feels that way. I don’t. Sadly, we’re the minority.” _Man, is he preaching to the choir right now._

“Sounds like a lot of good and bad, huh?”  The Tevinter nods a couple times, seemingly pleased by my agreement.

“For all our faults, my people have many virtues.  We are laden with history and culture. Tevinter is where Thedas truly began, remem-”  But then he cuts himself off, waving his hands in the air. “Right, right, you wouldn’t know, would you?  Either way, we treasure our past and preserve it. You could walk down a side street and find nothing built during the modern ages.  And, despite appearances, we care. Deeply, about everything. We have no reserve, not in war and not in love. If I truly believed my homeland was beyond all hope, I wouldn’t miss it so much.”  I can tell by his tone he truly does love his home. Makes me feel a pang for what I left. But I brush that aside. _I can’t afford to dwell on that much anymore._

“I’m sure if you went back you could make a lot of positive changes, Dorian.”  This only makes him give a laugh in shock.

“Well, thank you, but I’m not exactly… welcome back home.  Not that it matters, I’m quite accustomed to being a pariah.  It adds to my charm. I can do more for Tevinter here. If the Venatori succeed, it will set my homeland back a thousand years.  I’m sure some Magisters would disagree, but that’s why they kill them.”

 

The more he talks, the more I remember Tevinter is parallel to either Rome or the Byzantine Empire.  But from the little bits I’ve heard, I only know it’s focused on magic and magical bloodlines. _Maybe if I get more info from him I could figure it out?_

“Mind if I ask you some stuff about Tevinter?”  I can see him almost roll his eyes, but he refrains from doing so.

“Ah, yes.  Everyone outside the Imperium always seems quite fascinated by it.  Probably why they come up with so many ridiculous tales. Flying cows over Mithathos.”  He laughs to himself. “It’s madness!” Now he pauses and frowns briefly.

“Alright, that one’s actually true, but the cows didn’t have wings.  I digress. Anyway! Anything in particular you wanted to know?” _Huh.  Where should I start?_

“I’ve heard a lot of rumors that Tevinter uses blood magic?  Is that true?” Dorian doesn’t seem surprised by the question.

“Oh, not at all.  At least that’s what any Magister would tell you.  They’d be convincingly offended by the notion, too.  Of course, what people call blood magic here and what we consider blood magic are two different things.”

“What’s the distinction?”

“You see, blood magic isn’t inherently dangerous.  Using your own blood or that of a willing participant, what’s the harm?  The problem is, that what’s permitted only gets you so much power. And what if you need more?  You always need more. That’s where we get into sacrifices and demon summoning. None of that is done.  Not officially. Behind closed doors, it’s a different story. Real blood magic can give you an edge, a leg up against your opponents.  It’s safe to assume that any mage of rank does it, the rest are quietly shut out of power, to put it bluntly.” Once my eyes are done almost popping out my head at how casual he speaks about it, I have to sort of laugh.

“Almost sounds like regular politics to me.  There have got to be people in the Imperium who oppose it, right?”

“Of course, I do.  And I’m not alone. Occasionally there’ll be a Magister who makes noise and then the reform talk begins.  Very patriotic. Meanwhile, that Magister will be quietly shunned and chances are, surprise! It turns out he was a melificar all along.  Most learn to keep quiet. Me?” He chuckles now to himself. “I enjoy the allure of pariah-hood.” _Almost sounds like the gun control debate loop…_

“So what’s the Magisterium anyway?”

“The upper house of the Imperial Senate and the only part worth having a seat on.  Those seats are split among the Circles of Magi, the Chantry, and the major families.  All mages now.” He laughs as he starts the next sentence, now beginning to talk a lot more with his hands.  “It’s odd that outside the Imperium they use ‘Magister’ like it applies to every Tevinter mage.” I nod along with his explanations.

“I know you aren’t a Magister, do you have a title yourself?”  Dorian now flips part of his hair dramatically.

“I’m an Altus, which is almost as good as being a Magister, depending on who you ask.  It means upper class. Those families that trace their descent from the dreamers, the first prophets of the Old Gods.  If you're a mage and you’re not Altus, then you’re Leta. Lower class. If you’re not a mage at all you’re a Soparati, that’s everyone else.  We do love our fancy words.” I snap my fingers as it starts to click into place.

“Oh, so you’re like a patrician then!”

 

Now it’s Dorian’s turn to start asking questions.

“I’m sorry?  What do you mean?”  Now I get to start monologuing about stuff.

“See, where I’m from, in the past there were a couple empires that seem similar to Tevinter.  In the Roman Empire, the upper classes were dubbed the Patrician class. The lower classes were called Plebeians.  With your history, culture, and language, I think there’s a parallel between the two. For instance, if I say: Veni, Vidi, Vici, does that mean anything to you?”

“‘I came, I saw, I conquered.’  A phrase used when our empire stretched across the Waking Sea.  I’m surprised you’re familiar with it, not many Southerners I’ve met barely even know a word of Tevene.”

“Where I come from, that was a phrase spoken by a famous general.  Out of curiosity, do you follow the Southern Chantry or are you different?”

“We split from the Andrastian Chantry many, many years ago.  We’ve our own Chantry and Divine, who happens to be a man instead of a woman.”   _Ooooh, he’s from the Byzantine Empire!_

“Oh, ok!  So like the Great Schism!  I got it! Modern Tevinter is parallel to the Byzantine Empire, while I guess Ancient Tevinter is similar to the Roman Empire.”  I see the gears working in his head as he starts nodding enthusiastically.

“So both our world’s have parallels?  What exactly are these Byzantine and Roman empires?”

I swallow so I don’t start coughing while I try and babble what little Roman history I know off the top of my head.

“Okay, the Roman Empire popped up in the Italian peninsula before the common era.  I know it started off as a series of tribes and such that eventually created the city of Rome.  Or was it a kingdom? I fell asleep in that part of class. Anyway, it eventually becomes a republic, with a senate and all the patricians are senators.  The people eventually get a voice in the form of the tribunes. After a few hundred or so years of this, Rome becomes an Empire all because one hotshot was power hungry.  This line of Emperors continues until Rome crumbles due to food shortages and raids by the Visigoths. Meanwhile, on the other side of the Mediterranean, one Emperor, Constantine, decided to move the capital to the east.  When Rome fell, the eastern Rome flourished with art and culture, lots of mosaics. The Romans were pagan, but by the time of Byzantium, they were monotheistic. After a long while, Rome rises as the Roman Catholic Church, and Byzantine is considered the Christian Orthodox Church.  They bicker for a long time about which Pope is in charge until they break up.” This whole time Dorian has been nodding along with my explanations. After a few seconds of silence, Dorian’s face takes on a confused look.

“You talk as though these events happened long ago for you?”  I start nodding again.

“Yeah, it is.  If I remember right, the fall of the Roman Empire is considered to have happened sometime in the 1400’s?  So let’s see, fourteen, fifteen, sixteen,” I start counting off decades on my fingers, trying to figure out how long it’s been.  I’m so bad with dates… “...twenty-one. So it’s about eight hundred years in my past, but I’m probably off by a bit, so that’s a generous guess.”  

 

I can see the shock on Dorian’s face clear as day.  His face starts changing rapidly from excitement to confusion.  Yet just as he’s about to say something, we both get interrupted by a certain scout.

“‘Scuse me?  Ma’am? Sir?”  We both turn towards the voice.  Behind me stands a man in the Inquisition scout armor.  He’s got blonde eyebrows and a scruff around his face. _I know that guy.  He’s the guy who interrupts Cullen on the battlements.  Scout Jim._  “My lady Herald, Lady Montilyet requests to meet you in her office as soon as you are able.”  I sigh and grumble to myself. If I had it my way, I’d keep talking with Dorian. But I guess I’ll have to do that later…

“Sure, Jim.  I’ll be on my way.”  The scout looks shocked and stands mute for a good ten seconds.

“H-How did you know my name?”  He asks in a confused voice.

“Err… Lucky guess?”  He seems to buy it and addresses Dorian.

“Sir, Mother Giselle would like to request your aid in healing a contingent of our men that recently arrived from the Storm Coast.”  Dorian actually looks a little annoyed at the request but doesn’t say anything that would suggest it.

“Jim, I’m an Altus, not a doctor.  My expertise may not be in healing magic, but I shall do what I can.”  The scout bows gratefully to us and walks off. As I see Dorian start to leave to wherever the medical bay is, I stop him.   _He’s been affected by Alexius’ mishap as much as I have.  He was making sure I was okay the whole time I kept freaking out.  I should at least see how he’s doing._

 

“So, I’ve seen Alexius in the cells.  Have you gone to speak to him at all?”  His face grows serious as Dorian looks to the side.

“Not yet, no.”  He says in a quiet tone.  “I saw him before they locked him up.  He looked… despondent. Broken. Not the man I remember, nor the man I want to.  I suppose the Inquisition will judge him eventually?” He pauses briefly, almost like he’s less talking to me and more thinking aloud.

“I wonder if there’s any chance they’ll show him mercy?  He hardly deserves it, but for Felix’s sake… I can’t help hoping there’s something of the man I once knew.”

“Look, I know it might not be much, but I’ll see if there’s anything I can do to make sure he gets a second chance.”  For a split second, Dorian looks touched.

“You would do that for a man who tried to kill you?”

 

“Yeah,”  I say, my mind briefly flashing to an image of Solas but I shake it off.  That was Fen'Harel, not Solas.  That man was desperate and mad after years and years of fighting.  That was a man I hadn't gotten to know well.  Maybe, just maybe, if I spend more time with Solas I can try and change his mind.  “Yeah, I would.”


	26. Vivienne

The second I enter Josephine's office, I see both her and Madame de Fer engaged in conversation.  Josie looks up when I enter.

“Ah, Catherine, it is good to see you.  Please, shut the door. I have something to discuss with you.”  I close the door behind me and the room feels almost quiet. _I don’t like this.  Why is Viv here?_  I feel a sense of dread creeping up my spine as Josephine summons me closer.  “I am glad you all returned to us unharmed and secured the mage’s alliance…” She then pauses as she sits up straighter.   _Uh oh.  Uh oh. Uh oh…_

“-However Cassandra has informed us of the way you spoke to Magister Alexius, Arl Teagan of Redcliffe and King Alistair of Ferelden.” _Cass sold me out?!  Aw man, I’m in trouble aren’t I?!_  Now Josie sighs as she tents her hands.  “I am not angry with you, just disappointed.”   _That’s even worse!!!_

“I am aware in your world you were not noble, as the Herald of Andraste many people look up to you.  You also represent the Inquisition in the field and we do not want to damage our relations with the ruling body of Ferelden, whose nation we currently are stationed in.  Therefore, it is impertinent that you learn etiquette and the ways of court so we won’t have a repeat of these events. Lady Vivienne has kindly agreed to teach you in place of finding you a governess or tutor.”  At this mention, Vivienne almost seems to be smirking, at least in her eyes. I can’t bring myself to say anything. My eyes just keep darting between the two women as my face just sits there blankly.

“Uh… Do I have to?”  Vivienne now steps toward me.

“Absolutely.”   _Crap.  I’m going to die._  “Lady Montilyet, if you would be so kind, I would like to begin immediately.”  Josie gives Viv a deep nod.

“Of course, First Enchanter.  By your leave. And Catherine, please do listen to her advice.  This is for your benefit.”

 

 _No Josie don’t let her take me!  Save me! She’s going to make me go to tea parties and wear corsets and powder and address everyone as my better!  I’m going to have to learn French and sip tea with my pinkie out! I don't wanna go! I don’t wanna go!_  But instead, I obediently follow Vivienne’s clicking heels as we walk out of Josie’s office.  The second we’re outside her door, Vivienne starts circling around me like a carrion bird. The second I start to avoid her gaze, she stops abruptly in front of me and places the top of her hand under my chin, lifting my head up.

“You are not some elven servant, you shall hold your head up high as you walk.  You are the Herald of Andraste and shall demand the respect worthy of your station.”

“But-”

“And stand up straight.  A lady does not slouch so.  It makes you look even shorter than you are, my dear.” _I think I’m going to start hating that phrase._  “You must meet the eyes of whoever you are speaking to.  To avoid doing this is either submitting to their power wordlessly or submitting a challenge.  Your opponents cannot be allowed to think you are doing either.”

Now I’m doing my best to not fall into my habit of looking at my feet while I walk, trying my best to hold my head up and look at Vivienne as we walk to her usual haunt.

“When addressing a King, you must address him as your Majesty.  It does not matter what your politics are wherever you are from, here in Thedas power falls into the hands of Lords and Ladies.  To disrespect them brazenly would snuff out you and the Inquisition before the Breach is even sealed. Do you understand?” She now asks, her tone very reminiscent of a stern professor.  I’m almost afraid to speak to her.

“Y-Yes.”  Her eyebrows only rise slowly.

“You shall address me as ‘Lady Vivienne’ or ‘First Enchanter.’  ‘Ma’am’ is also acceptable.

“Yes, ma’am.  I understand.”  She now gives me a very pleased smile.

“Excellent.  Try not to sound so intimidated, my dear.  There are many would take advantage of that.”  Now she turns around to her desk and held out a thick book.  “We are going to work on your balance and walk. Place this on your head and walk the length of the Chantry without letting it fall.  You must take small and even steps without losing pace with me. Come.”

 _This is utterly ridiculous._  I grumble internally as I place the book on my head and start to follow Vivienne to the War Room’s door.

“You have never been to court or the Circle, yet for these disadvantages, you are growing more skilled in our ways.  In no time you will be able to hold your own, but you must be diligent in you want to survive. In my experience, nothing is more deadly to a young mage than a lack of knowledge.”  I would’ve nodded, but keeping a book of this weight on my head is harder than I thought.

“Yes’m.”

“So tell me, now that you’ve allied with the mages, what do you think will happen if the circles are not restored?  Do you imagine the Dalish taking us all under their wing?” _Ah, she’s multitasking.  This is stuff she’s said in her first conversation at Haven.  I guess we’re walking and talking then? West Wing made this look so much cooler…_

“I honestly am not that familiar with either-”  The book slips to the left but I manage to straighten it.  “-but wars hurt everyone. We need to stop this fighting as soon as we can.”  I can see the First Enchanter nod with a smile out of the corner of my eye.

“If only the rebel’s you’ve recruited saw things so clearly.  Please do not stick your tongue out so. It is unbecoming of a Prophet.”  The face I was making stops. We’ve reached the War Room door now, and Vivienne quickly spins on her heel mid-step and we start walking back again.  “Justinia’s death has shattered the power balance in Thedas. If it is not restored quickly, countless lives will be lost.” She continues where she left off.

 

“Mages, Templars, innocent people of all kinds now look to the Inquisition to decide their fate.  We must make you worthy of their respect and of the Inquisition’s mantle for peace.” Is that why she joined?  So she could have a say in her own fate?

“And I guess you joined so you could have a say in that fate?”  She gives a short nod to Mother Giselle as we pass, who also nods back deeply to both of us.

“Wouldn’t you?”  Vivienne asks me.  “For almost a thousand years, the world believed it was in the hands of the Maker.  Now many believe you are the agent of His will. Whatever the truth is, that belief gives you power.”

“In all honesty,”  I say as she leads me back to the alcove.  “I don’t think anyone should have that kind of power.  It’s too corruptible.” I can see a flicker of approval in her eyes, but it’s hard to tell by this dim candlelight.

“I know of many who would agree with you, my dear.”  The First Enchanter says as she takes the book off my head.  My neck instantly feels better. “But I believe you have done well on such short notice today.  There were some slip-ups, but nothing I cannot fix. I’ve stolen enough of your time, my dear. Don’t let me keep you.   You may run along now.”

* * *

 

I find Dorian finished with Mother Giselle, sitting in the Tavern.  I’m quite surprised that he’s got a gaggle of the companions listening to him as he talks about something  I can’t hear from this distance. Sera and Varric are across from him, Varric writing as usual, and Sera listening intently.  Cassandra sits next to Dorian and across from Varric, listening just as much as Sera. I can see the reflection of light off Solas’ eyes as his gaze fixed on me briefly before turning back to whatever the topic is.  Bull is at the head of the table and very hard to miss, his horns creating quite the silhouette in the firelight behind him. Just watching all of them from the distance I feel like I’m in the high school cafeteria again.  I start to feel some anxiety start to bubble up when Dorian notices me standing there and waves me over.

“Ah, Catherine!  Get over here, would you?  I was just about to start talking about our time-travel escapades.”

“Indeed.”  Cassandra fills in as Sera quickly starts waving her hands and pointing to her left at the end of the bench.  “Neither of you have said anything about what you saw. I imagine anything would be helpful to the Inquisition.”  I can’t help but glance briefly at Solas, wondering if Dorian’s even going to cover that part. I imagine the Dread Wolf would probably panic that we technically know his alter-ego.

“Oh, I dunno…”  I shrug as Sera pulls me beside her.  “All I did was throw us off a cliff at the end.  Dorian did all the hard work.” Suddenly there’s a chorus of spit takes and gasps.

“You did what?”  Sera asks as she whirls at me, not even trying to hide her grin.

“Dots, are you nuts?”  The Iron Bull gives a low whistle in response.

“Dang…”  Is all he says.

“Well, it’s not like we had much choice…”  Dorian starts to say. Quickly I meet his eyes and start glancing at Solas and him as I make a scared face.  Luckily, he seems to catch my meaning and nods in response. _Oh no, we’re going there right off the bat…  I pray he knows what he’s doing…_   He points over Cassandra’s head to the elf.  “You were trying to kill us.”

 

At that second, all eyes are on the bald elf, who looks like a deer caught in the headlights.

“I… What?”  Is all he can stammer out as he squints in disbelief.

“Yes,”  Dorian goes on.  “You seemed to have gone mad and wanted Catherine’s mark for something.  You tricked us into going along with whatever your nefarious plan was. Damn near killed us.”  Now he meets my eyes, I guess wanted me to start talking. As I’m watching the gears turn in Solas’ head, I remember I was able to convince him and Varric I didn’t know their plans at the War Table.   _Maybe I can do it again?_

“I think I have an explanation for why that happened.  Time travel is super complex. The spell was originally supposed to take the two of us only one year in the future.  Instead, we got sent ten. I think it’s my presence that changed things up. Just by my being here, some things have changed subtly, like remarks people make or the fact I’ve been declared a demon as well as a heretic.  A butterfly flaps its wings in Val Royeaux and in Nevara you get rain instead of sunshine. I tried to talk Alexius down and that altered his spell. Because I started talking, we changed the plot and landed in a universe where Solas went crazy.  Kind of like if you let a drop of water roll down your hand. The droplets go a different way every time because of tiny follicles and skin imperfections, etc. That’s unpredictability.” _And now I’m by myself, eh, talking to myself.  That’s, that’s chaos theory._  Thankfully, everyone seems to buy it and Solas looks much less scared.

“I see…”  Is all he says.  Now that the attention is drawn to me, Cassandra starts asking questions.

“So, aside from what happened with Solas, what occurred that let this… ‘Elder One’ take control?”  Dorian waves his hands like it’s no big deal.

“Well, he started summoning anyone he could from another universe like our friend here, creating himself an unstoppable army.”  Now Cass looks shocked and turns to me.

“Are we in danger?”  I shake my head a couple times.

“I don’t think so.  It was Alexius’ doing and since he’s in our custody, Cor- the Elder One can’t gain that much of an upper hand.  Oh, also he assassinates the Empress of Orlais.” _I think that’s an important plot point._  Cassandra nods deeply as she thinks.

“I see, then.  I shall need to inform the others of this before we discuss what to do further.”  Now she rises, the bench creaking a little. “Tomorrow I shall schedule a war meeting.  I shall be counting on your advice, Herald.” As she nods at me, she turns to Dorian.

“Thank you.  Your information has been most helpful.”  I wonder what he was telling them earlier?  With that done, Cassandra leaves the tavern, the door shutting behind her.  Now Dorian turns back to me, this time with a question instead of narration.

“Do you mind if I ask you about what you said earlier- about your history?”  At that mention, Solas’ head shoots up from his mug like we just started talking about the Fade.  I slump my head on my fist.

“Sure, why not?  I don’t mind.” Now the Tevinter mage starts talking rapidly.

“So if your eight hundred years in the future, how long is your world’s history?  And if both are parallel perhaps our histories are similar if not the same? Could your history be used to predict the future of Thedas?  Help us discover more of our past?”

“Slow down, Sparkler,”  Varric says as he scribbles something down.  “I can’t write that fast.” Now I can only frown to myself.   _What do I tell him?  What does he believe?  The Chantry already wants my head, and Bull seems to be listening intently, so the Qun would definitely take an interest in me.  And he asked how long, does he want EVERYTHING or just when human civilization started? Can I really just start talking openly about evolution and science?_

“Where would you want me to start?”  He gives a snort as if it isn’t obvious.

“At the beginning, naturally?”  Hmm… Maybe if I ask them I can tailor it to not getting myself killed.

“One question first, for all of you.  How do you think the world came into being?”  Dorian is the first to speak.

“The Maker created the world after he created the Fade.”   _Okay, one down for creationism._  I start moving clockwise around me.

“Solas, what do you think?”  He looks pensive as he finishes his drink.

“I make no claims to know how we came to be.  I am open to a multitude of possibilities.” _I guess that makes him agnostic, then._  Varric just shrugs as he looks up from his quill.

“I have no idea.  Don’t really think about it much.”   _I’ll put him down as neutral._  Sera just points upward.

“Maker did it.”  When I get to Bull, I can see no change in his facial expression.  Ever since Dorian started talking about our future trip, he’s grown a little too quiet for my liking.  I have no doubt he’s filing everything away to stick in his reports.

“It is what it is, right?”  He says slowly. “The world exists, so do we.  All there is to it.” _Is that what he thinks?  What the Qun says? Is he making it up?  I guess at this rate, I might as well just tell it like I was taught in school.  If they don’t believe me, they don’t believe me._

 

“The universe came into being with an event we call ‘The Big Bang’.  As its name implies, it was a large explosion of heat and energy that created some basic elements and molecules.  After millions and millions of years, they come together and create more elements, and eventually rocks. Those get pushed together by gravity and force and later on, you get planets.  That’s how the Earth was formed. For a very long time, it was a hot ball of lava, until a gas was formed that eventually released water in the form of rain…”

 

It takes me a few minutes to get through the basics of evolution, the dinosaurs, homo erectus to homo sapiens, all the way to ancient cultures, and finally to modern times.  The look on Dorian’s face is worth it. Just like when I talked about Rome and Byzantium, he’s clearly thinking a lot. He sometimes nods along with more familiar information, or widens his eyes at the stranger, like Tiktaalik is the common ancestor of vertebrates.  Solas, meanwhile, keeps his face much more the same throughout. I guess since he’s seen Disney World and a snippet of my country's history, perhaps this isn’t as shocking for him? He nods along deeply as I talk, flickers of interest in his eyes. Bull, on the other hand, is incredibly suspicious the whole time, that one eye focused on me.  Varric has the same expression of shock as when I showed him my phone. Sera has the most cartoonish expression, her shock clear as day. When I finally finish, everyone is quiet for a while.

 

“What in the name of Andraste’s bloody knicker weasels did you just say?!”  Sera spouts as she stares at me with wide eyes. I take in a deep breath and start re-explaining.

“Big explosion makes a bunch of planets.  Mine is a flaming rock. Water makes land and oceans.  Tiny, itty bitty creatures become bigger and make sunlight into food.  Then fish happens. Fish gets legs to eat surface plants. Fish becomes lizard.  Lizard gets bigger and diversifies. Lizard becomes Dinosaurs. They die off. Tiny feathered dinos become birds.  Mammals are kings now. Those get bigger. Monkey people start walking and using fire, they get bigger brains. That’s where I come in.  After years and years, less like monkeys, more like people. People get together, make towns, culture. Fight each other over water and food.  A bunch of stuff happens. History.” Now Iron Bull leans forward, his steely gaze pretty frightening in this dim tavern.

“Ah, Boss, I don’t mean any disrespect, but...  You got proof of this?” Thankfully I had my phone out while I was monologuing.  The battery is at 20%, but I still have time. I turn off the Wi-fi in order to still use Google and search for an image of Lucy’s skeleton and start showing the image to everyone.  Sera just frowns at it. The rest of the companions show interest in the skeleton.

“Lucy here is what’s called an ‘Australopithecus’.  She’s my common ancestor. The skeleton was discovered in Africa in the 70’s.  That’s how we know what my species is descended from. Through carbon dating, we can determine the age of the bones, and with the help of computers we can reconstruct what Lucy might have looked like when she was alive.”  After the Qunari takes a few long looks, he starts nodding.

“Huh… I’ll be damned.”

 

Now Varric pipes up with a question.

“So you know all this stuff off the top of your head?  Everything you just mentioned?” I now show the skeleton to Dorian and Solas, who both light up as Solas starts flipping through Google images of the creature.  I nod to Varric a few times with a shrug.

“Eh, more or less.  Most of the early stuff I learned in High School.  I took an Anthropology class in College, and I watch documentaries in my spare time.  I’m pretty good at retaining information, pretty useful since that’s all my tests in school are.  Can I regurgitate this stuff? I might not be good at math, but dinosaurs were always up my alley.”

“How on earth did your people find these creatures?”  Solas says with reverence after handing me back my phone.  

“By digging.  Bones get buried and eventually turn into fossils.  That’s what Lucy and dinosaur specimens are: Fossilized bone.  It’s really neat.” Now Varric raises an eyebrow.

“So the kid who freaks out at corpses is into bones?”

“Hey, these are millions of years old!  Corpses are days old. There’s a difference.  Besides… they’re not exactly people, so my brain doesn’t freak out as much.  Don’t you guys have dinosaurs or something?” Everyone just shakes their heads.   _I figured as much…_  “Man, you guys are lame…”

“What’s a dinosaur, again?”  Bull asks. Opening google again, I pull up some images of a Tyrannosaurus.

“Like, super big dragons without wings or fire breath.  They range from super huge to really small. This one here’s a Theropod, meaning it walked on two legs.  Rexy here is a carnivore. He’s got huge teeth the size of bananas and could have run up to thirty miles an hour.  I read about a study that instead of roaring like a dragon, a T. Rex just made low-frequency growls. I listened to a re-creation once.  Super scary, but way cool.” I see Bull’s face light up from his suspicious look to very enthusiastic.

“Ataashi…”  He barely whispers with a grin.  I’ve seen that cutscene on the internet.  I know what he’s saying.

“No!  No! Dinosaur.  Not dragon. Die-no-soar.” _Don’t misname my boys like that._  My phone gets handed back by Bull, who’s still smirking.

“Pretty damn cool either way, Boss.” I turn the phone off.   _I have so little battery left I might as well be holding a useless brick._  “Well, this has all been fun, but I think I should check on the boys.”  The horned giant says as he rises to leave.

“You should show me more about those lizards.”  He says as he passes me. “Pretty damn cool.”

_I have to agree with him on that one.  Velociraptors are rad as heck._

 


	27. Reading Into Things

“Do the voice again!  The broody guy!” Sera says while slapping the table.  Varric and the Red Jenny now sit across from each other, Sera critiquing his book while he attempted to weasel information out of her.  Needless to say, it didn’t work.

After Dorian and Solas left to do research and Iron Bull left to check on Krem and the Chargers, the only ones left were Varric, Sera, and I. _Who knows where Blackwall is, I haven't seen him today._  When Sera would only give snarky remarks or just snort at the dwarf’s questions,  Varric came up with an idea.

“Hey, since you’re good at impersonating the Seeker, want to give someone else a try?” He asked while sliding the ‘Tales of the Champion’ towards me.  He flips to a page near the end, to a dialogue between Fenris and Anders. I leave out the fact I spent a lot of my time in middle and high school recording myself talking and turning it into audio dramas or audiobooks.  Or sometimes just me reading character dialogue. While I was okay with Alistair’s voice, I was awful at Zevran. Fenris, on the other hand, his inflection came naturally to me. Somehow. After some pestering from the elf and the dwarf, I start reading from the top of the page.

 

“‘By now you must see what an injustice the Templars are.’  says the mage, feathers flying from his robes as we trek our way through the Storm Coast.

‘Must I?’ Fenris replies, annoyance in his tone.  ‘I see templars trying to control what they have good reason to fear.’

‘But they go too far.’

‘Talk to Lachdanan about his mother.  Ask him who went ‘too far’. The mage is outraged by this, his eyes starting to glow blue.  Hawke and I have stopped, watching the argument unfold. Hawke’s none too happy at where this might end up.

‘You can’t hold all mages responsible for that!’  Says Blondie as he throws his arms up.

‘It doesn’t take all mages to cause this.  Only the weak ones.’

‘Not all mages are weak.’

‘True,’ says Fenris as he walks on, trying to end the topic of discussion.  ‘Bethany, for instance, is not weak.’ Anders seems annoyed instead of hurt at the jab.

‘You specifically don’t mention me.’

‘That is also true.’

‘I’ll prove to you that I’m not weak!’

‘Prove it to yourself.’  Fenris snorts as he approaches Hawke’s side.  ‘You’re convincing no one else.’”

 

I stop there, as the chapter ends.  Both Sera and Varric look really intrigued.

“Brah…”  Sera says, having started to adopt my slang.  “That was wicked, yeah? How come you’re so good talking?”  I shrug and clear my throat.

“Practice?”  Varric nods along.

“I mean, your Ander’s wasn’t bad, but…  your Fenris was spot on. Almost perfect.  Hard to believe you picked up on his speech pattern from reading a book.”  I nod along, pretending that luck is the reason. It’s not because I liked Gideon Emery’s voice so much that I romanced Fenris specifically to hear him talk more.

“Do the voice again!  The broody guy!” Sera demands.  I turn to Varric.

“You okay with another go?”  He laughs and leans back in his chair.

“All yours, Dots.”  I flip to the chapter index where I find the chapter I’m looking for.  It’s Fenris’ requirement quest, titled ‘Bait and Switch’. _I guess the quest titles in Dragon Age II show themselves in this world as chapters in Varric’s book._

 

“‘I take it these men were looking for you?’  Hawke asks as the elf with strange markings descends the steps to us, stepping over the bodies.

‘Correct.  My name is Fenris.  These men were Imperial bounty hunters seeking to recover a magister’s lost property.  Namely myself. They were trying to lure me out into the open. Crude as their methods were, I could not face them alone.  Thankfully, Anso chose wisely.’”

Reading this out loud, I dig into my memories of playing the game.  Fenris’ voice is almost etched into my mind and I’m able to easily tug at it to bring it from my lips.  The scene plays out vividly in my mind, almost like I was there. I can remember almost every line, every inflection, his face, his armor, the marks.  The more I read, the more I tap into Fenris’ mindset.

“‘If they were trying to recapture you,’ Hawke says, stepping closer to the man.  ‘Then I’m happy to have helped.’ The elf looks a little surprised, his dark eyebrows going up for a moment.  

‘I have met few in my travels who have sought anything more than personal gain.  If I may ask, what was in the chest? The one they kept in the house?’

‘It was empty.’  Fenris seems disappointed, but only marginally so.

‘I suppose it was too much to hope for.  Even so, I had to know.’ While he bends down to check the body of the Slaver Leader, Hawke asks,

‘Were you expecting something else?’

‘I was, but I shouldn’t have.  It was bait, nothing more.’ He pulls a scrap of paper from a pocket and scowls, almost growing in anger.  ‘It’s as I thought. My former master accompanied them into the city. I know you have questions, but I must confront him before he flees.  I will need your help-’”

 

But I trail off when my eyes come up to look at Sera and Varric’s expressions.  Where they were once amused, now they look like they’ve been electrocuted.

“What’s wrong?”  I ask, still in Fenris’ voice.  I brush a strand of hair from my eyes.   _I swear I need to get my bangs cut._

“Y- Y...You-!”  Sera starts sputtering like a car.  Even Varric, who claims nothing can phase him, has nearly fallen from his chair.  His eyes are wide and his jaw is slack. After a long, hard look he quickly takes the book and closes it, standing up.

“Follow me… Dots.”  Confused, I nod and stand up, but almost fall over.   _My legs feel wobbly and my body feels strange.  Something’s different. Something off. My clothes feel like they’ve gotten heavier.  My boots seem to have gotten worn on the soles. I can feel my blood moving through my body, but it doesn’t feel like my pulse._

“You- You alright?”  Sera asks, quickly standing and helping me straighten.

“Yes.  My leg must’ve fallen asleep.”  I tell her. _I must have really gotten into the reading because I’m still using Fenris’ inflections.  I seem to have gotten used to pitching my voice down again, I’m able to do it now without straining my voice._ Quickly. Varric and Sera lead me out of the Singing Maiden and into the night.

 

It’s cold out, I’m almost shivering the second we step onto the path.  The two of them are walking quickly and I’m able to keep pace with them.   _Are they just walking slowly?  Just what’s gotten into them?_  I wrap my hands around my shoulders to shiver, but then I stop suddenly.  My shoulders are very soft, almost like I’m wearing fur or something. When I squeeze my fingers, I only feel something sharp poking me.  I glance down at my hands, only to start to understand why Sera and Varric are confused.

 _That’s not my hands.  Not my boots. Not my armor.  Not me… not my body._  I now have steel gauntlets on my hands and forearms.  A diamond-shaped breastplate covers my now flat chest.   _I’m flat, yet I can breathe normally.  No bindings? I feel like a giant weight has come off my chest, come to think of it.  I’ve never felt better._  I glance down to look at my shoes to find myself wearing those stirrups I’ve seen the Dalish and Solas wear.   _Am I barefoot?  In the snow? I’m barefoot in the snow and don’t feel bothered?  Just what is this?_ _And am I taller all of a sudden?  Varric wasn’t that short and how can I be taller than Sera?_

I start rotating my hands, wondering if this is some kind of trick, but the gauntlets rotate as my wrists do.  Just then, I almost start to panic. There’s a glimpse of a white design on my upper arm. _That’s a tattoo.  That’s a lyrium tattoo.  That’s Fenris’ tattoo. I- I… I…_

“What is this?” I- or I as Fenris- ask quietly.  “What in the fuck?” Varric is the one who starts me walking again.

“Am I dead?”  Sera response to this question is to pinch the part of my upper arm not covered by the gauntlet or armor.  “Ow!” My hand reflexively closes. I can feel the points of the metal gauntlet on my hand. _This is real…  This is real._

“Oh!  You’re buff!”  She says.  “You’re good. Not dead.”

 

The three of us confused folk make it to Varric’s tent.  He holds up a finger and briefly ducks inside. When he comes out, he’s holding a small hand mirror.  When the dwarf hands it to me, I’m shaking so much I nearly drop it.

_That isn’t my face.  But I’m looking at it?  But that isn’t me. But it is?  But it..._

My eyes are already green, but these are a deeper shade.  The skin is much darker, the hair stark white. There are white tattoos that snake down my neck to my shoulders.  My once blonde eyebrows are now completely black. I’m wearing a very familiar piece of armor. There’s a large greatsword on my back that’s nearly my full height.  My ears are pointed. Whatever face I make, the reflection that isn't my own does so.

_I look like…  No… I somehow became... Fenris._

Wordlessly, I hand the mirror back to Varric.  Both of them watch me closely.

“Did either of you see how this,”  I twirl my gauntleted hands around.  “...happened?” Varric shakes his head slowly.

“No.  One second it was you, then the next I’m looking at Broody.  I mean, I knew the voice was spot on, but… I guess this explains it…”

“I mean, I’ve heard of them witches in the woods that turn into frogs!”  Sera starts speaking now, a lot less shaken than earlier. “But this ain’t a toad.  You’re… you’re a man? How?” I shrug and start to wildly pace.

“I don’t know how!  I’ve never had this happen!  I’ve heard of shapeshifters… but like you said, they can change into animals.  Not people.”

“You don’t think…”  Sera starts and then stops.  “This is magic? Are you doing magic?”  Now I come to a halt. _Could it be?_

“I… am not sure.  Possibly.” I mutter while now looking over myself.   _This is so strange.  I’m tall. I’m a man.  An elf. I’m my own boyfriend!_  Curiosity getting the better of me, I place a hand on the hilt of the greatsword and slowly begin to unsheath it.  The metal makes a metallic sound as I remove the blade and take it into my hands. I expected it to be a heavy blade, to immediately sink into the ground.  But no, I can hold it. It’s a little heavy, but nothing too bad. It almost feels like I’m used to this. Like something’s coming alive, some sort of hidden knowledge.  I sheath the blade, knowing better than to play with a sword in the dark.

 

Now Varric is stroking his chin as a thought occurs to him.

“Say, you mind trying something for me, Bro- err, Dots?”  I nod at the dwarf, who now is much shorter than I.

“What is it, Varric?”  The dwarf quickly places the mirror into its box and closes the latch.

“I’ve seen Fenris do more than just rip out people’s hearts.  He can use that lyrium trick to phase through walls and stuff.  Want to see if you’re more than just a mirage?”  
“You mean, try and use the tattoos?  On the mirror?” After Varric nods yes, I ask another question.  “Do you know how he does it?” The dwarf only shakes his head.

“Never said.  Maybe, you can figure it out?  Tap into it?” _Hmm… tap into it.  Tap into it._  

“Come on, give it a go.”  Sera encourages me.

 

I agree with their request and shut my eyes.  I try to breathe slowly, trying to focus. What I thought was my pulse now makes sense that it could be the tattoos.  When I calm myself, I can almost feel the lyrium run through my skin, instead of inside my like my blood. _I just have to… draw on it._  I slowly exhale and feel the pulse in my hand, focus on it, and open my eyes.  

My hand is now glowing a bright blue.   _No, not just my hand.  All of me, all of the tattoos._  I slowly keep my breath even as I extend my hand to the box Varric holds.  I didn’t really expect it to happen, but my fingers go through the wood. I almost hesitate and draw my hand back, but the touch of the mirror’s handle keeps me going.  I can almost see it in my mind’s eye, feel it as though it’s outside the box. I gently wrap my fingers around and start to pull back. When I’m done and start to ignore the pulsing, the glow dies down until I’m left in the dark, holding the mirror.

“Maker’s breath…”  Varric almost whispers in shock.  Sera is just as surprised, eyes wide.  “Do you know what you were doing when you changed?  Maybe how you did it?” I quietly look at my hand that just went into the box.

“I don’t know… I just, did it, you know?  I was just concentrating. And then I guess, this.  It just sort of happened.”

 

Now there’s a pause as I stare at the fire, getting lost in my thoughts.  It crackles and pops as embers move in the wind upwards towards the stars.

“Erm…”  Sera now says after a while.  “Maybe we outta tell somebody, yeah?”

* * *

 

The elf has spent the time since he was in the Tavern pouring over whatever books he had on history and anatomy.  He could find no trace of those creatures -that Lucy that Catherine spoke of. It could not be. Such a thing was preposterous.  He, an elf, his people descended from monkeys? No, it was too crude. He could not accept such a thing. Humans, perhaps. They were brutish and crass.  They aren’t as graceful or lithe. Perhaps that was more logical. But honestly, monkeys? Fish with legs? Dinosaurs? Evolution? It all made his head swim.  Parts of it he could stomach, such as the slow rise of different cultures or empires. But the idea all life started from a speck in a pool? Solas usually does not wish to be bothered past dusk, so the knock on his door comes as a surprise.  When he creeks open the door, he finds Varric and Sera on either side of Catherine. All three look confused and shaken.

“Howdy, Chuckles.”  The dwarf says in greeting.  Sera and Catherine remain silent.

“Hello.”  He nods politely.  “Is there something I can do for you?”

“Show ‘im the thing!”  Sera says, elbowing Catherine a few times in quick succession.   _The thing?  What are they talking about?_  “Can you do more than just the guy?”  Catherine shrugs and makes a face.

“I- I dunno!  I could try, I guess?”  Now Catherine draws in a breath and shuts her eyes tight.

“Just what is this-”  But Solas is cut off by what he sees.  In the blink of an eye, where a human girl once stood is now an elf.  It is clear by the green armor and distinctive markings on her face she is Dalish.  Her hair is a dark black and short, tied into separate strands. She has a mage’s staff on her back and wears the clothing of a scout.  Her legs are covered in a protective chainmail, leaving her feet bare. Now the woman- he assumes it is still Catherine- opens her eyes and starts to examine herself.

“Ha!  Ha ha!”  She starts laughing as she twirls and does a little hop.  “I did it! I did it!” Her voice has changed. Now she speaks in a light, feminine tone, the accent one he has heard from those of the Free Marches.  She’s grinning like an excited child. Solas can only stand and stare at what he’s just seen. True, he has heard of shapeshifters. It is an old magic, known by few in this era.  But the only examples he’s run across is shifting into various animals. And this practice takes years to study and master, much less a mage with no ability turning into… other people.  Now she waves at Solas, clearly overcome by excitement.

“Aneth ara, Hahren!”  She grins as she puts her hands on her hips, clearly proud of herself.  Had he a drink, he might have spit it out in shock. He never expected Catherine to ever say a word of Elvish, much less a greeting or complete sentence. _Or address him as her elder._  She seems to notice his shock and her posture becomes much smaller and meeker.

“Sorry, was that wrong?  I swear I said the words right…”  He shakes his head quickly, now fully stepping out of his cabin and shutting the door.

“Ma ane lin’sila shem.” The speech comes from him naturally, though it leaves all three of them confused.  Solas does not bother to translate. Sera makes a face at the language.

“Did you have to be all ‘elfy’?”  She frowns at the new elf beside her.  Catherine only shrugs with an apologetic grin.

“She was the first person who came to mind!  You said to be someone different. Do you think turning into Anders would’ve been better?”

“No!  No!” Varric quickly protests.  “I definitely prefer Daisy over him.”  Now Sera starts to head to the tavern.

“Well, I helped, yeah?  I need a drink. Or three.  This is freaky!” And the younger elf saunters off before anyone can say otherwise.  Now the dwarf turns to the both of them.

“Think you can help out our friend here, Chuckles?  Magic isn’t really my area.” He asks, pointing at the still Dalish mage.  She has begun to feel the tips of her Elven ears. She makes a face as she does so, disappointed.

“Aw…”  She mutters.  “I thought they would be squishier.”  Hiding the smile that might’ve crossed his face, he gives Varric a nod.

“Of course.”  At his word, Master Tethras gives him a pleased salute and follows Sera’s footsteps.   

 

Now that they are alone, he steps closer to the young Herald.

“How long have you had this ability?”  She stops poking the Vallaslin on her cheek.   _It’s almost like she’s turned into a toddler._

“An hour or so.”  The older elf tries to blink back his surprise.   _That short a time?_

“Do you know how you are able to do this?” She makes a face as she thinks, scrunching her nose upward and frowning as she bites the inside of her cheek.  “You ought to break that habit, da’len.” If her surprise is from the endearment, she does not comment on it. Catherine quickly stops; stands rigid and startled.

“Sorry, sorry! It’s just… Well, I don't know how I did it.  Or maybe I do? I was just concentrating really hard on getting his voice right, and then poof! I'm a man! I mean, I was.  Not now anyway.” The former human gives a laugh. “Sorry, I'm rambling. Maybe I'm getting into character? This is all… all different.”  Solas gives a nod in thought as he begins to circle her, examining.

“Have you seen anything like this before, Solas?  I've heard of Shapeshifters like Flemeth, but this isn't that, I don't think?” Solas shakes his head no at the first question.

“I admit, I have only seen spirits in the Fade with this ability, never a mortal,”  Solas remembers riding to Val Royeaux and how she impersonated Cassandra. Catherine had mentioned in her past she was an actress while in school.   _Perhaps that had something to do with it?_  “You said you were an actress before, correct?  Perhaps this is an extension of your abilities?”  Now she frowns to herself as she taps her foot rapidly in the snow.  Solas has stopped circling her like a vulture at this point, now standing by his cabin once again.

“I did do a little acting, but it’s been awhile.  But why didn’t this happen as soon as I got here? If I’ve always been a mage, shouldn’t I have turned into Cass that one time?”  He nods in understanding.

“Mages do not immediately perform spells from birth.  Their mana grows along with them. Some are able to perform spells at a young age, some need more time until adolescence.  Perhaps you just longer to acclimate to your new surroundings.” Now she’s noticed the head of her staff on her back and keeps trying to twist her neck around to look, reminiscent of a dog chasing its tail.  “What sort of techniques did you use when you would perform?”

Catherine stops spinning and scratches her head while frowning.

“I dunno, exactly.  I’m not like Daniel-Day Lewis where I spend all my free time preparing and absorbing myself in the role.  It’s more like, ‘Oh, we’re starting?’ Poof! I’m my character and in their mindset. ‘We’re done?’ Poof. I’m me again.  I can’t really describe it… I just did it. Doesn’t explain the magic, though.”

“Perhaps you’ve always had the gift of magic and it cannot flourish in your world?  You have said there is no Veil or Fade, therefore there is nothing to hold you back, yet nothing for you to draw on.  You could be the only one of your people to have ever become their true selves. You could become quite powerful if you put your mind to it.  Perhaps even rival whatever force brought you to us?” She actually snorts at that and makes a face that’s a mixture between an eye roll and perplexity.  The elven woman she has become folds her arms and stands with her weight on her left leg.

“Are you being grim and fatalistic just to make fun of me, Solas?”  She muses, a laugh betraying the sarcastic tone she was aiming for.

Solas’ mind is drawn back to when they met.  He at first had judged her by her height and appearance, thinking her to be young.  The more he banters with her like this, he can see he misjudged her. When she first arrived, she was scared and meek.  Now after allying with the Mages, she’s quickly coming into her own. Now she’s not afraid to meet Cassandra in the eyes or talk back to the Commander.  She isn’t that young, just lacking in self-confidence. The more he gets to know her, the better he can peel back her layers. She might not be used to their world, but judging by what she talked about at the Tavern, she must have been quite smart wherever she came from.  His mind idly wonders how things could have gone had she been summoned to Arlathan. They might have got along quite well when he was young and brash. He can’t help but let a small part of his younger self comes forth.

“I am being grim and fatalistic.  Getting you to laugh is just an enjoyable side benefit.”

 

He’s not surprised when she looks at him with wide eyes and a blush on her face.  If Varric’s teasing her on the road was any indication, Catherine simply reacts poorly to compliments and teasing.  Now her eyes dart around, looking anywhere but his own.

I-... wha-... eh?”  In a second, the elven woman is gone and the Herald is in her original form.  “Awww! Now I’m short again!” She whines out loud as she gives him a look of annoyance.

“You’re awful, Solas.”  He cannot help but laugh.  Perhaps he ought not to tease her, but this idea of discovering a new form of magic has him giddy.  The Dread Wolf cannot help himself.

“It would seem your emotional state affects your form.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ma ane lin’sila shem=You are a quick learner.


	28. Blackwall

I trudge behind Cassandra into the War Room, trying my best to cover my yawn with my hand.  Apparently, the Seeker wanted to get things done ASAP which includes banging on my door for me to get ready way earlier than Solas normally does.  I am not a morning person. I am a night owl. My brain does not start to function until after ten am. Five bucks says I’ll fall asleep on the table once Cullen starts talking.

 

“We will need to prepare for the Herald to close the Breach with the mages.”  Leliana begins as soon as the door is shut. “As proven, Catherine knows of what shall come to pass, however when the Breach is closed, the edge we have shall lessen.  We must prepare for any outcome, good or ill.” _Right, I lied and said I only know major outcomes of quests after this.  But maybe after what I saw in the dark future, it might as well be true. One little thing like trying to appeal to Alexius completely changed everything.  Who knows what other ways I might affect this world? All the Grey Wardens die? The monarchy of Orlais gets replaced with a different form of government? I suppose my mess up in Redcliffe proves I need to stay on track as much as I can._

“Is there anything you are able to tell us?”  Cassandra is the one to ask. Now all three woman look expectantly at me.  Cullen just frowns deeply as he stares at the map, not bothering to look at me. _At least he’s being quiet today._

“Well…”  I falter, not knowing what to say.   _I could continue the lie and say I have no idea, but I do.  Corphy destroys Haven with an army of Red Templars. As everyone celebrates our success, the buildings get caught on fire.  So many people and civilians could die if I don’t rescue them, and whenever I played the game, they did. I’d always panic and not know where to go, too many enemies swarming me, and I lost.  I think my first playthrough I only managed to save Flissa, an elven servant, Maryden and Harriet if I remember right. If I say anything, maybe the attack will come faster and even more, people could die because we’re unprepared.  But maybe… Maybe I could get everyone before we seal the Breach? And warn them so our soldiers are prepared to fight? Could I save more lives that way? Should I even bother trying?_

“Yes- wait I mean, no, I can’t…”   _Urgh!  I don’t know what to do!  If I go off course I could mess it all up and then it’s all my fault and they’ll just hate me.  No one would like me if I sent all those people to their deaths. I’d have to leave the Inquisition or run around avoiding everyone.  No, stop panicking you, idiot! You don’t know that!_

 _No, I know what I should do.  Maybe I’ll mess everything up and be unprepared, maybe I’ll lose control, but it saves even a few civilians, I’ve got to.  If we go now, we have a chance._  “You know what,”

“Fuck it!”  I burst out, alarming Josie at the curse.  “Yeah, yeah I do know. I might screw us over but whatever.  This is important. After we seal the Breach, Haven will be attacked.”

“Attacked?”  Cullen says, his head jerking up to look at me.  His voice holds a twinge of distrust, but he doesn't say anything about it.  “By whom?”

“The one who created the Breach and who Alexius was taking orders from.  The Elder One will attack Haven when everyone is celebrating and blindsides us.  If I let that happen, so many civilians and soldiers will needlessly die in the chaos.  If we’re prepared for battle before we go to seal the Breach, we can buy time for a full evac and get everyone safely out of here.”

“A full evacuation of Haven?  Are you certain about that?” I nod to Josie, trying not to bite my cheek or lip in thought.

“Yeah.  If I didn’t say anything and I couldn’t get to people in time, I’d be kicking myself for the rest of time that I didn’t do anything when I could.  With what happened at Redcliffe, I’m a little hesitant about actively changing course, but… If I can save even one person then I think it’s the right thing to do.”  As Josie nods in agreement, Leliana now speaks up.

“But if you alter the course,”  I can’t hear any dissent in her voice when she starts to disagree.  It almost reminds me of Spock giving counsel to Kirk, more going through all the logical outcomes before coming to a decision sort of thing.  “-you may drastically change things for us. Are you prepared for the consequence?”

“Yes.  Like I said, if we can save innocent lives then I think we should do it.  It may bite us later, but we’ll deal with it.”

“Then whatever you need, I shall do what I can.”  Okay, I got two out of four, not bad. I turn to Cass, who seems to have been running through it in her head.

“What do you think, Cassandra?”

“I agree with Leliana on the matter.  We should put the lives on the innocent first.”

 

Now the only one who’s been quiet is Cullen.  Normally, this is the point where he’d slam the table, be grumpy about me being a mage or something I said, grumble about it, and then somebody snaps at him.  This time, he’s being remarkably silent. Is this a good thing?

“...I am not sure what to make of this.”  He finally says. “While saving people should be our priority if it there’s a chance it would change things, make them worse…”   _Wait… Maybe I can level with him?  Put into a context he’d agree with?  But I failed to talk down Alexius and Fen’Harel.  Should I even try?_

“Look, Cullen, just think for a sec.  You remember at Kirkwall, when the Chantry exploded?”  Now he looks a little startled, briefly looking like he got electrocuted.

“Y-Yes…”  He replies gruffly.  “What of it?”

“If you knew about it before it happened, wouldn’t you do all that you could to get people out of there?  The Grand Cleric? All those Templars? Any civilians caught up in the crossfire?” Cullen grows silent again, all of us watching him, waiting for him to disagree.  After frowning to himself, Cullen then stands straight and nods at me.

“I will prepare the soldiers to help with the evacuations and to stand against the Elder One’s forces.”   _I can’t help but smile at him.  It feels like we’re finally getting somewhere._

“Good, that’s great.  Thank you.” Now Josie turns to Leliana, her quill ready and dipped in ink.

“How long should we give the townsfolk to prepare for this?  When should we give word?”

“We should tell them immediately.  Give them a few days, at least three, to pack their things and get us ready to leave.”

“But-”  Cassandra cuts in.  “-where do we go?”

 

Now they all turn to me again, expectant I have an answer.

“Ask the Chancellor.  He knows about a side path that’s usually only available in the summer.  He might not cooperate at first, but I think the prospect of saving everyone’s lives should turn him around.  I’m not sure where it leads to, all I know is it’s in the Frostbacks. It’s like, a little valley or something?  That’s at least a place to regroup before we figure out where to go.” Leliana nods.

“That will have to do.  When Haven is evacuated, we shall go to seal the Breach.  Catherine, do you have any thoughts on how to do this?”

“The mages will need to help, but I think we should give some the chance to evacuate with the people, same with our soldiers.  Maybe some people have children here and want to protect them, maybe they want to make it out so they can see their families. I think in this kind of situation, it’s best to give them the option.”  Now Cullen pipes up with his usual interjection.

“And what if we’re left with a small number of mages or soldiers to protect us?  What then?”

“Then we work with what we have,”  Cullen grumbles but says nothing further.  Now Josie has finished writing.

“Very well then.  We all have our tasks, it is imperative we start as soon as we can.  Let us dismiss.”

* * *

 

Now that the adults are left with the preparations, I have a little free time before I address the inner circle about the battle and evacuation.   _In the game, whoever you choose goes with you, but I want to give them all the option of choice.  Whoever wants to fight with me is allowed. If they want to leave, then they can leave with the civilians.  Of course, I’m going to have to fight myself, aren’t I? Something much different than the little scraps I’ve been in.  But I have some abilities now. And if I was able to use Fenris’ lyrium marks, could I do other things as different characters?  Can I actually hold my own in a fight now?_

After just getting lost in my thoughts, I find myself on the path in front of the smithy.  Blackwall stands alongside the wall, staring at the Breach in the distance.

“Maker, look at it.  So much easier to ignore when it’s so far away.”  Obviously, he heard my footsteps over the sounds of the smithy.  The warrior turns to me, turning his private remark into a conversation.  “And to actually walk out of it, to be that close…” The only thing I can do to his speculation is a shrug.

“I honestly don’t remember any of it.  The first thing I remember is waking up here in Haven.  I was lucky the Inquisition soldiers found me when they did.”   _I have to wonder just why in the heck I ended up here?  Am I just in a coma? I died and this is what my brain came up with?  Did I lose my mind? Fell through a wormhole?_  Blackwall seems a little surprised by my answer, but I have to go by his voice to tell.  With his thick beard and eyebrows, I can only pick up minor details in his eyes. The rest of obscured to me.

“Inquisition soldiers?  That’s not what I’ve heard.  The Breach, the Divine’s death, the Wardens… it doesn’t make sense.  There’s so much we don’t know.”

“Hopefully your experience as a Warden will help get some answers.”  He gives a couple stern nods at that. I imagine he doesn’t like detailed Warden topics because he doesn’t know much, does he?

“Mostly the treaties, I expect.  Old parchments you’re welcome to.  What about you? How do you fit into all of this?”

  
_How do I fit into all of this?  Am I just an interloper who happened to be in the wrong place at the right time?  Was I summoned here by someone? Corphy? Flemeth? Just dumb luck or a crazy coinkydink?_

“I really just want to do what I can to help restore peace.  I’m the only one who can close the rifts. I can’t just turn my back on all these people.”   _Even if I could go home now, I doubt I would.  At this rate, I’ve got obligations to everyone. They all look up to me.  They rely on me. I imagine if I left things would go upside down._  The Warden seems impressed by my response.

“A worthy goal, one I’m happy to support.  For me, I’ll be satisfied as long as we find the bastards that killed the Divine.  They owe us some answers.” Now he turns and starts walking to the cabin next to the smithy.  Not having much to do, I start to tag along at his heels.

“Say, can I ask you about the Grey Wardens, Blackwall?”

“Ah, the Wardens?  I’m afraid we’re less exciting than we seem.”  For a guy who sweats when you pry, he doesn’t seem bothered by my wanting to ask questions.   _Granted, I’m not sure why I’m asking since I know more than him._

“So what do you guys do when there’s no Blight?  I can’t imagine just sitting around for hundreds of years waiting for another one.”  He shakes his head.

“There are still Darkspawn.  Just because we killed so many in Ferelden doesn’t mean they’re gone.  With no Archdemon, they wander and attack at random. Amaranthine was a special case, or so I’ve heard.”   _He knows about Amaranthine?  With the talking Darkspawn? But he said ‘so I’ve heard’ so he probably doesn’t know much details then.  Did he hear it through the grapevine?_  “And the world is not so peaceful that there’s no use for good men with swords.  Sometimes you have to figure out for yourself what the pledge to protect others really means.  It’s not always about Archdemons and Blights.” _Okay, time to grill him._

“So where were you during the Fifth Blight?”  Blackwall doesn’t falter at this and answers normally.

“I was in Ferelden, on my own like always.  Quietly killed my fair share of darkspawn, too.”

“Did you ever bump into the Hero of Ferelden at all?”  Now I see a subtle flash of shock in his eyes. After a brief pause, I guess I only pick up on it cause I know he’s lying, he speaks.

“Erm, well, with all the Wardens killed at Ostagar and the bounty for them, I had to keep a low profile.  I just stuck to small towns and villages helping where I could. I never heard much of the Hero until the Landsmeet, and by then I was too far off to make it there in time.”   _Liar, liar, beard on fire!_   _You never heard much even though basically everyone knew there was a bounty for Wardens and even the King knew about my movements all around Ferelden?  Nice save, buddy. Probably should’ve said he was in Orlais, though. That’s where the rest of them were._

“I see.  So have you always been on your own?”  The man quickly relaxes again.

“It’s what I’ve always done.  Recruitment only requires one man.  Besides, I’ve always been a bit of a loner.  Works best for everyone that way.” _Hearing him say that kind of hurts.  I know he doesn’t think highly of himself for what he did.  Poor guy._

“Oh... don’t you get lonely by yourself?”  

“Well, I’m used to it, lass.  Doesn’t bother me much anymore.”  Blackwall halfway mumbles in reply.  After using some awkward silence as a segue, I switch topics.   _At least he’s not calling me ‘your worship’ or ‘milady’.  I hate ‘milady’._

 

“...So do you have any idea where the other Wardens are?”

“You find that odd?  The Blight is over. We don’t need an organized force and orders don’t change much from day to day.  For the last thousand years or so it’s been: Find Darkspawn, kill them, repeat as necessary.”

“Hmm, okay then.”  I don’t really like that answer but I can’t question him further without him getting suspicious.  “Mind if I ask you some personal stuff?” The beardy man kind-of laughs, more in a self-deprecating way I imagine.

“Compared to yours, my life will seem dull indeed.”  I dunno, my life so far has been going to school and taking classes.  A soldier's life would at least have some variety to it.

“So, where’re ya from?”  He takes my casual slang in stride.

“I was from the Free Marches, originally.  Markham. That was a long time ago. Another life.”   _Heheh, yeah, another life indeed._

“What did you do before your joined the order?”

“I was… a soldier, a nobody trained to wield a sword and follow orders.”   _Ooh, careful Blackwall, another pause like that and somebody might catch on._  “I grew weary of fighting other men’s wars.”

“And then you got recruited?”  Black wall shrugs as he leans against the cabin behind him.

“More or less.   Becoming a Grey Warden… it was the first time I felt like I mattered.  The life I lead before seemed hollow in comparison. Perhaps one day it will fade away.”   _You can run but you can’t erase your past.  Guilt is a thing, you know._

“So what made you want to join?”

“Because they remember honor and sacrifice, words that have little meaning to the rest of us.  Because they lay down their lives for those they have sworn to protect. We all need to believe there are such men in the world.  I needed to believe I could become one of them.”

  
_Yeah, that’s a nice way of looking at it.  When I played my Tabris, Fenrir, I tried to find peaceful or good  solutions to the quests. Destroy the Anvil of the Void because turning people into Golems is a power easily abused.  Broker peace between Zathrian and the Lady so he can learn to forgive and end the Werewolves suffering. Heal the Arl even though I dislike him.  Don’t taint Andraste’s ashes because that doesn’t seem smart. Don’t slaughter the Circle Mages._

“‘In war, victory.  In peace, vigilance.  In death, sacrifice.’”  Now Blackwall is genuinely surprised.  He looks at me curiously for a few moments.   _Oops, I think I just goofed._

“You know the motto, lass?”

“Uhh… I read it in a book?” _I mean, if subtitles count as reading._  “Thought it sounded cool.  The idea of an order willing to protect people even if they get forgotten.  The Warden’s are always there no matter what. Kind of hope the Inquisition could be like that, that we don’t always have to fight and can be here when people need us.”

“Well said, lass.”   _Yes!  More approval!  This is good!_

“Speaking of the Inquisition, now that you’ve joined us, what’cha think?”  Now he strokes his beard for a bit, muttering a little while he thinks up an answer.

“I honestly expected more… More men, better equipment.  You may have Andraste’s favour, but wars are won by men.  Soldiers.” I frown to myself. _I’ve never really liked wars.  It’s just… awful. Of course, the only ‘real’ war I’ve lived during is the war on terror.  The ones more like what the Inquisition is going through is more like a Crusade or the Hundred Years War or something._

“If only there was no need for soldiers in the first place.”  Blackwall gives a quiet and understanding laugh.

“True enough.  Still, it never hurts to be prepared.  One thing I will say about your men: They’re passionate.  Devoted. Your compassion and modesty inspires them. Build on that foundation, and you’ll have an army that makes nations tremble.” _I really don’t like that idea.  That’s kind of like what the Envy demon wanted.  I don’t want to be some scourge of nations or be on the same level as Emperors and Kings.  I just want to close the Breach, kick some Darkspawn butt, and then stop Solas. Maybe take a few naps in between.  Eat some cake. Go for a walk. Get a puppy._  “What’s the matter?”  Blackwall asks after he notices my silence.

“I guess I don’t like the idea of being as powerful as other nations.  Nobody should have that power. That kind of weight could corrupt us and make everything worse.”  At that, the Grey Warden puts a reassuring hand on my shoulder.

“As long as you remember when to stay your hand, you’ll survive.”  And just as quickly as he squeezed, he removes his hand.

“Anyway, how’s Haven for you?”  At this question, Blackwall just shrugs again.  I suppose a guy who’s used to running around pretending to be a Grey Warden, he’d be used to roughing it.

“It’s a war camp that was once a pilgrim's refuge.  It’s the state of the world though, isn’t it? Holy ground turned into a battlefield.  Pity about the Temple. Would’ve been nice to see it.”

“Yeah, I’ve only heard about it.”   _Not exactly, I discovered it.  I saw it. It was a long dungeon filled with ice caverns, cultits, dragon hatchlings, more cultists, a giant dragon, and then the finale of ‘The Last Crusade’._  “Sounds like it was awe inspiring.  How do you feel about the Inquisition’s goal?”  
“Restoring order is a goal I support wholeheartedly.  But that’s not the end of it, is it? Not by a half. The Lady Seeker believes we are restoring the Chantry.  Others say it needs reform. I don’t know where you stand on the matter, being an outsider in all this, and I’ll admit I haven’t made up my mind either-”

Suddenly, he peers over my head to something behind us.  I can hear a familiar cackle as a pair of footsteps runs through the snow.  “Sera, what are you doing?” I turn around to see Sera, stopped briefly, and just snickers.

“Nofin!”  She calls out before glancing behind her.  Another pair of footsteps grows closer and she takes off.

“SERRAAA!”  It’s Dorian, booking his way past us to follow the elf.  Once I see what Sera’s done, both Blackwall and I start snickering.  Sera somehow replaced Dorian’s armor with plaidweave. It’s bright yellow and black.  He almost looks like a bumblebee as he streaks past us. Once he’s past my line of sight, I turn back to the older man, sticking my thumb in the direction the two booked it.

“Guess I gotta go do damage control or somethin.”  I give him a wave as I start to leave. “Thanks for talking, Blackwall.  I appreciate it!” He gives a stoic nod and wave in return.

“Always here, lass.”


	29. The Iron Bull

“Hey, Boss, come over here!”  As I’m walking down the roar back to the gates, Bull flags me over.  He stands in front of a tent. Kerm sits off to the left, polishing his armor.  _I keep forgetting just how tall he is.  Bull is at least two of me stacked on top of each other.  And the horns just add to it.  Dude could easily squish me._   “You’ve gotta tell me more about those Dinosaurs.” Now the Qunari starts to talk to his lieutenant.

“Krem, you gotta see this, they’re fucking…! Just!” _Clearly, Bull likes dinosaurs._  I pull my phone out of my pocket and hold down the power button.

“Alright, gimmie a sec.”

“Oh man, what’d you get into now?”  Krem asks as he glances at Iron Bull’s grin.  Once my phone is operational, I google some other dinosaur pictures and hold the phone up for Krem.  I guess he’s heard the rumors I come from another world because he doesn’t really freak out at the phone.  Makes a face, but doesn’t panic. After glancing at the dinosaur he nods slightly.

“Huh… can’t say I’ve ever seen a lizard that big before.  Just how’d your people survive that thing?” He asks me as he goes back to his task.  I only shrug as I put the phone away.

“They’ve been dead a long while.  Weren’t even around when my people showed up.”  The Tevinter seems to buy this explanation.

“That explains it then.”

“So are they giant lizards or what?”  Bull asks with the same sort of excitement and reverence he has when seeing a dragon.  Thankfully all my extra studying in college and high school paid off. Seeing the pictures and explain the history of earth reminded me of a lot of stuff I had buried in the back of my head.

“Yes and no.  The ones that walked on four legs like an Apatosaurus or Stegosaurus.  I think it was their hip structure that’s similar to lizards. It’s called...oh shoot, what was it?  Sauropods! And then other guys with two legs and a tail to balance, like Rexy, are Theropods. Those are my favorite.”   _I love those little floofy murder guys!_  The Qunari nods along eagerly.  Kind of surprising, since he found my evolution hard to believe at first.  But I guess dinosaurs are an exception for him.

“So you got any more of those guys besides that… T. Rex?”  I nod eagerly, my excitement bubbling up.

“Sure!  There are other dinosaurs in the same family, called Tyrannosauridae, like Albertosaurus or Gorgosaurus.  Super huge dudes with a ton of teeth the size of bananas and ridges like steak knives!”

“Damn, no kidding.”

“Personally, I like Raptors the best.  They sort of have the same body types, theropod anyway.  Slightly longer arms. A whole lot smaller. Some the size of a modern raven, like Microraptor, or the size of a turkey like Velociraptor.  But, like, the Dakotaraptor is so cool cause it’s big enough that I could ride it! That’d be so cool!” _God, I love raptors!  I love my tiny, feathered, turkeys!_

“Personally I’d like to see one of those big ones take on a dragon.  Now that’d be great!” Krem just snorts.

“Of course you would.”  Bull only raises an eyebrow but doesn’t say anything at the remark.

“So what’d these things sound like?”  I sort of shrug as I pull out my phone again.

“Don’t really know, since muscle and flesh aren’t preserved like bone.  I have some ideas from some movies if you’d like to hear ‘em.” _Thank god I’m weird and saved this as a ringtone._  Bull quickly agrees.

“Yes!”

I got into settings and find the sound-byte.  I play the sound of the Tyrannosaurus from Jurassic Park.  Bull’s one eye lights up upon hearing it. Kerm looks a little startled but starts packing up his gear after noticing Bull’s enthusiasm.

“Holy shit.”  Bull starts a booming laugh.  “Damn! Now that’s powerful.”

“I know, it’s so cool!” _Never really thought I’d befriend Bull talking about dinosaurs.  In my first playthrough, he was one of the last people, besides Solas, who I was able to befriend.  Took a long time too._

“Right,”  Krem says as he stands.  “-as interesting as this is, I think I’ll leave you two to your fun.  Chief. Your Worship.” He nods to me and salutes Bull before turning around and probably heading for the tavern.  Now that Bull and I stand alone, for the most part, he switches topics.

 

“So… that Tevinter guy sent you into the future?  Errg…” He makes a sound that’s a mixture of a grunt and a shudder.

“I mean, normal magic seems pretty weird, but that guy had problems.”

“I know right?”  He agrees. “The ‘Vints are always pushing.  Anyway, I hope our new friends have what it takes to close the Breach.  Damn thing gives me a headache just looking at it.” He mutters, tossing his chin in the direction of the Breach overhead. _Come to think of it, I don’t know much about the Qunari.  I know what Sten says about the Attam and such. The Arishok wasn’t much help in Kirkwall.  Maybe Bull can fill in some gaps._

“Say, can I ask you some questions about the Qunari and the Ben-Hassrath?”  He looks a little suspicious.

“You writing a book?”  His tone indicates he doesn’t sound pleased.

“There’s no Qunari where I come from.  I want to know more. And what I’ve heard around here is… limited?”  He frowns a little to himself.

“What you’ve heard is mostly horseshit.  Alright, what do you wanna know?” _Bingo, I’m in!_

“So what kind of work did you do for the Ben-Hassrath?”

“Ben-Hassrath is actually a general term.  You’ve got the secret police who investigate problems inside our territory.  You’ve got the re-educators who take people with problems and… ‘fix’ their minds.  Or make them disappear. And then you’ve got the spies.” _I don’t like the way he said fix.  Or the disappear part. No wonder a lot of people are scared of the Qunari._

“Doesn’t sound like you fit those descriptions, though.”  The man before me just shrugs and adjusts his eyepatch.

“Yeah, I was a special case.  They sent me to Seheron because they needed someone who could fight and hunt down problems.  That whole island was a sack of cats. Incursions from Tevinter, Tal-Vashoth, and native rebels fighting both sides.  And in the middle, me, trying to wrangle the rebels and restore order.” _Huh, come to think of it I only know about Seheron because of what Fenris talked about.  From what I gathered, it reminded me of Cyprus and how Greece and Turkey fought over the island.  Is Seheron like that?_

 

“Does not sound easy.”  Now Bull only shakes his head, his horns casting a long shadow on the ground.

“Nope.”  He says, popping the ‘p’.  “I hunted down a lot of rebels.  Lost a lot of friends to the Vints.  Or the Fog Warriors or the Tal-Vashoth.  One day I woke up and couldn’t think of a damned reason to keep doing my job.  Turned myself in to the re-educators.” _Whoa… he willingly submitting to getting a… medieval lobotomy?_

“Dang, man.  Even after what they do to prisoners?”  Bull acts like it’s no big deal.

“I wanted them to fix me like they fixed them.  The Ben-Hassrath ordered me to go to Orlais, ostensibly as a Tal-Vashoth, work undercover.  That’s how I ended up here.” I can’t really think of much to say after that.

“Dang.  Some story.”  There’s a brief awkward silence before I remember another question.  “So, what’s ‘Qunari’ mean anyway?”

“It’s for both the Qun and our race.  Kinda. The humans and elves who follow the Qun are known as the Viddathari.  The Qunari who break away from the Qun are Tal-Vashoth. Deserters.” He growls the word like it’s venom.   _He really, really doesn’t like the Tal-Vashoth.  Though I guess with what he saw, he has a reason._

“Is everyday life any different for Qunari?”  Again, he just shrugs his shoulders at the question, his stance shifting to something more casual.

“Depends on your job, I guess?  Some are just about the same. A baker in Val-Royeaux gets up, gets dressed, and starts work.  A baker in Par Vollen does the same thing. They don’t care about the Empire or the Qun. Mostly they worry about breaking eggs and hope the dough rises right.  Some Southerners might say we have no personal freedoms, but life isn’t about freedom. The baker in Par-Vollen wonders if she’ll be given enough eggs to do her work, will they come on time?  Same crap in Val-Royeaux. People are just people.” _Yeah, okay, that makes some sense.  I can see where he’s coming from._

“Oh, okay.  So what’s growing up under the Qun like?”

“The Tamassern’s raise us of the units of kids all our own age.  They’re like teachers or Chantry sisters.” _Now I’m picturing a Qunari lady with fluffy white hair in a chantry robe reading to a bunch of little kindergarten-aged kids with horns._  “They also help figure out what jobs we should do.  Had me pegged for military work early on. When they learned I could hit stuff and lie, they started training me for the Ben-Hassrath.”  He speaks of it with pride.

“Huh… Must’ve been a good day.”  He nods in agreement. Or pleased that I agree with him.

“Yes.  It’s like being a block of stone with a sculptor working on you.  One day, the last of the crap gets knocked off and you can see your real shape.  What you’re supposed to be. That’s a good day.” _I can see where some people would like that.  Almost like those aptitude tests I took in middle and high school.  Never did me much good though. All I’d get the first time was stuff like surgeon, dentist, or politician.  The next time I got stand-up comedian and elementary school teacher. In college, I kept getting baker, teacher, or lawyer.  I’m not really into any of those as a career. Maybe a stand-up artist. But I need to get better at improv._

 

“I admit, it’d take a lot of stress out of college.”  Now as Bull nods he’s observing me more closely. I guess taking notes on the strange outlier and trying to see if my culture is awful or not.

“So your people just let you run around trying to figure it out for yourself?”

“Well, depends.  Some people might not be able to afford an education so they’re stuck saving up or working what jobs they can.  Some people might get pressured into continuing the family business or trade. And sometimes it’s like me, completely confused and nowhere to go.  Like a chicken with my head cut off.” _I still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up.  I dunno if I ever will._  

“Yeah, a system like that wouldn’t fly under the Qun.”   _Hmm, makes me wonder just how their government works.  I know they’ve got the Arishok. But other than that, not much._

“So how do you guys govern, then?”

“It’s pretty simple.  We’ve got the matriarchy, the priesthood, and the military.  The priesthood figures out how the Qunari should live in theory and the matriarchy makes it work in practice.  And the military keeps the Qunari save from outside threats.” _Do the Qunari get married?  Come to think of it, I haven’t seen many qunari women.  If any at all._

“I guess that makes sense.  So if the Tamassrans raise you guys in gaggles, what about parents?  Do you guys have any marriage customs or something?” Now he just laughs at the suggestion.  I guess that means they don’t,

“Yeah, no, there’s no marriage.  Qunari love our friends like anyone does but we don’t have sex with them.”   _EW! Why would anyone have sex with their friends?!_  The only noise I can make in response is a little peep.

“Heh?”  Bull just keeps going like I hadn’t said anything.  Guy just shrugs and keeps talking.

“Eh, but there are Temassrans who pop your cork whenever you need it.”  I have to keep myself from making a face.

“Ehueuh?”  If the guy heard me, he says nothing.

“Seriously.  It’s not a big deal like it is here.  It’s like… I don’t know, going to see a healer.  Sometimes it’s this long...”

 

_Ew… Ew.  EW! I do not want to think about going to the Doctor for that!  ICK! No, that’s gross! Why are you even telling me? I didn’t really ask!  I got the point the first time! Someone make him stop. Someone make him stop.  Where the heck is Krem?!_

“-in and out in five minutes.  Thank you, see you next week.” I can only stare at Bull with a horrified face.  The Qunari just laughs at my reaction.

“And I guess your people don’t do that?”

“Nah.  At least, at least I don’t think so?”

“Still, it’s more fun here.  Fewer rituals, more making it up as you go along.”   _God, I wish I weren’t hearing this..._  “Plus, you folk have redheads.”  Now he chuckles lewdly. _Ew.  Someone get me outta here!_

“Redheads…”  I quickly blink the snow out of my eyes and start making a beeline for the gate.

“Welp, on that note, I think I gotta…”   _Iron my dog?  Wash my face?_  “-go do... something.”   _Nailed it!_

“I’ll see you later, Bull.”  The Ben-Hassrath says nothing about my excuse and nods.

“See ya around, Boss.”


	30. Let's Get Down to Business!

All of Haven has been notified of the evacuation.  The advisors decided to give everyone four days to pack their belongings and load them onto any spare carts we have.  The morning I go to seal the Breach, everyone will be divided into groups and will leave for the mountains. Thankfully, after much convincing on Josephine's part plus a threat or two from Leliana, Chancellor Roderick agreed to give directions to the summer path.

Solas, meanwhile, has become quite interested in my new abilities.  At the crack of dawn, the elf practically dragged me outside to run some tests of some sort.  Because I was able to somehow replicate Fenris’ markings, he thinks I should be able to replicate magic if I were to turn into a mage.  And Solas apparently teaches at the School of Hard Knocks because, after the explanation, he immediately readies his staff and starts chucking fireballs left and right to see what I’ll do.  My initial reactions are mostly ducking about, yelling at him, and diving into the snow, but once I calm down a little I try turning into Merrill again.

 

 _But of course, I’m unable to do any magic whatsoever.  Trying whipping around the staff on my back? Just me swinging a stick.  Try to summon a fireball? Just an elven girl making faces as she stares at her hands.  No sparks for electricity. No snowflakes for Winter’s Grasp._ And no matter how many times Solas describes how the Veil should feel, how I need to pull at the Fade, use my will, I get zip.  Either from inspiration or frustration, I start trying other forms of mages I’m familiar with. Instead of Dragon Age, I try a generic mage from Skyrim.

Nothing happens.

My hero from Fable II?

Still nothing.

An even more obscure one, Quara from Neverwinter Nights.  Nothing. Zip. Nada. _I can’t even cast Magic Missile._  I kick the snow in frustration and cross my arms.

“This isn’t working, Solas!”  Quara’s voice almost sounds foreign in my ear.   _I’d only gotten to the city once and just recruited her, but I stopped playing soon after.  I really wish I’d finished that game…_  The elf before me has stopped with the rain of fire and only smiles at my annoyance.

“If you are to face whoever created the Breach soon, you must be ready.  You cannot simply quit out of frustration.” I only grumble again.

“But it seems like my magic is a dud!  I can’t do much of anything!”

“Bending the Fade to one's will is not an easy task.  You can only learn with practice. Come, we shall start again.”   _Urrgh!  This makes no sense!  I don’t feel any different!  No invisible force field! No spirits on the other side!  No green energy waiting for me… This sucks! How do I bend it to my will?!_  Solas now readies his staff in hand, gearing to begin again.  And all it’s going to be is me running back and forth praying my hair doesn’t get set on fire.

 _Pfft!  Bend the fade to my will.  I can’t even bend a plastic spoon!  I’m not going to be bending much of anything at this rate.  ‘Bend the fade’ he says. ‘It’s simple’ he says! How about you go bend your stick?!  Bend… wait! Bend! That reminds me!_  Solas’ hands glow with a fire spell he’s about to launch.   _Bending!  Of course!  I could at least try…  What’s the opposite of fire?  Ice? Yeah, that could work. Just gotta focus, remember.  You grew up with it, it’ll be easy. Ebb and flow, like the tides.  Ying and Yang. Just breathe slow._

* * *

Dorian Pavus was not a morning person.  However, with the announcement of the evacuation only a few days away, he didn’t really have a say in the matter.  Not that he had much with him to begin with. Mostly he brought what essentials he needed plus whatever he could carry.  He’d come down to the training yard to ask the Commander where he was needed when the Inquisition marched to seal the Breach.  But when Commander Cullen was in a bad mood, he sought out the Seeker. But the woman told him that was not necessary. He’d be needed on the ground with the Herald when the time came.  

Not that he minded much.  He liked her well enough.

As he gazed up at the Breach, wondering how Catherine was going to seal it on her own, the sounds he heard behind him caught his attention.  As he walked past the line of trees down the rocky path, he saw Catherine and Solas in a clearing, doing some sort of exercise. _Ah, he’d heard the elf was mentoring her.  Not that it seemed to be working much. And if what Sera was muttering about in the tavern, it must be something to do with shapeshifting?_  Mostly the man was throwing fire to get her to defend herself.  He’d seen exercises like this in the Imperium when he was younger when the other children in the circle could only summon their magic when in danger.  Of course, he was a prodigy, he never needed to use this exercise. Catherine was not doing very well, he might add. Mostly just throwing herself out of the way as graceful as a fish on land.  But then she stops for a fraction of a second. He recognizes the inspiration in her posture, even from this distance. The girl calms herself and shuts her eyes, trying to steady her breathing.  And in a second, she’s not standing there anymore.

_Well, perhaps she still is.  But that isn’t her form. This is new magic…_  The Altus thinks to himself as he watches the display before him.  Catherine is much taller now, probably closer to Bull’s shoulder and the muscles make her seem much more imposing.  Her skin is as dark as his own, the hair a deep brown, tied at three places. One on her head in a ponytail and two others on either side of her head.  Her coat is a blue color with white fur trim at the shoulders and deep like the ocean he’d crossed to get here. The pants are baggy and a lighter blue than her coat.  The boots are as shapeless as any in Ferelden he’s seen so far.

All this has taken place in about one second.  Catherine has not yet opened her eyes. She only gracefully raises her arms from her side to be straight out.  As she does so, the snow in front of her seems to rise on its own, creating a wall in front of her. Her fingers flex out, causing the snow to harden into ice seemingly by her will alone.  Both he and Solas can only stare at what she’s done with shock. Dorian’s seen mages manipulate ice before and create walls, that much was not new. _How she did it was a mystery.  No staff, no hand raised and glowing blue.  He couldn’t even feel the Fade being manipulated, something that should’ve been obvious._

Meanwhile, Catherine peeks an eye open hesitantly like she’s expecting something else.  When it’s apparent to her she did whatever she was aiming for, her face breaks into a grin.

“YES!  YES YES!”  She starts shouting as she jumps up and down, pumping her arms in glee.  The voice is definitely not hers, but the actions and facial expressions are.  “Did you see that?!” She calls to Solas over the ice wall, who has moved closer to inspect the ice.

“Did you see what I did?!”  She’s stopped jumping now and furrows her brow in thought.  After tilting her head around, she bends down to pick up a few pebbles near her feet.  The Herald tosses them lightly in her hands, testing the weight. Her eyes narrow in focus as the pebbles slowly start to levitate in her hand.  She’s sticking her tongue out like a child as Solas starts tapping her ice wall on the other side. The elf seems just as perplexed as he is. _Just how did she do that and so quickly?  He hasn’t seen Catherine perform even a basic spell, much less one as advanced as an ice wall._  Meanwhile, said new mage has placed her other hand overtop her other hand and stares intently as the pebbles in-between start to spin around in a circle.  This must be what she intended to do because they quickly pick up speed as she grins and starts borderline cackling.

“This is so cool!”  Clearly not satisfied with just making some pebbles float, she quickly drops them, her tongue stuck out in concentration again.  Now she holds her stance like someone engaged in martial arts would, starting to slowly move her arms about, trying to do… something?  He can see snow flurry around her as she seems to be manipulating the wind. While Solas begins to walk around the wall to speak to her, he can see a small ball of wind form in her hands.  Concentrating, Catherine pays Solas no attention as she slowly begins to start making it bigger and bigger, expanding her arms out as she does. Once the ball’s a large size, she does a little hop and pushes the ball to the ground from her hands.  She moves like she’s seen this done numerous times before. _But how?  Her world had no magic that she’s spoken of.  How could she know what she’s doing?_

But she does, or sort of anyway, as once the ball hits the ground she manages to land on it with little wobbling.  She’s crouched on top of the airball on the balls of her feet. Her hands are clenched into fists and touching. Still sticking her tongue out, and clearly not expecting to get this far, she slowly leans forward as she wobbles a little.  Whatever she’s riding moves the direction she leans, and once she figures this out, immediately begins to rocket around the clearing on her newfound mount.

“YEEEEAAAAH!”  She whoops and hollers as she rides around in circles on the other side of the wall.  Now Solas sees the Altus watching the entire exchange. The elf catches his eye and includes his head toward the girl currently grinning like a maverick, and shrugs.  Dorian simply matches his confusion. It seems neither of them knows what to do. But the two of them are quickly forced to watch her more closely after she yells out: “Crap!  Too fast!”

And just a second afterward, Catherine slams face first into a nearby tree.  As she does so, there’s a loud “Bweh!” when she lands in the snow. Both the ice wall and airball have dissipated upon her impact.   _Truly, the Southern Chantry has been blessed with the messenger of the Maker’s will and the bearer of Andraste's message._  The girl, flat on her back, sticks an arm up along with her thumb, not even disoriented.

“I’m good!”  Now both he and the elven apostate bolt over to her.

“What on earth were you thinking?”  Solas admonishes her the second she hauls herself up and brushes the snow from her hair.  All she does is give him a sheepish grin and shrug.

“I’ve always wanted to do that!”

“Are you injured at all?”  Dorian asks, only getting a handwave in reply.

“Nah, I’m good, my dude.”   _She says that a lot._  Solas only grumbles to himself at this.

“You ought to contain yourself in the future.  Acting reckless-”

“Buuuuut **Moooom**!”  She sasses him and Dorian can see the tips of Solas’ ears start to go red.

“Oh, let her have a little fun.”  Dorian cuts off Solas’ lecture. He can see Catherine grin at his support.  Solas only turns to face him, not in a good mood.

“Do not encourage this behavior!  Unless you are familiar with whatever magic she’s using?”  The elf crosses his arms.

“It’s bending!”  Catherine loudly interjects the two of them.  As the two of them stare at her waiting for an explanation, she runs back into the center of the clearing and begins either explaining or a demonstration.

“Water.”  She says in a clear voice, as she gently moves her arms as she had before.  Now, instead of an ice wall, she bends the snow into water and moves to shoot it out, but it only lands back down with a ‘plop’.  Annoyed, but not deterred, she keeps moving on. “Earth.” Now she changes her stance, bending her knees and one arm behind her bent down at the elbow, the other bent up.  She kicks the ground hard while concentrating and manages to lift a small rock in front of her. She tries to kick it, but her form is off and it only goes a few feet away.  Nonetheless, this excites her and she goes on with more vigor.

“Fire.”  She says and almost seems at a loss.  She stops for a second, thinking, and starts throwing her fists out like she’s punching.  “Fire!” She says again, strongly. Nothing happens.

“Fire!!”  Now she’s trying to kick or punch but whatever she’s trying to do, it doesn't happen.  As she frowns, she turns to them. “I’ll get back to you on that one. Anyway, air.” Now he can see her start that airball again and Solas notices too.

“No, no you are not doing that again!”  She stops creating it, frowning at him like a child.

“Fine…”  She grumbles before moving on with her narration.  “Long ago, the four nations lived together in harmony, then, everything changed when the Fire Nation attacked.  Only the Avatar, master of all four elements, could stop them. But when the world needed him most, he vanished.  A hundred years passed and my brother and I discovered the new Avatar: an Airbender named Aang. And although his airbending skills are great, he has a lot to learn before he’s ready to save anyone.  But I believe Aang can save the world.”

* * *

 

Both of the two of them stare at me without a word.  After I finished the opening narration, I just stood there, waiting.   _Admittedly, I’m still shocked this worked out.  Or that I can even bend somewhat. Is it because of my familiarity with the character like with Fenris?  Just concentration? Suspension of disbelief? But if that’s the case, why can’t I do ‘regular’ magic? I mean, maybe I can bend because it’s more like martial arts and that makes more sense to me?  Magic just isn’t clicking for me at all._  Finally, Solas is the first to speak.

“And are you this,”  He rolls his hand as he thinks of the word.  “Avatar character you mentioned? Aang?” I shake my head at them, Korra’s hair swaying as I do.

“Sort of?  This is Korra, Aang’s reincarnation.  She’s the next Avatar.”

“Is this some sort of myth in your world?”  Now it’s Dorian’s turn to ask.

“Well- uhh, kinda?  It’s a TV show.” I can see the confusion on their faces clear as day.  The snow around us is nearly blinding in the morning light. Just as the two men start to speak, they’re cut off by another’s approach.

 

“So this is the display I’ve heard about?”  It’s Vivienne, no doubt just as curious as Dorian is.   _She must have come to watch too.  Just how many people are going to show up?  The entire inner circle? I don’t do well in front of crowds…_  The First Enchanter has a watchful eye as she surveys the three of us.  Solas now turns away from me to face Vivienne. He’s had a slightly sour look after I sassed him, but now it’s slightly more prominent upon her intrusion.   _I guess he’s more of a private lessons type of guy?_

“I am instructing the Herald to prepare her for when we seal the Breach.”  Vivienne keeps an even nod as she folds her hands neatly in front of her.

“I was not aware **you** were the one chosen to instruct her.”   _Ah, right.  I did conveniently leave that out when she asked me at the party._  Solas’ tone becomes much more biting towards her after this remark.

“The Herald requested it herself.”  Now Solas steps closer to Vivienne as they continue their little debate.  Dorian quickly sidesteps to my right to give them space. The two of us quietly watch the exchange unfold before us. _I’m praying they keep things civil and don’t get out of hand.  We’re already preparing for an evac and to seal the Breach. Things can’t fall apart now…_

“While I am sure Dalish magic has its uses,”  Vivienne begins. “I am unsure if this form of shifting is without its dangers.  Such a thing could draw demons to her like a beacon. If she were trained properly-”

“Properly?  If I recall correctly, First Enchanter, the Circle outlaws this school of magic.  How are more qualified to teach her with her new abilities?” Viv seems to take the jab in stride.

“Naturally the Herald should be trained in the way of the Circle.  Our Herald represents the Maker and the Chantry, it is only right she follows its customs.”   _But why is no one asking me what I think?_

“You think you are a suitable teacher for her?” _I’m right here you two!_

“Of course.”

“In that case, shall we settle this on the field?”

“I thought you would never ask, darling”  The two of them move to opposite sides of the clearing, their staves in hand.  There’s no reason to continue as Korra for now, so it’s just me standing by Dorian.  But I have no idea what the two mages are up to. I’m confused and tug on Dorian’s sleeve.

“What are they doing?”  He only just shrugs and waves his hand at them.

“Just a magical duel, nothing more.”

“And how long do those last?”

“Well,”  He says as he starts to fix his hair.  “Depends on the skill level of the mages.  If Solas is anywhere close to the First Enchanter, they should be around ten or so minutes.”

“How is the winner determined?”

“Whoever yields first.”

 

_Oh man, Solas is about as stubborn as a mule.  I know they both have their disagreements with mages and whatnot, but isn’t there some underlying respect between them?  Like, sure Viv calls him an unwashed hobo, but she does concede that he knows more about the Fade, right?_

“Any chance you know how to stop it?”  Dorian just gives a short laugh as he shakes his head.

“You could always try running in the middle.”   _No way.  I’ve seen the first Pokemon movie.  I don’t wanna die._  I instead sit cross-legged in the snow, slouching a little.  I see Dorian look down at me curiously, a little like I’m crazy, but he joins me in the snow.

 

“So,”  I start, not know what else to say as Solas and Vivienne start tossing spells at one another at lightning speed.  “Who do you think’ll win?”

“I’d place my sovereigns on the First Enchanter.  The Orlesian Circles are part of that Game of theirs, and no doubt political shrewdness could help her outmaneuver our egg friend.”

“Maybe, but Spock might have a few tricks up his sleeve.  He keeps a lot to himself. Give him the element of surprise.”  Now Dorian has a little smile and cocks an eyebrow upward.

“Do you have anything to wager?”

“I got a stick of bubble gum?”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Thank you all so much for your comments and kudos! I didn't think I'd write this much when I started, but your support means a lot. Just to let you know, I'm going to be taking a break from uploading for a few weeks after this. I've got finals coming up next week, moving, a lot of life stuff. I'll keep writing what I can in my spare time. Just to let you all know I haven't abandoned ship yet. Thank you.


	31. In Your Heart Shall Burn

“Just what are you two doing?!”  Cassandra shouts over the din of spells Vivienne and Solas are flinging at each other.  Both of them stop, clearly exhausted but not admitting it to their opponent. Cassandra glares at each of them before turning to Dorian and I.  “What happened here?” Dorian shrugs like it’s no big deal. It turns out he was a little off on the timing. They’d only been fighting for maybe four minutes when Cass rounded the bend.

“Just the usual ‘My magic is better than your magic’ debate.”  Now the Seeker groans. She frowns and glowers at the two mages, her arms crossed and foot tapping like an angry mother.

“You both are dueling at a time like this?  We are in the middle of an evacuation. Catherine must prepare to seal the Breach.  She must learn some combat skills and to control her magic. First Enchanter, I believe you appointed yourself her etiquette teacher, adding magic to that would burn you out.  Solas has been instructing her and he shall remain so. If the two of you are going to have problems I suggest you settle them in a different manner or wait until our work is done.”  Now she takes one final look at them. “I expect better out of both of you.”

 

With that, she pivots on her heel and marches back, her ‘Uggh’ echoing in the silence.  Both mages glance at each other with a sour look before Vivienne puts her staff away and walks off with her head held high.  As soon as she vanishes from view, Solas stomps off, grumbling to himself in Elvish. Both Dorian and I watch as we’re now left alone.

“Well,”  I finally say after watching Solas’ figure retreat up the steps to his cabin.  “I guess we both lost?” He gives an exaggerated shrug as he stands, brushing snow off his trousers.

“Let’s call it a draw, then.  Now then-” He has a mischievous look in his eye as he claps his hands together.  “What else can you do with your illusions?”

* * *

It’s time.  Everything of value has been packed onto our carts.  Servants, refugees, children, and others await the Breach to disappear so they may begin to leave for the mountains.  A group of or soldiers have remained stationed for the coming battle at Haven. The mages who wished to help seal the Breach, led by Fiona, have joined Cassandra, Solas, and I at the Temple ruins.  And now I stare up at the Breach.

_ It’s been almost two or three months since I ended up here.  I’m still no closer to knowing how or why. I can only hope I get answers somehow soon. _  But my mind is more preoccupied with the coming battle.   _ Can I really save everyone?  Will I destroy us with my decisions?  I’m not sure of myself anymore.  _  My stomach is in knots as I stare up at the raw Fade above us.  I can feel some kind of pulsing energy pouring down from it, like sunlight.  I hear the mages marching into place behind me on the balcony. I turn around to see more on the ground behind me, awaiting Cassandra’s orders.  She lifts her blade above her head and shouts, her voice echoing around. She has the floor.

“Mages!”  She calls their attention to Solas, who steps forward, gesturing to me with his staff.

“Focus past the Herald!”  He instructs. “Let her will draw from you!”  Both of my companions nod to me, and as per arrangement, I step closer to the bottom rift.

My mark flares to life as I thrust my hand up to the sky.  The green laser beam shoots out and connects at the center of the rift.  I can barely hear anything over the buzz it makes, but soon I feel a cool sensation wash over me, filling me with vigor, almost.  Every second the coolness grows, so does the buzzing and the heat in my mark. The hum grows louder and at a higher frequency, almost like it’s going to explode.   _ Can my body take this?  I feel drained the more I stand here.  My head is growing dizzy. I feel like I just got off a roller coaster.  And just as sick. _  Louder and louder and faster and faster.  The connection grows stronger on my end, just like sealing those rifts around the Hinterlands.  I’ve done this before. I can do it. I can do it. I can’t...

But then there’s a roar of wind and a gush of pure white light.  My eyes can’t take it. I’m knocked on my back from the break with the rift.  My head hits the stone floor. It’s sharp and painful. I can’t really tell which way is up right now.  My ears are ringing with a high pitched noise as the sky above me clears. As the white flashes away, the green begins to dissipate into a swirl of grey clouds.  _  Is it…?  Is it over? _  I see a familiar face upside down above me.

“Are you hurt?”  Solas’ asks in a worried tone, his eyes very reflective in the red lyrium glow.  I heavily blink a few times to try and regain myself.  _ I’m still dizzy.  I want a nap. I could nap right here.  Or a cupcake. Cupcakes are good. He’s got pointy ears.  They look kinda funny. I wish I could poke them. _  He extends his hand and pulls me up from my potential napping spot.  His grasp is firm as I push myself off the rocks.

“I feel kinda funny, but I think I’m okay.”  The Elvhen mage looks relieved. I feel him grasp my shoulder.  

“You ought to be proud of yourself da’len.  You have come far.”  _ Why’s he gotta keep calling me kid? _  He released me just as I feel another touch, on my back this time.  Now I’m facing Cassandra, who beams at me while standing at arm's length.

“You did it.”  I can hear the pride in her voice.  “The Breach is sealed.” I just really want to hug the both of them right now.  I glance up at the now grey sky again. It feels so odd the Breach is gone. I just got used to looking at that.  

“Yeah…  Yeah, it is.”

* * *

Now we all wait.  What normally would have been filled with laughter and music is silent.  All the people have left us. Hopefully, they’re safe from Corypheus. I pray they all are.  Cullen stands by the gates, getting his men into position at the trebuchets. Josephine left with Mother Giselle an hour ago.  Leliana lingered to give orders and reports to her remaining agents before following the trail. All the companions elected to fight with me for one reason or another.  Part of me feels awful that I’m putting them in danger, but I feel happy that they support me. I’m sitting beside Varric on a wall, staring out into the distance, waiting and watching.  Cassandra approaches me on the lower level, making eye contact with me.  _  I’ve never been tall enough to meet her eyes like this.  Her eyeshadow is dark, making her eyes seem like flints. _

“Solas confirms the heavens are scarred but calm.  You have completely sealed the Breach. Leliana has reports of lingering rifts, and many questions remain.  But this isn’t a victory for us yet. Do you know when the Elder One will march?” I shake my head slowly as I look back at the trees.

“No,  but I think it will happen soon.  I can feel it.” She gives a nod in understanding.

“In any case, word of your heroism will spread after the Breach.”

“But it wasn’t just me.  I had help from so many of you.  I wouldn’t have been able to otherwise.  It’s just… happenstance I’m in the middle.”

“A strange kind of luck.  I’m not sure if we need more or less.  But I agree with you. This was a victory brought on by an alliance.  One of few in recent memory. With the Breach closed, our alliance will need a new focus.”  Just as she finishes, I hear the bells clanging to life. Just over the ridge, I can start to see tiny dots moving over the snow.   _ Right on time. _  Quickly, I hop up onto the wall to try and get everyone's attention.

“Alright people!  It’s showtime! Last chance, you want to leave, go to the Chantry!  Otherwise, we fight a ten-foot tall darkspawn idiot and his spicy pet lizard!  Ya’ll in or what?!” There’s a chorus of yells, mostly affirmatives from Sera, Bull, and Blackwall.  “Alrighty then!” I call out over the racket and jump down from the wall. 

“Let’s boogey.”  As I make my way to Cullen, they all fall into step behind me.  Mages in the middle, arches on the outside, warriors in front and back.  _  I got my own little posse. _

“Forces approaching!”  Cullen yells as he begins to direct traffic.  “To arms! To your places! Move!” The giant wooden gates have been shut by the time the group reaches the Commander.  The Seeker is the one to address him.

“Cullen, report.”  The former Templar is in war mode and immediately starts delivering exposition.

“One WatchGuard reporting.  It’s a massive force, the bulk of it over the mountains.  They march under no known banner-” Suddenly, he’s cut off by a bang on the other side of the gate.

“I can’t come in unless you open!”  A familiar voice calls out, a twinge of desperation in the young man’s voice.  _  Last one till I’ve got the whole set. _  I quickly gesture for the guard to push the doors open and I rush out to meet Cole.

I see Venatori agents littering the ground.  In the center is a familiar figure. He’s bony and tall.  His patchwork clothes are ragged and dirty. His hair is bright blonde and hangs in his face.  His large hat brim casts a shadow over his forehead. His eyes are sunken in and cloudy. His lips are pale and chapped.  His skin cracking in some places. I’m staring at a corpse. I’m looking at-

“Cole!”  The sunken, cloudy, blue eyes flit to me in shock.  Cole stares at me a few long moments, almost like a dog would.  I hear a murmur of confusion behind me from the others. I see him quickly move over to me, almost inches from my face. _  But he's alive.  I didn't change that. Cole’s okay. _

“Relief.  Familiarity.  You know me. Different face, voice, body, name, but still you?  We’ve met, but we haven’t. Another place, a different time. The Other.  But it was you. Always you.”  _ I guess by his cryptic rambling he knows I know him.  I’m just glad he’s okay. _  I see a smile spread on Cole’s lips.  “My friend.” Now he moves almost jittery as he whirls around and points at the mountains.

“I came to warn you, to help. you know that.  People are coming to hurt you, but not the man you expect.  Not him. Another. Different. Not supposed to be here.”  _ Huh?  Who is he talking about? _

“Cole, what do you mean?”

“The Legion’s come to hurt you.  The Templars.” Now Cullen is beside Cassandra, looking just as concerned.

“The Templars?  Is this in response to our talks with the Mages?”  Cole nods, his hat brim flapping up and down from the motion of his head.  He moves stiffly, almost like a doll. He speaks only to me instead of Cullen.

“The Red Templars went to the Elder One.  You know of him. He knows you, but you can’t remember.  You took his mages.” As Cole points upward, I see the figure of Corypheus walk to the edge of the hill.   _ But the man who stands with him?  Who is that? It doesn’t look like Samson… _  “He’s very angry you took his mages…”  Cole mutters as he trails off. Suddenly, some of our guards rush up from the hills, dragging the man who's supposed to be standing up there.  Sampson is chained at the wrists and is lead forward to stand in front of Cullen and I. Cullen has his sword out.

“What is this?!”  The man on the left salutes the Commander.

“We found him trying to enter Haven, ser!  Says he has information on the Elder One and the Red Templars.  Wants to give it in exchange for protection.” I have to hold back my jaw from hitting the floor.   _ What?  Did he defect?  Is this a trick? _  I turn to address Samson directly.

“Why are you here?  I thought you serve the Elder One?  Why turn to us?” The man looks as greasy and unhealthy as I remember from the game.  He grimaces at the chains but says nothing about them. I don’t see a trace of Red Lyrium on his at all.  Not on his armor nor his body. No sword or anything.

“I did serve him, once.  But months ago, he got Alexius messin’ around with the Fade or something.  Dragged some other man here. Better than I am and more experience in conquering nations.  Just his type of man. I got the boot and the other got named General instead.” He frowns to himself momentarily.  “I’ve destroyed them, my men. They’re things now, Red Lyrium monsters. I wanted to show the Chantry what they did to us, to strike back, but this isn’t the path.  Them Clerics hate you lot, so I want in. Give them a word or two, restore my name. I have information on your enemies. I know their plans, weaknesses, bases. You protect me from them, I help you.” 

Every one of us is stunned into silence.  Not even Cullen knows what to say. I look over at Cole, who starts talking as soon as he meets my eyes.

“Scared.  Unknown. Will they help me?  Angry. Hurt. They used us. Wants revenge.  Wants to help them. He is honest.”  _ That’s all I need to go on.  I trust Cole. _

“Fine then, Samson.  We’ll take you into our custody.”  I now point directly at him. “You obey whatever orders you get.  You try anything, you’re out. Your info had better be good.” I hear Samson give a laugh as Cullen gives me a look.

“Are you serious?!”  He yells at me. I nod at him.

“Yo, we need all the info we can get.  Use him. Go play with your friend while I play with a dragon.”  He grumbles but says little more. He points to the Chantry. 

“Take Raleigh to the Chantry and get what you can from him about their troops and movements.  He stays under constant watch.” Both soldiers salute before Samson is dragged off again.

“Cullen, we gotta stick to the plan!”  I order, trying to get back on track after that diversion.   _ Who knows how much time that cost me? _

“If we are to withstand this monster, we must control the battle.  Get out there and hit that force. Use everything you can. Inquisition!”  He yells at his men, pulling out his blade. “For your Herald! For our lives!  For all of us!”

* * *

We get the trebuchets calibrated in record time.  I owe it to all of them. If I didn’t have all the companions with me, it could’ve gone worse.  With all of them fighting, I was able to focus on the wheel with Cole zipping around to protect me.  And since I made the call to evacuate Haven early, there are no civilians to run around and save. We’re able to run directly to the Chantry.  Cullen stands at the open doors, waving us in.

“Move!  Keep going!” He yells as the Chantry door is shoved shut behind us.  I can see the exhaustion and fear in my companions faces. No one says anything as they collect themselves.  Only Cole approaches me after a minute or two.

“Many dead.” He begins saying. “Bodies litter the ground.  Blood. So much blood. You will be fine.” Cole gives me a quiet nod, his eyes strange but reassuring in the firefight.  He must be reading my feelings. 

“You did well.”  I can see everyone watching him suspiciously.  Solas seems interested, but he's the only one as far as I can tell.  Dorian is the first to comment.

“What a charming boy…”

While everyone takes advantage of the breather, Cullen approaches Cassandra.

“Seeker, our position here is not good.  If we had more men-” His thought stops as a roar from outside booms.  Cullen’s frown increases as he sighs. “-That dragon stole back anytime you might have earned us.”  Cassandra bites her lip, a stern look on her face. Cole pipes up again, pointing at himself and me.

“I’ve seen an Archdemon.  She’s seen an Archdemon. It looked like that.”  He gestures outside. Cullen isn’t in a good mood now and snaps at the spirit boy.

“I don’t care if it’s covered in polka dots, that thing cut a path through our army!  At this rate, the buildings will burn around us.” Cole doesn't react to the outburst, only talking to me again.

“Angry, desperate, fear.  Will we die? Should I not have listened?  He is fearful for everyone. So much on his shoulders.  On yours, too.” He turns his eyes to the door again. “The Elder One doesn't care about the village.  He wants the Herald. He wants you. The Outlyer.”

“Then I guess I gotta go punch a dragon then?”  Cole seems to take my grumble literally, as he looks shocked.  Not too different a change from his normal face, but I can tell.

“How could you?  It’s so big. You’re so small.  He wants to kill you. No one else matters.  He’ll crush them, kill them anyway. I don’t like him.”  Cole frowns to himself. Cullen resumes his conversation with Cassandra.

“Seeker, there are no tactics to make this survivable.  The girl said we need to cause another avalanche to bury them, but you won’t last alone against them.”  He pauses as there’s a loud crack from outside, followed by a deafening roar. The Chantry roof above us trebles and I can see dust falling from above.  “But.. you have others. And you have the element of her strange nature. Perhaps you can surprise them? Find a way? This is our last stand, I must pull those I can.”  She nods in understanding.

“Right, get the rest of your men out of here and safe.  I believe Catherine knows what to do.” He places a firm gloved hand on her shoulder as she turns away.

“If you are to have a chance.  If we are to have a chance, let that thing hear you.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I broke my rule and decided to upload this while I still have my computer. One final down, two to go.


	32. We Didn't Light it, But We're Trying To Fight It

“So we need to make ourselves noticed?”  Dorian comments the second my large group and I reach the trebuchet.  “Happens to be a specialty of mine.” I stand on the platform by the wheel to address them all.

“Okay, dudes!  This is the last trebuchet!  When this thing is calibrated, you all need to book it to the Chantry and evac.  When that happens, Corphy’s going to try and ice me. I know what I have to do to fire this sucker.  There’s going to be a lot of Red Templars while we do this. At least three waves or so. Ya’ll gotta be prepared to fight.”  There’s a chorus of ‘Yes Herald.” just as the sounds of marching Red Templars come from the wooded paths.

“Alrighty then.  Let’s do this.”

 

I thought it’d be smooth sailing like we planned, but it never goes like we plan.  The Templars swarm us and make a beeline for me. A few Templars push their way past my companions and there’s more than Cole can handle on his own.  Everyone is preoccupied with other Templars and Behemoths. _I’ve got no choice.  I’ve got to fight. But I’m blanking.  I can’t think of anything to morph into?  Oh no, what do I do? What do I do?! Think!  Think!_

I try watching the movements of the Red Templars.  They’re almost savage, just wildly swinging around in an effort to attack.  The Red Lyrium armor seems to be weighing them down. They can’t really run much, only walk.  The red Behemoths, on the other hand, seem more like monsters. They roar and scream and seem to be made out of pure rock.   _Hard to believe that used to be a person.  Much less someone who took that lyrium willingly.  I’d have a much easier time with one of the knights.  They’re wearing helmets, so I don’t have much opportunity to stun them.  Could their armor come off somehow? I can’t see any open spots? Maybe I could somehow get behind them and-  Wait! Darknuts! They’re like Darknuts!_

I concentrate, trying to ignore the battle around me.  It’s much easier than Korra, as I slip into his form, like putting on socks.  When I open my eyes, I see Cole trying to fight two Red Lyrium Templars at once.  I have no time to question if it will work, I just unsheath my sword and shield. In my mind, I can almost feel a controller in my hands, pressing the button to roll around to the Templar’s back.   _It’s strange, I’ve barely able to do a cartwheel or forward roll, yet I’m able to copy his moves like I’ve done this before.  I mean, I guess I technically have done this before. Maybe that’s it?_  When I’m upright, sure enough, I can see straps where the armor is buckled.

As soon as I slash the buckles near his shoulders, the front of his armor comes down, revealing his neck for Cole to cut.  Cole then poofs behind the other guy after I bop him with my shield. The helm gets knocked off after the blow and soon the second Templar is in the snow by his friend.  With a few seconds to breathe, Cole speaks.

“Thank you,”  He tells me, but I can only nod back.  Link can’t talk and I don’t know what would happen if I tried.  Would it be my voice or would I just end up screaming in Cole’s face?  “You helped. Sword in hand, you fight again. Easy, natural, you’ve done this before.  So much green.” Out of the corner of my vision, I see Bull decimate at least three Templars with his ax, knocking the three of them down as if they were bowling pins.  To our right, I see Cassandra and Viv trying to take down a Behemoth. Cole follows my gaze and nods to me in agreement.

“They need help.”  Is all he says before dashing to help Cass.  I quickly follow, remembering I have more items as my disposal than just a sword.   _Red Lyrium seems fragile.  I remember out in the Hinterlands my group found some huge veins of the stuff.  Cassandra was easily able to destroy it by running into it with her shield. If a shield with force can do that, what about a bomb?_  I internally cycle through the item selection, remembering in Twilight Princess you can attach bombs to arrows.  That’d be the safest bet. Viv is launching all the ice spells she can at the thing as it towers over Cassandra, who are hacking away at it.  The Behemoth groans like a statue as one of its arms come down hard. It would've hit Cass if Cole hadn’t shoved her out of the way. Now that it’s clear, I launch a bomb arrow.  As soon as the bomb explodes, the giant Behemoth shatters and roars as it falls apart where it stood. All is quiet now, the Templars are gone.  I change back into myself as Cass approaches.

 

“Did you… do that?”  Cassandra asks as she looks back and forth from me to the bits of Red Lyrium glowing in the snow.  I become myself again as Blackwall darts past us to the trebuchet wheel. I nod to the Seeker.

“I, uh, yeah.  Made it explode.  I figured it could work if you could break the red stuff with your shield, then red lyrium has got to be brittle?”  As the medieval weapon behind us groans as it turns, Varric pats me on the shoulder.

“Nice one, Dots.  Quick thinking there.”  I can’t help but beam at the praise.

“Thanks-”  But I’m cut off by a loud swooping overhead.   _Oh, this is bad.  Swooping is bad. Very, very bad._

“Fuck!”  Sera starts a string of curses as the dragon gets nearer. “Fuck-piss-balls-shit-bitch-Maker Ass!”  Cassandra once again jumps into action, seemingly calm at the situation. But if she did fight three dragons at once, this is probably a cakewalk for her.

“Run!”  She shouts as everyone follows her orders and books to the Chantry.  My legs, however, are stuck. I can’t look away from the loud, roaring beast above me.  I’m terrified. I hear the others shouting for me to move or run, but I still can’t move.  I never thought I’d ever see anything like a dragon or even up close. I guess it’s more than reasonable to assume so many creatures had a reason to be afraid of dinosaurs.   _Oh man, that is scary.  I’m going to die, aren’t I?  Why can’t I bring myself to move?  I have to move! I need to-_  But suddenly I’m thrown out of the way of its fire breath but someone in armor.  We roll on the ground a few times, snow going down my shirt as we land. I groan and lift myself up, wondering just who saved me.  I only have to see the hair to tell in the dark light.

“Cass!”  Half of me is shocked she doubled back to save me, but I’m also so, so happy she did.  I’d have been toast if she went on.

“Now is not the time for this!”  She shouts over the dragon, hauling me up by the wrist and beginning to run.  “We must-” But then we’re stopped by the large, growling dragon landing in our path.  It stalks towards us, forcing Cassandra to push me behind her, her sword out. She seems so strong and determined in contrast with my frozen fear.   _What I wouldn’t give to be brave like her..._

 

“Enough!”  A familiar and creepy voice behind me causes us to whirl around, one eye on the dragon.  And there, getting ever closer is the man of the hour. Corypheus looks ten feet tall from my angle.  His face is vaguely human if it wasn’t for the greyish-pink skin or crystals growing from his face. He wears an old, tattered robe.  His hands are bony and elongated, almost like claws. In his right hands floats a glowing red orb. Solas’ orb. “Outlier, you toy with forces beyond your ken.  No more.” He growls only at me. _Outlier?  What does that mean?  I remember Cole said something like that too.  But I’ve got to say something. Anything. I need to buy us time.  I gotta kick the trebuchet to fire so we can get out._

“Shut up ugly!”  I yell at him after finding my voice  “I’m not afraid of you!” This only makes the darkspawn give a single, bitter, laugh/

“So the screaming lunatic can speak?  Remarkable…” _Wait, have I met him before?  Does this mean I was at the Temple before the explosion?  Why can’t I remember?_  “Mortals beg for truth they cannot have, it is beyond what you are.  What I was. Know me. Know what you pretend to be. Exalt the Elder One.  The will that is Corypheus. You will kneel.” Cassandra points her sword at Corphy, her eyebrows knit tight and face scowled.

“We will never bow to you!”

“What'd you mean by ‘lunatic’?  I’ve never seen you before!” I can’t remember anything at all!  

“Your understanding is not required.  If you remember, consider yourself blessed.  I am here for the Anchor you somehow stole. The process of removing it begins now.”  As the orb flares to life so does my Anchor. My right-hand twitches and the skin feels like it’s burning up.  I can’t help it when I yelp and fall to my knees. I hear Cassandra move to aid me, but some type of energy field appears and she’s stuck on the other side.  As I grumble in pain, I see another man appear from behind the darkspawn.

“Caesar!”  The Elder One addresses him.  “Come!” The man steps into view in front of me.  I can only see his feet, covered in sandals instead of boots I’ve seen most people wear.  He wears something that looks like a skirt but made of leather strips. The cloth he wears under the armor is white with a deep purple stripe across the bottom.  Over his chest is a metal breastplate, the sleeves short and the same design as his skirt. His face is old and worn. His skin is dark from the sun and his hair is closely cropped and grey.

“Observe her.”  The Elder One commands, pointing a claw at my kneeling form.  “Do you know what she is?” The man named Caesar, who must be a high ranking Venatori, bends to my level and grabs my face with a rough hand.  I hear Cassandra bang on the magical wall behind us.

“Let her go!”  She sounds muffled like she’s behind glass.  The man holding my jaw roughly twists my face back and forth, frowning as she does so.

“Who are you?!”  I yell up at him.  But he pays my question no heed.  My head is dropped and he turns to the Elder One.

“Nothing more than a Germanic slave, judging by the hair.  Perhaps one of those barbarians from Gaul or Albion. No matter.”  Wait… Gaul? Albion? I know those. They were Roman provinces… Now the man points to me, yelling at me as loud as he can.  “I am your Imperator! The ruler of Rome! I am Gaius Julius Caesar!” _He pronounced it like ‘Gayus Yulius Kizar’.  Wait! That’s Caesar! The Caesar! That journal entry I read in the future talked about Corphy summoning a man who replaced Samson.  This is him. Corphy summoned Julius Caesar from my world…_

“She is beneath us, Elder One.”  Caesar scoffs and returns to the darkspawn’s side.  “Do with her as you will.” With this, Cory activates the orb again and begins to stalk closer and closer.

“It is your fault, ‘Herald’.” He begins his rant.  “Somehow, you interrupted a ritual years in planning by some unknown force.  And instead of dying you stole its purpose. Be aware whoever sent you shall pay the price by my hand, whoever your people are.  I do not know how you survived, but what marks you as touched, what you flail at rifts, I created to assault the very heavens.” _Whatever, been here, heard this._

“Nu...uh!”  I groan out from the pain at him.

“And you used the Anchor to undo my work.  The gall.” As I glare up at him, I concentrate under the sparking Anchor to morph into my Warden, Fenrir.

“Fuck you, you stupid rock candy idiot!  I killed your buddy the Architect and I can kill you too!”  Corypheus isn’t phased by my taunt and only lifts me by the wrist with the Anchor.  I’m now dangling who knows how high in the air.

“You think you can truly stop me when you hide behind the mask of another for your power?  I once breached the Fade in the name of another. To serve the Old Gods of the Empire in person.  I found only chaos and corruption. Dead whispers. For a thousand years I was confused. But no more.  I have gathered the will to return under no name but my own. To champion withered Tevinter into a new dawn under a Roman legion.  Beg that I succeed. For I have seen the throne of the gods and it was empty!”

 

With the barrier holding Cassandra down, I smack into the trebuchet. Fenrir's groan of pain changes as I become myself once I land.  Though ringing ears I hear her call to me.

“Catherine!”  But as she moves to help me, Caesar grabs her arm back and holds his blade at her throat.  I can see her start to struggle, but I shake my head to her. I’m where I want to be. I can do this.  I mouth ‘Trust me.’ to her and after a pause, nods. The darkspawn moves closer, hoping for his Anchor.

“The Anchor is permanent.  You have spoilt it with your stumbling.” _I have to wonder what he aims to use Caesar for.  He’s a power-hungry dictator, there’s no way he’d serve a god that wasn’t from the Roman pantheon…_

“You may have a Roman commander, but you don’t know the man you got.  You’ll be your own undoing if I don’t kill you first!”

“So be it, then,”  Corypheus growls in frustration.  “I shall find a new way to give his world the Imperium and God it requires.  And I shall not suffer a foolish, outlander rival. You must die.” _Hell, no am I going out here._

 

“I haven’t even gotten a puppy!  No way am I dying here!" I scream as I throw myself against the handle.  Thankfully, it goes off. The rock goes flying and hits the mountains somewhere.  The avalanche has begun. In the confusion, Cassandra hits Ceaser in the face with her elbow and runs from his grip.   “Cass, book it!” I yell as I grab the taller woman’s wrist.

“This way!”  I call over my shoulder as I run for the tunnels.

“Gaius!”  Corphy yells over the falling snow and dragon roar.  “To me!”

“Jump!”  I yell to the Seeker as I pull her through with me.  We’re falling through darkness, the roar of snow above us.  The two of us hit wooden beams of sorts as we fall. _I don't wanna die!  I don’t!_  

* * *

 

When I wake up, everything feels strange.  I look around to find everything covered in a white, swirling mist.  I’m standing on a castle balcony of sorts. In front of me are an open pair of large, gilded doors.  They lead to a hallway, lined with a long carpet and portraits on the walls. In the distance, I see a floating figure.  Quickly, I chase after it.

“Hey!”  I call out to them.  The doors boom shut behind me as I cross the threshold.  “Hello?” But as I call, the figure beckons me to follow and continues down the hallway.  I have no choice but to follow.

As I slowly walk down, I can hear whispers around me.  Other people. Some conversation of sorts. In the distance, I can hear a distorted music box playing a familiar tune.

“It is quite wonderful, isn’t it?”  A man says. A young girl's voice asks a question.  Each of them has British accents.

“Where is the grand dining hall?”

“Oh, in the north wing.  My lord hasn’t been in there since…”  He trails off. “Since the tragic deaths of the Lady and little Amelia.”

“Oh…”  The girl says after a pause.  “I heard. That was so awful.”

“Yes, he, uh, misses them terribly.”

 

I’ve reached the end of the hall now.  The green figure slips through the doors before I can get a look at them.  Both the doors in front of me are as large as the first. They open with a groan.  Slowly, I step inside. I’m standing in an office. To the left is a table littered with papers.  Bookshelves that extend to the ceiling are crammed with volumes. At the edge of the room are tall, ornate windows.  I can see snow falling down beyond them. The green figure, a woman, I was following floats in the center of a raised circle on the floor.

“Excuse me?  Do you know where I-”  I step closer and closer, but it keeps going further away.  I make it up to the glass. There’s a shatter, a scream, and the window is broken.  The figure waves it’s arm at me.

“Jump.”  Is all it says.  I tiptoe my way to the edge of the window.  There’s nothing but blackness.

“Is this the Fade?”  I ask. The figure only waves for me to move.

“Jump."  It repeats in a female voice.  I have no other choice. I’m stuck here if I don’t do anything.  Shutting my eyes, I duck through the opening and let myself walk off the edge.  As the wind and snow swirl in my ears, I start hearing other sounds. Echos in a cave, wood splintering.  I can feel a hand on my shoulder.

“-erine!”  The voice shouts.  A white light starts to rush up to meet me.  Before I’m plunged into a cold sensation, the voice that lead me here speaks.

“Death is not your destiny today, little Sparrow.”

 

I wake up on the cavern floor with a jolt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got done with my finals yesterday! I'm all done! Thank you guys for your comments and kudos!


	33. Everybody Look What's Going Down

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If the format is a little odd, I'm uploading from my phone this time. I'll edit it once I get back from Disney. Waiting for the Beauty and the Beast show to start! :D

I groan as I come to.   _What was that in the Fade? The light tunnel before I die?  A dream?_ _Was that a spirit or something out of my imagination? And why did the figure look familiar? I can't place them._  I turn my head to see Cassandra to my left, crouched at my side, her hand on my shoulder.

“Thank the Maker!” She exclaims.  “I feared you were hurt during the fall.” I sit up and turn my head about.  We’re in an icy cavern under Haven, just like in the game.  Cass is with me and we’re both unhurt.   _I did it._

“I think I'm ok.  What about you?”

“Thankfully, my armor was undamaged during the battle, so I am not worse for wear.  Do you know where we are, Catherine?”  I grab the offered hand as I stand up, glancing around for an idea.

“I think so.  We need to go…” I mumble as I think of what I had to do in the game at this point.  I stick my pointer finger towards the dark tunnel ahead.  “-that way! Once we get outta here, we need to follow whatever trail we can find.” Cassandra nods as we begin walking into the cold darkness.

 

“Did you know that man? Whoever was with that Corypheus?”

“Sorta kinda.  Never met him.  Caesar has been dead for a while back home.  I've only read about him in history books.”  Cassandra is quiet for a few moments.  Almost like I can hear her thinking.

“Just who is this ‘Kaizar’ we encountered? And what would Corypheus gain from his alliance?”

“Well, Caesar was a military man.  He rose through the ranks of the Roman Legion and became a general.  Then he got into politics and ruled Rome in a Triumphrat with two other dudes.  But after he was coming back from a campaign in Gaul, he didn't want to give up his army.  So he staged a coup and marched on Rome.  He took over the Senate, named himself Dictator for life, and let the Senate keep playing house.  Eventually some conspirators wanted Rome back to a Republic and stabbed Caesar.  He died from a few wounds.  I guess Corphy summoned him after that somehow.  I guess he wants his otherworldly knowledge and military prowess to aid him in his plans. I can bet Ceaser is only going along with it.  I doubt he would worship anyone but Jupiter or himself.  I feel like he might be planning to backstab Corphy eventually.  At least he didn't summon Alexander the Great or Atilla the Hun.”

“Who are they?”

“A guy who almost conquered the world and Caesar's idol, and a really scary conqueror respectively.  Caesar's Achilles Heel is his pride.  At least that's a plus.”  Cassandra gives a stiff nod as we start to come to the demons huddled near the mouth of the cave.  As if on cue, the Anchor begins to spark.  The warrior Seeker starts to her weapons but I stop her with my arm.  She tilts her head at me and begins to open her mouth in protest.  I cock my head at the horde of monsters.

“Wanna see a cool party trick?”

* * *

 

Solas glances out at the snowy valley the Inquisition is camped in.  Haven was buried just as the group of them fled the dragon.  The Seeker had run back for the Herald, but he didn’t know if they survived the encounter.   _Corypheus was not dead.  That was his mistake._   _And if Cassandra and Catherine died at that monster's hand…  That was another thing to add to his growing list_.  The Dread Wolf resumes his prowl as he keeps watching for any signs of life, as the knot in his stomach only grows with each minute.  The staff in his hands spins as he fidgets.  He's been like this for a couple hours now.  Solas has almost made a rut in the snow where he's paced.

 

Currently, Blackwall sits near at a small campfire, carving a small hunk of wood.  The Warden hadn't said much since they arrived.  Sera sits on a log as she pokes the embers with a stick.  For a long time, she was stunned to silence by the Archdemon, now quietly mumbling to herself how the Herald had ‘better come back or else…’.   _That is the one thing we can agree on._  Solas thinks to himself wryly.  After a few more minutes of pacing, Dorian finally approaches Solas.  A cough brings Solas out of his thoughts.

“Just how long are you going to prowl back and forth like a lion, exactly?” The Dread Wolf bites his tongue from a snarky comment and simply rolls his eyes.

“Very funny.” The elf grumbles before resuming his scan of the area.

“You ought to rest, you know.” Dorian says in an offhand manner.  “You're not the only one worried.”  Solas’ eyes narrow slightly.

“I am fine!” He snaps in anger.  “I am scouting for the Seeker and the Herald.” Solas stands up straighter and stops twirling with his staff.  “And Catherine is my pupil, it is only natural that I-" But Dorian cuts him off. The Vint has a slight smirk on his face and his arms crossed.

“With the way you’re fretting over her, you might as well be her father.”  Solas drums his fingers on his staff as he attempts to ignore Dorian.  

Solas never had any children.  Back in Arlathan, he’d much more wild and carefree.  His younger self never wanted to be tied down.  He was free like the wind to explore the Fade and do as he wished.  Then came the rebellion.  Such a time is no place to start a family.  After he’d awoken from his sleep, he never gave the idea much thought anymore.  He had to restore his people.  They may as well be his children.  He's only worried for the Herald as a friend and mentor.  And she bares his Mark.  She's the only one who can fix his mistake with Corypheus.  She must survive.  His scouting for them in the snow is pragmatic.  The Dread Wolf cannot be her father.

“On second thought,” Dorian pipes up yet again, drawing Solas out of his mind.  “With the way you're brooding, you're more like a mother hen.”

Solas’ ears go red at the tips as he scowls at the Tevinter mage.  When he was younger he'd have probably flipped him off.  Part of him wishes he still could.  But unfortunately he has appearances to keep up.

* * *

 

Cole sits in a dark corner on top of an empty barrel.  He sits and he watches.  Watches and listens.  Listens for ways he could help.  Very few of the soldiers are mortally injured.  Just some stab wounds or cuts.  Nothing the healers can't fix.  Cole cannot help them.  Only a few have died so far.  

Some people might consider that a miracle, and some from Haven do.  Many people think the Herald has been blessed by the Maker with the gift of prophecy and was sent to deliver them from Corypheus and the Breach.  More pessimistic servants and workers think it was just luck.  Perhaps it was.  Cole was unsure.  

As soon as he approached the Herald he felt many different emotions from her.  Relief he was okay.  Happiness from the fact she already knew him.  Worry she might have changed things.  More worry that Cole might read her mind and he’d spill everything she knew.  He knew everything now, but felt very confused because of it.  Solas plans to hurt everyone.  He feels guilty about what he did.  That sort of makes sense.  Cole catches things from Solas sometimes, when the elf thinks no one can see him.  But Cole can and does and emphasizes.  A deep regret and longing.  Anxiety over what he thinks are mistakes.  What Catherine revealed puts those into perspective for him.  Cole will ask her later.  The Seeker and Herald are close, he can tell.  

He moves from the barrel and walks closer to the entrance to help how he can.  He could sense Cullen was in a bad mood.  And the Commander usually took his anger out on the Herald.  Cole wasn't too sure why Cullen did that.  He liked the Herald.  Why was he bent on ignoring her?


	34. The Long Walk to Nowhere

“What would you have me tell them?  This isn’t what we asked them to do!”  Cullen angrily gripes as he stands with the other advisors at the fire.  The Commander, Ambassador, and Spymistress are all standing and arguing.  Cassandra sits on a nearby log with a blanket wrapped around her shoulders.  She frowns as they bicker and snap at each other.

“We cannot simply ignore this!”  She grumbles at Cullen from her spot.  “We must find a way!” This only ruffles Cullen’s feathers.

“And who put you in charge? We need a consensus or we have nothing!”  Josie tries to step between the both of them.

“Please, we must use reason!  Without the infrastructure of the Inquisition, we’re hobbled!”

“That can’t come from nowhere!”  Leliana steps closer to Cullen.

“She didn’t say it could!”  Cassandra continues to shiver and fume under her blanket.

“Enough! This is getting us nowhere!”  She finalizes. The four of them grow silent.

“Well we’re agreed on that much,”  Cullen growls as he stomps off to who knows where.  Josie and Leliana sit on a different log from Cassandra.  Both are quiet.

Just as annoyed, I throw the blanket off me and push myself up to get off the cot.  However, a gentle hand holds me back. It’s Mother Giselle, who’s been directing people to help the injured.  There aren’t many here, luckily.

 

“Shh, you need to rest.”  SHe tries to get me to lay back again, but I stubbornly push her hand off.

“I’m fine, really.”

“Both you and the Seeker walked for an hour in the blistering cold.  Please, lie still.”

“I’m from Michigan.  This isn’t cold.” _That’s technically a lie.  I was born in Florida. I’m freezing out here.  I hate the cold._ I glance back at the few of the advisors sitting.  I scan around for Cullen but I can’t see where he stormed off to.  “How long will they cluck like chickens, exactly?” Giselle has a sad sort of smile on her face as she looks from them back to me.

“They have that luxury because of your advice.  The enemy cannot follow us, and with time to doubt, we turn to blame.  In-fighting may threaten us as much as this Corypheus or Roman Legion.” I frown to myself as I glance around.  I didn’t pay attention to where the army might have gone. I was just focused on getting Cassandra and I to the campsite.  I should have paid more attention.

“Has there been any word on where they fled?”  Giselle follows my frowning eyes and shakes her head shortly after.

“There has been no sign of them.  Of course, the only one who truly knows where we are is you.  It was your advice that lead us here and delivered us from evil.  Perhaps he believes you are dead? Without Haven, we are thought helpless.  I do not know the mind of that creature or his general. I can only guess as much as anyone.”  She doesn’t shrug her shoulders at this comment. The Revered mother only folds her hands in her lap.  I try again to rise from the cot.

“It was my idea to come here, I ought to help them plan.  I’m the only one right now with an idea of where to go.” _Expect for Solas.  I don’t even know how to get to Skyhold from here…_  Again, Giselle keeps me from leaving.

“As much as you could help, with how angry our Commander is, I do not think that would be wise.”   _I’ve just about had my fill of this guy._

“Just why does he hate me so much?  What did I do to him?”

 

“I know only little of his past.  He had to go through many hardships at Kinloch and the Gallows.  Perhaps your magic reminds him of that? There are still many who are unsure of you, with your strange nature.  That could be another reason. Our leaders struggle because of what our survivors witnessed. We saw our defender, prophet, and guide stand against an ancient evil and fell.  And now she has returned to us.”

“But I didn’t die at all.  I’m not some… holy blessed figure.”   _Why won’t anyone treat me like a person anymore?  I just want to be me again…_

“The more the enemy seems beyond us, the more miraculous your actions seem.  And the more our trials seem ordained. I imagine for someone who does not believe in such things, it is hard to accept.”

“How does what I believe in matter here?  Even if Corphy is connected to your scripture, he’s still a real threat.  Faith alone won’t help us against Roman swords.” Now when I stand, Giselle does nothing to stop me.  There’s a slight pause as her eyes look at the ground. After a few moments, she raises her head and looks me in the eyes.

“Tell me, where you come from, what would your people do in this situation?”   _I honestly can’t say.  I don’t speak for my people.  They’re so varied. I can only speak for myself.  I don’t know if she means my country or my universe._

“We find Corphy and bring him down.  He’s a threat to everyone and the world.  We need to step up and do something.”

As if on cue, she stands and moves to stay by my side.  Giselle looks to the mountains ahead. They’re a dark silhouette against the starry sky.

“But what truly motivates?  Justice on its own might work on a lesser scale, but it cannot push an army.  Individuals need faith to guide them through dark times like these. You may deny your title the people have bestowed on you, but I would heed you to use it to restore our hope.  The people will only follow you. You will need to bring them to their full potential if you wish to fight this darkspawn. To do this you may need to change your way of thinking.”  I try to bite back my grumble of frustration. _This again…_

“...I can see your point, but I'm not contorting for the sake of morale.  That's lying to everyone. I don't like doing that.”

 

The mother lets me leave without another word.   _I don’t know where I’m walking to.  She’s not singing like she normally does.  Wonder why? Is that just something else I’ve changed?_  Suddenly, a tap on my arm makes me stop in my tracks.  When I turn around, Cole is standing there like a ghost.  He just stands there motionless, like he never even tapped me.  His eyes seem bright against the darkness around us.

“I need to talk to you.”  I’m taken aback for a second, but then I give Cole a few nods.

“Yeah, sure.”

 

Cole gently takes me by the wrist and leads me to the edge of the camp.  It’s dark and back behind the tents. There are no soldiers over here. No clerics or healers.  The companions are scattered around. There’s no one to overhear us. _I wonder what’s on Cole’s mind?_

 

“What’s up, Cole?”  When the spirit boy squints in confusion and glances at the sky, I have to smile.  “That’s an expression. What did you need to talk about?” Cole nods a little bit before starting to speak.

“I’m confused.”  He begins slowly like he’s muddled.  “So many different things. Swimming in your mind like a pool.  Fear, doubts, unsure, worry. And him.” Now Cole points over my shoulder behind me.  I turn to see Solas standing by a pole, leaning and watching something. As I stand there trying to figure out why Cole is confused, Solas’ eyes flash to us.  I almost feel like when Link spies on Ganondorf and gets caught in Ocarina of Time. I wave a little to Solas. He respectfully nods before turning back to what he was doing.

“Solas?  What about him?”  Cole’s head has a slight tilt as he turns to watch Solas.

“Everything.  Sadness. So much pain.  Lost. Worried for the Inquisition.  For you. Sometimes he pushes it back, but then the pain just hits him harder.  He hurts. I can’t heal his hurt. You know things about him. Things he won’t let me see.  I need to know. I want to help.”

_Wait… I know things?  Things he won’t let me see?_

_Wait…  Did Cole... did Cole see?_

_Cole saw._

_Cole knows?_

_Oh no._

_Cole knows what I know.  Cole knows what I know!_

“Uhh…  How… How much do you know?”  After I stutter out the question, Cole’s eyes turn to me.

“Things you thought of when we met.  Things you’re thinking now. Solas is lying.  He thinks he can heal his hurt if he hurts the world.  You want to help him to see. A ballroom filled with masks and knives.  It scares you. A fortress on fire, so much pain, and death. Falling. Terror.  Green. You have to choose. You don’t want to make that choice. Dragons. A woman.  Laughs. Scary, but you like her. Fighting the monster. Flying rocks. You win. Then everything breaks.”

Cole just spoiled the whole game and Trespasser.  No details though. Bits and pieces.

 

“And you got all that… from my head?”  Cole nods a few times, his hat brim flopping.  But his eyes squint in confusion.

“Surprise and confusion.  But you knew I can do that.”  I shrug and nod.

“Yeah, I know, but it’s different in person.”  Cole makes no change in his face.

“Oh.”  Is all his has to say at that.

 

I glance back at Solas and move closer to Cole.  I start to whisper to him, I don’t know where and how big Solas’ ears are.

“But his ears are on his head.”  Cole is even more confused. I shake my head rapidly.

“No, no, his spies.  I meant his spies. Look, I know you want to help, but I need you to stay quiet.  I really, really need Solas to think I don’t know anything. That we don’t know anything.”  Cole glances back at Solas.

“You think he might run.  That he’ll get scared and try again, earlier than he should.  Will friendship really help him? Are you right?” I shrug again.

 

“Solas might have survivor's guilt, about surviving the collapse of his society.  I was just kind of hoping, maybe if I befriend him, I might be able to talk him down when the time comes.  If he figures out I know already, that I’ve known the whole time…” I trail off as I don’t want to think about it.  Cole seems just as distracted.

“But…  How do I help him?”

“Just, by being there for him?  He’s a loner, so maybe you can help me bring him out of his shell a little?  And, about the rest of the stuff, I can let you know more when the time comes, okay?”  Thankfully, Cole nods to me in agreement.

 

“Okay.”  Is all his says again.  As I turn to go, a thought occurs.  Cole hasn’t moved. Maybe he can sense I want to ask him something?

“Hey, before I go, can I ask you a random question?”  Cole just nods again. “Since you can tell other people’s emotions… have you figured out anything about Cullen?  I want to know why he hates me so much.” Cole tilts his head, the hat flopping a tad in the wind.

“That wasn’t a random question?  You’ve wondered that before. So has Cassandra.  And Josephine. And Solas. And-” I cut him off quickly with a wave of my hands.

“Yeah, yeah.  Do you know?” Cole now pauses for a bit.  It’s not hard for me to tell he’s thinking.  He makes the same sort of squinting face he does when confused.  But instead of looking forward he looks down.

 

“It’s hard to tell.  He likes you. But he hates that.  You remind him of someone. I don’t know how.  You look nothing like her. But all the same, he thinks.  It reminds him of that time, of that. He doesn't like it.  He thinks if he ignores you, it will go away. But it just keeps coming back.  He doesn’t like that you’re mouthy, but all the same, he likes you more. It frustrates him.  The withdrawal makes it worse.”

 _Wait… huh?  Cullen...likes me?  Look nothing like her?  Who her? Wait, that time must be Klinoch.  That means I remind him of Amell. Oh no._ My stomach starts doing flips as my mind starts running.  Cole starts to vocalise my thought process. He starts talking as fast as I’m thinking.  “Fear. Worry. How he was written. Like he had to force himself on her to get her out of his head.  He thought that. He’s creepy. You never liked him. The first thing he says to her, about having to kill her should she fail.  Anger, disgust. He wants you to kill all of them. If you listen, he kills more. At Kirkwall he says mages aren’t people. He only stopped the Commander because she threatened him.  Confusion. Why is he even here? Cullen might not be the best for the job. Only hear because of fangirls. His romance is boring to you. You want him to get better because no one should go through addiction.  But you still don’t like him.”

 

I have to blink a few times to still my mind and bring myself back.

“Cole… when you say he likes me, do you mean as a person, a friend, or…”  I pause and swallow. “Like her?” Cole, unfortunately, nods to me a couple times, gravely.  His eyes dimly reflect the firelight in the distance.

“Her.”  That’s all he says.  All Cole has to say to freak me out beyond belief.  Now he starts spitting out what I’m feeling even faster than before.

“Fear.  So much fear.  Don’t like it. Don’t want it.  Disgust. Don’t let him touch me.  In the scene, the Commander pins her to the wall.  That makes you scared. Cornered against a lion. He throws her on the desk.  That thought makes you sick. Scared. Can’t move. Spinning. Too much.” As I keep thinking, Cole gets a hard look on his face and pulls a knife from his belt.

 

“Cole!  What are you doing?!”  I move forward to grab his arm but he almost phases through my hand and keeps walking.  I move forward to stand in front of him. Luckily, he stops.

“If he keeps thinking of you, he’ll hurt you.  You’re my friend. I won’t let him hurt you.” When he starts to move again, I grab his hand and make sure to look him in the face.

“Cole, stabbing Cullen won’t help, that’ll make things worse!”

“But-”

 

I put my hands on his shoulders and grip him tight.

“Look, Cole, I know you want to help, but right now you can’t hurt Cullen based on his thoughts.  Look, can you please watch him for me? Make sure he doesn’t get any ideas.” After a few long moments and long looks at Cole, he reluctantly puts the knife away.

“He won’t touch you.  I won’t let him.”

 

“Catherine?”  Solas’ voice from behind me takes me by surprise.  I almost jump as I turn around to face him. I feel like I just got snow tossed down my shirt.  Solas looks startled and worried after my screech.

“Sorry!  Sorry!” I start talking fast, my words overlapping somewhat.  “You snuck up on me.” The older man gives a small smile.

“I apologize.  May I have a word?”

“Y-Yeah,  sure.” I expect him to turn and leave immediately, but he stops to study me.

“Are you in need of healing?  You seem pale.” I shake my head again, my hair almost getting caught in my mouth.

“It’s nothing…”  Cole and I share a look.  I see him give a tiny nod.  I feel a cold hand give mine a reassuring squeeze.  I’ll be fine. I’ll be okay.

“I’m okay.  Just still recovering from the shock I guess.”

* * *

 

Solas has taken me to the far-flung edge of the valley.  We stand near a cliff that overlooks the scenery. With a wave of his hand, the elven mage lights a lone torch with a green flame.

“Whoa!  What is that?”  I can’t help the curious reaction and move closer to peer at it.  Solas kind of laughs to himself as he watches me.

“It is veilfire.”  He explains.

“Why is it green?”

“It is a reflection of the fade; a memory of where a flame once burned.”  I nod along. _If it’s only a memory, does it really burn?  I can’t feel any heat from it at all. If the blue part is the hottest flame, is green even more?_

“Can I touch-”  But as I start to move my hand, Solas smacks my wrist to keep me away.

“No, you shall still get burned.”  I rub my wrist. _That stings._

“Ow…”

 

Solas switches gears and moves to the topic he wanted to address.

“Perhaps you should heed Giselle’s words rather than brush them aside.”  I tilt my head in confusion again.

“Huh?”  Solas stands with his hands behind his back as he looks out.

“She is a wise woman, one worth heeding.  Her kind understands the moments that unify a cause.  Or fracture it.” Now Solas turns his head to look at me.  “The orb Corypheus carried; the one he used against you. It is-”  I can’t stop myself from finishing his sentence.

“Elven.  The orb is elven.”  Solas is shocked into silence for a few moments.  He watches me closely, blinking a few times. He doesn’t look all that suspicious.  Mostly just shocked and maybe a little impressed.

“Yes.  How did you guess?”  He asks in a tone that makes it seem he wants to satisfy his own curiosity rather than grill me.

“I remember the design of it looked…”  I scratch my head, not sure how to describe it.  I can picture it fine in my mind, but the words won’t come out.  “I dunno just didn’t look like it was from Ancient Rome or anything similar to Tevinter.  Plus, you’re into ancient stuff, why else would you bring it up?” Solas seems satisfied by the answer.

“True.  Corypheus used the orb to open the Breech.  Unlocking it must have caused the explosion that destroyed the Conclave.  I do not yet know how Corypheus survived. Nor am I certain how people will react when they learn of the orbs origin.”  I shrug in agreement as I think about what he said. _He’s right.  If Thedas finds out Elven magic caused the Breach that might create another Exalted March.  I can’t save the world and fight the Church at the same time._

“So what’s this orb do?  How do you know about it?”

“I would ask you the same.”  As I frown at him, he smiles a little before explaining.  "They were foci. Used to channel ancient magics. I have seen such things in the Fade, old memories of older magic.  Corypheus may think it Tevinter. His empire’s magic was built on the bones of my people, just as your Rome was built on the ruins of Trojan men and legends of children raised by wolves.”  

 

_Wait what did he just say?  He just mentioned Troy and Romulus and Remus?  What?_

“Whoa whoa whoa, I never told you any of that!  Just how-”

“Your memories affect the spirits each time you dream.  Many are drawn to your otherworldly nature just as I have been.  Some of them have taken to exploring your knowledge. I learned from them.”   _Well… huh._

“That’s not going to be a problem, is it?”   _I really don’t want Fear or Despair demons using modern horror against me.  I do not want them to know about Dead Space._

“I do not think so.  The spirits explore out of curiosity.  None so have yet used the information for ill.  But as I was saying, knowing or not, he risks our alliance; I cannot allow it.”  I nod in agreement.

“From my time here I can see elves are an easy target.  That orb would only give racists more fuel for the fire.”

“History would agree.  But there are steps we can take to prevent such a distraction.”

“What kind of steps are those?

“You were able to find your way here to this valley, but the Inquisition cannot remain here.  I have learned of an old fortress that would suit your needs. I will give the information to Cassandra at once.”   _Sounds good.  I’m terrible with directions anyway._


	35. Faðir Valdyr

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> History lessons and bonding

I never thought it would happen, but I’m starting to get used to entering the Fade when I sleep.  It’s still so odd to be fully conscious while I’m dreaming. Or the knowledge that spirits are watching me all the time and absorbing my culture and technology.  I pray it doesn’t go wrong. The Inquisition hasn’t left the valley yet, but with Solas’ directions, we should be on our way to Skyhold soon.  _ Skyhold.  I’ll actually get to see a castle up close.  It’s still hard to process sometimes I got thrown into a medieval time period.  I’m now living like my ancestors did. _

Right now I’m not sure where I am in the Fade.  Despite my surroundings, I wear modern clothes; jeans, sneakers, a large hoodie.  The green mist swirls around me, morphing between a rocky coastline on a stormy night.  Rain pours down as thunder booms in the distance. I see a group of Vikings bring their boat to shore.  Once a man steps out, I’m sure of what I’m imagining. He’s a tall, broad man with red hair, some braids dangle on the side.  He wears leather armor and carries an axe on his belt. A second man joins at his side, but I can’t make out his features too clearly.  The rest of the crew are all Vikings without faces. Just featureless actors.  _ I wonder if spirits are playing out the epic and I get to watch?  Or am I just imagining all of this on my own? _  Another man, I assume to be the watchman for Hrothgar, comes down the road with a lantern and blade.  He stops in front of Beowulf, opens his mouth to speak, but then everything pauses.

 

I’ve done this long enough to know that means only two people could be interrupting.  Either Cole or Solas. And I seem to remember Cole not sleeping all that much and the answer is much more likely to be my elven teacher.  Ever since I showed him Disney World he hasn’t seen much of my world since. I can only imagine the news of a Roman General aiding a Tevinter Magister has his mind whirling with questions.  Sure enough, a taller figure stops to my left and peers at the scene before us.

“Howdy.”  I casually address Solas, who watches the Vikings with a keen eye.  He’s silent as he watches a few moments. The ‘actors’ still haven’t moved at all.  The elf gestured to them with his staff.

“What is all this?”  I can hear the wonder clearly in his voice.

“Just a dream I’m having.  I guess my mind is running through Beowulf.”  Now he turns his head to me, his eyes flickering with excitement.  He’s got that slight tilt to the head I’ve noticed he does when he asks questions.  Solas holds the staff in both hands and holds it close to himself. He doesn’t need to ask his question as I point out to the actor ‘playing’ Beowulf.  “Beowulf is one of the oldest stories in my world’s history. It was told orally for hundreds of years before it got written down. Since then there have been numerous translations of the story.  ‘Beo-wulf’ is a kenning for bear, or a wolf to bees, if I remember right.” Solas gives a few long nods.

“Are these your people?  What are they” I rapidly shake my head.  My hair is completely dry despite the pouring rain in the setting.

“If you mean by my world or ancestry, then yes, they would be.  Otherwise, no. These men are Vikings. Conquerors and explorers of the North.  They also created settlements in England and their language influenced what would become English.”

“English?  Is that what you call ‘Common’?”  I nod excitedly a few times.

“Yeah, it’s what I’m speaking now.  Though I know the modern version. I learned some older pronunciations from the Elizabethan era, -technically how you guys should be speaking- plus I can recite some older stuff from memory.”  At this, Solas’ face takes on a much more amused look.

“And how should I be speaking in your world?”  I kind of shrug, a little embarrassed I got ahead of myself.

“Well, where I come from, Thedas seems to be the same time period as my late Middle Ages or Renaissance.  The English I only know from plays that survived from that time period. You know, like-”

 

I barely even notice the scenery change around me.  No long are Solas and I standing on a Danish coast. Now we stand in an open theater, a recreation of The Globe- or was it the Rose?- I remember from an acting camp I went to one summer.  Solas now stands in the penny pincher section in front of me. Looking out into the empty seats, I’m able to fish through my brain to find a monologue I remember. Since there are hardly any people, my voice almost bounces around.  I don’t need to project as much, but it all comes back naturally once I start talking.

‘To be or not to be, that is the question.  

Whether ‘tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune

or take arms against a sea of troubles, and, by opposing end them? 

To die- to sleep- no more- and by a sleep to say we say we end the heartache and

thousand natural shocks that flesh is heir to.  ‘This a consummation devoutly to be wished. 

To die, to sleep, to sleep perchance to dream- ay, there’s the rub!  For in that sleep of death what dreams may come

when we have shuffled off this mortal coil must give us pause.

There’s the respect that makes calamity of so long life…”  I pause and trail off.

“And…  Uh…” I start tapping my foot as I fumble through my brain.  “Crud monkeys, I forgot the rest! Oh well.” I give Solas an exaggerated shrug as I swing my legs over the edge of the stage..  “You get my point.”

 

Solas looks a mixture of more amusement, curiosity, and impressed.

“I can see you weren’t lying about your skills.  You have a sharp mind, to have recited that from memory.”  I shove my hands in my pockets to attempt not to blush from the praise.

“T-Thanks.”

“I noticed you used an unusual pronunciation.  Almost similar to those in Starkhaven. Why did you choose to do that?”  I shrug again.

“One time I saw a video talking about how middle English was written and pronounced.  That’s why ‘Bee’ sounds more like ‘beh’ and ‘sleep’ sounds like ‘shleep’.” I scratch my head in embarrassment.  “I just thought it was cool when I was in High School.” He nods in agreement.

“I admit in my travels in distant memories I have not heard such pronunciations or language.  What I hear is-”  _ Probably in Ancient Elven?  _  “In the common tongue.  Didn’t you say you knew some of an older version of your language?”  He asks, obviously keen on more from me. My legs swing back and forth like a first grader’s.

“Only a teeny tiny bit.”  I pinch my thumb and pointer fingers together to emphasize.  I clear my throat and try to remember what my mom always quoted.  

“Whan that aprill with his shoures soote

The droghte of march hath perced to the roote, 

And bathed every veyne in swich licour 

Of which vertu engendred is the flour.”  When I stop, Solas is quiet for a few long moments, possibly expecting more.  When he sees I’m mum, he has a pleasant smile on his face.

“You know so little compared to the other?”

“I only know that because my mom had to learn it and quoted it sometimes.  I just recited a little from memory.”

 

The elf makes a silent ‘Ah’ in response.  Now I want to ask him questions.

“So I know you speak Common and I’ve heard you speak more fluent Elvish than I’ve heard from others.  Where’d you pick it up if it’s a dying language?” Solas leans against his staff and thinks before answering.

“In my travels, I have seen the world of the ancient elves.  Their language was easy to pick up. The Dalish have remembered some words and phrases, but with time their meaning becomes lost.”

“But doesn’t that mean the word takes on a new meaning?  That’s how languages evolve in the first place.” At this, he looks a little surprised.   _ Almost kind of like how he thinks the Elves have lost their true selves.  They’ve changed. That’s what cultures and societies do. Solas needs to learn to accept that. _

“Perhaps…”  He reluctantly agrees.

“Kind of like how ‘Nimrod’ in my culture originally referred to a hunter from Greek mythology, but after a cartoon used the title sarcastically, the meaning changed to mean ‘idiot’ because people didn’t catch the reference.”  At the word, mythology, he lights up again in curiosity.

 

“I admit, I am quite curious about the tales your world has.  You’ve said our histories are similar as well as our languages.  I would wonder if your world and mine share similar folktales? For example, what of Beowulf?”

“That one’s sort of a myth.  It’s kinda hard to tell nowadays since it’s got a heavy mix of Norse and Christian mythology.  I always felt it had something to do with the fact that Christian monks usually transcribed books in the early days.  Might explain why references to Thor or Odin became to God and Jesus. Or the fact that Grendel is considered evil because he’s a descendant of Cain rather than…  I dunno,” I hop down from the stage to join Solas on the ground. “A troll or something.”

Solas’ eyebrow tilts up in curiosity again.

“Norse?”  He repeats.  “Who is this ‘Thor?”

“He’s the god of Thunder.  Big guy, red hair, Blackwall level of beard.  Carries a hammer with a short handle called ‘Mjolnir’.  Generally, he runs around on misadventures with Loki most of the time.  Or another he found a giant keg of mead with Tyr. Pretty fun god.” Solas quickly begins to follow me as I ascend the steps out of the theater.

“Who is Loki?”   _ Oh boy!  I get to explain alternate Solas to himself!  Cool! _

“He’s the Norse god of Fire and Lies.  He usually gets into trouble or might make life difficult by stealing Thor’s hammer.  But at the end of the day, it’s always Loki who fixes the god’s problems. I’ve always liked him.  He’s an interesting character.” I have Solas’ full attention now.

“Oh?”  He says, not hiding his interest.  “How so?”

 

“Well, there’s my favorite myth about how he and Thor have to cross-dress to have Thor pretend to be Freya, the goddess of Beauty, in order to get Thor’s hammer back.  It only works because Loki comes up with explanations as to why Freya eats a whole boar or downs an entire keg. The Jutons completely buy it. When Thor gets Mjolnir, he smashes every last one of them.  And then Loki has some… interesting offspring.” Solas and I have stopped when we reach the highest row of seats. I can’t see any exit from here.

“Well, now you have my curiosity.”

“One’s a horse with eight legs- or was it six?  I forgot- and he actually gave birth in the form of a mare, if you’ll believe it.  Another daughter he sired is half human, half skeleton. Hel runs the underworld, where souls of the dead go.  Then there’s Jurmononder, the world serpent. It’s so large it fits around the world and can bite his tail. That’s what keeps the oceans in place.  Then there’s Vali and another kid, both are normal. And oh! He also sired a giant wolf.” 

 

At this, Solas looks quite surprised.

“A wolf?”

“Yep.  Fenrir or the Fenris wolf.  His jaw is so large he can fit the sun in his mouth and darken the sky when Ragnarok comes.”  At this, Solas has stopped dead in his tracks. I can only imagine it’s because of the similarities to his alter ego.  “What’s a matter?” After a few moments, Solas clears his throat.

“I admit, while I thought there would be similarities, I never thought they would be that close.  This Loki and his children seem to have aspects to one of the Dalish gods. Fenrir in particular.”  I nod along with him, pretending I didn’t already know that part.

“That’d be Fen’Harel, right?”  Solas gives a small nod.

“You would be correct.”

“So what about this ‘Dread Wolf’ was so dreadful?  Doesn’t every mythology have a trickster character?”

“True,”  Solas begins as he starts manipulating the Fade around us more than I ever could.  In a few seconds, we’re no longer standing in a wooden theater. Now we’re in a forest.  The leaves of the trees are a bright green. The sunlight dipping through the canopies almost makes everything golden.  “But the Dalish are quick to vilify him. Fen’Harel is much more complex than a villain in folk tales.” He almost sounds disgusted as I begin to follow him through the underbrush.  I can imagine since he’s actually talking about himself.

“So then tell me about him.”  He sighs and grumbles but makes no reply.  “Come on! I told you about my stuff! Please?”

“I do not know many legends,”  Solas says as he briskly moves, almost like he’s trying to run from the topic at hand.

“But you’ve got to have seen or heard something!  Pleeeeease! I’ll stop asking if you tell me! Just one thing, Solas, come on!”  I can see his face contort as he thinks it over.

“Fen’Harel was a man.”  He says with a slight smirk as he continues.  I have to almost jog after him.

“Man, I need more than that!”

“You said one thing,”  I growl in frustration at him.

“You’re no fun today!  Solas, please, just give me something!”

“Fen’Harel was a powerful mage and had an affinity for the Fade and it’s creatures.”  I have to smile to myself as I walk backward to look at him.

“So like you, then?”  At the comparison, Solas stops dead in his tracks and looks like he got struck by lightning.  I can’t help but snicker a bit at his reaction. The elven mage scowls a little at me, more like a disapproving parent rather than truly angry.

 

“Perhaps…”  He finally says as his eyebrows lower a bit.  I can’t stop smirking. “Find something funny, da’len?”  

“Just your face,  **Dad** .”  At this, Solas looks shocked once again.

“W-What was that?”  He asks, but I don’t quite answer him immediately.  While the Dread Wolf looks ahead with wide eyes and a slightly slack jaw, I’m able to nick the staff from his hands while he doesn’t pay attention.  The second I hold the stick behind my back, he definitely looks like a disapproving parent.

“Catherine, give me back my staff.”  I shake my head back and forth in an exaggerated manner.

“Not until you tell me something more about Fen’Harel.”  Now he starts tapping his foot as he holds out his hand.

“My staff, please.”  
“But Daaad!”  Calling him that makes his face twitch.  It’s beautiful. I love it. I keep laughing at him.  He only rolls his eyes and snorts.

“I am not your father.  You should not refer to me as-”

“Well, you keep calling me ‘child’ so that makes you my Dad, right?  Right?” He gives no reply other than a look. “Right??” He pinches the bridge of his nose as he exhales.

“I admit I may have been too casual with you.  I did not know I was doing that.”

“Pfft, you’ve said it, what, like five times?”  I smirk at him as I start holding the staff like he usually does.  “Pops.” He frowns, but I can see I might be starting to get to him.

“No.”

“My old man.”  He really frowns at that.

“No!”

“Myser.”

“Absolutely not!”

“Babae.”  I call him in Elvish.  I can see his ears start to go red in embarrassment.  After a second, I see a mischevious glimmer in his eyes.  His left-hand raises and glows a bright orange. His staff in my hands does as well.  Suddenly, I can feel the wood starting to get warmer. What’s he doing? Wait, this is getting hot.  A little too hot. “OW!” I yelp as I drop the wood. It felt like touching a hot stove. My hands are unburnt, but they sting.  Solas, meanwhile, catches the staff before it hits the ground and begins to leave me in the dust.

“That’s cheating!”  I call after him. “No fair!”

“It’s perfectly fair, da fen.”  He calls over his shoulder.

“Nu uh!  I can’t do that!”

“And I cannot turn into other beings.”  Solas hasn’t turned around as I march to catch up to him.  I frown and start mimicking his voice to annoy him.

“And I cannot turn into other beings.”  He tries not to rise to my bait.

“Stop that.”

“Stop that.”

“I mean it!”  I smirk back at him.

“I mean it.”  He rolls his eyes in a huff, but there seems to be a little part of him trying not to laugh.

“Ma ane a harathe da’lin.”  He grumbles under his breath at me.  I frown at him again, going back to my voice.

“Stop cheating, Solas!  I don’t speak Elvish!”

“I was not cheating.”

“Yes, you were!”

“I was not.”

“Ya huh.”

“No.”

“Yeeeeeah you did.”  I can see him start to smile.

“Nooooo I didn’t.”  He playfully repeats.

“You’re a terrible father.”

“I am not your father.”  He snorts. I cross my arms at him.

“Too late.  You're my dad now.  Nothing you can do about it.”  He slightly chuckles to himself.

“You’re an adult, you can take care of yourself.”

“I’m an adult?”  I exclaim sarcastically.  “Why did no one tell me? I thought I was a tall five-year-old!”

“You are certainly acting like one at the moment.”  I give him a fake smile.

“Love you too, Pop.”  Once again, he rolls his eyes so hard they might fall out of his head.  I smirk and lean against him. “I loooove you, Dad!”

Solas just lightly pushes me off him with an elbow and shakes his head as we continue down the path.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ma ane a harathe da’lin = You are a dreadful child.


	36. Promotion

“By attacking the Inquisition, Corypheus has changed it.  Changed you. The Advisors may have an idea where you need to go, but you must scout ahead.  Go to the North. Be their guide. There is a place that waits for a force to hold it. There is a place where the Inquisition can build.  Grow.” Is the last thing Solas told me in the Fade. Now, we all march north on his word. We’re getting higher into the Frostbacks now. The sky is a light pink color in the early dawn.  I can see some birds soaring in the thermals above us. _If it wasn’t so cold, it might have been breathtaking._

Solas, after a time, tilts his head to follow him.  He guides me to a rocky ledge, offering his hand to help me up.  We both look out across the ravine to gaze upon it. An abandoned fortress, barely any decay, standing strong in it’s hiding place.  I start to fumble back from the ledge after I glance down at the bottomless pit below. The elf places a hand on my shoulder to steady me.

“Skyhold.”  I can only nod and gape at it. _It just hit me I’m looking at it in real life.  Not on a computer screen. It’s there. And it’ll be mine.  That feels so strange. I guess this means I’m actually going to be named Inquisitor, probably._   _I don’t want to think about that.  About the stress of leading. I don’t feel meant for that.  I hate being in charge. I want to stay in the background and help in little ways.  I don’t want to be a figurehead._

“That’s some model.”  I eventually say as I keep staring out at it.  I see, out of the corner of my eye, Solas gives me a look.

“Sshh!”  He hisses.  I smile at him.

“I guess there’s only one thing to do then…”  I say while pointing dramatically at the castle.  By now some of the companions and advisors are watching and gazing too.  “Let us ride to… Camelot!” I frown at the silence after my joke. Everyone just stares at me.  There’s no song playing. Just the sound of wind and snow. I lower my hand and start to shamble off the rocks.

“It’s funnier in the movie…”

* * *

 

In just a few days, almost all our carts have been unpacked.  Soldiers and workers continuing to flow in and out with crates and supplies.  Some of the shopkeepers have already begun to set up. Repairs to the main hall, barracks, and tavern are already underway.  The mages who elected to stay have been helping the workers, using their magic to lift heavy stones and keep scaffolding in place.  Because of their help, things seem to be going a lot quicker than in the game. Who knows? Maybe by next week, this place won’t look like it’s on ‘Flip that House’ anymore.  In order to stay out of the way, I watch everything from the ramparts. The wind up here is nice. No one’s around to bother me. And since there’s so ceiling, I don’t freak out at how high up I am.

Out of boredom, I start experimenting with my new abilities.  All I’ve done so far is change into other characters or throw my voice.  I wonder what else I can do? I know in the Fade, things are made by will, like how I could wear my normal clothes.  And what other character do I know better than myself? I hope this works because this armor I’m wearing is uncomfortable and heavy.  Plus, do I want to wear those pajamas? No, no I do not. Starting small, I focus my energy to change my boots into… I dunno? Flip flops, I guess?  After a few seconds and a tingle around my feet, I’m wearing a pair of old black sandals. I wiggle my toes around. _I can’t feel the confines of the boots anymore.  Am I even still technically wearing them?_  To test this, I kick the shoes off my feet.  I can feel the stone of the ramparts. _It’s cold and feels dirty.  Blech._  As soon as I change back into myself, my boots are on again.

The flip-flops, to my delight, remain.   _So if I take off my clothes after I shift, they stay?  I could finally change out of this armor! I can have my old wardrobe back!  I can wear regular underwear again! I could wear whatever I want! Best. Day.  Ever!_  I stick out my tongue as I concentrate and the sandals eventually vanish into a golden sparkle.   _Works for me!_  I think as I giddily start to bolt down the stairs to find someplace unoccupied.

 

I almost kick the door down I’m so excited.  I finally get to wear leggings again! The feeling of wearing a t-shirt again is amazing.   _It’s hard to believe it’s been, what, a few months at least that I’ve been here.  To think I almost got used to that scratchy medieval get up._  I’ve perched a pair of sunglasses on my nose.  I feel giddy as I almost skip up the steps to the ramparts again.  I haven’t touched my ipod in so long, and thankfully the battery is still full.  For the first time in so long, I can finally listen to something other than Maryden.  I hit shuffle and so thankful no one’s up here to see my dancing as I grin and lipsync along.

 **‘** **As we danced in the night**

**Remember how the stars stole the night away**

**Hey hey hey**

**Ba de ya, say do you remember**

**Ba de ya, dancing in September**

**Ba de ya, never was a cloudy day’**  I clap along to the beat and try twirling on my toes in time with the guitar but I stumble and almost trip.

**‘Ba duda, ba duda, ba duda, badu**

**Ba duda, badu, ba duda, badu**

**Ba duda, badu, ba duda**

**My thoughts are with you**

**Holding hands with your heart to see you**

**Only blue talk and love**

**Remember-’**

Suddenly, the earbuds get yanked out of my head.  One hand flies to my ear as the other put my sunglasses on my head.  I whip around to see Cullen holding them in a gloved hand, looking grouchily down at me.

“Just what are you doing?”  He does not sound happy. I frown at him as I take back my earbuds.

“I **was** trying to have a little fun,”  I grumble as I pause the song. Cullen just snorts and glares at me.

“And I was attemptting to check our fortifications until I happened to see you… prancing about in that…”  He gestures his hands at me. “Whatever you would call that!” I raise an eyebrow and lean against the wall.

“They’re called ‘pants’.  I’m sure you’ve heard of them.”  He does not like this answer.

“If that strange, tight, cloth is what you call trousers, then I’m a member of Antivan royalty.”   _Wait, Cullen was behind me.  How long was he behind me? And this shirt doesn’t cover my butt.  Does that mean he was looking? He does look a little more red than usual.  Ew. Cullen saw my butt. Ew. Ew! EW!_

“Alright, listen buddy.  If you were checking the ramparts, you could’ve just- I dunno- gone around me?  Left me alone?” He looks so mad like he’s about to boil. The Commander leans closer so he’s right in my face.

“I cannot have some witch stalk around Skyhold dressed like a s-”

“If you finish that, I am going to clock you!”  I growl at him before he can finish the phrase. “So you think I’m a witch?  I’ll give you witch!” I’m practically fuming as I take a few steps back, morphing quickly into a certain someone.  Cullen looks like he’s about to collapse, his eyes are bugging out of his head so hard.

“Well, well, what have we here?”  Claudia Black’s voice comes out as a purr.  I place a finger to my check and look at the Commander slyly.  It’s honestly kind of fun watching him squirm. Now I start to circle him like a hawk, indulging myself perhaps a little too much.  “Are you a vulture, I wonder? A scavenger picking amidst a corpse whose bones were long since cleaned? Or merely an intruder, come into this empty fortress in search of easy loot?”

Cullen has taken a fighting stance as I move to stand in front of him, hands on my hips and looking up from my eyelashes.  It’s quite easy to tell I have him struck. Especially since he glances down at my open robe every so often. The black, leather skirt clings to my hips.  I’ve never been able to wear boots that go up to my thighs. I’ve never even had the courage to basically walk around in a bra like Morrigan. It’s liberating.

“What say you, hm?”  I ask at Cullen slack-jawed reaction.  “Scavenger or intruder?” Now my Commander finally finds his voice.

“Neither!  It was your scouting that found this place!  Enough of this witchcraft! You will stop this at once!”  I give Morrigan’s little laugh she does. It makes Curly mad.

“Oooh!  You fear me a barbarian, do you?  You fear I will swoop upon you in the night and take your children?”

“Your magic can only be witchcraft.  You’re just like the rest of your ilk from the Wilds!  You must come from there. Your claims about another world must have been a cover for you.”  He growls as his eyebrows knit together. _Way to jump to conclusions there._  I instead, play along.

“Witch of the Wilds?  Such idle fancies, those legends.  Have you no mind of your own?” As Cullen starts blubbering for an answer, the rest of the advisors round the corner to find us.  Each of them peer at him and I with a strange look. Leliana seems much more amused once she sees the form I’m in.

“What is going on here?”  Cassandra sounds much less than pleased.  Before Cullen can get a word in, I speak up.  I start walking back and forth in the tiny space, my heels echoing as I do.

“I was just showing our Commander here what a witch looks like.  Since he thinks I am one.” The three other women turn to him.

“Is this true?”  Josie asks him. Cullen can only mumble a quiet:

“Well, I-”

“And that wasn’t the only thing!”  I continue, wanting to get him in trouble.  “Oh, no no no. Let’s see, I believe I cut you off before you finished.  What was it you were going to call me?”

Cullen hangs his head.

“Come now, I’m sure we’d all love to hear it.”  I can see Cullen grit his teeth as he speaks.

“Our Inquisitor,”  He says the title bitterly,  “Was marching around dressed provocatively- like a harlot!”

“Don’t go changing on me!  You were about to say ‘slut’!”  I see all three of them glare at him.  Josie actually wacks him in the chest with her clipboard.  It doesn’t break and there’s a metallic thump as she does so.

“How dare you say such a thing!”

“You didn’t see what she was wearing!”  Now I glare at him again, starting to yell.

“I was wearing clothes you empty-headed animal food trough wiper!  It doesn’t matter what I have on, I am not a slut, you misogynistic ramen noodle-headed buffon!”

 

Now Cullen turns to the rest of the glaring advisors.

“I told you we shouldn’t have promoted her!  You see the kind of person she is! This woman is not the figurehead for the Inquisition!”  He grouches. Cassandra steps forward to cut him off.

“You are acting unfitting as our Commander.  You were outvoted on the subject. It is done.  Catherine shall lead us whether you like it or not.”  She now prods him in the chest. “Cullen, please,” She speaks more gently.  “You are getting worse. You are stressed and exhausted; this is not good for your health.  You need to-”

“I am fine!”  He snaps at her as he walks away.  “I will be in my office…” The Commander says as he departs.

 

Now the four of us are left on a windy wall overlooking the main steps of the castle.  Josephine, as usual, is the first to recover.

“Are you alright, your Worship?”  I sigh and bite my check as I fold my arms and slouch.

“Just annoyed.  Very, very annoyed.”  I throw my hands up. “Why is it always me?!  What in God’s name did I do?!”

“Well, you did antagonize him, for one,”  Leliana says, a slight smirk in her eyes as she looks at me.  “You had a very genuine performance.” Now Josie gives a slightly disapproving look to Leliana.

“We cannot encourage her to do things like this!  Think of our allies!” Now Leliana has to laugh.

“I don’t know, I think she could do wonders in Orlais.  You’d have the Empress eating out of your hand, Inquisitor.”

 

_Hang on!_

“What?!”  I squeak in the same inflecting Morrigan had when Flemeth told her she’d be leaving.  “What did you just say?” Now they each look at each other for a few quiet moments. I’m so shocked I’m myself again.  The sunglasses I was wearing drop to the ground.

“Cassandra, I believe you agreed to tell her?”  Josephine asks. The Seeker nods a couple times.

“Perhaps we should walk…”  She says to me, beckoning me to join her.  Lelana and Josie give us a quick nod/bow.

“We shall begin preparations for the ceremony at once.”  The Spymistress informs.

“But what about Cu-”  Josie begins to argue, but Leliana interrupts.

“You can do that part, can you not?  It is just one line, similar to your first.  We can pull this off smoothly.”

* * *

 

I tug incessantly at the tunic Cassandra tossed at me.   _I hate these long sleeves!  I hate wearing white! No more t-shirt.  No more sandals. At least I got to keep my leggings.  But these boots feel stiff! But the upside is I’m basically cosplaying Link.  That’s a plus. Maybe it was done on purpose?_  She sees me glance around at some of the people entering Skyhold in droves.  I can see some of them run up to others they know, spinning around in a gleeful hug.

“They arrive daily from every settlement in the region.”  She explains as we take the long way to the castle entrance.  “It seems Skyhold is becoming a pilgrimage. If word has reached these people, it will have reached the Elder One and Ceaser.  We have the walls and numbers to put up a fight here, but the threat of both Templars and a Roman legion is much more than the war we anticipated.”  We both climb a steep set of stairs before she stops. All this walking and talking has me nearly winded.

“And now we know what allowed you to stand against Corypheus.  What drew him to you.” I have to slightly frown at that.

“He only came after me because I stole the Anchor.  And interrupted his ritual, somehow. And because I took his mage army.”

“Perhaps in more ways than we’ve considered.”  She seemingly agrees as we begin to move on. “Your decision let us heal the sky.  Your knowledge and advice have saved our people from Haven. Your determination has led us here.”

 

And now we start ascending the steps to the castle.  To where Leliana awaits on the landing. She holds a ceremonial sword.   _This is that cutscene._

_I’m getting promoted._

“You are the creature’s rival because of what you did, and we know it.  All of us.” As we approach Leliana, I’m stuck in shock. I can’t move past the top step.  Cassandra notices and turns. I can only gaze up at her silently. “The Inquisition requires a leader.”  She places a hand on my shoulder and guides me to Leliana.

“The one who has already been leading it.”  I hear the noise of the gathering crowd. Everyone stands and watches me.  Hundreds of people. I cannot see any companions down there. Only Josephine stands in the front.  Cullen is M.I.A.

“I…  I… Huh?”  I can only gasp.  “Why? I have no experience leading this kind of group.  I have no political knowledge or anything about the workings of your world.  I’m someone the Chantry wants to burn and who people think is a demon. You really, really want me in charge?”  Both Cassandra and Leliana nod. The woman in purple holds out the sword for me to take. It’s a rapier that glitters gold in the sunlight.

“That is why we are here,”  Leliana speaks. “You have advisors and your companions.  You will not make your decisions alone. You have knowledge no one else has.  Without you, we would not be here.” The sword is moved closer to me.

“Please do not make me regret this,”  Cassandra adds as my hand hovers near the hilt.  I retract it.

“But why not you?  Why me?”

“Because I believe this is how it was meant to be.  Without you, there would be no Inquisition. What it means for the future, how you lead us, is up to you now.”

 

Slowly, I pick up the blade.  It’s light in my hand but still quivers all the same.  I hold it in front of me, but can’t stop gaping at my reflection.  I can’t bring any words out. I can’t think of anything original to say.

“Go on,”  Cassandra nudges me.  “They want you to speak.”

 

“Uhh…”  My voice rings out like I’m speaking into a megaphone.  “Hi there…” I hear a tiny echo of laughter or some awkward coughs.

“Just a few days ago, Haven was destroyed by the thing that created the Breach.  Together, we sealed it with help from the Free Mages. And from all of you that have come together to fix the chaos that we face.”  I’m starting to blank and fumble for words again, but then I decide to stick with my guns and just start quoting stuff. “After this, mankind will have a different meaning.  You all have come from different countries, backgrounds, beliefs, all because you believe in a common goal. We can’t be consumed by petty differences anymore. We are united in our common interests; in the Inquisition.  My people celebrate the fourth of July as a day of freedom. And now we will fight for our freedom, not from tyranny, oppression, or persecution- but from annihilation!” I’m starting to grow bolder as I talk, as I grow louder and more into it.

“We’re fighting for our right to live- to exist.  And should we win, the fourth of July won’t just be an American holiday, but the day when we declared in one voice:  “We will not go quietly into the night! We will not vanish without a fight! We’re going to live on! We’re going to survive!  We are going to fight this darkspawn with everything we’ve got! He may take our lives, he may take our lands, but he will never take our freedom!  I know the thought of dying on a battlefield scares you. I see in your eyes the same fear that would take the heart of me. A day may come when the courage of men fails, when we forsake our friends and break all bonds of fellowship,  but it is not this day. An hour of wolves and shattered shields, when the age of men comes crashing down, but it is not this day! This day we fight!! By all that you hold dear on this good Earth, the Inquisition will fight for all of us!”  I throw the sword up as high as I can and all the people below me whoop and holler. Cassandra steps beside me as I lower the blade. _I got a little too into it._

“Have the people been told?”  The Seeker calls out to Josie.  She answers from the crowd, standing at the font, almost in front of me.

“They have!  And soon, the world!”

“Will they follow?”  Now Josie turns to take up Cullen’s line, shouting into the crowd.

“Inquisition!  Will you follow?”  The crowd yells again, throwing their fists up.  “Will you fight?” Again, and louder. Now Cassandra booms over the roar.

“Will we triumph?!”  The sound rings in my ears and I can barely hear Cassandra as she grabs my right arm and pulls it up.  “Your leader! Your Herald! Your Inquisitor!”

They go absolutely bonkers.  I can see Cassandra grinning at me.  Josie yells out in the crowd. Leliana has a more subdued smile.  As the crowd keeps going wild, my arm is lowered and I’m ushered in with the Seeker and Leliana.

 

* * *

 

The main hall is still a mess.  As I walk in I twist my head around to gaze upward.  It looks like a hurricane blew in here.

“So this is where the magic happens?”  I gawk as I walk further inward.

“It started in the courtyard.”  Leliana supplies. “This is where we turn that promise into action.”

“But what do we do?”  Josie asks, her voice bouncing around the empty main hall.  “We know nothing about this Corypheus except that he wanted the mark."

“So is he allied with Tevinter?  Will we be facing an invasion?” Cassandra asks all three of us.  I shake my head.

“I don’t think so?  He seems more like an extremist.”

“Tevinter is not the Imperium it was a thousand years ago.  What Corypheus yearns to restore no longer exists.” _Just like Solas.  The Elves aren’t the same empire he knew.  What he wants isn’t possible._  “But are we safe here?  Can we withstand another attack?”  Cassandra tries to calm her fears.

“Skyhold should be able to withstand an attack.  It is unlikely he would attack us directly again.”  

 

Leliana now steps forward.

“But we have the advantage of knowing what he plans to do, yes?  You mentioned the Empress was assassinated. The chaos her death would cause…

“With the chaos that causes, along with a demon and Roman army behind him he could take the entire South, god or no god,”  Cassandra grumbles. “I’d feel better if we knew what we were dealing with.”

“I, uh, might know someone who can help with that.”  It’s Varric, who’s sauntering over the broken bits of wood towards us.  “Dots being all inspirational jogged my memory. So, I’ve sent a message to an old friend.  He’s crossed paths with Corpy before and might know more about this guy.” Each of us watches Varric.  He looks a tad nervous. I know why.

“Think you could introduce me?”  Varric glances over his shoulder and shrugs.

“Eh, I think parading around will cause a fuss.  It’ll be better to meet privately when he gets here in a week.  Trust me,” He turns around and begins to leave. “It’s complicated.”

_Just a little bit._


	37. Find Me No Find

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I just want to say thank you to all who've left comments and kudos and read this story. It really means a lot to me. When I started this I had no idea I'd get this far. I couldn't have done it without your support. :D

It’s been a week already.  People are starting to fall into a routine here.  Until Hawke arrives- any day now- the advisors have put a war meeting on hold until we learn whatever information he has.  I honestly don’t know if he even knows anything. I never bought the DLC with Corphy. I only learned about him from Inquisition.  The only reason Hawke knew when I played is because the Dragon Age: Keep assumed I played it. There was no option to say no.

I lay on this four poster bed in my quarters and stare at the tall ceiling.  This room is just… so big. So tall. So empty. Leliana and Josephine insisted I take it; that I am the Inquisitor.  I feel like a princess stuck at the top of a tower. I really would’ve preferred one of the smaller rooms near the garden.  Maybe I should’ve insisted Cassandra become Inquisitor instead of me? I continue huffing as I absently move my hand to where my cat usually sleeps.  But the sheets to the left of my head is empty. My chest hurts. I miss my cats so much. They were always there for me. Rose and Ila would always sleep with me at night, greet me when I got home, cuddle with me when I was sad or sick.  Now I feel so alone in this room. I grab a throw pillow and hug it to my chest tightly. It only helps a little bit, but not much.  _  I remember Cole had a dialogue about crushing mint to make cats act goofy.  Maybe he knows where some kitties are I can pet? _

 

There’s a knock at my door and a pair of light footsteps clicks up the small set of stairs.  The elven woman who woke me up at Haven pops up over the brick wall that blocks the stairs. I turn my head to look at her.  She stops at the top of the stairs and gives me a deep bow.

“The Ambassador wishes to speak with you this morning, your Ladyship.”  I crinkle my nose at the title. I push what would have been a snarky comment out as a puff of air that blows my bangs.

“‘Mmkeydokey,”  I grumble out. The servant stares at me with confusion.  “That’s a yes. I’ll be down in a sec.” I reluctantly let go of my pillow and haul myself upright and swing my feet over the side.  The servant nods and exists as quickly as she came. I honestly don’t like the idea of servants. They aren’t really paid a living wage and have to bow and kowtow to so many nobles.  _  I swear, if someone insists on me getting handmaidens or something, someone will die.  I don’t need a gaggle following me around like ducks. _

* * *

 

The second I walk through the door to the Ambassador's sanctuary, she’s already talking shop with Leliana, who’s leaning against the desk as the two friends talk.

“I’ve already been able to make some inquiries into the Imperial Court.  The sooner we deal with the threat to the Empress, the better. The political situation in the empire is dangerously unstable.  It will complicate matters.”

“Everything in the Empire complicates matters,”  Cullen says, stomping out of the war room and slinking to a part of the wall far away from me.  He glares at me the entire time he does so. He hasn’t spoken to me at all since his outburst on the wall.  I feel a strong urge to smack him, but I’m a little too short at the moment. “It’s the Orleasan national pastime.”

“Turn your nose up at the Grand Game if you like, Commander, but we play for the highest stakes.”  Leliana spits venomously at the Ferelden, who looks like he’s about to jump out of his skin at her tone.  “And to the death.”

_ I’ve never liked the Grand Game.  It seems overly pompous and ridiculous.  Killing people for political power or ridiculing them, poison, you name it, and they treat it like it’s a joke told over tea.  Stupid idiot French nobles. This medieval stuff grinds my gears. Screw the upper class! _

“The court’s disapproval can be as great a threat as the Venatori.  We must be vigilant if we are to avert disaster.” Finally, I get the courage to walk into the room and speak.

“And how’s that more dangerous than a dragon that tried to eat me?”  Both Leliana and Josie nod to me. Cullen does his best impression of the suit of armor besides him and stares ahead.  Josie addresses my question as she begins to explain.

“The Empress is in the middle of a civil war.”   _ Why is it called a ‘Civil’ anyway?  It’s not like these nobles are walking up to each other like:  ‘May I kill you please?’ ‘Sure!’ _  “Her cousin, Grand Duke Gaspard, seeks to take the throne by force.  Leliana’s reports indicate a group of elves has been sabotaging both armies, drawing out the hostilities.  Orlais holds Tevinter at bay. All of Thedas could be lost if the Empire falls to Corypheus. In as little as four months, Celene will be holding peace talks under the auspices of a New Year’s Grand Masquerade.  Every power in Orlais will be there. The perfect place for an assassin to hide.”

“A ball, huh?”  I start talking aloud to myself.  “Oh darn, I don’t have a thing to wear.”  Josie has a smile on her face. Leliana is the only one who laughs at my sarcasm.  

“We shall take care of that soon enough, Inquisitor.”   _ I don’t like the sound of that… _  In the background, Cullen gives a ‘Humph!’ and quickly makes his escape.  After he does so, Josephine rises from her desk, holding a stack of envelopes bound together with string.  I blankly watch in confusion until my Ambassador puts them in my arms. I glance up and down to her and Leliana and the envelopes a few times.  

“Soooo, what am I holding?”  The top envelope has ‘To her Worship, the Inquisitor’ written on it in black calligraphy.  Both older women share a knowing look and smile at me. Josephine is the first to speak.

“Ever since we spread word of what you have accomplished, many nobles and their relatives have been sending various letters of proposal to you, Catherine.”  My eyebrows furrow closer to my eyes.

“Proposal?  Like, a business merger?  An alliance? How come these are for me?  I thought this was your thing?” Leliana nudges Josie with a knowing smile.

“I  **told** you she wouldn’t understand.”  Leliana turns to me now, still smiling.  “If you like, it is a form of alliance, but more to ally us with noble families rather than a nation.”  I’m still confused.

“But why I am the recipient?  I don’t get it.” I just feel more and denser as they keep looking at each other.

“These are proposals of marriage, Catherine.”

 

I nearly drop the letters on the floor.   _ W-Wh-What?!  Marriage? Me?  Nobels? Marriage??? _

“Uhhhhhh…”  I can’t think of anything to say.  Just confusion swirls in my mind.  _ Why in the heck do these fops want to… to marry?  Me?? _  Leliana seems to be finding a lot to smile at today.  Even Josie keeps trying to hide a small smile.  _  Ever the polite lady. _

“Unfortunately, because we do not know your preferences, I wasn’t able to sort through them.”  I blink again.

“Perf… erences?”

“What you look for in a partner.”  Josie supplies. I frown again.

“Partner in what?”  Now it’s Leliana’s turn.

“What kind of person you’re attracted to.”  _  Now I’ve really blanked.  I keep forgetting that attraction is a thing.  And that people talk about it. I have no clue how to explain my situation.  Most people don’t believe me. _  I give a nervous laugh.

“Yeah, about that…  I don’t really, uh, care?”  Both smile and nod. Josie looks relieved.

“Thank the Maker I didn’t sort them then.”   _ Wait… No!  No no no no no!  Wrong one! Wrong one! _

“No, not ‘I don’t care’ like, I like everything.  It’s kinda… the opposite?” Now they each look surprised in a second.  Leliana’s eyebrows have gone much higher.

“The opposite?”  She asks.

“I’m not attracted to anything.”

“Nothing?”

“Nothing at all.”

 

Now Josie sighs and recomposes herself.

“In that case, I suppose I have some rejections to write.  Gaspard will not be pleased with this…” Now my eyebrows have shot upward.

“Whoa whoa whoa, Gaspard is in here?!”  Josephine nods.

“Yes, the Grand Duke has been desperate, but I didn’t think he was this desperate,”  Lelana smirks as she taps the top letter.

“He even offers to make you his Empress once he assumes the throne.”  Wait, he-

“What?!”  I almost perfectly imitate a pterodactyl.  “Aw, hell no!” It echoes around the room and probably all of Skyhold.  I spin on my heel to stalk out. Leliana calls after me.

“Where are you going?”

“I’m going to find Cass!  I need to hit something!”

 

* * *

 

I find Cassandra sitting on a stump by the training dummies.  I throw the letters on the ground and lie face down in the grass beside her.  I hear the book close and she takes a few moments to speak.

“Is there… something I can help you with?”  I turn my head to the right so I’m not mumbling into the grass.

“Do you have anything I can hit?”  I can barely see her face from down here, but I see her looking at me perplexed.  After her eyes dart to the stack I brought with me her eyes widen in understanding.

“I see you found the letters, then.”

“Yeep.”  I pop the ‘P’ as much as I can from down here.  As I hear her armor clink as she stands, I push myself up into a sitting position.  When Cassandra returns, she holds a training sword. Once I stand and dust myself off, she tosses it to me.  Thankfully, I catch it. She points to a dummy beside her before sitting back down and opening her book.

 

I just start swinging left and right, trying to make some kind of dent in this straw thing.   _ Stupid nobles!  Thinking I’m just a tool to use for political gain!  I’m not even a person to these guys! Just some dumb girl for making babies and strengthening their bloodlines.  Gaspard only wants my army and support. He thinks I have any kind of political greed he can appeal to. No way do I want an empire.  It! Makes! Me! Sick! _  I barely have any stamina in my normal form, so after about half a minute I’m winded.  I toss the sword and it sticks in the dirt. I plunk back down to my original position on the dirt by Cassandra’s stump.  I hear her laugh to herself as a page turns.

“What’s so funny?”  She looks a little startled and shuts the book quickly.

“Nothing, I was just thinking, I did the same thing when I was younger and my uncle tried to marry me off.  I had no mind for such a life.”

“Same.”  I echo. The Seeker seems a bit confused at the language but smiles to herself.  “So, what’cha reading?” Now she looks like I caught her in the cookie jar.

“I… don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“So there’s definitely not a book in your lap.”  She glances down briefly.

“Oh, that.  Just…” She fumbles to think of a lie.  “Reports! From the Commander.” I have to smirk as I glance at the back cover.  There’s an illustration of Varric smack dab in the middle. Chest hair in all its glory.

“Does Varric stamp his portrait on the back of all our reports?”  She sighs to herself. “You’re a pretty bad liar, Cass.” 

“It’s of no interest to you, I’m certain.”  I bat my eyelashes at her.

“Pretty pleeeeeese?”  I hear her give a soft ‘Uggh.’

“It’s a book.”  She says, flipping it over in her lap.  “One of Varric’s tales.  _ Swords & Shields. _  The latest chapter.”

“Oh, ok!  So you read them?  You’re up to date?”

“Not… since this began.  We’ve been busy.”

Meanwhile, Dorian strolls by.  I didn’t see him when I stomped over here.  Maybe he’s exploring? Checking out the fort?  My soldiers?

“That’s just her favorite.”  He says as he walks by, pointing to the book in the Seeker’s hand.  Cass points at him with a slight pout in her voice.

“Nobody asked you, Tevinter.”  She doesn’t sound too upset. He only laughs to himself as he keeps going.

“I couldn’t finish the last one you lent me.  I actually feel dumber for having tried.” I see Cassandra frown as Dorian walks away.  Eventually, she sighs and gives up.

“It’s literature.”  She admits to me. “Smutty literature.”  Now she gets closer, almost begging me.

“Whatever you do, don’t tell Varric!”  I glance over my shoulder to his usual haunt.   _ Reminds me of how whenever I played this part I immediately run and blab.  I’m so gonna tell Varric you have no idea. _

“Pfft!  Me? Tell Varric?  Naaaah!” Cassandra doesn’t make any remark at my sarcasm.

“They’re terrible.  And magnificent!”  _ Man, I can’t make fun of her now.  She likes it so much. She’s so into it.  Seeing her happy and chill is nice. Suits her much better than her grumpy mode. _  Now she points to the title as she speaks.  “And this one ends in a cliffhanger! I know Varric is working on the next, he must be!”  I can see the gears working in her head as she remembers it was her idea to promote me to everyone’s boss.

“You!  Catherine, you could ask him to finish it,  _ command  _ him to…”  But then she stops and scowls at herself.  “Pretend you don’t know this about me.” Cassandra quickly turns and sits back down.

“So, you don’t want me to ask Varric about the next volume?  You don’t want that cliffhanger resolved?” She grumbles and drums her fingers against her cheek.  After glancing around to make sure no one else is watching, she whispers to me.

“I mean- if you happened to ask him…”  I smile and nod.

“Okey-dokey.  I’m not gonna tell him.  Scouts honor.” The Seeker is pleased as she starts reading again.  As I start walking away, her head jolts up to ask me something.

“By the way, what do you plan to do with Samson?”  Now it’s my turn to be surprised. I stop in my tracks.

“Huh?”

“He still remains in the dungeon, awaiting your decision, Inquisitor.”   _ Wait, that’s what they did with him?  Just chucked him in there? _

“Samson is still in the dungeon?”

“Ever since we arrived at Skyhold.”   _ That’s been, what, two weeks?  He’s been in the dungeon for two weeks?! _

“Crap, I completely forgot!”


	38. Putting it Together

“I said, let him out!”

“But, ma’am, we can’t just go around and release prisoners!”  I stomp my foot and shove my right hand in the guards face.

“My hand glows!  I’m your boss!”

“Yes, but, he will need to be judged prop-”

“Did Samson help us?”  The guard starts sputtering.

“Well, yes but-”

“Was his information good?”

“Yes-”

“Then let. Him. Out!”

Quickly, she fumbles for her keys and walks over to Samson’s cell.  After fumbling with the lock, the bars open with a groan. The former Templar looks around, confused, before cautiously stepping out.

“Can’t say I’m not grateful.”  He mutters, cracking his neck. “But why?”  I shrug.

“I mean, you helped us.  Why would I keep you in there?  Sorry about having to spend two weeks in there.  If I’d have known-” He raises a hand to stop me.

“Look, it’s not a big deal.  A lot of people would do the same thing, I guess.”  The guard looks almost petrified as Samson glances us over.  “So, can I go?” I nod to him.

“Sure, I don’t care.  Report to Cullen, or something, I guess.  Long as you don’t start any fights or lifting women’s skirts I don’t care.”  Samson kind of shrugs to himself and starts to head up the stairs toward Skyhold.

“But, ma’am!”  The guard stops me before I go.  “What will I do if he’s brought back?”

“Deal.  With. It.”  I almost hiss at her in annoyance.  Then, before I leave, I shoot a couple fingers guns.  “Anyway, thanks for that. Peace!”

* * *

 

“Hey, Sera!”  I call out as I knock on the door to her room.  “You up?” I push open the door, only to have to duck at the last second.

“AHGH!”  I screech as an arrow zips past my ear.  It lands with a plunk in a wooden beam. I scowl at Sera, who’s got her bow out as she glances around.

“Frig!  Sorry, mate, sorry!  I didn’t know it was you!”  She starts apologizing quickly.  “Thought you was Maryden. Friggin bards!”  She grumbles. Once my heart settles, I pull the arrow out and hand it back to her.

“You’ve been having problems with her?”  Sera nods emphatically.

“She keeps creepin on me, trying to ask me waaay too many questions!  Started writing some ditty about me… It’s creepy, yeah? I don’t like it.  But she don’t take a hint and bugger off...” She trails off as she stomps her foot.

“Want me to talk to her for you?”  Sera just throws her arms up.

“You could try!  For all the words she keeps singing, she don’t really listen much.”  Meanwhile, a heavy pair of boots comes running up the stairs. It’s Krem, who looks a little panicked.

“You alright, your Worship?  I thought I heard you…?” I awkwardly smile.

“Sorry, just got a little spooked.  You’re fine, Krem.” He nods and turns back down the steps.

“False alarm, Chief.”

“Man, what I would give for another bar fight one of these days…”  I hear a familiar grumble from below.

“The last time you got in one, you lost an eye.”

“Yeah, but I got a good lieutenant out of it.  Maybe this time we’ll get a redhead?”

“You always wants the redheads.”  Bull just cackles.

 

Now Sera leans against the doorframe, pointing at the stack in my hands.

“What’s that, then?”  I hold them up for her inspection.

“Some hoity-toity idiots think I can be married off for their gain or something.  Wanna help me rifle through ‘em? See how bad they get? Maybe work some revenge angles?”  She smirks and tugs at my wrist.

“Come on, get it then!”

 

Sera and I sit in her nook; the pile of letters is between us as we sort through them.  We’re arranging them into piles of ‘Shit List’ and ‘Not Shit List’. So far, the only one not in the shit list pile is a letter from some Ferelden nobles offering to marry me to Alistair.  I only put him there ‘cause Al is my bro. The rest of these pompous windbags can go die.

“Oy, Birdy,”  Sera gets my attention between giggles.  “Get a load a this!

‘My gracious and most illustrious Herald!’”  She begins in an exaggerated French accent. “‘I am the Marquis d’Caroline.  My husband and I have agreed you would be a perfect match for my younger son, Henri.  He is a charming young man set to be in the service of Lord Stefen, one of my neighbors.  If you were to meet him before he leaves on the second week of Drakonis, I would be delighted to arrange a match for the two of you.  If you accept this, the Inquisition will have full access to our-’

Blahdy, blahdy, blah!  What’chu wanna do with her?”  I shrug at her.

“I mean, she doesn’t seem that malicious?  Does it mention how old this ‘Henri’ is?” She frowns and scans the paper.

“He’s thirty-seven.”  I make a face. “Pretty old.”

“Ew!  Gross!  No way!”

“Shit list it is, Birdy.”  As she places the letter back in the envelope and throws that into the expanding pile, I tap her on the shoulder.

“Where’d you come up with ‘Birdy’?”  I see her smile a little as she hands me the next letter.   _We’re getting close to the bottom now.  How long have we been doing this? An hour?_

“Your name has ‘Hawk’ in it.  That’s a bird. Plus that one time in the Hinterlands, when we recruited Blackwall.”

“Stop it.”

“You started screeching cause of a pigeon!”

“It swooped at me!”

“It was a pigeon!”  She starts cackling.  “You can face a Darkspawn, but not a pint-sized-”  But then she suddenly stops mid-sentence and gets this look on her face of… confusion?  Fear? Dread?

“You remember that war we talked about?  Full of little baddies I can stick with little arrows?”  As Sera throws her arms up for emphasis, the stack beside us goes flying.  “That’s not a friggin Archdemon is it!” Her head follows the stack as they land in her lap with a ‘plop’.

“Andraste, what’d I step in?”  She half mumbles to herself. I just shrug along with her.

“I mean, a freaky weird dude with rocks for brains is a bit of a surprise?”

“No!”  She disagrees.  “A surprise is, ‘Oh, I stepped in dog shite.’  No one says: ‘Oh a magister god monster man, I’m surprised.’.  Impossible things aren’t surprises.”

“Unfortunately, he seemed pretty dang real.”  Sera now crosses her legs and mounts her head on her fist.  She grabs a pear sitting on a table in front of us and starts eating.

“Oh, don’t get me started.”  She mumbles, pointing. “Oh, wait, too late, right?”  She swallows.

“A magister who cracked the ‘Black City’.  It’s a hazy dream, right? I mean, if it’s real real, then the seat of the Maker?  Real thing. A seat needs a butt, so the Maker? Real thing. Fairy stories about the start and end of the world?  Real things. It’s too much, isn’t it? I mean, how weird is all this that I actually think this shite is possible?”

“I mean, you joined to help the little guys.  What do you think?”

“Think?  You mean like, believe?  In Andraste, of course. But it can’t be true true.  Even fanatics don’t want that! Look, I have arrows. I can make Coryphellus believe in those.  Good enough? Please be good enough.” I clap her on the shoulder.

“Hell yeah, my dude.  Question the system. Let’s fuck up Cerphufalus and be done with it.”  She grins and punches me in the shoulder in kind.

“What I want is to get everything back to business as usual.  A nice simple system with simple problems. Helps me, helps people, helps you.  In that order. For now.”

“In any case, you’ll stick around?”  Sera grins as she picks up the stack from her lap.

“Oh, sure, sure.  For now, let’s make sure these nobs don’t get your bits.”  Now she snickers. “Your gracious ladybits, your Inquizitorialness.”  I frown at her.

“Really?”

“Really!”

 

When I exit the Tavern, the sun is starting to set.  The sky has turned orange. I spent nearly the whole day talking with Sera and sorting through my junk mail.   _Kinda nice._  After I round the corner, it’s hard to miss the hulking Qunari as he leans against the side of the building.  When he notices me, he beckons me over to him.

“So, Inquisitor huh?  You’ve certainly got the fortress for it.”  I kind of cough as I try not to make myself awkward.   _It’s still so confusing to me.  He’s just so tall. And buff. And scary sometimes.  But he’s still a good guy. I like him._

“Heh heh, yeah.  Some promotion. Half the people here either don’t know who I am or kowtow to me.  It’s weird.” He gives a hearty laugh.

“Speaking of which, there’s something I want to show you.  If you’ve got the time.” I give a wide sweeping gesture.

“I’m all yours, my dude.”  He smiles a toothy smirk as he starts to walk somewhere.

“Here, come on.”

 

The Iron Bull leads me to the part of the castle with all my soldiers.  I thought he was just going to lead me to the middle, but then the giant Qunari gestures for me to follow him to a concealed hallway.  There’s nobody watching us, the open part concealed by crates and barrels.

“Alright,”  He says when he’s checked to make sure the coast is clear.  “I’m going to need you to do that… freaky shifting thing you do.”  I look a little confused.

“Uh, okay?  What for?”

“You’ll see.  It’ll be worth your time, I promise.”  After a few seconds, he looks a little disappointed.  “Can’t you do that in a second? Just ‘poof’ and you’re not you?”

“Well, yeah, but I need some instruction.  I need a ‘who’. Like, Krem?” His one eye blinks in surprise.

“Krem?”  He echoes.   _I wonder how heavy his horns are?  Do they hurt his head? Are they light?_  Quickly, I change into his lieutenant.

“Hi, Chief!”  I smirk and give him a little wave.  Then I frown to myself. “Wait, was that too high?”  I try pitching my voice lower. “Hi… No, doesn’t sound right.”  Bull just stands there.

“This is weird.”  Is all he says. I turn back into myself.  “What about that green guy you were at Haven?  The blond? Didn’t talk?” I turn into Link again.

“Yeah, that’s the guy.  This’ll work fine. Also, a favor?”  I turn my head to him and make a grunting noise.  “One, lose the hat. Looks a little ridiculous for a merc.  Two, maybe don’t turn into any of my boys again, alright? It’s just…”  He makes a face briefly. I nod to him. _I can do that._

“Alright then, let’s go.  This way.”

 

I follow Bull through the mass of soldiers.  He finds a couple of them playing cards at a table.

“Evening.”  He greets them as he sits on a bench.  I follow Bull’s lead and plop myself on the barrel next to him.  “Iron Bull. My merc band just joined up.” Each of them nods in greeting.  The man on the right speaks first.

“Tanner.  I’m from Jader.  Well, near Jader.”   _Isn’t Jader in Orlais?  Seems like it, based on his accent._

“Mira.”  The woman says, definitely Orleasan.  “I was Gaurd-Captain for Lady Pendell.  Signed on after shit blew up at the conclave.  Share a drink?” She offers, after looking both Bull and I over.  Bull takes a couple tankards and hands one to me. As he takes a swig he meets my eyes before looking back at the cup.   _Oh… I gotta play along?  I guess a tiny sip won’t get me tipsy, will it?_

“This is Grim.”  Bull gesture to me as I take a tiny swig from the tankard.   _It’s just like grape juice at communion.  It’s just like grape juice at communion._  I keep telling myself as I swallow the awful drink.  I nearly cough it back up it’s so nasty. _What is this crap?  Ale? Beer? BLEH!_  “He, uh… doesn’t talk much.”  Bull says as he takes another swig.

“Mh.”  I give a small grunt to the two of them.   _Playing along seems the best idea right now._

“So, you ready to kill some demons or Venatori?  Or whatever that Corypheus asshole is?” The Qunari asks an open question.  Mira answers.

“This isn’t just about killing.  We’re helping the Inquisition save the world and build the next empire.

“Mmh.”   _That’s my interested grunt._   _But I don’t want the Inquisition to become an Empire.  I don’t want to sink that low._  Bull doesn’t say anything about the comment and goes on.

“Well, long as I get paid, I’m happy.  That’s why I signed up.” Tanner seems to agree.

“I just couldn’t spend my whole life on a farm.  Needed to live a little, you know?” Bull now looks at Mira.

“What about you, Mira?  Why’d you join up? You said you were serving some noble?”  
“I saw what happened at Haven.  The Inquisitor staring down that monster and his Archdemon…  She looked like a frightened child, couldn’t even move when she laid eyes on that thing.  And yet she held on to let her allies flee. I don’t sing the Chant of Light as often as I should, but you can’t see something like that and not believe.”  At this, Bull gives me a nod and begins to rise from his seat. I quickly follow suit.

“Well, Grim and I should find our tents.  Thanks for the drink.” I nod to both Mira and Tanner as I follow Bull back to the hall.

 

“Okay, you’re good.”  As I become myself, Bull almost becomes taller.  He then starts to lead me back to where we started.  “I know every soldier under my command. You don’t have that option… but a few faces might help.”  I nod along in agreement.

“It was good to get more people’s perspective on this.”

“Yeah.  Sounds like we could use an easy win for boys like Tanner.  And vets like Mira have seen enough to be wary. Either way, you’ve got a good army coming along.  Remember that, no matter what comes next.”

“Ya sound kinda ominous, there.”  He only laughs.

“Well, we are fighting a darkspawn.  Who knows what’s next?” I nod and wave to him as I turn around to head back.

“I see you around, Bull.”

* * *

 

“This thing is not a stray puppy you can make into a pet.  It has no business being here.” I can hear Vivienne as I start climbing the steps to the castle.  Quickly, I start to backpedal to make my way down to where she is. _I know they’re talking about Cole.  I want to recruit him. I’ve got to._

Both Cassandra and Solas also stand with her.  Cole, on the other hand, I can’t see at the moment.

“Wouldn’t you say the same of an apostate?”  Solas argues. While Vivienne takes her time to come up with an answer, Cassandra notices me half-jogging down the steps.

“Inquisitor,”  She greets me. “I wondered if Cole was perhaps a mage, given his unusual abilities.”  Solas goes into teacher mode and begins to lecture.

“He can cause people to forget him, or even fail entirely to notice him.  These are not the abilities of a mage. It seems that Cole is a spirit.” Vivienne crosses her arms at the title.

“It is a demon.”  She emphasizes. Solas says nothing on her tone.

“If you prefer, although the truth is somewhat more complex.”  I can feel Cole behind us, listening.

“I dunno if it’s complex or not, but he did come to help.”  I turn around to talk to Cole. “Right, Cole?” The spirit boy sits on the ground, cross-legged, staring at his lap.  When I say his name, he looks up at me. After a few moments, he softly nods. Vivienne only sighs at this.

“Helping or not, it is still a threat.”

“In fact, his nature is not so easily defined.”  Cassandra doesn’t like Solas’ explanation.

“Speak plainly, Solas.  What are we dealing with?”  Why am I the only one trying to include Cole in the conversation?

“Hey, guys.”  I quickly interject before pointing over my shoulder.  “Cole’s right there. Talking about him like he can’t hear is kinda rude?”  All three adults look to where I was pointing with confusion.

“I do not see anything,”  Cassandra admits. I frown.

“But he’s right there.”  Solas shakes his head.

“Perhaps Cole wishes to hide?”  I twist around. Sure enough, he’s still there.  I give Cole a confused look. He doesn’t seem to quite get it.  Solas continues to address Cassandra. “Demons normally enter this world by possession.  In their true form, they look bizarre or monstrous.” Cassandra is still confused.

“But Cole looks like a young man.  Is it still possession?”

“No, he has possessed nothing and no one, and yet appears human in all respects.  Cole is unique. More than that, he wishes to help. I suggest we allow him to do so.”  Now I interject again.

“In that case, I’ll see what Cole has to say for himself.  Cole?” I ask, but when I turn around, he’s not there. “Buddy?  Where’d you go?” Cassandra groans.

“If none of us remember him, he could be anywhere…”  

 

Just over Solas’ shoulder, I see a little bit of movement.  With a longer glance, I see it’s Cole, moving closer to the tents of the injured.  I quickly start to jog over.

“Cole…”  I say in a warning tone.  “What have you got there?”  I see a glimmer in his hand.  Cole looks up as I approach him.  He explains as he meets my eyes.

“A knife.”   _Oh god please be careful.  Please don’t stab people…_  “Oh.”  He says as he sheaths it.

“You wouldn’t like me to do that.”  I shake my head.

“There are other ways to help than by killing.”  Cole thinks about it and begins to watch around us.

“Haven.  So many soldiers fought to protect the pilgrims so they could flee and not be followed.”  Now his voice takes on a more animated tone. “Choking fear, can’t think from the medicine but the cuts wrack me with every heartbeat.  Hot white pain. Everything burns. I can’t. I _can’t._  I’m going to…  I’m dying, I’m…”  Then he points to a soldier who goes limp on a cot.

“...dead.”  I move closer to Cole.

“Are you okay?  You just felt him… die…”  He looks at me again, I can’t tell what his emotion is.

“It is louder this close, with so many of them.”

“Would you feel better if we went someplace quieter?”

“Maybe.”  He admits as he steps closer to someone.  “But here is where I can help.” He steps closer to someone, lying in pain.

“Every breath slower.  Like lying in a warm bath.  Sliding away. Smell of my daughter’s hair when I kiss her goodnight.”  The person below his gaze shuts their eyes and slips away. “Gone.” _Man, it is unsettling how… clinically he delivers that._  Now Cole turns to another person and yet again narrates their thoughts.  “Cracked brown pain, dry, scraping, thirsty.” Cole quickly moves to a water bucket and lifts out a ladle.  He carefully walks to the injured soldier by the fire. The spirit crouches down and holds the ladle to the woman’s lips.  

“Here.”

“Thank you.”  She whispered hoarsely.  Cole glances up at me for a moment.

“She won’t remember me.  You know.” Now he rises and returns the ladle.  “I used to think I was a ghost. I didn’t know. I made mistakes… but I made friends, too.  Then a Templar proved I wasn’t real. I lost my friends. I lost everything. I learned how to be more like what I am.  It made me different, but stronger. I can feel more. I can help. You want me to stay. To help everyone how I can. To help you.  To help your friends- my friends. Can I? Stay?” I nod back to him. _He sounds so happy._

“You can stay if you want to.”  He has a small smile now.

“Helping.  I help the hurt.”  Now he moves closer to someone else.  “Hurts. It hurts. It hurts, someone make it stop hurting.  Maker, please…” He starts to move for his knife but stops. His hand almost quivers above his dagger.

“No, Cole.  Stabbing is bad.  Hurts other people.  Give them a chance.” Now he looks at me, a sad confusion in his eyes.  “You don’t want me to help him like that. You did before, it makes you feel bad.  But every moment will be agony. He wants mercy. But you don’t want me to?” I step closer to him and start to guide Cole away from the injured.

“When I was a baby, I was born early.  I scared a lot of people. Some doctors and family thought I was going to die.  That I wouldn’t make it past the weekend. But because others kept fighting for me and believing in me, I’m still here.  You need to give him a chance to pull through. If he does pass, you can help by making it easier for him as he goes. But you won’t know if he’ll live if you kill him.  Like how you can’t tell how high a tree can grow if you cut it down.”

Cole silently stands there, watching him and me.  Eventually, he speaks, quietly.

 

“Okay.”  He says. “I want to stay.”


	39. Flies Like Hawke

When I push open the door to the War Room this morning, I find the usual advisors in their spots.   _ Crap, I’m late.  As usual. And I don’t have Starbucks as an excuse now. _  But the new surprise was Vivienne standing beside Cassandra.   _ Why is she here?  I thought the schedule said we were going to discuss when the Ferelden and Orleasen dignitaries were going to arrive today?  I don’t even remember why they’re coming. Something about saying thank you for clearing out the Venatori in Denerim? A customs thing?  Is Viv here to help with Orlais’ court customs? _  As the door shuts with a loud noise, I only catch half of the sentence Cassandra said.

“-really the best time for the Chantry to be doing this?”  All of them, save Cullen, are looking at some sort of parchment unrolled on the War Table.  I squeeze beside Cass and get on my tiptoes to see what’s going on.  _ The script is the same type I saw in the Hinterlands on that sign.  It’s in Archaic Orleasen. Haven’t a clue what it says. _

“Is there ever a good time to elect a Divine, my dear?”  Viv answers Cassandra, but she looks just as concerned. Josie blinks and taps the edge of the scroll with the end of her quill.

“But this is unprecedented!”

“Utterly ridiculous is what it is!”  Cullen grumbles. No one pays him any attention.  I glance around at the table. Everyone’s just confused.  They all just stare at the scroll with bug eyes. I stare at the gold lettering trying to maybe find some familiar symbols.   _ I can see the sigil of the Chantry clear enough, so it must be from them. _

“So, what exactly are we gawking at?”  I stage whisper to everyone but Cullen.  I see a few people sighing and the first to speak is Leliana.

“As the Left and Right Hands of Divine Justinia, Cassandra and I were the top candidates for Divine-”  Cassandra finishes the Spymaster’s thought.

“Because many, if not all of the Grand Clerics who would normally take up the Sunburst Throne, died at the Conclave.  However, this morning-”

“We received word from three different Chanry groups claiming to have elected a new Divine.  One from the Grand Closter in Val Royeaux and two different responses from a major power in Verchiel.  The second announcement is dated a week after the first.” I blink, now understanding why everyone is so confused.

“You said ‘were’ as in past tense?  And why did these notices get sent to us?  I thought the Chantry hates us.” Cassandra frowns and starts drumming her fingers on the table as she stares the paper down.

“Because-”  She mumbles, trying to find words.  Leliana tries to speak again but is equally at a loss.

“Well…”  Finally, Vivienne, who has been silent since I got here, speaks.

“It appears Cassandra, Leliana, and I have all been elected Divine.”

 

_ Wait, I knew all three were up for election, but all at the same time?  Oh. So that’s why everyone’s confused. Wait… this seems a little familiar.  Like I read about it somewhere. Wait, I got it! This is like in AP Euro in High School, in the medieval section of the textbook.  I remember now! _  The second I start to laugh, but I can’t muffle my mouth in time.  All the others look at me strangely. Leliana is the first to regain herself.

“Just what is so funny, Inquisitor?”  Cassandra frowns a little at me.

“This is serious!”  She reprimands. I start giggling in earnest now, the information coming back to me.

“Dude, dude!  This is nuts! It’s the Avignon pope stuff!  Oh my god! This is hilarious! You’re all the pope!”  I start pointing at people. “My spymaster is the Pope!  The Pope is a mage! The Pope reads S-” Before I can get the title out, The Seeker slaps a hand over my mouth, shutting me up, her face red.  I frown under her hand and grumble a muffled ‘Hey!’ but it comes out as: ‘Mph!’. Viv raises an eyebrow, seemingly unphased by my reaction.

“Are you done, my dear?”  I give a thumbs up and Cassandra releases me.

 

“So did they give a reason why it was all three of you guys?”  I ask once I’ve settled down. Josephine glances at the papers, which I now see were on top of one another.

“The Grand Council of Val Royeaux named Leliana as the new Divine, citing she upheld Divine Justinia ideals for a more peaceful world, considering things Leliana has mentioned on occasion.  However, it appears in retaliation for electing another Orlesian Divine- and a much more liberal woman at that- a different group of clerics gathered together in Verchiel, where they elected Madame Vivienne.  They reason as head of the Circle at Montsimmard and her conservative views, Vivienne would be the right choice to being Thedas to order. Another part of their tactic could also be trying to garner favor with Grand Duke Gaspard, being they are in his lands.  Yet, not a week later, they rescinded this and instead have named Cassandra as the new Divine. In the end, the one person who could end this dispute would be Empress Celene.”

As Josephine takes a pause to breathe, I mull it all over.  Just like the Avignon Pope debacle.  _ I can see why the other group would panic at Viv, she’s a mage and the Chantry hates mages.  _

“But how come Celene can end the debacle?  I thought the Divine was above Kings and Queens?”

“Since the Chantry was founded in Orlais by Orlesean rulers, the Kings of the Empire have had special roles or privileges within the Grand Chantry.”  I nod and give one of the longest ‘Ohs of my life. Meanwhile, Josie continues to fidget. “And all this on the eve the dignitaries and nobles are to arrive.  The decorations aren’t finished, the repairs are almost finished but the scaffolding is an eyesore, and we still need to prep the Inquisi-” 

 

Leliana quickly puts an arm around the Antivan’s shoulder. 

“Josie, Josie, calm down.  Things will work out for us, they always do.  We have only just moved in. The dignitaries are here to greet us and meet the Inquisitor.  They are aware of the situation. Breathe.” Now she looks at me, a knowing smile on her face.  “Catherine will be on her best behavior. You won’t have a thing to worry about. Isn’t that right, Inquisitor?”  _  Note to self: Never piss off Leliana.  She is scary. I don’t like scary. _  As if on cue, everyone else in the room glances at me.  I want to shrink down and melt.

“R-Right!  I’ll do my best!”

 

* * *

 

“Puppy!”  _  I’m sorry everyone.  I really am. But how was I supposed to know the Fereldens would bring a Mabari?  I’m a weak, weak person and that dog is too cute! _  I stand with my advisors at the entrance to the bridge to Skyhold.  Out of the last carriage from Ferelden, the first to jump out was a full grown Mabari.   _ He’s a big, strong-looking dog.  But the way he jumps around and spins is too cute! _  He barks as his tail wags back and forth.  The dog runs back to the door of the carriage and starts jumping up and down excitedly at whoever is inside.  Cassandra elbows me gently. I frown up at her. “What?” I can hear a muffled man laugh at the dog’s antics.

“Yes, yes, I know, I know, boy.  You’re so excited to finally be outside aren’t you?”  The dog barks excitedly, sounding exactly like the companion from Origins.  “You want to meet the people? Do you want to meet the people?” The dog looks over at us, panting excitedly as his paws go up and down and he wiggles in place.  He barks some more.

“Just give me a minute, this cloak is hard to-”   _ Oh my dear sweet lord, karma has struck.   _ The last of the Ferelden dignitaries steps out of the carriage, brushing himself off from travel and patting the dog.  “Who’s a good boy?”  _  It’s Alistair.  The King of Ferelden- who I quoted Monty Python at- is standing in front of me.  Again. But god that dog!!! _  His Majesty looks as confused as I am to see me again.

“Well,”  He finally says after glancing at me and my squad.  “I didn’t think I’d be seeing you again.” I give a nervous laugh.

“Dude, I know ri-”  I get elbowed again.  “Hey!”

“You address a King as ‘Your Highness’, not ‘Dood’.”  Just then, the Mabari trots up to Alistair's leg. He almost smiles with his tongue dropping to the side.  His butt wiggles with his tail in excitement. The dog glances back from us to Alistair, barking and whining.  After a nudge from Josie, I step forward to shake Alistair’s hand. His hand is a lot bigger than mine as we actually touch for the first time.  He’s got a firm grip. He seems in a much better mood than when I first sassed him.

“Let’s try this again, shall we?  I’m Alistair, but I suppose you already knew that.”  I nod along.

“Yeah, yeah.  Name’s Catherine.  I, uh…I run this joint?”  I don’t know what else to say.  The Mabari barks again, drawing me out of my head.  “But whatever, can I pet your dog?!”

“Inquisitor!”  I get reprimanded but I just glance down and smile at the Mabari.  After I wave he gets so much more excited. Alistair smirks to himself before patting the dog.

“What do you think, Barkspawn?”  _  Holy crap!  That’s my dog!! _  I hear Cass go ‘Uggh.’  Leliana grumbles something along the lines of:

“I can’t believe Fenrir let you name him.”  I immediately crouch down and offer my hand to sniff.

“Hi buddy!”  Barkspawn seems very happy to see me.  “I know about you! You’re such a smart, brave little baby, huh?  Did you help save the world?” He barks and gives a little jump.

“Yeah?  Are you the best boy?”   **Bark!**  “You’re the bestest puppy?”  **Bark bark!**

“I know!  You’re so cute!”  Cue dog going nuts as I scratch his ears.  He slobbers a lot but I don’t care. _That’s my boy!  That’s my boy!!_ _If Alistair ever doubted me, my interaction with Barkspawn has won him over.  The Orleaseans, not so much. But who cares, I’m petting a dog!_  Barkspawn now flops down onto the dirt and rolls onto his back.  As if on autopilot, I crouch down on the balls of my feet to reach him.  Belly rubs commence. This dog is just so darn happy he’s wiggling so much.  “Oh my gosh, I just love you, little baby!”

 

“Ah, Inquisitor?”  I turn around while still petting this Mabari that ripped down Darkspawn and dragons and who knows what else.  All the advisors have varying degrees of ‘Dear God’ written on their face. Cassandra seems to not be coming out of her facepalm.  Cullen has rolled his eyes so hard they’re probably in his skull.  _ Weird, I thought Fereldens liked dogs? _  Leliana seems to be thinking about how she doesn’t get paid enough for this.  Josie looks a combination of mortified and disappointed.

“Josie lookit!  It’s a puppy! He’s so cute, lookit him!”

“Inquisitor, that is a full grown war-hound that could rip your arm off.  You ought to be more cautious-”

“But he’s a happy little baby puppy!”  She mutters something in Antivan. I can see the King of Ferelden looking… impressed?  He nods along.

“She’s right.  He’s just a little ball of sunshine!”  Now Josie walks over and hisses at me.

“Catherine, you may be impressing the Fereldens but those from Orlais are certainly going to look down on you…”

“But dog!”  I hiss back, gesturing at Barkspawn, who has stood up and is scratching his ear.  “I haven’t gotten to pet a cat or dog since I got here! I love them! This is stress relief.  Let me have this one thing.” She sighs.

“I understand this, but you will have to pet him later.  Right now we have business to attend to.”  _ But this dog is my priority… _

“Okay…”  I frown and stand back up.  “Sorry, buddy. I’ll be back, okay?  You be a good nugget!” Barkspawn barks in agreement.  I wave to him.

“I love you!”   **Bark bark!**  Meanwhile, Josie clears her throat and tries to be presentable, gesturing to the stairs.

“Ladies, Gentlemen, your Graces.  This way, please.”

* * *

 

My hand hurts from all the handshakes and my skin is crawling from all the people that have kissed my knuckles.  _  I’ll show them where I’d like to stick my fist.   _ My face hurts from smiling so much.   _ How does Josephine do this?  I feel exhausted. _  I trudge through the main hall where so many nobles in poofy skirts and tight doublets stand and gossip.  Varric, meanwhile, sits in front of the fire at a wooden table. I plunk down in the seat across from him.  He’s reading over something or possibly writing. I can imagine him with reading glasses. He’d almost look like Ben Franklin.

“Need something, or are you just here to admire the dwarf?”   _ Hardy har har. _

“Meeting people is something I never thought would tire me out.  I need a vacation. We should go on vacation.” Varric chuckles.

“Best advice I’ve ever heard.  I’ve been meaning to talk to you anyhow, Dots.  I never really officially ‘joined’ the Inquisition, did I?”  I pout a little as I sink into the chair.

“Huh, I guess you haven’t.  Never crossed my mind.”

“I don’t know how to do this…”  He rolls his hand as he thinks. “-disciplehood thing.  I’m a businessman. Never really followed a ‘chosen one’ before.”  I shrug at him as I start sliding down to a barely sitting angle.

“Bro, I like friends better than followers.”  He smiles warmly.

“If you knew how intimidating you are, you wouldn’t make it sound so simple.”  I shoot up straight and start exaggeratedly looking around before pointing to myself.

“Are you talking to me?  Intimidating? Me? The kid who cries at birds and corpses and dragons and doesn’t know how to do taxes is intimidating?”

“You just don’t know what you are to the people out there.  Sure, I might see a kid who’s a little out of their depth sometimes just like everyone else, but to others, you’re a symbol bigger than any of us.”

“Well, what do you think?”  He shrugs at me.

“None of this shit makes any sense to me.  Is this the end of the world? Was it really Andrastre that sent you through the Fade from your world?  I have no idea. You heard the way the crowd went nuts after your speech.”

“Oh yeah…  But aside from all that, I’m just me.  Just a person. That’s all I wanna be.”

“Just like anybody else.  Also, you might wanna know my, uh…”  He pauses and his eyes dart around. “My contact is here.  He’s up on the battlements if you’d like me to introduce you.  But I think you know him already?” I rise slowly from the chair.   _ I wish we had lazy boys or massage chairs up in here.  Maybe get a cute Roomba to drive around, too. _

“Okay, leggo!”

* * *

 

When I arrive on the battlements with Varric, he pulls me aside for a second.

“Look, what you said back at Haven, about choosing Hawke’s actions?  Might wanna keep that to yourself. I dunno how he might react.”

“Roger Dodger.”   I only have to wait a minute or two before Varric gestures at the steps and I can see a figure begin to emerge from behind the wall.

“Inquisitor, meet Hawke, The Champion of Kirkwall.”  And suddenly, I’m standing before… my Hawke. My Lachdanan Hawke.

As I look at him, I can’t help but find some stuff I wish I could fix.  I made him white like I made my two other Dragon Age protagonists.  _  I should fix that. _  His nose seems a little too big for his face.  His eyebrows are full and slant down to make him seem gruff.  His lips aren’t thin like I usually choose, more like medium rather than full.  His eyes are a deep green. His light brown hair is like I had at the end of Dragon Age: 2.  Long enough to touch his shoulders and pulled into a half ponytail in the back. He’s got that… is it 5o’clock shadow?  And his sideburns.  _  Or are those mutton chops?  I can’t remember. _  But still, that’s my dude.  It’s so odd to see all of him like this.  In person and not in a character creator.

 

Lachdanan makes his way down the steps to us.  He wears the warrior armor with a red bandana in front and has a greatsword sheathed on his back.  The metal clinks as he walks.

“I don’t use that title much anymore.”  He grumbles to himself.  _ He sounds just like in the game.   _ Suddenly, a new voice and figure joins him.  It’s Bethany. She looks like the default preset.  Her long black hair is free and slightly frizzy. She wears her old apostate get up.  No blue circle mage robe. She carries a mage’s staff, though, not a wooden stick.

“It certainly got us out of a few problems, though, Dan.”  She adds, commenting on her brother’s title.

“Yes, it still does have its uses.”  Varric now steps forward to the two siblings.

“Hawke, Sunshine, the Inquisitor.”  _  Oh, right!  I have to talk. _

“Hi?”  I awkwardly wave.  Lachdanan gives a polite nod.  Bethany waves back.

“I figured you two might have some friendly information on Corypheus.  We did fight him after all.” The former Champion/Viscount of Kirkwall leans against the wall and looks out.

I almost keep forgetting I made him side with the Templars.  My reasoning is I tried to make him have ‘interesting character’ development.  He started off pro-mage and everything, but after Leandra died he started to grow a bit harsher.  Bringing the mages to Meredith, siding more with her, all blood mages are bad. I mean, a blood mage killed his mom, so it made sense in the game.  And after Anders blew up the Chantry, I made Lach side with the Templars. In the keep, I forgot to click the Templar icon, so in the game he mentioned he sided with the mages.  So then I headcanon he felt guilty and switched sides. 

 

_ But, right, gotta pay attention, your character is talking. _

“You’ve already dropped half a mountain on the bastard, I’m sure anything I tell you pales in comparison.”  The dwarf chuckles to himself.

“What about that time you fought the Arishok?”  Lachdanan just shakes his head, a small smile on his face.

“Yes, I'm trying to forget about that man.”  Now his sister joins him, the wind blowing her hair around like a Disney Princess.

“It’s quite the view you have here.  The estate in Kirkwall was like this.  The balcony overlooked the whole city.”  Lach just seems sour today.

“After a while I could only see all the people depending on me.”  Now I have to give sarcastic laughs.

“I’m sure micromanaging sounds better right now.”  Lachdanan Hawke turns his head to study me. After a few moments, he nods decisively.

“You’re doing everything you can.  I don’t envy you, Inquisitor, but I may be able to help you.”

“So, have you fought Corphy before?”

 

At this question, the trio goes silent.  The wind howls and blows up here. I can barely hear the commotion below us.  I can see them walk around, see Cassandra hitting stuff, like a bunch of ants.

“We did, fought and killed.  But, it’s hazy, like a dream.  I can barely remember any details.”   _ Oh yeah, I never bought any DA2 DLC.  Because I’m broke. And didn’t really want Sebastian all that bad.  No wonder Lach doesn’t know anything. He never went through it. _  Bethany nods along as Lach frowns to himself, drumming his armored fingers on the stone.

“All I remember is the feeling of finally being out of the tower again.”

“Are you sure we didn’t all hallucinate it?”  Asks everyone’s favorite dwarf. Birdman just shrugs.

“I just remember something about him being able to control the Wardens.  Though the taint or something.”

“If the Wardens have disappeared, he may have something to do with it.”  Now I sit there and frown. This is getting us nowhere.

“Well, that sucks.  Any way to undo it?” Bethany Hawke looks at me, also frowning.

“We would need more information first.”

 

“I’ve a friend in the Wardens,”  Lachdanan says as he pushes himself off the wall.  “He was investigating something unrelated for me. His name is Stroud.  The last we spoke, he was worried about corruption in the Warden ranks. Then, nothing.”   _ Welp, that doesn’t sound good. _  Varric seems to have the same thing on his mind.

“Corphy would certainly qualify as corruption in the ranks.  Did your friend disappear with them?” Lach shakes his head, his hair swaying as he does so.

“No.  He told me he’d be hiding in an old smuggler’s cave, near Crestwood.”   _ Oh yeah, that part.  Where I run through tunnels and drain a lake.  And chase down a dude who killed people. Fun times.  At least it’s not the dead people swamp. I keep forgetting to go to the dead people swamp. _  Now I pipe up again, not wanting to be too awkward.

“So, like, what were you having Stroud look into?”

“I found this red form of lyrium in the Deep Roads.  It corrupted the Knight Commander. I was hoping the Wardens would know more.”  I fight the urge to use Cassandra’s trademark.

“It’s always the red stuff.  The templars Corphy had were eating the stuff.  Freaky, man.”  _ I wonder what the heck Red Lyrium tastes like?  Rocks? Ring Pops? Raspberry? Cherry? Is the blue stuff like blue raspberry?  Maybe Samson knows…? _  Lach seems to have noticed my strange speech but doesn’t say much.

“Hmm, I see.”  Now I cough, wanting to get out of this cramped tower landing.

“Listen, thank you, for coming and all that.”  Both Hawkes gratefully nod.

“I admit, I’m doing this much for myself as for you.  Corypheus is my responsibility. I thought I… This time, I’ll kill him.”  Bethany gives a little bow as side-eyes her brother’s dark muttering.

“Thank you for having us, your Worship.”   _ Why.  Does. Everyone.  Keep. Doing. That?!   _ I wave her off.

“It’s fine, it’s fine!  No biggie!” She blinks, a little confused, but smiles.  As we all begin to leave, Varric starts talking, as usual.

“So, Lach,”  He begins. “How’s Fenris?”

“In Tevinter, flighting slavers, I imagine.”  Bethany turns her head.

“You don’t know what your own partner is up to?”  Hawke turns his eyes away.

“I didn’t tell him I was here.  Fenris would have killed himself to keep us safe from harm.”  He looks sad as he gives everyone a glance. “I didn’t want to give him that chance.”

 

_ You know, I’m kinda glad he’s not here.  I’d have been awkwardly stared as he spoke.  Or he’d freak out it he learned I can mimic him.  Can’t imagine that would go well. _


	40. Sparks

Hawke quickly ducked out of sight and went somewhere with Varric.  Bethany asked if she could walk the grounds and after I nod she took of for the garden.  Now, once again, I’m alone. _There’s a few companions I haven’t checked in with much.  I should go talk to some more people._  I start jogging up the stairs- which I hate- to the main hall.  Thankfully, I don’t walk face first into the scaffolding and enter the rotunda.  I noticed Dad’s already starting working on his murals. Solas stands on the left side of the room.  I can see outlines of an image on a white wall. In his hands is a sketch pad with a similar design. He frowns to himself and is clearly deep in thought.   _I don’t think I’m going to bug him today._  Above us, I hear an echoed grumble and books being rearranged. _But I know someone I can._  I think to myself as I start to walk up more stairs.   _I’m going to reinvent the escalator!_

Once I clear the landing, Dorian’s in front of a bookshelf.  He doesn’t turn around as I approach.

“Brilliant, isn’t it?”  He asks as I get closer.  “One minute you’re trying to restore order in a world gone mad,”  Now the Tevinter briefly turns his head around while he continues rearranging.  He gives me a quick smile.

“That should be enough for anyone to handle, yes?  Then, out of nowhere, an Archdemon appears and kicks you in the head!  ‘What? You thought this would be easy?’” He asks in an exaggerated tone and I can’t keep myself from laughing.  He smirks at the attention and keeps going.  “‘No, I was just hoping you wouldn’t crush our village like an anthill.’  ‘Sorry about that. Archdemons like to crush, you know. Can’t be helped.’”  Now he finally finishes what he was up to and faces me proper.

“Am I speaking too quickly for you?”  I eventually calm myself and am able to speak normally.

“Dude, if you keep going, I’m going to end up like a dying seal on the floor.”  He clearly enjoys the spotlight.

“Ah, taken aback?  By my wit and charm?  I have plenty of both.”

“Hey, if being a pariah doesn’t work out for you, you could go into comedy writing.”  Now the Altus dramatically places a hand on his heart.

“As if I could be anything less!  You wound me, madam!” He exclaims in a joking manner.  After laughing at his little joke, he changes topics to a much more serious one.  “I always assumed the Elder One behind the Venatori was a Magister, but this is something else completely.  In Tevinter, they say the Chantry’s tales of Magisters starting the Blight are just that: tales. And don’t even get me started on the children's stories of other universes!  But, here we are. One of those Magisters; a Darkspawn. Along with his little Roman lackey.”

  
I can only nod along with him. _I’m still having trouble swallowing a dude who’s been dead for a long time is walking again.  And touched me. Also threatened to kill me. The dude who destroyed the Roman Republic is, along with me, stuck in a video game._

“So who does the Imperium point at who started the Blight?”  Dorian just waves his hands as his facial features take on a more exasperated look.

“Oh, you know how it is.  ‘Not us!’ They say Darkspawn were always there.  Magisters and the Blight aren’t even related. Is that a surprise?  No one wants to admit they shit the bed. But if Corypheus is one of the Magisters who entered the Black City and he’s Darkspawn, what other explanation is there?”  I shrug along with him.

“I mean, the dude was a little bit coo-coo with rocks growing out of his head.  Do we really take everything he says as truth?”

“True, he might be a convincing liar, or delusional, or insane.  But how many delusional maniacs have that knowledge? He broke open the Fade and was able to drag another person from wherever you come from.  I knew what I was taught couldn’t be the whole truth, but I assumed there had to be a kernel of it, somewhere. But no, it was us all along. We destroyed the world.”  Wow, he gets dramatic when he’s upset.

“Last time I checked, the world is still here?”

“Not for lack of trying, anyway.  If they were more clever, they would have unleashed something that would really do the job.”   _Like unleashing every Archdemon at once?  That would suck!_  Now Dorian just laughs to himself. “No one will thank me, whatever happens.”  He says when he’s finished.

“No one will thank you, either.  You know that yet?”

“Hey, I’m saving the world because I’m one of the idiots who lives in it.  Not dying is the best reward.” Now he nods as he smiles, looking a bit impressed.

“I knew there was something clever about you.  Aside from the time you threw us off a cliff.”

“Haha, yeah I did do that.”

“All I know is this:  Corypheus and Ceaser need to be stopped.  Men like the former ruined my homeland, and from what I’ve gathered, men like the latter ruined your version of my homeland and he wants to try again.  I won’t stand by and let them ruin the world.” I nod along emphatically and stick my fist out.

“Heck yeah, dude!  Pound it!” Dorian blinks and looks at me strangely.  “It’s a fist bump.” After a few seconds of hesitation, he finishes the gesture.  Then, Dorian gives me one of his own and ruffles my hair a bit.

“Oh, and congratulations on the becoming Inquisitor thing.”  I frown as he returns his hand and leans against the bookshelf.

“Ugh!  Don’t remind me.  If I knew it came with so many people kissing my hand and sending me junk mail I’d have pushed it onto Cassandra.”  Now the Tevinter laughs in earnest, the sour mood from his ‘end of the world’ talk gone.

 

“Ah, the beauties of nobility!  I got my fair share before my parents decided for me.  At least you have the option to ignore them.”

“Yeah, but it’s not really working.  Some of these stuffed turkeys don’t understand ‘No’.”  Dorian is really getting a kick out of this. “If I could just, set them on fire that’d be great.”

“But alas, you can’t do regular magic.”   _But Dorian can!_ _  
_ “Heeey, do you wanna burn some of my garbage for me?”  He raises an eyebrow.

“So I’m your personal on-fire garbage can?” _Or you know, could be a nursery?_  He just laughs and changes the subject.

“I remember back at Redcliffe you had a strange device with you, but you put it away before I could see it.”  He sticks out his left palm open and makes a grabbing motion. “I’d like to see it.” _Huh?  Strange device?  Oh, right! I dangled my phone at him at Redcliffe when I tried to prove to him I come from another world.  I completely forgot I never actually showed him, did I? Well, there was that one time when I showed him a picture, but I guess he wants more._  My tongue ends up sticking out as I fish around in my pocket.

“Yeah, yeah I got my phone right-”  I grab it and yank it out. “Here! Just let me turn it...on…?”  I hold down the power button. I expect to see the logo as it turns on, but instead, I only see the image of an empty battery with a red bar.  The image of a plug flashes a couple times before the image fades.

“Ewh…”  I end up making a high pitched squealing noise.  Dorian peers at the phone in my hand. I feel like I just got punched.  I’ve been trying to conserve the battery. Now it’s all gone. I exist in a time before plugs and electricity.  I have no power bank. I can’t charge my phone… I can’t charge my phone.

“What’s the matter.”  I sadly hold the screen to face him.  I notice he checks his image for half a second.

“It…  My phone died.”  The Altus before me seems undeterred.  He cracks his fingers as he speaks.

“Well, lucky for you, I happen to specialize in raising the dead-”  I nab my phone back and hold it to my chest.

“No!  No! You will not be necromancing my phone!”  Now he looks confused and shrugs at me.

“So how does your phone work?”

“Uhh, it’s got a battery?  It gets charged from a plug in the wall?  Like, electricity? But you guys don’t have the same tech.  I’m not sure how to charge it back up.” Now Dorian looks intrigued.

“Alright then.  Do you have anything you used to charge it with you?”  I point behind me.

“I think I know where I put the USB cord and the wall plug.”  He kind of blinks and shakes his head after a moment of confusion.

“I don’t know what either of those are, but perhaps if we put our heads together we can figure this out.  I did help discover the theory of time magic. I’m sure charging your brick will be easy.”

 

Dorian is almost hot on my heels as we enter my chambers.  I hear him give a low whistle as I start rummaging through my desk drawers.

“You certainly have quite the view.”  I chuckle to myself.

“Yeah, except for the part where looking out the balcony makes me freak out.”  He laughs at my joke as I hear him land on my bed.

“Quite a nice room you have.  This is at least, what, as large as three of mine?”  I shrug as I turn on my heel to move to the bedside table.   _Maybe I put it there?_

“Admittedly, I wouldn’t mind something smaller.  I don’t really like all this stuff just because I’m Inquisitor or whatever.”  He laughs to himself.

“Many nobles would call you mad for saying that.”

 

As I pull open the second drawer, I find them, along with my iPod and earbuds.   _Thank god someone didn’t take them.  And I didn’t put them somewhere I didn’t remember.  Or that I didn’t lose them when we left Haven._  Dorian hops off the bed as I unwind the chord.  He takes the wall plug from the table and starts examining it.  He turns the little black item over in his hand as he gazes in wonder.

“What is this?”

“Wall plug,”  I answer as I plug the correct end into my phone.  Dorian traces his fingers over the prongs. “Those go into to wall.  I guess a spark goes between them and goes through it into the wire.”  I hold up the USB end as Dorian peers into the USB hole.

“And this is where that part goes?”  I nod.

“Yep, this goes into there, which connects it to my phone, and then the current charges it.”  I plug the USB into the wall plug. Pavus taps his chin for a moment while looking the wall plug over.  After he gets a glimmer in his eye, he lifts a hand that sparks to life with purple, zapping, energy. “Whoa, whoa, what are you doing?”  I snatch the wall plug back from him. He looks a little disappointed.

“If it runs on electricity, couldn’t a simple spell work to charge it?”  I frown and bite my cheek. Something about it bugs me.

“I don’t know how many… watts?  Kilowatts? How much energy is in the spell in your hand.  I don’t want to overpower the cord and destroy it. Do you have any other ideas?”  Now Pavus frowns again and begins to pace back and forth.

“Something of lesser power…”  Now he turns to me. “Do you know where we might get our hands on a rune?”  I smile and nod.

“I know just the person.”

* * *

 

“Oh, hi Inquisitor!  What can I do for you?”  Dorian and I enter the Undercroft.  Dagna almost bounces up to us, like an eager puppy.  Her red hair and armor glimmer in the light. Her smile is infectious.

“Hey, Dagna.  This is my friend, Dorian.”  Cue Dorian looking a little perplexed at being called my friend, before he recognizes the ledge we jumped from.  He stares at it a few seconds. “Can you help me with something? It has to do with my technology.” At this, she lights up light a Christmas tree.  Gleefully, she gestures for us to follow her to her workspace.

“Sure, sure!  What’cha got for me?”  I lay out the phone with the connected USB cord and the wall plug.  She peers at it with reverence.  “Whoa.  What is this?”

“It’s called a phone.  It lets me look up information at my fingertips or contact people by calling or an instant message.  The problem is, it’s out of battery. This cord and plug here are how it’s charged. The plug goes into a wall socket and gets charged with electricity.  But, I can’t charge it.” As Dagna absorbs the information, Dorian speaks up.

“I suggested the use of a spell, but the Inquisitor wanted to try something with a lower power.”

“I don’t want to fry it.  And unfortunately I can’t look up any information with it dead, so we’re stuck experimenting.”  Her bun bounces a little as she nods her head.

“Okay then.  So, maybe start with a rune and work from there?”  I nod along.

“I guess so.  I can’t think of anything else?  What do you think, Dorian?” He also nods in agreement.

“It’s a place to start.”  Dagna smiles and starts to fiddle with the wall plug.  After she gently unplugs the USB cord, she examines it.

“What’s this thing?”

“That’s a USB cord.  The end at my phone plugs into, well, my phone.  The end your holding goes into a USB plug. Those can be on computers, power banks, the wall plug there.  And it gathers power and transfers that through the wires to my phone. And bam! It charges.” _At least I think that’s how it works…  I’m just doing guesswork here._

“Neat!”  Danga exclaims as she sets down my items.  “Let’s get to work!” She smiles as she quickly walks over to a chest by the run crafting table.

“I think I already have a novice run on hand…  But I’ll have to check.” She opens the chest and starts rummaging.  It almost sounds like she’d be moving tiles or something. Dorian and I watch as she grumbles to herself.  
“That’s not it.”  She places a rune on the ground beside her.  “Ah, that’s too powerful.”

“No.  Wrong one.”  After she bends down some more, I hear a gleeful:  “Ah-ha!”

 

My Arcanist holds up a familiar looking rune.  It looks similar to how they looked in Origins.  Almost like a slab of stone with designs carved into the surface.  I can see a faint purple glow. The dwarf returns to us and places it on the table.   _I wonder how we’re going to use it?  Place my phone on it like those chargers I’ve seen?  Put the wall plug on the rune?_  Almost hesitant, I plug in the chord and place the plug itself onto the rune.  All three of us watch in anxiousness at the phone. I pray the charging symbol will come up.  But after about ten seconds, nothing happens.

“Hey, no biggie.”  Dagna says, trying to stay positive.  "You said this goes into the wall, your Worship?”  I scratch my head, unsure how to describe it.

“Well, sorta.  It’s a specific plug.  Kinda like two holes the prongs go into.  I don’t think there’s anything between them.”  Now Dagna nods.

“Let’s make some holes then!”  But just as we’re about to get down to brass tacks, the door bursts open.  It’s a guard.

“Your Worship!”  He calls over to me.  “There’s trouble in the forge!  Your companions are fighting. You’re needed.”  I turn to Dagna and Dorian.

“Can you two keep experimenting?  And not break my phone in the process?”  They each nod.

“Of course, your Worship.”

“Naturally.”  I grin and give them two thumbs up.

“Thank you both!  I love you!”

* * *

 

The second I rush into the forge, I hear two people scuffling upstairs.  As I bolt up the steps as fast as my little legs will take me, I hear a familiar Seeker sound very, very angry.   _I know what cutscene this is…_

“You knew where Hawke was all along!”  When I get to the top, I see Cassandra holding Varric by his collar.  He shoves her off, sounding angrier than I’ve ever heard him before.

“You’re damned right I did!”  Cassandra gears up for a swing.

“You conniving!"  She misses, Varric ducking out of the way in time.  “Little shit!” Varric now rushes over to the other side of the table, closest to me on the landing.

“You kidnapped me!  You interrogated me!  What did you expect?” Now I quickly march forward to get in between them.

“Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!  Zip it!” Cassandra looks both flummoxed and angry.

“You’re taking his side?”  She asks, sounding hurt. _Good lord you two._

“I said: Zip it!”  Varric takes the opportunity to move more behind me.  Cassandra sounds a little winded, but much calmer than trying to deck people.

“We needed someone to lead this Inquisition.  First, Leliana and I searched for Fenrir Tabris, but he has vanished.  Then he looked for Hawke, but he was gone, too. We thought it all connected, but no.”  Now she glares directly at Varric. “It was just you. You kept him from us.” She says with an accusatory tone.

“The Inquisition has a leader!”  Varric defends himself, pointing at me.

 

“Hawke would have been at the Conclave!”  Cassandra continues. “If anyone could have saved Most Holy...”   _This might be part of her grief.  What were the stages again? Denial.  Anger. Bargaining. Depression. Acceptance._

“Cass, you can’t change what happened back then…”  She doesn’t really like this response.

“So I must accept… what?  That the Maker wanted this to happen?  That He… That He…” She lowers her head.  She sounds so hurt, almost choked. Almost like a little girl.  “Even after the Conclave, when we needed Hawke the most, Varric kept him secret.”  Varric continues to argue.

“He’s with us now.  We’re on the same side!”  The Seeker sneers at him.

“We all know who’s side your on, Varric.  It will never be the Inquisition’s.”

“Cassandra!”  I snap at her.  Both adults look briefly surprised.  “How can you say something like that?  I know you’re upset, but that is uncalled for!”  Either in defeat or out of anger, she turns from us to lean against a railing, her head ducked as she speaks.

“I must not think of what could have been…”  She mutters quietly. “We have so much at stake.”  She doesn’t turn her head as she addresses the dwarf.  

“Go, Varric.  Just go.” He and I both share a long look.  After a few moments, he quietly takes his leave.  But, before he goes down the steps, he turns to make one last remark.

“You know what I think?  If Hawke had been at the temple, he’d be dead, too.  You people have done enough to him”

 

Everything is quiet as Varric’s footsteps dissipate.  After the door below angrily closes and the sounds of hammers pick up, Cassandra speaks.  I don’t know if it’s to herself or me.

“I… believed him.”  Her voice picks up in volume as she speaks.  “He spun his story for me and I swallowed it.  If I’d just explained what was at stake… If I’d just made him understand…”  Now she stands up straight and sinks down into a nearby chair.

“But I didn’t, did I?  I didn’t explain why we needed Hawke.”  Slowly, I walk over to her and sit on the floor by her chair.  Cassandra makes no comment or ever turns her head. “I’m such a fool.”  She mutters into her hands.

“If you’d have tracked Hawke down anyway?  What would you have done?” After debating for a moment, she shakes her head.

“Honestly, Hawke might not have agreed to become Inquisitor.  He stepped down from the position of Viscount because of his guilt.  I see that now. No, he’d have refused.” Now she raises her head as she sighs and looks at me.  “But this isn’t about Hawke, or even Varric. Not truly.” She admits.

“I should have been more careful.  I should have been smarter. I don’t deserve-”

“Cass, please.  You’re being hard on yourself.  It’s okay.” _If anyone doesn’t deserve to be here, it’s probably me._  The Seeker only frowns to herself.

“No, it isn’t.  I’m not hard enough, I think.”

“Come on, Cass… You can’t believe that.”  After another sigh, she looks me in the eyes.

“I want you to know, I have no regrets.  Maybe if we’d found Hawke or Fenrir, the Maker wouldn’t have needed to summon you from your home.  And yet, he did.”

 

Now, Cassandra slowly rises.  Slowly, but more sure of herself.

“You’re… not what I pictured our savior to be.  But if I’ve learned anything, it’s that I know less than nothing.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Just wanted to let you all know I made a tumblr for my writing! Wanna ask me questions? Want me to fill out asks for me or my characters? Headcanons?! You guys wanna see some pictures?! Come on down and check it out! (Please. It would make me happy!) Thank you!
> 
> Tumblr:  
> https://pyroraptorwrites.tumblr.com/


	41. Cheap Laughs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I don't think medieval Europe had chocolate chips but I'll let it slide.
> 
> https://pyroraptorwrites.tumblr.com/

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also, I've made a tumblr for 'Swords and Anchors and Elves'. I've posted a couple moodboards and dollmaker pictures. Come on down and take a look! Ask me something! Got questions? Headcanons? Want me to fill out a meme for a character? I'll do it!
> 
> https://pyroraptorwrites.tumblr.com/

When I wake up early that morning, I’m still sore.  My party and I got back from the Fallow Mire around midday yesterday.  Luckily, Josie and Leliana have been spending the week keeping the Orleasans and Fereledens happy. _And I honestly don’t know if I prefer them to the swamp corpses or the other way around._ _But at least we got the missing soldiers back with minimal casualties.  Well, except the Avvar leader. I kind of accidentally made him explode._   I laugh to myself as I try to get comfortable on this cloud mattress.  I’m still not used to this room. The bed feels a little too plush. The windows are huge and let in too much sunlight.  I barely sleep in anymore and that’s one of my favorite things to do. _What do I do?  I feel too awake to lie here, but I still feel sleepy.  Dagna and Dorian almost have a prototype charger ready, but until then I can’t use my phone._  As if to suggest something, my stomach makes some noises.   _Oh yeah, eating.  I’m hungry._

I hop out of bed into the cold morning air and move to find some jeans.  As I yank them on, I wince as the cloth pulls at the hairs on my legs. _What I wouldn’t give for a razor…_  I throw on a t-shirt and pull on some old tennis shoes.   _At least I have my old clothes back.  Granted, Josie suggested- more like subtly ordered- that I shouldn’t wear my world’s fashion in front of the nobles here.  But they probably aren’t awake and today I just don’t feel like putting in the amount of effort required to put on their fourteenth century outfits that Viv ordered for me_ .  With my iPod in my back pocket, I step out onto the balcony as I fish for a song.  I finally settle on my ‘Pop’ playlist on random. _It’s kinda cold.  Not snow temperatures, but cold enough that it bugs me.  Why can’t these mountains be tropical?_  I double back to my wardrobe for a denim jacket and start to make my way for the winding staircase down.

 

As I slowly creaked open the door to the main hall, I don’t see any motion or hear anything as I slide my way out the door and shut it gently.  None of the usual folks who haunt the place are here. I can see some servants coming out of the undercroft or rotunda. The only other’s here are Varric, Hawke, and Bethany all sitting by the fire.  I get a better look as I start making my way to the hall the connects Josie’s office and the stairs to the lower levels. I see Varric looking at a envelope. He frowns momentarily before chucking it into the fireplace, where a few other letters are burning.   _Ah, Merchant's Guild stuff._  Varric then waves at me.  Obliging him, I pop my earbuds out and walk over to the three of them.

“Mornin’ Dots.”  I flash a brief peace sign.  Hawke gives a nod and his sister smiles and waves.

“Hey, guys.  What’s up?” Varric shrugs as he tosses another envelope into the fireplace.

“Just dealing with my junk mail backlog.”  Hawke smiles a little.

“You know if you answered them, Varric, they wouldn’t send you so many letters at once.”  

“I’m not giving them that satisfaction, Lach.”  Bethany smiles at their antics before turning to me.

“So what are you up to, Inquisitor?”  I shrug a little as I point behind me.

“I was gonna filch somethin’ from the kitchen.”  My eyes dart between the three of them. _I don’t see any food or drink on the table between them._ “Want me to grab you guys anything while I’m there?”  I see Bethany and Hawke look a little surprised at my offer.  Varric looks much more chipper at the mention of food.

“Hey, if you’re offering, whatever you find is good for me.  Lach? Sunshine?” Lachdanan briefly looks disappointed, then shakes his head.

“I’m fine, thank you.  I’m still waiting on a shipment of coffee from Antiva the Ambassador ordered a few weeks ago.” _Huh, I didn’t take him for a coffee drinker._  I turn to his sister.

“You want anything, Beth?”  Her eyebrows raise up a little at me address her so casually.

“If you happen to find a pastry or tart, I won’t mind.”  I give them a couple finger guns as I start to walk back towards the door.

“Got ‘chu!  Brb!” I turn around a little too fast, so I didn’t get to see their reaction to the slang.

 

As I make my way down to the kitchen, I feel like I’m in a spy thriller.  I know the cook tends to be picky on who can take food. Sera is banned from the kitchen entirely.  She keeps taking their jam and other things. Cole, I know, has taken some turnips while I was gone, but he had a reason for that.  Sera still confuses me. _Who just straight up eats jam?  Like, did she eat it with bread or just from the jar?_  Thankfully, nobody's in here at the moment, so I can snoop as I please.

I find a tray of fruit tarts on the main table. _I guess if I nick one for Bethany the staff won’t mind.  Should I leave a note saying it was me? I don’t want to get one of the staff in trouble… Plus what do I put it on?  These guys don’t have paper towels. I wonder what flavor Beth would like? Uhh, I’ll just grab a red one._  I take a small metal plate from a rack and grab what is probably a cherry tart.  On another part of the table is a tray of muffins. I can see blueberry, another kind of berry, cinnamon, possibly banana, and score!  I see one row of the holy grail of muffins, chocolate chips. _I didn’t even think they had chocolate chips…  Well, elves can shoot fire out of their hands and naps suck me into a green holodeck, so I guess this can slide._  I nick a blueberry muffin for Varric and a chocolate chip one for myself.  I can’t say I’m not tempted to also grab another to shove into my mouth, but nah, better not.  Instead, I grab another tart for Lachdanan. I never really thought about what he might eat, but it’s there in case he gets peckish or something.

 

“Alright, way to go, Dots!”  Varric cheers as I come back with the plate.  As soon as I slide it to the center of the table, Bethany pulls a chair out.

“Why don’t you join us?” _Yo, I’ve been accepted into the Krew!  Awesome! I wish more of the companions were here.  Getting to know Isabela and Merrill would’ve been really cool._  I gratefully nod as I plunk down into the chair.

“Thanks,” I tell her as I start to unwrap the muffin.  Bethany eagerly goes for a tart. After the dwarf chucks another envelope into the fire, he sets the stack aside and grabs the blueberry muffin.  Lachdanan, meanwhile, doesn’t reach for the second tart I grabbed. He leans back in the chair, one arm across the back and one foot on a knee. He’s not wearing his armor right now, just some casual tunic.  Bethany still wears her apostate look, but there’s no staff in sight.

“You know,”  Varric starts talking, sound much more relaxed then he’s been in awhile.  “Never really thought when all this started that the mage rebellion would join the Inquisition as free allies.”  I hear Bethany hum in agreement as she wipes some crumbs from her face. _She wolfed that one.  I only have half the top of my muffin down._

“I’m glad you didn’t conscript them,”  Bethany admits to me. “And that you allowed them to leave if they wished…  Not many people would do that for a mage.” I chew and swallow the rest of the top of my muffin. _It’s so great to have chocolate again._

“Mages are people too, ya know?  I just thought it would be right to give them the same option anyone else has.  Especially after we learned the Templars were being forced to take red lyrium, I’m not too keen on making anybody do anything they don’t wanna.”  I see Hawke bob his head out of the corner of my eye.

“Speaking of the red stuff,”  Varric starts. “What you saw in that strange future in Redcliffe?  With the red lyrium growing out of people? That’s… bad. Finding more of it really punches a hole in my ‘Red lyrium at the temple was a coincidence’ theory.  This darkspawn managed to take the worst thing I can think of, and somehow, makes it worse. But, hey, enough doom and gloom.” Varric changes the subject on himself and turns to me.

“How was the Fallow Mire?”  I frown at my muffin.

“Eh.”  I mumble as I tear it in half and shove part of it in my mouth.  “Gould ‘ave een erse.” _Talking with a muffin in my cheek is hard._  I manage to swallow.

“I only cried, like, five times.  I think that’s an accomplishment.”  I see Hawke’s eyebrows knit in confusion.

“Cried?”  Varric gestures to me after taking a bite.

“Dots here isn’t a fan of corpses, walking or otherwise.”

“Eheguaw!”  I shudder and make an exaggerated face.  “Catherine no likey!” Bethany nods in agreement.

“I remember all those skeletons we fought on Sundermount…  Awful!”

“So, Dots, what are you going to do to celebrate?”  Varric gives an amused look as he gives me a pat on the shoulder.

“Uhhh…”  I trail off.  “I wanna find Barkspawn and hug him.”  The dwarf looks highly amused.

“You’re going to hug a dog?”

“Or maybe find some cats.  Probably both. Speaking of which, have any of you seen Barkspawn?  I crashed yesterday after we got back.” Bethany and Lach shake their heads.

“For the most part, he’s been following the King about.  I’d imagine he’s in the King’s chambers.” I pout a little at the buzzkill Hawke gave.

“Maaan…”

 

After more nobles started arriving I excused myself from the main hall.   _I don’t really want to get in trouble today._  I find myself wandering back near the stables.  I see Master Dennet brushing one of the larger ones.  Blackwall, meanwhile, sits on a stool in the bar, carving at some hunk of wood.  The Warden smiles warmly as I approach.

“Hello there, lass.  How are you doing after the Mire?”  I shrug.

“Still kinda sore.  I’m just grateful the gunk comes off.  Have you examined the Warden artifacts we found yet?”  The bearded man shakes his head.

“Unfortunately no, but I’m grateful you brought me to find them.  Getting to be there was good.” I nod as I peer at whatever is in his hands.

“What’cha carving?”  He looks a little surprised I noticed.

“Oh, this?  Just part of a rocking horse I’m working on.  For the children here. I figured moving to Skyhold might be stressful for them, so this should help them settle.”

“That’s really nice of you.”  Blackwall’s gaze goes down as I compliment him.

“Oh, I don’t know about that.  Just doing what I can, is all.”

 

In a bolder move, I pull out another stool and sit beside him.  It’s a little rickety, but I’ll be fine.

“Sorry I haven’t been around to talk much.”  I try to make conversation. Blackwall gives a quiet chuckle.

“You don’t have to apologize.  I imagine you’re busy with your new duties.”  I shake my head.

“That doesn’t excuse it, though.  You’re my friend.” Blackwall’s knife stops suddenly after I call him that.  “Sooo, what’cha think of our new fort?” This change in topic seems to revive him.

“I’ve checked the ramparts.  Good, strong fortifications. We’ll be able to see Corypheus coming from miles away.”

“Ye!”  I give a thumbs up in agreement.  “We’ll punch that smoke monster in the face!  He won’t get the once over on us again!” My enthusiasm makes Blackwall laugh.   _It’s good to make him smile.  I know he feels down about himself a lot.  I’m glad I can make it a little better._

“True.  I admit I’m still surprised at how many people you saved by evacuating Haven.  We didn’t lose as many as we could have.” Now he grows a little quieter as he grows serious.  “And when Corypheus attack you, he made it personal. I swear, I’ll take that twisted bastard down if he so much as looks at you again, even if I have to die-”  I panic and start waving my hands around.

“Hey, hey hey hey, whoa!  I can’t let you die for me!  I can’t let anyone die for me like that!”  Blackwall has a look of sadness in his eyes at that.

“You can’t afford to think I’m, or any of us, are special.  I’m a soldier, no different than any soldier who serves with the Inquisition.  I am fond of you, it’s true,” He says as he places a hand on my shoulder and briefly squeezes.  “But you can’t let it be used against you. Any of us could die in battle. If that happens, you’ll have to move forward.  If Corypheus caught you in a moment of weakness, it could all be over for us.” I frown at him while my legs dangle in the chair.

“But you’re my friend!  I care about you! I don’t want you to throw your life away for me.”

“Lassie, you’re the Inquisitor, the Herald of Andraste.  So many people have pledged themselves to our cause. They’re willing to die to save the world.  Every leader learns they can’t get too close to their comrades when things get serious. We’re both bound by duty.”

“Pffft!”  I ruffle my lips in response.  He looks shocked- nearly drops his wood.  “You’re my friend, I care about you, you aren’t dying on my watch.  Sorry buddy, but I’m not a chivalrous knight who galivants around and charges at dudes with long sticks.”  After a few moments, he looks touched. Then after I mention the ‘sticks’ part, he gets a little huffy.

 

“Jousting.”  He corrects me.  “It’s called jousting.”  I nod along and give him a shoulder punch.

“Yeah, that stuff, Beardy man!  See, it’s good I’ve got you here with us!  Who else would’ve corrected me?” Eventually, he sighs and caves in with a smile.  Blackwall sets the carving knife and wood aside. He gazes out at the merchant stalls and bustling people.  It’s a few quiet, calm moments before he speaks.

“I admit, it’s good to be part of something so important.  Something that can change things.” Now he laughs at himself.  “Makes me sound like a Chantry sister, doesn’t it? Some giddy new initiate.  But so be it. You have my loyalty. And… girlish enthusiasm.” He adds. I eagerly nod along.

“That’s what I’m about, son.”  Blackwall shakes his head at my antics.  After a few seconds, he rises and begins to walk behind me.  I spin around so I can still see him.

“‘You are who you choose to follow.’”  He quotes. “I wonder what that makes me to you?”

“A monkey’s uncle!”  I spit out. Blackwall laughs again.  

“You and Sera are going to be the death of me.”  I give him a cheeky grin. After his laughter dies down, he continues where he left off.

 

“Someone told me that once.  Took me years to understand what he meant.  It was a chevalier who said those words to me.  A powerful man, but never without honor. A true knight.  We met as competitors in the Grand Tourney. He left me with that advice before we parted.”  Now he smiles again to himself, a mixture of fondness and regret. “Put aside his own ambitions to help me win the melee.  I don’t think I ever thanked him.” I blink up at him, confused.

“The Grand what huh?”  Now he looks surprised.

“The Grand Tourney of the Free Marches!  You’ve never heard of it? Don’t your people have something like that?”  I bite my check and wiggle my hand.

“Ehh, sorta?  I mean, we did, but not anymore.  I know about video game tourneys, but I don’t think they’re the same?”   _I won one in college.  A Smash Bros. one. I got third place and got a backpack.  Marth all the way!_  The Warden looks blindsided at ‘video games’ but explains for me.

“It’s a spectacle.  Song, dance, wine. Every amusement you can image.  But the greatest part is the contest of arms. Prove yourself in the Grand Tourney and you can make a fortune.”

“Neat!”  I exclaim, my legs swinging back and forth again.  “So how’d the Chevalier help you?” Blackwall now leans against his workbench as he talks.

 

“There were a hundred men on the field.  Each one fighting for himself. The knight and I formed an alliance.  It was just the two of us, and we took all comers. The goal of the melee is to down as many opponents as possible.  He always let me deliver the final blow.” I nod along. _He tells good stories.  Almost as good as Varric._

“Do you know why he helped you out like that?”  Blackwall shrugs.

“A pupil?  A squire? Someone to teach and mold.  He saw my potential. When it was over, he offered to mentor me. To teach me to become a Chevalier like him.  And I, young and stupid, turned him down flat. I’d just won the melee at the Grand Tourney. I didn’t need him.  Perhaps things would have been different if I’d have gone with him…”

“But then you might not have joined us.”

“True.”  He says as he nods.  “But I’m older now, and hopefully wiser.  In the end, I think I made the right choice on who to walk with.”  I can’t hide my smile from him.

“Shucks, dude!  Just then, there’s a knock on the entrance to the barn.  I see Blackwall immediately blush and stands up straighter.

“Lady Montilyet!”  He bows to her. I see her smile and nod back to him.

“Ser Blackwall.  Inquisitor, may I have a moment of your time?  There is a matter in the Great Hall that requires your attention.”

 

* * *

 

“You want me to do what?”  I stage whisper at Josie as we stand in front of the throne.  I hear the murmur of a crowd gathering in the hall behind us.

“It is where the Inquisition will sit in judgment.  Where you will sit in judgment.”

“Ah, uh, wha- I didn’t sign up for this?  What am I ‘judging’ anyway?” She frowns at my use of air quotes.

“Those who have done wrong.  You will know of them, at the very least.  This presumes they survived their initial encounter with you, unlike the Avvar you fought.”

“Haha yeah, I made him explode.”  Now she looks startled and a little perplexed.

“The report says you punched him.  And he exploded?” I nod along.

“Yes, ma’am.  It was gross.”

“How did you make a man explode with a punch?”  I frown to myself. How do I explain it?

“It was a **falcon** punch."  I supply.  "And, well, it was more like a couple punches.  For as big as the Avvar are, they don't wear a lot of armor.”  She slowly nods, in a confused and concerned fashion.

“Either way, you derive power from your allies, as you see before us.  They both validate and hinder you. Justice has many tools. If you are clever, execution may seem merciful by comparison to whatever you choose.”  I glance between the chair and my Ambassador. _It’s almost the same shade of red as Steve’s thinking chair.  But that looked comfier. And didn’t have spikes._

“Fiiine.”  I mumble as I walk over and sit on the edge of the seat.   _It’s hard and cold.  This is terrible. I demand a refund!_  “Let’s get this show on the road.”

 

At this, Josie signals a couple guards to drag a man forward.  He’s Avvar and wears a headdress with large horns that covers his eyes.  He’s brought before me. Josie, with all the grace of a courtroom lawyer, gestures to him and begins her opening statement.

“After you returned from the Mire, this morning we discovered this man attacking,”  She pauses to re-read the report. “...The building. With a goat.”

“It was two goats!”  The man before us corrects her.  Josie frowns briefly to herself.

“...With two goats.  Before you, Inquisitor, is Chief Movran the Under.  He feels slighted by the killing of his Avvar tribesmen.  Who repeatedly attacked you first. What should we do with him?  Where should he go?” I glance around the room. People are beginning to murmur.

“Are the goats okay?”  The chief just laughs as he steps forward.

“The mighty and powerful Inquisitor sits in judgment and asks after goats?  This is unnecessary! You made my idiot son explode, and I answered, as is my custom, by smacking your holdings with goat’s blood.”  Josie and those in front are quiet. _If I glance over people’s heads, I think I can see Cassandra and Solas watching.  Maybe some others are back there too. I know I can see Bull, that’s obvious._  I start to slouch in the chair.

“So what part of the wall did you hit?”  He looks at me in confusion.

“The outer wall.”  Josephine supplies for me.  Movran speaks up.

“No foul.  He meant to murder Tevinters but got feisty with your Inquisition.  A red-headed mother guarantees a brat. Do as you’ve earned, Inquisitor.  My clan yields. My remaining boys still have their heads intact!” He laughs at his own joke.  I glance at Josie.

“What do I do?”  She looks a little worried.

“Judge him as you see fit.”

 

I slouch more in the chair.  What do I do? I feel bad just passing judgment.  There should be a jury. And lawyers. And… wait, I know something I can do!  Quickly, I stand up, raising my hand to silence the crowd.

“Alright, Josie what are my options?”  She thinks for a few moments.

“You could place him in a gibbet, drive the Avvar out, or exile them.”  I nod in thanks and clear my throat.

“All those in favor for the gibbet, say ‘Aye’.”  The crowd is remarkably quiet. I frown. “You know you guys can say something?  All those in favor for the gibbet, say ‘Aye’.” Eventually, some people start talking.  Only a few people say ‘Aye’ but mostly it’s a chorus of horses.

“Those in favor for driving him out?”  There are even more horses, much louder and more angry at the idea.  “Those in favor for giving Tevinter a present?” Finally, the people like something.  I think I hear Bull above them, but I can’t be sure.

“Alrighty then!”  I clap my hands and address the Avvar in front of me.  I feel a lot more confident now. Like I’m giving a presentation in speech class.  “For your crimes of animal cruelty and… I guess that’s really it? I’m exiling you with as many weapons as you got, to Tevinter.  Go give ‘em hell or something. Whatever you guys believe in.” Along with the crowd, Movran seems just as pleased.

“It seems my idiot son got us something after all!”  He laughs as he starts to walk away. I turn back to Josie.

“Am I done now?”  She nods.

“You are finished.”

“Yes!  Also, that chair sucks.  Can we get a recliner? A sofa?  Something less pointy? I’m not a Targaryen over here.”


	42. It's Like A Party

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> https://pyroraptorwrites.tumblr.com/

Just as I get my footing on the pony Dennett supplied, Leliana taps my shoulder.

“Inquisitor, one moment before you go.”  I turn around to see her with Barkspawn at her side.  The poor boy looks sad and whines as he looks between her and I.

“Aw, what’s a matter, honey?”  Leliana chuckles.

“It would seem our King has gone missing.”  I blink a few times. _The King?  Al left? When?  Why? How?_

“How’d you lose a whole Alistair?  When?” She shrugs.

“His aides went to wake him an hour ago so he may send you off, but Alistair was nowhere to be found.  It’s likely he left in the night.” I notice she looks around briefly and between the dog and I. She gives him a loving pat on the head.  “Barkspawn is an excellent tracker and may be of use in finding our King.” I tilt my head.

“You want me to take Barkspawn to Crestwood?”  She smiles to herself.

“If I know Alistair, he wouldn’t keep his nose out of Warden business.  Especially with the reports of them looking for Stroud.” I grin and smile at the dog.  He perks up a little.

“How’s about a road trip, boy?”  My pony neighs or whatever the proper horse term is as I hop up onto him.  His head turns to look at Leliana as she hands him half of an apple.

"Safe journeys, Inquisitor."  I smile and nod back at her while I give the pony a pat on the head.

"Say 'bye bye' Lil' Sebastian!" 

* * *

 

 

Crestwood is even bleaker than in the game.  The rain keeps coming down in sheets. We’ve only just got the water level down in the lake and my cloak is soaked.  The rain only adds to the atmosphere. All the buildings of Old Crestwood are water damaged and half-collapsed. Seaweed and algae hang from the roofs and beams above us.  It smells strange and awful. Like gross lake water. I suppose that’s what it is, though. I lead my group of Cassandra, Cole, Solas, and Barkspawn through the rocky, muddy lakebed to the caves.  As we pass by the houses, a sign stops me. A woman’s voice with a strange echo calls out, yelling at whatever is near. As I clamber to a former doorway, I see who’s talking. It’s a red spirit. I can sort of see a feminine outline, almost like a glitch on a computer.  Parts of her are there, but they flicker and morph with every second. I can only stare in wonder. I’ve never seen anything like-

“You!  You there!”  It points at me.  I jump at the inflection.  “I order you to tell me why nothing here heeds my commands!”  Solas quickly joins me, a youthful eagerness in his eyes.

“A lost spirit.  This should-”

“Silence!”  The spirit cuts him off.  “Let the small one talk!” I see Cassandra watching with the dog from the outside of the house, looking cautious.  Cole has silently placed himself beside Solas and I. I turn to Cole and slightly nudge him forward.

“Do you want to try helping, Cole?”  After a moment of doubt, he nods.

“Maybe.”  He says, stepping forward hesitantly.  “My name is-” The spirit is annoyed.

“Ugh, Compassion.  Did I ask your name?”  Cole quickly steps back, meekly like a schoolboy.

“Sorry.”  Now I wave Cass over.  She begrudgingly steps closer but maintains her distance.  Barkspawn takes the opportunity to start chewing at a stick he found on the ground.

 

“Think there’s a chance we’d have a demon on our hands?”  She slowly shakes her head as she peers at the red, ghostly visage.

“There is always a chance, however small.  ‘Harmless’ spirits do not always remain so.”

“Nonsense.”  The spirit interjects, the flickering image giving the impression it’s crossed its arms.  “I am in control of my fate!” _Okay, Vivbot 2.0…_  Now I glance up at Solas, who gazes intently as he examines.

“Hey Dad, this is your thing, right?”  The elf, too lost in thought immediately starts explaining.

“This realm follows different rules from the Fade.  Will alone can not-” Then he stops and frowns at me.  “ **Dad**?”  He questions.  I smirk up at him.  I hear Cassandra try to hide a snort.  Barkspawn barks in agreement. I see a tiny smile bloom on Cole’s face.

“Happy.  Familiar.  Love. Not alone anymore.  Friendship and family. One in the same.”  His smile grows as he glances at me. “We’re your family.”  I nod at him.

“Yeah, you’re like my little brother.”  Solas just huffs and tries not to look at either of us.  “Hey Dad, can you adopt Cole so he can be my brother?” Now the elf’s eyes are wide before settling into a long sigh.

“Inquisitor, Cole is not fully human.  You should respect his nature as a spirit-”

“I am still here!”  The spirit again interjects.  “You will not ignore me! Answer my question, I command it!”  I hold out my hands.

“Okay, okay, settle down, yeesh.  So what do you represent, exactly?  Are you like, Wisdom or Justice, or something?”  I can see its nose turn up and barely hear it snort above the rain.

“Soft virtues, all.  I am more. I am Command.”

“Or Pomposity.”  I hear Solas mutter under his breath.  Now the spirit floats closer to my face, peering at me like it can’t understand.

“What of you?  I felt your coming.  Is there something alike in us?”  Now I take the opportunity to pull my glove off, showcasing the Mark.

“My hand does funky things to rips in the fabric of space.”

“Then you are less than I thought.”  I resist the urge to snort and put my glove back on.

“So what’s the bother about this world?”  Now the spirit floats to the center of the room and twirls around, arms wide.

“It ignores me!  I order the rocks to part, but they do not.  I bid the clouds to part, and they stay still!  I don’t know how you mortals stand it.” Now the spirit crosses its arms as it hovers again.  I feel a grumpy vibe from this Command.

“So why not go back to your home?”  I bet if the spirit could stamp its foot, it would.

“I will not be denied.  I refuse to leave until something obeys my orders!”  

 

I grumble in annoyance as I glance at my companions.   _This was fun in the game, but now I understand the frustration._  Both Cassandra and Solas look vexed.  Cole seems preoccupied with other’s emotions.  Barkspawn is being a dog. _Nobody’s going to do anything.  Might as well be me._

“Fine then, whaddya want?”  The spirit hovers for a moment before flickering closer.

“I beg your pardon?”

“Whaddaya want me to do?”  Command looks huffy again.

“Speak plainly!”  I bite my cheek as I think of a comeback.

“Forsooth, I doth feel compelléd to aid thee, yonder sprite.  Therefore, I shalt but pledge mineself humbly into thy service.”  My elven Dad shoots me a look and wacks me on the top of the head with his boomstick.  I frown back at him. “Ow-ith.” I complain. Command, however, seems pleased.

“Most excellent!  I have only one command.  A creature of Rage had the gall to chase me across the lake.  Destroy it in my name and be rewarded!” I see both Solas and Cassandra nod in agreement.

“Killing a demon is worthy of us, at least.”  Cassandra states. I now turn my sights back to the cave.

“Alrighty then, guess we gotta do some spelunking, close a rift, and punch a lava monster.  Barkspawn!” The rest of my companions have begun to follow me, but the dog keeps chewing on his toy.  “Comere boy!” He borks in reply and runs to us, stick in mouth.

 

Barkspawn whines as we start to enter the Dwarven ruins under Crestwood lake.  I pat his head lightly.

“I don’t like it either, boy.”  Just then, there’s a burst of heat as we round the corner.  I see the lava monster prowling the halls, looking for something.

“The Rage demon!”  Cassandra yells out, drawing the monsters attention.  As it spots us, it’s eyes narrow in amusement.

“So prey comes to me at last!”  It says in a deep voice, similar to the ‘Mortal Kombat’ announcement.  I never actually played MK, but I did play another series that was quite similar.  I focus quickly, gripping the shortsword and round shield in my hand as I start to book it for the demon.

“What are you doing?!”  Cassandra calls out from behind me.  I skid to a stop and turn over my shoulder.  Thankfully, the hairband keeps the hair from my face.  I’d prefer it if the skirt was shorter, but at least the boots are nice.

“I’m going all out!”  I yell as I start running for the demon again, leaping and driving my feet into its face.  It’s a warm sensation, almost like stepping onto a heat grate on the floor. But at least it isn’t actually like touching lava.  That would not end well for me. I’m able to hop over the demon and land behind him, immediately I go into a fighting stance. My feet move back and forth as I bob in place, waiting for it to make a move.  It feels just like playing ‘Soul Calibur II’ as a kid again. The demon, as soon as it recovers, only laughs at my attempt.

“Soon I shall see the land of the living through your eyes, mortal.”

“Ugh!!”  I scoff in disgust as I mimic Cassandra’s pose where she sticks the sword under her arm.  “You’re definitely not my type!” As the demon is distracted, the Dragon Age Cassandra slashes at it with her blade.  I quickly take up slashing the front of the demon, doing the same motion over and over like I’m mashing the A button. The look of surprise is clear in the demon’s eyes as it starts to try and flee from us.  I frown as I start to bolt after him.

“Get back here!”  I yell as I start running though Cassandra’s grab move in my mind.  As soon as I catch up with the fiery demon, I stab him and use the sword to jump up onto his head.  I kick down as hard as I can to knock him over before I pull the blade from it. I hear a groan from the Rage demon as it lays there, the bubbling lava turning black.  In a few moments, the demon fades into ash like it was never even there. My party catches up to me, looking wide-eyed. _Hey, I did it!  I actually did it!_  As I grin, I mimic her victory pose. _K.O!  The winner is… Cassandra!_

“That’s the lesson for today!”  My voice bounces around the tall ruin we stand in.  Solas shakes his head at me.

“Perhaps you ought to be less reckless when chasing down a demon of rage?”  He asks as I quickly turn back into myself.

“But winning is all that matters!”

 

* * *

 

 

By the time we seal the rift, back out the cave, inform Command they can go back to the Fade, walk out of the old lake basin, back to the fort, then FINALLY back to the camp near where Hawke wanted to meet, I’m sore.  Worse than sore. I’m going to fall down and drop dead. I plunk down on a log while we catch a break. Now that the rain has stopped, Cassandra and Solas are inspecting the fortifications at the fort we took down the road.  Cole elected to stay at the campsite with me. He sits cross-legged on the grass, looking out.

“The mayor dreams about this place.  Shock and shame and hurt. He hurt people to save others.”  He looks at me for guidance. “I don’t know why.”

“Well,”  I start to explain as I try to remember this quest.  “He did it because he thought Blight refugees would infect his town.  In his mind, he was stopping an epidemic. But what he did was wrong.”  Cole nods firmly in agreement. _What happened to Crestwood is just like Old Tien’s Landing.  Jade Empire was fun. I should have finished that game._

“He teaches them to fight with a fatal flaw, part of a glorious strategy.”  I’m a little surprised at what Cole said, but I brush it off. He makes those references in the game and I was thinking about Jade Empire.   _Wait… hang on!  How does Cole know about that reference he made?_

“Hey Cole, about what you just said?”  Cole glances at me again and holds my gaze.  It’s a little unnerving. His eyes seem like they stare into my soul.  I suppose they do, in a way. “How did you know that?” There’s a blink that severs the hypnotic connection.  The brim of his hat ruffles a little in the wind.

“Know what?”  I wave my hands for emphasis as I can’t think of words.

“That.  What you just said, about Jade Empire.  How did you know?” He turns away from me.

“Oh.”  

 

Now Cole sits and thinks.  He’s quiet for a couple minutes.  Sometimes, his face squishes in confusion or frowns to himself.  After a bit of this, he looks around for anyone. No soldiers are listening that we know of.

“In the Fade, back then, I only remember pieces.  Sometimes there were holes, or rips, or windows to another place.  It was a dark place. No one went there, except one person. But they went mad.  Spirits went there after they were gone. I saw things there, sometimes, when the hurt drew me.  Like what you just mentioned. Or a man who was dead, but didn’t know it. Or another place, she made him forget, so he could be better.”   _Shyamalan.  Knights of the Old Republic.  That’s how Cole knows the references?  The Fade is a window to the multiverse?  The multiverse really exists and Cole has seen it?  Spirits know about String Theory?! Could I get home that way?  Just hop into a rift, seal it shut from the other side and start wandering?  But if someone went crazy, that doesn’t sound too good._

“Is that why you never questioned that I came from another world?”  He sort of shrugs.

“It was confusing, at first.  But as I remembered, the pieces fit.  It makes sense. But if you came from a hole, how did you find it?” _I don’t remember anything about what happened.  I just remember coming to in the dungeon in Haven.  Other people have confirmed I was there after the explosion, that I fell out of the Fade.  But how did I get in the Fade anyway? It’s like I fell down a rabbit hole._  “In another moment, down went Alice after it, never once considering how in the world she was to get out again.”  He sounds a little creepy quoting out of the blue like that.

“Did you get that from the Fade or my brain?”  He says nothing on my question and keeps talking.

“But you weren’t chasing a rabbit.  Chasing a woman. Scared. Unknown. What is this?  Where am I? Red and white. And green. Then black.  You met the Big Bad Wolf.” I scoot closer to Cole on my log.   _He’s recounting something.  I know in the game the Inquisitor runs through the Fade with the Divine.  Is he recounting that somehow? Using the linked memories to tap into the spirit of Hope?  Does he know anything else?_

“Hey, Cole, do you know how I-”  But I’m cut off as a soldier approaches, with Solas, Cass behind him.

“Hello there.”  He says, sounding quite chipper through the helm.  “I simply came to deliver a message from Lachdanan Hawke, ser Inquisitor.  He is ready to meet you. Wondering what’s taking so long.” I hear Cassandra ready her ‘Ugh’ at this guy.

“Got caught up in some rift shenanigans.  Didn’t know Hawke was so big on schedules.”  I hear a laugh from through the soldier's helmet.  As I stand up, he’s a bit taller than me. He doesn’t seem as young as I am, though.  He sounds a bit older.

“Should I have asked him to write a note?”  Solas rolls his eyes.

“Had I known this glib harassment would wait I’d have stayed at Skyhold.”  He muses to himself. The soldier turns quickly, a hand flying to make sure his helmet doesn’t fall off.

“Yes, I was harassing you by delivering a message.”

“Your glibness does you no credit, ser.”  Solas almost growls in annoyance. The soldier seems to enjoy egging him on.

“And here I thought we were getting along so well.  I was even going to name one of my children after you... the grumpy one.”   _Wait, I know that line.  This is familiar! Oh. I know him.  Oh. Oh. Oh!_  Now Cassandra buts in.

“Enough!  We should see to Hawke, Inquisitor.”  I nod to her.

“You know, one good thing about a crisis is how it brings people together.”  I take a chance to smile and raise an eyebrow at the ‘soldier’. He laughs at my joke.

“I was about to say the same, your Worship.”  I can see his eyes dart nervously under the helm.  “Why are you looking at me like that?” I shrug and play off my suspicious for him.

“Just thought you seemed a little familiar, but all the Inquisition soldiers don’t take off their helmets, do they?”  He nods along.

“Anyhow, when you’re ready, let’s head back to Hawke.  I imagine he’s eager to get things started.”

 

 

When the five of us arrive, minus Barkspawn, arrive at the cavern entrance, Lachdanan is leaning against the wall.

“About time you got here.  Who’s this?” He asks, pointing at the soldier with us.  Quickly, the man starts to falter for something.

“Well, uh, you see, Ser Hawke, I-”

“He’s a scout sent by Leliana to come with us for a report back to her.  Isn’t that right?” I glance up at him and wink. I don’t know if he caught it or not.  The ‘soldier’ starts agreeing with me.

“Yes, that’s right!  Sent by Priestess Stabbity to keep an eye on things.  Please don’t tell her I called her that.” Hawke seems to buy it.  The former Champion points over his shoulder to the mouth of the cave.

“My Warden Contact should be at the back of the cave.”

“I saw some Wardens looking for your guy out near Crestwood.”  Hawke nods along.

“Then it’s good those sods didn’t think to look in here.”  Suddenly, the soldier with us interjects.

“Hey, the Wardens are good people!  They’ve just been given bad orders.”  There’s a silence after he speaks. I start to walk past Hawke.

“Come on, let’s go, guys.”

 

Slowly, I’m the first one to enter the old cave.  It’s early quiet, the only sound is water dripping from above.

“Hello?”  I call out, my voice ringing.  I keep glancing around. I know he’s in here someplace.  “Mr. Warden? Anybody-” There’s a ring of metal. The second I whip around, a sword is pointed at my neck.  The man wielding it wears heavy Warden armor. He has short hair parted on one side. His mustache reminds me of a spaghetti western actor.  

“Hey, heyheyhey, hey, what the heck Mustache?!”  I quickly start backing away from the sword but he just follows me like a fencer.  Behind me, Hawke appears and steps in front of me.

“It’s just us.  I brought the Inquisitor.”  The Warden slowly lowers the blade.

“I apologize, Inquisitor.”  He says with a thick Orleasen accent.  “I have only heard rumors of your abilities to change shape.  Yet, I heard the Inquisitor was the Hero of Ferelden?  But you’re a girl.” I quickly give an exaggerated shrug.

“I might have at one point turned into him.  Maybe that’s where it came from?” Stroud nods in agreement.

“I see.  Fenrir has not been heard from for a long while.  I suppose I had hoped he would have any information.”  As if on cue, the soldier with us walks into the room. Solas and Cass aren’t with him.

“I know Fenrir, I really doubt he’d want to be Inquisitor, anyway.  He left before any of this began. On a mission of his own…” At this, both Hawke and Stroud look concerned.

“And just who are you?”  Asks the Warden. Hawke takes a menacing step forward.  The soldier glances around. Only when I step closer and use my arms to block both men is he calmer.

“Easy, guys.  Hey, Al, I think you can take off the helmet now.”

“Wha-?  How did-”  I quickly walk over and snack the helm from his head.  As I toss it to the ground, I don’t see King Alistair. I just see Warden Alistair.  He must have shaved before he smuggled himself here. He’s also cut his hair to be shorter than it was.  Now the King of Ferelden looks defeated and sighs.

“I thought it was good too…  Do you know how difficult it was to sneak past both Leliana and Barkspawn?”  Now all three of us look at him.

“So why in the heck are you here, Al?”  Now he crosses his arms, looking more serious.

“I was a Warden once, too.  I made the Oath, I undertook the Joining.  Maker, I even saved the world from the Blight!  When I learned the Warden’s disappeared, it bothered me.  And now this Corypheus shows up and the Calling’s been going haywire!  When I learned you were going to Crestwood to seek more information on the Warden’s, I couldn’t just… sit there and play politics!  I’m a warrior, let me fight for me people!” Now he pauses and grows a little more somber. “...The Wardens were the first family I knew.  I can’t just… abandon them all. I know too well what that feels like.” Now Stroud nods and begins to speak.

“Very well, then.  My research into Corypheus has lead me to believe he may possess the same ability an Arch Demon has, to jump from blighted body to blighted body.  Around the same time I’d begun my investigation, every Warden in Orlais began to hear the calling.” Now Stroud leads us to a table with some maps strewn about.

“Not just in Orlais,”  Alistair cuts in. “I’ve been hearing it in Ferelden for months.  It got stronger after arriving at Skyhold… closer to Orlais.”

“So every Warden in southern Thedas thinks they’re dying?”  Hawke asks as he glances to both Wardens for confirmation.

“Yes.”  Stroud confirms his worst nightmare.  “Likely because of Corypheus. If the Warden's fall, who will stand against the next Blight?  That is our greatest fear.” I can see the fear in Alistair. As usual, he tries to downplay the seriousness with a joke.

“I can think of a few things worse.  Running into Morrigan again, for one.”    _That’s it.  I have to. I have no choice._  Quickly, I change my voice to Morrigan’s, taking care to remain behind Alistair.

“Afraid I’ll turn you into a toad, then?”  He whips around, his eyes wide as he can only find me behind him.

“D… Did you…  But how?” I give a shrug and look around.

“What, me?  Nah. A lizard did it.”  Al purses his lips and crosses his arms.

“Riiight…”  I clap my hands to get back on track.  Stroud and Hawke both look displeased.

“So, scared Wardens act desperate because a crazy dude is mimicking the Calling.  Fun stuff, right?”

“The Wardens believe this Calling is real, and they will act accordingly.  That is all we know for certain.”

“Well, dying people who don’t have their head on straight might not go too good.”  Both Stroud and Al have become grim. Stroud continues to speak.

“Wardens are the only ones who can slay Archdemons.”  Al picks up his slack.

“And without us, the next Blight destroys the world.”

 

Now Stroud points at a spot on the map with Adamant.

“Warden-Commander Clarel spoke of a blood magic ritual to prevent future Blights before we all perished.”  At the mention of blood magic, Lachdanan goes pale. His face is contorted in anger. I see his fist is curled.  “When I protested the plan as madness, my own comrades turned on me. They are gathering at the Western Approach.”

“Of course it’s blood magic…”  Hawke practically growls. Now with his presentation done, Stroud begins to leave the way I came in.

“It is an ancient Tevinter ritual tower.  If you all would meet me there, we may find answers.”

 

The second Alistair exits the cave, he comes face to face with an angry Cassandra and an overexcited dog.  Barskspawn practically rushes to him and starts jumping up and down, trying to lick his face.

“Hey boy!  Easy there, I’m fine.  Who’s a good boy?” Cassandra now steps forward to prod him in the chest.

“Where have you been?!”  Al stops dead in his tracks and I walk straight into his back.

“Ow!”  I grumble into his breastplate.

“I was checking into the Wardens, ma’am.”

“And you abandon your duties at the drop of a hat?  I do not know if people would take kindly to this after the uproar you caused at Skyhold…”  As I rub my nose, I hear Alistair sigh to himself.

“I told Emon I didn’t want this, but nooooo, ‘You have to be King, Alistair.  It’s your duty, Alistair!’ I’d rather have become a Chantry priest at this rate.”

 

_Al, I’m sorry this was my fault I clicked the button that made you King, I’m so sorry!_  I feel Cole lightly tap me on the shoulder.

“Are you going to tell him you’re sorry?  That you were his friend?” I quickly shake my head.

“Let’s just assume that anything I tell him, he wouldn’t like.  I don’t want to freak him out more. Let’s keep this quiet? Please?”  Cole nods to me as we start to head back to camp. _At least Barkspawn is happy to see Alistair again.  That makes two of us._


	43. Dragon Age Wiki

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Took me a little longer to write this chapter. Been busy with job searches and applications! As always, comments appreciated!
> 
> https://pyroraptorwrites.tumblr.com/

After my companions and I got back to Skyhold  I hand off Lil’ Sebastian to Dennet.  _  Such a good lil’ horsey!   _ However, Barkspawn and Alistair aren’t with us.  The Warden-King elected to go with Stroud on that mission, stating the second his retainers find him he won’t be able to play hookey anymore.  And if Al were to come back he couldn’t go to Adamant with us.  _ I wonder if he’ll actually be apart of the battle?  Or the Fade section? Will I have two Wardens and Hawke to choose from?  How can I make that choice? _  I start mulling over the future as I walk past our growing amount of vendors that have set up shop near the stables.  _  I shouldn’t worry this much and make myself anxious, but I can’t help it.  I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to kill Hawke- he’s my guy and I’d make Varric sad!  Stroud I’d have an easier time with, maybe just because I hardly know a thing about him. But Al… Could I send Alistair to his death like that?  I already tried avoiding that as Fenrir. Would my Warden be upset with me? Would Alistair still try to go willingly to his death like he did in the first game? _

 

As I climb the steps to the main hall, I’m so absorbed in my thoughts I barely notice the mage waiting for me at the top.  It’s Dorian, looking very excited and jittery.

“Ah, Catherine!  Just the woman I wanted to see!”  He greets me warmly with a grin on his face.  I wave to him as I approach.

“What’s up, Dorian?”  But he doesn’t use words to explain, instead, pulling a familiar object from his pocket and holding it out to me.   _ Oh my god.  He actually…?  Did they get it?  It…? _  “You got it to charge…?”  Dorian slyly hits the power button on the side, and my phone’s screen lights up.  There’s my lock screen with that picture of Cinderella’s Castle. The time’s displayed as ‘12:01 pm’.  _  I don’t know if that’s accurate anymore. _ _ But there it is.  My phone’s charged one-hundred percent.   _ I take the phone from his hand.

“Took a few test runs, but in the end, Dagna and I were able to power your cord.  Your Anarchist was able to replicate the receiving end for the USB by carving it into a thicker lightning rune.  It works about the same as what you described you used in your world. It’s been fully charged for a few days now.”   _ They did it.  They actually did it! _

“Thank you so much!  I could not have done this without you.”  I’m so thrilled and excited my words come out fast and stuck together.  “Thankyouthankyouthankyou!” Dorian puffs himself up a little at the praise and brushes some imaginary dirt from his shoulder.

“Well, of course!”  I can hear the gratitude at being thanked in his voice.  “Now, you are going to show me that phone of yours, aren’t you?”  He says as he begins walking back to his haunt in the library- I assume.

“Yeah, sure!”   _ I immediately fall back into the old routine of walking and texting.  My old passcode is still the same. My files are all still there. My music.  My photos. The old texts and my contacts. All my apps. The wifi’s still turned off.  If Google can work, does that mean I still get data in Thedas? Can I still watch Youtube? _

  
The second Dorian and I get to his nook, I hand him my phone.  I start to give him the same explanation I gave Solas awhile back, as Dorian peers at it with eager curiosity.  But I don’t need to tell him it’s activated by touch, he just naturally starts poking it and quickly gets the hang of it.

“Marvelous…”  He says in awe as he starts opening up some boxes of apps I have on the home screen.  After hitting the ‘Google’ box, he looks up to ask a question. “What’s this ‘Gmail’?”

“For email, like an electronic letter.  A lot quicker than a raven.” He gives a quick laugh as he starts exploring more.

“Your technology is amazing…  Instant letters, voice calls, you can see the weather forecast, you lot can capture images and save them!  The wonders Thedas could do with these kinds of things…”  _ I’m glad he’s taking it like a duck to water instead of screaming ‘heathen’ and burning it or exploding it. _

 

Now Dorian Pavus and I are hunkered down by his window, watching Youtube.  He really likes the idea of videos, saying it was similar to an ancient Tevinter memory crystal.  He’s a bit disappointed mine isn’t in 3-D holograms like his, but I have color and high-quality sound.  Plus, mine are much funnier than the way the ancients used the crystals for. Mostly like journals or for spying.   _ I guess Thedas hasn’t figured out about movies yet. _  Dorian shakes his head in amusement as the latest video ends.

“The things your people have come up with.”  He says as he turns the phone upright and presses the home button.  Now he taps the phone icon and frowns to himself. “Just how do these calls work?”  The Tevinter starts scrolling through the options when I stop him.

“I have something that might answer that.”  I take the phone back and click on Google Chrome, typing in ‘Telephone Call’.  After opening the Wikipedia article, I had it back to him. “This is an online encyclopedia.  Go ahead and read through it. If you tap the blue letters, they’ll take you to another article.”  The Tevinter mage nods along with me, already starting to scan the article. I point up the staircase behind us to the rookery.

“Listen, I have some bidniss to take care of.  If I leave my phone with you, will you take care of it?”  He nods, but I can see he’s starting to get absorbed in Wikipedia.

“Mm-hmm.”  He mumbles.

“You know to charge it when the battery gets to about twenty percent?”  Another nod.

“Mm-hmm.”  I smile and start to walk off.

“Have fun!”

* * *

 

As I climb up the stairs with heavy footsteps, the sounds and smell of birds become stronger.  The rookery is filled with hanging cages and Leliana’s ravens. A few of her scouts tend to them.  Otherwise, she is alone at her desk. I see her hood is down- the first time I’ve seen it lowered- and bent over a paper.  I imagine she’s gotten used to me by now because she doesn’t look up at my approach. I see her tap the paper as I move closer.

“A list of those we lost at Haven.  The Chargers, in their survey, located the last of the missing soldier's remains.”  Now she sighs and runs a hand through her hair. Leliana’s lips are turned down at the corners as she scowls.  “You must blame me for this.” I quickly shake my head in disagreement.

“No, it was Corypheus and his army who killed our men.  It’s not your fault. You don’t have to blame yourself, Leliana.”  I see a sad look in her eyes as she glances out the window.

“I keep wondering if I could have done something different.  When the first of my lookouts went missing, I pulled the rest back, waiting for more information.  If they stayed in the field they could have bought us more time! I was afraid to lose my agents. And instead, we lost Haven, even with your advice.”

“No, that’s good that you did that.  If you hadn’t pulled them, your men would have died too.  You care about them, saving their lives is important.” I see her brows lower.  She has a biting tone as she speaks.  _ Poor, poor Leliana.  I wish the game hadn’t forced you to be hardened.  What good was it that I softened you in Origins if this was going to happen? _

“Is it?  My people know their duty, know the risks.  They understand the Inquisition may call upon them to give their lives.”  Now I cross my arms and try to take on a more authoritative tone.  _ I’m the Inquisitor now.  I’m her boss. She has to hear me out. _

“People aren’t something you can toss aside like tools.  Your instincts were right, Leliana.”

“Can we afford such sentimentality?  What if Corypheus-”

“We’re not Corypheus.”  I cut her off. Leliana remains quiet for a moment.  She keeps looking out the window, seeming solemn or melancholy.  Finally, she stands stronger and places her arms behind her back.

“I have been looking into Red Lyrium smugglers across Southern Thedas while you were at Crestwood.  Through the papers, I discovered where their main supply is; as well as that it was used to fuel the ritual that summoned Julius Caesar.  In northern Orlais, there is a Shrine of Dumat where Corypheus had Alexius perform his experiments before we caught him. I do not know if our enemies continue the practice, but investigating the temple and finding their notes may help us.  At the very least they won’t be able to summon anyone else. And perhaps with Dagna’s help, we could find a way to study this new magic.” I nod in agreement.  _ We don’t want Corphy getting any more allies.  Who knows what other people he might get? Alexander the Great?  Napoleon? Or he could get unlucky and get some random nobody. I dunno.  I don’t like any of those ideas. _

“Sounds good.  I’ll leave you to that, then.”

* * *

 

“You recall Gereon Alexius of Tevinter.  The Bannorn of Ferelden has given him to us as an acknowledgment of our aid at Redcliffe.”   Josephine reads from her clipboard on my right, as we all await the Magister to be dragged in front of my giant chair.  I grumble in annoyance as I look around me at all the Orleasian fops gathered on either side of the hall to watch, tittering like rich idiots.  The Fereldens are hiding more in the back. I can’t see from here. “The formal charges are: Apostasy, attempted enslavement, and attempted assassination on your life.”  I lean to Josie and start whispering.

“What does ‘Apostasy’ mean?”

“It means he renounced the Chantry in favor of worshiping Corypheus.”  I nod along with the explanation.  _ Is that where the word ‘Apostate’ comes from?  But if so, that makes no sense? Unless it refers to the fact they’ve rejected the Circle? _  The ambassador continues to speak to the crowd as Alexius is brought forward.  “Tevinter has disowned him and stripped him of his rank. You may judge the former magister as you see fit.”

Alexius looks completely different from when I last saw him.  His hood is off. His face looks sullen and sagged. He looks like he has nothing to live for anymore.   _ Poor guy… _

“I couldn't save my son.  Do you think my fate matters to me?”   The former Magister interjects. Josie and I look at him for a moment.  Alexius says nothing else.

“Have you nothing else to say in your defense?”  She asks. He just scowls up at me.

“You’ve won nothing.  The people you’ve saved, the acclaim you’ve gathered- you’ll lose it all in the storm to come.  Render your Judgment, Outlyer.” I lean forward and put my chin on my hands. I don’t want to kill him.  I made a promise to Dorian I’d try and show mercy. I can’t go back on that now. Besides, killing is wrong.  There are other ways to try someone.

“Okay then!”  I point at him, address the room.  “Killing is off the table. Though you did so some horrendous things, you had a reason.  But trying to save your son only explains your actions, not excuse them. Also, that Tranquility stuff I’ve heard about is also off.  I’m not sentencing anybody to a lobotomy. That’s just cruel and inhumane. So, you have two options. One, you’re given to the free mages to aid them however they wish.  Or two: you sit in a jail cell and think about what you did.” I hear some murmurs from the crowd at this. Alexius gives a ‘Hmph’ in response.

“I’d think the headsman’s axe to be kinder…” Her grumbles.  Josephine looks pleasantly surprised.

“You aren’t going to execute him?”  I rapidly shake my head.

“Uh-uh!  That’s bad… And mean.  And the death penalty is kinda touchy.  So,” I clap my hands to get the crowd's attention.  “Just like last time folks! Those in favor for chucking him in jail, say aye!”  The crowd is much less hesitant than last time. I hear plenty of agreements from the crowd.

“Those in favor to give him to the mages?”  I hear almost the same amount of ‘ayes’. I turn to Josie.  “Did you catch which side won?” She gives me a shrug, her poofy yellow sleeves bouncing a little.

“It seems to be an even match, Inquisitor.  It is up to you.” I lean back in the chair to look as undignified as possible.

“Welp, I already decided minutes ago anyway!  You get to play with Fiona now. You said you’d help them and now you will.  Besides, you kind of invented a new type of magic, so killing you would be really stupid.  I need that to get rid of the Roman guy you got. Okay, go have fun. Toodles!” As I wiggle my fingers in goodbye, Alexius is dragged off to the Grand Enchanter.  Now I hear Josie turn her page and clear her throat. The crowd dies down in volume as she begins to speak again.

“Now, Mayor Gregory Dedrick of Crestwood has been caught attempting to flee the Inquisition.  He is here for betraying his own constituents. He confesses that ten years ago, he flooded Old Crestwood to kill refugees and villagers touched by the Blight.  The mayor claims it was to spare the rest of Crestwood, but we only have his word.” I glare at the greasy older man as he gets dragged up the steps.

“Oh, I’d love to hear any excuse this guy has for what he did.”

“There’s no cure for the Blight!”  He begins. “But I couldn’t convince anyone to leave a sick child or husband behind.”  Now Josie speaks, I can hear a hint of anger in her tone.

“So you herded the infected into one place and flooded Old Crestwood?  Were no innocents caught in the waters?” Now the mayor tries to defend himself, but he sounds hysterical to me.

“Nearly everyone in the village had the Blight!  I swear it! Have mercy.” He all but begs me. “I couldn’t tell the survivors I’d drowned their own families to save them.  I couldn’t…” I grumble in response. He killed just about the whole town… Because they were sick? That’s not an excuse!

“Listen, you committed mass murder on who knows how many sick and innocent people!  And since you did it during the Blight, I’d say that counts as a war crime and therefore violates the Geneva convention!  Or… something like that. But anyway, I wasn’t around for that, so I don’t think I have the authority to convict you?” Josie shoots me a surprised look.

“I...what?  Inquisitor, are you-”

“He’s confessing to a crime he committed ten years ago.  I wasn’t there, I just caught him fleeing. That doesn’t give us the right to pass judgment.  Tell you what, Greg, I’m going to send you to Denerim. The Bannorn can try you for your crimes against your town.  I hereby, uhh… revoke the right to try him?” All the nobles sit there staring at me. Even the mayor looks dumbfounded.  After a few moments, Josephine regains her posture.

“As the Inquisitor says, he shall be taken to Denerim at once.  The court is adjourned.”

As I leave the throne quickly, as the crowd parts I see Vivienne waiting for me at the entrance to the rotunda.  As I approach her, I see a smile on her face. It’s a controlled and small one, but it feels like she wants to be genuine.

“What a fascinating life you lead, my dear.  First, you fall out of the Fade, then you're attacked by an Archdemon, you plan to siege a Warden fortress, and now you willingly give up judgment on an enemy.  If you wanted any more public attention than that, you could have just held a ball.”  She inclines her head for me to follow and starts leading me up the stairs.  No doubt she’s taking me to her little sitting area she’s carved for herself. I have to chuckle a little at the ball comment.

“Hey, maybe I can host one before we get attacked again.  That’ll get Corpy’s attention.” She nods in agreement, looking slightly amused.

“Either way, we were left vulnerable to attack.  It was a miscalculation, one I’m sure you won’t repeat.”

“Lord, I hope not!”  I interject as she reaches the top of the steps.  As we pass Dorian’s nook, I see he’s still in his chair, reading intently from my phone.  He doesn’t even look up as we pass.

“But the enemy struck a serious blow against you and the Inquisition.  We must recognize that. You must.” I nod vigorously behind her as we pass through the door to the main hall’s upper levels.

“I’m not letting Corypheus get away with what he did.  I can’t let those who died die in vain.” Vivienne seems quite pleased by my response.

“You’re angry.  Good.” She tells me as we reach her balcony.  “Anger can save you when everything else is gone.  Just make sure you put it to good use. Our enemy advances, Inquisitor, we must not sit idly by.  Act first and teach them to respect us. You could become the leader the faithful require. But you must do it soon.”  I can only nod along.  _  I don’t exactly agree with that.  I don’t want to be a dominating power.  And I don’t want to become a religious leader.  I don’t like people bowing and worshiping me. _

“But enough of the serious, my dear.”  The First Enchanter continues. “I have heard many things lately about your… dress.”  I quickly glance down. I’m wearing jeans and flip-flops with a too large shirt.  _ Yeah, I imagine she’d take notice to that.  I stick out like a sore thumb in my normal clothes. _  I give a nervous laugh.

“What about it…?”

“Appearances are important, Inquisitor.”  She begins in a slightly reprimanding tone.  “We can’t have you looking like a stranger or mistaken for a commoner.”  I frown and bite my cheek.

“I mean… I don’t want people to think I’m materialistic.  I want to show I’m more… down to earth?” She nods deeply.

“Of course, but you also can’t allow the powers of the land to think you run this organization by prayer alone.  You command an army of the faithful outfitted by the coin of the nobility. You must be a woman who the common folk aspire to be and whom the nobility bow.”  I try to blink back my surprise and shock.

“I guess so.  But that seems like a lot for one person.”  A warmer smile appears for a split second.

“It is a challenge all leaders must face, my dear.  As the stories of the Inquisition spread, more and more people will wonder if you are who they say you are.  They will question what they’ve heard, but they will believe what they see. They must see someone greater than legends.  And also someone who looks like they belong in this world. Tell me, why do you insist on dressing like that? You do know you run your Ambassador ragged with the complaints?”  I sigh to myself as I try to think of a way to explain it.

“I dunno… I guess it’s like, this way I feel more like me.  Like I’m not someone’s puppet. Like I’m normal. And it’s my last connection with home.  I don’t want to forget everything. I don’t want to lose who I am.” I see her nod a little from the corner of my eye.  Gently, she places a hand on my shoulder.

“When things have settled down a bit, I will take you to Val Royeaux and introduce you to my seamstress.  She can work miracles, darling.”

* * *

 

Now I stand at the War Table watching the advisors argue on what to do at the siege of Adamant.  I have no clue why I’m standing here. I feel so out of place. I know nothing about any of this stuff.  And since they’re all sort of ignoring me I feel like I shouldn’t be here in the first place. Cullen grumbles as he moves around little figures on the map.

“But the Warden’s will hear us moving them into position!  We can’t cover the noise our soldiers and trebuchets would make!  They’d have the advantage before we’ve started. Unless any of you have anything louder as a distraction?”  He states it like a hypothetical.  _ Everyone grows silent.  I admit, war machines are probably loud, but I’ve hear much louder things before.  Concerts, basketball games, theme parks, rock music. But Maryden isn’t really a good fit for a distraction.  Don’t these guys have some kind of sound amplification system? They have magic and rocks that spit fire! Hell, if Dagna can figure out how to charge my phone, could she figure out how to make an aux cord?  Wait… _

“I have an idea!”  I yell out as I twirl on my heel and start running for the door.

“Inquis-”  Leliana calls after me, but the door slams shut behind me before she finishes.  

As quick as I can, I dart through Josie’s office and across the main hall.  After speed walking down the steps, I enter the Undercroft and find Dagna on the other side of the room.  I run up to her, making no attempt at small talk.

“Hey, Dagna, got another favor!  Think you could create something that amplifies sound from my phone?  Like music?”


	44. March on Adamant

“Adamant Fortress has stood against the Darkspawn since the time of the second Blight.”  Leliana explains as we all glance at the map to get a game plan together. As Cullen moves some pieces around, he speaks.

“Fortunately for us, that means it was built before the age of modern siege equipment.  A good trebuchet will do major damage to those ancient walls.” _I still think a bazooka would make things a whole lot easier._  Cullen still does his best to avoid looking at me as much as he can, either focusing on the map or talking to the other advisors.  “And thanks to our Lady Ambassador…” He gives her a quick glance for her to fill in the rest. Josephine actually looks at me as she explains.

“Lady Seryl of Jader was pleased to lend the Inquisition her sappers- that is her combat engineers.  They’ve already built and delivered the trebuchets.”

“That is the good news.”  Leliana delivers. I sigh and tap my foot.

“I have to dress in drag and do the hula?”  Leliana just gives me an even look.

“The bad news is their demon army, as delivered in reports by Hawke and Stroud.”  Now Cullen starts rearranging pieces as he grumbles to himself.

“The Inquisition can breach the gate, but if the Wardens already have their demons…”  Leliana quickly fills in the gap made by Cullen’s hesitation.

“I found records of Adamant’s construction.  There are choke points we can use to limit the field of battle.”

“That’s good.”  Cullen agrees. “We may not be able to defeat them outright but if we cut off reinforcements, we can carve you a path to Commander Clarel  It’ll be hard fought, but we’ll get that gate open.” As Leliana chuckles to herself, she speaks again.

“And hopefully Catherine’s idea of a distraction shall be of good use.”  Now Cullen almost growls and briefly glares at me.

“I still think it’s an insane idea!  What help could loud music be in a battle like this?”  Now I cross my arms and prepare to speak.

“Trust me, it’ll work.  I have things you guys don’t have.  Things- and noises- that will baffle the Wardens and their demons.  I got Dagna to build something that should project the music over the sounds of battle.  Those guys won’t know what hit them.” Cullen just bites back a comment and looks back down at the table.  While Josephine starts making quick notes, she speaks again.

“It’s also possible that some Wardens may be sympathetic to our cause.”  Leliana gives a deep nod in agreement.

“The warriors may be willing to listen to reason, though I doubt they will turn against Warden-Commander Clarel directly.  The mages, however, are slaves to Corypheus. They will fight to the death.”

“We’ve built the siege engines and readied our forces.  Give word and we shall march on Adamant.”

* * *

 

I approach Scout Harding, whos waiting at the edge of the camp by Dagna’s machine.  I still almost laugh when I see it. All I did was show Dagna a picture of a boombox and she was able to come up with something.  Thankfully, the box doesn't blast music, so Harding won't go deaf. Dagna made a bunch of portable speakers to be attached to the trebuchet and some of our other stuff.   _I just hope this works..._

“Inquisitor!”  She briefly bows to me.  “You ready?” I grin and nod to her, pointing at the device next to her.

“See that box that Dagna made?  I’m going to need you to be in charge of it; like we talked about.”  I quickly pull out my phone and hook up the aux cord to it. “This plays music that’s part of a distraction for the Wardens.  I’ll need you to make sure it keeps playing and that my phone stays charged. I’ve already got the playlist set up, so you just need to keep an eye on the battery.  Make sure it doesn’t go dead.” She takes my phone in hand and glances at the playlist. I’d asked her about this at Skyhold and showed her my phone for a bit so she’d have an idea of what to do.

“You called it ‘Mayhem?”  She asks with a grin.

“Mayhem.”  Beside me, both Bull and Sera are grinning at the title.  Cassandra looks like she’s trying to hide a smile. Solas, however, looks a little less than pleased.  I swear he’s going to start ranting about ‘kids these days’ and how ‘back in my day music was music’.

“So, Boss, this distraction of yours?  You really think it’ll work?” I nod and give Bull and thumbs up.

“I know so.”

* * *

 

_“Stone age love and strange sounds too._

_Come on, baby, let me get to you._

_Bad nights causing teenage blues._

_Get down ladies, you've got nothin' to lose.”_

The rock songs blasts through the air as trebuchets fire and explosions pop around us.  Just like I thought, all these medieval warriors were completely dumbfounded by the sound of rock guitars.  That left them blindsided when the Inquisition started scaling the walls. We have a giant head start now. I’m a genius!

 

_“Hello, daddy. Hello, mom._

_I'm your ch-ch-ch-cherry bomb!”_

As if on sync with the track, there’s another fireball that hits a group of Wardens and demons.  Even though we’re killing all these people, that these Wardens are under mind control, the music makes it feel like I’m in a movie.  Sera cackles as she shoots a volley of arrows at a shade in front of us. Cassandra lets the Red Jenny use her shield as a platform to jump up from.  As she lands and rolls, Solas casts a barrier on her before diverting his attention. I’m just about as manic and reckless as Sera at this point. Instead of opting for someone who would fit with Dragon Age, I’ve gone full blast and shifted into Lara Croft.  The demons go down like a sack of potatoes after a couple shots. The bullets rip through the Warden’s armor and barriers. With my double pistols, I could take over the world!

 

_“Hello, world!  I’m your wild girl._

_“I’m your ch-ch-ch-cherry bomb!”_

“I take back what I said about you bein’ weird, Birdy!”  She calls over the volume of the battle and song. “This shite is friggin awesome!”  To my left, I see Bull swinging and killing demons in time with the beat while he grins as much as Sera.

“Yes!  Now, this is how you take down a demon army!”

 

 _“Hello, daddy. Hello, mom._ __  
_I'm your ch-ch-ch-cherry bomb!_ __  
_Hello, world! I'm your wild girl._ __  
I'm your ch-ch-ch-cherry bomb!”

Once we all clear the landing, Hawke, Stroud, and Alistair are waiting for us.  Thankfully, none of the men pull out their swords upon seeing me this time. Hooray for small mercies.

“Hello, boys!”  I greet as I holster the pistols on my thighs.  All three of them stare at me with wide eyes. Hawke composes himself first.   _Maybe with all the stuff he’s seen this isn’t that surprising?_

“Inquisitor, Commander Clarel should be beyond this hall in the center of the fortress.”  Stroud now steps forward, sword at the ready.

“If you and your companions have no other business, I suggest we move quickly.”  Finally, ‘Cherry Bomb’ dies down, leaving a few seconds of silence. I turn to the Warden King, who looks just as pumped as the rest of us.

“Are you ready, Al?”

“Born ready!”  He calls over the noise.  “But what’s that music?”  I smirk as I start running for the doors.

“A distraction.”  As if on cue, the next song starts up just as we throw open the large doors to the main chamber.  Led Zeppelin's ‘Immigrant Song’ starts blaring and echoing throughout the once silent area. All the Wardens are shocked and turn to stare at all of us.  I see on the platform above us, Clarel and Erimond standing over the body of another Warden. _Crap, we were too late for that…_  

“What's up?!”  I yell out as I stroll in like I own the place.  As both mages stare down at us in fear and shock, I whip out the sniper rifle from my back and aim for the Venatori agent in white.  Erimond, unfortunately, isn’t stupid, because he quickly readies his staff and turns to Clarel. And unfortunately for me, this gun is really heavy.  I can’t keep it steady and the crosshairs keep moving. _I can’t get a decent shot like this._

“Stop them!  We must complete the ritual!”  The Tevinter yells out, barely audible over the song in the background.

 

_“We come from the land of the ice and snow,_

_From the midnight sun where the hot springs blow_

_The hammer of the gods_

_Will drive our ships to new lands,_

_To fight the horde, singing and crying,_

_Valhalla, I am coming!”_

 

I scoff as I continue to try and steady this rifle on him.  If I can shoot him in the head before he summons the dragon, maybe I won’t fall into the Fade…

“Yeah, sure, and bind her to a demon.”  I sass him, praying he holds still. “Could you move a bit to the left?”  The man above only scoffs at my remark.

“Yes, Inquisitor, I want to bind Warden-Commander Clarel to a demon.  Everyone in this room already knows that. And yes, the ritual requires blood sacrifice.  Hate me for it if you must, but do not hate the Wardens for doing their duty!” Then Clarel steps slightly in front of him, just enough to block the shot for me.   _Crap, I always sucked with sniper rifles in Halo.  I always stuck to pistols…_

“We make the sacrifices no one else will!  Our warriors die proudly for a world that will never thank them.”  Now both Warden’s with us step forward with new resolve. _Sticking my tongue out doesn’t make this any easier._  I lower the rifle to avoid hurting my shoulder and put it back.  I grumble and cross my arms. _Trying to use that is useless.  I guess I have to stick with the script..._

“And then your Tevinter ally binds the mages to Corypheus!”  Alistair is quieter than Stroud, his remark covered by the sounds of rock guitars.

“Yes, always a smart move, that.”  Clarel’s shock is evident even from back here.  But the music is so loud I can’t hear her very well.

“Corypheus?  But he’s dead!”  Erimond tries to step back in and retake his place, but it’s clear I’ve knocked him down a few pegs.

“These people will do anything to shake your resolve, Clarel!  Bring it through.”

 

 _“_ _How soft your fields so green,_

_Can whisper tales of gore,_

_Of how we calmed the tides of war_

_We are your overlords”_

 

As if on command, all the mage’s around the center lift their hands to create a rip in the Veil.  I can’t see much beyond the swirl of green, but I know what’s there. I can feel my heart pounding.  I can almost feel the Nightmare’s eyes on me. I know it’s probably watching. Watching and waiting.

 

_“On we sweep with threshing oar,_

_Our only goal will be the western shore_

_So now you'd better stop and rebuild all your ruins,_

_For peace and trust can win the day_

_Despite of all your losing”_

Hawke steps closer to the mages, holding his hands out to them, a pleading and sad look on his face as he begs them.

“Please, I have seen more than my fair share of blood magic!  It is never worth the cost!” I can see some of the un-hypnotized Wardens start to falter.  Some of them stop advancing or look at the group of us. Stroud steps beside Hawke, his hand shaking on his sword hilt.

“I trained half of you myself!”  He cries in a broken voice. “Do not make me kill you to stop this madness!”  I glance at Alistair and nudge him. Quickly, he speaks up.

“The Warden’s I know would never do something like this!  Think for a second!” I see Erimond glaring at all of us as we try to convince the Wardens.  He seems to have given up on them now, only focusing on Clarel. He gets closer to her, pointing in the direction of the rift to hold her attention.

“Be ready with the ritual, Clarel.  This demon is truly worthy of your strength.”  Instead of using her magic, Clarel just gazes out at her fellows, at us, at the mages doing Corpy’s bidding.  Erimond picks up on this. I can see his hands clench in frustration. “Clarel we have come so far! You’re the only one who can do this.”  Now the senior Warden turns to him, her eyes hard and her posture intimidating.

“No!”  She decrees.  “We should test the truth of these charges to avoid more bloodshed.”

 

Just like in the game, Erimond scowls and turns to us.  I can see he’s tempted to backhand Clarel, but seems to refrain to maintain what little image he has with them.

“Or perhaps I should bring in a more reliable ally!”  He bangs his staff, now glowing red, giving him a frightening look.  I can hear him cackle over the rock music as it starts to fade. “My master thought you might come here, Inquisitor!  He sent me this to welcome you!” Just as the intro drums start for ‘Quiet Riot’ the roar of the Red Lyrium dragon splits the sky.  It soars over us, swooping down and reading its breath.

“Fuck!”  I yell at all my group and some cognitive Wardens to roll out of the path.  In its wake, the ground glows an eerie red color. Almost like that dragon’s breath can force red lyrium to grow wherever it fires.

 

_“Come on feel the noise!_

_Girls rock your boys_

_We’ll get wild, wild, wild_

_Wild, wild, wild”_

“Yeah!”  The Iron Bull cheers as the dragon perches on a tower.  “Now things are getting interesting!”

 

_“So you think I’ve got an evil mind_

_I tell you, honey,_

_I don’t know why_

_I don’t know why”_

 

I stand there and gape at the snarling beast.  Erimond cackles like he’s won. That dragon seems like it’s eyeing me specifically.   _I don’t want to get eaten…_  Suddenly, a bolt of lightning hits the dragon and then the Tevinter in quick succession.  Clarel stands before her Wardens with a spell ready in her hands.

“Help the Inquisitor!”  She commands them as she starts to bolt after Erimond, but not before zapping the dragon once again.  The angry creature roars and starts to take off for somewhere.

 

_“So you think my singing’s out of time?_

_It makes me money_

_I don’t know why_

_I don’t know why_

_Anymore_

_Oh no”_

“Guys, come on!”  I call my group and start to run after Clarel, making sure to take my pistols out as I do.  If I have a shot, I’ll take it.

* * *

 

Now my heart is pounding in my chest like when I did that Fitnessgram Pacer Test in Elementary.  I don't think I’ve ever run this fast in my life. At this rate, I’m not even Lara Croft anymore.  Just me and my short little legs running for my life as the dragon tries to burn us by poking its head in the hallway.

“AAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!”  I’m just yelling and running as I blindly turn the corner.  I’m just going on autopilot now, running up the stairs to get away as fast as I can.  God, I’m a terrible Inquisitor. I’m an awful companion… I broke rule seventy-two… Suddenly, I’m at the top of the fort.  I can’t hear the rock music anymore from up here. Just the wind and Clarel’s shouts as she stalks to Erimond as he back away.

“You!”  She growls as she throws a lightning bolt in his direction, causing the Venatori to scurry.  “You’ve destroyed the Grey Wardens!” I wish I could help Clarel, but I’m so winded and exhausted not even adrenaline could keep me going.  I cup my hands and shout after them.

“Kick his butt, Clarel!”  Erimond gets zapped and falls to his knees.  I can see him wearing a smirk even though he’s cornered.

“You did that to yourself, you stupid bitch!”

“Fuck you!”  I yell at him.  Fuck him up, girl!”  Neither of them are paying me any attention.

“All I did was dangle a little power before your eyes.  And you couldn’t wait to get your hands bloody.” Clarel strikes him with another bolt, sending Erimond reeling and lying on the ground in a fetal position, smoking.  “You could have served a new god.”

“I will never serve the Blight!”  The Warden-Commander of Orlais yells.  Behind me, the rest of my group climbs the steps to me.  I sheepishly wave.

“Hey, guys.  Sorry, I panicked.”

 

Suddenly, the Red Lyrium dragon makes its appearance and lands behind Clarel.  Before she has time to react, the dragon bends its neck lower and chops her by the torso.  The lower part of her body dangles as the dragon preaches itself on a tower and starts shaking her back and forth.   _Probably to break her bones._ All this looks so, so familiar.  But that’s not a robot made by Spielberg and Clerel isn’t a CGI image.  The only thing that comes out of my mouth when Clerel hits the ground is a squeal of fear.  Now the beast starts advancing to us. Its steps are loud and it’s growl makes my chest vibrate.  At this point, I’m borderline hysterical as Cassandra starts to drag me backward with the rest of the companions.

“Nonononononono…”  Is the only thing I can repeat over and over.  “Nonononononono!” I barely have the brain to register Clarel lying on the ground under the dragon, barely clinging to life.

“In war, victory… In peace, vigilance…”  I don’t really register what she’s saying.  I just keep walking backward, wondering if I’ll fall over the edge before I die.  Then there’s a giant flash of purple that brings me out of my stupor. Clarel uses the last of her power to fell the dragon.  It screeches as it starts to slide towards us fast. Cassandra throws me to the side with Bull pulling Sera. I pray Solas, Hawke, and the Wardens are on the other side.  The dragon fades out as it falls to the ground under some rubble. The four of us take the moment to breathe. I glance at Clarel, who isn’t moving. She lies in a pool of her own blood, the teeth gash in her stomach making me nauseous.

 

And then there’s a rumble below us that brings back my panic.  The floor is coming apart beneath us. I can see the supports start to crumble and the stone falling down with the dragon.  Thankfully some of the other’s have the sense to snap into action while Sera and I stare at the abyss.

“Run for it!”  Bull yells at the other companions as he picks me up under his arm like a football.  Cassandra quickly hauls Sera over her shoulder and starts running. Stroud grabs Alistar’s wrist and they start following the Seeker.  Hawke is able to keep pace with Cassandra despite his armor and the giant sword. Solas, meanwhile, quickly gets ahead by Fade stepping between the rocks.  Now I’m left to stare at the ground falling apart while this giant Qunari hauls ass.

“Shit shit shit shit bugger shit!”  Sera yells from her vantage point as we move.  But we’re too late. The entire bridge crumbles beneath all of us.

 

As we fall, Bull ends up letting go of me.  I’m now diving face-first into an abyss. I can barely hear anyone above the crack of the stone.   _We’re going to die here.  No one in the Inquisition will find us.  No one will know. Will they find our bodies?_  As if to remind me, the Mark crackles to life, spitting green energy around us.

 _Wow, I’m a giant idiot!_  

With all my might and fear driving me, I throw my hand forward.  Despite the exhaustion, panic, adrenaline, and pain, I make a large rift.  A bright green color fills my vision as we fall. I’m tumbling around and I might puke because of the motion.  I hear strange noises and see flashes of images as we tumble into a darker green. I shut my eyes and count slowly, begging it to stop.   _I want to get off this ride.  I don’t want to go. I don’t want to go!_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> https://pyroraptorwrites.tumblr.com/


	45. The Fade

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter's a long one, so buckle in!
> 
> https://pyroraptorwrites.tumblr.com/

As usual, I land face first in the dirt.  Or, I almost did. Just as I’m about to hurl into the rocks, some strange sensation pulls me back up, like a yo-yo.  For a second, I open my eyes to find myself floating and weightless. _I’m upside down, staring at the ground.  Or is it the ceiling? My center of gravity is unbalanced.  I’m going to puke. I hate this!_  After a second or two with my eyes shut, I hit the ground on my back.  I eventually sit up, trying to right myself. I hold my head in my hands and breath slowly.  Carefully, I stand up.

 

All around me is green.  There are so many floating rocks and strange lights.  I can barely see into the distance.

“Where are we?”  I hear Stroud ask to my left.  But as I turn, I have to double take and blink as I stare at him.  He’s standing sideways on a different rock. His gravity is different than mine…  Alistair is beside him, about as groggy as I am.

“Well… This is unexpected.”  I glance upward at them, just as confused as they are.  “We were falling…”

“Perhaps we landed…”  Lachdanan says. He’s also above me, but across the way from the Wardens.

“Did we… die?”  I ask out loud, hoping it isn’t true.  “I didn’t see a white light…” Stroud thankfully comes up with something more logical.

“No, the Inquisitor must have used her Mark to open a rift.  We fell through.” Hawke quickly comes around to the idea.

“And we’re standing in the Fade…”  Solas, who I didn’t see where he landed, now moves to my right.  He’s on the same gravitational pull as me. He stares in wonder out at the horizon as he slowly nods his head.

“Yes…  We’re in the Fade.  You opened a rift. We came through, and survived.”  He sounds a mixture of awestruck and on the verge of a breakthrough.  “I never thought I would find myself here physically. Look!” He points a long finger out towards something.  It’s foggy and I can barely see an outline.

“The Black City.  Almost close enough to touch.”  I stare bug-eyed. _I can’t think of anything to say.  This all feels weird and different.  I’m not sure I like it._

“The Fade looked different the last time I was here…”  Hawke mutters to no one in particular. Alistair agrees with him.  I silently conquer as well. _I remember that quest._

“I’ve seen a Sloth demon pretending to be my sister in the Fade.  But I’ve never seen this…” _Haha yeah, I remember that too._ Now Alistar turns to me and looks down.  “The stories say you walked out of the Fade at Haven.  Was it like this?” I give an exaggerated shrug.

“I… I don’t know!  I don’t remember anything other than Cassandra pointing a blade at me.  I don’t even know how I ended up here!” Hawke gruffly takes in my statement.

“We aren’t safe here.  The huge demon Erimond was trying to pull through was on the other side.  There could be more…”

Sera is swaying with uneven steps as she starts walking toward Solas and I.  She keeps glancing around like she’s paranoid, hugging her arms close her herself.

“Shitballs, fuck, shit, crap, Fade, shit, arse, demons, crap!”   _She sounds like a scared little kid.  Sera’s only a year younger than I am. I guess that makes us both scared kids…_  Bull silently walks up beside her.

“What she said.”  He says in a low tone.  He squints as he looks around, shaking his head in disbelief.  “Oh, this is shitty.” Now he turns to address me.

“I’ll fight whatever you give me, Boss, but nobody said anything about getting dragged through the ass end of demon town.”  I blink and glance around.

“Is Cass okay?  Where’d she end up?”

“I am here.”  Her voice echoes as she joins us.  “In our world, the rift with demons came through was nearby.  Can we escape the same way?” I quickly start nodding along.

“I like that better than staying put for something to find us…”  I tentatively start walking, like the ground might give way again.  “Let’s head for the spiral thingy magig.”

 

As the group settles into step, with Cassandra keeping a close eye on Sera, Bull starts complaining.

“‘Hey, Chief, let’s join the Inquisition!  Good fights for a good cause!’” The Qunari starts imitating his lieutenant before switching back to himself.  “I don’t know, Krem, I hear there are demons. ‘Ah, don’t worry about the demons, Chief! I’m sure we won’t see many!’”  Now he just starts muttering incoherently before shouting a reverbing:

“Asshole!”  Now he calms himself and addresses the group as we keep walking.  “If I get possessed, faint on my blind side, then go low. Cullen says I keep myself open.”  Hawke is the only one to respond.

“I’ll keep that in mind…”  Solas, on the other hand, is having more fun than the rest of us.

“This is fascinating!  It is not the area I would have chosen, of course.  But to physically walk in the Fade…”

“At least one of us is having fun, huh Dad?”  Clearly, Solas is in la la land because he doesn’t react to ‘Dad’ this time.

“Yes, quite.”  Sera’s mumbling becomes louder at Solas being so gleeful.

“Shite!  Piss! Stupid!  I hate this!” She yells, her voice bouncing more the Bull’s.  Cassandra gently places a hand on her shoulder, but Sera shrugs her off.  The Seeker seems to me calmer than most of us.

“Imagine…”  She begins to wonder out loud.  “To walk physically in the Fade and survive.”  Bull just frowns at that remark.

“We haven’t survived yet.”

 

I say nothing as I focus ahead.   _Think happy thoughts.  Happy things. Pink fluffy unicorns dancing on rainbows.  Not corpses. Kittens. No Necromorphs. Little puppies. Not Diablo.  Not Fatal Frame. I can do this. I can do this._  I keep giving myself this pep talk as we reach some steps flanked by statues of eagles.  As I climb them, I squint as the green horizon changes to a blinding golden light. We all continue walking in silence as we round a corner, but then I stop dead in my tracks.  I knew this spirit was going to be here, but this isn’t the woman who it should look like. The red and white colors are the same, but that’s about it. Instead of the Divine, before us stands an older woman.  She wears tattered robes stitched together at the sides, her skirt made of many different fabrics. They’re layered over each other, red and white crossing over as it moves up to her bodice. She is adorned with many necklaces, both gold and silver.  Her red veil covers all of her hair. Inside the hood is a long face with wrinkles and a long hooked nose. Her lips are full and make no expression. But the eyes are cloudy and grey. She’s blind. _I know this woman.  The vision I had after the attack on Haven makes sense now.  It was her. The spirit has somehow adopted Theresa as her identity?  But… how? Why?_ I hear all the companions stop and stare along with me.   _Do they see what I see?_

“By the Maker…”  Stroud utters in a whisper.  Both Cassandra and Hawke stare at her.

“Divine Justinia?”  The Seeker asks. “Most Holy?”   The spirit nods to her, a slight smile on its face.

“Cassandra.”  But I don’t hear the Orleasan Divine.  I hear British Theresa. I peer at her, confused.

 

“I don’t… get it.  Why do you look…?” The Spirit Theresa gestures to herself.

“I chose this form to not confuse you.  To appear as someone you do not remember is pointless.”

“But why **her** though?”  The spirit makes no change in expression.

“Because this person was who you mistook me for.  They do not see who you see. They see who they need to see.”   _Well, she’s got the cryptic part down solid._  Sera, meanwhile, glowers at the Divine spirit.

“No!  The Divine is dead!  That thing’s a demon!  It has to be.” Now the spirit folds its hands in front and walks forward with her head slightly ducked.  Exactly like from Fable.

“You think my survival impossible, yet here you stand alive in the Fade.  But proving my existence, either way, would require time we do not have. Regardless of what you think, I am here to help you.”  All my companions seem to be hinging on what I say. I nod to Theresa.

“Okay then.”

“You do not have your memories of the Temple or your arrival.  You lost them to the demon that serves Corypheus. Come.” She beckons us with a hand and begins to walk down the path.  We have no choice but to follow. “It is the Nightmare you forget upon waking. It feeds off memories of fear and darkness, growing fat upon terror.  The false Calling that terrified the Wardens? It’s doing.” Stroud immediately gasps upon hearing this.

“I would gladly avenge the insult this Nightmare dealt my brethren!”  Behind him, Alistair agrees. Theresa makes no laugh or anything. She doesn’t even turn her head.

“You shall have your chance, Wardens.  This place is its lair.” Now I stop for a second.

 

“So that big thing Erimond was trying to bring through?”  Theresa turns to face me.

“Yes.”

“It’s nearby?”

“Yes.”  I gulp and try not to cry.

“Oh… Crap.”  Theresa continues to walk, now waving her hand to manipulate the Fade itself.  She’s not powerful enough to completely change our surroundings. The green is still there, but now we stand in another familiar place.  “The Road to Rule?” I ask, staring around at the long path that leads up to Skyhold. Thersa does not explain and stops in front of the first gate.

“When you entered the Fade at Haven, the demon took a part of you.  Before you do anything else, you must recover it.” Now she waves her hand and a ball of green light appears beside her.  “This is one of your memories. You must claim it.” Slowly, I heed her words and walk up to the ball. As I touch my hand to it, it feels warm.  The green swirls around my hand like mist. Suddenly, I start to hear voices. They’re distorted at first. But then, it flashes a green color and I’m watching what happened through a camera.

 

The Divine hovers in place, kept bound by Warden Mages.  Corypheus walks toward her menacingly, the Orb in his hand.

“Keep the sacrifice still.”  He says while activating the green magic.  He starts to hold it up to her and a green energy pours from her.  Like he’s taking her soul. As the energy gets loud, suddenly, there’s a flash of blue light above them.  It crackles and pops. Both the Divine and Corypheus look up in confusion, before there’s a yell. My yell.  I suddenly fall out of the blue and smack right onto the floor, face first. _I really need to work on my landings._  I groan and start to rise up.  As soon as I lift my head and notice Corypheus, I squint at him.  I keep looking back and forth between him and the Divine. Corypheus then points a finger at me.

“What is this?  Who sent you?!” My eyes go wide as I don’t move from my spot.  “Kill her! Now!” He orders. But since he’s distracted from the Divine, Justinia smacks the orb from his hands.  It goes bouncing and rolling towards me on the ground. Reflexively, I place my right hand on the orb and pick it up.  The darkspawn starts to lunge at me. I scream louder than I’ve ever heard myself scream. In fear, I curl around the orb as it activates.  The bright white light ends the vision.

As it ends, Stroud is the first to speak.

“So your Mark did not come from Andraste.  It came from the orb Corypheus used in his ritual.”  Suddenly, the gates swing open and Theresa is already walking.

“Corypheus intended to rip open the Veil and use the Anchor to enter the Fade.  From there, he would open the doors to the Black City for himself. By placing your hand on the orb, you took his mark.”

“But…”  That only gave me more questions than answers.  “How did I end up there in the first place? I don’t remember that at all.”  She stops at the next gate, by another glowing orb.

“You must recover more of yourself.  But be wary, the Nightmare knows you are here.”  My companions are all quiet now. In the back, Stroud says something.

“Something troubles you, Hawke?”  Lachdanan sounds gruffer than ever.

“Those were Wardens holding the Divine in that vision.  Their actions lead to her death.”

“I assume he had taken their minds, as he has before.”  Alistair cuts in between their little spat.

“Right, we can argue about this later.  After we get out of here.” As soon as they’re done, I place my hand in the second orb and watch as the next cutscene starts.

 

It starts out with the Divine and I running from demons.  Or, more like she’s running and dragging me along by the wrist.  I keep glancing around with fear, the panic clear on my face.

“What is this?!”  I yell out as she keeps yanking me forward.  “Where am I? Who are you?!” But she doesn’t answer me as the spiders gain on us.

“The demons!”  She cries and keeps heading for the bright green exit.  “Keep running!” We keep going, getting closer and closer.  When we finally get there, she lets go of my wrist and forces me forward.

“Hey!  Wait!” I try to protest, but she won’t let me have it.

“Go.”  She says and shoves me out through the Fade rift.

 

When everything comes back, we’re standing in the raw Fade again.  Everything feels clearer now. Like a fog was lifted from my mind. I feel sad now.  She pushed me through. She dragged me to safety while I was being hysterical.

“She… saved me.  She… The Divine died to save me, didn’t she?”  Theresa simply holds my gaze.

“Yes.”  Stroud and Hawke both step closer.

“So this creature is simply a spirit.”

“I think we all knew that was the case, Warden Stroud.”  Now Theresa steps closer to me, within hugging distance.

“You may have all your memories, but there is one more thing I must show you.  It is not yours, but you must know.” Without further explanation, she places a glowing hand on my forehead and I see yet another vision.

 

This time, there is no Divine or me.  Instead, I see something that looks similar to a Stargate.  But all the architecture looks like the Temple of Mythal. There a plenty of figures tending to the machine, tightening bolts or looking over plans.  They all have vallaslin on their faces. They’re all elves. Looking over this all from a balcony are three others. I see nothing on their faces. The middle figure is hard to tell their gender.  All I see is tight, black leather armor that almost seems ethereal. There’s a giant bow on their back. I can see bits of red hair poking out of the helm. They are flanked on either side by two men with mage staves.  The man on the right has white hair and two crows on his staff. The man on the left has long black hair.

“Are you sure this will work, lethallan?”  The man on the right asks.

“Of course it will!”  The middle one- a woman- snaps.  “It has to!” The man on the right gazes intently at the gate on the lower floor.

“But what exactly did you see in there?”  The woman throws up her hands and turns around.  The helm doesn’t obscure her face, but I can’t make any details from here.

“I don’t know!  Something strange!  Other places! Things!  Strange creatures…” The two men turn and follow her.  The one with black hair finally speaks up.

“But what do you plan to do if you can use that machine?”

“We will conquer!  Our people are the only intelligent creatures!  Not those strange monkeys. But, if we keep them, we can expand our Empire beyond the Fade!  We shall be Gods of two worlds, perhaps more!” The man with the crows rolls his eyes.

“But I thought you already tried to use it, and the machine failed you?  How can you send an army through there if you can’t send one man?” The woman in black smacks him and storms off.

“It went off, I know it!  But there could be a delay…  I’ll make it work, even if the All-Mother disagrees!”

 

I’m standing back in the Fade again, staring at a glowing yellow spirit.

“What the heck was that?!”  My brain won’t stop whirling.   _Who were those elves?  What was with that gate?  I got summoned here because of it?  Because one of the elves found something in the Fade?  Was it those windows Cole talked about? And they decided to try and take over my world because an Ardipithecus was too much to handle?  And I guess it went off late. Does that mean the creature targeted was my genetic ancestor? So the fact Dragon Age is a game in my world, that I’ve played it and know what happens… is a really lucky coincidence?!_  “I barely understand any of that!”  The spirit floats in front of me, facial expression obscured by light.

“The ancient elves built their technology on magic and the Fade.  They were a powerful civilization. Perhaps too powerful. Their leaders grew and their hubris became their downfall.  You are connected to the collapse, in a way. It was your people’s existence that started them on that path.” _So that means those elves talking were apart of the Evanuris?  Were all of them in on it? No, it sounded like Mythal opposed it.  I wonder why. Perhaps I’ll have to ask her later. Did Dad know about it?  Did he approve? Has he known the whole time?_  In the back, all the companions stare as much as I do in disbelief.

“It… wasn’t the Maker?”  Cassandra asks in a whisper.  Even Solas looks surprised.

“I have traveled the Fade and studied the Ancient Elves for years, yet I have never seen or heard of such technology.  I did not know it was possible…” He sounds genuinely confused. _Maybe it was going on while he was leading the rebellion?  That would have kept him out of the loop._  I glance back at the spirit.

“So the fact Thedas is fiction in my world, that I know about it, is just… chance?”  It hovers for a moment before going higher up and gazing out at the rift in the distance.

“Call it a coincidence, call it fate, the Maker.  It is what it is, regardless. You are here. You cannot go back.”  I stop. I hadn’t really thought much about going home. But to hear about it…

“I can’t go home?”

“With the downfall of Arlathan, their technology dissolved.  No one alive knows about the portal. And mortals cannot enter the divide.  You can only remain in this world.” I hear Bull rumble behind us.

“That’s some shitty luck you have, Boss.”   _Yeah, no kidding._

“But you all have tarried long enough.  The Nightmare knows you are here. You must destroy it.”  The spirit takes one final glance at me. “Now go.” She vanishes before my eyes in a shower of golden sparkles.  I look back at the rift. I feel heartbroken. And angry. Very, very angry.

“Come on, gang.  We’ve got a demon to kill.”

* * *

* * *

 

As we get almost halfway to the rift, a voice rings out.  It’s not a pleasant one at all. I know in the game it was Corypheus’ voice actor, but instead, this sounds much different.   It sounds like the Crawler from Fable 3. _But maybe he only sounds like that to me, like how the spirit looked like the Divine for everyone else.  What does everyone else hear?_

“Oh, perhaps I **should** be afraid, facing the fearless Inquisitor and her members of the Inquisition!  Like the man you call your father...” But despite it’s taunting, everyone keeps moving on.  The demon gives a menacing cackle as we all turn to Solas. “Dirth ma, harellan. Ma banal ensalin.  Mar solas ena mar din.” It speaks in a guttural Elvish that blanches Solas’ face.  He eyes widen slightly, but narrow as he scowls and tightens his grip on his staff.

“Banal nadas.” He bites back at the unseeable creature.  As the demon laughs at his response, it muses to itself.

“Ju’mar gir ashalan onhar il’lath ma en’as ithas mar inan?”  I have no clue what it’s saying, but Solas does not take it well.

“Vara ash tor’ou min!” I stick my fists up like I’m going to punch the air.

“You tell ‘em Dad!”  The demon gives a low laugh and changes quarry.

 

“The Qunari will make a lovely host for one of my minions.  Or maybe I will ride his body myself.” At this, Bull’s face contorts into a massive grimace.

“I’d like to see you try.”  The merc mumbles out loud. I see Cassandra glaring at the air, hand on her sword.

“Your Inquisitor is a fraud, Cassandra.  Yet more evidence there is no Maker, that all your ‘faith’ has been for naught.”  She sneers at him and snorts.

“Die in the void, demon.”   _You tell him, honey!_  Last but not least, Sera’s got her hand gripped on her bow, arrow read and nocked.  She keeps muttering.

“Shit, no, piss off, fuck, no!”  But the demon’s voice eyes her anyway.

“Sera, Sera, Sera,”  It muses gleefully. “If you shoot an arrow at me, I’ll know where you are.”

“Out of my head, bitch-balls!”  She yells in a quivering voice. I cup my hands and yell out into the void.

“Hey stupid, pick on someone your own size, you dumb, stupid, idiot-stupid!”  The Nightmare quickly comes in again, voice booming and echoing. There’s an echoed laugh that almost rings in my ears.  Deep and chilling; something that scares me to my core.

 

“Ah, fresh meat.”   _Oh fuck.  My childhood fear.  The voice that always haunts my nightmares.  That lights my fight or flight instincts. Somehow the Nightmare must be reading my mind._

 _It sounds like The Butcher._   _My six-year-old self’s greatest fear.  I was utterly terrified of The Butcher.  I’ve only ever defeated him twice. And only because of a glitch where he gets trapped on the other side of the stairs._

Both my steps and breath have stopped.  I keep glancing around for the source, but there isn’t one.  “Some foolish little girl comes to steal the fear I kindly lifted from her shoulders.  You should have thanked me and left it forgotten. You truly think your pain will make you stronger?  Or that you can hide behind someone else’s face? So many masks you wear, **Inquisitor** ,”  It says my title with disgust.  

“Link, the Warden, Hawke, the Hero and King of Albion, a Runner, a Watcher, Arisen, the Kalach-Cha…”  I start walking again, trying to ignore it rattling off my video game collection. “My, my, my, my, my!  Tell me, your **true** face, what kind of face is it?  The face under your masks… Is that your **true** face?”  Then the Nightmare laughs.  It’s a chilling mixture of the laugh from Diablo and Skull Kid.  I want to start crying.

“Do you actually think you can kill me?  You couldn’t even handle a ghost!”

 

As if on cue, a different familiar laugh rings out.  Suddenly, inches from my face is a terrifying sight. Before me floats the ghost of a woman in a kimono.  Backward. Her head is twisted and hands upside down, staring at me through creepy, lifeless eyes. Her hair hands down straight along with her hands.  She floats in front of me before swaying left and right, laughing mechanically. I start panicking again, fumbling for what to do. _Oh god, oh god, camera, I need that camera!  Miku, I need to be Miku!_  As quick as I can, I hold the Camera Obscura to my eye.  The ghost flashes invisible for a brief moment. _I know what to do.  I beat this game on Hard Mode, I can do it!_  Just as she lunges to attack, I press the shutter button.  Broken Neck is knocked back with a yelp before she slowly starts floating back to me to repeat the attack.  I can feel everyone’s eyes on my back.

“Catherine, what are you doing?!”  Cassandra practically shouts at me as I take another shot.  Thankfully, Broken Neck cries as she floats to the ground and vanishes into a tiny blue light.  As I lower the camera, I become myself again.

“Have I mentioned I really, really hate dead people?”  Quickly, I motion us to keep moving, despite its taunts.  Now Hawke finally speak up after hanging out silent in the back with Alistair and Stroud.

 

“I think you’ve mentioned that before…”  Lachdanan mutters wrly. The Nightmare has new prey.

“Did you think you mattered, Hawke?  Did anything you ever did mattered? You couldn’t even save your city, Lachdanan.  How could you expect to strike down a god? Fenris and Bethany will die, just like your mother, father, and brother.  And everyone you ever cared about.” Lachdanan’s fists curl as he tightens his jaw. The warrior of Kirkwall continues following with determination.

“A fear demon would know where to hurt us most.  We must ignore it and move on.” Undeterred, the Nightmare keeps picking on us.

 

“Did the King’s bastard think he could prove himself?  It’s far too late for that, you Majesty. Your whole life you’ve left everything in more capable hands.  The Archdemon, your own court. You abandon your duty at the first chance to play Warden again, will they accept you when you go back?  Who will you hide behind now?” I can almost hear Alistair roll his eyes.

“Is that all it’s got?  I’ve heard worse from Morrigan.”  He snorts. Last, but not least, is Stroud.

“Warden Stroud.  How does it feel to devote your whole life to the Wardens, only to watch them fall?  Or to know you are responsible for their destruction? When the next Blight comes, they shall curse your name.”  

We’re almost to the rift now, just nearing its lair.  Stroud pushes on ahead of me, pointing to the rift in the distance.

“Come, we are here.  With the Maker’s blessing, we shall end this beast.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dirth ma, harellan. Ma banal ensalin. Mar solas ena mar din = Speak, rebel. You bring nothing but darkness and destruction. Your pride will be your death.
> 
> Banal nadas = Nothing is inevitable
> 
> Ju’mar gir ashalan onhar il’lath ma en’as ithas mar inan = Will your own daughter still love you when she sees your true eyes?
> 
> Vara ash tor'ou min = Leave her out of this!


	46. The Nightmare Cometh

The Spirit of Hope hovers in front of us.  I can see the Nightmare before her. And I don’t get to see a giant spider.  I only see a massive, giant, huge mass of flesh and bone that rots and decays.  It moves and pulses, making a sicking wet noise. The Aspect looks like a mummy wrapped in a black robe.  The face is practically a skeleton with glowing red sockets.  _ The Broodmother would’ve been kinder... _  As Sera and I stare at it, we both clutch each other’s hands tight in silent terror.  As the Aspect of the Nightmare stares at us, the lower jaw slacks open and makes a gurgling, hissing sound.  Sera is crushing my hand now. 

The only blessing is through the rift, I can hear music.  My music. My rock and roll is still playing loud and strong.

“You must get through the rift, Inquisitor.  Slam it closed with all your strength. With that, you shall stop its army and banish it to the unknown.”  The spirit now moves towards the Aspect, her glow growing more orange and brighter. “If you would, tell Leliana, ‘I am sorry.  I failed you, too.’” With her power, she bursts into a brilliant light and knocks both the Aspect of the Nightmare and the creature itself back.  I morph into Link. It makes me feel powerful. Braver. Like I could have a chance at winning. And with that, we fight.

 

_ “Just a young gun, with a quick fuse _

_ I was uptight, wanna let loose _

_ I was dreamin’ of bigger things and _

_ Wanna leave my old life behind.” _

 

I hover in the back with Sera, trying my best to shoot bomb arrows at the creature.  But it keeps weaving and teleporting so much I can’t hit it. I fire and I miss. I fire and I miss.  The only reason Sera’s arrows actually land is that she’s firing like mad everywhere she can.  _ It’s a wonder she doesn’t hit one of our guys. _  With arrows and bombs off the list, I keep fishing through my inventory.   _ There’s nothing to attach my clawshots to.  No statues to control. The ball and chain are too slow for this fight and I can’t use the spinner.  Screw it, I’ll just do it the old-fashioned way and hit him! _

As I pull out my sword and run to join Cassandra and Bull, the creature turns to me, a scratching laugh echoing from the skull.

 

_“Not a yes sir, not a follower_ _  
__Fit the box, fit the mold_ _  
__Have a seat in the foyer, take a number_ _  
___I was lightning before the thunder”

 

“Tell me, Inquisitor, why do you even try?  You have no skills in combat, no sword training, and you’re a failure of a mage.  You’re useless in battle. If you surrender, I promise to make your death relatively quick…”  I respond to its taunt by leaping up behind it and stabbing the Master Sword through its spinal cord.  The blade shines a bright white in the darkness of this area. As I slide the sword back out, I can hear the scrape of metal on bone and a dry, cracking sound.  The Aspect only shakes me off and laughs. “Always trying to play the hero! Never the weak maiden you actually are!”  _ He wants a maiden?  I’ll give him that! _  As the song blares on, I run back from the fight and begin to concentrate.  I slow my breathing to try and make it more even.  _  I know just who to be.  And if the Master Sword did the damage it seemed to have done, than these should make this a cakewalk! _

 

The white cloth of the dress is light on my body.  It flutters slightly around me as it settles. The sandals I wear are hard and wrap tightly around my ankles.  There’s a belt wrapped just below my chest. I momentarily thumb over the Triforce symbol. I’ve never really worn anything sleeveless before.  _  Feels kinda nice.  But I can’t focus on that!  I have shit to do! Goddesses, Maker, whoever, whatever, please let me pull this off! _  I summon all my power, trying to focus the Mark to create what I need.  In a few moments, I feel a bright, warm heat in my hands. I open my eyes to see I was able to do it.  I’m holding a golden quiver full of Light Arrows. Quickly, I swing it over my shoulder and start running back to Sera.

“Sera!”  I call out to her as I try not to stumble over rocks.  “Sera!” The elf briefly stops shooting as I reach her.  Without a word, I shove the quiver in her hands.

“Take these.  Use them. They should deal a lot of damage.  I’ll try and hold it!” I call over my shoulder as I run to it.  “When I do, shoot it!” I see her ready the bow out of the corner of my eye as I turn back towards the monster.

 

_ “ _ _ Thunder, feel the thunder _

_ Lightning and the thunder _

_ Thunder, feel the thunder _

_ Lightning and the thunder _

_ Thunder, thunder _

_ Thunder” _

 

I clench and unclench my hand with the Mark, praying it and my magic will work this time.  _  Because the Triforce is a holy power I’m unsure if I’ll be able to copy it.  Yet I have with most so far. But I can’t do any form of magic and it is magic.  Yet, I’m so familiar with it, it might as well be my own. _  Regardless, I march on confidently.

“Oy!”  I yell at the Aspect as it hisses at Cassandra.  “How about you pick on me?” I see it turn for me and grin a sick grin- if it could even be called that.  As the demon begins to burst for me, I slow my breath and clear my mind. I widen my stance, dig my heels into the dirt, and throw out my hands.  There’s a yellow glow where the Mark normally glows green. From my hands bursts a tunnel of yellow energy. The Aspect is frozen mid-attack mere feet from me.

“Sera!”  I turn my head and call to her.  “Now!” Just as the word passes my lips, the Red Jenny lets the light arrows fire.  They stick in the demon’s left side, a couple in its head and a few in its torso. The creature shrieks an inhuman noise as it tries to wiggle from my grasp.  I’ve never tried something this strong before- I can feel my strength weining already.

“Hurry!  I can’t hold it for long!”  After this signal, I can see Bull already gearing up for a swing with his axe.

“Fuck you asshole!”  He yells as he cleaves the Aspect in two just as my barrier fades.  I feel weak and dizzy from doing that.  _ But I did it!  My plan worked!  I did it!  _  As I glance down at my hands I can see I’m unable to hold Zelda’s form.   _ We have to get out of here.  We have to get out of here now. _  I point at the Fade rift in the distance.

“We need to move!  Now!” Stroud, Alistair, and Hawke book it ahead of me, the companions hot on my heels.  I can’t tell where the giant Nightmare went, but we seem to be in the clear. We all might actually make it.  We’re so close now! I can almost see it. When we start to reach it, the companions burst ahead of us and jump through, first Sera and Bull, then Cassandra and Solas.  But just as the others and I approach, a fleshy mass blocks the way.

 

_ I was wrong.  I got my hopes up too much.  I have to make a choice… _

 

All four of us are silent until Alistair speaks.

“One of us will need to clear a path!”  He yells over the noise of the creature.  All three men glance at one another. Hawke unsheathes his greatsword and steps forward.

“Go!  I’ll cover you!”  He tries to command, but I grab ahold of his arm and yank him back.

“Hell no!”  I yell at him.  “Fenris would kill me if I let you do something stupid!”  Stroud quickly steps forward and places his arm in front of Hawke.

“No.  You were right, Hawke.  A Warden caused this. As the senior Grey Warden here, I-”

“A Warden must help them rebuild!”  Lachdanan finishes instead.  _ Fuck you, I can’t have you go making useless sacrifices on me! _  “That thing is mine…”  Meanwhile, Alistair shoves his way between them.

“Not to complain or anything here, but we need to make a decision.  As in now. I’ll-” I wack him in the chest.

“No!  No! You’re not doing that on me again!”  He frowns at me for a second.

“‘Again’?”  He repeats, but I don’t pay him attention.  I glance at Stroud. What’s a second feels like an eternity.  _  I’m going to send this man to his death in the Fade.  I don’t even know him that well. All I know his he shares a voice actor with Riordan from Origins.  Maybe I should have gotten to know him better. Or would that make it hurt more? _

“S-Stroud…”  I try to sound level, but my voice cracks anyway.  He gives a slow, sad, knowing nod. Stiffly, he gives me a salute and bows.  It feels like it takes a million years.

“Inquisitor, it has been an honor.”

And then he walks to his death with as much honor and dignity as anyone could.  As the rest of us run for the rift, I barely hear his last words over the roar of returning to the physical world.

 

The second my boots hit the ground I waste no time in raising my hand, creating a familiar connection to the rift.  As it grows in strength, the demons around us collapse and writhe like they’ve been electrocuted.  _  I feel so weak and sick, but I have to pull through.  I can’t let Stroud die for nothing! _  As the connection severs, I snap my fingers and the rift closes shut.  All around me both Wardens and my soldiers cheer alike, holding aloft swords and raised fists.  Lachdanan does not join them, instead choosing to solemnly walk to me. I see Alistair has moved to stand with my companions.

“The spirit was right.  Without the Nightmare to control them, the mages are free, and Corypheus lost his demon army.  But as far as they’re concerned, the Inquisitor broke the spell with a blessing from the Maker and his Bride.”  I scowl at the thought.  _ While it is tempted to keep denying it, if word gets out I walked physically in the Fade, others might try it.  That would never be good. Besides, these people haven’t once believed almost anything I’ve said. Why start now? _

“Let them have their cake, I guess.  I’m too tired to protest.” For a brief moment, Hawke smiles.

“They need something to believe in.”  At that moment, a scout comes running up to us.

“Inquisitor!”  He momentarily bows.  “The Archdemon flew off as soon as you disappeared.”

“Oh.  My. God.  It’s not an Archdemon!”  I yell out to no one in particular.  Everyone looks at me, puzzled. Hawke steps forward with a frown.

“And how are you so sure…?”  I roll my eyes and gesture around us.

“Where’s all the fuckin’ Darkspawn, eh?  I don’t see any, do you?” All around me are a few mutters.  I twist around and point at a random Warden. “You! You there, did you sense any of the taint in that thing?”  He looks a little confused at being put on the spot and meekly drops his gaze.

“I’ve never seen an Archdemon before this, your Worship…”  _  Wait, Alistair is right there! _  I turn back around and point to my former second-in-command.

“Al, you were there at the Battle of Denerim!  Was that thing anything like Urthemiel? Did you sense anything like an Archdemon?”  He makes an exaggerated face as he glances around.

“Well, no…”  I snap my fingers in satisfaction.

“See!  Not. An.  Archdemon.”  The scout coughs to get my attention.

“...The Venatori magister is unconscious but alive.  The Spymistress thought you might want to deal with him yourself.  As for the Wardens, those who weren’t corrupted helped us fight the demons.”  A senior Warden in warrior armor steps forward and salutes me.

“We stand ready to make up for Clarel’s… tragic mistake.  But where is Stroud?” Alistair, Hawke and I each look at the ground, silent.  It comes rushing at me again. My throat hurts and feels like it's closing around me.  I’m not weeping, I feel too stunned for tears to fall.  _ I… I sent a man to his death.  All because I was selfish and didn’t want to sacrifice my character or my friend...  _  After a brief few moments, the crowd does so too, in understanding.  Lachdanan, as usual, speaks up instead of me.

“Warden Stroud died striking a blow against a servant of the Blight.  We should all honor his sacrifice and remember how he exemplifies the ideals of the Grey Wardens.”  After Hawke’s little speech, everyone murmurs in agreement- until the Warden speaks up.

“Wait- Inquisitor, we have no one left of any significant rank!  What do we do now?” I stare back at him, unsure myself.

“I…”   _ I spared the Warden’s when I played the game.  That seems like a good option. But… they did kill a lot of their fellows.  But they were scared for their lives and the lives of everyone should they fall.  People do irrational things when hysterical. And if I remember right, before Origins the Wardens got exiled from Ferelden for engaging in a coup that went badly.  If history were to repeat itself who knows the consequences of banishing the Wardens from the south? _  “You all were terrified for your lives and followed someone tricked into making many horrible mistakes.  People aren’t infallible. So, taking that into account, I’m going to ask if you’d fight for the Inquisition until Corypheus is defeated.”  The Warden swiftly salutes and drops to his knee.

“Of course, your Worship!  You do us a great mercy.” I grimace as I start to walk  I grimace as I walk past him and start weaving my way through bowed men.  To the side, my friends all stand and look at me strangely.

“Yeah, yeah, I get it.”  There's an awkward silence that Hawke tries to fill.

“In either case, someone will need to inform those at Weisshaupt.  While you restore the order, Inquisitor, I shall inform the Wardens there.” I give Hawke a thumbs up.

“Sure.  You do that.”

 

* * *

 

Back at Skyhold, we arrive in the evening.  Alistair elected to travel with us and deal with the fallout for his ‘leave of absence’.  The other companions left to do their own thing.  _ I might have my phone back and charged, but I feel kind of lonely now.  Stroud still feels like an open wound. This giant room somehow makes it feel worse.  Like I don't deserve it. To be here. Why me? Why did that machine pick me? It could have been anyone.  From any time. Why- _

 

The door to my room swings open and then slams with a thud.  A quick and light pair of footsteps comes up the stairs to reveal Sera.  She has dark circles under her eyes. Her hair is slightly more messy. She's wearing a similar red tunic to what she normally wears- this time without her leggings.  She clutches a small, square pillow in her arms as she silently and huffily trots over to me. I open my mouth to ask what's wrong, but as soon as I get the first syllable out, the pillow is thrown at me hard.

“Hey!” I blink in surprise.  “What was that?”

“Just shut up and listen, yeah?” She demands before she goes on.  “Never again. You hear me?” I start to ask what she means but she holds up a finger and I fall silent.

“Everyone is pretending it makes sense.  Demons and visions and elfy magic, all of it.  The Fade isn't real!” Now she starts nervously wringing her hands together, having the same expression she had in the Fade.  “And I saw nothing. Nothing. They were like, little empty  _ things _ … Like there's nothing in the dark.  No point.” Sera now frowns and starts messing with the hem of her shirt.

“Stupid, right? That shouldn't be scary like… like it was.  I'd have taken corpses.” Now she kind of laughs and I can't tell if its genuine or nerves.  “Like you! You're scared of corpses. And bones. And gore. Birds. Heights. All that stuff!”  Now that there's a pause and that she's in a slightly better mood, I can speak.

“I'm only scared of big birds. Like chickens or eagles.” Sera smiles for a few seconds.

“That's good, cause little ones are everywhere.” Now Sera takes the pillow from my lap and sits beside me, her legs crossed and clutching the pillow to her chest.  “It's stupid to think about anyway. Everyone going on about imaginary stuff when real people died? Probably. Stroud, yeah? Lost a serious mustache there. And in trade, a busted down bunch of Wardens.  And they're always weird. Usually, bad stuff happens first, so you're glad when the heroes show up. But Wardens are the wrong way round. They're a good thing that means a bad thing is about to happen. Like in Denerim, when the Blight ended.

“What kind of stuff did you see? Must have been a lot going on.”

“People talked a lot about this one Warden.  There was a big fight and they died, or maybe they didn't?”

“The Hero of Ferelden?”

“Yeah.  That was ages ago.  Ten years. I was playing with small painted boxes and burying stuff I stole.  I remember more people cringing about magic than Blight. Wardens were an excuse for your stuff to go missing.  Blackwall’s nice though. Different from the Adamant ones. We need more like him.” Now she turns her face from me and frowns, chewing on her lower lip.  “I still can’t get the friggin’ Nightmare outta my head.” She grumbles. I see her eyes flit to me before turning back.

“Can I… stay?”  I nod to her and place a hand on her shoulder.  She doesn’t brush me off like she did Cass.

“Sure, if that helps you feel better.”  I see her give me a toothy smile as her face turns to me.

“Brilliant!  Say, about that… thing?”  She asks, suddenly pointing to my phone.  “What exactly do you do for fun, wherever that came from?  Your home?” I kind of shrug. I don’t have any video games here.  I don’t have access to my computer. All I can think of is Youtube or…  Hey, what about Netflix?

“Well, I have an app on here that can let us watch movies.  Do you like stand-up?” She blinks, her eyes darting to my phone.

“What?”

“A person stands in front of an audience and tells jokes.  I watch them a lot. Here,” I say, typing in my passcode and waiting for Netflix to boot up.  “I’ll show you one, I think you’ll like her sense of humor. If it’s too strange for you, we can do something else.”     
  


Sera warms up slowly to the idea of my phone and Netflix.  She likes stand-up. For some of the jokes, I have to pause and explain parts of my culture, but other than that she catches on quick.  She giggles into her pillow after the second movie. It’s almost early dawn now.

“I’m so gonna steal that ‘party goblin’ bit!  Friggin genius!” She sits up. “I bet that’ll give your soldiers a lark, right?”  As I sit up, I see her face contort in thought for a moment, before she goes wide-eyed and smacks her pillow into my chest.  After I grunt, I purse my lips at her.

“A warning would have been nice.”  Now she hops off the bed and whirls on me, pointing with a finger.

“You have a problem.  All your soldiers run around with their heads up their ass in glory and honor n’ shite!  They worship you like you’re made of glass despite all the crap you do to make yourself normal!  Frig, you’ve got a tavern full of people and they’re always drinking alone.” Now she points a thumb at herself to make a point.  “We can’t have fun with everybody whinging. And they’ll fall on their swords before Coryphenus can push ‘em.” Now I sit on the edge of the bed.

“Okay, my soldiers are a bunch of boring flour bags.  What’s your point?” Now she clasps her hands together and grins.

“I’m thinking pranks.”   _ Oh.  Oh, this is that cutscene! _

“Yes!”  I immediately reply.  “I’ve been so bored with all this noble crap!  It’s so stupid! And after that Fade shit, this place could use something less melodramatic.”  Sera grins at me wider, her eyes alight.

“What, really?”

“Really!”  Now she giggles and drags me up by the wrist.

“I knew you were different!”  She says, slightly bouncing on her heels and giving me a few arm punches.  “Let’s go!”

And before I can say anything, Sera is quickly and quietly hauling me by my wrist into a silent, unknowing morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First major Skyhold quest done! Now I'm devoting the next however-many-chapters to the Inner Circle's personal quests. As always, I have a tumblr for my writing, so if you want to ask anything or send me ideas you'd like me to consider, my ask box is always open! Thank you for reading, it means a lot.
> 
> https://pyroraptorwrites.tumblr.com/


	47. Pranks

We’re about halfway to Cullen’s door when Sera abruptly stops.  I just got finished telling her about the crap Cullen pulled at my promotion and the stink eye he gave me during the siege.

“You mean he’s still being a tosser ‘cause you make his pants tight?  Piss on him!” I blush and look away at her description.  _ The less I think about why Cullen hates me the better.  The less interaction I have with Cullen the better. _  “I got an idea, come on!”  She waves me to follow as she changes course for the stairs.

“Where are we going?”

“The tavern, Quiz-Quiz!  Gotta ask Bull for somefin.”  I make a face.

“‘Quiz-Quiz’?”

“Titles are stupid.”  She answers. “I make fun of ‘em.  So, Inquisitor, Quiz-Quiz.”

“Works for me.”

 

When we enter, it’s unusually quiet.  I see Cabot over by the bar, cleaning.  The only people down here are the Chargers.  Krem is in his chair, as usual, sitting on the top of the back like his glitch.   _ I guess some things never change. _ Bull stands near him, facing the door, talking about something I didn’t catch.  As soon as Sera and I enter, Krem quickly sits normally and the Qunari flags us over.

“Hey, Boss.  Sera, I had a thought.  The next time we run into a line of enemies, I’ll pick you up and throw you.”  Sera twists up her face in confusion.

“Get off!”  After her retort, Krem tries to stifle a laugh.  At Sera’s refusal, Bull starts waving his hands to try and get her back.

“No!  This could work.  I loft you over the front rank, and you land behind them to flank… mayhem ensues.”  The elf only throws up her arms in the air.

“I can’t fly, ya daft tit!”

“Think of the mayhem, Sera!”  Bull gleefully speculates. “Mayhem!”  Sera only stamps her foot and crosses her arms.

“I’d get a wedge-up something fierce!”  Bull makes a face at her continual rejection.

“Look, you, Varric, and the Boss are the only ones small enough.  He’s pretty… let’s say dense and Boss here would just start screaming bloody murder.”  I just shrug in agreement.

“He’s right.”  Sera still won’t have anything of the idea.

“Well, do some bloody presses then!  Listen, I didn’t come here to chat, I need a favor.  You got any lube?” 

Both Krem, Bull, and I look at Sera very confused.

“Whoa, whoa, you never said anything about lube!  What’s it for?” I protest. Sera places a finger to her lips.

“It’s a secret, Quiz-Quiz.  It’s for pranks, yeah?” Bull just sighs and walks over to the chair he normally sits in, now fishing through a bag of some sort.  Krem still looks confused.

“Who’s it gonna be this time?”  She flashes a grin.

“We’re gonna get Commander Tight-Pants!”  Krem looks momentarily shocked but isn’t all that phased.

“So the rumors about how the Commanders been acting are true?  I thought they were just something the Orleasens made up.” Now Bull comes over and tosses Sera a small bottle.

“You have any of that left over after you're done, I get it back.”  Sera just nods as she stows it away in a pouch.

“Sure, sure.”  Sera and I turn to leave, but the Qunari places a hand on my shoulder before I can fully turn around.

“Boss,”  He says in a quieter voice.  “If that Commander of yours does anything else to you, you come talk to me.”  I look at him a few moments. He’s got a sincere look in his one eye. His hand is rough, but he’s not crushing my shoulder at all.  Slowly, I give him a couple nods. This makes him smile and he gives me a pat on the shoulder and lets me go.

“You go have fun, Boss.”

* * *

 

“Right, General Uptight is gone.”  Sera hisses as she slowly opens the door to his office.

“How do you know?”  I hiss back at her, glancing at the loft above.  She catches my gaze and pulls me in, shutting the door behind me.

“I figured out his schedule weeks ago.  He leaves early in the morning to start preparing for drills.  Jackboot ain’t about.” Now she points at the room around me. “Have a look about.  Find something to mess with and give your soldiers a laugh.” Now she points to the ladder.

“I’ll be quick!”  Now she laughs as she climbs the ladder.  I start glancing around. I remember the desk has something to do with it.  I glance at the surface, scanning around out of curiosity and idleness. There’s a pile of official papers and supply orders, but they're piled up on something.  _  I shouldn’t look.  It’s his personal stuff.  He doesn’t like me anyway.  And yet… _  Against my better judgment, I move the pile aside and stare in shock at what it was covering.  It’s his lyrium kit. The latch isn’t fully closed. I carefully open the lid and look at the contents.  I don’t know what any of this stuff is. But it doesn’t look like it’s been used for a while. Moved around slightly, but not used.   _ He’s been struggling a lot, hasn’t he?  Man, now I just feel awful! _   I see to my left an ink quill and blank papers.  Quickly, I take a page and scribble a note on it.

**‘You don’t have to take it.  You’re stronger than that.’**

I place it in the lyrium kit and close it, placing the papers like I’d found them.  It’s not much, and I still don’t really care for him, but maybe it’ll help him some.  About ten seconds later, Sera slides down the ladder and trots over.

 

“What, the desk?”  She asks as she peers at it through the early morning light.  “Oh, yeah, center of the empire and all that. What to do… What to do…”  I rap on the surface with my knuckles. It’s made of solid wood.

“It looks way to heavy for the two of us to move it at all.”  

“I got it!”  Sera gives a little hop and nabs something from the desktop before bending down to one of the legs.  “Easy one! Just slip a bit of something under here…” I hear a plunk sound and she hops back up.

“There!  It’s just a little bit wobbly now.  He likes to be in control so much, this’ll piss him royally!”  She starts walking for the door we came in. As I shut the door as quietly and gently as I can, she keeps explaining.  “I tell one of your soldiers and boom!” She snaps her fingers for emphasis.

“The mighty General Piss-Dick seems like people!  Come on, next one!” As we walk through the rotunda our steps echo.  _  I don’t hear anyone awake.  Probably only Leliana. _

  
“Why’d you call him ‘Piss-Dick’?”  I ask as we start to cross the hall to Josie’s office.  Sera has a sort of pout as she speaks.

“‘Cause he’s been a dick to you and it pisses me off!”  The door swings wide open to reveal not a soul in the room.   _ Sera’s either memorized everyone’s schedules so she knows where she can be when or has incredible luck.  Both. Probably both. _  She rubs her hands together as we start to scope things out.

“Right, little Lady Prissy-Pants!  Have a look around for something she likes too much.”  As Sera starts to enter, I tap her on the shoulder and point behind me.

“What about the Stargate here?”  She makes a face at me and shrugs.

“Just the door?”  But as she thinks about it her face lights up.  “Where she greets every important idiot! Yes!” Now she maniacally giggles as she points in the direction of the kitchen.  “Let’s get a bucket.”

 

I struggle to keep her up on my shoulders as she hangs the bucket on the nail.

“Are you done yet?”  I hiss at her.  _ This girl weighs more than I thought.  Or I have the upper arm strength of a marshmallow. _

“Got it, Birdy.”  I let go of her ankles and she hops down like it was nothing.  I catch my breath and rotate my shoulders. “Classic, yeah? Five minutes of sloppy boss gets two weeks of happy kitchen staff.  Except for the guy who cleans it up… Whatever! Next stop!”

Now I’m dragged up all the stairs to Leliana’s lair.  To my surprise, she’s not up here. Weird. The birds don’t like our intrusion and start to caw and ruffle their feathers.  Sera just blows a raspberry at them and leads me to a back corner. I make as a face as we start looking about for something.

“Are you really sure about this?”  She turns over her shoulder and laughs.

“Just something to get our Shadow of Birds loosened up.  Gotta be something.” I feel so sneaky up here. Somehow fishing though Leliana’s stuff feels more hype than the other’s.  As I start slowly looking around I can’t help humming to myself.

“ _ Da na naaaaaaa.  Da na naaaaaaaaa.  Da na naaaaaaa. Nana.  Ba ba, baba, ba ba, baba, ba ba, baba, ba ba, baba. DUN DUN DUNDUN DUN DUN DUNDUN DUN.  Ba na naaaaaaa! Ba na- _ **OW** !”  Sera chucks something it me that lands squarely in the back of me head.

“Knock it off, you’re being loud, weirdy!”

“Sorry… I got to into it.”  I shut my mouth and start looking closer.   _ I like the Mission Impossible theme too.  _  I walk to the other side of the room, noticing a locked box on top of some crates.  It’s about at my waist level.

“Hey, Sera!”  I whisper to her.  “I found a thing.” The elf quickly makes her way to me, barely creating a sound on the old wood underneath us.  She slightly tilts her head as she purses her lips and thinks.

“No…”  She finally decides.  “Leave that. We’re not interested in her hidden things.  Not for a bit of fun.” As the birds caw, she takes notice of them again. 

“Maybe feed her messengers something gassy?  Wait, birds don’t parp. But they flap, and uh…”   _ What the heck does ‘parp’ mean? _  But then we’re interpreted by someone below.

“Who’s up there?”  I almost hear the Metal Gear exclamation point noise go off in my head.

“Book it!”  I hiss again to her.  She almost bursts out laughing as we make our escape to an exit. 

 

We eventually end up back near the tavern.  Sera, only slightly less out of breath than I am, turns to me as we stop for a moment, the coast clear.

“I’ve come up with the last three, you got any ideas, mate?”  I frown as I brush my bangs out of my eyes. “Somethin’ that’ll give people a lark, you know?  Something funny. I don’t do mean stuff to little people.”

“Uhh, put glitter in Dorian’s hair wax?”  She blinks at me.

“What’s glitter?”  I scrunch up my face and waver her off.   _ Okay, no glitter… what about... _

“Okay, we get Barkspawn, and stick a sign on him that it’s me and get him to sit on the throne.”  She laughs but shakes her head.

“He’d get out of it in a minute, though.  Besides, getting into the King’s quarters is hard.  Tried it once. Didn’t go well. Anything else?”  _ Oh, this should be good! _

“We get three sheep and label them one, two, and four!”  Sera gestures around us and spins.

“Where in the bloody Frostbacks are we getting sheep at this hour?”  We both stand in silence for a few seconds.

“I have no more ideas.”  At this, she shrugs and waves me to follow her.  She leads me back into the tavern.

 

“Think we had a good run today, either way.  Might as well call it good. Oy, Kreme Puff!”  Krem turns his head to Sera with a slight frown on his face.

“Yeah?”

“Catch!”  She says, tossing the bottle Bull lent her in the air.  Krem is able to catch it with his left hand.

“Nice toss.”  Sera grins at him.

“Tell your boss ‘Thanks’ for me, yeah?”  With that, she points at a chair for me to sit in as she plunks in the seat across from me.  “That was fun!”  _  I’m exhausted from all the running she made me do.  Was all that really necessary? _

“An Inquisitor of the people, still remembering you’re one of us.  If all they got was the ‘Herald’ stuff,” Her finger starts idly tracing the grain of the wood as she speaks.  

“-all the serious bits, you might seem pretty scary.  That works- sort of- but not for long.” I laugh to myself before sharing.

“I think Machiavelli would argue that, but I like it!”  Sera scrunches up her nose in confusion.

“Who’s that?  Sounds Antivan to me.”  I wave my hand slightly as I lean back in the chair.

“Some Italian writer who wrote a book about how to be a good ruler.  Said something like ‘it’s better to be feared and respected than loved and well liked.’  But he only did that to suck up to some elite noble, so what’s he know?” Sera gives a quick, jerk of a nod.

“Yeah, suck-ups are the worst!”

“So, what’d you do with the lube anyway?  You never told me.” Sera looks briefly surprised but starts laughing to herself.

“Oh, that?  I swapped it with Cullen’s hair gel.  Now instead of his cultivated look, he’ll be a curly wet noodle!”  I can barely contain my laughter as we both start giggling at the mental image.  After about thirty seconds, neither of us can breathe. After we calm down some, Sera finally speaks.  “ Anyway, fun time, Quiz-Quiz.” She leaps out of the chair and starts to head for the stairs.

 

“Where’re you goin’?”  I ask as I lean back some more.  She turns around and points up with a crooked smile on her face.

“To bed?  To sleep? Like people do?”   _ Yeah, that makes sense… _  But just as Sera puts a foot on the stairs, the tavern door bursts open to reveal a soaked Josephine Montilyet in the most poofy, frilly nightgown I’ve ever seen.  As soon as she spots Sera, she points hard at her.

“Oh frig!”  The Red Jenny starts to bolt up the steps.

“You!”  My Ambassador starts to enter the building but Sera proves too quick.  From the upper landing, the elf points at me.

“You did it!”  Before she starts cackling and slams the door shut to her room.  As Josephine turns to me, water dripping on the floor, I feel even more scared than when I saw the Nightmare.

“I didn’t do it!”  I yell out, knowing full well I did, and start booking it up the steps.  As soon as I get to Sera’s door I start tugging, but it won’t open. “Sera, open up!”  I hear muffled laughter inside it.

“Sera, we’re partners, you can’t abandon me!”

“I can’t hear you, I’m sleeping!”  She calls out from the other side of the door.

“Damn it, Sera, come on!”

* * *

 

By the time most everyone is awake, the lecture is finally over.   _ I thought it would never end.  I’ve never seen Josie that grumpy or disappointed. _  The hall is barely filled with nobles right now.  I see Varric’s up and-

 

_ Hold the phone. _

_ Who the heck is that? _

 

I not so subtly start to walk closer to Varric and whoever he’s talking to.  They’re a dwarf, around the same height as both Varric and I. Their back is to me and they wear a hood.   _ Is this who I think it is? _

“I appreciate the warning, but you shouldn't have come yourself.  What if the Guild found out? Or whatshisname?”

“Are you worrying for me or for yourself?”  I stop dead in my tracks.  _ I know that voice.  That’s that vampire lady from Skyrim.  And Catwoman from Telltale Batman. And… other stuff I can’t think of.  That’s Bianca… _

“A little of column A, a little of column B.  I am the expendable one, after all.” Varric continues, pointing to himself.  Bianca just laughs.

“Aww, don’t worry, I’ll protect you.  We’ll just have to-” But after I catch Varric’s eye, she quickly turns around and peers at me.

“Who the heck are you?”  She asks in a slightly accusatory tone, almost sizing me up.  I frown to myself before smirking.  _ I know just who I want to imitate here. _

“Who the heck are  **you** ?”  I shoot back in Deandra’s voice.

“I asked you first!”

“I asked you second!”  Varric looks one second away from getting a drink.

“Guys…”  He grumbles while stepping next to Bianca.  “Bianca, this is Dots. Dots, this is… my friend, Bianca.”  Bianca makes a wild variety of faces before settling on a smile.  It feels like she’s being oily; like she’s trying to weasel something out of me.

“Well, this is a surprise.  You’re the Inquisitor, right?  Bianca Davri, at your service.”  I switch back to my normal voice, addressing Varric.

“So this is the crossbow lady?”  Before Varric can get a word out, his ‘friend’ answers for him.

“It’s a common name.  Half the girls in the Merchant's Guild are named Bianca, the other half are named Helga.  I got lucky.”  _ Uh-huh. _

“Sooo, what’s with the whispering?  Anything I should know about?” Finally, Varric answers.

 

“She’s taken huge of risk coming here.  Maybe for both of us.” Bianca only laughs off his concern.   _ Is this like a mask for her? _

“You’re such a worrier!  The giant hole in the sky is gone.  I think the Merchant's Guild has other things to think about.”

“Bianca’s got a lead on where Corypheus found his Red Lyrium.  It’s… it’s that thaig.” By the sound of his voice and that pause, it can only mean one place.

“Crap dude.  That sucks. But who was the leak?”  Bianca makes no comment on my manner of speech.  _  I know it’s her.  I already know this. _

“There’s a Deep Roads entrance crawling with strange humans carting out Red Lyrium by the handful.”

“As far as the leak goes, the ones who knew were a few hirelings, a couple close friends, that merchant and his son.”   _ ENCHANTMENT! _  Regardless of my thought process, Bianca continues to speak.

“How they found out isn’t important.  What matters is we know where they are now.”   _ Bianca, you’re really doing a bang up job of not being suspicious here. _

“Well, we gotta deal with this ASAP.  Red Lyrium is bad mojo. Also knock Corphy down a few pegs, that’s good too.”  Varric seems pleased.

“I couldn’t agree more, Dots.”  Bianca almost looks a little annoyed from under her hood.   _ I wonder why? _

“I’ll keep an eye on their operations.  If you’ve got an interest in shutting it down, you’ve got my help.”  Now she turns to Varric, a hand on her hip and an eyebrow raised. “Try not to keep me waiting too long, Varric.  I’ve got my own work to do, you know.” Varric and I watch as she turns and walks out the front door.

“Right, that’d not going to be trouble.  Whenever you’re ready to head out, Dots, just give me the word.”  I nod to him as I start to head out myself.

“Not a problem, Varric.  Just got a few things to do around here first.”

  
_I wanna ask Bull about what he meant this morning anyway.  I’m really not sure just what to do about Cullen._


	48. Questions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Happy Father's day! Here's some more Dad'Harel content!

The second I enter the training yard, I see Cassandra wacking the Iron Bull with a stick the size of a ball bat.

 

**WACK!.**

“Again.”  The Qunari grunts.

 

**CRACK!**

“Again…”

 

**WACK!**

Now he huffs in annoyance as Cassandra’s stick hitting abilities.  “Oh, come on! This is why the Qun doesn’t like women fighting. I should have asked Cullen.”  Both Cass and I frown at that statement. I cup my hands as I walk closer.

“Fuck him up, Cass!  Get ‘im good!” She glances briefly over her shoulder at me before looking back at Bull, winding up and giving him a solid hit.

 

**BAM!**

The giant Qunari lands flat on his back.  He raises a hand with a thumbs up.

“...Good one.”  He winces in pain from the ground.  As I approach, Cassandra hands me the stick.

“Perhaps you can take over.”  She slightly smiling to herself.  “And I do not need my own cheering squad, Catherine.”  I made an exaggerated face.

“But everyone needs their own cheering squad!  And you’re so awesome, how could I not?” As she walks away, she tries to hide a smile and shakes her head.  Bull finally gets up and brushes himself off. He has to double take when I’m the one holding the stick.

“Qunari training exercise to master your fear.  Been awhile since I needed it. That Nightmare demon was… big.”

“So, like, can you tell me why I’m smacking you like a pinata?”  He kind of shrugs.

“Probably, if I try.  I’d involve a lot of Qunari words, though.  But, uh, no offense, Boss… But I don’t know if you’re the right guy to hit me with the stick.  You’re kinda… small. And about as tough as-”

 

**wack**

I hit him in annoyance, but he just laughs.  “See what I mean?” I scowl and try again, swinging as hard as I can.

 

**wack**

“Listen, I appreciate you trying to help, but-”

 

 **wack**   _Man, this isn’t working!  Maybe if I change into someone who can…  I’ve got it!_  Quickly, I morph into Aveline and gear up for another swing.  Bull looks at me for a moment.

“Who’s this?”

“A woman shaped battering ram, now am I hitting you or not?”  He nods yes.

 

 **WACK!**  Bull appreciated this a lot more.

“Yeah!  There we go!”

 

**WACK!**

“Damn demon!”

 

**BAM!**

“Who’s stuck in the Fade now, huh?”

 

**BAM!**

“Piece of Fade, piece of crap!”  I chuckle at this phrase.

“You tell ‘em, Bull.”  He frowns for a second.

“Less talking, more hitting.”  I shrug.

“Alright then.”

 

**WAP!**

“And who killed you?”

 

**WAP!**

“That’s right!  The Iron _fucking_ Bull!”  Now he raises his hands to signal me to stop wanking him.  “Thanks, Boss. Nice choice with the redhead.” I give him a thumbs up.

“I try.  Say, can I ask you about this morning?  About Cullen?” Now he looks a lot more concerned.

“Has something happened?”

 

I turn back into myself and look away.

“No, but… I’m not sure what to do about him.  Like, he’s been a huge jerk and has no right to treat someone like that, but I also know he’s going through some tough times…”  But Bull stops me talking by raising a hand.

“Listen, Boss, you don’t have to take that kind of crap from anyone.  You don’t worry about it for now.  I’ll talk to your Commander for you.”  I look at him trying to figure out if he’s going to talk talk or rough him up talk.  It just seems like talking.

“You’d do that?”  He slaps a hand down on my shoulder and nods.

“Hell yeah, I would!  And listen, if you wanna come by the tavern later and meet my boys, feel free.”  As he lets go, I beam up at him.

“Sounds great!”

* * *

 

I end up wandering Skyhold lost in my own head.   _Bull wanting to confront his fears about the Fade only reminded me of what I did to Stroud.  I feel so guilty still. And what that spirit said still confuses me. The ancient elves built a portal to try and invade my world.  But it didn’t work? Why? How? For what reason did it pick me? And Solas seemed like it was new information to him. Could he still be lying?  Does he know anything?_  I turn my head toward the rotunda entrance.   _I suppose there’s one way to find out._

As soon as I enter, I find Solas to my left, standing on a stool, a paintbrush in his hand.  I the bottom of this section of the wall already has the beginnings of one of his murals. On the rest of the wall above us, I can see an outline of the image.   _His style is… I don’t know how to put it.  It’s not Renaissance or Humanist or like any I’ve seen from the medieval time period.  It looks much older, the shapes jagged and stylized. Almost reminds me of the artwork on Ancient Greek pottery or perhaps even cave drawings- but that might be stretching it._

“Hey, Dad.”  But Solas doesn’t even turn his head or make any sound of acknowledgment.  It’s like he’s fully absorbed in his work. I guess it’s better me having to get him out of that than wake him up.  “Dad.” I try a little louder this time, but again, I get nothing out of him. I walk up beside him, hoping this might work instead of standing behind him.

“Dad!”  Even with this distance, he’s still in the zone.  Now that I’m closer, I take a look at the pallet in his hand.  He’s using a lot of dark colors and greys. I frown as I wonder what would get him to talk to me?  I look again at the paints. There’s a lot of white closest to me. I smile as I quickly put a dab on my finger.  I have to get on my tiptoes, but I can barely reach his face. Quickly, I swipe the paint on his cheek and step back.  

 

Solas blinks, almost like he’s stepped into the sunlight.  After he briefly looks around and spots me, he gives me a look.  It’s not disappointment or anger. He’s trying to be, sure, but I can see some fondness in his eyes.  He quickly turns his gaze from me and back to his work.

“Hello, Catherine.”  I smile and wave at him.

“Yay, you’re alive!  I was getting worried there for a sec.”  His brush moves in small, swift strokes.

“I was merely concentrating.”  I peer at the part he’s working on.  It just seems like the background, but I can’t be sure.

“Some concentration you have.  Do you mind if I ask you something?  About the Fade?” He nods as he continues to paint his mural.

“Go ahead, da’l-”  He quickly stops himself and makes a face.  I grin. He’s slipping up. “Go ahead.” He finishes.

“About that spirit we met said, how I was sent here by some sort of Elvish machine that crosses dimensions?  You’ve wandered the Fade a lot a learned about Ancient Elves. Do you know anything about that, Dad?” When I ask this question his brush stops dead.  He stares ahead at the wall, frowning, a sad look on his face.

“I am sorry.  I know as much as you do.”  Now he sets the brush and paint aside and steps down.  “If I may ask, what would you hope to gain by learning about this device?  Are you trying to find a way back to your home?” _I can see why he’d ask such a thing.  He wants to know if I think the same way he does about his situation.  Because if I say yes, he’d approve because he’d be getting validation. I want to get it into his head there are other ways._

“I honestly don’t know.  I really want to figure out why it picked me; if there’s any reason.  As far as home goes… I don’t know. I don’t want to leave all you guys behind.  And with the Mark I can’t leave until the rifts are sealed and Corphy is gone. Even if I could go back, I’m not sure if I could adapt back to that life.  I’m a little different now, I guess.” The elf nods a couple times, slowly taking in what I said. _Is it enough to set him on the path to a different ending?_

“I see.  If you would indulge me, what were you like before the Anchor?”  I make a face in confusion and stare at my right hand. “Has it affected you?  Changed you in any way? Your mind, morals, your spirit…?”

“I don’t think so?  I’m still me. The only thing that’s changed me here is the experiences I’ve had.”

“Ah.”  He says in a clipped statement.

“How come?”  He pauses to collect his words.  He looks a little unsure of himself like he’s almost hesitant to speak his mind.

“You show a maturity I have not seen since…  Since my deepest journeys into the ancient memories of the Fade.  You are not what I expected.”

“Uh… okay?”  He sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose.

“It’s not disappointing, it’s…”  He falters again before continuing.  “Most people are predictable. But you have shown a subtly in your actions.  A wisdom that goes against everything I know of your people.” Oh crap! This is part of his racism showing up.

“‘My people’?  Solas, I come from an alternate dimension with a different history and cultures.  Of course, I’m different. You can’t just lump everyone together in stereotypes. You should take each person as they are, human or not.”  Now he genuinely frowns, disliking that statement.

 

“Perhaps, but I have seen enough of the world to know I was not misinformed.  Most people are small… petty.” _Damn it, egg-dad, don’t make me crack you!_

“So are Dorian, Corypheus, and that Erimond guy all the same because they’re human Tevinter mages?”

“Well, I-”

“No, they’re not, because they had different experiences that made them different people.  Maybe you need to do some rethinking, Dad. Try not to judge a book by its genre.” He grows quiet for a few moments before looking me in the eye.

“You make an interesting point, Catherine.”  He concerns. “But in either case, I care-” Then he quickly stops himself and backtracks.  “I respect you deeply.” I fold my arms and look at him.

“People have can have different opinions, I guess.  So just what have you experienced to give you such a view of people?  You’ve never really talked much about yourself, mostly your Fade journeys.  I wanna know more about you, Dad.” At this, the slightly hostile air between us fades.  He takes on a much more pleasant look.

“You continue to surprise me.”  He muses. “Alright, let us talk, but preferably somewhere more interesting than this.”

* * *

 

We climb the steps of an empty Haven.  All the buildings still stand tall. The sun is bright and the mountain air is slightly cold.  The snow around us almost glitters. I stop at the top of the stairs, near Varric’s old stomping grounds.

“Haven?  Why?”

“Haven is familiar.”  He explains as he moves along, forcing me to half jog to catch up with him.  “It is important to you.” The elf leads me into the Chantry and starts descending down into the prison.

“I mean, yeah, but didn’t it burn down a while ago?”  My Elvhen mentor turns to me, a mischievous twinkle in his eye.

“Did it?”  He asks. _Solas gets a lot more trickster-like in the Fade.  Maybe because he’s so comfortable here?_  He stops near the center of the room I woke up in.  The iron bar that held my hands lies open on the floor.

“I sat beside you while you remained unconscious; studying the Anchor.”  I tilt my head a little.

“How long could it take you to study a Fade mark on my hand?”

“A magical mark of unknown origin?  Tied to a unique breech in the Veil?  And carrying it a mysterious young woman from who knows where?  Longer than you might think.” He has a slight smile on his face as he speaks, almost invisible in the dark light down here.  “I ran every test I could imagine, searched the Fade, yet found nothing.” Now he points to the center, where an image of us appears out of smoke.  I lie there, unconscious, the Mark sparking wildly, Solas bent over me. Cassandra hovers on the edge of the room, looking cross.

“Cassandra suspected duplicity.  She threatened to have me executed as an Apostate were I unable to procure a result.” _Oh, how close Cassandra was to the truth…  If she’d have gone through with that, and we figured out how to seal the Breach without Solas, could Cassandra have saved the world?  I can only wonder._  I smile and give him a shrug.

“That’s Cassandra for you.”  Solas gives a short laugh at this.

“Yes, true.”  He admits as he waves his hand, dispelling the image.  Now he leads me outside to the Chantry’s entrance. “I feared you were never going to wake up.  How could you? A mere mortal dragged from another world to walk physically through the Fade. I was frustrated, frightened.  The spirits I might have consulted had been driven away by the Breach. Although I wished to help, I had no faith in Cassandra, nor she in I.  I was ready to flee.” _Run and hide with your tail between your legs, you mean.  You can’t just run away from your mistakes and pretend you can fix them.  You need to learn to accept them and learn from them; move on._

“The world’s a pretty big place, Dad.  Where could you have even hid?”

“Someplace far away where I might research a way to seal the Breach before its effects consumed me.”   _You mean run away until your strength came back and finish tearing down the Veil…_  Now he gives a small shrug of admission.  “I never said it was a good plan.”

 

Now Solas steps forward, away from me, and mimics the gesture I use to seal rifts.

“I told myself:  One more attempt to seal the rifts.”  His hand lowers as he gazes at the Breech in the sky.  “I tried and failed. No ordinary magic would affect them.  I watched the rifts expand and grow, resigned myself to flee, and then,”  Suddenly, there’s a brief flash of an image of Solas forcing my hand up to the first rift.  “It seems you hold the key to our salvation.” He re-quotes himself.

“You had sealed it with a gesture.  And right then, I felt the whole world change.”   _Ah, that’s the line where a female elf Inquisitor can flirt with him and smooch him.  I never smooched him. It always felt kinda weird for me. But maybe that’s because these guys calling me their friend feels a whole lot more special to me than them saying ‘I love you’._

“So the scared little kid one second away from crying impressed you?”

“You had walked in the Fade!”   _He sounds like an excited little puppy!  It’s so cute! My dad is so cute!_  “I have explored the Fade more than anyone alive.”   _Careful, you’re slipping again._

“But even I can only visit in dreams.  Being able to visit me here and be fully aware, even as a mage, should not be so easy for you.”

“We’re in the Fade, aren’t we?”  Solas chuckles to himself, pleased I finally came around.

“Where did you think we were?”  I shrug and turn around in a circle, glancing at everything.

“I mean, Haven is burnt down and destroyed.  How else can we be here?”

“That’s a matter of debate.  Probably best discussed after you…”  He pauses for dramatic inflection. “-Wake up.”

 

But I don’t jolt awake after he says this.  It’s not like in the game now. Solas glances at me, waiting for me to leave, but I don’t.  What was a smug smile deflates into confusion.

“Still here, Pops.”  He laughs at himself as he shakes his head.

“You continue to be full of surprises, da’len.”  I give him a huge grin.

“That’s my job!”  Solas just smiles at my antics.   _Now I know for a fact this is where smooching would happen.  But kissing is gross. I have a better idea!_  Instead, I bolt up to Solas and wrap my arms around him in a tight hug.  “I love you, Dad.”

 

* * *

 

Solas finds himself stiffen at the gesture from the Inquisitor.  The Dread Wolf can almost feel his heart break into a million pieces.  She can’t love him after what he’s done. Not after he ruined the world and her life.  It was his fault that machine even went off. He’d heard about it, sure, but had brushed it off as unimportant.  But Mythal was murdered shortly after and then he tore the world apart. He destroyed the Elven people. He destroyed any means she might have had of getting to her home.  And now they were both trapped in a world they didn’t call home. He feels guilty. So, so guilty it’s eating him alive. And this gesture was the nail in his coffin.

He had wanted to maintain a respectable distance in their relationship.  She bore his mark and may die because of it. It already hurt that he’d done this so someone so young, but now that she’s taken a liking to him, it just hurts more.   _Perhaps the Nightmare was right all along and she’d despise him when she learns the truth._ _Why does she like him?  She considers him her father, but why?  Why does he deserve that?_  Yet Solas feels his arms betray him as he returns the gesture of affection.

“Thank you, ma da’len.”  He whispers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm also working on a spin-off adventure I came up with that's a little too long for a couple chapters. In the process of starting to write it. It involves the Fade and other video game shenanigans. If you have any ideas for different video game series you'd like to see Catherine and crew run around in, send me an ask!
> 
> https://pyroraptorwrites.tumblr.com/


	49. Pictures

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not a chapter update, I just figured out how to add pictures and I don't know where to stick them so I'm just going to fill a page with screenshots I took when I got bored and made Catherine in DAI. I couldn't find a complexion that had a lot of moles for the Inquisitor, so she's freckly in the pictures instead. Also used a hair mod for the bob and her starting clothes as well. Wouldn't make much sense story-wise for Cat to randomly end up in Thedas in full armor, so the outfit serves as a stand-in for modern clothes. I'll give the names of the mods down below. Might bite the bullet and replay DAI with Cath for more pics. We'll see!
> 
> Complexion: Dwarven Kisses by Sidoumo on Nexus.  
> Hair: Short wavy bob by colorbled on Nexus  
> Starting armor: Auri's Skyhold PJs, Noble Rogue, HF, by AurianaValoria1

                                       

 

                                  

 

 

                             

 

 

               

 


	50. Revered

After receiving a summons, I climb the stairs to Leliana’s rookery.  She stares at the report about Adamant, looking sullen and perplexed.  She slightly raises her head as I approach the table, but immediately turns to stare again at the page.

“Inquisitor, I am… I have been thinking.”  She mutters over her words as she raises her eyes to meet mine.  “You remember everything now, yes? How you were sent here, the explosion at Haven, the Fade, escaping the Breach.”  I only nod as I bounce on my heels. I can’t think of anything to say.  _ She sounds sad. _  Now Leliana taps the page a couple times with her right pointer finger.

“In your report, you said Justinia was with you.  But in the end, only you emerged… Why?” Her question hangs in the air as she shakes her head in disbelief.  “Why were you the only survivor?” I bite my lip as I start to speak.

“When I was sent into the Fade with her, I was hysterical, freaking out.  She’s the one who guided me to the rift and away from the demons. When they were swarming us, she... pushed me through despite anything I said.”  Leliana grows quiet as she takes in my words, just staring at me.

“Of course…”  She finally says.  “Of course she did.  That’s just like her.”  Without a sound, the Nightingale rises and walks to the window, staring out into the mountains.

“Her words to you…”  She breathes a slight laugh.  “‘I’ve failed you too.’” Now her hands crossed behind her back as she again ducks her head.

“I’m not sure I understand what that means.”  She slightly inclines her head in my direction.  “Did she say anything else? Anything at all? Please, if you remember…”   _ The choking sadness in her voice makes my heart just break.  This is my friend. She used to be so happy and positive. Now she’s just… a shadow. _

“I’m sorry, Leliana.  That’s all.” The Orlesian Bard gives a frustrated sigh.

“There are no answers in the Fade.  Only illusions; a warped mirror.” She bitterly gripes as she strides slowly to her shrine.  “Justinia has never failed me. I was her Left Hand. If anything… I failed her.” Now she doesn’t turn to me, gazing at Andraste’s likeness for some time.  I’m unsure if I should leave or stay when she suddenly turns around.

 

“This… elven machine Justinia spoke of to you.  Did she tell you anything about it? Its location?  It’s purpose?” I shrug.

“It just seemed to be a portal in some temple.  I think I remember overhearing it was to send armies into my world so they could take it over.  But I guess the test run was the opposite. I still don’t know why it was me…” She pauses as her eyes narrow slightly.

“I see.  I was hoping this would shed more light on what we found in the Temple of Dumat, but it only procures more questions.”  Now she walks back to the desk, her armor making the wood creak under her boots. “All we have learned is Ceaser is training the Venatori to work as a Roman Legion- similar to rumors of how the Ancient Tevinter armies fought.  I do not know if we would be able to fight such a force. Our soldiers are untrained for that. And if he has anything like what your people have-” I raise up a hand to quiet her worrying.

“If anything, you’re on a much leveler playing field with him.  He has nothing on my technology. He’s hundreds of years in my past.  We’ll defeat him. I know we can.” She reluctantly nods.

“I see.  That is all I needed, Inquisitor.”  I give Leliana a respectful nod.  _ Is there anything I can do for her to help her feel better?  Maybe find out where I can get the flower her mom smelled like?  Some shoes? Nugs? Do I ask Cole for help? _  But as I’m lost in thoughts, my foot on the first step, she stops me.

“Actually, may I ask you something?  About your faith?” I backtrack and turn around to look at her.  “It has been said you’re agnostic, yet you grew up in a religion similar to the Chantry.  I was wondering, your Chantry, your Maker, what is it like?”

 

I frown to myself as I muddle through my limited history of the Catholic Church.  _  Sure, I know some stuff from history classes, but I never put much stock into it.  I mean, yeah, it’s history, but not really my cup of tea. Just learn it for the test and forget.  Heck, I don’t even know much about my own division of Christianity, come to think of it. _

“Well, mine is a branch off of the Catholic Church, what you call the Chantry.  Some of the major differences is we don’t really have priests. Mostly just a pastor or minister in my case, and maybe some other people who have been ordained.  But the whole point of what I was raised in is it’s up to the individual's interpretation. Our Holy Book can be taken literally or not, but critical thinking is encouraged; at least at my church.  The person’s relationship to the Maker- I just call them God, is up to the person. Praying, admitting sins, just talking is done from the person directly, not through a priest.” The redhead nods along, a flicker of interest in her eyes.

“Are they a cruel God, does he demand everything from the faithful?”  Again, I can only shrug.

“In the beginning of the Bible, God was more of a strict jerk, but after the New Testament with Jesus, their a whole lot nicer and calmer.  So I like that interpretation better, myself.” Leliana’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion and her head slightly tilted.

“Who is this ‘Jesus’?”

“Depends on who you ask.  Probably, Jesus was a historical figure.  To some religions, he was simply a preacher.  Some think him a prophet of God. And others think him the son of God.  Kind of like Andrastre in a way, but he was peaceful and went around teaching about mercy, and forgiveness, and God’s love for all his creations.  That all people are equal and should be treated with kindness. Like turning the other cheek, or forgiving the prodigal son because he came home.”

 

For a moment, Leliana seems stunned into silence.  After a slow nod of the head, she turns back to her shrine.

“Mercy and forgiveness… The Maker’s love for all his children.”

* * *

 

As I walk into the main hall to walk around, I spot Varric writing something, grumbling to himself.   _ Wait… this reminds me.  I never told him that Cass likes his work.  I wonder if they’ve made up yet? It’s been a few weeks at least.  Shoot, Alistair is leaving tomorrow and it feels like he’s been here a few days.  Well- he did sort of leave and play hookey. Maybe I can wiggle the book into the conversation somehow? _  Acting bold, I slide into the seat across from Varric.

“Hey, Varric.  Wassup? How’re you doing?”  He smiles a bit to himself before putting down the quill.

“Just… trying to get my thoughts in order.”

“Writer’s block?”  I hear a quiet laugh.

“Something like that.”  He pauses for a while, glancing at the fire beside us.   _ What’s a matter?  Is he okay? _  “I knew Stroud, you know, not well.”  The dwarf finally begins speaking.

“Showed up in Kirkwall during the Qunari attack.  Not many people knew who he was, but the man was a hero when it mattered.  He wasn’t the first good man to fall to Corypheus.” He sighs and leans back in the chair.  “This story’s no good for heroes.” He both sit in silence for a moment.

“At least Lachdanan’s okay, right?”  This brings more light to his face.

“Yeah, the closest thing I’ve seen to a miracle right there.  He asked me to tell the Crew in Kirkwall where he’s headed.  Fenris needs to know. Just glad I won’t be delivering any bad news.”  I nod along.  _ Fenris would be downright pissed if I let Hawke be a hero like that. _  “Anyway, got a minute if you need anything, Dots.” 

“Have you and Cass done anything to make up after your spat?”  Now he grimicies and looks away.

“I mean, we haven’t said anything formally.  We’re not glaring at each other anymore. But not really speaking, you know?  Why?” Now I clap and smile to myself.

 

“Guess what?”  He gives a small chuckle.

“You’ve been elf-blooded this whole time and Solas really is your long lost father?”  I can’t help but laugh a little.

“Interesting, but not quite.  Did you know our favorite Seeker is waiting for the next chapter in ‘Swords and Shields’?”  If Varric could do a spit take right now, he would.

“I must have heard that wrong.”  He says, jokingly attempting to clean out an ear.  “It sounded like you said Cassandra reads my books?”  I nod triumphantly.

“Yes, she does.  She’s caught up. Loves them.”  Now he looks a mixture of disbelief and pleasantly surprised.

“Are we talking about the same Cassandra?  Tall, grumpy Seeker? Like stabbing things?”  Before I can answer him, he cuts me off. “Wait, the romance serial?”  Now he slumps his head on his hand. “She’ll be waiting awhile now. I haven’t finished it and wasn’t planning to.”  He shakes his head at the memory, like he tasted something sour.

“Easily the worst thing I’ve ever written.  The last issue barely covered the ink to write it.”  I smirk and lean back, crossing my right leg over my left.

“Well, you’ve got a Seeker on your hands who  **really** wants that cliffhanger resolved.”

“And I thought a hole in the sky or people falling from alternate dimensions was weird enough.”  Now he bends down and starts fishing for something. After a bit of grumbling, he pulls out a stack of loosely bound papers.

 

“I admit, I have the unpublished draft I kept around.  And you want me to finish the worst serial… for Cassandra?”  I nod along as he smiles and shakes his head in disbelief.

“Dude, she’ll love you forever and forgive you for lying.  What could go wrong?”

“It’s such a terrible idea, I have to do it.  But-” He raises a finger. “Only if I get to be there when you give it to her.”  Now he places the stack in front of him. 

“Just give me an hour so I can see anything else to edit and it’ll be ready.”  I give him a double thumbs up.

“Sounds like a plan!”

* * *

 

I find the Seeker above the armory, frowning at a blank piece of paper.  I gesture for Varric to stay back.

“I’ll talk to her.”  I whisper. “I’ll bring you in when I can.  I’ll signal for you.” He gives me a thumbs up and I ascend the stairs.

 Cassandra has a giant stack of papers on the desk, an ink pot, and a quill in hand.  She’s trying to write, but isn’t making progress There are other sheets around her, each with hastily written things or scratched out bits of ink.

“What’cha doing, Cass?”  She glances up a little at my approche, then glowers at the paper.

“Writing does not come naturally to me, as I’m certain you can imagine.”  I try to glance at some of the other things she’s written, but I can’t make it out.

“You having some trouble?”  Her hands go to the sides of her head as she groans.

“I am, but, this needs to be done before I forget.”  She harshly makes a line across what she’s already written and takes a new page from a stack.  “As if written by a dim-witted child…” After a few moments of her trying to think of words, she grumpily places the quill down and looks up at me.

“Historians will one day ask what happened as Adamant Fortress, in the Fade, how you came here.  I was there and my account must be recorded.” I happily nod along at her idea.

“First person resources are a great help to later historians.”

“I, too, thought so…”  She pauses and glares at the papers.  “Until I started writing.” Now as she thinks, she moves to stand from the chair, almost in a trance.  She walks over to the railing and leans against it. 

“I don’t know what to say about the Spirit of the Divine.  The Chantry says the souls of the dead pass through the Fade… so it  **may** have been her.  Yet she appeared in a different form to you and had knowledge that Justinia would not have known about.”  I stay away from the railing but stand as close as I can.  _  I hate looking over ledges.  Makes my head spin and my legs weak. _

“Maybe it was a spirit that admired her enough to pass on her wishes and help us?”  Cassandra slowly nods in response.

“I hope that’s true.  I want to believe it. When we went physically in the Fade, I was terrified for us.  The last time such a thing happened, Darkspawn were created. Corypheus. The world must know the truth.”  The Seeker looks determined for a moment, then sighs and slumps back in the chair, drumming her fingers on the table.  I blink and take in the image of a grumpy Cassandra. 

 

“Something bugging you?”  She blinks and looks up.

“Well… it is another matter entirely.  The demon you spoke about before Haven?  The one impersonating the Lord Seeker? After Haven, we had some soldiers investigate Therinfal for clues, but we found only scapes abandoned by the Templars.  We never found the real Seeker- or his body. And I haven not seen any hint of the Seekers in the ranks of the Red Templars. Or anywhere. I am concerned if Corypheus has imprisoned them…”  She frowns deeper this time, brushing a strand of hair aside. “I have only found hints. They cannot be dead… not easily. And Seekers do not use Lyrium like the Templars.”  _ Is she talking to me or out loud to herself? _

“If it’s that important to you, we should look into it.”  I can see surprise bloom on her face.

“Truly?  I cannot even say if it would be beneficial.  They would not take kindly to the Inquisition.  But if there is a chance… I would appreciate it, Catherine.”  Just as she goes back to writing, I see this would be a good point to bring Varric up.

“Speaking of that…”  I quickly dart to the stairs and wave him up.  He holds the papers to his chest, looking a little hesitant at approaching Cass but trying to hide it.  The Seeker glances between us.

“What have you done now?”  She asks Varric. He gives a charming smile.

“I get it, Seeker, you’re still sore after out spat.”  Now she stands and crosses her arms.

“I’m not a child, Varric.  Do not suggest I’m without reason.”  After a moment, the author places the stack on the table, the title facing Cassandra.  

 

As soon as she glances down, her eyes go wide.  She can barely contain herself. Oh, she’s trying, but I can see it in her eyes.  Her eyebrows are almost halfway to her hairline.

“A peace offering: the next chapter of ‘Swords and Shields’.  A little birdy told me you’re a fan.” Cassandra’s face jolts up, a more pursed look on her face as she fixes it on me.

“This is your doing.”  She accuses. I give her a big cheesy grin and open my arms palms up.

“Happy birthday?”  She still gives me a look.

“It’s not my birthday, Inquisitor.”  
“Merry Christmas?”  Now both of them look at me strangely.  “Happy Easter? Eid? Thanksgiving? Hanukkah?”  I pout. _This isn’t working.  I give up._

“Yeah, I told him.”  Meanwhile, Varric places a few fingers on the manuscript and slowly begins to drag it back to him.

“Well, if you’re not interested, you’re not interested.  Still needs editing, anyhow.” He mentions slyly as he gives me a wink.  Like a cat chasing a toy, Cassandra's hand slaps down on the paper.

“Wait!”  She can’t hold it back.  Varric just smiles to himself.  He’s got her hook, line, and cliffhanger.

“You’re probably wondering what happens to the Knight-Captain after the last chapter.”  He asks like he knows the answer. The Seeker’s excitement is now clear as day. I pull my phone out of my back pocket and turn on the camera.  Cassandra goes on, her excitement clear as day.

“Nothing should happen to her.  She was falsely accused!”

“Well, it turns out the guardsman-”  The Seeker snags the manuscript off the table and into her hands.

“Don’t  _ tell  _ me!”  She gripes.  I shake my head at Varric.

“God, Varric!  Spoilers!” I admonish him as I take just one picture of Cassandra holding it in her hot, little hands.   _ She looks like a kid at Christmas. _  As she giddily admires the manuscript, Varric clears his throat and inclines his head to me.

“This is the part where you thank, Dots.”  Now he looks away from everyone else. “I, uh, normally don’t give sneak peaks.”  She looks between us both again, the joy and smile on her face so wide. _  Crap, it’s so adorable!  This is why I romanced her.  That’s my wife! _

“I… Thank you, Catherine.”  Now she gleefully starts to thumb through the pages.  “I wonder if I have time to read the first part…” I grin at her and then to Varric.

“Would you say this has been a success?”  He nods back.

“Completely worth it.”  He admits as he turns to descend the stairs.  “Don’t forget to tell your friends… If you have any.”  He wryly adds.

“Varric!”  I admonish again, but he’s already on the first floor and out the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I swear the next stuff won't be filler. Just. Need. To. Motivate. Self. To. Write. Action. Bits! 
> 
> And yet jokes just keep on popping up in my head.
> 
>  
> 
> More chapters to come! Stay tuned and don't forget to comment!
> 
> https://pyroraptorwrites.tumblr.com/


	51. Experience Tranquility

Cassandra, Varric, Blackwall, and I all look up at the castle surrounded by a thick forest of trees.  The Seeker looks puzzled as she stares and examines the building. She seems familiar with it.

“Caer Oswin.”  She finally speaks aloud.   _ What’s a ‘Caer’? _  “Odd… That the trail should lead us here.”  We all start following her as she hikes up the trail towards the back door.

“Bann Loren is a pious, unassuming man.  What has he become involved in?” I shrug in response.

“Maaaybe he’s a victim in all this?  Someone forced him to cooperate?” The Warden beside me nods in agreement.

“Could very well be.  A hopeful thought.” Cassandra, undeterred, strides up to the door and pushes.

“Let us see what lies within.”

 

As soon as we enter the dungeon area, there’s a few- at least five or seven- heavily armored soldiers standing guard.  As soon as they notice our little band, they whip out their blades. My group does so as well, Cassandra and Blackwall charging forward to engage them.  Varric stands back and starts firing his crossbow at whoever the dwarf has a clean shot at. I falter at what to do. My sword-fighting knowledge is limited at best and these guys are clearly well-trained.  Their armor is thick and I don’t think wacking at them blindly will do anything good. I can’t change into a character with a gun or bow since it’s so chaotic I don’t have a good shot.  _ I’m not that good at aiming anyway…  If only there was something I could do.  Some way to help! If we had console commands in real life I’d be done in a second.  Shoot what do I- _

 

_ Wait.  I don’t have to shoot bullets to help.  These guys are so heavily armored if they fall they won’t have an easy time getting up.  More so if they break their legs or get hit on the head.  _ Quickly, I morph into Chell from Portal, holding the dual Portal gun.  There’s a couple soldiers I can aim at from here that no one’s dealing with.  I fire a blue portal at the floor. The men each look down in confusion. Before they have a chance to move, I shoot an orange portal above them and the two of them drop.  They start whooshing as they fall and fall, increasing in speed and yelling in confusion and fear.  _ Okay, I have two options.  Either I get the timing right and make them launch out the wall and fire into their buddies.   Or if I get it wrong they just crash on the floor and crumple. So no matter what, it’ll work out, I guess. _

“Cass, Blackwall, get back!”  I yell at them in my own voice before clearing my head and shooting an orange portal on the wall to my left.  In a second, the two soldiers who were falling rocket out and bang into the rest of the group like their bowling pins.  Both warriors on my side look around in confusion. Varric, meanwhile, takes the opportunity to shoot the rest of them. The group is now incapacitated at least, or dead at most.  Both the Seeker and Warden peer at what I have in my arms before I turn back into myself.

“What in the Maker’s name was that?”  Blackwall asks in a perplexed tone. I grin and give an exaggerated shrug.

“I was thinking with Portals.”  I now turn to Cassandra with a more serious expression.  “So who’s these guys?”

 

As she examines their armor, she frowns and shakes her head.

“Promisers.  I should have known.”  As she bends for a key, she begins to explain more to the group.  “The Order of Fiery Promise is a cult with… strange beliefs about the Seekers.  They’ve hounded us for centuries. They believe they are the only rightful Seekers.  That we stole their powers long ago and prevented them from ending the world.” I hear Varric give a short laugh as he swings Bianca onto his back.

“It’s always something with you people…”  I twist my face in confusion as Cass starts to lead us down the hall.

“Why do they want to end the world?”

“They think the only way to eradicate evil is to destroy us.  ‘The world will be reborn as a paradise.’”  _ But if they blow up the world and die there won’t be anything left. _  “This explains why the Seekers might be here, but not the connection to Corypheus.”  But then she suddenly stops and glances at a corpse on the floor. Out of the corner of my eye, Varric notices too.  After glancing at me, he places a gloved hand in front of my eyes so I don’t see the corpse.  _ I am okay with this. _  Cassandra sounds shaken as she speaks.

“It’s a Seeker.  Did they… torture him to death?  The Promisers will pay for this!”  I hear her start to stomp off to the right.  Varric guides me around the body and lowers his hand.

“Thanks, dude.”

 

As we all enter the courtyard, Cassandra finds a note next to another corpse.  At this rate, she’s almost leagues ahead of the rest of us. Thankfully because it’s quiet, I can still hear her loud and clear.

“‘As the Seekers of Truth have proven resistant to the effects of Red Lyrium, the Elder One has seen fit to place them in your care.’”  She begins to stop and read aloud from the tattered and bloody paper. “‘Reclaim your destiny and know the Elder One expects devotion as repayment.’”  Now she turns around confusion, along with frustration, written clearly on her features.

“Does Corypheus not realize the Promisers want to end the world?  What use are they to him?”

“Probably to use them to get rid of a group he can’t control.  When the Seekers are gone, Corphy’ll just kill the Promisers when they’re not useful anymore.”  She shakes her head in disgust.

“And they leapt at the chance…  But this doesn’t explain how he captures the Seekers in the first place or what he’s done to them.  We have to keep looking!” As I turn to the others, the two men are nodding along. I give Cass a thumbs up.

“Lead the way.”

* * *

 

“Daniel?  Daniel!” After walking through more of the fort, Cassandra recognizes a man slumped against the wall.  She quickly runs to his side and bends down to look at him. Weakly, he coughs and lulls his head in her direction.

“Cassandra?”  I slowly walk over and crouch beside Cass.  Daniel isn’t dead… but he sure does look like it.   He has dark, red circles around his eyes. His lips are pale and chapped.  There are dark lines all around his face. “It is you. You’re alive.” I see her give his shoulder a squeeze in reply.

“As are you.  I’m so glad we found you.”

“No!”  He protests despite being unable to shake his head.  “They… put a demon inside me. It’s tearing me up.” Cassandra momentarily backs off, shaken and disturbed.

“What?”  She shakes her head.  “You can’t be possessed!  That’s impossible!”

“I’m not possessed.  They… fed me things.  I can feel it growing.”   _ Fed him things?  That sounds familiar.  Too familiar. _

**First day, they come and catch everyone.** **  
****Second day, they beat us and eat some for meat.** **  
****Third day, the men are all gnawed on again.** **  
****Fourth day, we wait and fear for our fate.** **  
****Fifth day, they return and it's another girl's turn.** **  
****Sixth day, her screams we hear in our dreams.** **  
****Seventh day, she grew as in her mouth they spew.** **  
****Eighth day, we hated as she is violated.** **  
****Ninth day, she grins and devours her kin.** **  
****Now she does feast, as she's become the beast.** **  
****Now you lay and wait, for their screams will haunt you in your dreams.**

 

“Broodmother....”  Is all I can whisper, but no one comments on it.

“The Lord Seeker… You have to find him.”  Daniel all but begs Cassandra. “Lucius betrayed us, Cassandra.”   **I am dying of something worse than death, dream friend.  Betrayal.**

“He sent us here.  One by one. ‘An important mission.’  He said. The sick man’s face contorted with anger.  “Lies. He was here with them all along. He’s still working with them.”  Cassandra’s face grows solemn.

“Then we must find him.”  She starts to rise, but Daniel’s hand on her wrist stops her.

“Don’t leave me like this…”  He begs her. “Please.” Cassandra gives him a long, sad look.  I know what she’s going through. She looks pained but tries to hide in her voice when she speaks.

“Go to the Maker’s side, Daniel.  You will be welcome.”

I close my eyes as she ends his pain.

 

* * *

 

When we arrive at the peak, the sun is beginning to lower in the distance.  The air blows louder up here. There are a few ruins around the edges of this giant circle, but we're not here to look around.  The four of us spot the Lord Seeker with a small number of those cultists at his side. Before he has a chance to speak, Cassandra angrily points at him.

“Lucius!” She almost sneers at him.  He steps forward after glancing at us all.

“Cassandra…” Lucius says in an almost amicable greeting.  “With the one I can only assume is the new Inquisitor.” My lips purse as he addresses me.   _ He looks the same as in Val Royeaux.  That Envy Demon did not do him any favors. _

“You're about as ugly as the last time I met you.” The older man makes no comment on my glibness.

“You must know that we Seekers of Truth were once the original Inquisition.”   _ Sorry, don’t know, don’t care. _  And yet the Lord Seeker keeps monologuing.  “We once fought to restore order in a time long ago.  We became proud and sought to remake the world- to make it better.”  Now he starts pacing, his armor clinking as he walks.

“And what did we create? The Chantry.  The Circle of Magi. A war that will see no end.” As he pauses, I lean to Cassandra and stage whisper.

“I think your former boss is crazy.” Her boss only looks at me with a raised eyebrow.

“Of course you would say that.  I have heard much of your tongue, girl.”

“Thank you.  I try.” Behind me, Varric hides his laugh with a cough.  Meanwhile, Cassandra only stares at him in anger and bewilderment.

 

“So you joined Corypheus because you hate our Order?”  She asks.

“We Seekers are abominations, Cassandra.  We created a decaying world and continued to observe it even as it crumbled.  We have to be stopped.” At her silence, he pulls a book from somewhere and tosses it to her.  “You don't believe me? See for yourself.” Cassandra only frowns between the book and the man.  

“Lord Seeker, what you've done…”

“I know,” He replies looking solemn and ill.  “What Corypheus did to the Templars does not matter.  I have seen the future!”  _ Wait, him too?  No wait, he’s just crazy, nevermind. _

“I have created a new Order.  We shall end the world to start anew.”  Cassandra only glares at him. “Join us, Cassandra.  It is the Maker’s will.” Instead, she yanks out her blade and strides to him, pointing it at his neck.

 

“You don't know the Maker.”  She growls as she divorces his head from his neck before I can blink.  My hands automatically cover my eyes as I stand there listening. I hear Blackwall charge forward and some steel clanging and unknown men gurgling.  I hear the sound of Varric’s crossbow shoot from a little bit ahead of me. And in maybe twenty seconds, the group of four men and the Lord Seeker are dead.  While Cassandra looks down sadly at the man she knew, and the other two put their weapons away, I turn around and stare at a stone wall.

“He was insane.  He had to be.” I barely hear Cassandra above the wind.  “He cannot have destroyed all of us, I refuse to accept it.” Then I hear her armor grow closer and feel a metal hand on my shoulder.

“Thank you for coming, Inquisitor.  I suppose now we head for the Red Lyrium thaig.  We shall return to Skyhold afterward. I would like to see what's in this Book of Secrets…”

* * *

 

 

After a few days of traveling through Ferelden, we've now camped in the Hinterlands again.  The plan is to head for the Thaig in the morning and meet Bianca there.  _ I’m not sure about all this.  Bianca makes me feel… uneasy. And I’m not sure what Varric’s real relationship with her is.  I just hope she’s not stringing him along. If she is, I’m gonna pop her! _  But now I’m awake and outside.   _ Mostly because my natural sleep pattern is different after sleeping on the ground.  And the sunlight. It’s bright. And I want to sleep. _  With the sound of the wind in the trees and the birds, it almost tricks my mind into thinking I’m back at my family’s cabin.  But when I see the soldiers and officers and Cassandra sitting on a log, I know I’m not. That spirit said I can’t go home. I guess I have to start getting used to that.

“Mornin’ Cass.”  I yawn and blink my eyes as I sit on the ground, using her log as a backrest.  “How’re you doin’?” I’m so tired I’m slightly slurring my words. I see Cassandra have a glimmer of a smile before looking back at the book in her lap.

“This tome has passed from Lord Seeker to Lord Seeker, since the time of the Old Inquisition.  And now it falls to me.” The rest of the silence and nature around us gives a new weight and seriousness to her words.

“Doesn’t look like fun reading.”  I glance at the book only to see I can’t read the title at all.  It’s written in some version of that Archaic Chantry Orleans.  _ Figures.  But I don’t think I’d want to snoop anyway.  It’s Cass’ business, not mine. _  The Seeker beside me gives a humerus snort.

“On the contrary, it’s a delight.  I’m riveted.” I smirk at her joke and turn to smile at her, but her face quickly turns serious again and the smile drains from my face as well.  “Do you know what the Rite of Tranquillity is, Catherine?” She asks after a few long, silent, moments. I shake my head slightly.

“Sorta, kinda?”  She gives a nod and places the book on the ground to her left.

“It is the last resort used on mages in the Circle.  It leaves them unable to cast but deprives them of dreams and all emotion.  It should only be used as a last resort, and only on those who cannot control their abilities or voluntarily agree to undergo the rite.  Yet, this has not always been the case.” I nod along slowly.

“I remember in Kirkwall there was a templar forcing Mages who’d gone through their Harrowing to be Tranquil and kept abusing it and them.”

“As a Seeker, I looked into abuses.  Mages made Tranquil as punishment. The tipping point for the Mage Rebellion was a discovery the Rite of Tranquility could be reversed.”

 

_ Oh yeah.  I didn’t read the Cole book.  I don’t really know much about the rebellion.  The game kind of treats it like I read all the books and should know what’s going on. _

“Dang…”  I mumble in between her sentences.

“The Lord Seeker at the time covered it up- harshly.  There were deaths.”  _ I think Cole did that.  I suppose I could ask him about it. _  “It was dangerous knowledge.  The shock of its discovery in addition to what happened in Kirkwall…  Yet it appears we’ve  **always** known how to reverse the Rite.  From the beginning.” Even though I knew about this, it still feels shocking.

“Holy crap.”  Her head ducks down as she thinks, her hands tap on her metal greaves.

“We… created the Rite of Tranquility.  To become a Seeker, I spent months in a vigil, emptying myself of all emotion.  I was made Tranquil and did not even know. Then the vigil summoned a Spirit of Faith to touch my mind.  The broke Tranquility- and gave me my abilities. The Seekers did not share that secret. Not with me, not with the Chantry, not with…”  She stops and stands, walking forward as she gazes at the sunrise. “There’s more. Lucius was not wrong about the Order. I had thought to rebuild the Seekers when we are victorious.  Yet now I am not so certain they should be rebuilt.” 

 

I push myself up and walk to stand beside her.

“Was there anything else in the tome?”  Cassandra briefly frowns to herself.

“At some point, power becomes its own master.  We cast aside ideals in favor of expediency and tell ourselves it was necessary for the people.”  Now she frowns again and looks at me. She seems very worried, shaken, and unsure of herself. “Will that happen to us, Catherine?  Will we repeat history?” I think for a minute to myself.

“‘Those who don’t know history are doomed to repeat it’.  If we keep that in mind and take precautions to avoid getting corrupted, we should be okay.”  She nods in agreement with me. “If you rebuild the Seekers, how would you do that?”

“I cannot be the only one remaining.  We were always scattered to the winds.  I would find them and we would all read this book.  No more secrets. And I would have us establish a new charter.  The Maker’s work- in truth.”

 

I huddle the blanket around my shoulders.

“What do you consider ‘the Maker’s work’?”

“There is no way to know for certain.  That is why we must seek it out.” Gently and shyly, I give her a brief hug.  Her armor is cold and shaped a little funny.

“I think if anyone can rebuild them, it’s you.  You can rebuild them and make them better.” Her face takes on a grateful look.  Her eyes still seem shaken, but her smile is a start.  _ I hope she feels better. _

“Thank you, Catherine.  I could not have done this on my own.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for your patience! Took awhile to write this chapter. Been busy with job searches. So many job searches. Varric's quest is up next!


	52. Into a Burnin' Ring of Fire

“Finally!”  Bianca calls out as she jobs over to Varric, Blackwall, and I.  “I started to think you weren’t coming.” Varric gives her a look that’s a smile mixed with confusion.

“Nobody said you had to hang out in the creepy cave while you waited.”  As she walks forward in the light, her hood darkens her face with shadows.

“Well, I did, so let’s make this quick.  These idiots are carrying the lyrium out in unprotected containers!”   _ Wait, why does it have to be protected again? _  “We don’t want to stick around for it to start ‘singing’ to us.”   _ Oh yeah!  Bartrand and Meredith went crazy because of the proximity to it!  Duh! In fairness, it’s been awhile since I played DA2. _  Now I clear my throat to ask a question.

“So how’d you find this operation, anyway?  The Deep Roads are like a maze. And you found the same Thaig Varric talked about?”  I see her move to cross her arms but Bianca thinks better of it. Her eyes narrow at me in annoyance at my questioning her, ever so slightly.

“I’ve used this entrance in the past.”  She replies. “Varric’s not the only surface dwarf to explore the Deep Roads.”  With that, Varric takes crossbow in hand and takes a step beyond us.

“We might want to get this show on the road now.”

 

The walkway is surrounded by giant statues of dwarves and roaring waterfalls.  I blink up and gape at it all.  _  This is so… tall.  In the game, it just blurred into nothing at the top.  In real life, I can’t even see the ceiling. This almost reminds me of Mammoth Caves, but I was too young when I went to remember much.  I don’t know why the dwarves build everything so enormous. I feel so insignificant. Maybe to use the cave ceiling as a stabilizer?  _  It’s still strangely quiet as our footsteps echo on the tile.

“So is this what you do now?”  Bianca asks her sort-of/maybe/ex/it’s complicated boyfriend out of the blue.  Varric tilts his head.

“Huh?”

“Skulking around in caves.  Shooting guys. This your day-to-day.”  He shrugs and frowns as we turn to go down a ledge overlooking the gap.   There’s plenty of rooms to our left.

“I usually try to avoid the caves.”  Pulled by curiosity, I stop at a door and push at it.  It doesn’t budge. I jiggle the handle. Nothing. I do it again, forcefully.  But that doesn't work. Bianca looks on in amusement before turning back to Varric.

“So what is the Inquisitor?  A surfacer? Cast off from a merchant cast?  Never heard of a ‘Hawking’ in the Guild before…”  I try to ignore her and slam the door with my shoulder, but that just hurts.

“Errm, Dots is a human.”  Bianca sounds like she doesn’t buy it.

“So the height?  The fact her accent sounds like she’s from Orzammar?”

“A coincidence.”  Bianca snorts.

“Some coincidence.”  I turn and frown at Bianca.

“Your face is a coinkydink…”  I mutter as I kick the door, only to grab and hop on my foot.  “YOWCH! Blackwall...” I ask in a whining tone.

“Can you open the door, please?”  The Warden walks to me, lifts his shield and bashes it.  The door rips from the entryway and lands on the ground. It’s some kind of office.

“Thank you!”  I call to him as I wander in and start peaking around.  I see the rest of them looking at me.

“So why’d you want in here, Dots?”  I shrug as I start fishing through the desk.

“Just wanted to see what was so important the door wouldn’t budge.”  Bianca gives me a look and walks past the door.

“If you need me, I’ll be up ahead.”

* * *

 

As soon as Bianca gleefully grabs her key, Varric fixes her with a sour look.  She bends down at a door and begins doing something I can’t see. I hear gears turning and she seems to be using a wrench of some kind.  There’s the sound of a lock sliding into place and a loud boom.

“There!”  She exclaims.  “Won’t be able to use this entrance now.”

“Bianca…”  Varric says in a warning tone.  “Andraste’s ass, you’re the leak?”  She turns around and tries to explain herself, her tone indicating she thought she did nothing wrong.

“When I got the location, I had a look for myself.  And when I found the lyrium… I studied it.”

“Well, that seems stupid.”  I can’t keep my mouth from moving.

“You know what it does to people!”  Varric argues in a tone like anger born of worry.  Bianca just waves him off.

“I was doing you a favor.  I just wanted to figure it out.  And I did. I found out that red lyrium… has the Blight.  Varric, do you know what that means?” He just looks exhausted and annoyed.

“That two deadly things combine into something super-awful?”

“Lyrium is alive!  Or something like it.  The Blight only affects living organisms, like animals.  Not minerals. I couldn’t get any father on my own, so I contacted a Grey Warden Mage.  This guy, Larius, was really interested in helping my research, so I gave him a key.” She trails off, her admission of guilt hanging around us.  Varric just frowns deeper and blinks in shock.

“Larius?”   _ Crap, should I know him? _  “He was that Grey Warden in Corypheus’ prison!  ...Shit. ”  _ Ah, I didn’t play the DLC.  Crap.  _

“Definitely wasn’t a mage before, though.”   _ Huh, that seems a little weird.  But can’t Corphy body hop like the Archdemon?  And that’s why he needs Wardens? _  I turn to address Bianca.

“What you’ve done is royally stupid, but I guess you couldn’t have know where the info went to.”

“Maferath's Balls she couldn’t!”  Varric exclaims, throwing his hands up.  “I told her exactly how bad this shit was!  I told her to keep away from it!” She almost pouts at the accusation and keeps trying to plead with Varric.  While she does seem genuinely sorry, there’s something about her that rubs me the wrong way.

“I know I screwed up, but I can fix it!  It’s as right as I can make it!” Varric steps forward, gesturing with his arms for emphasis.

“This isn’t one of your machines, you can’t just replace a part and make everything right!”

“No, but I can try, can’t I?”  She shoots back at him in annoyance.

“That’s not how it works!”  I interject, but she doesn’t listen.

“Or am I supposed to wallow in my mistakes forever, kicking myself, and telling stories of what I should have done?”  Varric looks stunned and hurt. I feel hurt for him and anger at Bianca.

“As if I would tell stories about my mistakes.”  Varric scoffs in a defiant and hard tone. For a moment, he looks at her, studying her.  As they share a look, his anger softens into concern. “Bianca, you better get home before someone misses you.”   _ He says ‘someone’ like it refers to a certain person.  _   Quickly, the storyteller turns on his heel and begins to walk off, muttering something as he goes.  Blackwall starts to follow and before I turn to go with them, Bianca stalks up to me, glaring in my face.

“You get him killed, and I’ll feed you your own eyeballs, Inquisitor.”  I scowl at her. After what she’s done to Varric, and all she’s put him through, she has little right to say that to me.  I know only a bit of their relationship, but it’s not healthy and she strings him along.

“Bite me, lady.”

 

When we get back to the first walkway, Varric stops short, looking at the gap down below us.

“I’m glad to have answers, but…  Shit.” He grumbles as he kicks a stone in frustration.  “The second she showed up here, I knew. I just…” He trails off.  Blackwall stands to the side awkwardly, glancing back and forth between me and Varric like he doesn’t know what to do.  After debating for half a second, I slowly approach Varric.

“I let this mess happen.”  He continues. “I gave her the Thaig.  I am not good at dealing with shit like this.”  I slightly shrug, unsure of what to say.

“I don’t think anybody is…”  He only huffs to himself as the dwarf keeps half talking to himself and venting to me.

“If Cassandra hadn’t dragged me here, I’d be in Kirkwall right now pretending this wasn’t happening.”

“Hey,”  I protest, sticking out an arm.  “I know you. You’re not that kind of guy, Varric.”  He glances at me with a sad look in his eye.

“Is that true?”  Now he gives a defeated sigh, his shoulders sagging as he does.  “I don’t even know anymore.”

 

* * *

 

After being out of Skyhold for a few weeks, coming back is like a breath of fresh air.  I almost can’t believe this place feels like home now. _  So strange… _  I mutter as I slowly walk around the area with the merchants.  I glance at the kitchen door and debate going in that way, but I shake my head.  _  I’m not that hungry right now.  No use in that. I could wander the gardens, but that’s never been my area.  I could check on Cass again, but that seems moot. I don’t want to navigate the tavern right now.  But I could walk around the battlements? And there’s a door up there that leads to Cole’s haunt. So I could take the long way to clear my head and then talk with him?  Yeah, that sounds nice. _  But as I head for the training ground to get the battlements on that side, I find Cole a lot quicker than I planned.  He follows Solas as the elf descends the main steps of the hall.

“But you like demons!”  Cole protests as he quickly follows, his voice sounding desperate.

“I enjoy the company of spirits, yes,”  Solas explains, sounding tense. “-Which is why I do not abuse them with bindings!”

“It isn’t abuse if I ask!”  Whatever Cole wants, he sounds dire. 

“Not always true.”  Cole’s voice twists my gut as he pleads with the elf, as he hovers around him like a kid unsure of how to ask something.  “Also I do not practice blood magic, rendering this entire conversation academic.” Solas has a slight frown on his face, a disapproving look.  As Cole fidgets with his hands, he spots me, the hat brim making his face dark. The spirit changes course and makes a beeline for me.

“He won’t bind me!”  Cole starts to exclaim in an anxious tone.  “He’s a mage and he likes demons, but he won’t help!”   _ God, Adamant must have really affected him. _  I keep Cole’s gaze as I step closer and place a hand on his shoulder.

 

“Hey, hey, hey, Cole, it’s okay.  Just calm down and tell me what’s wrong.  Why do you need to be bound?”

“So I’m safe!”  He says as he whirls around and walks back to Solas, beginning to pace between us as he fidgets, unsure of what to do with himself.  “If Solas won’t do the ritual to bind me, someone else could. Will. Like the Warden mages, and then… I’m not me anymore.” He voice quivers on the last word, so scared and shaken.  Now he stares ahead with blank eyes, his hands clenching like claws as he starts rambling on.

“Walls around what I want.  Blacking, bleeding, making me a monster!”  I approach him and gently take his hand and squeeze, just like he had for me back before we found Skyhold.  This gesture seems to take him out of his fear and he looks at me. “Sad, so sad. Heart aches. Need to help.  That’s my friend. I’m hurting and you want to help. Like how I help...” Cole’s voice is quiet as he speaks.

“We’ll find some way to help you that’s not blood magic, okay?  A middle ground.”

“Indeed.”  Solas agrees.  “I recall stories of amulets used by Rivani seers, to protect spirits they summoned from rival mages.  A spirit, wearing the Amulet of the Unbound, was immune to blood magic and binding. It should protect Cole as well.”

 

_ Uh oh. _  I think to myself.   _ Now I remember.  This is Cole’s companion quest.  For all the effort, that amulet won’t work… _  As I grimace, both Cole and Solas pick up on it.  As Cole searches my face, he starts talking again.

“You hesitate.  Frowning, begrudging, knowing but unsure.  It doesn’t work. Hopes too high. Then crashing down, like a rock in the dark.  My foot’s stuck in the doorway. One in, one out. Too much of the other. Too human.”  Now Cole looks startled. His eyes go wide and he grips my hand and squeezes like I had earlier.  “It won’t work?” He asks, desperation bubbling into sadness.

“You knew that.  You know why. Why won’t it-”  Cole starts demanding so many things of me. Solas gently pulls him away.

“Cole, calm down, what is-”

 

“What are you doing to the poor kid?”  Varric strides in from I don’t know where.  He glances at the three of us, looking a little tired, but still Varric.  Cole reluctantly stops his questions briefly to answer Varric.

“I want to stop the blood mages from knotting me up.  But it won’t work!” Solas has a slight tilt to the head as he examines Cole and I.

“We haven’t even gotten the amulet.  What makes you so sure of it?” Cole turns back on me again.

“Not a spirit, not a man.  Because I wanted to help him, but I became him. But I’m not him.  But I am? What I need to do… confront it? Why I came here…” Now he switches gears, muttering almost like he’s chanting rather than asking desperate questions.  “Darkness. So dark. Afraid, fear, choking blackness, where am I? Crouched on the stone, the rats bite, it hurts. Don’t let them come back. Don’t let them see me.  Want to disappear. Fading, fading, falling. Drowning in the darkness. Then warm. Like a soft blanket. But it tears. I’m the wrong shape, I’m-” But then Cole’s eyes take on a sharper look.  Something dark and angry I’ve never seen in him. It scares me and I desperately want to stop him, but he’s already on the move.

 

“Him…”  He growls as he starts going for the gates.

“Cole!  Wait!” I call after him.  Solas, Varric, and I rush to catch up.  “Where are you going?!” The spirit boy turns, the grim determination in his face hitting me.  I can see why people could be frightened of him other than he looks… dead. He’s terrifying and I’m terrified for him.

 

“ _ Him.  _  The one who did it.  He’s the reason I came here, why I’m mixed up.  I could untangle the knots, make the spell work, tie up the parts of me others could take and I’m safe.  Please…” He begs with us one final time. “I need you to come with me. To help me.” And then he vanishes in a puff of smoke.  I don’t know if he headed to the stables or to find a cart or if he was able to teleport to Redcliffe. Somehow, I don’t think it’s the latter.  Both Varric and Solas stare in agape before looking at me confused.

“What was that about, Dots?”  They each shake their head.

“We need to find Cole, then head to Redcliffe.  Cole needs our help if we’re going to help him.”  _  I can’t let him do anything that would change him drastically.  I have to help him. He’s my friend. And because of what I knew, Cole read my thoughts.  Now he knows a little too early. _ _ What if I hurt him?  What if it was too much at once? _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm in the middle of reading Asunder and that made me realize I've been avoiding writing Cole recently because I'm unsure I'll portray him correctly. I feel a bit more confident now, so I'm taking on his quest next.


	53. Ghosts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Due to the natures of Cole's and Dorian's personal quests, it gets a bit tense and emotional here.

“Cole?”  I start speed walking through the main hall, unsure of where my friend has gone.  “Cooole?”  _ There’s no answer.  But why would he answer?  He’s overwhelmed. Where would he go?  I feel bad, I did that to him. I need to find him and apologize and help him feel better. _  I’m dragged out of my thoughts as a hand lightly taps my shoulder.  I whirl around in shock only to see familiar Chantry robes.

“Mother Giselle!”  I spurt out, still anxious about how Cole is doing.  “What is it? I’m kind of-” She gives a respectful nod and turns the envelope over in her hands.

“My Lady Inquisitor, I have news regarding one of your… associates.  The Tevinter.”  _ Oh.  Of course.  Of course, this is happening now.  But since both quests are in Redcliffe I could get two birds with one stone and not have to backtrack?  I’ll have to ask Cole how he would feel about Dorian coming. _

“My  **friend’s** name is Dorian, Mother,”  I grumble a little too bitterly.  I see a look of disappointment cross her face, but she pushes it back and sighs.

“I have been in contact with his family: House Pavus, out of Qurainus.  Are you familiar with them?” I give a shrug, wanting to get this over as soon as possible.

“Dorian’s not on good terms with them.  Why?” I ask in suspicion, folding my arms.

“The family sent a letter describing the estrangement from their son and pleading for my aid.”   _ Pfft, seems odd for them to ask someone from the White Chantry when they’re from the Imperial one, but whatever. _  “They’ve asked to arrange a meeting, quietly, without telling him.  They fear it’s the only way he’ll come.” She looks to the side a little, away from my eyes.

“Since you’re on good terms with him, I’d hoped-”

“No.”  I cut her off firmly.  She closes her eyes and sighs deeply, a resigned expression on her face.  Her eyes turn back to me, but don’t meet mine.

“I thought you might say as much.  The family will send a retainer to meet the young man at the Redcliffe tavern to take him onward.  If he does not wish anything further, he can end the matter there.” Now she quietly holds the envelope out to me.  “I pray you change your mind, Inquisitor. Perhaps-” I snag the letter from her hands and march toward the rotunda, my mind made up a long time ago.

 

“Dorian…”  I mumble as I approach the mage resorting shelves.  He turns a friendly smile on his face upon seeing me.

“Something you need, Catherine?”  I grimace and shuffle around on my feet, trying not to chew my cheek.

“I have a letter you need to see.”

“A letter?”  He asks, sounding cheeky.  “Is it a naughty letter? A humorous proposal from an Antivan dowager?”  I steel myself and shake my head.

“It’s… from your…  Your dad.” His face drops and changes to something hardened and hesitant.

“From my father.  I see.” He says. “Show me.”  I hand the envelope out and he opens it, already scanning the page of elegant ink handwriting.  As he reads, Dorian’s face sours and frowns, his eyebrows creasing downward. I stand back and bounce on my heels, awkwardly waiting.

‘“I know my son’?”  He angrily quotes when he’s finished.  “What my father knows of me would barely fill a thimble.  Typical…” I see he’s tempted to ball up the letter and toss it over the railing or light it on fire, but he doesn’t and lets it fall on his chair.

“I’m willing to bet this ‘retainer’ is someone my father hired to knock me on the head and drag me back to Tevinter.”  I fold my arms and mirror his anger.

“Not if I have anything to say about it!”  I see a look of gratefulness cross his face for a split second.  Then Dorian sighs.

“He expects me to travel with Mother Giselle, Maker knows why.  I’ve heard you’re traveling to Redcliffe in the morning?” I nod a little bit.   _ I still need to find Cole. _  “Good.  I’m coming along.  Let’s go meet this ‘family retainer’.”

  
  


I’m flooded with relief as I check in the old library under Skyhold.  I see Cole, crouched in the dust and cobwebs, his head between his knees.  I can see him rocking back and forth a tiny bit. As I enter, my boots create a hollow sound on the old tile.  Cole raises his head at my approach.

“Cole, I’m so glad I found you!  Are you…”  _  No, he’s not alright, I can see that. _  “How are you doing?”  I get closer and sit down beside him, unsure of how to help.  Cole’s stopped rocking, so I hope that’s a good sign.

“Both, but neither.  Not a man. Not a spirit.  A demon? What am I? Thought I knew.  Thought I learned, but I didn’t. Was he right?”  My heart aches to see him in pain like this.

“Cole, I’m so sorry I freaked you out.  I showed you too much…” At this, he quiets and looks at me.

“You didn’t know I would see.  You were just… worried about me. You’re like Rhys.”  Cole is almost solemn, his eyes cloudy and staring at me intently.

“Rhys?”  I question.   _ I don’t recognize that name. _  “Who is that?”  Slowly, Cole sits down beside me on the dusty floor.  There’s a lot of cobwebs around us. And dusty books that haven’t been touched in ages.

“Before you, Rhys was my friend.  He showed me I was wrong to kill the mages.  I thought I was helping them. Then he and Evangeline went to Adamant and I went with them.  I was worried Evangeline would hurt Rhys. We found out dangerous things about Tranquility. It scared Seeker Lambert and he scared the mages.  It started the Rebellion. Seeker Lambert told me what I was. Rhys couldn’t look at me.” He ducks his head a little at that. Poor kid… “I ran until I found more Templars.  That’s all.” He says, his voice quietly bouncing around the stone, as he looks at me expectantly.

“Can you tell me about Rhys?”  He slowly nods before wetting his lips to speak.

“He was a mage.  The son of your friend, the old woman.  Like you, he saw me when most couldn’t and remembered.  He helped me. And I watched over him. I worried Evangeline would hurt him.  She was a Templar, but she didn’t like hurting people. When I left, she stayed.  Now she watches over him. They should have been with the rebels. Maybe they ran away together instead?  Neither of them like killing.” I slowly nod with his explanation, taking it all in.

 

“Um, would you like me to try and see if they’re okay?”  Rapidly, he shakes his head, the hat swaying a little.

“No.  If they are alive and safe, they should stay away.  The last time he saw me, he didn’t want to look at me.  He saw a monster. Let him forget.”

* * *

 

As we climb the hill, Cole spots a man in old leathers talking to a dwarf.  The spirit boy stops momentarily, staring intently ahead. As soon as the man spots us, he peers curiously at my approaching group.  He waves the dwarf off and starts to come forward.

“Greetings.  Can I help you?”  He asks in a confused voice, peering at Cole and I in the front.  As soon as he speaks, Cole stops and narrows his eyes in disgust.

“You.”  A chill runs down my spine at the cold, guttural inflection Cole has.  Before I can blink, Cole uses his abilities to leap forward at the man.  The boy uses a hand to force the man on his knees, his head looking up. Cole’s other hand has a dagger, poised to strike.  “You killed me!” Cole is honestly frightening like this. I’ve never seen him so mad, so dangerous.

The man in the weaker position is frightened and at a loss.

“What?”  He sputters, looking up at Cole.  “I don’t… I don’t even know you!” Cole only flinches his dagger back in anger at this response.

“You forgot!”  He says in an angry, desperate voice.  “You locked me in the dungeon in the Spire, and you forgot, and I died in the dark!”  I see the man’s eyes widen in horror and realization.

“The Spire…?”  I can only stare in horror at what Cole’s doing, unable to move or speak.

“Cole, stop!”  Solas’ voice breaks through to the spirit.  The second my friend looks up at the rest of us, the man he cornered gets up and flees, almost tripping over himself as he bolts.  Cole stares after him and starts to follow, but Varric steps in his path.

“Just… take it, easy kid.”  Cole glares in the direction the other man went, pointing for emphasis.

“He killed me.  He killed me! That’s why it doesn’t work!  He killed me and I have to kill him back!” I step closer to Cole, unsure of what to do, the worry sinking in my stomach.

“Cole, wait…”

“Cole, this man cannot have killed you.”  Solas cuts in at the opportunity. “You are a spirit.  You have not even possessed a body.” As Cole stares off with glazed eyes of anger, he begins to softly speak.

“A broken body, banged on the stone cell, guts griping in the dark dank, a captured Apostate.  They threw him into the dungeon in the Spire at Val Royeaux. They forgot about him. He starved to death.”  We all watch in tense silence as Cole recounts how he got here. How he died- how the real Cole died. “I came through to help him, and I couldn’t- so I became him.  Cole.”

 

The four of us remain silent as we all process what went on.   _ Did Cole die because of an administration error?  Were the templars just cruel? Poor kid. Poor spirit.  ...Poor Cole, both of them. They’ve each suffered so much. _

“If Cole was an Apostate, that’d make the guy we just saw a Templar.  Must’ve been buying Lyrium.”

“Let me kill him.  I need to… I need to.”  Cole says in a shaky voice.   _ No, there’s no way I’m letting him do that.  That’s so destructive. Cole would turn into the very thing he’d fear.  Oh shit… Cole could very possibly become a demon. _  As Cole walks closer, the rest of us huddle together.

“We cannot let Cole kill the man.”  Solas orders in a whispering hiss.

“I don’t think anyone was going to suggest that, Chuckles.”

“Cole is a spirit.  The death of the real Cole wounded him.  Perverted him from his purpose. To regain that part of himself, Cole must forgive.  If he doesn’t, I fear…” Solas’ thought hangs in the tense air.

“Come on,” Varric retorts.  “You don’t just forgive someone _ killing _ you.  The kid’s angry.  He needs to work through it.”

“You don’t!  A spirit can.  A spirit does not work through emotions, it embodies them.”  Solas retorts, very clearly wanting to make Cole a spirit.  _ I’ve never done that before.  I’ve always made Cole more human.  Kind of because I don’t want to lose him how he is.  I don’t want him to forget. _

“But he isn’t a spirit, is he?  He made himself human, and humans change.  They get hurt and they heal. He needs to work it out like a person.”

“You would alter the very essence of what he is.”  At this, Varric only gives a sort of casual shrug.

“He did that to himself when Cole left the Fade.  I’m just helping him survive it.” I glance at both men before steadying myself.   _ I know Solas disapproves, but I can’t let Cole just… forgive something so… monstrous.  Him or not, it’s still a major crime. _

“Varric?”  He nods.

“Leave it to me.”  He says before walking to Cole and starting to lead him to where the Templar ran to.  “Alright kid, you want revenge? Come with me.”

 

By the time Solas and I catch up with them, Cole and Varric have the Templar cornered on the edge of a cliff.  There’s a makeshift campsite on the left, and since the Templar ran here, I assume it’s his. The man holds his hands up in surrender, ducking his head, quivering with fear.

“I’m sorry!  I’m so sorry!”  He warbles out as Cole angrily stomps closer.

“Sorry isn’t going to help him now, is it, kid?”  Varric says in a tone of voice like he’s leading Cole down a particular line of thought.

“No.”  Cole says in a voice as hard as flint.  I watch as Varric slowly takes Bianca out, opening up her cross with a metal spring sound, and hands it to Cole.  The spirit boy shifts a little at the heavy weight of the crossbow but steadies himself.

“Just pull the trigger and put him down like a mad dog.”   _ This is the worst Old Yeller rip off I’ve seen. _  I cover my eyes in fear and anxiousness, peeking out between a couple fingers.  Cole aims down the sight and points it at the now cowering Templar. The man is huddled on the ground, hands covering his head, desperately looking at Cole in pure fear.

“No, don’t!”  He begs. Cole gives a yell of rage as he pulls the trigger, but nothing happens.  There’s an empty click. No recoil. No bolt hits the Templar. As my hands go down I give a huge sigh, the relief washing over me.   _ My poor little heart.  I need a hug. _  Varric places a hand on Cole’s shoulder and gently takes Bianca away from a confused, emotional spirit.

“Feel any better?”  Cole shakes his head, his voice coming out shaky.

“No…”

“You can’t make it all just go away.  I learned that the hard way.” As Cole raises his hand to affect the Templar’s memories, Varric places his hand on Cole’s wrist and lowers the boy’s arm.  “No, he needs to remember. You too.” He starts to lead Cole away, leaving the Templar on the edge of the cliff, a terrified and confused mess.

“We’re done here.”

* * *

 

Dorian and I hover in front of the door to the ‘Gull and Lantern’.  His hand wavers in front of the handle like he doesn’t know if he really wants this.  I can tell by his face he’s got a lot of thoughts swimming around. I place a hand on his arm.

“Hey, I’m here, okay?  We’ll get through this.  I know you can do it.” Dorian meets my gaze and nods, hesitantly pushing the door open with a slow creak.

The tavern is as dark as when I met Alexius.  There’s a few candles and lanterns about, giving a red glow to the atmosphere.  It’s also quiet, the floorboards creaking under us or parts of the building groaning in the wind.  It’s unsettling. Like somethings going to pop out of a corner and scream, or we’re going to find a dead body in the basement.  The door shuts with a slam as Dorian steps forward and looks about.

“Uh oh.”  He mutters.  “Nobody’s here.  This doesn’t bode well.”

“Don’t say that that makes bad things happen…”  I gripe mostly to myself. Then, behind us, there’s a slow creaking of the steps as someone descends.

“Dorian…”  An older voice says, causing my friend to turn around.  Before us is a man dressed in mage robes with a Tevinter styled decoration.  His skin and hair are the same shade as Dorian’s. His face looks old and haggard with stress and age.  He looks at the two of us with a neutral expression, but there’s a pain in his eyes. Pain he wants no one to see.

“Father.”  Dorian says in the same tone of voice.  There’s a tense silence between the two men before Dorian starts to speak more.  “So the whole story about the ‘family retainer’ was just… what? A smoke screen?”  Dorian’s father slowly takes a few more steps downward, wringing his hands as he does so.

“Then you were told.”  He has an air of disappointment at that.  Now he turns and addresses me for the first time.  “I apologize for the deception, Inquisitor. I never intended for you to be involved.”

“Dorian’s my friend!  Of cou,rse I’m involved.  No way in hell would I trick him like that.”  Dorian snorts and his voice takes on a different tone, more angry this time.

“Of course not.  Magister Pavus couldn’t come to Skyhold and be seen with the dread Inquisitor.  What would people think?” Now he rounds on his dad and hard and cautious look on his face.  “What is ‘this’ exactly, Father? Ambush? Kidnapping? Warm family reunion?” He’s using his sarcasm to keep his tone biting.  The Magister just closes his eyes and sighs.

“This is how is has always been.”  I wrinkle my nose and frown.

“You lied to him to get him here.  I think Dorian has a right to be angry.”  Dorian pauses before shaking his head, his face still royally pissed.

“You don’t know the half of it.”  He grumbles before looking at me. “But maybe you should.”

“Dorian, there’s no need to-”  His father tries to cut in, but its in vain.

“I prefer the company of men.”  Dorian explains in spite of his dad.  “My father… disapproves.” He adds in a bitter tone.

“This display is uncalled for.”  Halward adds to the conversation.  Before I can shout his face is uncalled for, Dorian already has an answer.

“No, it  _ is _ called for.  You called for it be luring me here!”

“This is not what I-”

“I’m never what you wanted, Father, or had you forgotten that?  Every Tevinter family is intermarrying to distill the perfect mage.  Perfect body, perfect mind, the perfect leader.”  _ Ew, incest is gross!!! _  “It means every perceived flaw- every aberration- is deviant and shameful.  It must be hidden.” Dorian adds on. Halward only looks on at us, his head hanging in shame.  I glance between the two of them.

 

“So the whole issue is who you’re attracted to?”  Sadly, or in disgust or anger, Dorian shakes his head.

“That’s not  _ all  _ this is about.”  He mutters, voice quiver like Cole’s had.  His father tries to come closer, with a hand stretched out to him.

“Dorian, please, if you’ll just listen-”

“Why?  So you can spout more convenient lies?”  Dorian adds, pointing in his father’s face before pacing back and forth angrily.  “ _ He _ taught me to hate blood magic.  ‘The resort of the weak mind’. Those are  _ his _ words.”  He rounds on his dad again. 

“But what was the first thing you did when your precious heir refused to play pretend for the rest of his life?”  Now he falters as he looks at him and me, Dorian’s face like a punch in the gut. “You tried to  _ change _ me!”  He sounds so heartbroken I just want to pull him out of here and beat the living crap out of that man.

“You what?!” I practically growl at Halward.   _ Conversion therapy is just… sick and wrong.  Plain and simple. _  “You don’t do something that sick to your fucking kid!”

“I wanted what was best for you, Dorian.”  He ‘tries’ to justify himself, but neither Dorian or I are having any of it.

“You wanted what was best for  _ you _ !  For your fucking legacy!  Anything for that!” Dorian then, losing some of his steam, stands over by a table away from Halward.  I make sure I stand between them, close to Dorian, glaring at his dad.

 

“Look… I…”  I’m not sure what to say or what to do.  Usually, I had Dorian talk to his dad, because he might regret not at least trying.  But now I just want to drag him away and chop off his dad’s head. “I don’t exactly know what you’ve been through, but I can understand.  Personally, I want to punch his lights out, but he does seem… like he wants to try. Just give him five minutes, hear what he has to say. You don’t like it, walk out.  But this is up to you. Whatever you want to do, Dorian, I’ll support you. And punch your dad.” After drumming his fingers on the wooden table for what seemed like a long time, Dorian rises and slowly faces his father.

“Tell me why you came.”  Halward looks regretful, but faces his son.

“If I knew I would drive you to the Inquisition…”

“You didn’t!”  Dorian almost fumes.  “I joined the Inquisition because it’s the right thing to do!  Once… I had a father who might have known that.” Dorian turns on his heel and begins to head for the door, wanting to be done with this situation.  But Halward’s voice stops him when he reaches a hand for the door.

“Once, I had a son who trusted me.  A trust I betrayed. I only wanted to talk to him.  To hear his voice. ...To ask him to forgive me.”

 

At this, Dorian pauses and turns around slowly, looking closely at his father.  There’s another silence again, but it’s not as tense. I see Dorian’s eyes flit between Halward and I, so I head for the door, but making sure to stop beside Dorian.

“If you need me, I’m right outside the door, okay?”  After he nods, I exit the tavern and begin to wait on bated breath for whatever my friend decides to do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm slowly writing more as I go. Just need to get out of this writer's block phase... UGH. Thank you for your patience and comments! They always brighten my day! =)


	54. Never Bet Against an Antivan

I slowly and begrudgingly make my way to Cullen’s office.  I just have to drop off these papers and the request from Josie for his measurements for the upcoming ball at Halamshiral.   _It hasn’t actually hit me we’re_ **_going_ ** _to the Winter Palace.  I’ve never seen a palace before._  All I’ve heard of so far is Josie, Leliana, Vivienne, and Cassandra all have different opinions on what the Inquisition should wear.  And what the Inquisitor should wear. _Blegh._  Cass is adamant I dress like the rest of them, while the other three are more inclined for me to wear something French to impress the court.  I side with Cass on this one. I’d rather wear that Nutcracker uniform than a corset and hoop skirt.

I push open the door to Cullen’s office, repeating my mantra of: ‘Drop the papers off and leave.  Drop them off and leave.’ before I’m sidetracked by Cassandra standing in front of his desk.

“You asked for my opinion and I’ve given it.  Why would you expect it to change?”

“I expect you to keep your word.” Cullen gruffly replies from behind his desk.  “It’s relentless, I can’t-”

“You give yourself too little credit.”  Is the statement she cuts him off with. I hear Cullen drum his fingers on the desk impatiently.  I awkwardly and quietly stand in the doorway, not wanting to interpret but unsure of what to do.

“If I’m unable to fulfill the vows I kept, then nothing good has come of this.  Would you rather save face than admit-” I use the opportunity to cough loudly. Cassandra whirls around in surprise, the turn allowing Cullen to notice me.  He looks at me for a moment, an angry look on his face, but it seems more because of the conversation than at my intrusion. The Commander glances back at Cassandra and nods.  “Forgive me.” He excuses himself and walks out to the battlements for air or something. The Seeker watches him leave, shaking her head and sighing as the door shuts behind the Ferelden.

 

“And people say _I’m_ stubborn.  This is ridiculous.”  She says to herself before turning her head in my direction.  “Has Cullen told you he’s no longer taking lyrium?” _Well, Cullen hasn’t exactly said more than a few sentences to me at a time, so no, not really.  But I already know. Except I can’t just say that._

“Wait, he what?”  I asked in what I hope sounds like a surprise.  Cassandra just nods like she thought as much.

“Templars take lyrium to augment their abilities, but at the cost of addiction.  The effects of withdrawal are debilitating for some. Cullen has been off lyrium since he joined the Inquisition, and believes it is affecting his ability to lead.  The withdrawal might have been part of the reason for the way he…” She pauses before continuing, her eyes flashing about a little. “-Has acted toward you.” _That’s one way to put it…_

“If he’s trying to overcome addiction, I approve of that.”

“As do I.  Not that he’s willing to listen.  Cullen has asked that I recommend Samson for his replacement, but I refused.  I do not believe it necessary.” Now the Narvarren begins pacing slowly as she explains her reasoning.

“Samson has been training our troops to fight Red Templars and has found a niche in it.  Our soldiers respect and obey their Commander. If we were to replace him when we’ve come so far, Samson would have to go a long way to earn their respect.  And Cullen has come so far, it would destroy him.” Now she pauses again, stopping to look where Cullen had left, her gloved fingers tapping on her forearm. “I am not sure of what could change his mind.  Perhaps because Cullen and I are friends, he is not taking my advice. Maybe an outside force could get to him? I have noticed he seems more agreeable to you as of late, so your advice might not go unheeded.”  Now as we hear Cullen’s footsteps coming back, she begins to approach the doorway. I enter slightly and step aside. Before Cassandra leaves, she places a hand on my shoulder and gives me a pleading look.

“Please, talk to him.  Decide if now is the time.”

 

Just as Cassandra leaves, Cullen enters and stalks over to his desk, not noticing me at all.  As he stands there, he stares down at something. I can see the edge of the open box on his desk.   _Must be his lyrium kit._  The longer he looks at it, the more his face contorts in rage.  It just keeps bubbling up and bubbling until Cullen can’t take it anymore.  He yells a primal roar of anger and angrily throws the kit against the wall, hitting the door to my right.  The yelp I give in fright is enough to draw Cullen to my presence, as he notices me, just about as startled as I am.

“Maker’s breath!”  He exclaims. “I didn’t even hear you enter! I-”  He stops short, glancing down in shame. He slowly shakes his head to himself.

“Forgive me…”  He says barely above a whisper.  He stands near his desk, just looking at the floor.  The silence is awkward between us. The only good thing is I can’t sense any hostile vibes coming from him.   _Maybe things are turning around?_

“Are you okay?”  I quietly ask, my heart still pounding in shock.  Cullen grimaces slightly and shakes his head again.

“You don’t have to…”  He winces in pain and gripes the desk with his left hand.  “I never meant for this to interfere.” Cautiously, I step closer, worry for him overcoming my fear of him.

“Are you… Are you sure you’re okay?”

“Yes.”  He answers, then immediately hesitates, then gives a heavy sigh.  “...I don’t know.” He admits, maybe more to himself than to me. Now he slowly walks to the window, words spilling from him like a fountain.

“I imagine you know what happened at Ferelden’s Circle.  It was taken over by Abominations and blood mages. The Templars- _my friends_ \- were slaughtered.  I was… tortured. They tried to break my mind and I-”  He stops, looking so hurt by his own memories. I may not like him much, but nobody should go through what he has.  “How can you be the same person after that?” He mutters quietly, his back now to me.

“Still, I wanted to serve.  But for my opinions and suggestions, Gregor eventually had me transferred to Kirkwall to get away from the… memories.  I trusted Knight-Commander Meredith and for what? Her fear of mages and paranoia turned her on the Champion. That was where I drew the line.  It was madness. Kirkwall’s Circle fell, innocent people dying in the streets. Can you see why I want nothing to do with that life?” Now he pauses, looking at me expectantly.   _That isn’t a hypothetical question?  He wants me to speak? What do I say?  Do I sympathize with him? Put him on blast?_

“I understand what you went through was… a lot.”  I begin. “But it doesn’t excuse the fact you asked me to slaughter innocent children in the Circle or that you only stepped in when Hawke was threatened because the nobles would rise against you if something happened to him.  But your trauma and PTSD explains why you acted the way you did.”

 

Cullen looks at me for a moment, processing what I said to him.  Then he nods in understanding.

“I thought if I could stop taking lyrium I would gain some control over my life, but these thoughts won’t leave me.”  He sounds so pained as he starts frantically walking around his office, gesturing wildly with his hands. “How many lives depend on our success?  I swore myself to this cause…! I will _not_ give less than I did the Chantry!”  He proclaims.

“I should be taking it!”  He yells out, punching a bookcase.  I jump involuntarily at the noise. “...I should be taking it.”  I frown to myself as Cullen grows quiet. _He might have been a dick to me, but so far he’s being civil.  And he’s having a dilemma right now. Besides, drugs are bad. Say no to drugs!_

“Cullen, if you take lyrium, you’ll be addled and in the palm of the Chantry again.  That’s not giving your best. Showing other Templars and your men you can lead while overcoming addiction is giving your best.  When things get bad, you have others you can lean on, like Cass, or Samson might know what you’re going through. But either way, you aren’t alone.  Also, drugs are bad.” Cullen looks genuinely surprised at my words. For a few minutes, he almost doesn’t know what to say. “Do you need that in writing, Commander?”  He starts nodding, slowly, a look of relief in his eyes.

“...Thank you, Inquisitor.”  As I open my mouth to say something, he raises a hand.  “Ever since you stepped out of the rift, I have been nothing but… intolerable towards you, just because of my past.  I can understand if you despise me, with all I’ve said to you. But I hope…” He pauses, briefly. “Perhaps you can accept my apology.  And we could start over.” I blink in shock. _Is he saying he’s sorry?  And he wants to try over again?  ...Did Bull actually talk with him?_

“I…”  I fumble for what to say.   _I can’t forgive him completely, not after that crap he pulled before I became Inquisitor._  “I can’t entirely let you off the hook for what you’ve said, but if you’re willing to try to be civil, I think we can start over.”  Just as Cullen starts to say something, Josephine's voice echoes through Skyhold in a cry.

 

* * *

 

After I rush into her office, I see my Ambassador holding a letter and staring at the lettering with shock and horror.

“Josie, are you okay?”  I ask as I speed walk to her desk.   _She’s not hurt, so it isn’t the assassins.  Thank goodness._  She looks up from the letter with worried eyes, brushing a few loose strands of hair from her face.

“Inquisitor!  I’m sorry to have worried you… But I have just received some… troubling news.”  She gently places the letter down and rises gracefully from her chair, beginning to walk in front of her fireplace.  “Because my family has been in debt for many generations, our finances are devastated. My family has been forbidden from trading in Orlais for quite some time.”  I blink in shock. I remembered times were bad for her family, but a hundred years of debt?

“I… wow.”  Is all I can manage to say.

“We’ve done everything to keep creditors at bay.  Sold our lands to stave of interest.” She starts pacing, only pausing momentarily to express her annoyance by raising her arms.  “It’s _infuriating_ to see my family still reduced to this!  I’m to become Head of our household. If I sell any more of our lands, my family will become destitute!  That _cannot_ be my legacy to them!”  I take a step closer as Josie starts to wind down from her rant.  I can see the worry clear on her face. She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath, a palm on her forehead.

“Is there anything I can do to help?”  I ask, though I doubt I can actually do anything.  When Josie composes herself again, she continues to speak.

“I’d almost solved our problems.  I negotiated a chance to reinstate the Montilyets as landed traders in Orlais.  We could rebuild with that. But, when I dispatched the paperwork to Val Royeaux…”  She takes a long pause, looking sadly at the floor as she wrings her hands in anxiety.  “I’ve just learned the carriers were murdered. And all documents restoring my family’s trading status destroyed.”  I frown in confusion at her.

“Who  would do something like that?”

“Leliana has made some inquiries.  A Comte Bosivert of Val Royeaux claims to know who killed my messengers.  Seeing as we are leaving for Halamshiral in a week, I’ve asked to arrange a meeting before the Ball.  However, he has one request: that you come when I meet him, so he is seen ‘publicly conferring’ with you.”  As Josie explains, she slowly walks back to her desk and sits, staring at the paper while running her fingers nervously through her tied-up hair.  I don’t like the idea of playing into this guy’s hands. I remember he’s an assassin, that much I know. But if it helps Josie, then why not?

“If that’s what you need, we’ll meet this guy then.”  As soon as the words leave my lips, she beams at me, looking so relieved and grateful.

“Thank you, Catherine!  You are too kind.”

 

Now she gives a deep sigh of relief, closing her eyes and breathing in through her nose, exhaling through her mouth.  She calmly places the letter from her merchants and sets it in a drawer in her desk. Then she starts rummaging through another pile- one I know contains things for the upcoming Halamshiral trip- the pages and her sleeves fluttering as she does.

“Now, I have gone to all your companions to get their measurements for our uniforms to the ball.  Our initial idea to all wear the same thing has been modified somewhat. The uniform shall still invoke the same design, but with changes for each person to reflect their class or status.  However, there is still the matter of what you shall wear, Catherine.” I inwardly gulp like a cartoon. I know I’ve been avoiding this. But I also know with the way Orlais is, impressions and appearances are crucial.  Try as I might, I probably won’t be able to get away with running around in pants.

“W-What about it?”  I ask hesitantly. Josephine gives a small, understanding, laugh.

“I know you are uncomfortable with the style of dress in Thedas, but Leliana and I came up with a compromise for you.  Because you have…” She pauses, tapping her finger on the edge of the quill as she writes. “Unique abilities regarding your magic, you could change into someone that appears similar to our culture but allows you to be comfortable with yourself.  The Orlesian Court is fond of masks and double meanings, so your shifting may gain some approval with the fact you wear someone else’s face- your own mask, if you will.” I nod along in agreement. I like this plan a lot more. If I’m someone else, people staring at me won’t feel as weird.  And if I can be anybody I want, I can wear almost anything I want. I could run around as a video game character or wear something they’ve never seen before… or dress up like someone I’ve never been able to. Excitedly, I jump up and clap my hands.

“I have an idea!”  The Ambassador looks up, pleasantly surprised.  She sets the pen down and gestures for me to continue.

“By all means,”

 

I take a deep breath as I concentrate, focusing on my childhood memories.  The music, the animation, the meet and greets at Disney world. When I was younger, I loved the thought of being a Disney Princess, but as I got older, I don’t exactly have the body type or height to pull it off.  But now, I guess I can. As I shift, the magic around me feels somehow warm and happy. I feel like I’m being hugged. When I open my eyes, I’m taller than I was. Glancing down at my arms, I see I did pull it off.  I can feel the hair hanging down my back, the bangs of red curving to the side. I grab the edges of the pink dress and giggle. This dress is so poofy. The sleeves are pink balls on the shoulders that become long sleeves on my arms.  Over the underskirt is a pink overlay. I look exactly like Ariel does in the movie! When I open my arms and twirl around, the dress flutters like in a movie as I spin. After I stop myself, I fold my hands and look to Josie for her input.

She has a finger places to her chin as she walks around me, studying the Disney Princess I’ve become.  Eventually, she shakes her head.

“While the dress does fit a style similar to the court, the color is out of season.  If we were allowed to let you show up like that, the Game would eat us alive. And that shade of red in your head would turn some heads in an unpleasant way.”  As I pout in disappointment, she takes on a more sympathetic look. “Perhaps you could shift into someone with a… cooler color pallet? Something like blue- or purple if you’re daring?”   _Purples my favorite color!  I have a new idea!_

I close my eyes and concentrate again.  Now I stand before Josie, the same height, in a new dress.  The dress is much more narrow, the purple skirt a lot closer to my figure than Ariel’s poof ball.  The shade of purple is a bit lighter than what Disney uses, but I can live with that. The lacy detailing on the edges of the skirt feel a little odd, but the skirt still twirls as I move.  I move my fingers along the bright pink lacing of the lavender bodice. As I turn my head over my shoulder I can tell I gave myself Rapunzel’s long hair. It trails all the way down my back and curls on the floor around my feet- which are wearing flats instead of barefoot.

Josephine looks much more pleased with this outfit, but she pauses at the hair length.  I figured she might.

“I have reservations about the… length.  Not only would navigating the ballroom be quite difficult, our enemies could easily hold you back and injure or even kill you.  Is there any way you could shorten it? Perhaps tie it up in some way?” _Yeah, that makes sense.  My head feels kinda heavy anyway_.  I quickly shift to change my hair into the braid from the film, flowers and all.  My Antivan ambassador nods, pleased.

“I believe we can make this work to our advantage.”  I giggle again as I twirl around, unable to contain my giddy excitement.

_I'M A DISNEY PRINCESS!!!_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Josie's quest is coming up next, complete with an interesting twist I've had in mind for awhile! Hope you're all as excited for Halamshiral as I am to write it. It's going to be a Disney-fest!
> 
> If you liked this chapter or the story so far, please comment, it means the world to me!


	55. Seeming

Josephine and I make our way to Boisvert’s manor.  As we approach the main steps to the entrance, she stops and turns to me.  However, I was so busy concentrating on getting my Antivan accent right, I nearly trip on the steps.  Thankfully, Josie catches my arm before I smash Zevran’s nose into the tile.

“Thanks.”   _Thank god he sounds right and not like that time I tried to imitate his accent in high school  ...I failed. Wait, do I sound right?_  “Are you sure I’ve got the accent right?”  I ask as I stand up, brushing the dirt off his black crow armor.  At least I got rid of that bird beak helmet. _Couldn’t see outta that thing anyway._  Josie nods in reply as she fidgits with worry.

“Yes, you sound convincing.  But he requested to meet the Inquisitor, why have you…”  She trails off as I wave my hand, letting the Anchor flash a bit.

“It’s not like I can hide this.  And if it’s a trap, he won’t know what I really look like.  Plus, you know,” I flex my right wrist, making a hidden blade come out.  “Precautions.” My Ambassador glances unknowingly at the dagger, stepping back a half step.

“You are certain a weapon is necessary to meet the Comte?”  I give an exaggerated shrug. _I can’t tell her it’s the House of Repose outright.  It’ll freak her out and the meeting might go bad._

“Just being paranoid.  Come, let’s go meet this ‘Boisvert’.”  I reply smoothly and start to walk on the steps before almost tripping over the cape.  “Braska!” I curse, remembering that from the party select screen.

“Why does an assassin wear such ridiculous armor?!”

 

We enter a dining room with tall ceilings; the columns, walls, and floor all seem to be made of the same white marble tile.  I see a golden shimmer to the crown on the ceiling and floor. I do my best not to gawk at the luxury of it all. I’m a smooth-talking assassin.  Zev would be used to stuff like this, the Crows work for nobility and all that. However, the long table at the end of the room is empty. As I turn to the right, I see the ‘Comte’ sitting on the veranda at a small table, a servant serving him a glass of wine.  He’s dressed in the same strange outfit that man at Vivienne's sorrie was wearing. As soon as the man notices us, he politely waves us over.

“Welcome, my friends.”  He greets as the two of us approach.  Josie curtsies and ducks her head a little.  I take her cue and give a bow, one I hope isn’t too sweeping.  But I guess Orlais would like the extravagance. The man before us seems pleased and waves a hand across him.  “Please, sit. It’s an honor to meet with such distinguished guests.” He pauses as he rearranges himself in the chair, setting down the glass and tenting his hands.  I can’t see much of his face at all, but judging by the posture and the pause, he seems to be scrutinizing me.

“And you are the Inquisitor, no?”  I place my right hand to my heart and let the Anchor flash briefly.

“Guilty as charged, monsieur.  I am Zevran, Zev to my friends.”

“I must admit, I was unaware House Montilyet controlled what was left of the Arainai cell.”  I see Josie’s eyes dart to me in a panic, her mouth almost open in confusion. Quickly, I cut her off with a pleasant laugh.

“I am here as a friend, not on business.”  I give him a cocky smile. “If I were here as a Crow, you and I would have a very different first meeting.”  The Orlesean before me gives a laugh on his own.

“Naturally, naturally.  A brush with someone as well known as yourself can be a great asset in Val Royeaux.”  He briefly nods in the direction of Josephine as he speaks. “Giving the identity of those who murdered Lady Josephine's messengers is the least I could do.  Have you heard of the House of Repose?” Josie’s hand jumps to cover her mouth in shock.

“The Assassin’s League?”  I, on the other hand, casually lean back in the chair, bringing one leg over the other.

“I’d be a terribly bad Crow if I hadn’t.”

 

The Comte, her voice serious and low, leans forward and slides a rolled up scroll across the table.

“My contacts obtained a document in their archives.  A contract for a life.” I nod to my Ambassador to read the note when she glances my way.  As she unrolls the scroll, our host leans back and sips his wine glass, waiting. Josephine begins to read slowly, her voice trembling as she gets further down the scroll.

“‘The House of Repose hereby sworn to eliminate anyone ateempting to overturn the Montiliyet’s trading exile in Orials’?”  She’s stunned into silence, only staring between the page and the man before us. He sets the wine glass down with an audible click on the table.   _Funny, considering most noble’s keep their pinky out and place it between the glass and table to not make noise.  Somebody’s lying._

“The contract was signed by a noble family; The Du Paraquets’.”  Josie’s eyebrows furrow.

“But the DuParaquets died out as a noble house over sixty years ago!”  She protests.

“Indeed.”  He agrees with her.  “But the contract was signed one hundred and nine years ago.”  I nod along with the conversation.

“Quite interesting how the dead are attempting to kill you from the beyond, yes?”  I ask, tilting my head in Josie’s direction. She sighs to herself and begins to explain.

“The Du Paraquette’s were our rivals.  They drove us from Val Royeaux. It was written over a hundred years ago, yet hasn’t been invoked until I…”  She trails off, her message clear. The Comte gives a casual shrug.

“The House of Repose is only fulfilling its contractual duties.”  As I shift in the chair, my leather armor makes a noise.

 

“Well then, I’ve taken down multiple Crow syndicates.  What harm is there in destroying this Orlesean guild?” Quickly, Josie places a hand on my forearm to stop me.

“There may be a less confrontational way to end this.  The Du Paraquette’s still have descendants under the command branch.  If we elevate them to nobility, a Du Paraquette could annul the contract on my life.”

“That will take time, Lady Montilyet.”  Our host says, wine glass in hand. “Time during which the House of Repose is obligated to hunt you.”  I see at this statement Josie’s eyes harden as she watches the man. She leans forward, her voice much harder than before, a flash of the woman who became a bard showing.

“Will they now?”  She asks in an accusing tone.  “You are exceedingly well-informed.  Yet you said you only knew… rumors, at best.”

“A bit of subterfuge.”  The assassin states, still as casual, all pretense dropped.  “This contract on your life is nasty business. One the House of Repose deeply regrets.  But this is Orlais, even as assassin’s word is his bond. Agreed, Monsour Arainai?” I shrug back, coping his casual air.

“True, but we Crows aren’t nearly as… polite as your House in terms of informing our mark.”  He gives a laugh that sounds like a shared experience. _Have I got him fooled?_

“The contract on Lady Montilyet’s life was so unusual, the courtesy of an explanation was in order.”  Josie seems crestfallen and at a loss. Her head drops down, and I can’t tell if it’s a bow or out of emotion.

“It is… appreciated, monsieur.”  Meanwhile, the assassin slowly begins to rise from the chair.

“Your idea to elevate the Du Paraquette's is an… interesting one.  I wish you luck.” But before he can turn to go, I’m already standing in front of him, blocking his way.  “I did not come to shed blood today, monsieur. Only to speak. Might I pass?” _Hm, what to do?  I could let him go, but that would only leave one more man to attack Josie whenever.  And his guard seems to be down slightly, given the situation. No, I have no choice. I can’t let one slip through on my watch._  I give him a charming smile and extend my left hand for a shake.

“Of course, mi amico.”  As we shake, he seems a little confused.

“Quite a grip you have…”  He comments when I don’t let him go right away.  Unable to come up with some type of banter and not wanting him to slip away, I yank him forward as hard as I can, letting the hidden blade sink into his neck before the assassin has time to register what’s happened.  I hear Josie’s cry of shock as the ‘Comte’ drops at my feet. I blink down at the corpse I just made, the realization I killed somebody not in self-defense slowly washing over me.

“Catherine, why did you do that?!”  Josie asks in shock as she rushes over to me.  I shrug at her, still in Zevran’s form.

“Why would I let an assassin get away like that?  He could come back to hurt you.”

“He was only informing us as his job entailed.  And I could be hurt by a number of things, but this man was not paid to kill me.”  Thankfully, she only seems a **little** disappointed.  I notice she has the scroll in hand.

"True.  Magic can kill, knives can kill; even children launched at great speeds can kill.  So could this man.  I'm not about to take chances because Orlais considers it 'polite'."   My ambassador sighs and starts to lead me out of the manor when we hear a muffled yell from the other side of the room.  As we both turn, I have to laugh.

“Oh, I forgot about him.”

* * *

 

Vivienne claps her hands twice, signaling me to start the dance again.   _This is so humiliating!  I’ve been at this for hours!  And it’s not like this long braid makes it any easier to hop about!_  I stick my tongue out in concentration as I try to remember the steps for this Orlesean line dance I have to learn for the Ball.   _Hop, step, step.  Hop, step, step- crap, what do I do with my feet after this?  Uhhh, oh! That ballet pointe thingy, right!_

“No, no, my dear,”  Vivienne stops the minstrel again.  “You clap your partner’s hands before the contratemp and assamblé.”  I grumble audibly before returning to the starting point.

“Come, Inquisitor, you mustn’t pout like that.  You must make a favorable impression on the Court, the Grand Duke, and Her Majesty if we are to come out of the Game favorably.  There are many Lords and Ladies who have asked for your turn during the ball and to ignore them all to play as a wallflower is not an option in your position.”  My frown only increases.

“Can’t I at least use music I’m more familiar with?  This stuff is too slow and it’s throwing me off. I even brought the boombox Dagna made...”  Vivienne shakes her head.

“Your culture is too different from that of Orlais.  You must become familiar with our music to succeed.” She taps her staff on the floor with a dynamic bang to signal the mistral to start again.  As I start the contra dance again, I can’t help but scowl in anger. _I didn’t mean rock music.  I have plenty of medieval music on my iPod, stuff that was used during this time period.  I swear it would help me learn this better. It would at least take my mind off all the people watching me.  I’ve got Viv, Josie, Leliana, Cass, and I swear Sera might be hiding behind a pillar to make fun of me. I feel so ridiculous I want to curl into a ball and die!  And I haven’t even gotten to dancing with a partner… And being touched intimately makes my skin crawl. I don’t what I’ll do then._

Thankfully, this time I make it through the first stanza without being corrected, so I assume that’s a plus.  I was told it just repeats over and over again, so does this mean I’ve got it down? As I stop at Vivienne’s instruction, Rapunzel's purple dress flutters around my figure.  I’ve been instructed to stay in this form while we stay in the guest wing of the Winter Palace, so it’s not confusing as to who I am at the Ball. Apparently, with Josie, Leliana, and Vivienne’s court standing, we were able to snag some rooms for the Inquisition.  While it’s nice we don’t have to travel here from a hotel, we’re also smack dab in the lion’s den. But we’re not even in the main building, so at least we’re away from most of the prying eyes of ‘The Game’.

“You are doing much better, my dear.  In a few days, you should be passable by Court standards.”   _Oh, goody._

 

Now that the ordeal is **finally** over, I stalk around the halls of the building we’re staying in, listening to my iPod, not caring what French fop or servant sees me with my oh-so scary modern technology.  Because of all that music the minstrel was playing, I have old songs stuck in my head. I end up hitting shuffle on my ‘Medieval’ playlist as I walk around the brightly lit hallways with large windows overlooking the grounds.

“ _When Daphne from fair Phoebus did fly,_ _  
_ _The West wind most sweetly did blow in her face._ _  
_ _Her silken scarf scarce sheltered her eyes._ _  
_ _The god cried, O pity! and held her in_ chase _._ ”

 

Out of boredom, I stare at the window down at the garden.  I’m free to walk the grounds around here as I see fit, so long as I don’t go to the actual palace itself. _I don’t really want to go there anyway._ _  
_

“ _Stay, nymph, stay, nymph, cried Apollo,_ _  
_ _Tarry, and turn thee, sweet nymph, stay,_ _  
_ _Lion or tiger, doth thee follow_ _  
_ _Turn thy fair eyes and look this way._ _  
_ _O turn, O pretty sweet_ _  
_ _And let our red lips meet:_ _  
_ _Pity, O Daphne, pity, pity,_ _  
_ _Pity, O Daphne, pity me._ ”

 

As I look down, I see all sorts of people.  I see couples taking a walk. Older ladies with their daughters or sons.  Many Elven servants are running around watering plants, trimming hedges, serving drinks, or cutting off flowers at the requests of nobles.  I see a flurry of colors, mostly dark colors like a deep blue or red, sometimes even orange or purple. I keep expecting people to be wearing tall and powdered wigs, tight stockings, pants that go to the knee, large dresses that stick out at the hips, but this isn’t Versailles.  It looks like a carbon copy, from what I’ve seen from pictures. But all the people here look like they’re from the fourteen hundreds. _It’s almost jarring, in a way._

 

“ _She gave no ear unto his cry,_ _  
_ _But still did neglect him the more he did moan;_ _  
_ _Though he did entreat, she still did deny,_ _  
_ _And earnestly prayed him to leave her alone._ ”

 

The garden is shaped like a large rectangle, with winding paths snaking around, filled with hedges, roses, all sorts of flowers.  I can see some benches intermittently placed around. From this upper view, it almost reminds me of playing ‘Zoo Tycoon’ as a kid. _  
_

“ _Never, never, cried Apollo,_ _  
_ _Unless to love thou wilt consent,_ _  
_ _And still, with my voice so hollow,_ _  
_ _I'll cry to thee while life be spent._ _  
_ _But prove if thou turn to me,_ _  
_ _For certes, thy felicity._ _  
_ _Pity, O Daphne, pity, pity,_ _  
_ _Pity, O Daphne, pity me._ ”

 

I see most people in the middle, conglomerated in the center, talking or gossiping.  As I scan around, on the left edge, sitting on a bench, is a familiar looking head of hair.  It’s black and short, curling around his ears. It’s a child dressed in a burgundy outfit, the color a stark contrast to the green around him.  He sits on a stone bench, kicking his legs as he reads a thick looking tome. _That’s gotta be Kieran!  That has to be! Does that mean he’s staying here?  Is Morrigan nearby? Should I go talk to him? Or do I wait for him to come to Skyhold?  He doesn’t look like he’ll be there for long, and I don’t know if I’ll get the chance to at least introduce myself.  Fuck it, life is short, I’m going to say hi to my son!_  I quickly yank out my earbuds and start speed walking to find the stairs down to the gardens.

 

When I finally get down to where I saw Kieran, I don’t see him.  The tome still sits on the bench, closed. He’s got to be nearby, I doubt he’d leave a book like that out in the open.  I start to glance around for a glimpse of him, but I see nothing. I can see the sunlight shine brightly, butterflies flitting about some roses in the distance.  I start to take a step forward, gravel crunching under my purple flat, when all of a sudden, there’s a tug of the back of my skirt. I slowly turn around to not hit whoever’s back there with my hair, to notice a certain someone upon glancing down.

“Hi there.”  I smile at Kieran and wave a little.  I see his face light up as he gazes at me in awe.  Just like a little kid meeting a character at Disney, I guess.

“You’re the Inquisitor!”  He blurts out as he stares at me.  I have to try not to blink in surprise. _I didn’t know he already knew who I was._  He kind of tilts his head in confusion as he looks at me with big, green eyes.  “I didn’t know you were a mage. And Mother said you’d be scarier. You’re not scary at all.  You’re really pretty.” He says in the kind of slow pattern he had from the game. He fiddles with his hands a lot like he doesn’t know quite what to do.  I kind of chuckle at his words as I crouch down to be more eye level with him.

“Aw, thank you.  My name’s Catherine, what’s yours?”

“Mother named me Kieran.”  I nod along.

“That’s a nice name.  How come your mom said I was scary?”  I ask, Rapunzel's voice still seems a little strange saying what I want to say.  Kieran frowns a little in thought before speaking. _It’s odd, though.  He seems so… normal.  I swear I made Old God Kieran._

“People fear the unknown if it comes too soon.”   _Ah, there it is._  “And it would be worse if you couldn’t touch magic at all.  Like being blind. Do you really come from somewhere else?” He asks, switching from cryptic to innocent on a dime.  I nod in response.

“Yes, I do.  I got summoned here by magic while I was sleeping.”  He nods a little bit, like that makes sense. “Was it the hair that gave me away?”  Now he shakes his head back and forth, his hair barely moving as he does.

“No, there’s a very old power that clings to you.  I saw it right away. It gives you strange powers.”  I hold up my hand with the Anchor for him to see.

“You mean this?”  Again, Kieran shakes his head.

 

“No, it’s on your soul. Your soul is a different pattern from everyone, but the magic makes you shiny.”  He pauses, looking at my face for a moment. “It’s really pretty. I wish more people were like that.” I can’t help but smile at him.  He’s honestly really cute, even if he spits out some odd stuff. But, I guess that’s kinda my fault because I made that decision. Poor kid…

“So, who is your mom, exactly?”  His face lights up again with adoration.

“Mother is the inheritor, the one who awaits the next age.”  He then adds proudly and excitedly: “She’s the Witch of the Wilds!”  I let my face take on a surprised look.

“Whoa, your mom must be really powerful, huh?”  Kieran starts to nod emphatically with a huge smile on his face.

“Yes!  She’s very wise.  She’s helping me learn to control myself.”  In a split second, Kieran decides to hug me.  I’m a little shocked, but I hug him back, waiting for when he releases his hold around me.  Kieran now shyly looks down and brushes his foot back and forth.

“I don’t know why the people here are scared of you.  Most people are scared of me, too. You’re a very nice lady.”

 

“Kieran?”  Comes a familiar voice from behind me, in a worried tone.  “Are you bothering this woman?” I quickly stand up and turn around.  Kieran quickly skirts around me and hugs Morrigan’s skirt. _There she is.  In the flesh. Right there.  She’s wearing her apostate outfit, but with a corset-like thing underneath her maroon hood thing.  Her skirt gleams in the sunlight. By her face, she looks a little older. Her hair hands in the same updo, but a little looser than Origins.  She’s wearing less makeup._  Kieran shakes his head as he tugs on her skirt and points at my right hand.

“I met the Inquisitor!  She’s very nice. Did you see what’s on her hand?”  Morrigan’s eyebrows shoot upward as she looks me over.

“I- The Inquisi-  what?” As she notices the Anchor, it flashes green for a second or two.  “You are the new Inquisitor?” She finally asks in bewilderment. I nod to her.

“That’s me!  Nice to meet you.  You’re Kieran’s mom?”  She glances down and smiles warmly at her son.

“Yes, I am Morrigan.  Kieran,” She says, “It is time to return to your studies, little man.”  I hear Kieran audibly frown and he pouts up at her.

“But-”  Morrigan gives him ‘ **The Look’** and he quickly gives up and returns to the book he was reading.  Now, my old friend turns to me and motions me to join her.

“If you would indulge me, I have been most curious about the word the follows your name, Inquisitor.  Would you join me?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The court dance I described is a line dance from the Baroque period, not the Renaissance that Dragon Age is most similar too. Mostly, because the one medieval dance I could find from that time period had a lot of jumping and didn't seem very 'Orleasen', so I smudged it by a few hundred years.  
> Also, the song is 'Daphne' by Owain Phyfe from the album 'Where Beauty Moves and Wit Delights' because I am a huge, gigantic, nerd.


	56. Halamshiral

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is mostly Halamshiral introductions. The meat of the quest comes next chapter, maybe two, not sure. I want to take my time with this section.

“I became a shapeshifter after years of studying the different creatures that roamed the Wilds.”  Morrigan imparts as we stroll down a secluded area of the garden. “Yet, ‘tis rather an odd thing to learn by accident.  Let alone without any former use of magic, as you have said. But to only change into another of your own shape is… most peculiar, indeed.”  My dress swishes as we walk. Morrigan has spent the first five minutes with me confirming the rumors she’d heard about me; namely A: That I’m a mage.  And B: That I can shapeshift. What threw her off is that I can only do other humans- not animals like her.  _ But I do remember a dialogue option in Origins about that, so it’s not too surprising. _

“Have you ever had any thought to attempt an animal form?”  She asks. The question makes me stop, frowning to myself.  _ Come to think of it, I never have, have I?  It never occurred to me… Period. _  The Chasind witch picks up on my silence and hums in confirmation.  “I had thought as much.”

“So how do you become an animal?”   _ That sounds like it’d be useful.  I could hide a lot easier as a cat, or scale walls as a spider, get into small places, bark at people. _  I see a new twinkle in Morrigan’s eye as she starts explaining her craft.

“The form of an animal is different from my own.  One may study the creature, learn to move as it does, think as it does.  In time, it allows one to become as it is.” 

 

_ Holy shit I could become a dinosaur!  I could turn into a Velociraptor and bite people!  I could fight dragons as a Tyrannosaurus Rex! I could just walk up and eat Corypheus and be done with it! _

“Can you teach me?!”  I ask a little too excitedly, causing Morrigan to look bewildered for a moment.  She frowns to herself as she searches her mind for an answer.

“Since you have the ability to transform into others, one could assume with proper concentration and knowledge of an animal, you may be able to perform the spell, Inquisitor.”   _ Hey, I know a lot about Raptors!  I could do it! _  Quickly, I stop walking and squeeze my eyes shut, my tongue out in concentration, trying to pose in a similar position to a velociraptor.  I stand on the balls of my feet and bend my knees a little, my arms at my sides with my palms flat and facing me. I try to imagine a tail to balance with, feathers on my forearm, large claws on my toes and hands.   _ I’m a dinosaur, I’m a dinosaur, I’m a dinosaur, I’m a dinosaur…   _ I keep chanting to myself, hoping it will work.  But after I hear Morrigan give a cough, I crack an eye open only to find it’s just me, as Rapunzel, standing in a ridiculous pose.

“Aaaawww…”  I can’t hide my disappointment.  “I wanted to be a dinosaur…!” As I relax myself back to standing, I can see Morrigan with a glimmer of a smirk on the corner of her mouth.

“Kieran reacted the same when he attempted many moons ago.  The spell took me many years to learn, a skill taught by my Mother.  If you wish, Inquisitor, perhaps when the Ball is over and the Empress is safe, I could offer my teachings to you when time will allow.”  I eagerly grin and nod rapidly like a kid who was asked if they wanted a puppy for Christmas. Morrigan gives a respectful nod and a slight curtsy before turning to leave.  “I have enjoyed meeting you, Inquisitor. We shall meet again, surely.”

* * *

 

“The political situation in Halamshiral hangs by a thread.  The Empress fears our presence could sever it.” Josephine says while brushing Rapunzel’s long hair as she helps me get ready for the Ball, also using the time to brief me one last time.  I’ve made slight changes to my appearance for the event tonight. One major thing is the length of my hair. While Rapunzel’s hair was said to be at least seventy feet by the animators, I’ve altered it to be about level with the hem of my skirt.  I don’t want to trip on my own hair or have it be a problem while walking around. 

The second is my dress.  Instead of the normal purple dress she wears, I’ve changed into the dress from the Designer Fairytale collection.  The skirt is wider and flares out more at my feet. The colors are a much deeper purple than she originally wore. The layer under the main skirt is a lighter purple, with the same shade on a layer above it.  This top layer has a bunch of little flowers embroidered on the front. The bodice is laced with a dark purple string. The striped purple sleeves have a lavender cloth attached that flares on my arms. It all makes me feel lighter somehow like I’m walking on air.  Of course, I’m still giddy whenever I look in the mirror and see one of my favorite princesses staring back at me. While I patiently wait for Josie to continue, I kick my feet absentmindedly back and forth.

“The Grand Duke is only too happy to have us at the ball as his guests, so the invitation comes from him.  Whether we act as his allies or upset the balance of power, he gains an opportunity… If not a clear advantage.  I have also heard word he intends to win you over tonight so he may better claim the throne and use your influence as a way to make himself legitimate in the eyes of Thedas with a marriage.  So do not be surprised if he brings the subject up on the dancefloor.” I nod along meekly, praying I don’t have to go through this whole marriage crap again, but from the looks of it, I don’t have a choice.  Now Josie stops brushing my hair and locks eyes with me in the mirror, a serious look on her face.

“I must warn you before we enter the palace:  How you speak to the court is a matter of life and death.  This is not to be taken lightly and is no simple matter of protocol or etiquette.  Every word, every gesture is measured and evaluated for weakness.” She gently places her hands on my shoulders.  “The Game is like Wicked Grace played to the death. You must never reveal your cards. When you meet the Empress, the eyes of the full royal court of Orlais will be upon you.  As a mage and an outsider, you will be held with suspicion and will have to work to prove yourself.” She pauses before glancing down briefly.

“You were safer in the Fade staring down the Fear demon.”  The one thing I have going for me is when I played this on my first try, I cleared it with one-hundred percent court approval as a Dalish elf.  I remember reading some people said it was hard, but when I played it was surprisingly easy for me.  _ I just hope it’ll be as easy for me in real life. _  “There is one more thing I must add,”  Josephine says, walking over to a table and bringing over a note.

“Empress Celene’s fascination with the occult has also made her quite interested in you, Inquisitor, ever since word of your true home reached her ears.  She has requested- and this means you must- that you perform something related to your world for the court.” I whirl around in shock to my Ambassador with eyes probably as wide as buffet plates.

 

“Perform what?  When?”  _ I don’t think she’d want me to stand up a do a monologue, would she? _

“Something such as singing or a dance, perhaps some poetry, if you’re daring.  What this performance is for is both to entertain the court and see if you can impress her Majesty.  It is likely she shall ask you to do so before the peace talks, but other than that it is up to her Majesty's whim.”  I frown in confusion as I stand and take a look at the note.

“What am I?  Some kind of Jester?”  I see a hint of a sad smile on her face.

“It would be safer if you were.”

* * *

 

“Ah, Madame Inquisitor Hawking.  It is an honor to meet you at last!”  The Grand Duke Gaspard greets as he walks toward my advisors and I with a sweeping gesture of open arms.  He wears a black military doublet with a purple sash in a similar color to my skirt. He wears silver pauldrons and gauntlets embossed with a golden lion’s head on the shoulder.  His sash is tucked into a leather belt, and a brown fur on his shoulder. His golden mask is the same color as a regal necklace he wears. I almost feel like I’m staring at someone from the court of Louis the Sun King.  As soon as the older man is an arm’s length away, as Josie has instructed I do with all the potential suitors I’m going to meet this evening, I extend my hand to him. I had half a mind to rebuff him, but at Josie’s staring, I have to.  Gaspard, who is much older than I am, kisses my knuckles in that stupid European noble tradition. It takes everything I have not to curl my fist in revolution and yank my hand away. 

“The rumors out of the Western Approach say you battled an army of demons.  Such a feat for a lady such as yourself.” He compliments- or smooshes me more like- or is he making small talk?  “Imagine what the Inquisition could accomplish with the full support of the rightful Emperor of Orlais!” I almost snort in response.  But I know what to do here, just string him along. Make him think I support him and then make Celene stay Empress because no one will let me dethrone every ruling power in Orlais and make Briala the President.  I give him a coy smile and dip into a deep curtsy.

“I can see many benefits to such an alliance,”  I respond as I straighten.

“Keep the image firmly in mind.”  He says with an approving nod, his hands folded behind his back.  “We may see it materialize by the end of this evening. I am not a man who forgets his friends, Inquisitor.  If you help me, I shall return the favor.” Now, he extends his arm, waiting to take mine. Josie explained this as he’d probably want to escort me personally inside, to get the full effect of just who his special guest is/ possible fiance on the court.  Begrudgingly, and trying not to let it show, I let my arm go around his, hating every second I touch him.  _  I want to curl up into a ball and die. _

“Prepared to shock the assembly by appearing as the guest of a hateful usurper, my lady?”  He asks, nodding to shocked French nobles as we pass by. I see a group of them huddle by a fountain and can barely hear them whispering over the water.

“Is that the Inquisitor?”

“That little thing?  Is she truly a mage?”

“I thought she was a demon!”

“Nonsense!  But the rumors of her are most odd.”  
“No wonder the Empress is ecstatic about her.  Just like that… witch or that exotic ebony mage she keeps as pets.”  The way they talk about my friends makes my blood boil. I have half a mind to flip them off, but I can’t.  It hurts the way they talk about Viv and Morrigan. I guess this just means Viv is all the more admirable for making it to the top in this kind of society.   _But seriously I just want to set all of Orlais on fire right about now!_  But instead of enacting my revenge plot on all of France, I smile and nod at Gaspard’s comment.

“They will be telling stories of this into the next age!”

“Will the court have seen anything better?”  I ask, only making him laugh in approval.  _ Fuck, I need to get him to hate me!  I don’t want him to approve! Make him go away! _

“I knew we would get along famously, my lady.”   _ I will pluck out your eyeballs and feed them to Barkspawn! _  “As a friend, perhaps there is a matter you’d be willing to undertake this evening.  This elven woman- Briala-” He mentions, and it takes every ounce of composure not to squeal in delight.   _ I always liked Briala.  She seemed cool. _

“I suspect she intends to disrupt tonight’s negotiations.  My people have found these ‘Ambassadors’ all over the fortifications.  Sabotage seems to be the least of their crimes.”  _ As they should, considering ‘your people’ burn alienages as a graduation hazing ritual and kill elves for sport! _

“I’ll look into it.”  I say, trying not to sound disinterested as he leads us slowly up the stairs.

“This ‘Ambassador’, Briala, used to be a servant of Celene’s.  That is, until my cousin had her arrested for crimes against the Empire to cover up a political mistake.  If anyone here tonight wishes Celene harm- it’s that elf. Be as discreet as possible. I detest The Game, but if we do not play it well, our enemies will make us villains.”  Then Gaspard shakes his head as if to free himself of the dismal tone. “But we’re keeping the court waiting. Shall we, Inquisitor?” He asks in a more jovial tone as we sweep past the gates and into the Winter Palace.

 

As we enter the main ballroom, the murmur of conversation becomes louder from all the people around us.  In-between skirts and hats I can see the black and red uniforms Josie had everyone wear. Judging by the fact I'm looking to the right, I’m probably seeing Cullen or Leliana.  There’s a waft of music coming from the floor. I can hear flutes, but it’s a little faint. Almost like a spa or elevator music rather than a medieval band. At the signal of the announcer, Gaspard finally leaves me to be introduced to the Court.  I’m not left with my advisors and companions, waiting to be called out like I’m awaiting the world’s weirdest graduation ceremony.

“And now presenting:”  The man with the large scroll reads aloud,  “Grand Duke Gaspard de Chalons.” At the mention of his name, the entire court goes silent.  The murmurs die down to change to hushed whispers. The music stops short. It’s now incredibly eerie in here. 

“And accompanying him… Lady Inquisitor Hawking of Michigan.  Vanquisher of the Rebel Mages, Sealer of the Breach, Herald to Andraste, and Otherworldly Traveler.”   _ Dang, I didn’t know I had that many titles attached to my name… _  Carefully, I hold my dress and slowly walk down the stairs, praying I don’t trip and fall.  My shoes almost sound like the only noise in here, the clicks of my heels echoing around. When I reach the first landing, I can see the Empress in her deep blue dress.  Her golden wings? Headdress? The gold thingy behind her sticks out, almost like a fan or halo. She bends rigidly at the waist in acknowledgment to me, and I curtsy, like I’m supposed to.  Meanwhile, I can hear all the companions commenting from above me, bickering like a tech crew in the wings.

“This guy writes better fiction that I do.”  I can hear Varric scoff.

“This twit’s so full of rubbish!  That’s not how it went!” Sera hisses.  I next hear Viv lightly wack her on the head with her fan.  I briefly glance back but quickly turn away after remembering I’m not supposed to let my eyes wander.

“Remember to smile, my dear.  This is all for show.” Vivienne reminds me.   _ Oh, right, smiling, duh! _  Finally, my companions start to be announced and I can start walking down the ballroom, slowly, to Gaspard.

“Accompanying the Inquisitor:  Seeker Cassandra Allegra Portia Calogera Filomena-”  

“Get on with it!”  Cass snaps as she walks down the steps.

“-Pentaghast.”   _ There should be a Motherfuckin before that. _  “Fourteenth cousin to the King of Nevarra, nine times removed.  The Hero of Orlais and Right Hand to Divine Beatrix III and Justinia V.”  Cassandra is now at my side, nodding to me to start walking.

“Renowned author, Varric Tethras.  Head of Noble House Tethras, Deshyr of Kirkwall to the Dwarven Merchants Guild.  The Lady Inquisitor’s Elven Fade advisor, Solas. Her Ladyship-” I can almost hear him squinting at the writing before continuing.  “Mai Bhalsych of Korse.” I have to bite my cheek to keep myself from snickering as Sera grins at the rest of us.

“Madame Vivienne, First Enchanter of the Imperial Court, Mistress of the Duke of Ghislain.  Warden Blackwall of Val Chevin, constable of the Grey. Bearer of the Silverite Wings of Valor.  The Iron Bull, leader of the famed mercenary company Bull’s Chargers. As the name might imply. Lord Dorian Pavus, member of the Circle of Vyrantium, son of Lord Magister Halward Pavus of Asariel.  And,” He pauses for dramatic effect, probably to give him some breathing space. “Cole.” 

 

Finally, after all that, my companions are introduced.  That took longer than I thought. No wonder the game only lets you bring three people.  But he hasn’t even gotten to the advisors yet…

“Ser Cullen Stanton Rutherford of Honnleath. Commander of the forces of the Inquisition. Former Knight-Captain of Kirkwall.  Lady Leliana, Nightingale of the Imperial Court. Veteran of the Fifth Blight. Seneschal of the Inquisition and Left Hand of the Divine.  And Lady Josephine Cherette Montilyet of Antiva City, Ambassador of the Inquisition.”

 

After what seemed like forever, Gaspard, I, and my advisors finally reach the landing under the Empress and Gaspard’s sister.

“Cousin.  My dear Sister.”  He greets in a cool tone with a deep bow.  Celene responds with a rigid curtsy, not moving her entire upper body, her arms bent at the elbows.

“Grand Duke.  We are always honored when your presence graces our Court.”

“Don’t waste my time with pleasantries, Celene.”  He spits back, echoing my thoughts. “We have business to discuss.”  Celene’s pleasant image and smile do not falter. She gives a slight nod and raises her hands in a strange fashion, her right held across her chest, her left the same, but rotated the opposite way.

“We will meet for negotiations after we have seen to our other guests.”  Gaspard gives a bow to both Celene and I.

“Inquisitor,”  He quickly strides off up the stairs to who knows where.  Now, I’m left alone in front of an Empress and her would-be-assassin.  Florianne hasn’t said a peep, just sitting there trying to look unimportant.  I can see her eyeing me, but that’s about it. I curtsy to the both of them.

“Lady Inquisitor, we welcome you to the Winter Palace.  Allow us to present the Grand Duchess of Lydes, without whom this gathering would not have been possible.”  Florianne gives a curtsy with a bow thrown in, in the same stilted manner as everyone else.

“What an unexpected pleasure.  I was not aware the Inquisition would be part of the festivities.”  She sounds pleased, but since I’ve already been through this and know her true purpose, I can hear the annoyance and disgust behind her words.  “We will certainly speak later, Inquisitor.” Celene, meanwhile, seems to be watching me with an excited look behind her mask.

 

“Your arrival at Court is like a cool wind on a summer’s day.  We are most looking forward to what you shall choose to present for us this evening.”  I smile and nod to Celene, giving a light curtsy.

“I can only hope I live up to Your Grace’s expectations.”  I see a pleased smile flash on her face.  _ Is this good? _

“And how do you find Halamshiral?”

“I’ve honestly never seen anything so elegant or grand in all my life, your Majesty.  I don’t think I’d be able to do such a beauty justice with mere words.” Now the Empress gives a light laugh.

“Your modesty does you credit, and speaks well for the Inquisition.  Feel free to enjoy the pleasantries of the ballroom, Lady Inquisitor.  We look forward to watching you dance.” I curtsy and do my best to not hurry up the stairs to my escape.

 

The second I set foot on the balcony on the edge of the ballroom, I hear someone- probably Celene- clap their hands to start the music back up.  I’m unsure if people are making their way to the dancefloor or standing around gossiping. I can see many lords and ladies around me as I slowly walk down the aisle to make my way to Leliana.  I’ve got to take a long way around, since the north end of the rectangle is being used for the peace talks, and no one may approach Celene without her permission. I try not to glance upward at the tall, gilded columns that extend up to the ceiling.  I can almost feel my knees buckle when my eyes betray me. I smile to myself and keep walking along. Suddenly, there’s a flurry of movement out of the corner of my left eye that catches my attention.

“Josephine!  Josephine!” A younger voice in a familiar accent says, tugging on Josie’s sleeve at my passing.  “Is this her?” I quickly stop, seeing my Ambassador motion for me to join them.

“Catherine, please allow me to present my younger sister, Yvette Gabriella Montilyet.”  Yvette seems to be around my age, and is taller than I am, almost at Josie’s height. She wears a frilly ball gown with a green corset and round sleeves, withcream-coloredred skirt and long sleeves down her arms.  She’s wearing a silver mask covering the top of her face and a headdress that reminds me of a turban. I give a friendly smile and wave my hand.

“Hi, Yvette.  It’s nice to meet you!”   _ Maybe because she’s close to my age that I’m feeling more casual with her. _  She giggles at my response, her mask fluttering in front of her face.   _ I don’t get it.  Was what I said funny? _

“Inquisitor!  I’ve heard so much about you.  But not as much as I want. Josephine writes, but she never  _ tells _ me anything.”  She adds, glancing at her sister in what I assume is an annoyed look.  “Is it true the mages in Redcliffe were performing blood rites and orgies before you stopped them?”  At the mention of orgies, my face goes beet red. I swear my mouth has become smaller, because all I can mangane is a little ‘Oh?’ sound.  I almost wish I could borrow Yvette’s fan to hide my face. Josephine, meanwhile, just rolls with the punches.

“Where did you hear such nonsense?”

“Everyone in Antiva says so!  Is it true?” I rapidly shake my head back and forth at her question.  Yvette only pouts at this, exaggeratedly, while Josie sighs at her sister’s behavior.  I quickly cough to try and get myself normal again.

“So, Yvette, Josie told me you’re studying painting?  How’s that going?” She smiles broadly and starts waving her fan slowly and in broad strokes.

“She would forget to mention the artist.  I have been studying painting under Antiva’s royal tutors!”  I nod along excitedly.

“That’s really cool!”  She beams as she turns to her sister.

“You should be proud, Josie.  I’m going to be exhibiting my work next season at the city’s biggest salon.”  Josephine just shifts her weight onto one leg and places one finger on her chin.

“Have you actually sat down and finished a painting yet?”  Yvette scoffs at the notion.

“I must wait for my inspiration!”  If Josie could roll her eyes, she would, no doubt.

“And I must wait for your tutors bills.”

 

“Do you have any stories about Josie I should know?”  Yvette’s face lights up like a Christmas tree.

“Oh!  Did she tell you about the time when she was ten and-”

“Yvette, stop.”  Josie quickly cuts in.

“Fine.  What about when we were climbing the cliffs by the-”

“No.”

“She once told the Duke of-”

“Absolutely not.”   _ I like this back and forth they have.  While they seem annoyed with each other slightly, they do love each other.  ...Wish I had siblings like Josie. Maybe I can get her parents to adopt me? _  Yvette thinks for a moment before quickly blurting out:

“She still plays with her doll collection when she thinks no one is looking!”  Josie’s face twists in embarrassment.

“Yvette!”  She almost takes her sister’s fan.  “That is… absolutely preposterous!” Both Yvette and I start snickering.   _ I think I like Yvette.  Maybe we could get along? _  I smile and give  a little curtsy to both of them.

“I’m afraid I gotta get going now, lots of people to greet!  It was nice meeting you, Yvette!” She returns my smile and wave.

“Another time!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yvette is hilarious and I love her. And dinosaur Catherine will happen one day, like, after the Mythal questline. I've got this planned out, I just gotta sit down and write it!


	57. On a Bright Cloud of Music, Shall We Fly?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter's a longer one, but the Winter Palace will be done with next chapter! Who's Catherine going to pick for Orlais throne? What kind of outcome will there be?
> 
> Also, a huge thank you to Isilzha for correcting my French during the song at the end

“...The best place to strike at Celene is at her side.”  Leliana informs me as soon as I approach her. She leads me out to a balcony so the patrons on the dancefloor don’t overhear us.  “The Empress is fascinated by mysticism- foreseeing the future, speaking with the dead, that sort of rubbish. It’s why she’s ‘requested’ you to showcase your culture for us.  She also has an occult ‘advisor’... an apos-”

“It’s not Morrigan.”  I cut her off. I see Leliana’s eyebrows narrow in suspicion ever so slightly.

“And just what makes you so sure of this?  You have dealt with Morrigan in the past as I have.  She is ruthless-” I wave her off.

“You just need to get to know her, she’s alright.  But think about it. The best place is to strike at her side.  So where is Morrigan now?” I point to where Celene sits at a small table, drinking tea.  From where Leliana and I stand, if we look hard we can spot her from back here. “And who’s been hovering at Celene’s side all night?  Who’s idea was it to put on the ball?” I see my Spymaster’s eyes flick to Florianne, who’s entertaining some noblemen, laughing at a joke.

“It’s the perfect cover no one suspects.  And doesn’t it make sense someone so close to Celene would kill her?  No one suspects her cousin. If I were an assassin, I’d want to stick close to my target all night and have their trust.  She can strike whenever she wants.” Leliana slowly nods along at my explanation.

“Do you know when the Grand Duchess will strike?”  I nod my head.

“Just before the peace talks, when Celene makes a speech, that’s when.  We’ll have to play along until just before. It’s the only way to get the court on our side and get sufficient evidence against her.”  Now Leliana slowly strides back into the ballroom, the noise increases as we go. The lights overhead are a hazy yellow, almost like a lens filter of some kind.  My dress swishes subtly as I walk, my long hair thankfully off the floor.

“In that case, I would recommend you start investigating in the guest wing.  I’ll coordinate with our spies to see if I can find anything else. I shall be here if you have need of me.”

 

* * *

 

The second I get done following the elven servant's word on where that cylinder with the schedule was placed, I find myself lost at what to do.  I don’t need to go to the library to get info on Morrigan. I already know- it seems silly. But I can’t remember what comes next. I remember running around the servant's quarters and saving Briala.   _I guess this means I gotta start rounding up some of my crew._  

The second my heels click onto the tile of the outside garden, a warm summer hair hits my face.  The light from the doorway illuminates the deck around me. There are colorful lanterns and string lights around us to hide the fact it’s late at night here.  With the party atmosphere, I almost want to find the snack table, but that’s over by Bull, and it had nothing I wanted. If I remember right, this is where the back entrance to the library is, which means Dorian should be-

“My lady!  My Lady Inquisitor!”  I slowly turn around to find three women dressed in the same cream and green dress, same mask, and same hat.   _These are the Empress’ messengers, right?_  The first one curtsies as soon as she has my attention.  The second one does so as well before speaking, followed by the third.

“May we have a word?  It is very important.”

“The Empress has sent us with a message for you.”   _Do they always speak in that order?  Like creepy doll triplets? Is this all because Celene likes the occult?  Or is it to mess with people? Freaky… If they ask me to come play with them, I’m running for Bull._

“I’m honored Her Majesty wishes to speak with me.”

“Oh!  She is the honored one, Inquisitor!”  The first one, on the far right, laughs as she speaks.

“Empress Celene is eager to assist the Herald of Andraste in her most holy endeavor.”

“She will pledge her full support as soon as the Usurper Gaspard is defeated.”

“That’s a…”  I fumble a bit with my words, trying to concentrate on Rapunzel's voice so it comes out right.  “-Gracious offer.” I’m only a little thrown off when the girl in the middle speaks again instead of going back to the right.

“The Empress believes wholeheartedly that the Inquisition is the best hope for peace in these difficult times.”

“She looks forward to cementing a formal alliance-”  Says the girl on the right.

“As soon as Gaspard is out of the way.”  Finishes the girl on the left. Now the girl in the center speaks next, on a different topic.

“Her Majesty is also curious as to what you will be doing for your performance, Inquisitor.”

 

I fumble at the question.  Josie did tell me earlier, but I never gave it much thought.  I guess I have to choose now. _I can’t dance well- the only ‘solo’ dance I could remember would be the one from when I was in the chorus in my High School’s production of ‘Hairspray’.  And after I did that I vowed to never do a pony again. The only poetry I remember is a lewd Shakespeare sonnet. That wouldn’t do well. I guess all that’s left is singing.  And since I’m a Disney Princess, it only makes sense to sing Disney, right? Besides, go with what you know!_

“I will be performing a popular song from my country for you all this evening..”  They all clap and nod.

“Excellent!”

“Her Majesty will be most pleased!”  Now they all stop and curtsy again.

“But we have taken up enough of your time.”  The middle one states before they all say:

“Inquisitor.”  And take their leave back to the Empress.  As I stand there on my own, I glance upward at the upper balconies- where I need to go.  There’s a large crowd standing near the wall. _There’s no way I’d be able to climb that without drawing a lot of attention.  I know in the game you get less points the more you dally, but I imagine climbing the wall in the middle of a party would do something too.  I’ll either need to find another way- which is unlikely- or I’ll have to get them to move somehow._

 

As I make my way into the crowd, I spot Dorian in the black Inquisition uniform, who raises his wine glass in my direction upon seeing me.  As soon as I approach him, he begins talking.

“This is all so familiar.  I half expect my mother to materialize from the crowd and criticize my manners.”  He chuckles. I laugh along with him.

“What’s the word on the street, cuz?”  He gives a playful shrug and gestures to the ladies around us, all gossiping.

“Other than the overabundance of lavender perfume?”  I have to keep my hand over my mouth to keep myself from giggling too loud.  I don’t want people paying me the wrong kind of attention.

“Is this how parties in Tevinter are?”

“Oh yes,”  Dorian nods.  “The same double-dealing, elegant poison, canapes… It’s lacking only a few sacrificial slaves and blood magic.  But the night is still young.” _Hooray!  We’re saved!_

“Listen,”  I add, bringing my voice down a touch and knocking my head to the side, indicating the trellis to the library.  “I need to climb that thing, but I don’t want to draw attention to myself. In this dress, that’s bound to happen.  Think you could do me a solid and distract them for me?” Dorian thinks for a minute before replying.

“Get me ten silk scarves and I’ve got something that’ll really shock them.”  I make a face at his joke.

“I ain’t got time fo fetch quests!”  I hiss. He only laughs, setting his wine glass on a passing tray and giving me a wink before walking into the center of the garden.

 

"Mesdames et Messieurs!"  He calls out with the volume of an MC and the bravado of a performer.  “May I have your attention!” Almost as soon as he claps his hands, he already has a crowd starting to form around him.  The group nearby the gate I need to climb has started to move up the garden. _Good, I should be able to get in without causing too much a deduction in my approval.  Time to start climbing…_

 

* * *

 

The second my shoes hit the ground, the bell starts ringing, summoning us back to the ballroom.   _Fuck yeah, I nailed it!_  As the sea of people starts moving to the doors, I see Dorian hanging back for me.

“So, how’d it go?”  He asks as I hurry my little legs so I’m not late AF.

“Good.  Did what I needed to do.  Thanks for your help, I really appreciate it.”  “Listen, I gotta book it, I’ll grab you if I need you again, bro.”  He smiles, pleased.

“I’ll be here.”

 

As soon as my hand touches the doorknob, I hear a pair of heels descend the steps and a familiar voice with them.  A voice I’d heard only yesterday.

“Well, well, what have we here?”  I can’t help but smile as I watch Morrigan descend the steps, her marron dress glittering in the candlelight.  I suppose my purple dress is as well, but right now it feels like she outclasses me. “The leader of the new Inquisition, fabled Herald of the faith.  Drawn from a world and delivered from the grasp of the Fade by the hand of blessed Andraste herself.” As soon as the witch reaches the landing, she places her hands on her hips, looking me over in my fancy get up.  I just stand there gawking like an overexcited idiot. I almost laugh at the ridiculousness of how I must look.

“What could bring such an exalted creature to the Imperial Court, I wonder?  Do even you know?”

“Nope!”  I say, a little too proudly.  “I just got lost and wound up here.  ...Kind of a running gag. Your dress looks really pretty, Morrigan.  It’s nice to see you again!” The Witch of the Wilds looks briefly stunned at the genuine compliment.

“I… thank you.  And you, I understand, have been very busy this evening.  Hunting in every dark corner of the palace. Am I correct to assume you and I hunt the same prey?”

“Yep yep!”  I reply, causing her to laugh quietly, before leading me next to a railing.

“Recently I found, and killed, an unwelcome guest within these very halls.  An agent of Tevinter. Therefore, as a friend of my son’s and an ally, I offer you this key found on the Tevinter’s body.  Where it leads, I cannot say. Yet if Celene is in danger, I cannot leave her side long enough to search. But you can.” I nod along.

It just clicked that in the servants quarters, it might not be so hard.   _Since I can shift, I could turn into an elf and no one would be the wiser.  Perfect!_

“I know what to do with the key.  It leads to the Servants Quarters.”

“The ambassador has eyes and ears everywhere.  Proceed with caution, young Inquisitor. Enemies abound, and not all of them allied with Tevinter.  What comes next will be most exciting.” _Haha, yeah.  Ohh yeah, exciting is a word that could describe this quest alright._

* * *

 

“Aw, crap!”  I shout as soon as we enter the Gardens from the Servant's Quarters, upon seeing a dead body.  I mean, I sort of knew he’d be there, but I’ll never get used to seeing dead people. Thankfully, Dorian, Cassandra, and Sera pick up the slack while the Inquisitor hides behind a trellis.   _At least I went back to Rapunzel’s regular clothes.  I couldn’t run around in that ballgown._

“What’s this fellow doing here?  He’s no servant, as far as I can see.”  Dorian notes. I remember seeing a dagger sticking in his back, but I forgot what it looks like.

“Why the frig is this tart here?  Seems a little… weird.” I hear Cassandra make a concerned tone as she probably examines the body.

“This is the crest of the Chalons.  Is Gaspard up to this?”

“Nah,”  I say loudly with my back to them.  “It’s his sister. Everyone overlooks her.  She’s trying to implicate her brother. I’ve had her pegged since we got here.  I just need evidence or something.” At that second, there’s a woman’s scream. I whip around with my frying pan at the ready.  There’s a couple Venatori led by some weird dude in white, chasing one of Briala’s people. Unfortunately, before we can get to her, she’s run down as she flees.  In a second, that Harlequin is able to jump onto the upper balcony, forcing us to give chase.

“You guys handle the Venatori!”  I shout as I start running for where I think the stairs might be.  “I handle that guy up there!” _At least, I hope I can.  I don’t have much confidence in myself in this area.  I always get lost here and run around in circles, losing court approval._

 

**TONK!**

The metallic echo my frying pan makes as it hits the back of a man’s head is loud in this open hallway.  As soon as the last Venatori attacking Briala goes down, I can lower my pan of doom. Briala walks to me slowly, her green dress even darker in this light, her eyes full of suspicion.  Her hair is a dark curled mass tied into a bun on the back of her head. Her skin is almost as dark too, nothing like in the game. _I remember hearing somewhere this is how she looked in one of the books.  Interesting how most characters follow their in-game models, but not Briala or Fiona.  Maybe because the books were written first about the characters?_

“Fancy meeting you here.”  She says in a French accent that, to me, sounds like she’s gargling marbles while she talks.  “Inquisitor Hawking. What a surprise. My reports said you were terribly odd. We haven’t been properly introduced, have we?”  She bends at the waist, her arms bent in front and behind her.

“I’m Ambassador Briala.”  I nod along deeply in reply.

“Uhh, so why take the title of Ambassador, exactly?  No one’s explained anything to me.” She gives a biting laugh, almost like a snort.

“I’d be shocked if they did.  If the nobility is going to treat elves as if we aren’t citizens, we may as well have the trappings of a foreign power.”  She then points at the bodies around us and my companions on the ground below us. She starts walking to the balcony and I quickly tail her.  “You cleaned this place out. It will take a month to get the Tevinter blood off the marble. I came down to save or avenge my missing people, but you’ve beaten me to it.”

 

As the elven woman turns around to face me, she gestures over her shoulder with a thumb.

“So, the Council of Heralds’ Emissary in the courtyard… that’s not your work is it?”  I quickly shake my head back and forth.

“He was like that when I got here.  I swear, I didn’t kill him.” Briala gives another laugh, short, with a slightly bitter edge.

“You seem to honest to partake in The Game like this.  You may have arrived with the Grand Duke, but you don’t seem to be doing his dirty work.  Or wrapped around his finger like he claims.” I make a face in disgust and shock, which only makes Briala nod in confirmation.  “I had thought it was just another boast from him. I knew he was up to something tonight, with his claims you were his ally and fiance, sneaking in Chevaliers, but killing a Council Emissary?  Bringing Tevinter assassins into the palace? Those are desperate acts. Gaspard must plan to strike tonight.” _I desperately want to tell her the truth, but Briala doesn’t know me at all.  She seems pretty hesitant with me, even after figuring me out. I doubt she’d believe me even if I told her.  It’s also not like I have the evidence to implicate Florianne at the moment either._

“I knew there was something about him that bothered me,”  I say instead. “Other than… well, all of him.”

“Never let your guard down around him.  He’s Orlesian. His mask is his smile.” She crosses her arms and looks me up and down for a few moments, her eyes narrowed and her body language projecting scrutiny.  “I misjudged you, Inquisitor.” She finally says, relaxing her arms.

“You might just be an ally worth having.  What could you do with an army of Elven spies at your disposal?  Think on it.” _I can’t say I’m not tempted.  But I also know what happens in the future with Solas.  I remember he’s somehow connected to her. He might be puppeteering her network or take it over in a few years.  And that combined with his spies in the Inquisition could be devastating when the time comes._

“You certainly know how to sell, don’t you, Ambassador?”  She smiles at my remark.

“I do, don’t I?  I know which way the wind is blowing.  I’d bet coin that you’ll be part of the peace talks before the night is over.  And if you happen to lean a little our way? It… could prove advantageous for both of us.”  Briala adds before parkouring down the balcony and out of my sight the second I glance back down at my companions.   _Is this how Commissioner Gordon feels?_

* * *

 

I’m able to make it back to the guest wing, change myself back into Rapunzel’s ball gown, fix my hair, and enter the ballroom just as the second bell rang.  Mentally, I’m whooping and hollering at the fact I didn’t get lost. _Nailed it!_  But just as I start to turn to make my way to Leliana, a certain someone steps in front of me.

“Inquisitor Hawking?”  I inwardly start swearing at the fact it’s the Grand Duchess, which means two things.  One: I have to dance in public. Two: I have to come up with witty, coy banter on my own.  Florianne wears a high collar that tapers down to become the lining on her bodice. The design in the back almost looks like a butterfly’s wings.  Her sleeves are loose, flowy, and white. The bodice itself is black and ruffled on the sides. As she bows to me, I can see parts of it sparkle in the light.   _Is it stones?  Sequins?_  “We met briefly.  I am Grand Duchess Florianne de Chalons.”  I can’t help but notice she looks older up close than when I saw her.  I thought she was, like, thirty tops. But here she seems in her forties or maybe fifties.

“Welcome to my party.”  I politely bow back to her as I think of what to say.

“I’m, uh…”   _Every word and gesture is measured for weakness, I have to act more confident!_ “Surprised your grace decided to greet me now.”

“This is Orlais, Inquisitor.  Nothing happens by accident.” She has a pleased look about her, almost like a lion ready to pounce. _Perhaps at my hesitation?  Does she think she has an advantage over me?_  “I believe tonight you and I are concerned over the actions of a… certain person.”   _Yeah, you._  Her white gown sways as she walks to the stairs.

“Dance with me.  Spies will not hear us on the dance floor.”   _I have no choice but to go along._  I smile at her, hoping I look convincing.

“Then shall we dance, your Grace?”  She smiles at the fact I’m going along with her.

“I’d be delighted, Inquisitor.”

 

As soon as we’re across from each other, the music starts up.  There’s flute or a pipe that starts out the melody with a drum beating a slow rhythm.  Then a harp joins in on the chords, with another fife or whatever playing the harmony. Florianne stands across from me in the line as each side bows to the other.  And as the dance begins, a familiar tune starts to play as a minstrel sings from an unknown place.

 

 _‘_ _Helas ma dame, celle que j'aime tant:_

_Souffrez que'alors vostre humble servant;_

_Vostre humble servant je serai toujours_

_Et tant que je vivrai, je n'aimerai que vous.’_

 

_Well damn!  Our songs overlap!  I mean, that sort of makes sense, since both ‘Once We Were’ and ‘Oh, Grey Warden’ are both melodies of folk songs from medieval times.  Thank god I know this song. I hopefully won’t screw up!_

“I have heard many a rumor you are from somewhere other than this world.  Tell me, how much do you know of our little war?” Florianne asks as we join two others to walk around in a circle, our hands overlapping in the center.  I pause while I think of something to say.

“What do you think I should know?”  We then switch the direction we’re moving in.

“My Brother and my dear Cousin have been at each other's throats for far too long.  It took great effort to arrange tonight’s negotiations. Yet one party would use this occasion for blackest treason.”  Now the two of us stand across from each other while the couple on our right joins hands and walks between us, back and forth.

“The security of the empire is at stake.  Neither one of us wishes to see it fall.” _Oh my god stop saying crap you don’t mean we both know you mean the opposite!_

“Is that truly what we both want, Lady Florianne?”  Hey, I might be getting the hang of this coy nonsense.  I swear I see her eyebrow quirk in curiosity.

 

_‘Hellas, beau sire, vous êstes bel et bon,_

_Sage et courtois et de noble maison._

_Et aussi favorisés qu'un trouvé mieux_

_Mais celle que je l'aime, je ne pourrai oublier.’_

 

“I hope we are of one mind in this.”  Now the two of us change places with the couple that walked between us, I now on the opposite side I was standing on.

“But it’s quite difficult to tell an ally from an enemy in this sea of elegance, isn’t it?”  We now take each other’s hands, as does the whole line, approaching each other, then backing away.

“I know you arrived as a guest of my brother, Gaspard, and have been everywhere in the palace…  You are a curiosity to many, Inquisitor… and a matter of concern to some.”

“But am I a curiosity or a concern to **you** , your Grace?”

 

_‘Hellas, ma dama, pences en vostre cas:_

_Entre nous deux aucun autra pour parler:_

_Certes non pas, et vous le savez bien._

_Allez vous en, car vous ne faictes rien.’_

 

Now I twirl under Florianne’s arm, her showing her superiority- and height- by taking the lead.  She seems… almost impressed with my response?

“A little of both, perhaps.  This evening is of great importance, Inquisitor.  I wonder what role you will play in it. Do you even yet know who is friend and who is foe?”  Florianne and the lady on my right take each other’s places before returning across from me. Then we start again going back and forth.  “Who in the court can be trusted?” Now the dance repeats, going all the way back to four people in a circle.

 

_‘Mon coeur soupire et se plaint tendrement,_

_car il ne peut trouver soulagement._

_Ne sais comment on me veut evité;_

_s'il est ainsi, je dois ailleurs chasser.’_

 

“I trust in the Inquisition, your Grace.  Every man is for himself in the Court.” I can see people on the balconies beginning to watch us.

“In the Winter Palace, everyone is alone.  I cannot have escaped your notice that certain parties are engaged in dangerous machinations tonight.”  I give an amused laugh.

“Isn’t that the national sport in Orlais?”  As we stand across from each other, getting closer and farther, she takes the time to lower her voice.

“You have little time.  The attack will come soon.  You must stop Gaspard before he strikes.  In the Royal Wing Garden, you will find the captain of my brother’s mercenaries.”

 

_‘Hellas, ma dame, et n'en serai-je point?_

_Certes beau sire, je ne le vous dis point._

_Servez a point: il vous sera mery._

_Hellas ma dame, de bon coeur vous mercy.’_

 

“He knows all Gaspard’s secrets.  I’m sure you can persuade him to be forthcoming.”  Finally, the song ends, and we all curtsy to one another before leaving for the stairs.

“We’ll see, won’t we?”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song being performed is 'Helas Madame'. It's an old court song in archaic French that might've been written by Henry VIII Tudor. The dance they're dancing isn't from the Renaissance period but borrowed from England's Regency era, specifically the 'Duke of Kent's Waltz' since the in-game dancing looked a little silly to me.


	58. Clouseau-ing It

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The final segment of the Winter Palace! Will Florianne end up dead in a box or alive? Will Celene remain in power? And what song will Catherine perform for the court? This chapter is a longer one 'cause I wanted to finish the quest with a nice bow instead of cutting it off and finishing the last little bit in another chapter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The chapter title comes from the fact I was listening to 'The Pink Panther' theme while writing the sneaky bit. I thought it was funny. It also sounds like 'Closing It'- sorta. So, it's a pun?

“You’ll be the talk of the court tonight,”  Josephine says as she greets me on the top of the stairs.  “You did well for your first time, Inquisitor. I’m glad your lessons- as last minute as they were- stuck.”  As the Ambassador leads me away from the stairway and to the side railings, the two other advisors join us.

“Were you _dancing_ with Duchess Florianne?”  Leliana asks in surprise as she swiftly walks to us.  Cullen is quick on her heels, as rigid as if he was in full armor.

“More importantly- what happened in the Servant's Quarters?  I heard there was fighting.” As he stands there, he folds his arms.  Josephine, meanwhile, starts fiddling with her hair in worry.

“I hope you have good news.  It appears the peace talks are crumbling.”

“Okay then,”  I pause before taking in a deep breath.  “So first off, there was a dead guy with a Chalons dagger in his back.  There are Venatori spies everywhere. Florianne is trying to implicate her brother.  She wants me to go to the Royal Wing to booby-trap me. Briala is awesome and I want to make her President of Orlais.  Uhh… oh! And Florianne made me dance with her.” They each frown slightly as they take in my words. Cullen and Josie seem more confused, but Leliana isn’t all that phased.

“And how would you dismantle the monarchy of Orlais by yourself?  The chaos it might cause would be no better than Corypheus.” The Spymistress muses.  I frown.

“I know, I know.  Still, wish I could do something drastic.  The longer I’m here the more I understand why revolutions happen.”  Cullen finally thinks of something to say, his arms still as folded and rigid.   _He seems pretty tense._

“Then the attack on the Empress _will_ happen tonight.”

“I mean, duh.”  Leliana pauses for a moment, a finger hovering on her chin.  When she looks up, her gaze is like ice.

“Perhaps we should let her die.”  Both Cullen and Josie are equally surprised.  I just shrug at the response. _I dislike both Celene and Gaspard for different reasons, but I can’t just make Briala fully in charge without giving Corphy what he wants.  I’ll need to figure out who to pick soon._  “Listen to me, what Corypheus wants is chaos.  Even with Celene alive, that could still happen.  To foil his plan, the Empire must remain strong. This evening, _someone_ must emerge victoriously.”

“And it doesn’t need to be Celene.”  Cullen agrees. “Leliana’s right.” I can only ruffle my lips upon hearing that.

“Uh, no.  No way in heck am I letting Gaspard get what he wants.  You do realize that means I’d be saying I support him if I do that, which means he **might** actually marry me!  He’s creepy and slimy and I hate him!  Also, I know for a fact he wants to invade Ferelden something awful.  No way am I letting him get away with that!” After my outburst, I pause for a couple seconds.  “Well. I guess I made my choice.” Leliana sighs, clearly a bit disappointed.

“In that case, we should investigate the Royal Wing like you said.  What did Florianne tell you, exactly?”

“Said one of Gaspard’s dudes is somewhere and I should go yack at him.  But, like I said, it’s a booby-trap to kill me. After that, then she goes and kills Celene, blah, blahdy, blah.”  Josephine seems to be thinking of something and has a more optimistic tone to her voice as she speaks.

“But this also could be a lead.  You should search the private quarters as soon as you can, Inquisitor.”  I nod swiftly at the direction, my long hair fluttering in my face like an animation error.  I brush it aside.

“Roger that.  And Cullen, get your dudes into position by the time I get back or… something like that.”

 

* * *

 

The second my crew and I sneak into the Royal Wing, Sera chuckles, her laugh echoing through the still, empty, marble.

“Think I can snitch the Empress’ knickers before we go, ‘Quizzy?”  I playfully shrug and exaggeratedly look the other way.

“I mean, you find and unlock the door, I won’t say nothing.”  The elf punches her first in the air.

“Yes!”  Her voice echoes as much as our shoes do on the tile as we sneak around.  Cassandra has a hand on the hilt of her weapon, Dorian has his staff out. I, meanwhile, hold my mighty frying pan aloft like a bat, ready to whack anyone that comes my way.  The more we slowly sneak around, inching down the hall, peeking around corners, makes me wish I could use my phone- if I had it on me- and start playing some background music.  My hands are starting to sweat in anticipation. I keep trying my best to not bite my cheek or tongue. _I probably make a really, really, odd-looking Rapunzel right now._

The second we round a corner, a woman’s terrified scream comes from the door to my right.  Quickly, Cassandra rushes forward and bashes the door open. As soon as I rush in, I’m greeted to a Harlequin with two knives attack an elven servant, crawling away on the floor.  Without thinking, I rush forward. The painted figure turns in confusion at my group and I. The second I reach them, the only thing I can think to do is try and swing my frying pan with all my might.  After the third swing, my pan finally connects.

 

**BONK!**

The assassin is knocked off balance.  From my right side, Dorian sends a force spell that pushes the would-be-murderer out the open window.  They yell as they fall, but I hear no crash. _How many stories up are we?  Did they just land on a lower balcony?  A bush? Something to break their fall? Seeing that Harlequin, I’m reminded of the man from the House of Repose I killed in cold blood.  At that time, it was a split second decision. I’d reasoned with myself that one less assassin is a good thing. But now, I don’t know. He wasn’t really trying to hurt us.  And Josie was disappointed… I’ll need to apologize soon-_  I shake my head to get back to the present and help the elven woman up.

“Thank you!”  She breathes out in relief as she stands.  I see her glance towards the window before speaking her thoughts aloud.  “No one’s supposed to be here… Briala said…” She stops short and gives another sigh- one of frustration.

“I shouldn’t have trusted her.”  My eyes dart around at my companions, but no one is saying anything.

“There’s a… reason you don’t trust Briala?”  The elven woman nods, firmly, determined.

“I knew her.  Before. When she was Celene’s pet.”  She says the word with disgust. I shudder at the tone and what she implied by it.  “Now she wants to play Revolution. But I remember. She was sleeping with the Empress who purged our Alienage.”   _Right, Celene burned Halamshiral.  Maybe… Maybe there’s something I can do about that at the peace talks?_

“Do you think you could testify that for me?”  Again, with confidence, the elven servant nods in agreement.

“Absolutely.  If the Inquisition will protect me, I’ll tell you everything I know about our ‘Ambassador’.”  From the side, I hear Dorian gives a mused ‘Hmm’.

“Most Orleseans would say that’s Celene’s scandal.  Not Briala’s.” Internally, I agree with him.

“Go to the ballroom, find someone from the Inquisition,”  I advise the servant. “They’ll keep you safe.” Before she quickly departs, the elven woman sounds relieved and ecstatic at the offer.

“Thank you!  Maker protect you, Inquisitor.”

  


Calmly and slowly, I stride into the room with Florianne’s trap.  There’s a lot of Venatori soldiers lining the courtyard, all with bows and arrows taut.  Before us, hovering in the air like vapor is a Fade rift. My mark sparks to life at the sight of it.  In the upper balconies, an elegant woman is heard and begins slowly clapping as she chuckles.

“Inquisitor!  What a pleasure.  I wasn’t certain you’d attend.”  As Florianne strides into view from behind the statue, she laughs louder.  “You’re so easy to read. Such a nervous, little wallflower you are. You may follow instructions from your advisor on how to play the Game, but in the end, you took my bait yourself.”  I frown in anger and annoyance at her taunting.

“Your outfit is tacky and I hate you!”  

“Yet you walked into the Winter Palace in that hideous purple and that outrageous hair.”  I angrily point my frying pan up at her.

“No one insults Glen Keane on my watch!”  Florianne only snorts in response.

“In any case, it was kind of you to walk into my trap.  I grow tired of your meddling. Corypheus insisted the Empress die tonight, and I would hate to disappoint.

“You’d think he’d be used to that by now,”  I mutter- more like shouting. Florianne’s mouth curls in anger at this.

“You poor, deluded thing.  You don’t know half of what the Julius Caesar and I have planned.”  I almost smack myself with the frying pan in realization. I almost forgot Corypheus had replaced Samson with Caesar.  But how could I forget such a thing when I pass by Samson every day in the training yard? _Oh well, I’ll kick myself over it later._  “And now I suppose you never will.”  Now she smiles, pleased and thinking she’s won.

“No one would ever think I’d kill Celene myself.  All I have to do is keep you out of the ballroom until then.  It’s a pity…” She muses. “My cousin was so looking forward to your performance.”  Now she points at me, directing the Venatori.

“Kill her and bring me her marked hand!  It will make a fine gift for the Elder One.”

At that command, the Venatori start to loose their arrows.  In a blind panic, I quickly shift to length my hair and wrap it around myself like a cocoon, trying to focus on having the defense powers Rapunzel gains in the TV show.  Thankfully, my impervious hair trick works. I can feel the tips of the arrows bounce off some kind of invisible forces field close to my hair. Good thing it worked, too.   _I almost died!  Again._  Quickly I peek through the stands to see what’s going on.  Mostly just my companions fighting Venatori. My eyes are drawn back up to the closed rift.  I trust my hand out of my shell to open it. The second the rift opens, I jump out of my hair to hit the nearest Shade with my trust pan.

**WACK!**

**BAM!**

**POW!**

**THUNK!**

 

By the time I end one shade and move onto the next, I feel a yank on my head that lands me on my back.  As I stare up at the green swirl, an arrow zips across the sky, and a man’s yell of pain happens offscreen.

“Sorry!”  Sera calls from behind me as I stand up on my feet.  I quickly throw out my hand again, the air reverberating around us as I seal the rift.  It closes, almost like it collapses in on itself. The silence after the battle is kind of… loud, in a way.

“Andraste’s Tits!”  The Ferelden Mercenary Captain shouts as Cassandra works on un-tying him.  “What was all that? Were those demons? There aren’t any more of those blasted demons coming, right?”  As I run up to him, I shorten my hair back to the length I had it.

“Uh, in order, a trap, yes, and no.”  The man looks tired, ragged, and startled.

“Maker bless me!  Demons? How could there be demons in the fucking Winter Palace?  I knew Gaspard was a bastard, but I didn’t think he’d feed me to any damn horrors over a bill!”  I raise my eyebrows in dubiousness.

“You really think all that happened over a bill?”  He falters and rings his hands a little.

“Well, when you put it like that…”

* * *

 

When the squad and I get back to the ballroom, I can see Celene standing where she had greeted us.  Gaspard and Florianne are on the parallel to where I’m standing, heading for the landing where Briala waits.  The center of the ballroom is clear, all the occupants standing on the sidelines. I can see the Grand Duchess watching me and I know she’s angry.  I manage to smile politely, but I’m unsure if she noticed. She and her brother quickly walk to join Briala. I hope I made her mad. The first person to come up to me is Cullen, of all people.  Considering the environment, I’d assume it was Josephine or maybe even Leliana.

“Thank the Maker you’re back!”  He says, the seriousness in his tone outweighing the worry.  “The Empress will begin her speech soon. There was a delay when she tried to wait for you to return, but at Florianne’s insistence, they’re moving ahead.  What should we do?” As I glance over at the trio, I already know what I want to do. I think I’ve got it figured out.

“Think I’ll go have a little chit-chat with Madame Hitman.”  Cullen takes a step back in shock, his eyebrows raised high, his eyelids wide open.

“What?  There’s no time!”  He starts sputtering.  “The Empress will begin her speech any moment!”  I wave him off with a limp wrist and a smile.

“Chill, Noodle-head.  I’ve got this.” I inform him as I lift up my skirt to walk down the stairs and into the face of my opponent.

 

“I don’t think we ever got to finish our little banter, did we, Your Grace?”  I speak loudly over the hushed room, shock clear on Florianne’s body language as she spins around to face me, attempting to remain stoic.

“Inquisitor.”  She addresses flatly.

“Remember:  You’re on-stage.  Every Cast Member needs to wear their smile.  You’re part of the show. Uncle Walt would be disappointed in you… **ma’am**.”  The use of ma’am causes a chorus of gasps to irrupt from onlookers, but I keep maintaining my placid smile.  As I had when descending the stairs, I raise the hem of my dress to climb up the landing, closer to the Duchess.  “After all, there’s no such thing as ‘I don’t know’. Can’t let your guests see you sweat.” She subtly starts backing up the closer I get to her.  There’s a quiver in her voice as she tried to seem in control.

“W-Who wouldn’t be delighted to speak to you, Inquisitor?”  I start exaggeratedly tapping my foot and my chin.

“Now that you mention it… I think you said something along the lines of: ‘I need to keep you out of the ballroom for as long as possible’ and that my dress was a ‘hideous purple’ and I had ‘outrageous hair’.”  Now I start to walk around the panicking woman, who keeps glancing about for some form of aid. But none come for her. “I mean, tricking me into thinking your brother was behind this, and trying to have Venatori shoot me at point blank range isn’t very hospitable of you.”  

Out of the corner of my eye, I see Celene watching keenly above us, like Hera or Athena.  Her hands are in the same position as when she greeted us, right on top and facing down, left on the bottom and facing up.  Her head has a slight inquisitive tilt to it, the light bouncing off her mask in silver sparkles.

“I mean- even the murder of the Council Emissary!”  At this, the gasps have increased to chatter. I can hear everyone around us growing frenzied and curious.  Gaspard even steps back beside Briala in shock, shaking his head ever so slightly as he looks in disbelief at his own sister.  “I mean, you had a lot of goals for tonight. Kill Celene, probably the Council of Heralds, frame your brother for treason. That’s a lot to do while hosting a party.  You should lighten your load a bit.” Florianne continues to step back, finding the courage to speak, but her voice more shaky than before.

“This is… very entertaining.  But who would believe such wild stories?  You claim to be from… somewhere else. You’re clearly-”

“That is enough.”  Celene’s quiet but commanding presence dominates the room.  Her voice is soft, yet the crowd grows quiet when she speaks.  She looks unmoved, like a statue of grace. Maybe this is all part of The Game?  Or her authority as Empress? “The tales will be the matter for a Judge to decide, Cousin.”  Florianne now gapes at her brother, taking hobbly steps to him.

“Gaspard?  You cannot believe this!  You know I would never…” But she trails off as Gaspard simply turns around and leaves her standing there, just as the guards walk down the steps.  “Gaspard?” She calls after him in vain, trying to back away from her enemies, but she’s cornered.

“I believe you’ve lost, madame.  Pity you didn’t find out.” Florianne starts sobbing as the guards host her up by the elbows and haul her away, her echoed wailing only growing more desperate and louder as she gets dragged to another part of the palace.  Smiling, despite all the murmur that’s resurfaced, I turn and face Celene.

“Your Majesty, may I request an audience?”

 

I wait on the veranda for the three major players to show up.  As soon as Briala and Gaspard enter, with the Empress close behind, they’re already bickering.

“Your sister attempted regicide in front of the entire Imperial court.”

“You’re the Spymaster.  If anyone knew the atrocity was coming, it was you.”

“You don’t deny your involvement.”

“I do deny it!  I knew nothing of Florianne’s plans!  But you… you knew it all and still did nothing!”  Briala gives a bitter laugh at Gaspard’s outrage.

“I don’t know which is better:  That you think I’m All-Seeing or that you’re trying so hard to play innocent and failing.”  Just as I’m about to call them off, Celene beats me to the punch, not looking a hair out of place despite what just happened.

“Enough!  We will not bicker while Tevinter plots against our nation.  For the safety of the Empire, I-” She quickly catches her slip up.  “-We will have answers.” I waste no time in point a finger at my ‘fiance’.

“Gaspard has spent the whole night sneaking in mercenaries in a plan to attack.”  He tries to play it off with a laugh, but it sounds unconvincing.

“And where did your troops come from, my dear?  If sneaking men into the Winter Palace is a crime, then we are both damned.”  For a brief second, I catch Briala’s eyes as she rolls them at Gaspard. _Me too, girl._

“Funny you should mention that-”  I say while trying to remember the dirt I have on him.  “Because your knife was found in the back of the Council Emissary in the servant's quarters.”

“The Council will not overlook such a horrendous crime, Cousin.”  At Celene’s comment, Gaspard quickly interjects.

“But I did no such thing!”

“By all means, continue to protest your innocence, Gaspard.  We find this performance endlessly fascinating.” I cough before continuing.

“His Mercenary captain has agreed to testify to the fact that Gaspard hired thugs to sneak into the palace to attack.  Need I go on?” The Empress briefly nods to me before turning to Gaspard and snapping her fingers to summon two guards.

“Thank you, Inquisitor.  There can be no doubt of your treason, Gaspard.”  The two men she summoned quickly go on either side of him and grab him.  “In light of your actions, we have no choice but to declare you an enemy of the Empire.”   _Wasn’t he already that when he tried to kill you during the Civil War?_

“You are hereby sentenced to death.”  The only thing that comes from his mouth is confusion and shock as he’s quickly dragged away.  Now things grow quiet as Celene looks Briala over. “And what of you, ‘Ambassador’? What has been your part in all this?”

 

Briala is surprised at being put on the spot like she was.  Her eyes widen slightly and she begins to open her mouth…

“Without Briala’s help, I couldn’t have been able to stop Florianne in time.  It was because of her I found the body with Gaspard’s knife and learned of the Venatori.  As such, I believe she deserves a reward for all she’s done for you, don’t you think, Your Majesty?”  Celene takes a long look at Briala, this time much less accusatory. Gently and slowly, the Empress nods.

“Very well, then.  I shall see to it. You shall join our Court as Maquis of the Dales.  We will begin a new era for Orlais to defeat this Elder One.” Briala, after giving me a quick glance, curtsies before Celene.

“Thank you, your Grace.”  Yet, before we all leave, Celene now turns to me.

“The Empire is in your debt.  We owe you our lives tonight. You have played no small part in this, Inquisitor.  Surely there is something we can grant you as well?” I think for a moment. I should do something monumental.  In the game, you just get her help for the Temple of Mythal thingy. I never really saw her armies in the game. Or if you spare Gaspard you can ask as a favor.  But, if she’s offering, I should take advantage of it.

“Actually, yes, there is something.”  I pause as I try to find the right words.  “I’d like a monument created for the elves of Halamshiral who lost their lives.  And as part of that, I want the Alienage- the city- to be rebuilt, better than it was.  For future generations.” The look of shock on their faces was worth it. Celene looks puzzled, to say the least, and blinks slowly a few times before regaining herself.

“You are… certain of this?  You would want for nothing personal?”  I take a few seconds to compose myself and look Celene in the face.

“The Inquisition stands for all, your Grace.  And you stated you want to start a new era working side by side with Briala.  This shows her people you mean what you say- and would possibly earn their loyalty past the defeat of Corypheus.  I assume you could have a use for them?” Slowly, Celene nods in understanding, a ghost of a smile on her lips.

“Very well, Inquisitor.  We shall see it begun after the defeat of our enemy.”

* * *

  


I stand beside Celene and Briala as they give rousing speeches to the crowd.  I can admit I was a little surprised the nobles would go along with Briala getting elevated, but I guess it’s not uncommon for elves to become nobles if I remember right?  When it’s finished, the Empress turns to me one last time.

“It occurs to us, with the events of the night, you have yet to perform for the Court.  Would it be of any trouble to request your performance to end the evening's festivities?”  As gracefully as I can, I smile and curtsy.

“It would be my pleasure.”  The Empress smiles something the closest to a real smile I’ve seen her wear all night.

“Excellent.  How soon can you begin?”

“I’ll need a few minutes to set up, that’s all.”  I quickly bow to exit and dash off to find Cole.

 

I wait on the landing below Celene’s place for Cole to signal he’s ready.  I’m feeling nervous and jittery- but exhibited. I haven’t done anything like this in a long time.  Makes me realize I’ve missed it somewhat. I see a thumbs up from Cole. That means he’s ready whenever I am.  I take in a deep breath and nod to Cole on the upper balcony. He returns my nod and presses play on my phone. The music starts and I close my eyes and duck my head.  I wait a few seconds until just a measure before I come in. As I raise my head, I concentrate to morph into Elsa, opening my eyes. I scan the crowd, all watching me both apprehensive and entranced.  Just as I’m about to come in, I take a step down, then another, until I’m on the dancefloor. With my cape laid out on the steps behind me, I look up and out to the crowd. From there, I start to sing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm finally done with this part! I like this quest, but man is it long. Thank you all so much for your support! Comment if you liked something or if you see any typos, have constructive criticism, ect. It always makes me smile to see a notification in my inbox!


	59. The Chargers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Josie convo and meeting the Chargers!

It’s night at Skyhold now.  The main hall is empty and lit by dozens of candles overhead, making the light seem haunting.  The throne at the end looks intimidating and imposing in the dark. As I slowly walk along, taking in the quiet, a flicker of light catches my eye.  It’s coming from the open doors leading to Josie’s office.  _ Strange, it’s not ‘business hours’ per say.  Most everyone has turned in or gone to the tavern.  I know she’s a workaholic. Is she still working this late? _  The sounds of my feet seem loud as I walk closer and knock, announcing my presence.  

Josie is hunched over paperwork, diligently reading and writing as need be.  There’s a large stack of papers next to her, that she places the finished page on top of.  I can’t see much of her face as she’s bent over and absorbed in her work. The scratch of her quill and the crackle of her fireplace are the most prominent noises in the room.  My knock on the door makes her look up with a startled look.

“Oh!”  She gasps, a hand briefly in front of her lips before lowering into a warm smile.  “Inquisitor, you startled me.” I briefly look away in embarrassment.

“Sorry,”  I mumble as I step into the room.  “Are you still working?” Josie nods as she gestures to the page in front of her before going back to writing. 

“I’m just finishing some replies to a few noble houses of Orlais who have many… comments on your performance at the Winter Palace.”  I frown to myself as I step closer.  _ I thought ‘Let it Go’ would work well…  It’s really popular and the music is an earworm.  Maybe the fact it’s about Elsa’s magic, which would seem like me openly supporting mage freedom, which might explain that… _

“Is it all bad?”  I wince as I prepare for the worst.   _ Am I getting death threats?  But I was able to stop Florianne without fighting, so my court approval was pretty good. _  Josephine places her quill back in the ink pot with a quiet laugh.

“Not quite.  Some have written they were quite impressed with your voice.  A few more liberal members of the court have inquired if you could send them the sheet music for their minstrels in exchange for-”  I laugh out loud at that.

“Sorry, sorry,” I apologize for cutting her off.  “-but I wouldn’t be able to do that if I tried.” The Ambassador has an inquisitive tilt to her head.

“How so?”

“Well, A: I can’t read music- I mean, I sorta can, just the top part.  B: The song is written by other people, and me giving it away like that would be stealing.  Plus, it’s copyrighted, so…” Josie smiles at my explanation.

“I have already declined them.  Then, there were quite a few people who were… less than thrilled with you.”  My eyes widen in surprise.

“I got hate mail?  Can I see?” Now Josie gives me the same look she was giving Yvette at the ball.

“You already have enough to worry about.  I do not want to stress you with someone’s obscene comments.”  She shakes her head to banish the thoughts. “But, is there anything I can do for you before I retire?”  I shake my head back and forth, bouncing on my heels a little.

“Nah, I just wanted to see how you were doin’.  Have any of those assassin guys done anything at all since we got back?”

 

At the question, Josie grows quieter.

“Thankfully, after meeting with the ‘Comte’ there haven’t been any attacks since before the Winter Palace.  ...Though I am not sure how long it will last.” The words hang heavy in the air.  _ What I did to the assassin comes rushing back to me.  How stupid was I to blindly attack him, justifying one less assassin makes her safer?  He didn’t do anything and wasn’t going to. He was just… being polite. _

“Hey, Josie…”  I quietly say after a few seconds of thinking, my emotions making my throat feel thick.  “I just wanted to say, I’m sorry for blindly… killing the assassin like that. I really should have asked what you wanted to do, since I was there for support.  I shouldn’t have done something like that. It was wrong and… I just feel really bad.” While I speak, Josie rises from her desk and wraps me in a hug.

“Catherine.  I never thought my family’s trading status would trap us in an assassin’s plot.”  She pauses as she releases me. “Thank you for your apologie. What you did was very worrying to me.  I detest violence, myself. And it reminded me of Leliana. She’s become... ruthless as of late. I would not want you to go down that path as well.  Niceness before knives, understand?” I nod up and down rapidly.

“Uh huh.”  She gives me another hug, a quick and tight squeeze.  Afterward, she gives a huge sigh of relief.

“The good news is I’ve tracked down the last Du Paraquettes.  If they become gentry, they can annul the contract on my life.  We’ll require a noble from Val Royeaux to sponsor them, a Judge to provide documents, a Minister to ratify them…”  Suddenly, from behind me, Leliana laughs and enters the conversation. Now instead of Josie being the one startled,  **I’m** the one jumping.

“It’s so like you to take the longest course of action, even when your life is at stake.”  The Ambassador sighs and steps to my left so the three of us can face each other.

“I assume you already know everything about this mess.”

“There is a faster way, Josephine,”  Leliana speaks with gusto, her hands moving for emphasis.  “The original contract on your life is in the vaults of the House of Repose.”  I see the corner of Josie’s mouth twitch down in displeasure as Leliana keeps going.  

“If my agents infiltrate it and destroy the original, the assassin will have no obligation to chase you.”  Now Josie calmly raises a hand to quiet her friend.

“Leliana, please, I want no more bloodshed over a personal affair.”  Now the Spymaster crosses her arms.

“Don’t be so stubborn, Josie!  How long will it take you to gather these favors in Val Royeaux?  Weeks? Months?” Not as intimidated by either of them as I used to be, I speak up for Josephine.

“Since this is Josie’s issue, we let her solves this however she feels.”  Leliana has a slight pout to her lips as she sighs.

“My people are ready, should you change your mind.”  She concedes. “I’ll post a watch, in case the House of Repose decides to visit.”  Josie smiles affectionately.

“I appreciate it, my friend.  I believe elevating the Du Paraquettes will solve this.”  The Ambassador turns to the desk and plucks a list from a corner.  “First, we need to perform some favors in Val Royeaux. I’d be happy to discuss where we could begin at the next meeting.”  Leliana takes the page and glances at it for a few long moments.

“Very well, we shall get started on this in the morning.  Good night to both of you.”

* * *

 

Not wanting to sleep yet, I meander over to the tavern to talk to whichever companion I find first.  The light shines bright even from the castle steps, and when I enter the sounds of laughter, tankards clanking, and general conversation almost boom in my ears.  The first thing I notice is in front of me, Bull and Krem sit with a group of people, all laughing and drinking.  _ That’s gotta be some of the Chargers. _  Most of the chorus of noise in the tavern is coming from that group of people.

_ “...For every bloody battlefield, we’ll gladly raise a cup.  No matter what tomorrow holds our horns be pointing up!” _  They all finish their drinking song with cheers and toasting the mugs in their hands.  The Iron Bull, who was turned to face all his men, notices me as they finish singing and waves me over.

“Ah, good!  We’re not drinking alone.  Boss, come have a seat.” When I come over, I plunk myself in the nearest empty chair, seating myself next to Bull and across from Krem.  “How you doin’, Krem de la Crème?” I can’t hide my snicker at the bad pun. Bull tosses me a grin. Krem’s displeasure is evident in the way his shoulders sink.  Also the fact he turns to give the Qunari a look before facing me.

“Your Worship, glad he has someone new to hit with that joke.”  I smile as I let myself get comfier in the wooden chair.

“At least he’s not calling you ‘Krem Puff.”  Krem is not happy at the suggestion. Bull just lets out a laugh.

“Good one, Boss.”  The Lieutenant just shakes his head.

“Believe me, he loves his nicknames.”  

 

Iron Bull leans closer to Krem as he speaks, a hand on his knee and the other holding his mug.

“Hey, when I was growing up, my name was a series of numbers.  We all give each other nicknames under the Qun.” Krem raises a brown eyebrow and brushes some of his undercut out of his face.

“They ever wear shirts under the Qun, Chief?  Or do they just run around binding their breasts like that?”  Bull’s eyebrows lower in slight exasperation.

“It’s a harness, Krem.”

“Yes, for your pillowy man-bosoms.”  I can’t help but snicker again at the exchange.  “Let me know if you need help binding. You could really chisel something out of that overstuffed look.”  As they laugh, I think on what I want to say.  _ I remember at this part you can ask Krem about himself, but I’m not sure if I know him well enough to ask.  And I already know from the games, so it’s not like I’m unaware of his identity. Nah, I’ll just hold my tongue on that topic.  They’re all having fun and relaxing. I’m not going to ruin it. _

“You’re a really funny guy, Krem.”  At my compliment, Cremisius looks surprised for a few moments.  A half smile appears on the side of his mouth.

“Thank you, your Worship.”  At this, Bull gives a light-hearted bump on his Lieutenant's shoulder.

“Hey, don’t flirt with my lieutenant, Boss.  I mean, he’s a great catch, but I need to keep him around for a few more years.”  My eyebrows lower in confusion as I glance between Bull and Krem.

“Huh?”  I hear some of the Chargers snickering at my confusion.  Krem shoots his boss a look while trying his best not to look at me.

“Chief!  Really?” Now the Charger’s laughter becomes louder.  Bull’s is the loudest as he messes up Krem’s hair somewhat.

“I’m just messin’ with you.  You guys can’t have all the fun.”  Krem just shakes his head with a slight smile on his face, like if Bull just made a horrible pun.  The Qunari then gestures to the others around us. “Anyway, here’s the rest of the Chargers… or what’s left of the rest.  A lot of ‘em went looking for stronger drinks.” Now he stars pointing around the room to the members of his crew. When called on, some of them nod in my direction, raise a hand in acknowledgment, or glance at me while drinking from their mug.   _ Are they just quiet because they don’t know me or am I really that intimidating like Varric said? _

“We’ve got Rocky and Skinner to your right.  And over there is Stitches, Dalish, and Grim.”  He laughs as he looks at them all like a proud parent.  “Crazy bunch of assholes, but they’re mine.” He finishes with a smile.  I glance around the group, wondering who to talk to first.

 

“So, Rocky, you from the surface or Orzammar?”  The dwarf has his hood up, but the tavern light reveals his face.  He answers as his wipes the ale from his mouth.

“Orzammar.  I got exiled.  Stupid noble crap…”  He mutters. “Also, I accidentally blew up a bit of the Sharperate.”  The dwarf finishes with a flash of a toothy grin, the edges of his mustache making his teeth seem brighter.  Bull then cuts into the conversation.

“Rocky’s one of our best sappers.  He can take down enemy fortifications faster than a golem.”  Now, proudly, Rocky chimes in, his chest puffed up slightly.

“I’m also working on my own version of Qunari black powder.  I’ve almost got it!” Bull just shakes his head.

“Yeah… you really don’t.”   _ Oh, right, black powder is gunpowder. _  Now I turn to Dalish, who’s put the chess game with Stitches on hold while we play meet-and-greet.

“So why’d you join the Chargers, Dalish?” 

“Our Keeper thought I should see the world a little.”  She replies in an accent that reminds me of Merida. The way she quickly answered my question makes me feel like she had it prepared.

“Dalish can’t have too many mages it a clan at once.  Or so I’m told.”

“Now, ser!”  She reprimands him.  “You know I’m not a mage!”  Everyone just snorts in response.

“That’d make me an Apostate.”  Bull just shrugs in disbelief.

“You carry a staff, Dalish.”

“It’s a bow!”  The way she says it instantly reminds me of a video I saw on the internet of Merida going “But Mum, it’s just my booooooooow.”  getting increasingly longer as bagpipes start playing. It always cracked me up.  _ Don’t laugh, you’ll seem rude.  Don’t laugh, you’ll seem rude! _  Now Krem comes back in, having recovered fully from Bull’s teasing.

“A bow with a giant glowing crystal at the tip?”

“Yes.  It’s for aiming.  Old Elvhen trick. You wouldn’t understand.”  I try my best to hide a laugh and move on to the man across from her.

 

“I guess with a name like Stitches, you’re the medic?”

“Yes.”  He responds in a gruff Ferelden accent.  “First time I picked up a sword was when the Blight hit Ferelden.  Never put it down.” Bull gestures to Stitches as the company healer takes a drink from his mug.

“He makes a potion that’ll put you right back on your feet after the toughest fight.  Tastes terrible, though.”

“That’s because it’s a poultice, sir.  You’re not supposed to drink it.” I see Bull shake his head with a laugh as Stitches and Dalish go back to their game.  I turn my head to Skinner, who’s been quietly watching this whole time.

“So, how’d you join?”

“Killed some people.”  Is all she says in a French- er, Orlesian accent.

“Skinner didn’t take kindly to some nobles testing their new swords on some elves in her Alienage.”

“Bull took me in.  Now I get paid to kill shems.”  The slight smile on her face in unnerving.  I’m not going to make her mad.

“Sooo,”  I turn to the last member of the group, who’s sitting on the floor.  “You’re Grim?” He grunts in affirmative.

“Okay, cool.”  He grunts again.

“Grim doesn’t talk much.”  Bull supplies. “I’m pretty sure he’s the lost King of some small country. Or a chieftain.  Something like that.” Grim grunts again. I smile at Bull.

“You’ve got a really cool buncha people under your wing.”  He gives a boisterous laugh in approval.

“Anyone who can pull their weight in a fight is good for me.”

“And who can put up with your bullshit, Chief,”  Krem adds.

  
  


Bull just shakes his head and returns his attention to me.

“Anyway, glad you came by, Boss.  There’s been something I’ve been meaning to talk to you about.  I’ve gotten a letter from my contacts in the Ben-Hassrath. I’ve already bought it by Red.”  I pause and glance around at his men. They all seem to be minding their own business, but… 

“Aren’t you a spy?”  I ask, gesturing around to his crew.

“Not like I was hiding it from my boys.”  He shrugs. “The Ben-Hassrath have been reading my reports.  They don’t like Corypheus, the Venatori, and that both of them fucked with the universe to summon that… Julius guy.  They’re not too thrilled with the fact some Venatori sects have been changing their attack patterns and formations. And they  _ really _ don’t like Red Lyrium.  They’re… unsure about you, but are willing to give us- you, a shot.  The Qunari and the Inquisition, joining forces.” I stare at him as I take in what he’s saying.   _ I can understand being upset that Julius Caesar is making the Venatori fight like a Roman Legion.  They conquered a lot of the world back in their day. I’m not sure if the Qunari has a formal army or how they fight other than the small groups I’ve seen in the games. _

“How come I make the Qun nervous?”

“Well,”  He says as he strokes his chin in thought.  “You’ve got a lot of power for someone your age, you don’t act like you have that much power, your a mage with strange abilities, and you run around calling yourself an alien.”

“But I am, though.”

“Yeah, and they don’t like that.  Says it messes with the natural order and such.  They don’t know what to make of you, or what you might do.  Worried you could throw the world out of balance along with Corypheus.  But this is a chance to show them you’re not the bad guy. My people have never offered an alliance to a foreign power before.  And considering how you’ve got them feeling, this would be a big step.” I have to shrug and nod along. I guess that makes some sense.  The fact they’re willing to check me out rather than sticking my head on the chopping block is nice. Still, that’s a lot of pressure to show I’m not the one to kill.

“They’ve found a massive Red Lyrium shipment operating out of the coast.”  Now Krem, who’s been silently nodding along with the convo, chimes in.

“They want us to hit it together.  Talk about bringing in one of those Qunari Dreadnoughts.  Always wanted to see one of those things up close.” 

 

Bull brings a hand on his knee again, making this all seem more casual than a battle attack with the Qun’s battleship.

“They’re worried about tipping the smugglers.  No army, just the Chargers and maybe some backup.”

“What the heck would this net me?”

“Full naval power, more reports, Qunari soldiers pointed at the Venatori.”  I nod, slowly, like I’m thinking.  _  In reality, I’ve already made my decision.  No way in hell am I sacrificing the Chargers.  I’m gonna make that dreadnaught explode myself if I have to.  After meeting them, I just can’t throw their lives away. Puts what Loghain did at Ostagar into some perspective.  I mean, the first time I played, I thought he left because Alistair and the Warden were slowed by Darkspawn and missed the signal at a crucial point.  To go in any way would needlessly kill his men since Ostagar was a massacre anyway. Maybe it’s the one thing he did that makes sense. _

“If they’re willing to give me a shot, I can do the same for them.”  Bull nods along in approval.

“Good.  I’ll pass on the word to Cullen and Red.  We can set the meeting up whenever.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for your patience! I'm writing when I can. Been busy with yard work and murdering wasps nests. Also job hunting. And hoping that Disney will call me soon. I've been on the waitlist since March. Crossing my fingers!


	60. Calm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bonding with Cole, Catherine tries new magic and does some investimagatin'.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all your patience! Sorry, it's been a while since I've updated. Sort of took a mini-break so I could come up with fresh ideas. And play Stardew Valley. Very important.

“Hi Cole!”  I wave to him as I climb the last steps of the stairs.  The now-human-former-spirit boy sits in a corner, thinking.  He looks up at my approach, a window's light heightening his eyes.  After a few seconds, his look softens slightly.

“Hello.”  He greets me.  I point to the open wall beside him.

“Can I sit with you?”  He glances beside him before nodding to me.  I plunk down beside him, leaning my back against the wall, my legs crossed.  “So,” I begin, not knowing where to start with my question.

“How’s the whole… human thing going for you?”

 

Cole looks up at the beams overhead, silent as he thinks.  The light flickering across his face highlights the gauntness of his face, but he doesn’t look as ghoulish to me as when I first saw him.   _ Maybe it’s because I’ve gotten to know him?  I’ve just gotten used to seeing him every day?  I’m not sure. _

“They all see me now.”  He says slowly. “Everyone I help, they see me.  I find people when their pain leaves them open. I ease the pain.  I leave. They forget.” Now his head lowers to a level glance. I can see a slight frown on his face like he’s deeply confused.

“That was enough for me.  Now they remember, and I’m not sure…”  But then he stops himself. The frown changes into a smile.  Then Cole chuckles to himself. Now I’m the one who’s confused.

“You okay, Cole?”  Now Cole looks at me, his hat brim casting a shadow across his forehead.

 

“I told you about Rhys, the mage who could see me.  My friend.” He pauses briefly as he glances aside. “...My only friend, for a long time.  Evangeline showed me that Templars could be kind, but even she…” He pauses again, looking and sounding uncomfortable with the topic.  Quietly, I take his hand and squeeze like he’s done with me before.

“If this bothers you, we don’t have to talk about it.”  His expression changes again, to a happy look in his eyes.

“Gentle.  You watch me walk into darkness over and over, and you always worry.”  Cole squeezes my hand. “Thank you.” He says softly as he slips his hand from mine.

“But this isn’t about them.  It’s about…” He trails off as he tries to find the words.  “When I found out I wasn’t human, when I grew, I lost Rhys. I lost my only friend.  That’s why I was scared about letting all these people see me. That’s why I laughed.”

“So you’re laughing at you?”  Cole nods a couple times and continues speaking.

“Yes.”  He says softly, like a whisper.  “This world taught me that changing means losing your friends.  But now I know that doesn’t have to be true. I have enough self to know that what I felt before was foolish.”  Now he lights up with a genuinely happy smile.

“Isn’t that wonderful?”  Sharing his joy, I smile back and decide to give him a quick hug.  Cole gets a little stiff at the gesture at first, but he allows it.

“Yeah, that’s great!”  I agree as I pull back.  Cole smiles back and nods.

“I might like being human.  What do you think I’ll learn next?”

 

After he says this, the two of us fall into silence, neither knowing what to say.   _ The cutscene ends there.  It just fades to black and Cole’s story arc is basically over until Trespasser.  But I’m not just gonna walk away now. He’s a person. I should spend time with him! _

“Say,”  I turn to Cole after a couple minutes.  “You wanna do something fun?” He tilts his head, the hat staying still as he does.

“I don’t know…”  He speaks like the idea never occurred to him.  “Like what?”

“Uhh, you wanna get some food?”

“I don’t eat.”  I mentally smack myself in the face.

“Right, sorry.  I forgot.” Cole looks at me with a happy look on his face, despite my error.

“You’re trying.  You want to include me.”  He says. “Thank you.” At a loss for ideas, I pull out my phone and head to Youtube.

“Do you like cats, Cole?”  He gets a thoughtful look in his eyes and briefly glances at his shoes.

“They always bat at my feet.  But they make people happy. They are nice.”  I hold the phone in between us and hit the play button.

“I think you’ll like this, then.”

* * *

 

My next stop is Morrigan, who is in the garden with Kieran as he reads from a difficult tome.  He squints his eyes as he slowly scans the page. His feet dangle from the stone bench he sits on.

“Mother…”  He frowns as he calls out to Morrigan, reading a book of her own.  “This is hard.” Morrigan licks her thumb to help her turn the page.

“Not everything is instant.  All studies take effort. In time, it will become easier, but you must study for that to happen.”  Kieran grumbles in reply but continues reading with no further complaint. As I approach, the Witch notices me, what with my clunky-sleepy walk and constant yawning.  “Ah, Inquisitor.” She greets me.

“Hi, Morrigan.”  From the corner of my eye, I see Kieran’s head shoot up at my interaction with his mom.  I can kind of see his expression- a curious and wide-eyed one.

“Mother, you didn’t say she was small.”  The boy immediately says, but not out of cruelty.  He sounds almost entranced.

“I did not know her true form until recently, Kieran.”  I see an amused look as his mother watches his gaze. She places a finger to her cheek in thought.  “It seems she may be around your height, little man.” Instead of laughing at me, Kieran seems slightly happy with that.

 

“I still wish I was a little taller, though…”  I grumble to no one but myself. The boy nods deeply in agreement from his book. 

“I know how you feel.  I want to be taller, too.  Like Mother.” I hear a barely audible chuckle from Morrigan.

“It is time to go back to your studies.”  The boy grumbles in protest again, but he obeys.  I can tell he’s only half studying, though. He’s very clearly listening in on us.  _  Not that I care.  Somehow, I don’t think Morrigan minds either. _  Morrigan suddenly turns and looks me over with an astute gaze.  “Now then, about your abilities, I have a thought.” The witch changes the topic so suddenly I get caught off guard.

“Wha tha?”  I mumble in her direction.

“When you change into another, what is your mind drawn to?  How they behave? Sound? Their appearance?” I frown in thought.   _ I’ve never really put it into words, per say.  It always just… kinda happened. _

“I dunno.  I guess it’s like a suspension of disbelief?  I just kind of focus and forget myself and it just happens.”  The Witch of the Wilds nods along.

“And what of the creature you attempted at the Winter Palace?  What was it...?”

“A dinosaur.”  She briefly pauses, unfamiliar with the term.

“What was on your mind when you tried to perform my magic?”

“Dinosaurs?”   _ Where is she going with this? _

“And have you studied the creature?”   _ I don’t have a degree, but I’ve read a lot and have loved them since I was little. _

“Yeah.”

“Do you know to walk as it does?”

“Yeah.”

“Have you an inkling how it behaves?”

“I think so.”

“It’s appearance?”

“Uhh…”   _ No one knows their pigmentation since flesh doesn’t usually survive. _  “A little?”

 

“Inquisitor, are these ‘dinosaurs’ alive where you come from?”

“Well, they were-”

“Were they ever alive during your time?”

“No, not by a-”

“That is part of your problem.”  She concludes. “There is a difference between studying from a book about a creature that existed in the past, and another to see it first hand.  I am able to change into a wolf because I studied them for many years before I attempted. I imagine it is more difficult to have to conjure everything from a guess?”  I glance to the side and kind of shrug.  _ I have nothing to counter with.  She does make a point. I can’t turn into a scientifically accurate dinosaur if I don’t know everything about them like the back of my hand.  Heck, I may say I know a lot, but I probably only know crumbs of basic information. _

“Maybe I was starting off too high…”  I agree with her after mulling it over.

“Is there any animal you are closely familiar with?  Perhaps a companion of sorts?”

“I had pet cats.”  I offer, hoping that’s what she might be going for.  She raises an eyebrow with a slightly superior smile on her lips.

“Then perhaps that might be a good place for you to start.”

 

Taking her hint, I close my eyes and try to calm myself and focus.  I try to remember my cats. The way their fur looked so fluffy when they laid down to nap.  How soft my kitties were when I pet them. The flutter in my chest when they smiled at me. Ila’s constant purring and little meows when she talked to me.  Their itty, bitty, widdle, cute paws!  _ Wait… how would my hands become paws?  I mean, they’re kind of similar, but I don’t think my fingers correlate with claws.  How the heck do I change my skeletal structure and bone length on a dime? Or the placement and size of my internal organs?  If my brain shrinks, will I lose consciousness? Does it hurt? How can something like that even be explained? How… How…? _

“I take it something is troubling you?”  I open my eyes to see both Morrigan and Kieran- from a distance- watching me.  I grumpily brush my bangs aside.

“I don’t know- it’s just…  The more I think about how magic might work, the more my head spins.  It just doesn’t make any sense to me. Magic just seems… more than strange to me still, I guess.”  I see Kieran’s head tilt slightly to his left.

“But…”  He starts in a quiet and confused tone.  “How can magic be strange? It’s everywhere.”

 

Morrigan taps her chin in thought as I huff to myself.

“You claim to be from another world, yes?  I take it there is no magic or Fade there?”

“No.  Just sleight-of-hand illusions, unless you believe it’s real.  I don’t.” She gives an understanding nod like something clicked in her head.

“That may be the root of your problem.  You are overthinking this because you are trying to use the rules of your own world.  Be this the case, perhaps gaining an understanding could help you learn my skill.  If not, then perhaps you are simply different from I and it is not for you to learn.”

* * *

 

Grumbling at the new magical roadblock on my way to becoming the coolest thing ever, I trudge up to the library.  It’s pretty big and stocked with a lot, maybe I can find something in here? Instead of a book, the thing that catches my eye is Dorian rifling through shelves until he finds something.  As soon as the book is in hand, he makes a face.

“All these ‘gifts’ to the Inquisition and the best they can do is the Malefica Impero?  Trite propaganda…” He mutters to himself.

“What’s up, D-man?  You looking for something?”  At my question, the book snaps shut.

“Trying to find anything decent about the Imperium in here is next to none.  I could have sworn I saw something by Genitivi here, but apparently, if you want twenty volumes of whether Divine Galatea took a shit on Sunday, this is the place to find it.”  He tosses the book over his shoulder. My guess is, he was aiming for part of the walkway beside him, but instead, it goes sailing over the edge. After about seven seconds or so, there’s a small, echoed bang from the first floor.

“Do you mind?”  Comes Solas’ echoed complaint.  Dorian and I share a look.

“No, not really.”  He cheerfully calls down to his neighbor.  I can almost hear Solas roll his eyes. I peek over the edge of the railing and try not to glance down too long.  I see Solas at his desk, reading some sort of book. Or he could have been drawing. I didn’t look too hard. I wave at the elf below me.

“Hi dad!”  I see him glance up briefly.  There might have been a slight smile on his face as he gives a simply wave back.

 

When I turn back to Dorian, he’s still scanning through the shelves.

“So why did you pop up here, Catherine?  Other than to bask in my charm?” I give a short laugh.

“I wanted to try and find something on, like, magical theory or something.  Something that explains how magic works.” The Tevinter turns his head to me, interested.

“Why are you looking for something like that?  I didn’t think you were interested in learning ‘proper’ magic.”  I kind of shrug and scuff my foot on the tile.

“I wanted Morrigan to teach me how to turn into a dinosaur, but it didn’t work.  She suggested maybe I’m overthinking things and if I get a handle on how magic works, maybe I could do it?”  Now he straightens up as he still wears an expression of confusion and intrigue.

“You want to learn magic from a hedge mage from a swamp?”

“I want to be a dinosaur.”  Dorian gives a snap of his fingers in realization.

“Those are those dragon-like creatures you showed us once, I remember.  But why one of those? Why not a dragon? Those are more powerful.”

“But I wanna be a dinosaur.”

“And you don’t want to fly?   Rain fire or ice down on your enemies?”

“I wanna be a T-Rex.  Or a Velociraptor. I haven’t decided.  Plus I’m scared of heights, so flying seems moot.  And if I’m a T-Rex, I could just eat Corypheus and be done with it.  Problem solved.” Dorian burst out laughing at the idea.

“And eating an ancient Magister won’t give you indigestion?  You don’t know where he’s been.”

“I never said it was a **good** idea.”  I begrudgingly admit.

“At any rate,”  He continues, “I’m certain there’s something in here I can scrounge up for you.  Not sure how long it will take.” I give a shrug.

“I’m in no rush.  And if I help you it’ll go faster.  I’ve got nothing else to do.” The Tevinter smiles.

“Excellent!  We’d best get started, shall we?”


	61. Uh Oh

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Catherine tries to solve a problem with medieval medicine.

You know that moment when you first wake up and you just know something's off?  Like, for a minute or two, everything’s fine and then there’s an ‘Uh no…’ feeling.  I’m lying in my giant Inquisitor bedroom, staring at the ceiling, minding my own business, when suddenly there's an ache in my lower back and I just know.  I’m still glad I remember what’s coming in a few minutes and am eternally grateful I figured out how to change my clothes to modern things. As I start changing, I look down and sure enough, it’s my period.   _At least I don’t have to put a stick with cloth up there…_

As I think about it, it makes more and more sense this would happen suddenly. _I’ve always had bad periods ever since I was nine.  Cramps so painful, I’d cry even with medicine. I’d miss at least three days per period whenever it happened.  It was always random. Three months since the last one. Two weeks? Half a year? Who knows? I don’t. When I graduated high school, it only got worse.  The one period I got my first year of college was awful. I had hot and cold flashes, couldn’t sleep, almost puked at the sight of food for days, and blacked out for an unknown amount of time._  But it makes sense this would happen now.  Thedas doesn’t have birth control and since I’m unfamiliar with how it works, I probably couldn’t summon it anyway.   _I might get the formula wrong and make myself sick._  And I’ve been so stressed with saving the world, Corphy, politics, yada yada, it makes too much sense.

* * *

 

_But what do I do?  Can Inquisitor’s take sick days?  Do I grin and bare it and pray my worse symptoms don’t come up?  Who do I tell if they do? I’m sure the women would understand, but what kind of stuff would they recommended I do about cramps?_  Annoyed at being woken up so early by my internal organs, I leave for the training yard, hoping Cassandra is there.

 

For the first time, I see Cassandra not in armor.  I see she’s wearing a tunic and pants, but no chainmail or breastplate to speak of.  No black seeker armor abound. There’s barely anyone else awake in Skyhold. I can really only hear birds or the wind.  Maybe she had trouble sleeping? Or I just sleep in so late Cass does this all the time and I didn’t know? I walk up to her in the middle of the Seeker beating the crap out of a dummy with a training sword.

“Are you winning or losing?”  I ask as I step closer. She stops swinging at my voice, but not in a way that suggests she was startled.  The older woman shakes her head at my comment.

“‘The Inquisitor was _hilarious_.’”  She says with a slight smile, a sheen of sweat shining on her forehead.  “That’s what they’ll write about you one day. Just watch.”

“But I **am** funny.”  I protest as she places the sword down to give me her full attention.  “So what’cha doing out here so early? I thought you were already awesome at stabbing dudes?”  She sighs and shakes her head at the suggestion.

“I just needed to clear my mind.  You remember how Leliana, Vivienne, and I have each been nominated as the Divine?”   _Well, I do now._  “Because of what happened at Halamshiral, the Empire favours your opinion, and those close to you.  So now what was simply debate between different Cleric’s has begun to escalate into factions of supporters.”

My conversation topic about cramps grinds to a halt.   _I don’t know what to do about the whole Divine thing anymore.  Before, they were all in consideration just by the main Chantry.  Now, each of them have been named Pope and the people who named them might start fighting over it.  We’re already dealing with a Mage Rebellion, Corphy, the Orlesian Civil war probably hasn’t fully stopped yet…  Can we handle more?_

“Are things going to get out of hand?”

“If we stop Corypheus soon, we should be able to settle things before they turn into another war.”  I nod along, hoping she’s right.

“Sooo, do you even wanna become Pope?”  Now Cassandra crosses her arms in thought, as she glances at the ground while her mind races.

“I… am not sure.”  She finally says. “I am not even sure it was meant to be like this.  What has happened with the Chantry, the Circle, the Templars; it cannot be what was intended.  Even in the midst of this chaos, the Chantry refuses to change. It should provide hope and faith for people during times like these.  Before, as a Seeker, I followed orders, as my faith dictated. Now, I should see it with better eyes.” As she speaks, she gains more confidence in her words.

“Leliana’s views have many on edge with her liberal ideas for the future.  Vivienne seems rooted in the way things are when it comes to the Circle. The Chantry needs to change.  And perhaps…” She pauses, like she’s processing everything. “I, should be the one to change it.” Now we both stand in the training yard, process what she just declared.

“I honestly don’t know what to do about all this stuff, Cass.  What, throwing my weight around who I want to wear a silly hat?  It feels like the almost end of the world ought to take precedence over this kind of stuff.”

“Perhaps,”  She shrugs at my words.  “But we must not forget to consider what will happen after the war ends.  But we aren’t there yet. Now, was there something you wanted to ask since you’re up earlier than usual?”

 

I quickly glance around.  There’s still only us here.  Good. I feel a little embarrassed asking about it anyway.

“Okay,soIstartedmyperiodthismorningandIdon’thavemedicineInormallyhavetodealwithmycrampssoIwaswonderingwhatyoudowhen/ifthathappens?”  Cassandra only looks at me, bewildered.

“Could you repeat that please?  And slower?”

“My uterus is trying to kill me for not being pregnant.”  She makes a face like I said something crazy.

“Come again?!”

“My internal organs are shedding their interior lining and I don’t have my drugs.  It hurts, do you know how to help it go away?” Cassandra, while seeming quite exasperated, nods in understanding.

“You should have said so right away.”  I pout briefly.

“I did.”  The Seeker briefly places her forehead to her palm as she sits on her reading stump.

 

“Have you spoken to the healer?”  I grow quiet and avoid her gaze. “Have you ever seen the healer during your time here?”  I give a sheepish grin, hoping to make her laugh instead of more exasperation. It didn’t work.  She groans.

“You should pay attention to your health.”

“I’m fine!”  I put my hands on my hips.  “I’m up to date on my shots and haven’t gotten a cold since I got here.  All I need is some Aleve or something. Some Tylenol? Anything that helps with minor aches or pains?”  She just gives me a flat look.

“Fine…”  I grumble.  “I’ll go talk to the doctor man.  But if they’re wearing a plague mask, I’m out!”  As I start to go I abruptly turn around.

“Also thank you, I appreciate it, Cass.”

  


“No!”

“But ma’am, a bloodletting should help with the pain of your menstruation.  It’s a common practice-”

“I’m already bleeding and more bleeding is the solution?!  Wouldn’t a magic healing glowy bit be easier?” The surgeon sighs, very much annoyed at my protests for bloodletting.

“Magic can’t cure everything and we shouldn’t rely on it.”  She states. “Science, your Worship, is the way of the future.  Good health isn’t magic. It’s diet, exercise, and a balance of the humors.”  I frown deeply at the ‘doctor’.

“Two outta three isn’t that bad a swing…”  The Inquisition Surgeon frowns back at me.

“I have leeches is that would-”

“That’s the same thing!”  She huffs and crosses her arms as she looks me over, tapping her chin in thought.

“An excess of bile, perhaps?  That might explain the mood.” _I’m done.  I’m just done. I’ll just find some floor to lie on and I’ll feel better.  Or watch Netflix. Funny things might make me feel better, too._ “I know of a new procedure out of Orlais that might help.  There’s a book here on the subject I got from one of the vendors.” She turns around to fish through a small bookshelf. After finding and pulling it out, she quickly flips to a marked page and shows me an illustration.

“A hole drilled in the head will cure most ailments!”  She says with glee? As she points to a picture of a skull with a hole in the forehead and a diagram of a tool beside it.  “Imagine, not to be dependant on magic.” I quickly shake my head and turn tail out the door.

“Nope!  Nope, nope, nope!”  I hear her call after me as I book it as fast as I can.

“Where are you going?”

“I’m not into this kind of LARPING!”

* * *

 

Thankfully, I’m able to survive the War Table meeting without dying.  My cramps aren’t as bad as they could be, but this is only the first day.  I’m just glad I’m not in the middle of travel or a mission. That could go badly.  I spend most of the day in my room. Sometimes pacing to music, trying to read some books on magic Dorian found for me, or trying to nap.

I don’t feel as ‘bleeeh’ as this morning.  Now it’s more like ‘bweh’. But when it’s nearing evening, I remember I haven’t eaten.  And humans need food to survive. Begrudgingly, I trudge my way down all the stairs to the main hall with the goal of getting a snack, when I almost bump into Varric on my way out.

“Hey, dude.”  I manage a smile and a nod in recognition.  Varric puts on a charming smile.

“There you are, Dots.  I’ve been looking all over for you.  I heard from the Seeker you weren’t feelin’ so hot this morning.  How’re you doing now?” I give a noncommittal shrug.

“I’m better than I was.  Not so bad.” He nods in agreement a couple times.

“Glad to hear that.  Listen, you play cards at all?”  I shut the door behind me, wondering what he’s talking about.

“I mean, yeah, why?”  He waves for me to follow him outside, filling me in as we walk.

“I’ve got a game of Wicked Grace set up in the tavern.  Think you’ll get a kick out of it.”

  


“I found her, Ruffles!  Deal her in.” Varric cheerfully calls into the sort-of empty tavern.  I can see a few people cleaning some empty tables or Cabot at the bar. But a lot of people from the inner circle are just hanging out.  There’s a wide table- might even be two smooshed together- with a few pitchers of a drink in the middle. Almost everyone has a tankard and some cards near them.   _It’s everyone from the Wicked Grace cutscene.  Wait, this is the Wicked Grace cutscene. How’d I manage to forget that?_  I’m guided to a chair in-between Josie and Cass, across from Varric.  I wave to everyone as they greet me either with words or nods. As Varric and I take our seats, everyone passes the cards to Josie, who starts to shuffle them.

“I do hope I recall the rules,”  Josephine says as she taps the cards even in the stack.  “It’s been ages since I’ve played Wicked Grace.” As the Ambassador continues to neatly shuffle the deck, Bull starts heckling.

“Come on, Josephine, are we playing cards or what?”  He asks in a more playful manner than annoyed. At that, she starts handing out the cards.  As I glance at mine, I realize I have zero clue how to play this game or what’s going on. Fudge buckets.

“Hey, Varric,”  I ask over the table.  “What exactly are the rules of this game?  I’ve never heard of Wicked Grace before.” Varric just laughs.

“Don’t worry, Dots, you’re smart.  You’ll pick it up in no time.” Just as he finishes, Cassandra mutters to herself.

“Are three drakes better than a pair of swords?”  She’s not talking too loudly, more like just to herself.  “I can never remember.” Varric quickly jumps onto teasing her.

“Hey, Seeker, remember showing your hand includes announcing it to the table.”  As everyone starts collecting their cards and talking amongst themselves, Cullen begins to rise.

 

“You seem to have enough people, Varric, and I have-”  Blackwall places a hand on the man’s shoulder and guides him back into the chair.  Dorian doesn’t look up from his cards as he speaks.

“Losing money can be quite relaxing and habit forming.  Give it a try.” Varric gives him a good-natured shoulder punch.

“Curly, if any man ever needed a hobby, it’s you.  Besides, I even got Dots to join up, and she’s probably the cleanest out of all of us.  Well, except the kid, anyway.” Cole, meanwhile, is focused on examining the artwork of the cards.

“There’s a crown on his head.”  He muses while holding the card in the light.  “But a sword, too. His head didn’t want either.”

“Don’t talk to the face cards, kid.”  Now my attention is drawn to my right, as Josie clears her throat.

“Dealer starts,”  She seems to muse while examining a few coins in her hand.  “I believe I’ll start at… three coppers.” Now she glances at me.

“Do you think that’s too daring?”  I shrug. “Maybe I’ll make it one. No!  Boldness! Three it is!” The Qunari at the end of the table adds his own coins to the small pile.

“Seriously?  Who starts at three coppers?  Silver or go home!” Blackwall just laughs as he adds his own bet.

“None of my business what a lady chooses to gamble.”  I see Dorian smirk as he flips a silver coin- or a few- next.

“I agree with Bull.  The bolder the better, right?”  As Varric tosses his own bet, he includes his head to me.

“What about you, Dots?  You gamble?” I quickly scan everyone at the table.   _Including myself, there’s eight here.  So that means it’s a one in eight chance of winning, less so because I’m new.  Wait, or is it one out of seven and the total doesn’t include me? I forgot. It’s been a while._

“Eh, not really.  Kind of boring to me, actually.”  Amongst the murmur of confusion or surprise, Varric chuckles.

“Boring, eh?”  I kind of glance away as I explain.

“I’ve only done it once before.  My dad took me to a casino he works surveillance at and stayed outside the floor while I played a slot machine.  I had, like, twenty bucks and lost it in five seconds or so. The cupcake I got afterward was my favorite part.”  I hear Cole gently laugh at the last part. But I take a penny out of my pocket and slide it to the edge of the pile.  Hopefully, my American currency will pass for Thedas’ “I’ll admit, I have better odds here than a slot. I’m testing the waters, so go easy on me.”  Varric leans back in the chair, cards in hand.

“That depends on how good or bad you are, Dots.”

* * *

 

After a couple rounds, I still can’t figure the game out.  I’ve lost each time, but since I keep using pennies, I’m not losing that much.  Sera came in the tavern after the first game and immediately helped herself to a mug.  It turns out, she gets drunk quick, and I finally have an explanation as to why she’s under the table in the first place.  There’s a huge chorus of laughter from everyone as Cullen finishes the story of the Templar recruit in his underwear. Once everyone’s laughter dies down, Josephine triumphantly takes the pile.

“And the dealer takes everything.  I win again.” Cullen, whos face definitely isn’t flushed, places a hand on the table to emphasise his words.

“Deal again.”  He requests/demands.  “I think I’ve figured out your tells, Lady Ambassador.”  Josie raises a hand to her chest in exaggerated shock.

“Commander!”  She admonishes.  “Everyone knows a lady has no tells.”

“Then let’s see if your fortune lasts one more hand.”  I hear plenty of people snicker at Cullen’s odds at actually winning.  Cassandra groans as she shakes her head back and forth.

 

Sure enough, Josie is smiling triumphantly as Cullen has lost all manner of clothing he had.  I, however, am the only one shielding myself.

“Don’t say a word, dwarf.”  I hear Cullen grumble from behind my hands.  Varric just laughs. It’s good that he’s feeling better after the Bianca incident.

“I tried to warn you, Curly.  I think you’re going to make Dots explode.”

“On the list of people I want to see naked, none of you are on there!”  I protest from my dark void.

“But you don’t want to see anyone naked.”  Cole pipes up from behind Josie.

“Exactly!”  I agree.

“Never bet against an Antivan, Commander.”  Josie chastises him lightly. Cullen just grumbles in annoyance while the snickering starts again.  To my left, I hear a chair move.

“I’m leaving,”  Cassandra announces.  “I for one, agree with Catherine.  I’d rather not witness the Commander’s walk of shame back to the barracks.”

“Well, I do.”  Dorian pipes up from his vantage point.  After he says this, a brief silence follows.  Slowly, I hear a few people start to move their chairs and walk to the door.  There are a few more seconds of silence. I can’t tell who left and who's still at the table.  I’m hoping either Cole or Varric will give me the all clear. I hear someone running away, probably Cullen.  As his footsteps fade into the distance, I hear Varric give a cough.

“You can look now, Dots.”  When I remove my hands, I breathe a sigh of relief.  The only people left in the tavern are Varric, Bull, Cole, and Sera.  Bull is going around gathering mugs and pitchers and taking them to the bar.  Cole walks around picking up the cards, taking a long look at the image, and handing them to Varric.  “I’m glad you could join us.” He says as he neatly arranged the deck to fit back into a cardholder.

“It’s too easy to mistake you for the Inquisitor.”  I nod a couple times as I glance around the quiet, dimly lit tavern.

“I had fun.  Reminded me of when my cousins and I used to play Mao at family gatherings.”  He has a pleasant smile on his face at my comment.

“See?  That’s what I mean.  There’s a lot riding on your shoulders and some people tend to mistake you for an icon or symbol.  It’s good to take that off and be a person for a while. You up for another game when this is all over?”  I nod my head yes a bunch of times.

“Sure, as long as you actually explain how to play the game.”

“Ha!”  He lightly slaps the table.  “It’ll take a bit to talk Cullen back into it.  Maybe I’ll work the revenge angle?” As Varric mulls it over, a familiar head pokes out from under the table.

 

“Did I win?”  Sera asks, her words a little slurred.

“Sure, Sera,”  I reply. “You totally won.”  She gets a lopsided smile.

“Brillant!  Ya hear that, dwarfy?  I’m brilliant!” Varric doesn’t hide his laughter.

“I hear you loud and clear, Buttercup.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your comments and kudos! I'm writing more companion quests as I'm uploading this. Next up is the conclusion to Bull's quest. Will Gatt not trust the strange Inquisitor and declare her an enemy of the Qun? Will Catherine let the dreadnaught sink or will things change beyond her control? Stay tuned!


	62. F-5

The Storm Coast is as wet and gray as when I first met Bull.  We’re on a cliff overlooking the rocky beach, a far drop underneath us.  The ocean is a dark gray and endlessly slouching on the beach. But I don’t see anything that looks like a warship.  Sure, there’s some Venatori stragglers we’re supposed to get, but that’s it.

“Alright,”  The Iron Bull says as he rolls his shoulders backward to stretch.  “Our Qunari contact should be here to meet us.” I almost expect Gatt to jump out right away, but there are a good ten seconds of nothing but rain before the elf steps out into view from behind some foliage.

“He is.  Good to see you again, Hissrad.”

Our Qunari contact is an elf with a long, harried looking face.  There’s a scar through his left eyebrow and his hair looks like a mullet to me.  His armor throws me off at first glance. He’s not wearing any Qunari sort of armor.  It looks like the Dalish warriors.  _ I mean, I guess it makes sense he wouldn’t wear typical Qunari armor since he can’t wear the toxic warpaint.  Is the armor like a disguise for him? _  I see Bull grin at the man in recognition and opens his arms wide either in surprise or he’s going to give a hug.

“Gatt!  Last I heard you were still in Seheron.”  Gatt chuckles and plays it off casually.

“They finally decided I’d calmed down enough to go back out into the world.”   _ I’m getting some seriously unhinged vibes from this guy.  Like he’s going to snap and slit my throat. Also what accent does he have?  It sounds familiar. I know it’s from the British Isles. It’s not Scottish. Welsh?  No, he doesn’t sound like Solas. Irish? Just some form of British accent I don’t know the name of? _  As soon as Gatt stepped out, Cassandra has placed herself close to me.  I guess it makes sense since the Qun is really distrustful of me. Bull inclines his head to the two of us.

“Boss, this is Gatt.  We worked together in Seheron.”  The elf politely nods before looking over the Seeker with an appraised eye.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Inquisitor.”  The second the title leaves his lips I almost burst out laughing.  “Hissrad’s reports say you’re doing good work. I admit, when I read the reports, they said you were…”  He trails off as he shrugs. Meanwhile, my bodyguard scoffs and steps aside.

“Ugh…  Catherine, stop hiding.”  The Qunari agent now furrows his brow as he glances at us, eyes darting back and forth.  Reluctantly, I step forward.

“Uh, hi.  How ya doin’?”  Gatt looks down at me, a slow blink during his pause.

“Ah.”  He says in a clipped statement.  _  Like I’m much less impressive than the reports or something. _  I glance up at the tall Qunari, whos face reads off like he’s starting to get worried.

“What’s ‘Hissrad’?”  I ask him. As soon as I ask, his face turns back to neutral and begin to explain.

“My title was ‘Hissrad’ because I was assigned to secret work.  You can translate it to ‘Keeper of Illusions’ or-” But his former partner cuts him off.

“Liar.”  The elf says.  “It means liar.”  The Iron Bull grimaces a little.

“Well, you don’t have to say it like  _ that _ !”

 

“Iron Bull sounds way cooler,”  I say to no one in particular. I turn my eyes to the stormy ocean.  The waves have picked up since we started talking. The white edges are a contrast to the dark waters.  But no matter where I look, I don’t see the ship at all. It’s not a blip in the distance, it’s not hiding behind a rock or cliff.   _ How do you hide a massive warship? _  “So where’s the boat?”  Gatt shoots an annoyed look at me like he’s dealing with a child.

“It’s not a boat,”  He snaps. “-It’s a dreadnaught, and it’s off the shore until they receive the signal.”  I squint back at the surface of the water. But it’s hard to make out any details from this distance or in this heavy rain.

“So it’s like a sub and it’s underwater?”  I frown at the idea. “You guys have subs already?!”  Gatt’s face just creases more and more as I keep talking.

“If the dreadnaught were underwater, that would make the gattlock powder unusable.”  I give a quick nod as I start mumbling to myself.

“Oh yeah, that’s a thing with gunpowder.  If you get it wet it can’t blow. Or is that a myth?  I’ve never actually seen gunpowder in real life, anyway.”  There’s a long, awkward silence as Gatt watches me with suspicion.  When Bull gives a loud cough, Gatt starts speaking again.

“As I was saying, Tevinter is bad enough without the influence of this Venatori cult.  If this new form of lyrium helps them seize power in Tevinter, the war with Qunandar could get worse.”

‘The Vints could make their slaves into magical freaks with this stuff.”  Bull shudders at the thought for a brief moment. “We could lose Seheron and see a giant Tevinter army come marching back down here.”

“The Ben-Hassrath agree.”  Gatt points to himself for emphasis.  “That’s why we’re here. The Dreadnaught is out of view and range of Venatori mages.  We eliminate the Venatori, then signal the Dreadnaught to take out the smugglers ship.”  As we all stand there, absorbing the plan, I tap Bull’s upper arm.

“Dude, what do you think of this?”  The horned giant glances down as he thinks, the rain pouring down despite the silence.

“Don’t know.  Never liked covering a dreadnaught run.  Too many ways for crap to go wrong. If the scouts underestimate enemy numbers, we’re dead.  If we can’t lock down the Venatori, the dreadnaught’s dead. It’s risky…” He finishes, his words trailing off before he can finish.  Gatt quickly steps in where Bull left a pause.

“Riskier than letting red lyrium into Minrathous?”

_ I think when it comes down to it, human lives are more important than a boat… _  But I dare not say that aloud, considering my company.

“Alright then, let’s get started or whatever.”  Gatt finally seems a little pleased with my agreement.

“We’ll need to split up into two groups to hit both Venatori camps at once.  Each on a side of this inlet.” I see Bull quickly look over his shoulder at his men behind us.

“I’ll go with you, Boss.  Krem can lead the Chargers.  I’ll fill them in and then we’ll move out.”

* * *

 

As I follow Bull and Gatt while we all climb up a wet, muddy hill, I can barely overhear their conversation.  Cassandra hasn’t left me out of her sight, getting more intense the more Gatt acts suspiciously with me. And since I’m going to let the dreadnaught down, I guess it’s only a matter of minutes before he’s hostile with me.

“You gave your Chargers the easier target,”  Gatt observes, not letting his voice get too loud over the rain.

“Suppose we’ll do the heavy lifting then.  Just like old times.” Both men start to chuckle, but when Gatt turns his head back a moment and catches me listening, he stops short.  In a minute or two, we can see the encampment.

 

While everyone clears out the cultists, I stand back by a tree in my normal form.  Bull hinted changing might not be the best idea right now, telling me to hang back from the fight because ‘I’m squishy’.  I’m starting to get the hint that it was more to not piss off the Qunari contact. He’s already distrustful of me. Showing I’m a human Ditto would probably be too much.  When the noise stops, I see Gatt and Bull standing by a bonfire. The elf is bent on the ground, placing something in the flames. As he steps back, a flare goes up. I jog over to hover by Cass.

“I didn’t even know they have flares…”  I muse to myself. “No, wait, fireworks are old.  Of course, there’s flares.” The Seeker beside me watches me like she wants to say something, but doesn’t.  As soon as another flare goes up across the water, Gatt give Bull a good natured bop on the arm.

“I knew you gave them the easier job.”  Bull doesn’t comment. As I approach Bull’s other side, I see him watching the Chargers with a proud smile.  Before I get to say anything, a ringing bell cuts through. Bull points a finger at an emerging spiky, black silhouette on the water.

“There’s the dreadnaught.”  I stare down at the boat below us.  It’s about as big as an aircraft carrier. _  Or, at least, it looks like it is. _  As the bell rings, there’s a loud whoosh as two fireballs fly through to air to hit a smuggler’s wooden boat.  It quickly catches fire. The Qunari beside me gives an excited laugh. “Nice one!” But suddenly, he sees something that drains his face.

“Crap…”  He mutters as I see what he’s looking at.  A large group of Venatori are starting to press the Chargers against their wall.  I quickly point and speak loudly to demand Bull’s attention.

“You’ve gotta get them outta there, Bull!”  Gatt steps forward in an imposing manner, speaking in a hard tone like he’s Bull’s supplier.

“Your men need to hold that position, Hissrad.”  I see the Iron Bull glance torridly between us before helplessly watching Krem and the others.

“They do that, they’re dead.”  Bull doesn’t sound like he’s panicking, but the emotion in his voice is all but gone.

“And if they don’t, the Venatori retake it and the dreadnaught is dead.”  Then he points a finger at me. “You’d let this child throw away an alliance between the Qun and the Inquisition?  You’d let her decide to make you Tal-Vashoth?” At the way he phrases that statement, Bull gives Gatt a hard look. The elf throws his hands in frustration.

“Half the Ben-Hassrath think you’ve betrayed us already!  I stood up for you, Hissrad. I told them you’d  _ never _ become Tal-Vashoth.”

“They’re  **my** men.”  Bull gives a low rumble of protest.

“You need to do what’s right, Hissard.  For this alliance. For the Qun.”

“Fuck the boat!”  My outburst makes both men turn their heads.

 

“What?!”  Gatt snaps at me in anger.  I point out again to the dreadnaught.

“Bull, a boat can always be rebuilt.  Another attack on the Venatori can always happen.  People can’t. What’s worth more? Losing a number of your Chargers?  Or a giant heap of inanimate metal?” I see Gatt start to fume as he steps in front of Bull to point at me.  Right behind me, Cassandra pulls out her sword.

“There are people on that metal!”  He snaps. “You’d throw their lives away for a group of-”  He stops himself to glare up at Bull.

“All these years and you’d throw it all away?  For what? For this? For  _ that _ ?”  He yells, point a finger at me.  At this, Bull slowly lowers Gatt’s arm.  The elf just stares up, slowly shaking his head in disbelief.

“Catherine isn’t a thing.”  The Qunari declares. “And she’s right.”  And then Bull sounds the retreat, the Chargers leaving as soon as the horn echoes all around us.

When the horn finally dies down, all of us are silent.  Bull stares out at the ship, like he’s trying to process the decision he just made.  Gatt looks like he can’t understand anything.

“Hissrad…”  He can only mutter as he shakes his head.

“Hey!”  I snap at the elf.  “His name’s Iron Bull.”  The Ben-Hassrath gives me a sour look for a few moments.

“I suppose it is.”  He glowers as he quickly storms off.  With Gatt gone, Cassandra finally loosens her grip on her sword.  I can see some flicker of fireballs from the shore head for the dreadnaught.

“Won’t be long now…”  Bull mutters. Cassandra finally speaks, having said very little this whole time.

“Bull, when the dreadnaught sinks…?”  The man finally speaks with some emotion.

“Sinks?”  He asks with a surprised tone.  “Qunari dreadnoughts don’t sink.”  Right after he says that, there’s a loud, almost deafening explosion and a sharp flash of light.  I feel momentarily blinded, slowly getting back the image of a sinking ship into grey waters. 

 

_ I guess you could say the Venatori sunk their battleship. _


	63. Importance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bull's quest gets wrapped up and two more companion quests get started. Also a little moment with Solas.

The next morning after we all get back from the Storm Coast, I spot Bull standing on the battlements from my balcony.  I haven’t talked to him at all about what happened yet. I wanted to give him some space to think it over. His whole life changed on a dime because of me.  That’s gotta be a lot to process. _That’s a choice I made for him…  I feel kinda bad about that. Yet, was it even a choice?  The alliance with the Qun would only last until the defeat of Corypheus, but then they turn on you no matter what you do.  I guess in a way, Trespasser makes sacrificing the Chargers a moot point. I guess if I think about it that way, did I make the right decision?_

By the time I get to him, he seems a little surprised to see me.  I can see a couple guards on the other side of the path. The assassins.

“Hey, Bull.”  He turns his head to me, nodding and giving a grunt of recognition.  That’s when the men start moving toward him. _I guess in the scheme of things, I don’t really matter that much to the Qun.  Oh no I’m so sad._  As I blink, the guy on the left pulls out a knife.  Before I can even leave a sound out of my mouth, Bull whips around and right-hooks the guy in a fast and fluid motion.  As the punched man stumbles back, the other tosses a knife in his direction.

“Boss, duck!”  I do so, seeing the knife graze his arm while another misses him and goes sailing over my head.  Bull retaliates to the knife by chucking his own knife- or some kind of tiny mace, I couldn’t see well from down here- into the man’s chest.  He drops like a sack of flour.

“Dude, I-”

“I got it!”  Bull yells as he kicks the other man.  As he scrambles up, clutching his arm, he glares at the both of us.

“Ebost issala, Tal-Vashoth!”  Then he turns his head to address me.  “Itwa-ost, basra saarebas!” But while he’s monologing about our demise or long live the Qun or whatever, pulls the guy by his coat and hauls him up, chucking him over the edge, head first.  The assassin screams before hitting the ground and going silent.

“Yeah, yeah, my soul is dust, the scary mage kid deserves to die.  But you’re scattered all over the ground now, so…” He shakes his head as he winces and holds the knife wound he got.  “Sorry, Boss,” He says as he turns to me fully.

“I didn’t want to get you caught up in the attack.  Had no idea you’d be out here when they hit. Guess I’m not worth sending professionals for and they’re not that interested in killing you yet.”  I hold up my hands to pause him.

“Whoa, wait, so you knew these guys were coming?  And they wanna kill me… later?” He gives a shrug like it’s nothing important.

“Little change in the guard rotation last night tipped me off.  And since right now you’re the best shot and saving the world from that asshole, I wouldn’t be surprised if they started coming after you when he’s good and dead.”   _If I could give a low whistle, I would.  But I can’t whistle._

“Least I have something to look forward too…”  I grumble. “But why didn’t you tell someone?” Bull makes a face and raises an eyebrow.

“You know anyone here who’s gone through years of Ben-Hassrath training to hide facial expressions while I wasn’t looking?”  I frown as I look back and forth as I try to think.

“Uhhh-”

“See?”  He cuts me off.  “Like that. If I’d have told anyone, the assassins would have been tipped off.”  I nod along.

“Oh.”  Is all I can really comment on.  I point to his hand as he still grimaces from the cut.  “Are you okay, dude?” Again, he shrugs like he’s fine.

“Ah, been hurt worse fooling around in bed.”  Now I frown again at the idea. If he got a cut like that, and he’s been hurt worse, what’s he been doing?

“That doesn’t sound very safe!”  I blurt out. Iron Bull gives a barking, short sort of laugh.

“It’s more fun when there’s danger.”  I look at him confused and shrug.

“Shouldn’t you get that looked at?  You don’t want to get infected. And what if they used poison?”

“Oh, they _definitely_ used poison.  Saar-Qamek. Liquid form.”  Now my face twists even more in confusion and concern.

“Sar-ga-what huh?”

“A kind of substance that wipes your mind.  If I hadn’t been dosing myself with the antidote, I’d be going crazy and puking my guts up right now.”  He glances at his wound briefly. There’s blood, but it doesn't look too bad from what I’ve seen of sword wounds.  Looks like a bad paper cut. “As it is, it stings like shit, but that’s it.”

 

We grow quiet as the wind whistles around us up here.  There’s still that dead guard behind Bull on the ground and now I can’t stop looking.  The Qunari turns his head around to follow my gaze.

“Ah.  Sorry about that, Boss.”  He grumbles as he hoists the body and chucks it over the edge where he did with the first.  I hear some people below give yelps of fright. “Sorry ‘bout that…” The Qunari calls down as he shrugs at me.  I’m tempted to peak over the ledge, but I’d rather not.

“So, you wanna go on a roaring rampage of revenge or somethin’?”  The Qunari looks at me like I just said the moon is made out of cheese.

“Against who?  The entire Ben-Hassrath?  Besides, this wasn’t serious.  Sending two guys with blades against me and not sending an entire army after you or attacking while they had the chance?  This wasn’t a hit, it’s a formality. Just makin’ it clear that I’m Tal-Vashoth.” Bull grows quiet as he glances down at the bodies, shaking his head and grumbling.  “Tal-Va- _fucking_ -shoth…”  I’m not really sure what to say.  I don’t know how to relate to how he’s feeling.

“You say that like it’s a bad thing?”  I say in a humorous tone, hoping to lighten the mood.  It works a little.

“I’ve killed hundreds of Tal-Vashoth in Seheron.  Bandits, murderers, bastards who turned their back on the Qun.”  He pauses like it’s all hitting him at once. “And now I’m one of them.”

“No, you’re not!”  I pipe up. The horned guy seems a little confused.

“Eh?”

“You’re not any of those things!  You saved your men when you could have let them die to prove your loyalty.  You didn’t have to listen to me, but you did. Crazy people who run around attacking caravans or innocent people because they snapped under pressure don’t do stuff like what you did.  You’re a great guy with a team who loves you and would follow you to the end of the earth because you’re awesome. You’re Iron freakin’ Bull and a badass who don’t need no Qun! And you’re my buddy!”  The guy looks at me for a few moments as I try to cheer him up. Eventually, a half smile cracks on his lips.

“I can work with that.”  He nods, before hearing another scream from down below.  “Anyway, I’ll let Red know what happened. Say,” He says with a quizzical look in his eye.

“Why did you push towards saving my boys?  With all the people you can turn into couldn’t you have… I dunno, tried to save both?”  I purse my lips as I try to put my thoughts into words.

“I guess it just felt like a split second decision.  Group of people I know and like or a political alliance with a group who’s already not too keen on me?  Alliances can be broken and remade. People… they can’t. And,” I pause before continue speaking. “If I said even if we saved just the boat or both, and made an alliance with the Qun, that they’d end up going back on it either way?”  Bull looks at me for a long moment, looking me over. As he turns to go, he stops short and turns around.

“Look, Boss, whatever I miss, whatever I regret… This is where I want to be.  Whenever you need an ass kicked, the Iron Bull is with you.” In a burst of happiness, I run over and hug him.   _My face only reaches up to around his chest.  He might look soft, but there’s a lot of muscle under there.  He’s built like a powerlifter or something. There’s a lot of rough scars on his body, but he’s warm.  I wonder if he gives good hugs?_

“I love you, big guy.”  The tall Qunari gives me a quick and tight hug back while he laughs.

“You finally confessing to me, Boss?”  As he releases me, I frown and out my hands on my hips.

“It’s platonic!”  But he just laughs again.  It’s loud and boisterous. I’m glad I could make him feel better.  That’s what friends do.

 

* * *

 

First Enchanter Vivienne shakes her head at my question.

“My dear, magical therum was never my area of study.  I believe you might have better luck asking one of the former Senior Enchanters who elected to stay with the Inquisition.  Or you could as your Ambassador to request some materials the Circle used to have in their curriculum. I would allow you to borrow some of my own, but I only have books on alchemy with me at the moment.”  I try not to grimace too much. Granted, it wasn’t the answer of ‘the Circle is best’ answer I thought she was going to give. But to ask another mage in my group and still get nowhere bothers me. Dorian’s books were way above my understanding and just made my head swim.  I do my best to not put my feet on the couch Viv had me sit on.

“Oh, okay,”  I mumble a little too glumly.  The older woman picks up on this.  She has a subtle tilt of her head.

“Not the answer you were hoping for.”  She doesn’t ask this, she states it.

“Yeah…”  I start to admit.  “Morrigan thought-”

“Morrigan?”  She cuts me off with a harder tone.  “Why on earth are you asking an apostate about magic?”  I bite my cheek a little as I panic over whether I tell Viv the truth or not.  She probably won’t like it.

“She offered to teach me to turn into animals.  But since I can’t use magic she thought I should get the basics of how it works.”  I can tell Viv’s a combo of shocked and annoyed. Most likely at the fact, the Herald of Andraste keeps hanging out with hedge wizards.

“And why in the Maker’s name do you want to do such a thing, my dear?  You can already change your form.”

“...I wanna be a dinosaur…” I mumble quietly.  The mage gives an exaggerated sigh as she stands and walks to her balcony.  There are a few long moments where she remains quiet before she speaks.

 

“Darling, you already frighten the Chantry and most every nation of Thedas.  Mages already are feared by the common folk, and with your abilities, origins, you face more scrutiny than most leaders of our age.  The Qunari have already decided you’re a threat and if you continue to ignore the Chantry and its rules, no doubt the rest of Thedas will follow suit.”  I gulp as the seriousness of what she’s saying hits me. _I never thought about it like that before.  I just considered the Qun to hate me since they’re like that with a lot of outsiders.  I know other leaders were wary of me, but I guess it might make sense they might try and gang up on me.  After all, in two years people will say the Inquisition is corrupt and needs to disband. With a crazy alien mage at the helm, things might escalate._

“O-Oh…”  Is all I can mumble.

“If you use your station and power to command the world’s respect and fear, only then do you have a chance to survive this world.”  I meekly nod along.

“You make a good point.”

“Naturally.”  She says in a clipped statement before taking a long time to look out at the grounds.   _Part of me is a little annoyed she’s so grumpy with me, but in a way, it feels like it’s coming from genuine concern and worry for me.  Like a really strict aunt or teacher._  “My dear, I’m afraid I must ask for your help.”   Vivienne suddenly changes the subject, taking me by surprise.  She crosses her arms and turns her head ever so slightly to look at me.  From my angle, she looks like how I’d imagine a Queen of Egypt or Nubia to look.  Powerful, stoic, and pretty in the same way a poison dart frog is brightly colored.  She means business.

“There is an alchemical formula I must complete, but I have been unable to obtain a critical ingredient:  the heart of a snowy wyvern.” There’s a slight sigh of frustration from her before she continues. “I had arrangements to gain one, but the Chevaliers I was working with were killed during the Civil War.”

 

“Can I ask what kind of project this is?”

“It is for a member of the Council of Heralds.  I am the Imperial Court Enchanter, after all.” That’s all she says about it.  I know it’s for Bastien, but I’m not supposed to. I don’t think I’m going to ask.  It’s something between her and her client, it’s rude for me to butt in. “The snowy wyvern is quite rare and exceedingly dangerous.  Their venom is the most potent of any poison. Ordinary hunters do not make the attempt. The risk is too great. You, my dear, may be able to trap the creature with a plan of yours or even outsmart the creature.”  I quickly glance down and gesture to all of me.

“Have you seen me?  What if I die?” I hear the mage give a tiny, amused laugh.

“Since you do have other technologies and a wealth of information at your disposal, I believe you can come up with a way to gain the heart with minimal risk to yourself.  And with the abilities of your allies, you shall be well protected, no doubt. I also have a supply of anti-venom that will help, should any of your party get injured.” _She makes a decent argument.  I’ve seen some of the crocodile hunter when I was younger.  Maybe Steve Irwin could give me some ideas on how to disengage one so nobody gets hurt and the creature doesn’t suffer._

“In that case, I’ll help how I can.”  I see a brief flash of gratefulness cross her face.

“Thank you, my dear.  I shall give the location of the lair to Cullen.  And remember: I must have the heart or my potion will not work.  I eagerly await your success.”

 

* * *

 

My frown intensifies as I glare at the little flame hovering in Solas’ palm.  It’s not coming directly out of his hand. There’s a layer of emptiness in-between, like the surface tension in water.   _But why is it like that?  How in the heck does he make fire instantly?  It can’t be combustion, cause that would be an explosion.  Are mages somehow able to manipulate molecules in the air? But only in a specific place?  That makes sense for fire and ice, but what raising the dead? Or making force-fields? Or that short warp thing I’ve seen Solas do?  AGGGH I don’t get it! The more I think about it the more questions I have!_

“This is useless!”  I grumble in irritation.  “I’m never gonna be a dinosaur!”  I hear Solas give a short hum of amusement as he puts out the flame.

“With your confusion as great as it is now, I am surprised a demon did not seek you out immediately when you first arrived.”

“Huh?”  My frown hasn’t quite gone away as I glance up at his face.

“When the rules of this world do not mirror theirs, they lash out.  Just as you do so in frustration.” After he speaks, I drag my hands down my face as I make a guttural noise of annoyance.

“Why can’t it just make sense?  Why does magic make my brain hurt?  Errrrggggg...” The elf’s expression is a mixture of amusement- probably just because he likes me- and the fact he’s probably started to get irked.  I, meanwhile, haven't stopped making noises, but I’m started to run out of air. “-ggggggggg.” I have to stop to take in a breath. Before I can start again,

“Are you finished, Catherine?”

“-gh.”  I finish with a little peep.  Solas takes a moment to compose himself.

“Since you are growing frustrated with this subject, perhaps it would be wise for you to take your mind off it for a while?”  He phrases it like a question but his tone holds parental authority.

“Okay,”  I grumble, annoyed I my brain keeps getting confused.   _Why can’t I just accept it?  I took the idea I can turn into other people just fine.  Is this like the ‘algebra makes no sense but geometry is easy’ stuff I went through in high school?!_

 

When I go out, I head to the stables to see Blackwall.  Maybe he’d be okay with me helping with some woodworking he’s doing or something.  It’s only mid-afternoon now, having spent most of my morning with Vivienne and Solas.  But when I arrive, I don’t see Blackwall. _Huh, that’s odd.  He’s normally up and awake.  The loft is silent. Is he at the tavern?_  I turn the left corner to find Dennet brushing one of the horses.

“Hey, you seen Blackwall at all?”  The old man shakes his head.

“Haven’t seen him since last night, Inquisitor.”  I feel the dread start to come on, hoping this isn’t what I think it could be.

“Alright, thanks anyway.”  I turn back to his woodworking area to look through his stuff.  His tools are organized on the workbench like they normally are.  The griffin rocking-horse is done and sanded, but not painted. The two chairs are in their usual spot, the floor of the barn is swept clean. _It’s everything he normally does.  But why does this feel-_  My eyes catch a folded piece of paper in the near Griffin on the bench.  It’s not addressed to anyone, but my heart sinks as I grab it and unfold it.

 

**‘ ~~Lass~~ Inquisitor,**

**You’ve been a friend and an inspiration to me.  Through your actions I see the way you hold to your values despite everything going on around you.  You’ve given me the wisdom to know right from wrong and the courage to uphold the former. As well as trust in my own conviction.**

**It’s been my honor to serve you.’**


	64. Worm Can Bed of Doom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The conclusion of Blackwall's quest! What's the outcome? Will the Inquisitor show mercy and let him go free or does Catherine have something else in mind?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, it's taken me so long! I've had this in my Google docs just staring at me. Just a bit of writer's block. Or I took a break? But either way, enjoy!

The dungeon is dark and eerie.  It’s mostly silent and empty. There’s the occasional drip of water or maybe a rat scurrying, but I try not to think about that.  I take a breath to try and calm myself.  _ It’s odd, I’ve seen this before, I’ve known about this from the start, but it still shocks me. _  I hear a rustle as my footsteps draw closer to the last cell.

When I see Blackwall, neither of us speak.  The torch nearby flickers and dances on the wall.  Thom sits on the wooden bench looking haggard and lifeless.  He’s still in his gambeson, his hair hasn’t been cut and his beard is still intact.  We only arrived just as Blackwall stopped the execution and was hauled off. And then it took some time to get the guards to let me in, much less see him.   _ He’s probably been alone down here for half a day or so. _  The two of us wait in silence, before the man I knew finally speaks.   He clears his throat before a low, emotional rumble comes out.

“Blackwall’s been dead for years.  I assumed his name to hide from who I really am.”  He hangs his head while he speaks, probably not thinking himself worthy of looking me in the eye.  “I didn’t kill the man if that’s what you’re thinking. I traded his death. When I said I was recruited for the Wardens, that was true.  He found me, was taking me to go through the Joining. But there was an ambush. Darkspawn, I think. He was… killed. I took his name to stop the world from losing a good man.  But the man he was, a good man, wouldn’t have let another die in his place.” There’s a long pause after he finishes. Thom continues to look at the ground in shame. While I do feel shocked and hurt at his betrayal, it’s not enough to affect my face.  I just keep watching him with a level look. 

_ I don’t know if I did the right thing.  I knew about this. Could I have said something?  Talked to him more often? Kept a closer eye on Blackwall so I could have intercepted him?  I guess that’s the hard part of my foresight… Knowing when to interfere and when not to. If I’d have said something, maybe that would’ve messed him up and I’d never have found Blackwall again.  If just trying to convince Alexius to stop changed the future spell as drastically as it did, I admit I’ve been nervous about tipping anything in my favor since then. _

“Mm.”  Is all I can really think to mutter in response.  At this, his eyes finally look at me, briefly, in confusion.

“Don’t you understand?  Don’t you have anything to say?”  He asks, his voice quickly flooding with emotion and grief.  “I gave the order to kill Lord Callier, his entourage, and I lied to my men about what they were doing!”  He stands slowly, then abruptly slamming his hands against the metal bars. I quickly back against the wall, jolting from the volume as echoeshos around the cells.

“When it came to light, I ran.  Those men, my men, paid for my treason while I hid and pretended to be a better man.   _ This _ is what I am.  A murder, a traitor… and a monster.”  He slinks down the bars until he’s kneeling on the dirty, wet, stone floor.  After watching him sink into despair for a few moments, I finally find my voice.  When I speak, I sound harsher and more serious than I felt.

“Oh, you were.”  I reply as I crouch down to be more level with him.  “But a selfish traitor wouldn’t step into the light to save one of his old men like you have.  Maybe you started off as what you said, but somewhere along the line, you became the lie. Whether you believe it or not, you became a better person.  You could’ve dressed Blackwall up as you and disappeared to another country with a completely different identity. But instead you... tried. It doesn’t make up for what you did, not by a longshot.  But, I think it’s commendable.”

 

Thom Rainier doesn’t say anything for a good while.  And then he gives a short, bitter laugh.

“I expected you to be much more angry with me.  Most people would. But… you almost sound like you’ve had…”  And now he raises his head, squinting at me suspiciously and deep in thought.  “-time to think about it.” By his tone, I can hear the gears start to turn in his head.

“You aren’t that shocked by what I’ve done.  It didn’t even take you very long to track me down, did it?  Almost like…” Then he stops short as it clicks for him and I.  “You already knew.”  _ Oh shit. _  I start to panic.   _ Oh shit.  He’s smart.  Blackwall figured it out.  But he worked in the Great Game and crap  _ **_of course he’s figured it out_ ** _.  He’s got nothing to lose anymore. _  I don’t say anything, but I don’t need to.  Thom already has his answer.

“Why didn’t you say anything?”  He says in an angry tone. “You could have said something!  Made me pay for my crime before I finally worked up the gall to do so myself!  Were you ever going to say anything?” I frown and take a deep breath before I decide on how to answer his tirade.

“Yes, I did know.  But coming forward was something you had to do yourself.  If I came forward when we first met, you’d probably have just left for another country and changed your name again.  Maybe if you hadn’t by the time we were going to fight Corypheus, I’d have said something. Maybe. I’m not sure.” Then I pause and smile for a second to myself, allowing some dark humor to cut the tension.  “And it was hard not to. I had to stop myself from correcting all you said about the Wardens. You realise you’d have a better lie if you’d have just said you were in Orlais during the Blight? But instead, you made a lot of holes, Th-om.”  I mispronounce his name on purpose. I see his eyebrows knit together when I do, but he doesn’t say anything.

 

“You’re a smart girl, Catherine.  I imagine this must be part of the things you know where you came from before.”  He says after thinking it over.  _ I think that’s one of the few times he’s used my name.  Other than ‘Lass’ or ‘Inquisitor’. _  “At least I have some small amount of closure before the end.”

“End?”  The statement comes out more acidic than I meant.  “What makes you think you’re just going to hang and be done with it?”

“What?”  He sounds shocked and angry at the idea.  “But my crime is death and I deserve no better!”  The darkness of the cell and his dark hair make it hard to even seen his face.

“Yeah, but you also impersonated a high ranking warden, used the authority to conscript people when you had no right, used the grey warden treaties to procure allies for the Inquisition and it turns out they’re not valid, so i’d say I got some beef with you myself.  Can’t just let Orlais kill you without my two cents.”

 

After I finish my reasoning, Blackwall grows silent, thinking it over.  He slowly rises to his full height. His hands slip slowly down from grabbing the bars and fall to his side.

“Death is the worst punishment, how can you add to that?”  He quietly remarks before looking up with a glare in his eyes.  “And how can you even remove me from here? If you did that, the Inquisition would be corrupt.  You’d be no better than me.” I snort at his accusation as I stand and cross my arms.

“Oh, ho, you think you’re one to talk Mr. Lair-Pants?”  I stop for half a second, talking out loud to myself as I try to think this through  “Wait, I did lie about not knowing about you, so I guess…” I shake my head and continue on.  

“Anyway, I never said  **I** was going to be taking you out, did I?”  Blackwall grimaces to himself as I wave to him as I start to head back down the hall.  “Don’t worry, I’ll be back in a few. Just sit tight.”

  
  


The second I exit the building and into the sun of Val Royeaux, I’m greeted with a pair of solemn and frustrated looking adults.

“Well?”  Cassandra asks, briefly glancing at the closing door for any sign of the trator.

“I’m taking him under my custody and we’re hauling him back.”  I reply untethered. Both Cassandra and Solas look surprised and a little hesitant with my confidence.

“Just like that?”  The Seeker’s eyes flicker to the guards posted around the corner.  “They let you?” I shake my head quickly before focusing my concentration on my Warden.  In a matter of seconds, I stand before the two of them as an elf with short black hair. The blue and silver Grey Warden scout armor fits snuggly.  I have a couple of daggers strapped to my back. As I look at their faces for a reaction, neither of them have changed expressions.  _ I guess they’re used to my shifting now? _

“I’ll get them to give me Rainer, no problem.”   _ My voice sounds like the set I picked in Origins.  I forgot what exactly I picked, but I recognise Commander Shepard’s voice actor.  Feels almost weird to hear Fenrir speak like this. _

“And how do you propose to do that?”  Spock asks with a skeptical tone. I point to the griffin insignia on my chest.

“As the Grey Warden Commander of Ferelden, I think I have the authority to A) nab him since he impersonated one of my guys B) Clarel is dead, so I guess I’m in charge?  C) Right. Of. Conscription. Works like a charm.” I point around the corner I came. There’s a couple garuds in fancy Orlesian masks and armor. Looks kinda silly. “Let’s hope this goes well.”  Cassandra sighs and shakes her head.

“I can only pray this does not get  **you** arrested for whatever reason.”

* * *

 

After a few days, everyone’s back at Skyhold.  Because of the private matter of judging Thom and the nature of his deception, the advisor agreed to hold his judgment in solitude at night.  There’s no people here to watch, no crowd to ask what they want to vote on. Just me and four other people with very different ideas on what to do.  As I uncomfortably squirm in the throne, Blackwall- Thom is hauled in by a couple of Inquisition soldiers. Thom now wears a pair of chains on his wrists.  He doesn’t say much as he approaches the steps. I can hear some minor grumbling. Mostly the bearded man glares at me something fierce.

“You’re corrupt!”  He finally accused at me.  “You used the authority of the Commander for your own gain!  You’re no better than I am!” I purse my lips and briefly morph into Fenrir again.

“It’s not wrong if it’s still me!  You ever wondered how I knew more about the Wardens than you did?  You remember how I said this was all a book to me? Didn’t say it was the first one.”  I turn back into me again, the light of the magic illuminating the room for a second. “ANY-way-”

“But!”  Blackwall tries to cut me off.

“Hush, you opened this can of worms, now you sleep in it!”

“That’s not how the-”

“SSSH!”  I hiss loudly at him.  He finally grows silent as he frowns at all of us.  From my right, Josie steps forward. She holds her face steady, but her voice still rings with shock and a slight tremble.

 

“For judgment this night, Inquisitor, I present Captain Thom Rainer, formerly known to us as Warden Blackwall.  I am sure we are all aware of his… crimes. You were able to invoke the Grey Warden Right of Conscription to bring him to us, but the decision does not have to be the Joining.  The decision of what to do with him is now yours.”

“No.”  I answer quietly.  “We’re all going to agree on something.  It’s not just up to me.”

“You could have just left me there!”  Blackwall agrily pipes up. “I accepted my punishment.  I was ready for all this to end.”

“I dunno if I can let it end that way, buddy.” Blackwall grows silent and judges silently while he watches.  Meanwhile, the rest of the advisors begin talking amongst themselves.

“What should we do?” Josephine asks the group, including me.  “Since the Inquisitor used the Right of Conscription, giving him to the Wardens might be-”

“Give him to the Wardens?” Cullen angrily gruffs.  “That would be a reward as much as he idolizes them! He might have had the balls to come forward, but he spent years on the run.  He betrayed his men, let them take the fall, and murdered a respected general. He's a traitor. Rainer has already accepted his death.  Let him have it.” Everyone grows silent after Cullen’s opinion.  _  It’s not a silence like they agree with him, though.  It’s more like they’re trying to think of their own ideas. _

 

“I wonder,”  Leliana finally muses from under her dark hood.  “Perhaps we could…” She continues to mutter to herself about things like ‘could we continue the lie?’ and ‘we could avoid the fallout of having to retract all we’ve done with the treaties this way…’  Finally, she shakes her head.

“No.”  The Spymistress says with finality.  “Rainer has decided to face his past.  We should let him. The man has done many crimes, but, he is making the effort to redeem himself.  I say we should let him. No Wardens, no lies, no death, just himself.” I watch her face for a few moments.  There’s a sort of understanding look in her eyes as she finishes her thoughts.  _ I see, kind of like what she did when she came to Ferelden.  Leliana was allowed to change herself and wants to give Blackwall the same chance.  Is she softening? I hope so. _

“While I do agree he should be allowed to… at least attempt to change, he should not be allowed to go free.  He ought to face some kind of punishment for his crimes.” Cassandra holds herself stiff as she talks, her arms crossed over her chest, back straight.  “He has masqueraded as a warden, let him become one. If Rainer has truly become a better man, he’ll prove it.”

 

We all keep debating for, like, ten minutes.  Mostly just the advisor giving reasons why X’s idea is bad, or why theirs makes the most sense on logic or moral grounds.  I kind of stopped listening somewhere after three minutes or so. Mostly I’ve just been swimming in my own thoughts, kicking myself for not having talked to Blackwall more, for not have been keeping an eye on him, for letting him run off so suddenly.  

_ Why didn’t I do anything?  I have all this future information and the only thing holding myself back is the fear I could ruin everything…  And I did mention at Haven I ‘only know the outcomes’ of some things. But that didn’t stop me from pointing out Florianne at the get-go did it?  Bah, half of it is I don’t want to tip myself off to Solas. And with the Temple of Mythal coming up, I have no idea how I could change something.  Do I warn Morrigan about the well? Would she believe me? Kiren might and Morrigan trusts her son. Maybe I could get Leliana to send in some scouts or something to try and destroy the Eluvian?  Destroy the other Eluvian at the crossroads so it goes nowhere? Can I just break every single one to mess with Solas? What do I do? What do I- _

“Inquisitor?”  I’m brought to a halt by Josephine's voice.

“Ehwha?”  I mumble, making a poor attempt at looking like I wasn’t zoning out.

“We have come to a decision.”

* * *

 

As the Ambassador reads out the verdict we all agree on, having hammered out the details quickly, Blackwall’s face looks… shocked.   _ In a good, sort of way, I think.  Probably the shock he’s not going to get executed. _

“After the defeat of Corypheus, you, Thom Rainer shall be giving to the Grey Wardens to undergo the Joining as the original Blackwall intended.  We still have need of your abilities, however, this is not a blessing. Until you can regain our trust, you will be under surveillance at all times.  If you attempt to run from us again or your crimes… you will be hanged.” The older man ducks his head in recondnition.

“I understand.”  He replies in a quiet voice.  When Leiana nods her head, the soldiers release him and unlock his manckles.  The old soldier rubs his wrists and stares down at them in thought. “I am grateful for this, Inquisitor  I will serve as long as I-” But before he can finish, I’ve already lept from the throne and hugged him.

“Don’t do that again!  You scared me!” I start admonishing him.  “I know you feel bad about yourself, but that’s no reason to throw yourself at a noose!  You can talk to someone! You’re my friend and I worry about you!” Blackwall seems even more shocked than the first time I hugged him.  He can’t even bring himself to say anything or even move. When I release him, he looks almost overcome with emotion. 

 

And then I whack him on the side of the head.

“That’s for lying to me and everybody else.”  In a second, he looks a little confused. Then I give him a second whack.  “And that’s for running from the law, you jerk.”

“...I deserved that.”

"Yeah, you did, Th-om."  Rainer gives me a look.

"...It's 'Tom'."  He gruffly deadpans at the mispronunciation.

"Whatever, Liar-Pants."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Working on some of the next chapters! Debating on whether more fluff filler or keep chugging with personal quests and finish the three I have left and then do fluff? 
> 
> Friend me on Nintendo Switch if you want! I play a lot of Splatoon and Stardew Valley (excited for whenever the multiplayer 3.0 update comes out!)   
> SW-4599-7911-9583


	65. Detours

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elucian shenanigans, Leliana has a request, and Kieran bonding time!

I lean on my elbows as I look down at the map on the war table.  There’s a bunch of little pyramids and figures dotting the major events that have happened and other minor things I barely paid attention to.  The three advisors, as usual, drone on about our plan of attack now that we’ve got Corphy on the ropes. Even though I’m the Inquisitor and have some minor knowledge (that they know of), they’re not really asking for my input at the moment.   _Of course, I know nothing about battle strategies.  My plan of attack in Fire Emblem is always to be strong so I can hit people really good and win._

“After the Inquisitor dealt with the Duchess- who’s still lounging in our cells, I might add- Corypheus uprooted his major strongholds.  His Roman lieutenant, Caesar, has been pressing on Tevinter’s borders and attempting to weaken the Orleasan armies by attacking them in minor skirmishes at a frequent rate.  But just as his master has fled, Caesar's armies have suddenly stopped attack as though they’ve vanished. He’s moving south towards the Arbor Wilds. It’s clear he never intended to flee.  We seem to have them on the defensive.” As Cullen taps the Arbor Wilds on the map, the other two peer along with me. I hear Josie tap her quill against her clipboard.

“But what on earth are they doing in such a remote area?”  Leliana gives a minor hum before replying to the Ambassador’s question.

“His scouts have been ransacking Elven ruins since the destruction of Haven.  What he seeks inside them continues to elude us. Unless your knowledge can come into play for us again, Inquisitor?”  I quickly straighten up at the direct question, my mouth slightly hanging open as I think of what to say. But as I start to get a syllable out, the Wild’s Queen of Dramatics makes her entrance.

“I would be quite surprised if our Inquisitor had an inkling of what he searches for if none of you do.”  I hear Morrigan make quick strides as her boots click on the tile. I see Leliana’s face change to a much more sour look, her mouth drawn into a thin line.  “Fortunately, I can assist.” The mage finishes as she steps beside me. _Both Leliana and Cullen look annoyed at the intrusion, but Josie seems to be hiding it well.  Or she’s not as miffed as the others._  The three of them wait for me to speak. _I’m just glad her walking into the room didn’t startle me._

“Okay then.  What’cha got?”

“What Corypheus seeks in those forgotten woods is as ancient as it is dangerous.”  She gives a long pause. While she does so, I stare at her to try and get her to continue.  “‘Tis best if I show you.” Morrigan finishes as she turns on her heel and begins to stride out of the room.  The three advisors stare after her in confusion. After glancing back and forth between the waiting Morrigan and the three stunned people, I got toward the giant doors to follow the apostate.

 

The two of us stand before a giant- and I mean giant;  It’s like three of me tall- purple glowing mirror.

“This is an Eluvian.  An elven artifact from long before their empire fell to human greed.  I’ve resorted this one at great cost, but another one lies within the Arbor Wilds.  That is what Corypheus seeks.” I stare up at the ceiling length mirror, wondering how in the heck Morrigan got that thing through the door?   _Unless it was one of Solas’ and it’s been here since we found Skyhold?  I never went into this room._

“Uhhh…”  I don’t really know how to respond.  I know a little more about this thing than she does…  “Neat.” Morrigan gives a small ‘Hm’ of a laugh at my reaction.

“I have heard legends of a forgotten temple within the Arbor Wilds, untouched.  It proved too dangerous to breach and thus I turned elsewhere to claim my prize.  If Corypheus has turned southward, he could succeed where I failed. The Eluvian would be his.”  I walk up and tap at the surface with my finger. It rings with a light sound when I touch it. The surface feels like solid metal, not glass like I expected.

“So what’s this thing do?”  I ask, feigning ignorance. At this, Morrigan gives a triumphant smile as she raises her hands, glowing blue with energy.  In an instant, the mirror in front of me lights up brightly, making me squint. The ringing sound of magic makes me jolt back in shock. _It sounds loud up close._

“AGCHK!”  I yelp out as I stumble backward, almost tripping ungracefully over my own feet.  Morrigan beings to walk to the mirror, about to step into it, when she turns back to me, a Cheshire grin of pride on her face.

“The more appropriate question would be: ‘Where does it lead’?  Come.” She beckons me with her voice as she steps through the moving, blue surface.  When she does, her outline glows white as she vanishes. Hesitantly, I walk closer to the mirror, poking it again more carefully.  It almost jiggles under my finger, like a little bit of pressure could break the surface. It feels like a cross between the surface tension bubble in water and a jelly-like substance.  I know I have to jump through, but my brain won’t let my feet move. _It’s a mirror; mirrors are solid.  I know it’s a magic transport thingy, but… I’ll just hit the metal back?_

  


As I stand there, staring incomprehensibly at the trippy image, I’m suddenly yanked by Morrigan’s hand appearing in front of me.  I’m dragged by my collar into the blue-purple void. Quickly, I squint my eyes shut so my brain doesn’t assume I died. When I come out, Morrigan is standing in front of me with a cross look on her face.  She doesn’t say anything as she lets my shirt go, just stares at me with a look that makes my skin crawl. She then turns, her face relaxing, and gestures at the scenery around us.

It’s all a uniform grey.  Fog rolls in from no cloud I can see.  In front of us are rows and rows of Eluvians.  All of them are dark with time and rust. The only other objects here are some metallic trees decorating the space.  There’s not even a sound except for us. It’s a strange, almost deafening silence. It’s really creepy and unsettling here.  I want to run away back through the mirror.

“If this place once had a name,”  Morrigan says in a quiet, revering tone; her voice echoing around us with no walls for it to bounce from.  “-it has long been lost.” The Witch begins to step forward, small gravel stones crunching as she goes. I fumble after her as my mind tries to comprehend what I’m seeing.  Trying to comprehend that this is… all really real.

“I call it the Crossroads.  It is a place where all Eluvians join, wherever they might be.”  I frown as I try to wrap my dinky, little head around all of this.   _Is this the fade?  Something else? Is there a sixth dimension?  A dimension in-between the Fade and reality? How can I exist here?  Just what is it?_

“How in the heck did people make some kind of… alternate train station dimension?!”  Morrigan takes my brain exploding with confusion is stride.

“Who can say?”  She answers with a shrug as she looks around.  “Formed from the fabric of time and space, perhaps.”   _So it’s like the TARDIS?_

“The ancient elves left no roads, only ruins hidden in far-flung corners.  This is how they traveled between them.” _I wonder what the traffic would have been like during Solas’ heyday?  Busy? Sparse? What kind of people walked here? The Evanuris? Their slaves?_  Meanwhile, Morrigan has kept talking while my brain continues to unravel.

“Many of the Eluvians are either dark, corrupt, or unusable.  Some may be opened from this side, but only a few.” Now, the witch finally stops and watches me.  “I take it you have many questions.”

 

I continue gaping around us as my brain whirls on overdrive.

“How… how did you find this place?”  Morrigan answers my quaking voice with a calm one.

“My travels have brought Kieran and I to many strange places.  The Crossroads is such a one. At one point in our lives, it was a sanctuary.  Some of the mirrors do not lead to our world. The ancients were nothing if not resourceful…”  She finishes with an amused smile.

“But why does that ugly, gross, maniac want to come here?  This doesn’t feel like the fade…”

“That’s because this is not the Fade.  It is very close. And someone with enough power might be able to tear down the barrier between them…”

“And then Corphy would enter the fade again.”  I finish her statement. Morrigan gives a slow and grave nod.

 

“You would be correct.  He has taken the last of his forces to bolster his chances as well as his own otherworldly ally.  Perhaps he is so desperate for this chance he is willing to use everything he has?” Now she begins to walk to the Eluvian we came from, as well as dragging me by the wrist.  “You have made Corypheus very, very desperate, Inquisitor. We must work together to stop him and soon.” As soon as the last letter leaves her mouth, she pulls me through the blue jello transporter.

 

* * *

 

“Inquisitor, one moment, if I may.”  At the end of me passing on Morrigan’s tidbit, the war meeting is adjourned.  Before I turn around to leave, Leliana stops me. The early morning sunlight streams through the window behind her.  It casts a golden halo around her silhouette and the dust floating in front of her face is visible. The Spymistress steps to me from around the war table, a piece of parchment in her hands.  The light from behind her lets me see the ink written. The words are a small, cursive script that I can’t make out from back here. “I have a question for you that may help with a… personal matter.”  The doors closing behind Cullen and Josie leave the two of us in a quiet room.

“Sure, what’s up?”  The Orlesian bard clears her throat before she begins to explain.

“I have received a letter from Divine Justinia.” She explains, gesturing at the document in hand.  “I have heard of this; a posthumous letter. Early deaths often lead loose ends…” She mutters the last one mostly to herself.  As she speaks, Leliana moves closer to the Orlais side of the map, pointing at a spot with a gloved finger.

“I am to go to Valence,”  She taps the spot a couple times to point it out for me.  “-a small village on the Waking Sea. There is something hidden there.”  I peer closer at the map while Leliana hums to herself in thought. She removes her hand and brings it to pull a strand of hair from her face.

“Why Va-lance though?”  I ask, butchering the Orlesean pronunciation about as badly as I did in school.

“It is a place that holds meaning for her.  Justinia served as the Revered Mother there for many years… though she was Dorathea then.”  There’s a split-second pause she takes between ‘served’ and ‘as’. _Almost reminds me of some recordings I’ve heard of Jackie Kennedy speaking._  “And it is pronounced ‘Va-lence’, Inquisitor.”  There’s a tiny tilt to her hood as she looks at me with an amused smile.

“I thought you told Josie you spoke Orlesean?”  I guilty glance elsewhere as I shove my hands into my hoodie pockets.

“I never said I was good at it…”  This comment makes my Spymistress laugh, a very happy and light one. _The type of laugh I heard a lot in Origins, but not so much here.  It’s nice that she’s feeling better._  “In any case, I’ll help you in any way that I can, Leliana.”

 

My old friend nods in approval.

“Excellent.  I was hoping you would accompany me to Valence before we go to the Arbor Wilds.”  I squint in confusion as I try to figure out the travel times and distances and if we’d make to the battle in time.

“Why before?”  Leliana then traces a path from Skyhold, to Valence, to the Arbor Wilds on the map.  

“It will take a bit of time to gather the soldiers, noble support, spies, and the things we need for an attack in place.  We have allies from many places in Orlais, Ferelden, and the Free Marches. Getting to a small forward camp in a dense forest takes time, no?  If we were to travel together as the rest of the advisors left to head for Valence, we should make it to the Arbor Wilds right as everything is in position.”  I slowly nod as I take her explanation. It seems to make sense. I trust her judgment. I don’t think she’d suggest going if we couldn’t get to the Temple in time.

“Sounds like you’ve been thinking about this a lot.”  Her clothes sway gently as she walks for the large doors ahead of us.

“Of course.”  Then she pauses, her right foot halted mid-step.  “And one more thing: If what is hidden in Valence is as valuable as I think, we’re not going to be the only ones looking, Inquisitor.  Do not let your guard down despite the quaint setting.”

* * *

 

The main hall is bustling with nobles, workers, and servants as usual while I make my stride towards the rotunda.  As I start to make my way through people in huge skirts and masks, I notice someone near the entrance. I change paths to investigate and upon getting closer, I see that it’s Kieran standing there.  His head is tilted up to look at the top of the tower. He’s got a hand to shield the sun from his eyes but he’s still squinting.

“What’cha doin’?”  I ask as I stand beside him to try and figure out what he’s looking at.

“Studying.”  He points a finger in the direction of Leliana’s tower.  Sure enough, there are quite a few birds perched on the railing or flying around.  “Mother says I need to study a raven in order to become one.” He pauses, a frown creasing his face as he lowers his head.

“But it’s quite hard…”  The kid grumbles. I nod a couple times in understanding.

“Same, dude.  I still have no idea how magic works.  I just wanna be a dinosaur, man, is that too much to ask?”  I hear Kieran give a snicker.

 

“You’re funny.”  I puff myself up and put my hands on my hips.

“Well, thank you!”  He laughs again at my cheeky grin.  “But, you know, it’d probably be easier to study them up close and personal, you know?”  The young boy glumly scuffs his foot on the tile.

“Mother won’t let me explore.  She doesn’t want me to… bother people.”  I give a little pout of my own. _Poor kid, he just seems curious…  And just studying all the time isn’t that good for him.  He needs to have a little fun. I suppose a little peek wouldn’t hurt._  I lean closer to Kieran to whisper to him.

“If I take you to the rookery, will you promise not to tell your mom?”  His eyes light up in glee at the suggestion.

“You will?”  He asks, excitement mixed with a little hesitation.

“Sure!  I’m the **Inquisitor** , I can totally do that.  A little field trip never hurt anyone-”  Before I can finish the last syllable, Kieran is already darting for the stairs.  I start half-jogging after the kid.

“Wait, I need a pinky promise for this, kid, I don’t want your mom to eat me!”

 

As we walk out into the courtyard, Kieran holds the raven feather in his fingers, turning it around and around.

“So, didja have fun?”  Kieran nods happily as he carefully puts the feather away.  “So why do you like ravens so much, anyway?” Kieran turns his eyes back upward as he thinks, the sunlight gleaming off his dark hair.

“I want to fly.”  He answers carefully.  “Mother has seen many amazing things as a bird.  I want to see, too.” _Well, I suppose that’s a good a reason as any._  As the two of us stop, Kieran seems like he doesn’t know what to do.  He keeps looking at the entrance to the garden but doesn’t move.

“You okay?”  He has a sad look after I prompt him.

 

“...There aren’t many children here.”  Kieran says, looking at the dirt. “I don’t like studying all the time…  It’s important to help me control my power, but…” He trails off. My heart aches for my kid.

“Mother never let me play with other children at court.  Not that they wanted to, anyway. People fear what they don’t understand.  They would always play hide and seek in the garden. Sometimes I’d watch them.  When they saw me, some of them wanted to play with me, but then they didn’t.” _That’s it!_

“Come on, let’s go play!”  The tiny old godchild looks at me confused.

“Play?”

“Yeah!  Let’s go play hide and seek.  You’re a kid! You should get to do kid things sometimes.  Not focus on the serious end of the world stuff. Like, yeah, future prep is important, but so is the now.”

 

Again, Keiran looks excited, but suddenly, he stops.

“It’s not as fun when there are only two people…”  I glance at the tavern for a split second.

“S’okay.”  I nod, taking him by the shoulder and leading him onward.  “I know a guy.” For a second, Kieran looks giddy. Just as I put my hand on the door, I stop when I hear all the laughter inside.  I turn to my left to look him in the face.

“But seriously, you need to promise not to tell.  Morrigan will probably kill me for taking you into a bar, even just to go up the stairs.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I swear I have it all in my head but when I go to write, it just doesn't happen all at once like it did when I started. Thank you all for your patience as I mosey along. =)


	66. Hide and Seek

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hide and Seek with Kieran and Leliana!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Been working on this chapter bit by bit. I wrote this to fulfill my wish there was more Kieran content in the game other than the two scenes with him. Hope you guys like it!

“Hey Bull, are you and Krem busy?  I need your help with somethin’.” The Qunari looks up from his drink, looking at both me and the kid beside me.  Bull’s leaning back casually in the wooden tavern chair, almost like it’s a recliner.  _ I’m not sure if he’s watching anything since there’s barely anybody in here.  _  Krem sits rigidly in his chair near Bull’s blind spot.  He looks a little guilty. Probably because I caught him sitting on top of the back listening intently to Maryden.

“Well, no, not at the moment.”  Bull rumbles as he glances about the room.  “What’cha need, Boss?”

“I need people for a few rounds of Hide and Seek.”  I see Bull’s eyebrow quirked in amusement.

“Seriously?  Me? Don’t think it’d be much of a game.”

 

“You and Krem.  Come on, please?  Kieran and I can’t just play by ourselves!  It’d get pretty old quick. I need more people.”  Bull turns an eye to the boy beside me.

“Kieran?”   Kieran stares at Iron Bull with a quizzical look mixed with awe on his face.   _ Has he ever even seen a Qunari? _  I quickly point between the two of them.

“Bull, this is Kieran.  Kieran, this is Iron Bull.  Bull’s a good friend of mine and works for the Inquisition.”  I see Bull take on a much more relaxed posture when he notices Kieran staring at him.

“Hey, nice to meet’cha.”  Kieran shyly looks away for a second before glancing at Iron Bull again.

“You’re very tall…”  He says. The Iron Bull gives a booming laugh.

“Yeah, that’s usually the first thing people notice.”  At Bull’s friendly demeanor, Kieran quickly grows more comfortable.

“I noticed your blood.”  Now Bull and I look at Kieran in alarm.  “It doesn’t belong to your people.” It grows quiet while the Qunari takes in what Keiran just said.  I’m a little worried that he’ll mistrust him like he sort of does Cole, but then Kieran breaks the awkward silence.

“You also have big and scary horns.”  Bull quietly nods in agreement while he examines the kid.  Quickly, I give Kieran a side hug and mess up his hair a little.

“Ah, kids say the darndest things, huh?”  Kieran giggles from under my hand. “Think you’ve been reading too many books, kiddo.  So, anyway, can I borrow you and Krem for a little bit? Pretty please?” The Qunari twists his face a little as he thinks.

“Hmmm…”

“Please?”  I nudge Kieran a little bit.

“Please, Ser Iron Bull?”  Thankfully, this breaks his resolve.  With a slight huff, he gets up from the chair.

“Alright, alright.  Just go easy on me. Not the best at hiding with these.”  He points to his horns. “Hey, Krem! Come on, we’re playing hide and seek.”  The Charger’s Lieutenant, who’d been listening to the entire time, has a crooked grin on his face as he rises and salutes Bull.

“Aye, aye, Chief.”

 

I turn back to Kieran.

“I have one other person to ask before we start.  Do you wanna come with me upstairs or stay down here?”

 

“Gosh, I have no idea where in the world Kieran is hiding!”  I say in a loud, exaggerated voice as I scout the loft of the stables.  I hear a muffled giggle from behind a hay bale. Cole points to the flash of dark hair sticking out from behind the straw.

“But he’s there.  You know this.” Cole sounds a little perplexed.  Granted, he’s still getting the hang of Hide and Seek without using his abilities.  His first idea of a hiding spot was behind a tree, forgetting that his hat was visible.

“Are you sure?”  I say outrageously again.  “I don’t see him anywhere!”  I take the opportunity to lean closer.

“Cole, play along.  We’re here to have fun, not to win.  I’m letting him be a kid.” Cole looks back to Kieran’s hiding spot and back to me, a new understanding in his gaze.

“Warm.  Protective.  Sadness. You care for him.  You want him to be happy. You feel it is your fault he’s not able to have a normal childhood.”  There’s a rustle as Kieran moves about.  _ I don’t think he’s heard us. _  I nod to Cole and give him a thumbs up.

“Welp, I guess we’ll have to search somewhere else, Cole.  I just can’t find Kieran at all. You sure you haven’t seen him?”  Cole now shakes his head back and forth.

“I do not know where Kieran is hiding.”  I take a few measured and loud steps to the ladder when after a couple seconds there’s more movement from the hay bales.

“Here I am.”  Kieran announces, now climbing out of his spot, hay stuck all over his clothes and hair.  I give him a smile and hold up my hand.

“Dude, you had me fooled!  Kieran, you sure you haven’t played before?  Gimme five.” Kieran lightly gives me a high five before descending down the ladder to a waiting Bull and Krem.

“Hey, there’s the kid.”  Krem greets us before giving Bull a smile.  “Looks like you’re up again, Chief.” Beside him, the Qunari frowns.

“I’m always up…”

“I thought you were a spy?”

“Hey!  Not anymore!  Besides, it was easier when I was a kid and didn’t have-”

“Kiiieran!”  Morrigan’s voice rings out through the stable yard.  We all turn to find the apostate from the Korcari Wilds walking purposely to us.  “Where have you been? I assumed you were attending your studies?” She asks in a tone as she looks at her son.  Kieran, undeterred, turns to his mother with excitement.

“I was playing, Mother.”  Morrigan quirks an eyebrow.  As Kieran keeps talking rapidly, his mother licks her thumb to rub some dirt off his cheek.  “The Inquisitor showed me the Spymaster’s ravens! They were amazing!” Morrigan nods her head as he keeps talking, her eyes flickering to me briefly.  I flash a smile and wave, hoping she doesn’t hate me.

“Oh?”

“The Nightingale trained them to deliver messages all over the South.  She even let me have a feather. I’m closer to becoming like you, Mother!”  Kieran’s mother plucks a piece of straw from his black hair. 

“And does this have anything to do with the ravens, Inquisitor?”

“We were playing Hide and Seek.”  The boy answers for me. Before Morrigan has a chance to comment, Kieran keeps going.   _ He’s practically grinning ear to ear.  Almost different from the shy boy I saw by the main hall today. _  “I had fun today. And I made friends!”  I see Morrigan watch him a few moments before giving in and sighing.

“I came to find you because your supper is ready.  After you finish, you shall be taking a bath, little man.”  She adds, plucking another piece of straw for emphasis. “And since you are tired, you shall not need to finish your studies tonight.”  Kieran gives her a gentle hug at not having to pick up another tome today. Morrigan looks at him fondly before setting him on his way. When he leaves, it’s just myself, Krem, and Bull left.  The witch points at us in turn.

“None of you shall breath a word of this.”  Both mercenaries nod quickly before shuffling off to the tavern.  In the end, it’s just me and Morrigan left. As she turns to go in the same direction as Bull, she stops and glances at me.  “I thank you for watching Kieran, Inquisitor. I... am grateful he has someone here to spend time with.”

“It’s nothin.”  I reply.  _ I sort of see where she’s coming from since she wants him to be protected because of his soul.  Since people would definitely be scared of an archdemon soul in a kid with possible mage powers. But that was a decision I made in the game.  That’s a button I clicked. I owe it to Kieran to let him have fun. It’s my fault he has nightmares and has to deal with things no kid should. _

* * *

 

We enter a small, dimly lit church.  The white tile is lit by small bowels of fire.  Marble pillars and arches decorate the walls and doors.  I see large statues depicting Chantry figures. From my angle, I can’t see much of their faces up close.  In the distance, there’s a large statue of Andraste in a flowing gown with her arms crossed over her chest.  _  So that’s who people say I’m the Herald for.  The statue looks pretty and peaceful. If she was what the Chantry says she was, it’s sad she had to die at the pyre.  Nobody should go through a death like that. _  Leliana kneels in the center of the aisle, looking at Andraste.

“It’s just as I remember it.”  She says in a calm voice. I glance around briefly at the large, red banners depicting a golden sun.

“You’ve been here before, Leliana?”

“After the Blight ended, I came here to see Justinia.  She was just Deothora then, a revered mother.” As she slowly rises, she adds.  “It was a place of comfort. It is good to see it untouched.”

“It’s very pretty.”  I agree. At the sound of our voices, a pair of footsteps hurriedly approaches us from an entryway.  A woman in long Chantry robes appears. She looks concerned and perplexed as she approaches us, but soon it melts into recognition as she hurries to-

“Leliana?”  She asks a question to my friend in French.  By the upturn in her voice and a couple words I know, I get she’s asking a question.  Leliana walks up to her with a pleasant look on her face. She too, responds in French.  

 

They both speak much faster than I ever learned how, but at least the pronunciation is closer to European French.  I didn’t learn the Quebec dialect in High School. The only words I catch for certain from Leliana are: Natalie, Val Royeaux, what, and I.  Natalie responds with: Justinia, dead, I have, me. Natalie moves to embrace her ‘friend’. My Spymistress meets my eyes and shakes her head.  I know it’s to not trust Natalie, but I don’t know what they’re talking about! I give a bunch of quick signals like shrugging, gesturing to my mouth, and holding up my hands in confusion.  I see a subtle nod from her with a slight smile. As soon as the hug has ended, Leliana walks up to me and gestures to her friend.

“Inquisitor, this is Natalie, a trusted friend.”  She’s switched back to English, thankfully. Natalie, however, hasn’t.  I only catch: Inquisitor, what, and you. After she ends, Leliana chuckles to herself at Natalie’s and my confused faces.  She says something to the mother of: Inquisitor, speak, Orlesean. Natalie quickly understands and bows on a knee before me.  I back up and glance in confusion between the two of them.

“My lady, forgive me for not recognizing you earlier.”

“Uhhh… s’okay?”  The lady doesn’t rise.  She looks confused. Is English not her first language or is she playing me?

“It is fine, Nataline, you can stand.  Listen,” She goes on once the mother has risen and brushed the dust from her robes.  “-there is something hidden here. Something Justinia left for me.”

“Oh, really?  What is it?”  _ Thank god they switched to English. _  Leliana gives a playful shrug.

“I don’t know, but we’ll find it.  I’m curious to see what brought us all here.”  

 

As she speaks, Leliana pulls out a neatly folded letter from her pocket.

“Justinia left a letter for me with instructions.  They were cryptic. ‘Always remember that faith sprung from a barren branch’.”  She quotes aloud with Natalie peeking over her shoulder in an attempt to read it.  I don’t know why, but Leliana allows her despite not trusting her. “‘That light has no fear of the darkness’.  And ‘Above all, strength lies in an open heart’.” Natalie is quick with an eager suggestion.

“She must be referring to something in here.  Let’s look around.” Leliana nods and motions for Natalie to follow her.  “Nataline you search this side with me.” SHe points to the left side of the hall.

“Catherine, could you search the other side for clues?”  I give a firm nod.

“Roger dodger!”  I quickly spin on my heel, knowing exactly what to look for, but also not wanting to do it too fast.  I stall by glancing at paintings and carvings while listening to Leliana’s voice from across the room.

“Do they still sing verses from the Benedictions every Friday?  That Canticle was always Justinia’s favorite.” The hesitation in Natalie’s voice is clear from across the room.

“...Yes, of course!  We’d never give up the traditions of our most beloved Divine!”  Leliana gives a reply that I can’t catch and they stop speaking for a few moments.  After a minute or two, Leliana picks the conversation back up.

“I used to stare up at the Breach sometimes.  It was beautiful, in its way.”

“It was beautiful.”  Natalie concurs. Leliana’s next question has a chipper tone to it, hiding her suspicion.

“Have you seen it by sunrise?”

“When the sun rose through it, it split into what looked like a thousand suns in a broken mirror.”

“Yes.”  My friend agrees.  “Spectacular, isn’t it?”  The two stop taking and I make my way to the rosebush painting.  Impulsively, I pull the thing below it without calling attention to it.

“Hey, Leliana!  I found a doohickey thingamajig!”

* * *

 

After my voice echoes around the empty church, two pairs of heels click on the tile to my location.  The two women now stand behind me, examining the painting closely. Leliana only takes a couple of seconds before she exclaims ‘Ah’.

“I was in the cloister in Lothering when the Blight began.  There was a lot of fear back then. No one knew what would happen.  Whether we would live or die. And then one morning, I found a single bloom on a dead rose bush, and I thought, ‘Even in the midst of all this, life finds a way.  The Maker hasn’t abandoned us’.” I’ve turned around at this point, watching the look on Leliana’s face as she speaks. She’s got a serene look on her face as she remembers her vision.  When she mentions the Maker, I notice Natalie’s eyes narrow in response.

The three of us move into the small chamber with the Andraste statue.  I immediately notice the second switch on the left side of the room. It’s under a stylized painting of a woman being stabbed through the chest, her heart a prominent red against the grey and white.  The third was a little harder to find. It’s located at the statue’s base near a fire bowl. I had to get my face close to the flame. Luckily, I didn’t get burnt. Meanwhile, something groans behind me after I pull it.

“Looks like we opened something.”  My spymistress comments as she strides to a large painting of Andraste and a few cowering Tevinters.  She feels her hand along the surface, finding a seam in the center. She pulls to reveal the painting is a door; I only notice the handles as the doors swing open.  Behind it is a different painting of Andraste. It rises to revlea a small alcove with a tiny, golden box. I start to enter the room with the assumption Leliana’s behind me, but then I hear a slam in the main chamber.  There’s the metallic echo of a knife being drawn.

“Sorry to keep you waiting.”  I spin on my heel and take a couple long strides to reach her.

 

“Hey, hey, hey, hey!  What are you doing, Leliana?!”

“I’m protecting us.”  She says in a cold voice without turning her head.  “They never sing the Benedictions here on Fridays, Natalie.  Something so simple and you got it so wrong.”  _ Leliana seems so much more frightening right now.  She almost sounds like a villain right now. _

“I wanted to believe, but you were lying from the start.”  Natalie just glares and doesn’t speak. “Keep that mouth shut if you must, dear.  You’ve already told me everything I need to know. The pickleweed burs on you hem, talking of the sun rising through the Breach.  It all points to Morelle in the Dales. That’s Grand Cleric Victorie’s bastion. She sent you, didn’t she?” Again, Natalie says nothing, which gives me time to interject.

“So what’s a Grand Cleric want with this place?”  Leliana gives a short laugh.

“She sent Natalie to see what Justinia was hiding, no?”  Finally, Natalie speaks with the knife close to her neck.

“The Inquisition has turned Thedas from the true Chantry.  It holds up a heretical demon to a higher power. It must be stopped.”

 

“Stop us?  You must be joking.”

“Victoire is loved by many and respected.  The Inquisition has many enemies who would wish that…”  She pauses and glares at me. “Thing dead along with your organization.”  I feel that stabbing fear I felt when the Clerics in Val Royeaux tried to burn me.  This is the same way of thinking.

“I was called to serve the Grand Cleric.”  Natalie continues. “I am willing to die for my beliefs.”  Not she turns her gaze to Leliana with an angry fire in her eye.

“At least I still know what I believe!” 

 

“Leliana, please let her go.”  Both woman look shocked in their own ways.  I can see Leliana’s grip on Natalie waver, but she regains her hold.

“Are you joking?  The Grand-”

“-Is one person.  We’re bigger than this.   **You’re** bigger than this.”  I cut her off with a firm voice.  I don’t want her to slip any farther down this dark path.  Silently, she lowers the knife.

“Run.”  Leliana demands of Natalie.  “Tell your mistress she has a choice.  The Inquisition is coming.” Both Leliana and I watch as Natalie wastes no time in running down the hall and out the large doors.

* * *

 

“She’s…  She’s releasing me.”  Leliana quietly mutters as she stares down into the small box.  The gift from Justinia. To lay down her burdens. The Orlesian bard says nothing as she thinks, her hands tracing the design on the sides of the box with gentle reverence.  “The Divine has a long reach, but it is always her Left Hand that stretches out. A thousand lies. A thousand deaths. Her commands, but my conscience that bore the consequences.”  It all starts to click into place with what the spirit said in the Fade.

“‘I’m sorry, I failed you’.  She was worried she was using you like Marjolaine had.  It’s okay Leliana. I know it’s all been a big part of your life, but you need to let this darkness go.  Let Justinia go.” The older woman is quiet for a few moments as she thinks, taking in my words. When she nods, she has a calm smile on her face.

“If not for you, I’d have killed Natalie and called it a good thing.”  She gently closes the box and leaves the room. “Thank you for showing me what is right when I couldn’t see it for myself.”  I approach her with the intent to hug her, but she continues walking to the doors.

“You had me worried there for a ‘sec, Leliana.”  There’s a faint smile as she opens one of the doors.

“Come, we must go to the Arbor Wilds.  Our assault should be ready within the next few days.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next up is the Temple of Mythal! Also, that Nintendo Direct though. I'm so excited. New Animal Crossing! Katamari Damacy! A remake of a Gamecube game I rented all the time as a kid; Final Fantasy: Crystal Chronicles.
> 
> Nintendo has a hold on my bank account and I'm fine with that.


	67. Abandon Hope All Ye Who Enter Here

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Inquisitor Catherine tries to navigate an ancient elven temple while trying to play it cool.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey Lucy, I'm Hooooome!
> 
> Thanks for all your patience! Hope you haven't forgotten about me!

“This place is too quiet…”  
“Varric, don’t say that!  You’ll jinx us!” I hiss at the dwarf, but he’s right.  The temple is eerily quiet. Too quiet. The sunlight blinking through the treetops makes the stone and columns a golden color.  Morrigan leads the way down the tall and narrow hall. Just as she reaches a balcony, she stops at the railing. She motions for my companions and I to come over, but keeps a finger over her lips.  Silently, we all watch as Corypheus and Gaius Julius Caesar, along with a handful of Venatori and Wardens, stand down with a few elven sentinels.

“Na melana sur, banallen!”  The elf standing on the head of the bridge growls at the ten-foot monstrosity before him.  As Corypheus tosses one of their dead aside, Caesar steps over the body with an arrogant confidence.

“It seems they still seek to fight us.”  Julius Caesar says with a thick accent to his ‘common’ that I can't identify.  _  Considering Hollywood, I keep expecting a high-class British voice to come from him _ .  I can only see the back of Caesar's armor from here.  It looks like something I’ve seen Romans wear in movies.  I barely make out the trim of his senator's toga from here.  I can tell the armor is made of leather; the skirt and gauntlets say as much.  But over his torso, he wears a breastplate made of metal with a Tevinter design on the back.  His sandals wrap up his legs, which I find odd.  _  You’d think a military general would wear boots of some kind?  Varric could just shoot him in the leg and he’d be out. _

But I’m drawn from staring at the historical figure under me and start watching the gangly, ugly, ill-proportioned, candy monster before us.

“They are but remnants,”  Corypheus says in a deep, grating voice as he steps to his foes.  His arms are too long for his body, his shoulders hunched and small.  Heck, he looks like he got pulled through a taffy machine at the Wonka Factory.  “They will not keep us from the Well of Sorrows.” Beside me, Morrigan makes a very confused look.  Meanwhile, the statues before the Tevinter Darkspawn start humming and giving off a pulsing blue glow.

“Be honored!  Witness death at the hands of a new god!”  Corypheus yells triumphantly as he takes a few more menacing steps.  As soon as he crosses the threshold, however, it activates. Two beams of energy shoot out to him, the energy intensifying.  I can see him trying to grab at one of the elves, but as soon as his hand is outstretched, there’s a blinding flash. The only things left where he was standing is a burning scorch mark and a lot of blood.

“Ew…”  I mumble to myself hoping to not draw attention.  “He just straight up exploded.” The elves who set off the magic trap were knocked back in the shockwave.  Caesar and his men, on the other hand, have already gotten up and are halfway to the doors by now.

 

As my group and I descend the steps, I stick as close as I can to Morrigan and Solas.  I see Bull eyeing the dead Wardens as we cautiously step around them. As I look down the walkway, the last of Caesar's men have gone through the tall doors.

“Uhhh, guys?”  The Qunari calls our attention, his ax out as he backs away from a groaning corpse.  “The fuck is this?” The body starts groaning like a zombie and cracking as it thrashes and writhes into a kneeling position.  It moves like a twisted marionette as its head slowly moves skyward. Then a rain of black puke explodes from the Warden.

“What the crap?!”  I immediately turn away from the sight and hide behind Solas’ robe.  Morrigan just stares in bewildered horror.

“It cannot be…”  She says aloud as she too, backs away from the puking, gross thing that’s started to elongate it’s body.

“That’s it, we’re moving!”  Bull yells and we all immediately follow his direction.

“Don’t have to tell me twice, tiny!”

* * *

  
  


Thankfully, the doors manage to hold tight against the direct blast of the red lyrium dragon.

“Thank Jesus there’s a lock on this thing.”  I pray aloud as a glow emitted from the doors; the magic sealing them shut.  Now that the dragon and fighting are gone, this place is quiet again. I can hear the wind and birds echo through the halls.  The only other sound is Morrigan’s boots on the dirt as she walks to observe our surroundings.

“At last, Mythal’s Sanctum.  Let us proceed before Corypheus interferes.  I frown at her and open my mouth to object, but Bull cuts me off before I can get a word out.

“If he’s here for a mirror, why’d he say he’s after a ‘Well of Sorrows’?”  Morrigan scratches her head as she falters.

“I… am uncertain of what he referred to.”

“Well whatever it is, I don’t think it’s made of sweets and joy and... joy-ness.  Or candy."  As usual, the joke is only for my benefit.

“Err… no.”  Morrigan slowly says to my comment.  “It seems an eluvian is not the prize Corypheus seeks.”  Now she begins to stride briskly ahead of the rest of us.

“But whatever this well maybe, we must obtain it before either he or Caesar-”

“Are you really sure about just heading in straight like that?”  

Morrigan now glowers at me as she turns around, the sunlight behind her making her features haloed.

“You would not wish to stop your enemy?”  She asks in an accusatory tone. I gesture behind us to the door with my thumb.

“You saw that thingy that made Corpy go boom!  What if we set off more booby traps like that? What if those elves turned on more traps as they retreated?  I don’t want to be walking along and next thing you know arrows pop out of the walls and I get sliced up by swinging blades.”  The witch gives a huff as her hands go to her hips.

“Inquisitor, I doubt a temple dedicated to one of the elven gods would contain a multitude of traps.  They came here to pray, not because of their greed for treasure.” I shrug at her and meekly trudge along as the rest of the group follows her.  I notice Solas glaring at her out of the corner of his eye.

“Yeah but the pyramids were full of traps and so was that place where the Jesus cup was hidden in Indiana Jones.  And if I know temples, that means there’s lots of traps, puzzles, locked doors, small keys, a couple bosses, and a key item somewhere in here.”  I see Varric holding Bianca as he glances about him.

“I might agree with you on this one, Dots.  I’ve seen a lot of places hold more than they should.  Ever told you about the time Hawke broke into Chateau Haine?  That place was a nightmare of traps.”

* * *

 

I keep swiping between the photo of ‘Nike of Samothrace’ and the busted statue of Mythal.  It pretty much looks like that statue of Nike. The legs are in the same pose, the wings, head, the drape of the cloth.  The only difference is Mythal has a helmet, bat wings, and tall armored boots.  _  Almost like a strange black market knockoff.  Like Crazy Redd invaded Dragon Age. _

“Why would  _ this  _ be here?”  Morrigan asks in an incredulous tone at the new statue.  This one depicts a large wolf, sitting and gazing. I go up to touch the stone as Morrigan keeps rambling to herself.  “It depicts the god Fen’Harel. In elven tales, he tricks their gods into sealing themselves away in the beyond for all time.”  The stone is still smooth, despite how long it must have sat here untouched. There’s no ivy, moss, or dust on the surface. It’s almost like it’s brand new.  Behind me, Morrigan is now pacing back and forth, her voice rising as her pace increases in her confusion.

“Setting Fen’Harel in Mythal’s greatest sanctum is as blasphemous as painting Andraste naked in the Chantry!”  Off to the side, Varric and Bull start to snicker between themselves at the image. “‘Tis baffling!” I back up a few paces to get a view of the full statue.

“I dunno.  Maybe it’s simpler than that.  Maybe Mythal was friends with the guy?  Maybe the statue came first and Fen’Harel legends popped up after?  Maybe she just liked dogs?” I see Solas agreeing with my comments- probably because it’s opposing Morrigan- until I get to ‘dogs’.  He makes a face at that.

“Fen’Harel is depicted as a wolf, da’len.”  He says in a slightly sour tone. I glanced between Fen’Harel and his statue.

“But it looks like a giant German Shepherd.”  Since I know his little secret, I can see the annoyance in Solas’ eyes at being called a dog.  I’d laugh, but that would make Solas even more red.

“Regardless, Lady Morrigan, for all your ‘knowledge’  you cannot resist giving legend the weight of history.  The wise do not mistake one for the other.”

 

Solas’ little lecture falls on deaf ears as Morrigan eagerly takes in our surroundings some more.  I note we’re heading for that floor puzzle up ahead.

“This temple was constructed in an age when elves, not men, dominated this land.  They believed Mythal a goddess of justice. The ancient elves came here to request judgment.  After they proved their worth.” As the witch clicks her heels down the steps, Solas pauses at the head of the old stairs.  He lets his staff hit the stone floor before resume his walk. The loud echo bounces everywhere between the marbles before dissipating.

“Silence has reigned here for time beyond memory.”

 

I hear Varric make a ‘Hmm’ sort of sound when we all reach the first puzzle.

“So anybody got a clue what this is?  Why these tiles are different from the rest?”  I see beside us, Bull narrows his eyes as he looks at the raised rectangle.

“This thing say anything about that well?”  At this request, both Solas and Morrigan step forward to the walls and peer at writing I can’t see from here.

“Atish’all vir abelasan.”  The older elf reads aloud fluidly.  “It means ‘Enter the path of the Well of Sorrows’.”  While Solas rattles off the translation in mere seconds, Morrigan taps her chin and she mumbles in thought.

“There is something about knowledge.”  She thinks and reads in a slow and quiet voice.  “Respectful or pure. Shiven, Shivennen…” Now she shrugs and she frowns at her own lack of understanding.

“‘Tis all I can translate.  That in mentions the Well is a good omen.”

“Or a bad one,”  Varric grumbles behind them.  “We don’t even really know what this well is.  And a name like ‘Well of Sorrows’ doesn’t sound like a good thing.”  Morrigan and Solas turn around. Morrigan looks more annoyed. Solas seems cooly regarding everything.

“Because Corypheus seeks it, so must we.”

“Okay, I agree with that, but maybe we should use a little bit of caution?  It might be something useful but ends up sucking out our souls or something.”  Morrigan opens her mouth to argue some more, but I don’t think we can wait any longer.   _ The more we bicker the closer Julius and his cronies get to Abelas. _  Sighing to myself, I quickly walk up the steps to the metal grates.  The first one hums as soon as I step on it; the metal now glowing with blue light.  Everyone has now grown quiet as I start to walk around the square, and then up, down, and across for the back; the tiles humming as blue lights follow my footsteps.  _  Thank goodness for my tiny legs.  It takes me two long strides to cross these.  At least that makes up for the fact I’m not pausing as I’m walking.  I’d try jumping for one to another, but I don’t want my ankle to get caught in one of the holes and start again. _  When I reach my starting point, there’s a louder sound as all the tiles glow brightly.  There a sound of a door opening up the stairs beyond.

 

“It would seem the temples magicks are still in place…”  Morrigan thinks to herself as I step down from the platform.  “You have done well, Inquisitor. Let us see what lies deeper in.”  The witch giddily goes up the steps we came down, two at a time.

“I literally just talked about using caution with this stuff and you go and walk around without a word, Dots?”  Varric asks in a slightly worried tone as we take up the back. I can only meekly shrug and avoid his look.

“It’s a floor puzzle?  I’ve done so many it’s basically instinct at this point.  And, besides, we’d be stuck in the room if I didn’t and those two were probably going to sit there translating and arguing over it all day.”

“Point taken.”

* * *

 

As soon as the last of the Templars are dead, I scoot as close as I dark to the edge of the crater in the floor.  It almost looks like a fissure, narrow and long. There’s fire on the edges from the bomb or whatever Julius was given to make the hole.  It’s dark and I can’t see the bottom at all. As I lean over as far as I dare, Morrigan's hand shoots across my chest and holds me back. The gesture startles me to hop back a little.

“Hold, a moment.  While they rush ahead, that leads to our true destination.  I say we walk the path, as you did before.” The witch points to a large ornate door behind us.  Meanwhile, the other companions gather around, each making their own facial expression at Morrigan's idea.

“You forget about that army out there, fighting for us?”  Bull says in a tense and annoyed tone of voice. “Longer we play around, the more Inquisition soldiers die.  There’s a hole- jump in.”

“I agree with the witch.”  Solas speaks up, taking small steps forward as he does so.  “This is ancient ground and deserving of our respect.”

“We cannot find the Well of Sorrows unprepared.”  Morrigan declares. “If we walk the path, we may gain more information about the well and how to use it.”  I frown to myself as I glance down in the hole again. I pick up a tiny rock and drop it into the grudge. After a few seconds, I don’t hear it hit the ground or plink on the way down.   _ I don’t know how deep that hole is.  I know in the game you survive the jump.  But what if I break my legs on impact? Plus, it’s a crypt.  That means dead people. And zombies. ...I think I’ll take my chances with puzzles. _  I turn my head to the witch and give her an unsure look.

“Are you really sure about this Morrigan?  Like, one hundred percent sure the puzzles will be as quick as this?”  She gives an annoyed side glance to no one in particular and gestures for me to follow out of earshot of the three.

“Legends walked Thedas once, things of might and wonder.  Their passing has made us all the lesser. There is a danger to the natural order.  Corypheus would squander the ancient power of the well. I would see it restored.”  _ And I take it she’s not meaning to restore it like a museum curator would... _

“But considering the well’s title and how it’s been locked away for centuries, and those elves defending this place to their death, what if the power is dangerous?  Like, maybe it won’t kill you but some things can be worse.” 

_ I don’t want her to drink from the well.  I know she wants to and all, but considering it makes her a puppet to Flemeth, I don’t think she’d want it.  In the first game, she requests you kill Flemeth just to get away from her and Flemeth’s plans. And I know Kieran’s old god soul was another plan, and I still don’t know what she wants with him.  But I don’t want him dragged any farther into whatever Flemeth/Mythal’s giant revenge plan is. Heck, I don’t even really think Flemeth lets Solas drain her willingly. She must have some kind of back up plan.  And even if there isn’t, Solas doesn't like her and would have no qualms controlling her. ...Maybe if I do it it’ll give him pause? But whoever does it gets to control that Mythal dragon/turn into one. And I do like dinosaurs.  Is hearing voices in my head of ancient dead people worth it? _

“There is more in the chamber than I revealed,”  Morrigan adds after a long pause, bringing me out of my thoughts.  As you and your party members have suggested, it tells of a great boon given to those who use the Well of Sorrows, but at a terrible price.”

“And you bring this up now because…?”  She scoffs and puts her hands on her hips at my tone.

“I hoped to find more information.  If I intend to cheat you, I would have feigned ignorance entirely.”  Her hands lower to wave around as she emphasizes her ideals. “My priority is your cause, but if the opportunity arises to save this well, I am willing to pay the price.”

“Even though it might be worse than we think?”  She gives a short laugh and begins to walk back to the center of the hall.

“That is for us to discover.  The rituals may point the way.  You seem to be quite the pessimist today, Inquisitor.”

I frown to myself at the comment as I follow hot on her and the group’s heels to the next puzzle room.

* * *

 

“I’m just saying, why are there only floor puzzles here?”  Morrigan once again huffs at my insistence.

“The rights were to prove worthiness to Mythal and a path of contemplation.  I do not see the need to test one’s mind to the limit for such a thing.”

“But if you’re going to have a temple with puzzles to keep the unworthy out, why not have, I dunno, a litter variety?  Like, one-floor puzzle, maybe a riddle or two, some switch puzzles. Just harder versions of the same thing is kinda-”

I was so caught up in my ranting I walk face first into the door I was meant to open.  “Ochies…” As I rub my face, Morrigan quickly brushes past me through the doors. As the rest of us follow, all our steps slow to gaze around the room.  I barely notice the doors close behind us.

There’s a high platform above us at the head of the room.  It’s made out of white stone with two columns on the sides.  Part of the design looks dwarven to me, with the sides built up with angular lines.   _ But I also can’t see much from down here. _  The floor is a detailed work of tiny yellow and orange mosaic pieces.  It must’ve taken a lot of time and effort to create such an elaborate tile work.  Not sure I’m so keen on the color. The yellow reminds me of mustard or the same yellow shade used in 60’s wallpaper.   _ Seems a tinsy bit out of place in an ancient elven temple.  Like, maybe blue or green would have worked? Or maybe Mythal is associated with yellow?  But I don’t know anything about ancient elven culture, so my opinion doesn't mean much here. _

“What was this chamber used for, I wonder?”  Morrigan asks as she turns around while walking, eyeing the ceiling.  Suddenly, there’s another noise, like a puff of smoke behind us.

“Hey guys,”  Varric mentions as he stops in his tracks.  “Just a guess here, but I think we’re being watched.”

 

At that moment, we all hear the sound of bowstrings being drawn and the rest of us stop, too.  On the platform above us, a tall and thing figure appears. He wears a grey robe and hood over golden armor.

“Venavis.”  He says in a commanding voice.  I’m unsure it means ‘Halt’ or a command for his mean to lower their weapons.  Probably the former, but I don’t speak any elven. One gauntleted hand raises while he looks over us before going back to crossing his arms.  “You… are unlike the other invaders.” He gives a minor pause as he regards each of us in turn, before looking at Solas a little longer. Solas doesn’t quiver like I am under the man’s gaze.  Solas seems even and calm.

“You stumble down our paths at the side of one of our own.”  I know in that instance everyone probably snuck a glance at Solas.  If he’s surprised by their presence or their recognition, he makes no face about it.  The elf above us points at my right hand. “You bear the mark of magic that is… familiar.  How has this come to pass? What is your connection to those who first disturbed our slumber?”  No one speaks up to answer his question until I’m glanced at by everyone and given a side elbow from Bull.

 

“Uhh…”  What do I say?  I come in peace?  I’m not the bad guy?  Pretty please don’t shoot me?  Do I put my hands up in surrender?  “‘The enemy of my enemy is my friend’.  I’ve come to stop the group that came first from getting whatever they’re after here.”  The ancient elf above us takes his time before speaking.

“I am called Abelas.  We are Sentinels, tasked with standing against those who trespass on sacred ground.  We wake only to fight, to preserve this place. Our numbers diminish with each invasion.  I know what your enemies seek. Like all before, they wish to drink from the Vir’abelasan.”  At that mention, Morrigan grows visibly excited.

“‘The place of the way of sorrows’.  He speaks of the well!”  _ I mean, he did just say ‘drink from’, so I’d guess he was talking about a well. _  In a second, Abelas’ eyes pierced down at us with a glare after Morrigan’s quiet comment.  _  It’s probably because there’s no other sound and the acoustics of this room must carry our voices.  Or those pointy ears aren’t just a physiological difference. _

“It is not  _ for _ you.  It is not for  _ any _ of you.”  He snaps. After the lull in the conversation, I lean closer to Solas and stage whisper.

“Dad, say something.”

“What shall I say?”  He hisses back. “Shall I sway him from a millennia of service by virtue of our shared blood?”

“I just thought maybe he’s more likely to listen to you and you could ask nicely that he not shoot us?”  He just shakes his head at the suggestion.

“He clings to all that remains of his world because he lacks the power to restore it.”   _ Huh, that sounds a lot like someone I know.  Sorta kinda. _

 

“So, like,”  I pipe up, still scared of the men at my back with drawn bows.  “What is this Well of Sorrows? The Vir-a-bella-san?” My pronunciation isn’t flowing, but I didn’t completely butcher it. 

“It is a path, one walked only by those who toiled in Mythal’s favor.”  He answers.

“He speaks of priests, perhaps?”  Morrigan interprets to come up with her own theory.  Abelas doesn't acknowledge her comment.

“Okay,”  I begin with my hand's slightly raised and open palm.  “We didn’t come here to fight you or take the well. Just to stop our enemies from getting to it.”  Abelas looks down at me with scrutiny. He pauses, his gauntlet curled under his chin. Finally, he speaks in a hesitant tone.

“I believe you.  Trespassers you are, but you have followed Rites of Petition.  You have shown respect to Mythal. If these others are enemies of yours, we will aid you in destroying them.  When this is done, you shall be permitted to depart... and  **never** return.”

“This is our goal is it not?”  Solas asks me with worry in his voice.  “There is no reason to fight these Sentinels.”

“Consider carefully,”  Morrigan now says on my other side like Kronk’s shoulder devil.  “You must stop Corypheus, yes, but you may also need the well for your own.”   _ ‘He’s trying to lead you down the path of righteousness, I’m gonna lead you down the path that rocks’! _

“Are you kidding me, Mor-Mor?  There’s a bunch of them and a handful of us.  Plus, they’re offering help? I’m not going to turn on them.”  I turn back to the waiting Sentinel.

“I accept your offer.”  He points to a hallway on his right while still watching us.

 

“You will be guided to those you seek.”  He says before slowly beginning to turn around to walk away.  “As for the Vir’abelasan, is shall not be spoiled, even if I must destroy it-”

“NO!”  Morrigan instantly cries out, already running forward and shifting into a bird.

“Mor-Mor get back here dagnabit!”  I try to call after her, but she’s already flown away.  

 

“Mythal’enaste.”  A sentinel with a staff and book drew my attention and begins walking where Abelas pointed.  I sigh and wave to the other three still with me.

“Come on guys, maybe if we book it we can catch her.  Ugh, you think I’d have guessed she’d pull something like this!”

“She seeks to protect the Well of Sorrows,”  Solas says with a fear creeping into his voice.   _ Yeah, like something called ‘of Sorrows’ needs protecting?  More like a warning. _

“You think you’ve seen everything.”  Bull begins to mumble to himself as he wearily glances at the other Sentinels.  “And then a mage turns into a bird.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My hiatus is hopefully done. Kinda took a break to recharge my writing motivation. Also been job hunting still. But the good news is, I have an interview at the Walt Disney World casting center this Friday! SO excited!


	68. Git Gud

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Catherine has a battle with her sort-of arch nemesis! The Well of Sorrows is concluded!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, guess what, I'm not dead!  
> So, a lot has happened since I posted the last chapter.  
> -I got a job at Disney  
> -I bought my first car  
> -Got car insurance by myself  
> -Had to resign from my job at Disney because housekeeping is a hard job that I am not meant to do. Tip your housekeepers, always.  
> -Try to keep sad feelings at bay.  
> -Got some awesome fuzzy socks for Christmas.  
> -Beat Dark Souls for Nintendo Switch in three weeks (Proud of myself for that)  
> _Got super excited because my kitty, Rose, is now in a super-duper cuddle mood and has been sleeping my me and night.
> 
> I finally, FINALLY finished this chapter. Took me a while to write. Maybe just because I wanted to skip to the well? Dunno. But, here it is!

The second the group reaches the plateau looking at the well, we’re stopped by a familiar face.  There’s a bunch of Venatori assholes along with their ring leader. Dots hasn’t mentioned much about the guy, other than that he was bad news in his day.  The attack on Haven awhile back proves he might be putting his sovereigns where his mouth is, but everyone is more preoccupied with the other guy we’re fighting it’s like everyone forgets about him.  As soon as the Inquisitor screeches to a halt, Caesar starts clapping.

“‘Inquisitor’.  We meet again.” He’s got an annoying smirk on his face and an accent even I can’t describe.  Reminds me of those statues they’ve got all over the old Tevinter parts of Kirkwall.

“Uhhh…”  Dots falters at what to say for a few seconds.  “Howdy?” The other guy just scoffs and signals one of them to come forward.  The warrior- who can only be a kid- kneels with two swords in his hands. The Venatori leader grabs one and throws it at Dots feet before grabbing the other in his right hand.

“We settle this like men!”  He booms at us while his lackey retreats.  “In single combat, we shall prove whos army shall succeed.”  Dots, compared to the rest of us, looks extremely perplexed. Quickly, the kid glances down at herself before turning back to the task at hand.

“I don’t think that’s gonna work…”   _At least when I write this, I’ll have enough one-liners from her to fill the Viscount's treasury.  Practically writes itself._  I’d laugh, but the atmosphere is a little too tense.   _Gonna have to change that._

“Pah!”  The Roman snorts.  “Of course not. You’re a witch who resorts to petty tactics to win.  You cannot face your opponents as yourself, much less win without aid.”  Then he snaps his fingers- and I shit you not- one of his mages invented something new.  As the air rumbles due to the spell, Dots chucks her phone at us. Thankfully Chuckles has the best reflexes out of us and is able to catch it before it smacks him in the face.

 

I mean, I’ve seen barriers- basically, everyone has.  Pretty common stuff. Chuckles and Sparkler toss ‘em around like it’s nothing.  But this is straight out of my nightmares. Soon as the mage lets his staff hit the ground, Ceaser and Dots and trapped in a little arena.  It’s red and I can feel a familiar sensation and ringing from it. _That magic is made out of red lyrium.  Or influenced by it; something like that.  You’d think these idiots would take a hint and stay away from this rock?_  The arena is mostly the plateau we’re on, with part of the barrier extending past the edge of the cliff.  Now Dots starts to panic, constantly trying to concentrate but getting more distressed.

“Why am I still me?!”

“As I said, we fight like men.”  Her opponent says, stepping forward with the pointy end aimed at her.  “No more of your tricks. Pick up your weapon.” _Oh, this is fun.  Real fun._

“But I can’t fight like me…”  Her protest comes out as a high pitched squeak.

“Pick up your weapon!”  Nervously, she picks it up, using her left hand.  I see Tiny look a little surprised when the Inquisitor does that.

“Has she always been left-handed?”  I glance up at the guy, trying not to snort at his comment.

“So Mr. I-Used-To-Be-A-Spy didn’t notice a detail like that?”

“The turning into other people thing kind of took most of my attention.”

 

“Hey, guys!”  Dots hisses, her head turned to us.  “What the heck do I do here?!”

“Try not to get hit?”  I offer, trying to calm her down, maybe a little.  Dots just makes a face. Bull approaches the barrier as close as he can.

 

“Keep your right foot in front and hold your balance.  Keep both hands on the hilt and keep the blade in front of you.  Stay out of the line of attack and keep Ceaser in front of you. Parry him when you can.”  Dots tries to copy his instructions but just looks overwhelmed.

“How do I fence with a shortsword?  And what’s parring anyway?!”

“You can also go for his dick.”  Bull offers, pointing at the waiting man.  “Not wearing any armor there. His armor protects his upper body and his arms.  I don't see a codpiece anywhere. His ankles are another good spot.”

“So if all else fails I bite his ankles like a coyote?”

* * *

 

Cassandra stares at the scorch marks on the stone leading up to the large, sealed door.

This magic was strong and ancient to be able to withstand the full force of the Lyrium Archdemon.  There were no signs of the Inquisitor’s party among the burned and dead, so she took it as a good sign they made it inside.  Ahead of her, one of Bull’s team, Rocky, is examining the stone door closely. His explosive equipment is near, so hopefully, he should be able to make a way through.  The Seeker is worried for them. Morrigan might be up to something and this strange temple with hidden magic might be hidden for a reason. And with the Venatori and Corypheus nearby, this was a task with the odds not entirely in their favor.  Not in the mood to wait much longer, she approaches the dwarf.

“What will it take to open this?  Do you have the equipment to handle it?”  Rocky turns on his heel, an unlit bomb in his hand.  As he talks, he uses his fingers to list off his supplies.

“I have Gunpowder, nitroglycerin, notepads, fuses, wicks, glue,”  He pauses to think for a moment before quickly adding “-and paperclips.”  He finishes before gesturing with his hands again.

“Big ones,”  Cassandra says nothing.   “You know, just, uh, office supplies.”  Rocky trails off.

“I mean, I made a bridge back there.  Didn’t say anything about opening a magical door.”  From behind her, Dorian laughs.

“Sure, sure, let’s destroy the ancient and untouched architecture for a bridge.  It’s not like this is an important historical discovery.”

“I believe the safety of our party is a priority.”  The mage nods quickly as he rushes up to join her.

“Of course they are.”  He replies as though he isn’t as vexed by the situation as she is.  “Just let me be a little angry on the behalf of future scholars everywhere.”

 

Her eyes narrow as the bomb is unable to destroy the door.  Cassandra had a feeling that would happen. The Seeker lets out a growl of frustration as she buries the temptation to kick the door.

“If only there were some way to contact them!”  As she folds her arms and taps her foot impatiently, Dorian snaps his fingers and rummages for something in his bag.

“Now’s a good a time as any to field test this, I suppose…”  He half-mumbles to himself. Cassandra raises an eyebrow in confusion as she watches him fiddle with the object and begins to cast spells in his hands.

* * *

 

We’re all rooted to the spot as Dots succeeds in ducking and running away from her opponent's sword.

“Face me, you coward!”  The Venatori leader shouts.  The Inquisitor yelps as she scampers to the side to dodge another swipe.

“Nah!”  She replies in a quivering voice.  “Nope. Don’t hit me! Go away! Go away!”  Just as she screeches again as the sword manages to nick a bit of her hair, her phone lights up and blares the strangest sound I’ve ever heard.  The instruments match the type of music she played at the assault on the Warden’s Fort. _But the language almost sounds like gibberish..._

 

Chuckles’ eyes go wide as he fumbles with the phone in shock.  Thankfully, he doesn’t drop it. The text displayed at the top of the rectangle says ‘Unknown Number’.

“Uh, hey Dots!”  I call out. Thankfully, the noise also distracted her opponent, giving the kid time to process.  “I think you got a call?” Her confusion flickers from me to the phone.

“Since when do I get reception in another dimension?”  A quick glance to Caesar shows he’s not that distracted.  “Cool-just-answer-it!” Her words are shoved together as she pulls the blade up to block the thrust.

“Swipe the green symbol to the right!”  At this point, Chuckles is the unnamed person in charge of her phone.  He quickly follows directions. We all lean in close but can’t make out much more than quiet, garbled words.  “Hit the bottom left thing! It’ll put it on speakerphone!” Chuckles just stares as he tries to figure it out.  Both the elf and the Qunari just look a little lost.

“Tell you what, I’m taking over.”  I swipe it from the mage’s open palm.  I think I’ve seen Dots fiddle with this thing to figure out what to do.  I hold it up to my ear. “Uh, hello?”

“-llo?  Varric! Thank the Maker someone decided to answer!  Can you hear me? What’s going on with your group?” _Sparkler is definitely excited about something._ As I wince as hold it a little ways from me so the volume isn’t too much.

“Well, in order:  Yes, I can hear you.  And Dots is in a sword fight with Caesar.”

“Surely you must be joking…”  I hear him mutter in shock before a new voice rings in my ear.

“She’s what?!  Varric, where are you?”

“Howdy Seeker.  I’m not sure where in this blasted temple we are.  We’re high up, I assume. I can see the tops of some trees.”

“Damn it!”  She growls. Her voice grows a little distant, so I assume she’s turned her head.  “We’ll need to come up with a new plan… Rocky, you can-”

 

_Hang on, that’s one of Tiny’s people.  He’s that dwarf with the explosives that one guy back in Kirkwall would’ve paid a fortune for.  Forgot the guy’s name. But if there are explosives, there’s noise._

“Wait, Seeker!  I have an idea! Put Rocky on.”

* * *

 

_I’m exhausted.  I didn’t know I could get this exhausted.  Kiting this guy in a tiny field is hard. I did not think this through.  Why didn’t I ask Cass to teach me how to hit people with this thing?_  Caesar keeps swinging at me like it’s nothing. _I’ve managed to escape the fatal blows.  My guts aren’t spilling out, at least. But there are a few nicks in my armor and my hair is now a little shorter in some places.  I needed to cut that anyway, so not that big a deal? At least I’m still standing. But for how long?_ Now the Roman general is running at me from the right.  I try to hop back, but my low stamina means I don’t get back fast enough.  My back hits the barrier. It briefly feels like I’m getting shocked and stuck with a bunch of little needles at the same time.  The adrenaline kick allows me to get away from both obstacles and have a little reprieve.

Now he’s charging me again.  I try to swallow but my throat is dry.  Just as he’s closing in on me..

**BOOM!**

There’s a large earth-shattering ka-boom that both rattles my ears and the ground.  Caesar's concentration wavers during the lunge and I’m able to side-step him. The ruined supports and crumbling stone begin to fall in some places.  Notably, the ones closest to where the Venatori are positioned. The cultists begin to scramble and duck as left and right the Temple falls away. I’m so preoccupied with trying to regain my balance, I register the barrier is down, but don’t act on it.  I watch as all the underlings just up and scatter. I’m confused at first, wondering why a bunch of falling rocks would cause them to book it, but then I turn my head to see why.

Bull and Solas are kicking the crap out of a historical figure.  Caesar keeps trying to concentrate on the mage, but the onslaught of fireballs, crossbow bolts, and a giant axe are too much for one guy to deal with.  By the time Julius worms his way into range with his sword, the elf uses magic to send the Roman to his knees. Coupled with Bull’s pommel on the back of his head, the man that once ruled Rome is out cold.   _Huh.  Neat._  I start to wobble up to the trio, but Varric instead points up to a set of stairs as Abelas runs up, Morrigan on his heels.

“We’ll take care of roping up this asshole!  You go deal with the spooky well.”

“We’ve got your back if she tries anything, Boss.”

 

I still have no idea how I manage to barely survive a sword fight and then run up a bunch of uneven, floaty stairs without falling over.  By the time I’m at the top, I am definitely out of breath.

“You heard his parting words, Inquisitor.”  Says Morrigan, fit as a fiddle and sounding fine.  “The elf seeks to destroy the Well of Sorrows.” Both Abelas and Morrigan scowl at each other.

“So the sanctum is despoiled at last…”  He grimly observes.

“You would have destroyed the Well yourself, given the chance.”

“To keep it from your grasping fingers!”  The ancient guardian defends his actions to an unwilling Morrigan, who keeps trying to inch to the well as they circle around each other.  “Better it be lost than bestowed upon the undeserving!”

“Fool!  You’d let your people’s legacy rot in the shadows!”

“Hey!  Listen!”  I huff as I step closer to the pair of them.  “We- well, not really me- but we stopped Caesar and Corypheus’ efforts.  Let’s just leave the pool alone and get outta here.” Morrigan turns from facing the elf to face me, a fiery determination in her eyes.

“The moment we leave, he will send more forces to secure this place.”  She speaks with the authority of a teacher, at this moment. “The Well clearly offers power, Inquisitor.  If that power can be turned against Corypheus, can you afford not to use it?” _I admit, she does make a point, but…  I just can’t let her drink it. She’ll become attached to the whim of her mother, the one thing she feared in Origins.  And then Kirean and her would be even more caught up in whatever Flemeth’s plans are. Or worse, in Solas’ destruction of the Veil._

 

Abelas is silent for a moment before a slow shake of the head.

“Do you even know what you ask?”  She says in a low voice as he turns to the water and gases out over it.  “As each Servant of Mythal reached the end of their years, they would pass their knowledge on through this.  All that we were. All that we knew. It will be lost forever.” _Hold up, the magic water is made of dead people?  Ghosts? Dead people’s memories? Their consciousness?  Oh Lordy, what have I gotten myself into now?_

“You have shown respect to Mythal, and there is a righteousness in you that I cannot deny.”  Abelas now inclines his head, speaking directly to me. “Is that what you wish? To partake in the Vir’Abelesan as best you can, to fight your enemy?”  I gulp as I think of what to say, wanting to choose my words carefully.

“I won’t do it if I’m going against you.”

“One does not obtain permission.  One obtains the right.” He pauses as he looks over both Morrigan and I.  “The Vir’Abelesan may be too much for a mortal to comprehend. Brave it if you must, but know you this:  Whichever one of you takes it shall be bound forever to the Will of Mythal.” Immediately after the warning passes his lips, Morrigan lets out a loud scoff.

“Bound?  To a Goddess who no longer exists,  if she ever did?”

“Bound as we are bound.”  Abelas finishes. “The choice is yours.”

 

Both Morrigan and Abelas are quiet now.

“So, with the way you say ‘bound’,”  I pipe up. “It sounds like you’re speaking in present tense rather than past.  Does that mean Mythal is still around?” _I mean, I already know that, but I’d rather draw this out as long as I can so I’ll make a decision._  Before Abelas can answer my question, Morrigan cuts him off.

“Elven legend states that Mythal was tricked by Fen’Harel and banished to the Beyond.”

“Wait, I thought she di-?”  I start to correct her, but I quickly shut my mouth.  Both Abelas and Morrigan look at me strangely. Morrigan’s expression is more confusion at my correction and Abelas’ looks like he’s wondering how I know.

“‘Elven’ legend is wrong.”  He says in a tone of finality.  “The Dread Wolf had nothing to do with her murder.”

“Murder?”  Morrigan parrots.  “But I said nothing of…”  She trails off as she frowns to herself.  The elf says no more on the subject. _Okay, I still gotta stall for time…  Think! Think!_

“Will you leave the temple?”  I ask, trying to not let my anxiety over choices creep through.

“Our duty ends.  Why remain?” He glances down as I see that he’s noticed my other companions starting to make their way for the stairs, Caesar hogtied and unable to move.  “There may be places the shemlen have not touched. Or perhaps all that awaits is Uthenera. If fate is kind.”  
“But couldn’t you come with us to stop Corypheus and then take your nap?  He did kill your allies back there.” Abelas only shakes his head at the suggestion.

“We killed ourselves, long ago.”  He says in a solemn voice before turning and heading down the stairs without another word.  Varric and Bull stare at him as he passes, but Solas stops him and says something. I can’t make out what he’s saying over the sound of the water.  As the three of them approach, Solas offers an explanation.

 

“His name.”  Solas’ voice breaks the silence.  “Abelas means Sorrow. I said I hoped he finds a new name.  Nobody says anything and just watches Morrigan and I in the quiet.  The witch gives a quiet ‘Hmph’ as she points to the mirror on the far side of the pool.

“You’ll note the intact Eluvian.  I was correct on that count, at least.”

“So… can Corphy still use it?  Are we in trouble?” I ask, quickly glancing around for any sign of him.

“You remember how I said previously each Eluvian requires a key-”  
“The well is the key, isn’t it?”  I finish for her. Morrigan nods.

“Take the well’s power and it will be no more to Corypheus than glass.”  Now she peers at the water’s surface, nudging a stone into the pool with her toe.  The ripples move across the surface and a strange hum seems to come from the well itself.  “I did not expect the well to feel so… hungry.”

“This seems like a bad idea…”  Varric mumbles from the back as he eyes Morrigan eyeing the well.

“Knowledge begets a hunger for more.”   _And that’s how supervillains are made._  The Witch of the Wilds turns to me with a steel to her voice.  “I am willing to pay the price the Well demands. I am also the best suited to use its knowledge in your service.”

“Or more likely to your own ends.”  Solas quickly cuts in with venom to his voice.   _You guys are going to do this now?!_

“What would you know of my ‘ends’, elf?”

“You are a glutton drooling at the sight of a feast.  You cannot be trusted!” Morrigan just scoffs and turns her gaze back to me, ignoring Solas.  The way she looks down at me under her eyelashes gives her the impression she thinks herself having the power in this situation.

“Of those present, I alone have the training to make use of this.  Let me drink, Inquisitor. Can you honestly tell me there is anyone better suited?”

 

There’s a pause as she expects me to concede.   _But, I can’t.  I can’t let her do that to herself.  I can’t let her do that to Kieran. And if Solas does take Mythal’s powers at the end, maybe our friendship will cause him to hesitate using it since it’s me?_

“I’ll do it!”  I blurt out. I’m immediately prone to a chorus of ‘What’s?!’ and ‘No’s!’ from my companions.

“You lead the Inquisition!”  Morrigan balks. “This is not a risk you can take!  I am older than you, know more of magic and Elven culture, as such I have the best chance of making use of the Well… for everyone.  Let me drink.”

“And you aren’t worried about being bound to a Goddess?”  Morrigan gives a short laugh.

“Bound to the will of a dead God?  It seems an empty warning.”

“But what if it’s true?  What would happen to Kieran?”  This gives her pause. After a moment, she sighs.

“Perhaps a compulsion still remains, but it shall not endanger my son.  I shall make sure of that. I do not fear it, even so.” She makes a step for the well, trying to brush me off, but I step in front of her.

“No!”

“Inquisitor, move-”

“You have to listen to me!  This thing is dangerous and will put you in a terrible position!  It’ll put everything you’ve built and Kieran in danger. You **can’t** drink it, Morrigan!”

 

She places her hands on her hips and looks at me with annoyance.

“Mythal is dead and I am in no danger from her.  Even so, I have the willpower to protect myself and my son from its designs.”   _Come on, Catherine, think!  Say something to convince her!  Or to distract her? Something to hint at who Mythal is without revealing anything?_

“Morrigan, you drink it, body-swapping will be the least of your problems!”  Now she falters mid-step and looks at me with a suspicious look.

“What are you-”

“If you do this, everything you’ve been on the run from will be in jeopardy.”  

 

Her eyes narrow as she shakes her head quickly, but I can’t tell if it’s from disbelief or not wanting to believe.

“You know not what you speak about!”  The Witch tries to rush ahead. In desperation, I grab her arm.

“Are you sure this water’s sanitary?  It looks questionable to me!”

“This isn’t the time to be worrying about this, Inquisitor!”

“But what about bacteria?!”

“If you are worried so, then step away from the well and let me go forward!”  I try to wrap my arms around her, but her staff makes it harder to do and she’s struggling.  I do my best-exaggerated point at the far end of the water.

“Piranha!  It’s a Piranha!”  Morrigan is getting fed up with me, now fully glaring at me.

“There are no piranhas in Orlais!” She snaps.  “They are native to Par Vollen! Now let me go!”   _Can’t think!  Can’t think! Use instincts!  Do something!_

I hop off her back and run around her.  Once in front of the witch, I take a breath and steel myself.

“I’m sorry!”  I yell as I stomp of her foot and quickly jump into the pool of water.  It almost goes up to the tops of my legs. There’s a blue light swirling around me and a strange sound like the rush of wind.

“Inquisitor, get out of there!  You cannot do this!” Morrigan yells but makes no effort to approach me.  None of my companions do.

“I’m not letting you do this!  If anyone gets to make a stupid decision involving a creepy well of doom, it’s me!”  Once I’m done yelling, I quickly quiet down to a meeker tone. “I’m sorry, but I can’t let you get hurt.  You’re my friend.”

 

**One…**

**Two…**

**Three…**

 

I bring the water from my hands and drink.  The last thought I have is how stale it tastes and wonder if I’m drinking dead people, when there’s an explosion and I’m wobbling on my feet

I see a strange blue and grey haze all around me, like a fog.  Little wisps float around as if examining me. I hear so many whispers everywhere.  I can’t make out what any of them are saying.

“Oh, sweet Jesus I think I might regret this.”  I can hear one sentence being repeated, and despite my lack of knowledge about Elven, I just somehow… know.

_Why are you here?_

“Uh, there’s this guy who wants to destroy the world.  I kind of need to stop him. He wanted this, so I grabbed it first.”  At my comments, there’s only an increase in sounds. It reminds me of Fatal Frame and I just want to curl into a ball.  “I know who this is connected to and what it does. I think I can face the consequences… at least I hope.”

_Vir Mythal’Enaste._  

It says as a welling power grows in my head.  I see more and more blue until my vision is nothing but bright light until I fall back.

 

“Inquisitor?  Inquisitor? Catherine!”  I hear Solas’ voice and suddenly I rush back to my senses.  I’m lying on my back in the middle of the well, no water at all, like it was never there.  Everyone is around me gazing down at me. I blink in the sun as I stand to my feet, aiding by Bull hauling me up with a hand.  “How… do you feel?” Solas asks worry and curiosity in his voice.

“Noises… Smoke… Lights… Voices… Words…”  I mumble incoherently as I try to get my bearings.  By the time I look up, I notice a certain someone the same time he notices me.

“The Eluvian!”  Morrigan shouts as she points to the object in question.  I can feel a strange feeling like someone’s occupying the same space I am at the same time.  It feels like, even though I’m in control of myself, I’m not in control at all. My hand flies out and activates the Eluvian with a gesture.

“Through the mirror!”  I yell as one by one my companions follow Morrigan’s lead.  As I stand and watch, a strange figure emerges from the well, surrounded by a column of water.  They float elegantly like their floating or swimming. Just as the Darkspawn Magister approaches the water, glaring at me so harshly he could kill me, I jump through into a bright, blue mirror.

 

The second I’m through the mirror, I’ve met the carpet of Skyhold with my face and roll until I hit a box covered with a white tarp.   _From the sounds around me, I’m not the only one with a poor landing._

“So, who’s not dead?”  In response, the party gives various noises, mostly good ones.  Doesn't sound like anyone’s severely injured. “And Morrigan?” I ask aloud as I use the box to pull myself up.  In front of me, everyone stands and watches.

“If you want to go on any more field trips with ancient stuff, please count me out.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next up, Flemeth cutscene! Me trying to remember which personal quests I have yet to finish! Dinosaurs!


	69. To Boldly Go

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cats and a lot of plot happens

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I actually do act like this in front of my cats. It's 100% true.

_ Happiness.  Joy. Excitement.  So happy. Slight annoyance.  Why did no one tell me about them? _

Are the kinds of emotions Cole was picking up from the Inquisitor at the moment.  Ever since the party returned from the temple, all of them were both relieved and on edge.  He could tell the Inquisitor had new and strange magic about her. What it was he couldn’t tell, but he did know it caused her distress at times.  When her emotions did flare up, he suddenly couldn’t read her as well as he used to. He wondered, perhaps, if it was because he was becoming human, but something about the magic caused an interference.  Like he was listening through thick and muddy water. 

Thus, Cole decided to show her a new development at Skyhold while they were away.  If he couldn’t tell exactly what the problem was, he should still try, shouldn’t he?  The catnip that was planted to keep mosquitoes out of the keep had also attracted some new visitors.  Cats, to be precise. The animals didn’t really like him much; they just swatted at his feet. But they had most if not all of Skyhold in a better mood.  The Inquisitor, at the moment, was a shining beacon of joy as she sat surrounded by cats, petting them, hugging them, and babbling incoherently.

“Hey, Cole, you seen the Boss…”  The Iron Bull walks up alongside him with a question but stops talking when he stops walking.  “Ah, I see.” He says nodding in the direction of Catherine.

“Hello, The Iron Bull,”  Cole says.

“ISA BAWBY!”  Catherine loudly coos with a giant grin as she squeezes a cat close to her.  The cat doesn’t seem to mind that much. “PRETTY LITTLE FWUZZY BABWY!” She lets the cat hop back to the grass, where it takes it’s time to sprawl out in the sun.  The Iron Bull laughs to himself.

“Should’a figured I’d find her here.  With the higher-ups lookin’ for her high ‘an low, you’d think they’d have the idea to check here first.”

“I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!”  The Inquisitor now puts her face directly into the cat’s fur.  Cole isn’t sure why she’s doing that.

“Do you like cats, The Iron Bull?”  The Qunari nods along with a half-smile on his face.

“Sure.  Cats are fuckin’ adorable.  Why?” He follows Cole’s point to the Inquisitor acting… strangely.  

“Why is Catherine talking like that to them?  They can’t understand her.”

“She’s a cat person.”  Cole squints in confusion at the Inquisitor as he mulls it over.

“I don’t understand…”

“It means she really likes cats.  Like,”

“I LOVE YOU KITTY BABIES! YES, I DO! YES I DO!!”

“...That.”

* * *

 

_ Cats.  Cats. So many cats.  Oh my gosh. So happy.  So fluffy. Warm and soft.  Purring. Little kitties mewing everywhere.  They’re all on drugs. Catnip is so awesome. Surrounded by cats.  So happy. Best fort ever. I’m never going to leave. It’s so cute I’m gonna die.  Best day of my life. I missed this so much. I need to hug every one of these kitties.  It’s a kitty. So cute. Holy crap! Cats! _

“Hey, Boss!”  I barely hear Bull calling from the edge of my sanctuary.  “Earth to Catherine!” I begrudgingly sit up and glance in his and Cole’s direction.  The qunari points back at the main keep with his thumb.

“Think your people are waiting for you in the War Room, Boss.”  I slowly glance between the direction of the War Room and the cats around me and pout as I longingly pet an orange tabby.  “I know, you want to stay, but the cats’ll still be here. Not like they want to go anywhere.” After a big, long, drawn-out sigh (that was totally on purpose) I stand up, giving ear scratches when I can.

“I’ll be back little babies.  Be patient.”

 

I glumly stride into the War Room covered in fur, grass stains, and weeds.

“Howdy, ya’ll.”  Each of the advisors, plus Morrigan, glance in my direction.

“Ah, Inquisitor,”  Leliana replies with a tone that seems pleasant.  “I presume you had a good time?” My grin is all the answer she needs.  Cullen, meanwhile un-rolls a report that was laying in front of him.

“Now that everyone’s present, I am pleased to report we won the battle.  When you and the others went through that mirror, Corypheus and his Archdemon fled the field.”  Morrigan quickly cuts in with an annoyed expression in the Commander’s direction.

“What he wanted was no longer in the Temple.  Why should he have reason to remain?”

“Perhaps.”  The man reluctantly agrees.  “He spent so long trying to get into that temple, he-”

“Mew!”

Cullen’s sentence is cut off by a tiny meow.  The Commander frowns.

“What was that?”  He asks while the three women all stare me down.  I give an exaggerated shrug while trying to not meet their eyes.

“What?”

“I believe your hood just ‘mewed’.”  Leliana explains with a tilt of the head.  I glance back and forth while trying to readjust the weight in my hood.

“No, it didn’t.  That was just me.” I give a fake cough.  I can bet money no one here believes me.

“...As I was saying Corypheus couldn’t have helped his forces by that point.”

“Then Corypheus is finished?”  Josie asks with a skeptical look on her face as she examines the report for herself.

“If he is wise-”  Leliana begins to say but stops to give me a look.  “Did you smuggle a kitten into the War Room, Inquisitor?”  I glance at her face and decide to look at her forehead rather than directly into her eyes.  All while petting the kitten that climbed down my shoulder to hop onto the table.

“Nope.”

“So that’s not a kitten in front of all of us at the moment?”  The tiny black and grey tabby -that just so happened to remind me of my cat Rose- starts pawing and sniffing the little flags that dot Ferelden.

“What cat?”  Mew! There’s a tiny squeak as the kitten turns to me for attention. “I don’t see a cat.”  I shrug as I begin to pet her. Leliana just sighs and shakes her head.

“Regardless, Corypheus will hide and regather his strength before he attacks again.”

_ He will not hide. _

 

“What the holy cheeseballs?!”

A strange and distorted voice breaks through my thoughts.   _ There was a waver and a higher pitch to it at the beginning; the voice sounds like something I could make in Audacity.  But the language wasn’t in Elvish. It was English. And the accent was familiar, but where have I heard it from? _  Now my advisors are all staring at me with alarm.

“Inquisitor, are you alright?”  Josie asks, looking seconds away from putting her clipboard down and rushing to get help.

“Oh yeah.  I hear dead people now!”  Morrigan quickly turns me to face her, her hands gripping my shoulder tightly in excitement.

“The Well!  You hear it.  The Well speaks to you.  What did you hear?”

“Erm,”  I shake my head a little to clear my thoughts and make sure I’m the only one in there.  “It wasn’t the Well, but it was someone. They said Corypheus isn’t going to be playing hide-and-seek.”

“Someone?  One of the ancient guardians, perhaps?”  I shake my head again.

“No, it was a woman who spoke in English.  And I know the voice. But it was distorted.  Maybe so I couldn’t recognize it right away?” Morrigan’s hands release me and she frowns to herself, tapping the wood of the table in frustration or thought.

“If only one who understood such voices had used the Well’s power instead.”   _ I’m tempted to flick her on the side of the head.  What is she, twelve? _

“And then we’d have to rely on  _ her _ interpretation of them and what she chooses to tell.”  The Spymaster says with narrowed eyes at Morrigan. The Witch takes a few moments to just stare at Leliana before rising from her tapping position.

“Have I not been forthcoming enough for you, Spymaster?”   _ Morrigan sounds angry now. _  She turns on a whirl back to me.  “I told you what the Well  _ could _ have done, Catherine.  You should be hearing shouts from the Heavens, not whispers of some person!”  She growls in frustration.

“And I told you there’s a really good reason you don’t want to hear dead people?”

 

“Not to interrupt, but,”  The Ambassador begins, momentarily distracted by the kitten walking over to her for attention.  “But shouldn’t we be thinking of ways to lure out and defeat his Archdemon before we mount an attack on Corypheus.”

“It’s not an Archdemon, the dragon’s a Horcrux!”  I blurt out. “Cory put part of his soul in it, so it’s not an Archdemon.  But… we do have to kill it first before we can get Coryphy.” Everyone is silent for a moment in deliberation.

“That’s… no simple task.  Corypheus is powerful alone, but with the dragon…”

_ Right, because either Morrigan can turn into a dragon or I can control one.  But I have no idea how to make that happen. _  Suddenly, there’s another interruption.

 

_ Have patience.  You’ll get your dragon. _  Morrigan notices the face I made upon the voice talking.

“The Well again, I presume.  Has it any advice for us?”

“The dead lady didn’t say anything useful.”

_ I’m not dead, you know. _

“Update:  The *lady* didn’t say anything useful.”

_ Ha!  Very funny.  Since you have the time to make those quips of yours, you may also want to advise Morrigan to check on her son. _

 

“Uh oh!”  The alarm bells went off.  Wow, how could I be so stupid?!  I forgot about this part! Crap! I grab Morrigan’s wrist and start to drag her off.

“Inquisitor, what are you-”

“Kieran’s in danger!  The Eluvian!” She stops and looks me over, her confusion and shock apparent.

“Kieran?”

“Yes!  We have to go!”

* * *

 

“Kieran!”  Morrigan cries out as she dashes into the room with the Eluvian.  It’s before us, activated and blue, humming. Her son isn’t anywhere to be found.

“He must have-”  But Morrigan doesn’t listen to me and runs forward, jumping through the Eluvian without a thought.  “...gone through the mirror. Lady, will you stop for five seconds?” I grumble aloud as I, too, jump through.   _ I gotta make sure he’s okay!  I gotta make sure he doesn’t get lost in the Fade! _

 

But when I step out I bump right into a confused Morrigan.  I expected green and floating rocks and an echo around us. But instead, there isn’t an echo.  There’s green, but no rocks. The two of us stand in a black box with green lines going vertical and horizontal like it’s making an axis.

“What is this?!”  Morrigan cries as she glances around for her son.  “‘Tis the Fade, I can sense it! But… it has never…”   _ I recognize this.  But I can’t put my finger on it…  _  Ahead of us is an entryway with a door ahead.   _ It looks Sci-Fi… _  I wave the witch to follow my lead.

“Come on, he can’t have gone far.”

“To direct the Eluvian to the Fade would require immense power…”  Morrigan’s voice is so full of worry and fear. It breaks my heart.  “If he is lost to me now, after all I have sacrificed…” I place a hand on her arm.

“We’re going to find Keiran, Morrigan.”

“The Fade is infinite!  He could be anywhere!” She says right as we reach the door.

 

And then it slides open with a familiar ‘voosh’ sound.

_ Oh.  I remember now.  That’s the Star Trek door noise.  Wait up... _

“Star Trek?!”  I gawk as I come face to face with a familiar design of a hallway.  Morrigan just gawks in fear and confusion.

“Just what is this…?”

“Uhh… a tv set?”  She pauses as she stares in amazement at everything.

“A what?  Just what is this?  I’ve never seen such architecture in my life…”  I glance down the hallway but see nothing familiar.   _ Hmm… If I were Kieran, I’d probably be in the…. The main room.  The bridge! But how do we get there? There’s no map… Oh, right!  Sci-Fi! I’ve been in the renaissance too long. _

“Hey, Computer…?”  My voice is met with a familiar beeping.  At the unfamiliar sound, Morrigan looks like a cat scared out of its wits.  “What direction to the bridge?”

“Head down the hall to your left to the elevator.  It will take you to the Bridge.”

“Thank you,”  I reply automatically.

“Your welcome.”  It responds before signaling off.  Morrigan whirls on me.

“Was that a spirit?!”

“No, I don’t think a computer counts as one.”

“What is a bridge?  Are we on a ship of some sort?”

“Yes.”

“And you know of it, I take it?”

“Yeah.”  The Witch doesn’t like my casual tone.

“And you have an inkling where Kieran is?”

“Yeah, he might be on the bridge.  If not, we can go from there.” I grab her wrist and lead her down the hall.   Sure enough, the elevator is there.  _  Maybe it’s so easy to get around because I don’t remember very much.  I grew up watching Next Gen, but that was a long time ago. _  The doors slide open before us.  I naturally step in, but Morrigan doesn’t follow.

“Come on, this takes us up.”  She narrows her eyes and has a suspicious look as she hesitantly steps in.  “Uhh… to the bridge, please?” I ask since I don’t see any buttons at all. At my question, the doors slide shut and we start going up.  Morrigan slightly loses her balance as it starts to rise, but regains herself.  She says nothing as it continues to go up. I can see her mind whirling with questions, but she has a determination.  Her son is her priority.

* * *

 

When the doors open, she rushes in the room.  Over by one of the panels on the far side of the room, stands Kieran.  He stands in front of one of the pilot stands in front of the Captain's chair.  I can see him pressing buttons and fiddling with knobs, just like a kid at a playground.  Morrigan wastes no time in starting to approach him. But just as her boot touches the first step down, someone rises from the Captain's chair.   _ I didn’t even think to notice or not if someone was there. _  The uniform is the one I remember Picard wearing from NextGen, but it’s not Picard in the uniform.  It’s… oh, what was her name? Janeway?

“Mother!  Inquisitor!”  Kieran turns and starts to approach both of us, but is stopped by the arm of whoever is with him.

“Now, isn’t this a surprise?”  Says the woman with a familiar voice.  Morrigan takes a step back in shock.

“M-Mother?”  Janeway? Gives a laugh like Flemeth’s.

“I’d be terribly disappointed if you didn’t recognize my voice, Morrigan.”

“Wait,”  I mumble, raising my hand slightly.  “I’m confused… How come you’re…”

“Someone you recognize?  Someone I share a voice with?  You’ll have to thank our new connection for this.  I may have picked up bits and pieces about your world from the Fade, but since you drank from the Well I can have direct access.”   _ Wait, she has access to my brain?!  How much has she seen? All my embarrassing moments from middle school?  All my secrets? Those random thoughts I have when I don’t pay attention and I should be?! _

“Uhh… but why Star Trek though?”  Flemeth once again laughs.

“You really think I wear the same thing for ten years?  Metal tends to chafe, you know. I prefer this suit, myself.  Much more comfortable. But, now, here we are. Mother, daughter, grandson.  It warms the heart, does it not?” Morrigan, meanwhile, does not care about Flemeth’s fashion choices.

“Kieran is  _ not  _ your grandson.  Let him go!”

“As if I were holding the boy hostage.  She’s always been ungrateful, you see.”

“Ungrateful?!”  Morrigan spits out, voice filled with emotion.  “I know how you plan to extend your life, you wicked crone!  You will not have me and you will not have my son!” Morrigan yells as she begins to prepare a spell, amplified by the Fade.  Flemeth just shakes her head and sighs, sitting back into the chair and turning it to face us.

“Be a good lass and restrain her.”  She says while her eyes flash blue. 

 

Everything in my vision changes.  There’s a light blue tint and the whispering I sometimes hear is amplified.  I can’t control myself at all. I’m moving and grabbing Morrigan and pulling her back, but I’m just… along for the ride.

“What are you doing?  What… are you doing?!”  Morrigan yells at me in anger.  Then, in a second, it’s all gone.

“I…  I…”

“You drank from the Well, did you not, Inquisitor?”  Morrigan gasps as the gears start to whirl.

“You… are Mythal.”  She says in awe, as Flemeth allows Kieran back to his mother.  She holds him tight in a hug, one he returns. I can tell she’s trying not to cry.  _  I’d guess at the fact she could’ve lost him.  I’m glad he’s okay and that he’s got a loving mother. _

“Once, I was but a woman, crying out in the lonely darkness for justice.  And she came to me, a wisp of an ancient being, and she granted me all I wanted and more.  I have carried Mythal through the ages ever since, seeking the justice denied to her.”

“Wait-”  I interrupt without even thinking.  “So if she’s in your head, and you're in my head, is Mythal in my head too?”

“She is a part of me, no more separate than your heart from your chest.  But I don’t think you need to ask the voices for confirmation, do you?” Morrigan glances in my direction with a confused look.

“Yeah, you’re telling the truth alright.”

“But what was Mythal?”  Flemeth continues, her voice growing more dramatic as she speaks.  “A legend given name and called a God? Or something more? Truth is not the end, but a beginning.  As I’m sure you’ve known from the start, Inquisitor.” Once again, Morrigan looks at me, but speaks this time.

“What is she talking about?  Do you know something I don’t know, Catherine?”

“Oh, Miss Catherine has many secrets, don’t you?”  Now all three watch for my reaction. Flemeth looking slightly amused.  Kieran seems sort of curious (I wonder if he knows anything?) and Morrigan perplexed.

“I plead the fifth.”  Flemeth gives a bark for a laugh.

“How very American of you.”

 

“But why did Mythal choose you?”  Morrigan asks, rising from her place.  “What is your goal?”

“For a reckoning that will shake the very heavens.”  I can tell Morrigan has to hold back the scoff.

“And you follow her whims?  Do you even know what she truly is?”

“You seek to preserve the powers that were, but to what end?  It is because I taught you, girl, because things have happened that were never meant to happen.”  Now Flemeth’s first quivers on the armrest as she gets more agitated. Her voice rises and changes from her previous tone to a more angry one.  “She was betrayed as I was betrayed- as the world was betrayed! Mythal clawed and crawled her way through the ages to me, and I will see her avenged!”  And the last moment, she stands up in her anger, shouting into the void of the Fade. Morrigan shields Kieran from her. I stand behind and watch unmoving.  In a second, Flemeth slowly sinks back into the chair.

“Alas, so long as the music plays, we dance.  But I came for one thing, and one thing only.”  She says while turning her gaze to Kieran. The boy starts to step forward.

“I have to go now, Mother.”  He says, his voice quiver with tears.

“No!”  She cries and pulls him to her body.  “I will not allow it!”

 

Flemeth waves a hand, and Kieran starts slightly glowing purple.

“He carries a piece of what once was, snatched from the jaws of darkness.  You know this.”  _ The way Flemeth now emphasis ‘You’ and how she gives me a glance makes me wonder if she meant it as plural this time around… _

“He is not your pawn, I will not let you use him!”  Now she inclines her head for me to step closer. “Flemeth extends her life by taking the bodies of her daughters, Inquisitor.  I thwarted her and she intends to use Kieran instead!” I peer at Flemeth quizzically.

“But I thought she wanted his Old God soul?”  Now Morrigan looks like a deer in headlights.

“What- But… how?  I…”

“As I said:  Many secrets.  You hid him from me from time, but just until recently I was able to find you.”

“‘Twas the well…”  Morrigan says in horror while gazing at me.  Flemeth chuckles to herself.

“Be thankful the Inquisitor insisted on drinking, Morrigan.  Imagine, bound to your dear Mother for eternity.” As she laughs, Morrigan’s look changes to one of confusion and she pulls her son closer.  “But hear my proposal, dear girl. Let me take the lad, and you are free from me forever. I will never interfere with or harm you again. Or:  Keep the lad with you, and you will never be-”

“He returns with me,”  Morrigan says firmly, holding Kieran behind her protectively.  “Do whatever you wish. Take over my body now, if you must, but Kieran will be free of your clutches.  I am many things, but I will not be the mother you were to me.”

 

There’s now a heavy silence in the room.  Everyone’s watching each other. Flemeth seems to take in Morrigan’s words slowly.  The more they sink in, Flemeth slowly rises from the Captain's chair again, this time without malice.  She slowly extends her arm and a glow appears about her. A purple ball comes from Kieran’s heart and slowly floats to her.  All of us watch in awe and confusion. For a brief moment, I can see Morrigan and Kieran’s reflections in the light as it slowly sinks into Flemeth.  As she opens her eyes, Kieran speaks up.

“...No more dreams?”

“No more dreams.”  Flemeth repeats in a kinder tone.  Morrigan hugs Kieran to her tightly and holds him to her body.  “A soul is never forced upon the unwilling, Morrigan. You were never in any danger from me.  As for you, Inquisitor,” As she lowers her hand, she beckons me with a wave. I slowly approach her.

 

“I take it you are looking for some way to defeat Corypheus?”

“Um, y-yeah.”   _ I’m so scared she’s going to eat me or something… _

“I am not going to eat you.”  She replies with a raised eyebrow.   _ Oh yeah, she’s in my head. _  “I am going to bestow upon you a gift.  Master it in combat, and it is yours to command against Corypheus.  Fail, and you die. Hold still.”

“Wait, what is-”  But I’m forced to shut up by the power of the Well.  Everything is blue and hazy again. This time, Flemeth places a finger to my forehead.  My mind is filled with a roar as the light increases.  I feel like I’m towering over everything. My steps are long and heavy.  I’m powerful and loud. I can almost feel the synopsis firing in my brain or however that stuff works, when as soon as the finger is removed, I snap back into reality.

The second this happens, we’re all standing in the green Fade and Flemeth looks like she did in Dragon Age 2.  “Well, now my brain hurts…” I mumble as I rub my forehead. Flemeth smiles to herself and begins to walk away.

“Hey, wait!”  Flemeth doesn’t stop walking and suddenly snaps out of sight.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cue Catherine running around Skyhold loudly singing the Jurassic Park theme at the top of her lungs


	70. DINOSAUR

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> DINOSAUR ROAD TRIP!

The creature stands in the largest open area in Skyhold.  Everyone stands in fear and awe of this new magic. Cole gazes up at the strange beast from under the brim of his hat.  He feels a mixture of emotions swirling around like a storm. _Confusion.  Fear. Anxious.  Wonder. Excitement.  What the hell is that?  Maker, will it kill us? Holy shit, this is awesome._

The head is large, mostly covered in scales with a few feathers here and there.  It was almost like she couldn’t fully come up with the image, and instead, combined two.  The loudest sound is the breaths from the short nose a good distance above all their heads.   The top of her head was close to the ramparts now; maybe even the top. Cole couldn’t quite tell from down here.  Just as some of the inner circle begin to move closer, the creature begins to wiggle it’s short arms up and down. Then comes a deep, distressed, groan and the wiggling intensifies.  The large creature begins to turn its head in distress as the arms pitifully attempt to reach upward.

“What’s happening?”  Solas asks as he looks on from a distance, both full of wonder and hesitation at the new ability of their leader.  Cole concentrators and begins to focus on his friend.

_Where’s the ground?  Why am I so high up? Where did my arms go?  My fingers? I can’t see my toes! I made a bad decision!  I don’t like this! I don’t like this!_

“She is afraid of heights.”  He announces to the group. He hears a series of various snickers or understanding, but quiet, chuckles.

“Is that it?”  Sera asks, hopping up on a rock to get a better look.  The archer puts her hands on her hips as she strides to the giant beast.  She cups her hands and yells upward. “Oy, Birdy! Why’d you go and turn into a tall dragon-er-thing if its too high?  Put your head down here!” The creature’s arms stop wiggling. The large head tilts down to look at Sera, before looking about left, right, and down again.  There’s a low rumble of confusion from the Inquisitor-Dragon. Sera turns to Cole and points upward in similar emotion.

“She doesn’t know how to bend down.”

“Use your knees!”  Another distressed sound.

“What if she can’t get up?”  Sera just waves her arms up.

“Then be *you* you!  What, it’s been a minute and you forgot what you look like?”

“Oh.”  There’s a pause.  Cole does not know why.  “Right.”

 

Slowly, the Inquisitor turns her head back as much as she can (which isn’t very much) and slowly begins to crouch down.  The guards on the upper railings and the ground near her tail all give her a wide breadth. The inner circle mostly watches from a distance, with Sera, Cole, and the Iron Bull being the closest.  Solas, Dorian, and Cassandra keep a wider distance, but close enough to observe closely. Varric is watching from atop a wall. It is probably so he can see better. This new form is quite tall. Cole sense Blackwall somewhere near Varric, but cannot see from this angle.  Vivienne, meanwhile, watches from her balcony, taking time to trade disapproving looks from the scenario and at Morrigan. Eventually, the Inquisitor lies on her stomach, her large head resting on the ground and gazing at the group. Her tiny arms will not be able to help her up.  Cole thinks she looks almost like those ‘seals’ she sometimes looks at on her phone. She giggles at the way they move.

* * *

 

_Holy cheeseballs.  I guess I’m a dinosaur now…  Good thing I’m on the ground.  This boy is way too tall. Least I didn’t pick a Brachiosaurus.  Or a Brontosaurus. Or was it Apatosaurus. One of the two. I’d probably start crying._  Both Bull and Sera now come up to take a closer look.  I can kind of see them out of my peripherals, but my eyes are now on the sides of my head so that changes things.  I’m also pretty much stuck on the ground until I get used to my new skeletal structure. _I can’t believe I forgot how knees work._

“Hey, Boss!  Lookin’ good.”  Bull is now in front of my… I guess it’s my nose. _I can’t see him all that well.  Surprised I can hear him. I don’t know where my ears are anymore._

_...Do I even have ears?  What happened to my ears?_  “Listen, I wanna check something.  So, you told me back in Haven these things had giant teeth…”  I may not be able to see down the edge of my nose that well but I know he’s grinning.

“Can I see ‘em?”  

I try emitting a noise that goes up in tone on the end like a question.

“Just humor me.”  I snort a puff of air and slowly expose my teeth.  It feels like I’m giving a weird smile. I hear a lot of people around us gasp.   _They better not think about poking me with a sword…_  “Damn, is this awesome!”   _At least someone’s having fun-_

 

Suddenly, there’s a tickling sensation along my right leg going up.  I start to turn my head around, but Bull puts his hand on my nose to stop me.

“Easy, it’s just Sera.  Hey!” He bellows up at her.  “You’re supposed to ask before you do that!”

“I’ll be a sec!  I just wanna see the view!”

“Just don’t start twitching, Boss.  You might hit something. Also, how loud can you roar?”  I give a grumble of confusion. I can feel Sera slowly walking along my back until she finally reaches my head. _I guess that’s better than having her climb up my face._

“She doesn’t want you to go deaf,”  Cole explains, walking up to stand beside Bull.

“I can take it,”  Bull says. “Do the roar thing!  Hit me with it!” Cole turns around and addresses the group.

“You may want to plug your ears.”

Everything is quiet as I prepare myself.  Seconds that pass seem like hours. And then I try clearing my throat, and,

“RWAAAAAAAAR!”   _It’s not as loud or imposing as in the movie… but it’s a start.  I guess I gotta practice so when we face Corphy I sound awesome._

“YES!”  Bull cheers triumphantly.  “YES! This is one of the greatest days of my life!”   _Yay, I did a thing and made Bull happy!_

“That was friggin great!”  Sera calls down from my forehead.   _Wish I could see where she is..._

  


As I sit here, wishing I could see things better and not be stuck on the ground, I get to thinking.   _Why just a T-Rex?  Why not more? I love Velociraptors, and those are way smaller than this.  That’d be so much more fun! I could attack stuff as a Raptor and then scream at dragons as a T-Rex.  Way better than being a big dinosaur trying not to step on my party as I try to step on things way smaller than me._

I start tapping into the explanation Flemeth implanted in my brain and imagine a Velociraptor.   _Small, one big toe with a claw, feathers, little arms bent at the elbow, a long tail for balance, poofy feathers to make a floofy baby…_  And suddenly I’ve shrunk down from a giant head to a much smaller body.  I have a much better view of the courtyard as I land on my feet. Sera also falls, but Bull is able to catch her before she hits the dirt.

“A warning would be great next time…”  She grumbles as she hops down from the Qunari’s arms.  I look down at my feet and give a sad sounding dinosaur noise.  I hope that works as an apologie. Both of them now look down at me, but it’s better than I can see them this time.

“Well, now you’re just a little guy, huh?”  Bull asks. I give that Jurassic Park bark noise in response.  Now that I’m a lot smaller, most of the soldiers and companions that were a distance away start to slowly creep closer.  Dorian is the first to approach.

“Since when do dragons have feathers?”  Bull gives a sigh the same time I bark at Dorian and give a little hop.  It doesn’t do much to portray my annoyance.

“So did all you guys forget the explanation she gave us about her world’s history and evolution?”  I notice Solas in the background makes a face like when he drinks tea at the mention. No one else says anything.  “You guys all just… forgot something that important?” Dorian raises a hand in protest.

“I’ve been studying her technology to modify my communication crystal.  That isn’t this.” He says, pointing at me. Bull gives a shrug and a slight tilt of the head.

“That’s fair, I guess.  You did use that to save our butts back at the Temple.”

“It’s a bit more impressive than hitting them with a sharp piece of metal until backup arrives.”

“Hey, whoa,”  Bull says, holding up his hands.  “Let’s not get crazy.” Now Morrigan begins the approach.

“This is what my mother intends for you to defeat Corypheus’ dragon with?”  She crosses her arms as she appraised me. “Do you even know how to fight as such a creature?  Will you be able to survive such an encounter?” She sounds a lot more biting today, but considering everything to do with her mom, and how I’m now linked to her mom, and also got this power from her mom, no wonder she’s cranky. _I can understand her underestimating me, but did she have to be so harsh about it?  Kinda hurting my feelings here…_

“In that case,”  Cassandra says, also joining the little semi-circle around the velociraptor.  “There are some known locations of dragons-” Bull cuts her off excitedly at the mention of actual dragons.  

“Sign me up!”

“-in areas the Inquisition has been trying to gain a foothold, such as The Western Approach, the Hissing Wastes, or perhaps the Exalted Plains.”  The Seeker continues. “Aiding them will help Catherine gain the experience she needs before we attack directly.” _That’s a good idea.  If we do the dragon side quests, I can learn how to beat them with my own teeth and then we won’t all die!_   _And I can finish the companion side-quests like getting the Wyvern heart for Vivienne._

“Fuck yes!  I’m in!” Both Iron Bull and Sera are extremely excited.

“Hell yeah!”

“Inquisition road trip!”  I hear Varric call out from somewhere else.   _Hey, I like road trips.  This could be_ _fun!_

I hop up and down in excitement and give a strange laugh sound that I remember from when I played Spore.  I hear Bull and Sera snort in unison.

"How is it so adorable and deadly at the same time?"  She asks in an open question to no one in particular.

"It's the feathers.  And the teeth."  Bull replies.  "Probably also the fact we know that dinosaur isn't going to bite us."

"She doesn't think you all would taste good."  Cole pipes up while I continue hopping and attempting to flap my arms to hover or fly.  It doesn't work.  I'm a dodo with a lot of teeth.

"Hey!"  Iron Bull says in a mock offended tone.  "There's some people who think I taste pretty good..."  He gets a various mixture of groans, angry side eyes, and me barking at him in annoyance.

"Sorry, guys."  I bark at him again, but this time in satisfaction.  He nods approvingly at my choice of sound.  "It's like a tiny dragon that got covered in a pillow."  At that comment, I'm back on my own two feet.

"Hey, hey, dinosaur, di-no-saur.  Not dragon, I don't do that flying thing."

* * *

 

 

“So listen,”  Sera says the second I get my human body back.  “I got a tip that some noble stiffs are arguing over Vershiel.  A land squabble. They’re getting little people beat up, so I was thinking, since it’s on the way to the desert on our dragon trip, we stop there and have a little walk through town with the Inquisitor herself.” _Wait, what?_

“Just… walk through?  Just walk through a town?”

“Yeah, easy right?  We need supplies n shite, so why not knock this out on the way?”   _It can’t be that easy.  It’s never_ **_that_ ** _easy._

“Is this a Red Jenny thingy?”

“Nah, just normal angry people getting sick of being in the middle.  I don’t usually hear about things this far away, but having a friend like you is like getting really big ears.  Bigger than normal, I guess, because I’m… nevermind.” I guess it’s helping regular folks, and if we need stuff might as well kill two birds one stone.  


“Yeah,”  I nod to her as my legs wobble a bit.   _Changing from a dinosaur back to me feel so weird._ “ I can talk to Cass about making a stop there on the way.”

“Brilliant!”  She gives me a slap on the shoulder in excitement.  “It’s fun, right? Being important without having to do much of a thing.  Not everything has to be torn skies and ancient arseholes. Every little thing makes a difference somewhere.”

“Yeah, you make a good point.  I like helping in little ways rather than save the whole world, ya know?  Way less stressful.”

“Pfft, tell me about it.  I’d hate to have to kiss up to Nobs all the time for help ‘n all that.”

“Same!”  I loudly agree not caring if anyone important is in earshot.  Might get in trouble for that later. “I just wish I could clock half these guys… or, I dunno, eat ‘em.”  Sera stops on the stairs to Skyhold and looks at me strangely.

“Eat ‘em?”

“Yeah, eat the rich.  Like, not **eat** eat them, but eat them.”

“I don’t get it, Birdy.”

“Uhh…”  I tap my foot as I try to think of an explanation.  “Like getting back at the man?”

* * *

 

“Bro, number one:”  I jump right into my question for Dorian as I approach him at his usual nook.  I see a few books scattered on the table near the chair. A crystal rests on top of them.  “How the hell did you call my phone from a rock? Can you text? Can I text you? How do I save your number?”  The mage looks a little confused at my tirade.

“What are you talking about, Catherine?  What rock?”

“At the temple.  The rock. You called my phone.  How? Explain.” At the mention of the Temple of Mythal he instantly brightens.

“Ah, yes, of course!  I used an ancient Tevinter scrying crystal as a base and used the information from that article you showed me.  The one about the history of your world’s communication by phone?”

“Oh, right.  Wikipedia.” Meanwhile, Dorian keeps talking as he excitedly explains, his hands moving about as he paces.

“Yes, that.  I was able to use magical theory to use the number your phone has to triangulate its signal to call you directly and use the energy of the Fade to amplify the call strength so it would go through regardless of our lack of towers.  With Dagna’s help I was able to get the prototype you see there in working order- though I had to do the field test at the temple- and now I’m working on some fine-tuning.” He swiftly moves to the device in question, robes swishing, and takes it in his palm.  After it glows a few moments, my pocket begins to ring. Again, the number is listed as unknown.

“Yeah, but you can call me, but I can’t call you.  You’re just listed as unknown.” He frowns to himself briefly.

“I’m trying to figure that part out.  I would need to get the crystal to emit a signal to your phone that comes up as a series of numbers while also being able to contact any other crystal I choose to.  And on top of that, I don’t have an idea on how to get the instant messaging you’ve mentioned to work. There would be no way to write.”

“You said the original crystals recorded audio and video, sort of?  Why not use the holograms to make the messages and keyboard appear?”  He tilts his head with a new glimmer in his eye.

“I could see that.  But what to do about-”  But he stops his thought as Mother Giselle starts to come up the steps behind us.

“Oh, excuse me, I…”  She begins like she didn’t mean to interrupt, yet she comes closer to the two of us with a purpose.

“This again?”  Dorian sighs and then begins to fill in the situation at my perplexed look.  “It seems the Revered Mother is concerned about my undue influence over you.”

“It is just concern.  Your Worship, you must know how this looks.  A heathen and a heretic…” I glance back and forth between them while trying to piece it together.

“I don’t get it, who’s who?”

“You might need to spell it out for her, my dear.”  He addresses Giselle directly. Although he’s using a polite speech, he doesn’t seem too happy.

“This man is of Tevinter,”  Giselle explains to me. “His presence at your side, the rumors alone…”  I immediately scooch closer to him as soon as the sentence passes her lips.

“But he’s my friend.”

 

“I’m fully aware not everyone from the Imperium is the same-”  She begins to backpedal, but Dorian cuts her off.

“How kind of you to notice.  Yet still, you bow to the opinion of the masses.”

“The opinion of the masses is based on centuries of evidence.”   _Sounds like an excuse to be a jerk if you ask me._  “What would you have me tell them?”   _Who is them anyway?  Is she just using ‘them’ when she means a specific person?  Someone in Skyhold like a soldier? A guard? Servant? Giselle herself?_

“The truth?”  Dorian responds, throwing his hands into the air.  Mother Giselle keeps her calm demeanor as she places a hand on her heart.

“The truth is I do not know you and neither do they.  Thus, these rumors will continue. The fact he may be Andrastrian but his people hold up a male Divine is just as you may be the Herald of our Lady but do not worship the Maker.”

“He’s. My.  Friend! And. I. Am. Not. Catholic!”  This declaration has no effect on the Revered Mother.

“With all due respect, you underestimate the effect this man has on the people’s good opinion.”

“Yeah, and the people’s ‘good opinion’ is that I’m a crazy alien witch who should have been burnt at the stake awhile ago, along with you calling me a godless heathen.”  Finally, she takes a slight pause before speaking.

“I...see.  I meant no disrespect, Inquisitor.  Only to ask after this man’s intentions.”

“Have you even been paying attention to anything he’s done since he’s got here?”  I ask, gesturing to him with both arms. “Dorian’s helped out so many times and you still think he’s a bad guy?”  Her head bows down as she speaks, her hands clasped together.

“If you feel he is without ulterior motive, then I humbly beg forgiveness of you both.”  Without another word, Giselle turns and leaves the way she came.

 

Both Dorian and I are quiet a few moments.

“Well, that’s something.”  He finally says, walking back to his books and beginning to search the shelves for anything relevant.

“You good, dude?”  He gives a noncommittal shrug at my question.

“It takes more to get to me than thinly veiled accusations.”  He sounds pretty nonchalant. I quietly peak over the edge of the railing, but there’s no sign of her.

“She’s not gonna… do anything, right?”

“Do what?”  Dorian gives a snort of a laugh.  “Yours is the ‘good opinion’ I care about, not hers.”  There’s a pause as he regards me before going back to the shelves.

“I should ask, do the rumors bother you?”

“Only ‘cause people are being mean and saying crap about you but not to your face and your my friend and… and…”  I don’t know what other words to say to express my feelings. The mage seems to pick up on this.

“They know you even less than they know me.  As you said, you’re the ‘alien’ among us. Perhaps no matter what either of us do, people will distrust our ‘intentions’ whatever they may be.”  As he takes a few books back to his area, the Tevinter stops after he sets them on the floor. “Perhaps it’s odd to say, but, I think of you as a friend, Catherine.”  I immediately start to get those really fuzzy feelings where I can’t control myself and start babbling like I saw a kitten. _He called me ‘friend’!  He said I’m his friend! He’s my friend!_

“I have precious few friends.  I didn’t think to find one here.  I detest confessions and I’d like to get this over with.  Allow me to say I’ll stand beside you, against Corypheus, my countrymen, or spurious rumor.  So long as you’ll have me.” While he’s giving this dramatic declaration, I’m just standing there grinning like an idiot waving my hands around.

“Are you al-”  He begins to ask, but I cut him off with a hug.  He’s initially a little stiff from shock but returns the gesture, before shooing me off and pretending to fix his clothes and hair.

“Just don’t go telling anyone I’m secretly sentimental.  Hate to ruin my charm and mystique.”

* * *

 

The stairs creak as I climb up to Leliana, and the ravens' caw to announce my presence.  My Spymaster seems to be pouring over some papers and deep in thought.

“So,”  I say to draw her attention as I start to walk close.  Thankfully, I don’t startle her and there’s no knife in my face.  “I hear Josie’s pretty upbeat about Valance, huh?” Leliana responds with a reaction of slight annoyance and contentment.

“Ugh, she’s positively beside herself.  I will never hear the end of it.” There’s a mock scoff before she pitches her voice up.  “‘Niceness before knives, Leliana. Haven’t I always told you?’” I can’t hide my laugh at the Josephine impression.  I give a little cough to calm myself and ask what I came here about.

“So, how have you been doing... since Valance?”

“Good.  Wonderful.”  She replies in a lighter tone than I’m used to.  Just hearing the change in her voice makes me realize it’s been a while since Origins, and that she’s been through a lot.  “It was something of a rebirth for me. If you hadn’t been with me, I’d have killed Natalie. I would have told you I didn’t have a choice, but there is always a choice.  I am more than this. I am more than what Justinia made me. I know now I should listen to my heart. That mercy is not always a weakness.” Leliana gives a deep nod in thought as she speaks, glancing at the shrine to Andrastre she keeps in the corner.  Her face looks calm and serene. It makes me feel a lot better about how she’s doing.

“I’m really glad to have you back.  It’s good seeing you… not so hard all the time.”  She gives another deep nod as she begins to walk forward.

“And now I will know when and when not to use it.  I have to stay true to who I really am. Before the Spymaster, Left Hand, or Bard.”  There’s a change in her demeanor and poise as she continues talking. “And now some look to I, Cassandra, or even Vivienne to be her successor.  I’ve been pondering who should become Divine, and it occurred to me, is it so ridiculous for the Grand Clerics to support me? Why shouldn’t they?”   _There is a fire and determination in her voice.  She genuinely sounds like she wants this. I remember when I spoke to Cass, she almost sounded hesitant about it._

“Wait, you want to be Pope- I mean, Divine?  Why? What would you do with it?”

“Change things.  Change everything.”  She says, her hands moving as she speaks.  “You’ve supported the Mage Rebellion, that is a start.  No more Circles, the mages will be free. The Chantry will accept them as the Maker’s Children they are.  It will accept everyone.” You spoke of a God who is all loving and a person's relationship is determined by themselves; not doctrine, their birth, or a Chantry priest. I will change that.  Elves, Dwarves, Mages, Qunari. Why exclude them? The Chantry allows us to tear ourselves apart, instead of teaching us how we are the same. That’s how you said this ‘Jesus’ was, correct? Perhaps it may be time for Andrastre to put down her sword at times...”

 

I sit there watching her say her piece with such conviction. _I admit, when I told her after Adamant about the faith I grew up in, I really didn’t expect her to remember it much or think about it as she has been.  It really sounds like she’s been giving this a lot of thought._

“I admit, I agree with you, but that seems like a lot of change at once.”  I give a half committed shrug. “I can’t imagine the Chantry going with it willingly.”  Leliana gives a head tilt of her own in response.

“Perhaps they may resist.”  She says in an unworried tone.  “Justinia wanted the Chantry to grow, but her reforms never took root.  She was held back by tradition and was too gentle to force change. I won’t make that mistake.”   _She’s got a lot of conviction for change and doesn’t seem like she’s going to slow down despite what others around her may say._

“It almost sounds like you’re starting the Protestant Reformation all over again.”  She was watching a few of her messenger birds while I said this, but at the end of the sentence, she turns her head with a curious look.

“Reformation?”   _Her hood turns with her head and doesn’t seem to be in danger of ever falling off.  Does she use bobby pins?_  “What do you mean?”   _Oh boy, let’s hope AP Euro from years ago didn’t fail me._

“There was a priest who took issue with… a lot of things, but I remember the selling of indulgences was one.  He nailed his thesis to the door of the church, listing some things wrong and how to change them. Not many of the higher-ups liked the rebellion it spread among some people.  Even though I don’t think he meant for it to go that far, there was a split in the church because they didn’t want to change. And then they kept spilling over various disagreements over faith.  Now there’s a lot of different denominations, at least in America that I’m aware of.”

 

Leliana takes in my words and thinks about it before speaking.  She taps her cheek with a finger.

“So you think if I become Divine the Chantry may spilt?”

“I’m honestly not sure.  Just the whole mages thing seems like a big change all at once, and lots of people might throw hissy fits.  But, if that’s what you want, go for it. I’m just saying it reminded me of that, is all.”

“I see.”  She says with a deep nod of respect.  “Thank you for your console, Catherine.  Your support may sway the Grand Clerics to vote in my favor.”  I nod a few times as I take her cue to leave.

“Sure, no problem.  Here to help.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You know, if you'd have told me when the first chapter was just for fun in my drafts, that I'd write 70 chapters of this around a year later, I might not have believed it. Thank you guys so much for your comments, kudos, and support! Makes this a whole lot more fun!


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